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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Dirty little secrets
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
When candidating for my present Pastorate, I was asked, "Do you like children?" This was important as the church seeks to be very child-friendly.
I didn't have the wit to reply, "It depends: do you mean roast, boiled or fried?" ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif) What I actually said (truthfully) was that I like most children, most of the time.
[ 14. September 2017, 10:48: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
wild haggis: quote:
All those folk who don't like children! I can guess what they were like as kids from their descriptions. It takes one to know one. We were all once kids Or were they born fully formed adults - poor mothers if they were!
Well, I think that's a bit unfair. I can see where these people are coming from; I don't like all children. I like some people who happen to be children at the moment.
I like chip butties, but this is not really a secret as part of the pleasure of eating them is due to Other Half and Daughter pretending to be embarrassed when I have one...
Why would this cause embarrassment?
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
They think I am being Common. Or at least, that's what they *say*. I think they just like pretending to be embarrassed. Having dinner in a fish and chip shop is Common anyway, to those who worry about such things.
[ 14. September 2017, 13:46: Message edited by: Jane R ]
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
When candidating for my present Pastorate, I was asked, "Do you like children?" This was important as the church seeks to be very child-friendly.
I didn't have the wit to reply, "It depends: do you mean roast, boiled or fried?" What I actually said (truthfully) was that I like most children, most of the time.
In an interview, if you want the job, you should be yourself, but if this isn't what the people hiring are looking for, then be someone else, rather quickly!
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
posted by JaneR quote:
They think I am being Common. Or at least, that's what they *say*. I think they just like pretending to be embarrassed. Having dinner in a fish and chip shop is Common anyway, to those who worry about such things.
The only people who worry about things, situations, or people, being "common" are the nouveau middle-class ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
Well, that's why I think they're just pretending to be embarrassed. We're not nouveau anything.
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LutheranChik:
I lied to my Fitbit albout what I ate today.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
It's hard to be honest when it's only a machine!
I tried Slimming World online, it didn't help me at all - I need a human to be answerable to.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Clarence
Shipmate
# 9491
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Posted
DLSs?
I'm not particularly fond of country music, but I love the banjo (and relate to Billy Connolly suggesting that it should be played on a porch in close proximity to a chicken).
I adore bagpipe music and go weak at the knees at a solitary piper or a full pipe band.
I knit wild tea cosies and silly hats.
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I scraped my knees while I was praying - Paramore
Posts: 793 | From: Over the rainbow | Registered: May 2005
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Clarence:
DLSs?
... I love the banjo (and relate to Billy Connolly suggesting that it should be played on a porch in close proximity to a chicken).
Tick!
quote:
Originally posted by Clarence:
I adore bagpipe music and go weak at the knees at a solitary piper or a full pipe band.
Absolutely, tick! The more the merrier.
quote:
Originally posted by Clarence:
I knit wild tea cosies and silly hats.
While not a dirty little secret, exactly, it is kind of shameful that I can't co-ordinate a pair of knitting needles any more than I can bring something successfully to my mouth with a pair of chopsticks...
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
When candidating for my present Pastorate, I was asked, "Do you like children?" This was important as the church seeks to be very child-friendly.
I didn't have the wit to reply, "It depends: do you mean roast, boiled or fried?" What I actually said (truthfully) was that I like most children, most of the time.
Here is a list you could have given them ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
I like long hair on a man and find male ponytails and man-buns quite attractive
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Not long hair in the man-buns, Miss Amanda should hope. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
(She'll get her wrap.)
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
Another DLS
I'm a popaholic - I love to watch Dr Pimplepopper videos on Youtube
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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MaryLouise
Shipmate
# 18697
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Posted
Kitten, I once watched a YouTube video about someone pulling out a loo-oo-ong black hair embedded and coiled up in a swollen pus-headed pimple under their chin. It was ghoulish, revolting and utterly fascinating.
Never again, that way lies madness.
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“As regards plots I find real life no help at all. Real life seems to have no plots.”
-- Ivy Compton-Burnett
Posts: 646 | From: Cape Town | Registered: Nov 2016
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Dirty Little Secret?
Our cat poops in ornamental jars, preferably when they are on window sills.........
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
But then I prefer traditional chips and pies, meat and veg to the arty farty gumph that most cafes favoured by my friends and family tend to serve.
We had fish and chips (from the chippie) tonight, as we were too lazy to cook.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MaryLouise:
Kitten, I once watched a YouTube video about someone pulling out a loo-oo-ong black hair embedded and coiled up in a swollen pus-headed pimple under their chin. It was ghoulish, revolting and utterly fascinating.
Never again, that way lies madness.
...
Now I understand all those people who are angling for a "like" button.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MaryLouise:
Kitten, I once watched a YouTube video about someone pulling out a loo-oo-ong black hair embedded and coiled up in a swollen pus-headed pimple under their chin. It was ghoulish, revolting and utterly fascinating.
Never again, that way lies madness.
Even the imagined recreation of this is a fantastic dietary aid. One cannot intake food if one is simultaneously expelling it.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
It is a work of art. A finer specimen of descriptive narrative I have rarely seen.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
It is a work of art. A finer specimen of descriptive narrative I have rarely seen.
No one said art need be pretty, I suppose.
[ 01. October 2017, 18:54: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
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Posted
True confession: A friend of ours says she hates onion and garlic and asks us to not put them in food we bring to her dinners and parties. But we know that she only hates the onion and garlic when she can see the pieces in the food, so we chop everything as finely as possible, and she loves our food.
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Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
We used to know a couple like that, LutheranChik, but they loved my kipper pâté, which is probably more garlic than kippers.
As you say, as long as you don't tell them ...
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Polly Plummer
Shipmate
# 13354
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Posted
That sort of subterfuge is OK if it's only a matter of liking/disliking, but a bit tough if the guest is allergic to the food.
Posts: 577 | Registered: Jan 2008
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
I say the same thing about garlic, but really it's the smell: no garlic bread, no aioli, no Italian kitchens (cue churning stomach ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) ) If it's in food with no obvious garlicky smell, however, then there's no problem. Maybe it's the same with your friends?
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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MaryLouise
Shipmate
# 18697
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Posted
I used to serve up wobbly servings of vanilla pannacotta to a vegetarian friend without realising the gelatin had animal products in it. A confession of ignorance, not deliberate deception. Now I use agar-agar. And before inviting vegan friends around, I double-check all my condiments.
I don't mind deceiving friends who are only fussy about disliking certain ingredients and who eat them in disguise (garlic-haters). I wouldn't secretly serve volatilised alcohol in dishes to a recovering alcoholic because I understand that even the smell or a faint winey taste can trigger cravings. When I know people have strongly held objections on ethical grounds to animal products, I respect that. One friend is a vegetarian who occasionally eats bacon and likes fish and chicken without specifying why or when. I don't know I'd bother to tell her I've put chicken stock not root-vegetable stock in a casserole.
A tricky slope.
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“As regards plots I find real life no help at all. Real life seems to have no plots.”
-- Ivy Compton-Burnett
Posts: 646 | From: Cape Town | Registered: Nov 2016
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Cathscats
Shipmate
# 17827
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Posted
When I was an undergrad, a long long time ago, one year I lived in a house with four others. One of the others declared that she didn't like tuna. But we were poor students, we more or less lived on tuna, so the rest of us conspired to hide the cans and tell her that what was in the sauce poured over the pasta was chicken. She never did twig. I expect she wonders now why her chicken never tastes quite like those delicious things we ate as students!
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"...damp hands and theological doubts - the two always seem to go together..." (O. Douglas, "The Setons")
Posts: 176 | From: Central Highlands | Registered: Sep 2013
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
I also had a student flatmate with a habit of declaring she didn’t like things without trying them. One of the things she refused to eat in any shape or form was eggs. I served her a soufflé without telling her how it’s made and she liked it. Only afterwards did I say “so you do like eggs after all”.
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Polly Plummer:
That sort of subterfuge is OK if it's only a matter of liking/disliking, but a bit tough if the guest is allergic to the food.
I avoid foods with onion and garlic also, which can make it difficult to find a suitable dish at potlucks and at some of our favorite restaurants. I love the taste, but it gives me industrial-strength dragon breath for several days afterwards.
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by la vie en rouge:
I also had a student flatmate with a habit of declaring she didn’t like things without trying them. One of the things she refused to eat in any shape or form was eggs. I served her a soufflé without telling her how it’s made and she liked it. Only afterwards did I say “so you do like eggs after all”.
This sort of game is played on me periodically, and makes me feel sorely aggrieved, consider breaking off friendships, salt their coffee and dream of duels at dawn. Wouldst thou also secretly serve meat products to vegetarians, pork to Jews and Muslims, communion to Beelzebub?
Story:
I do not eat yoghourt in any form regardless of the spelling (yogurt, yoghurt, yogourt, yuckgourt), its attested fruitiness, alleged intestinal benefits from patented bacteria, its Greek pudding-like texture, nor the suggested similarity in frozen form to icecream. --My mother was fully incompetent, lazy and uncaring in the kitchen. Liked to open tins of food and stand them directly on stove burners or in a pan of water to heat up the contents. How she loved an electric frying pan filled with an inch of water and the cooking labels of tinned stew, alphagetti, peas and beans.
To the point to the story:
She thought powdered milk was a grand thing, low cost for 50 lbs at a go. She would mix up the milk and turn it into a form of this yuckgourt stuff. Later she figured out how to add tofu to it, and also to make icing for cakes from the yogourt-tofu snot. So I don't eat the glairy substance out of as much conviction as any vegetarian and more than most gluten avoiders, with the addition gustatory trauma (I feel nausea coming even typing about it). So if you decide to slip yoghourt to me, you'd best not tell me and pray to eternal God for forgiveness and the strength to maintain the deception to the grave and beyond!
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Polly Plummer:
That sort of subterfuge is OK if it's only a matter of liking/disliking, but a bit tough if the guest is allergic to the food.
I'm not sure it's ok even then. I know parents often do it if a child refuses to eat certain things. Sometimes, kids have a food sensitivity, and the grown-ups don't realize it.
Lots of people have food sensitivities, and/or were forced to eat certain things, and/or have negative emotional baggage associated with particular food, and/or have private religious/ethical dietary practices, **and/or have health problems that you don't know about, like diabetes**, and/or simply don't like a particular food.
Hosts, please be really, really careful.
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Mine is a clean little secret.
I don’t have sweaty feet at all, but I like to change my socks at least three times a day ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
I do not eat yoghourt in any form regardless of the spelling (yogurt, yoghurt, yogourt, yuckgourt)
My grandma hated it too.
She called it yogmuck.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
I say the same thing about garlic, but really it's the smell: no garlic bread, no aioli, no Italian kitchens (cue churning stomach ) If it's in food with no obvious garlicky smell, however, then there's no problem. Maybe it's the same with your friends?
Not really: there was one restaurant where they would cheerfully eat the garlic bread.
If they'd genuinely been allergic, obviously I wouldn't have given them anything with garlic in it. It was more of an affectation: he was a bit "unreconstructed" and didn't really like anything "foreign" - including the people ... ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
My latest secret is so shameful that I can only tell it here where hardly anyone knows me. We now have a car with an automatic transmission.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
My latest secret is so shameful that I can only tell it here where hardly anyone knows me. We now have a car with an automatic transmission.
It's virtually impossible to find a car with standard transmission in the U.S. I've driven nothing but stick shifts for the past 35+ years, and people think I'm strange (which I probably am, but not because I drive a stick shift).
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
My latest secret is so shameful that I can only tell it here where hardly anyone knows me. We now have a car with an automatic transmission.
That is not a proper car, but an oversized children's toy. Hang your head in shame.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Re: "smuggling" ingredients past unsuspecting guests
posted by LutheranChik quote:
True confession: A friend of ours says she hates onion and garlic and asks us to not put them in food we bring to her dinners and parties. But we know that she only hates the onion and garlic when she can see the pieces in the food, so we chop everything as finely as possible, and she loves our food.
posted by Polly Plummer quote:
That sort of subterfuge is OK if it's only a matter of liking/disliking, but a bit tough if the guest is allergic to the food.
Indeed. Which is why I carry an epipen.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I try to carry stuff in case cranberries might have been creatively thrown into the salad/cider/sangria/stuffing/what have you. People don't tell you, because who the hell is allergic to cranberries? Besides me, I mean. And they often have no clue what is in their fruit whatsit.
[ 13. October 2017, 16:03: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mr Clingford
Shipmate
# 7961
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Posted
Although I am in my mid-forties, and mildly respectable, I still like eating a kebab now and again, a wonderful relic of my various student days.
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Ne'er cast a clout till May be out.
If only.
Posts: 1660 | From: A Fleeting moment | Registered: Jul 2004
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