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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Chapter & Worse   » 1 Samuel 18:27... Say it with foreskins

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Source: (consider it) Thread: 1 Samuel 18:27... Say it with foreskins
Simon

Editor
# 1

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Verse nominated by Pam Smith

"David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king's son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage." (1 Samuel 18:27, in context)

Pam Smith comments: As the passage goes on to say that the Lord was with David, it seems he approved of killing 200 Philistines for their foreskins. I'm just really glad it's never cropped up in the lectionary when I've been preaching -- so far anyway! (To say nothing of the fact that Michal, his bride to be, loved him after he'd done it... what's wrong with a nice bunch of flowers and some chocolates?)

How much of a problem is this verse? Click "Vote Now" to cast your vote!

[ 03. September 2009, 19:29: Message edited by: Simon ]

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Eternal memory

Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Oh, how freaking cool would that be as a wedding lection.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Oh, how freaking cool would that be as a wedding lection.

Do NOT tempt me [Snigger]

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Hail Gallaxhar

Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Bullfrog.

Prophetic Amphibian
# 11014

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I was tempted to start a thread a while back on David's incredible confusion about being God's chosen king and being a total jackass.

Might go back to the earlier Samuel passage about how kings are a really really bad idea.

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Some say that man is the root of all evil
Others say God's a drunkard for pain
Me, I believe that the Garden of Eden
Was burned to make way for a train. --Josh Ritter, Harrisburg

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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It was sheer wasteful laziness, really. Foreskins could have been gathered without killing anyone. The involuntary donors might have had to be tied down, though. [Eek!]

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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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episcolib
Apprentice
# 13785

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The author of I Samuel shows a great sense of humor, here. [Devil]

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We have been with child, we have been in labour, but have brought forth wind. Is. 26:18

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Simon:
quote:
Pam Smith comments: As the passage goes on to say that the Lord was with David, it seems he approved of killing 200 Philistines for their foreskins. I'm just really glad it's never cropped up in the lectionary when I've been preaching -- so far anyway! (To say nothing of the fact that Michal, his bride to be, loved him after he'd done it... what's wrong with a nice bunch of flowers and some chocolates?)
Funny that Michal approved of a bunch of bloody, human tissue bits as courting gifts, yet thought her husband dancing in his skivvies was undignified:
quote:
As the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, and she despised him in her heart. 2Sam 6:16
She probably whined to him, "You never bring me any enemy foreskins anymore!" too, after he'd spent a hard day on the throne. Marriage changes everything. [Frown]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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She: "You don't bring me foreskins"
He: "You don't like me naked"
Both: "Anymore..."

with apologies to Neil Diamond

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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And Babs. [Big Grin]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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BWSmith
Shipmate
# 2981

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quote:
Originally posted by episcolib:
The author of I Samuel shows a great sense of humor, here. [Devil]

^ this.
Posts: 722 | From: North Carolina, USA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
leo
Shipmate
# 1458

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Thankfully, this verse does not appear in the Revised Common lectionary - the preceding verses appear on the feast of S. Joseph and stop at verse 16.
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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It's difficult to know why you'd want 200 foreskins really, but I suppose if your religion forbids you from making real pork scratchings, they might be turned into an acceptable substitute.

[ 31. January 2010, 07:56: Message edited by: Think² ]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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kankucho
Shipmate
# 14318

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quote:
Originally posted by Think²:
It's difficult to know why you'd want 200 foreskins really

It's a very versatile gift. You could stitch them together to make a nice handbag. Then just give the bag a quick rub and it turns into a suitcase.

[Big Grin]

[ 01. February 2010, 07:38: Message edited by: kankucho ]

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"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" – Dr. Carl Sagan
Kankucho Bird Blues

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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That was truly unforgiveable.

[Big Grin]

[Overused]

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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It's a keeper. [Biased]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged


 
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