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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Yet more crappy choruses, wonky worship-songs and horrible hymns
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
OK so it's Mother's Day here in Tunisia today so we were treated to this song in church. ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
My 13 yr old turned to me and said "That is sooo sickly!" The effect was somewhat enhanced by the mistyping of the words on the screen rendering it that Mum "cleans up my poo poos" as opposed to "fixes up my boo boos" ! Oh the joys of multi-cultural living where things can get severely mangled through linguistic misunderstandings!
At the end the bishop said (with a wicked sparkle in his eye) "Thanks for that very full job description of mothers!"
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Dear God in heaven ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
Quite apart from anything else, the word "crabby" here is associated with alcoholic ginger wine, pretty nasty stuff but which I'd be driven to if I had to listen to that crock of s**t ever again.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
AAAAARGHHH! It has become an earworm.
Serves me right for clicking. For the sake of your sanity DO NOT CLICK the above link.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Confession time.
Today, when I was supposed to be singing
I just wanna be a sheep Ba-aaa
I just wanna be a sheep Ba-aaa
I was actually singing
I just wanna be asleep Bah!
I just wanna be asleep Bah!
Anyone else not wanna be a sheep?
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
O. M. G.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Do please tell me, NEQ, that that was in some kind of small childrens' service.
What about 'I just wanna sheep- Ba aaa' (come yere, my fleecy lovely...)
[ 19. July 2015, 20:56: Message edited by: Albertus ]
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Arethosemyfeet
Shipmate
# 17047
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Do please tell me, NEQ, that that was in some kind of small childrens' service.
What about 'I just wanna sheep- Ba aaa' (come yere, my fleecy lovely...)
That's not a line that looks good with a Welsh location.
Posts: 2933 | From: Hebrides | Registered: Apr 2012
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
It was the song in the children's address part of the service. It's good to be a sheep, because sheep have A Shepherd. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
The chorus is:
I just wanna be a sheep - Ba-aah x4
and verses include:
I don't wanna be a Sadducee
I don't wanna be a Sadducee
Because Sadducees are Sad You See
I just wanna be a sheep - ba-aah.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
Oddly enough that song got mentioned in a sermon I heard today as one the minister did not like (the minister having raised sheep in 4-H was not too happy with the people as sheep metaphor in general).
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I just wanna be a sheep
The version we sing isn't quite as complicated as this version - imagine a dumbed down version of this.
Ba-aaah!
Ba-aaah!
[ 20. July 2015, 06:23: Message edited by: North East Quine ]
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
I just wanna be a sheep
The version we sing isn't quite as complicated as this version - imagine a dumbed down version of this.
Ba-aaah!
Ba-aaah!
Oh help! Losing the will to live .... to add insult to injury the word "wanna" keeps popping up arghhhhhhhhhh! can't anyone say "want to" anymore?
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Of course, you have to add "just" and "really" to the "wanna" (in any desired order) ....
[ 20. July 2015, 08:38: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Arethosemyfeet:
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Do please tell me, NEQ, that that was in some kind of small childrens' service.
What about 'I just wanna sheep- Ba aaa' (come yere, my fleecy lovely...)
That's not a line that looks good with a Welsh location.
Well, the boyo just can't help it (says Albertus, who is not actually Welsh, thus running the risk of incurring the ire of l'organist, who is...)
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I forgive you Albertus because I realise it was tongue in cheek - in fact I once gave an RC priest friend a Love Ewe inflatable (sure you can visualise!) for a significant birthday.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Haven't watched that video- couldn't bring myself to- but the lyrics I've read just say 'don't wanna be a Pharisee/ Saducee'. Is that really any more anti-semitic than saying e.g. 'don't wanna be a Calvinist/ Trad Cath' would be anti-Christian? (i.e. not really at all)?
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
Damn and blast, I made the mistake of looking at that ghastly video! How demeaning to expose children to that rubbish which has questionable theology. The best thing to do to sheep is to pop them in the oven for a roast lamb dinner.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Haven't watched that video- couldn't bring myself to- but the lyrics I've read just say 'don't wanna be a Pharisee/ Saducee'. Is that really any more anti-semitic than saying e.g. 'don't wanna be a Calvinist/ Trad Cath' would be anti-Christian? (i.e. not really at all)?
Yes they are - pharisees are called 'not fair' and 'hypocrites; Saducees are 'sad' people.
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My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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Garasu
Shipmate
# 17152
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Posted
Do they realise what "I want to be a sheep" implies to normal people?
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"Could I believe in the doctrine without believing in the deity?". - Modesitt, L. E., Jr., 1943- Imager.
Posts: 889 | From: Surrey Heath (England) | Registered: Jun 2012
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Haven't watched that video- couldn't bring myself to- but the lyrics I've read just say 'don't wanna be a Pharisee/ Saducee'. Is that really any more anti-semitic than saying e.g. 'don't wanna be a Calvinist/ Trad Cath' would be anti-Christian? (i.e. not really at all)?
Yes they are - pharisees are called 'not fair' and 'hypocrites; Saducees are 'sad' people.
Perhaps I haven't made myself clear. AIUI Pharisees and Saducees were specific sects or movements or groups within Judaism at the time of Christ- about both of whom, IIRC, He had some critical things to say, if we are to believe the evangelists. It's an utterly crap song, superficial even by the standards of the genre, but is saying mildly rude things about two particular subsets of the followers of a religion 2000 years ago the same as attacking that religion and its followers - or indeed the ethnic/cultural group, very broadly defined, of which they are members- as a whole? And if so, why?
[ 21. July 2015, 19:46: Message edited by: Albertus ]
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
Judaism today is the direct descendant of the pharisaical movementm - so to insult pharisees is to insult rabbis today and Jews in general.
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
posted by bib quote:
Damn and blast, I made the mistake of looking at that ghastly video! How demeaning to expose children to that rubbish which has questionable theology. The best thing to do to sheep is to pop them in the oven for a roast lamb dinner.
posted by Baptist Trainfan quote:
What, live and whole? You scoundrel!
No, no, no - what do you take us for?- Lightly killed, head and feet removed, shorn
- guts removed - set side for another time/dish
- stuffed with chopped rosemary, garlic and mint; thinly sliced mushrooms and wild rice, plus level dessertspoon of bruised saffron
- score outer skin, studding legs with rosemary sprigs and garlic
- either sew up or tie up really tight
- thread spit-bar through (support with cross-skewers if necessary) and suspend over fire pit
- turn regularly, basting with honeyed water (1/10 honey to water) as required
- after c2 hours remove from heat and place on tray to rest for 10 minutes
- carve and enjoy!
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Judaism today is the direct descendant of the pharisaical movementm - so to insult pharisees is to insult rabbis today and Jews in general.
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
L'Organist, that recipe sounds gorgeous, but the song....the song...it's nearly as good - I mean awful - as Mr. Cow.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I should have said that the recipe above was for a lamb - roughly 6 months old.
For larger animals, you need longer cooking time if you stuff: alternatively you open it out (spatchcock, in effect) and cook Argentinian style.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Or, get an Algerian to cook it for you. Best spit-roasted lamb I ever ate was cooked by an Algerian refugee, using something cobbled together from two old B&Q bbqs.
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
I just wish I hadn't watched the You Tube Clip. help: I don't even like David Jason or Only Fools .....
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351
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Posted
<Makes little list of people for whom send Doug Horley CDs would be just the perfect present>
It's fair to say that as inoffensive pap for kids, Mr Horley has some merit, and has actually penned some quite good stuff, although most of it is, I think, intended to be ephemeral and for a moment in time.
Lovely Jubbly will not be making the children's playlist at our place, though.
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Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)
Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009
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Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger:
I've just learned of the existence of this monstrosity....
Lovely Jubbly
I, um, I like that one. C'mon, the video's got a picture of a poo in a frame, what's not to love? ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
And it's better than this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRCuR727QR8
The actual song starts at about 3:30 in, once you've got past the handy introduction and dance tutorial.....
It's awful. But it does have a great key change.
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
That MUST be a p**s-take!
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106
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Posted
Nope. It is sung, with total seriousness, round our place....
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
From the obituary of Dr Colin Hand in today's Church Times :
quote:
He gave two particular services to music in the Church of England and elsewhere. The first was as a member of the group of highly qualified musicians gathered by Kevin Mayhew Ltd to edit the music of the New Anglican Edition of Hymns Old and New, which has become very widely used. Hand was particularly active in this, and made several hymns more singable.
!!!
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Carys
Ship's Celticist
# 78
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Posted
Start of term services have introduced me to "My lighthouse" by rend collective. It's one giant mixed metaphor. You don't follow lighthouses;in fact you keep your distance that's the point. Nor do they carry you to shore. I spoke to those who had chosen it afterwards and they admitted it was a mixed metaphor but felt it had enough in it to be worth singing. To me that requires leaving my brain at the door - of it doesn't make sense why sing it?
Carys
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O Lord, you have searched me and know me
You know when I sit and when I rise
Posts: 6896 | From: Bryste mwy na thebyg | Registered: May 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Not come across that song, but I have always thought that about using a lighthouse as a metaphor for Jesus or the church. You're supposed to stay away from lighthouses!
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Just read the lyrics. Seems trite but acceptable- apart from the lighthouse metaphor. You are my compass, my sextant, my GPS even- but not lighthouse. To be fair, i think lighthouses do serve as navigation points, but this is just lazy.
[ 05. September 2015, 08:42: Message edited by: Albertus ]
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Re My Lighthouse - if you follow the beam from a lighthouse you're 99.9% guaranteed to wreck yourself on something nasty. For example, if you followed in the beam from the South Bishop Lighthouse (not to be confused with the Bishop Rock) you'd end up in the group of rocks and islets known as the Bishops and Clerks, a very nasty set of rocks about 5 miles off St Davids - and if you steered round it you'd end up on The Bitches, an even nastier hazard inshore of Ramsey Island.
As for using lighthouses as navigational aids: yes, but only to a very limited extent because you need to know the beam pattern/timings which are all different.
The metaphor of "peace in a troubled sea" doesn't work either: a troubled sea has NO peace within it, only time brings about calmer waters.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
I suppose the serious point here is that this kind of song is preferred to, say, Lord Behold Us With Thy Blessing cheerfully thumped out on the piano, because some keen and damply grinning teacher thinks it is more 'relevant' and accessible to the kids. Problem is, it only takes one or two of the sharper ones to pick out the mess in the metaphor that we have identified here, and the message gets out that when you go into a church service you have to leave your brain at the door. Result: Christianity gets discredited.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
I suppose the serious point here is that this kind of song is preferred to, say, Lord Behold Us With Thy Blessing cheerfully thumped out on the piano, because some keen and damply grinning teacher thinks it is more 'relevant' and accessible to the kids. Problem is, it only takes one or two of the sharper ones to pick out the mess in the metaphor that we have identified here, and the message gets out that when you go into a church service you have to leave your brain at the door. Result: Christianity gets discredited.
I think there might be an excluded middle lurking in there somewhere.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
I suppose the serious point here is that this kind of song is preferred to, say, Lord Behold Us With Thy Blessing cheerfully thumped out on the piano, because some keen and damply grinning teacher thinks it is more 'relevant' and accessible to the kids. Problem is, it only takes one or two of the sharper ones to pick out the mess in the metaphor that we have identified here, and the message gets out that when you go into a church service you have to leave your brain at the door. Result: Christianity gets discredited.
News flash: You can't actually wash things in blood either. At least, not if you want them to come out whiter than snow.
I think if we start eliminating hymns and worship songs on the basis of metaphors that don't quite hold up, we would lose most of them.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
'My anchor holds within the veil' is a classic mixed metaphor.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Carys:
"My lighthouse" by rend collective. It's one giant mixed metaphor. You don't follow lighthouses;in fact you keep your distance that's the point. Nor do they carry you to shore.
Interesting discussion. I have friends who collect lighthouses (art) as symbols of being safe, being loved, peace, coming home.
Emotionally, it's the candle in the window. Because you see the light you are safe, the lighthouse keeper is assuring your safety, God is light, the strong sure beam of light in the dark night provides guidance.
That kind of thing.
What's missing is the concept that the light house exists to warn of serious danger, that you don't go to the lighthouse.
Culturally lighthouse has become a sentimental symbol of being safe, for those unaware of the danger reason lighthouses were invented. People go to a lighthouse as a tourist attraction.
The song is probably modern, written by someone with only a sentimental understanding of lighthouses.
But then, sentimentalism is what I dislike about many modern Christian songs. The old hymns have real life verses about pain and loss and death and unfairness and evil behaviors along with verses about God's love, compassion, victory, and our invitation to joy. A few sentimentals, fine, but in the "modern" service that's all we get. Lacks depth.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
LOL, I just wrote a (non-religious) song that uses the lighthouse metaphor too. The fact that it's a mixed metaphor makes it even better!
But to me, it relates to the idea of a sailor who's spent weeks at sea, finally sees the lighthouse, recognises the pattern and thinks: we're almost there. I don't know if this is at all realistic, but to me it makes sense.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106
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Posted
We do another Rend Collective song in church - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbdJXKqVgtg
It's alright, I suppose, and better than the lighthouse one (woah oh oh oh oh oh oh......) although there's a line about "We are your church, we are the hope on earth" which makes me laugh every time I play it.
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Jemima: do you attend a church with a large and exceptional music group? If not, how on earth is something like that clip handled by the average place ?
[ 17. September 2015, 09:14: Message edited by: L'organist ]
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Jolly Jape
Shipmate
# 3296
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
Jemima: do you attend a church with a large and exceptional music group? If not, how on earth is something like that clip handled by the average place ?
You can do it with a single guitar, if you have to - we do at housegroup. All you have to do is edit the link instrumentals .
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To those who have never seen the flow and ebb of God's grace in their lives, it means nothing. To those who have seen it, even fleetingly, even only once - it is life itself. (Adeodatus)
Posts: 3011 | From: A village of gardens | Registered: Sep 2002
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