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Source: (consider it) Thread: AS: Retreat for Atheists
Yorick

Infinite Jester
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Due to personal shit, I find myself suffering from severe acute psychoemotional disease, and I’m looking for some advice on the possibility of taking some time out from Life to collect myself, possibly on what is called a ‘spiritual retreat’. I sense it might be very beneficial for me to remove myself and be alone for a period of time, for the purposes of silent contemplation and reflection with the aim of sorting out my head.

I expect many of you will have been on retreat in order to connect with God, which I understand is its essential purpose, but as an atheist this would not be my intention. I wonder therefore if I’m barking up the right tree here. Would spiritual retreat be appropriate in principle for someone who is categorically not looking to connect with God, and, if it might be, could you offer any advice on how I should go about availing myself of some? If not, can you think of anything on those lines that might be suitable for heathens?

With thanks.

[ 25. May 2016, 19:41: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

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این نیز بگذرد

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Boogie

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Yes - I think we can be spiritually refreshed without any reference to God.

Painting does it for me.

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Garden. Room. Walk

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venbede
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Why not just book in for a few days to a monastery and bring a few good books? And say you want to be quiet?

"Retreat" means a lot of things nowadays. As I first experienced it, it meant going away with a group for a few nights, being silent the whole time, and listening to some addresses, having a talk with the retreat taker, and attending the eucharist and office, particularly if it was at a monastery.

Nowadays, a retreat can mean just a weekend away with discussion groups and activities. I'm sure people can benefit, but it's not the same. I'd rather go to a monastery on my own.

A retreat without prayer is a bit like a meal without food, frankly, but a time just to be still with reflection and contemplation doesn't mean accepting belief in God.

I find the reflection arises out of the stillness, rather than being done to order.

At any rate, good luck. (Where are you, ie in the UK or elsewhere?)

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Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.

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Yorick

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[xp]

Fishing does it for me, usually, but I feel the need for a profounder (and longer) escape from Life.

[ 15. May 2012, 08:31: Message edited by: Yorick ]

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این نیز بگذرد

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Yorick

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quote:
Originally posted by venbede:
Why not just book in for a few days to a monastery ?

Because I'm an atheist, and I wonder about propriety.

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این نیز بگذرد

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Chorister

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I'm off to Gladstone's Library (formerly St. Deiniol's Library). It's essentially a large library of books set in tranquil Welsh countryside. You can do what you like there - no organised activities - but there is plenty of time and space to sit, and think, and read, and explore the countryside. (Of course, there are organised courses if you prefer, but I don't.)

Another Retreat Centre, this time in Devon, offers reading weeks which are entirely self-guided, as well as more structured courses. I like the Sheldon house rules which say 'No clergy shop talk, no ministering to other guests or seeking help from other guests' which should guarantee a pester-free week!

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LeRoc

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quote:
Yorick: Because I'm an atheist, and I wonder about propriety.
I know of number of monasteries that would receive an atheist for some time of retreat.

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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Bob Two-Owls
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I used to book myself into a university for a week during the holidays and wrangle a readers ticket for the library (which usually stays open for staff and research). I'm not sure if you can still do this but it might be worth a try.

These days I tend to book into a Youth Hostel for a few days and spend my time reading and walking. Not always very peaceful though.

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IngoB

Sentire cum Ecclesia
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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
Because I'm an atheist, and I wonder about propriety.

Most Christian retreats - that have no explicit programme - are basically "opt in", or at least so it has been wherever I've asked. (I've not been on a Christian retreat yet, but I've been keeping an eye on the possibilities.) The level of engagement with the religious life that is happening there is basically up to you. Also, practically all of that allows participation at some "non-committed" level. For example, if the monks pray the Liturgy of the Hours, you will generally be welcome to sit in and listen whether you pray along with them or not. (And this may well be just the sort of "calming" experience that you are looking for.)

The Retreat Association is one source for finding available retreats.

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They’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipp’d for lying; and sometimes I am whipp’d for holding my peace. - The Fool in King Lear

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Yorick

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Thank you all.

I appreciate that Christian retreat centres might be willing to cater for those who have no Christian faith (and they must be very used to people who do, but who for various reasons are struggling with their faith), but what about positively atheistic people like me, who actively believe there is no God? Although I feel comfortable enough involving myself in religious society, I wonder if religious society would be very comfortable catering for someone who actively disbelieves in their mission, as it were. I could not in all conscience stay in a monastery (without ‘taking part’ or ‘opting in’) if this required any false pretence.

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این نیز بگذرد

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Zacchaeus
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Google retreats, I did so last year to find a CHristian retreat and found some that were not Christian
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LeRoc

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quote:
Yorick: I appreciate that Christian retreat centres might be willing to cater for those who have no Christian faith (...), but what about positively atheistic people like me, who actively believe there is no God?
I guess it depends of the venue. At least in Holland, I know some places that have no problem with that. They actively encourage atheists to come to retreat at their place, and wouldn't push anything on them.

PS Good luck with your personal shit.

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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seasick

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I think many monasteries would be happy to receive an atheist seeking a place of quiet for reflection with no implication of faith or commitment. If you try and persuade the abbot there's no God, you might find yourself less welcome but beyond that I doubt there would be any problem at all: I am sure you would be most welcome. That said, I think I might in your situation go for somewhere like Gladstone's library where the religious aspects may be a little less in your face.

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We believe there is, and always was, in every Christian Church, ... an outward priesthood, ordained by Jesus Christ, and an outward sacrifice offered therein. - John Wesley

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Earwig

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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
I appreciate that Christian retreat centres might be willing to cater for those who have no Christian faith (and they must be very used to people who do, but who for various reasons are struggling with their faith), but what about positively atheistic people like me, who actively believe there is no God?

I'm a regular at Holy Rood House in North Yorkshire and I'm sure they wouldn't give two hoots. I've been there when other atheists have been visiting.

I always tell people - you're not expected to go to prayer, but if you don't turn up for home-made cake in the afternoon eyebrows might be raised. [Big Grin]

There's grace before meals, but other than that, you wouldn't need to take part in anything overtly Christian.

They also have councillors (normal ones, not Christian councillors) and therapists there, so if you wanted to talk stuff over you could. There's also an art room, art therapy, amazing gardens looked over by Phoebe the goat, and chances for massage - it's a good place to go to get away from the world and also be gentle with yourself.

[ 15. May 2012, 10:28: Message edited by: Earwig ]

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IngoB

Sentire cum Ecclesia
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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
I could not in all conscience stay in a monastery (without ‘taking part’ or ‘opting in’) if this required any false pretence.

Firstly, the more of a true monastery it is, the less of a problem this will be. Because, well, the monks are basically busy being monks then. So, to take a random example (from a quick google): this is typical. You get a simple room in the guest wing. You eat food with the monks. You can attend when they have their communal prayer, if you wish. Likewise, if you want to talk to someone, you can contact the guest master to get an appointment. Otherwise, you are expected to be quiet in order to not disturb the monks or other guests. That's it. (Oh, in this particular case you pay nothing for all this. Though donations are welcome, and they expect you to join in some community chores. Probably washing up dishes, perhaps working in the garden, etc.)

Secondly, in any proper retreat place there will be a contact person. Among Benedictines, it will be the guest master (welcoming guests is in the Rule of St Benedict, it's an ancient tradition). Simply ask them if they have a problem with your atheism, if you are worried about that.

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They’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipp’d for lying; and sometimes I am whipp’d for holding my peace. - The Fool in King Lear

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Poptart22
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I've been looking for an opportunity like this as well. Now I just need to find myself a convent or something similar. I want quiet and I want to be away from technology and being perpetually available. My aunt died waiting for a second transplant so I no longer have a need to keep my phone on my all the time.

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Dormouse

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I've just googled "Non religious retreats" and come up with a couple of pleasant looking options... I've not been to any so can't give any recommendations, but this one in Wales looks nice. But I don't know if you're in the US, UK or elsewhere in the world. So maybe Wales is no good for you.

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40 days, 40 reflections, 40 acts of generosity. Join the #40acts challenge for #Lent and let's start a movement. www.40acts.org.uk

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*Leon*
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Worth Abbey have been involved in a couple of TV programs taking 'ordinary people' (which the TV producers ensured always included at least 1 committed atheist) and letting them experience some aspects of monastic life. I noticed they do retreats that are designed for fans of the programs. The Big Silence in 2010 was based on the premise that many people would benefit massively from increasing the amount of silence in their lives. Everyone on the program did. Some made big lifestyle changes as a result of the experience, but none converted to Christianity.

So they'd certainly be geared up for atheists. Details here .

Although I'm sure you'd be fine anywhere else. If you go on an ordinary retreat at a monastery I'd suggest sitting quietly at the back of the services; there's an extraordinary peace you gain from just being in the same room as monks.

Buddhists are quite into retreats too. They might be worth looking into, since they don't have a god. I'm not quite sure what happens on a typical Buddhist retreat.

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Chorister

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The ones you probably would want to stay clear of are those which advertise themselves as 'Christian Holidays'. I went on one in Cornwall where the brochure said you didn't have to attend their prayers and services, but they spent the whole time trying to blackmail me into going, which got rather embarrassing. By the end of the week, they weren't speaking to me. (I think the leaders were new, and felt they'd failed in some way if they didn't get all their guests to participate.)

But the two retreat centres I mentioned above aren't like that at all - the question of whether you have faith or not simply doesn't arise. It's your business. They are simply there to provide hospitality to all guests, without discrimination.

I guess you could always ask the question before booking if you are worried.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Yorick

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Thank you for the encouraging suggestions. I’m encouraged that my atheism need not necessarily be a problem with seeking retreat in a Christian place. Although there are many lovely hotels in Southern England, I’m thinking specifically about finding a place that offers deep peace and tranquillity where I could isolate myself from the world and sit in silence and solitude for a few days, with no distractions. I think silence is what I need, and Benedictine monastic retreat therefore seems right. I will look into this further.

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این نیز بگذرد

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LeRoc

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quote:
Chorister: By the end of the week, they weren't speaking to me.
Finally you got the quiet that you were looking for [Biased]

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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Evensong
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[Votive] [Votive]

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a theological scrapbook

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infinite_monkey
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Another one who's spent time at a Buddhist center and found it very suitable for this.

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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.

--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
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Ariel
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quote:
Originally posted by *Leon*:
Worth Abbey have been involved in a couple of TV programs taking 'ordinary people' (which the TV producers ensured always included at least 1 committed atheist) and letting them experience some aspects of monastic life. I noticed they do retreats that are designed for fans of the programs. The Big Silence in 2010 was based on the premise that many people would benefit massively from increasing the amount of silence in their lives. Everyone on the program did. Some made big lifestyle changes as a result of the experience, but none converted to Christianity.

I was going to mention them. There’s a difference between booking yourself in somewhere quiet and peaceful, like a hotel, where nobody might talk to you but people come and go and get on with cheerful, secular lives in their own way (which may involve your being woken up by noisy drunks in the small hours), and monastic peace and quiet, which has a depth of its own.

I haven’t been on the sort of retreat where you stay somewhere for a few days, but my experience has been that monastic orders can be surprisingly realistic, friendly and helpful if you need someone to talk things over with. It doesn’t mean you necessarily get a sales pitch.

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Chorister

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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Chorister: By the end of the week, they weren't speaking to me.
Finally you got the quiet that you were looking for [Biased]
But by then it was time to go home!

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Pre-cambrian
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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
Thank you for the encouraging suggestions. I’m encouraged that my atheism need not necessarily be a problem with seeking retreat in a Christian place. Although there are many lovely hotels in Southern England, I’m thinking specifically about finding a place that offers deep peace and tranquillity where I could isolate myself from the world and sit in silence and solitude for a few days, with no distractions. I think silence is what I need, and Benedictine monastic retreat therefore seems right. I will look into this further.

Caldey Island may be worth investigating. An island off the Pembrokeshire coast is about as remote as you could wish for, and the monks are Trappist so they couldn't try to convert you even if they wanted to [Smile] .

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Jengie jon

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If you are prepared to self cater, then there are a number of very remote cottages in Scotland for holiday let. A good guide is those that like this one say they are accessible along tracks, or those on largely uninhabited islands such as this. The snag is if you drive yourself nuts when it is just you, there is no escapte with these sort of places.

Jengie

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venbede
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I like staying at West Malling (Anglican Benedictine nuns). You stay in a guest house in nice grounds. But what I really like is monastic liturgy, so that may not be for you.

There's a whole lot of New Age sort of places offering "retreats" on "Get in touch with your chakras" and so on.

I'm sure again many find them helpful. But it sounds like you are looking for space and with your beliefs, may find their diffuse spirituality more invasive than orthodox Christianity.

Any rate good luck with your search (both outward and inward, if you see what I mean).

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Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.

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Doublethink.
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I'd recommend Woodbrooke , you can do a structured course (they vary in content immensley have a gander at the brochure), or you can just stay. The rooms are nice and the food is excellent. You would be asked to participate in a brief silence before meals, but thre would be no other religious input you couldn't opt in or out of unless you do an overtly religious course.

Nice grounds and is around the corner from the chocolate factory.


Eta forkot to add, there is a library, but focused on Quaker study.

[ 16. May 2012, 07:21: Message edited by: Think² ]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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On the subject of Buddhist retreats there's Samye Ling in Eskdalemuir.

Though I did come back from a weekend there with a case of Meditator's Hirple (cross-legged is not for me).

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quetzalcoatl
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I know about Zen-type retreats, but they are very tough physically and mentally, so maybe not right for you. They certainly drill down into the nature of life, self, others, and so on. But they tend to start at 6am, and have a rigorous system of meditation sessions, going on all day (with breaks!).

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Jengie jon

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Woodbrooke is good, hospitable people, basic rooms but internet and library, lovely grounds (if you are more sucessful than me in finding a way into them.

Warning: however it may be an idea to check who else is staying. I once stayed with a party of forty Japanese students who were studying Quakerism at school. Fine for me I was there for B & B prior to a computing course, but may be somewhat irritating if on retreat.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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Evangeline
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I know of a few health retreats near Sydney that allow for quiet contemplation, exercise (if you want it) and provide meals etc. It might be worth investigating whether such things are close to you.
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Anselmina
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# 3032

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quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
If you are prepared to self cater, then there are a number of very remote cottages in Scotland for holiday let. A good guide is those that like this one say they are accessible along tracks, or those on largely uninhabited islands such as this. The snag is if you drive yourself nuts when it is just you, there is no escapte with these sort of places.

Jengie

I do this from time to time. I'm off to a remote coastal cottage in a month's time, just me and the dog, where I intend to do some reflection and some serious chilling.
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Bob Two-Owls
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quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
I know about Zen-type retreats, but they are very tough physically and mentally

Centres such as Samye Ling and the Tara Centre (dodgy Buddhism but good place for a retreat) usually offer no-strings-attached retreats where you don't have to do anything Buddhist at all. You might miss the inclusive breakfast though if you are a late riser.
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Yerevan
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I've been on retreat in a Benedictine monastery (Glenstal Abbey in Ireland to be exact) and I don't recall them asking anything at all about my beliefs. I was welcome to attend the daily offices but there was no expectation or pressure. IIRC Benedictines have a duty of hospitality to anyone who asks for it (the one I stayed in didn't expect any payment - there was a box you could leave money in if you wished). There was an amazing sense of peace there and I would recommend it to anyone whatever their beliefs.
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Yorick

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Thank you all for your kind and supportive advice. I have applied for a few days accomodation at one of the places recommended on this thread, and will let you know if I'm to be accepted. In my letter I disclosed my atheistic beliefs, so I hope this won't be an issue.

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این نیز بگذرد

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Yerevan
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Hope you find it helpful wherever you go.
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Yerevan
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Just wanted to add that I wouldn't necessarily let the religiosity put you off dropping into some of the daily offices if you do go to a monastery. IME they have a calm rather timeless atmosphere which is possibly helpful whatever your beliefs.
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Ariel
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Good luck Yorick. Honesty is the best approach and they'll appreciate that. Hope it works out for you.
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Squibs
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quote:
Originally posted by *Leon*:
Worth Abbey have been involved in a couple of TV programs taking 'ordinary people' (which the TV producers ensured always included at least 1 committed atheist) and letting them experience some aspects of monastic life. I noticed they do retreats that are designed for fans of the programs. The Big Silence in 2010 was based on the premise that many people would benefit massively from increasing the amount of silence in their lives. Everyone on the program did. Some made big lifestyle changes as a result of the experience, but none converted to Christianity.

So they'd certainly be geared up for atheists. Details here .

Although I'm sure you'd be fine anywhere else. If you go on an ordinary retreat at a monastery I'd suggest sitting quietly at the back of the services; there's an extraordinary peace you gain from just being in the same room as monks.

Buddhists are quite into retreats too. They might be worth looking into, since they don't have a god. I'm not quite sure what happens on a typical Buddhist retreat.

The various Worth Abbey programmes were very enjoyable. The concept behind The Big Silence, I suspect, would be right up Yorik's street. It's certainly worth Youtubing it.

[ 16. May 2012, 21:47: Message edited by: Squibs ]

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Graven Image
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I have often been on retreat here in the states, which has included the ability to be on private retreat in a cabin with a kitchen where I can prepare my own meals if I do not wish to eat with the community. Other times I have been on retreat where the community understands that their ministry is to offer hospitality. They invite but do not pressure me to take part in what ever activity they have that I wish to join. I have sometimes just joined them for meals, where I felt most welcome other times I have joined them in prayer as well. I think the clue is to say you want a private retreat.
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kankucho
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Yorick, if I'm interpreting 'psychoemotional disease' correctly, solitude isn't really the best position to put yourself into right now. Some form of activity that gets you thinking of and interacting with people and things beyond your own psychoemotional boundaries would be much more beneficial, I think.

Personally, I have a non-theistic philosophical structure that gets me through emotional dark patches, which is well documented in my contributions to these boards and linked to in my profile. [evangelism] You might want to look into that - though despite Buddhism's popular image, my particular brand doesn't scuttle off to retreats in any big way. Problems are dealt with where they occur, not sitting under trees. [/evangelism]

If that doesn't appeal to you, something that kept me sane during an extended spell when the world wasn't giving me the livelihood I felt it owed me was joining a group of conservation volunteers and going into the woods to do some hard physical work.
Here's the organisation I did most of that with, but there are several others worth investigating.

Love, light & peace to you.

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"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" – Dr. Carl Sagan
Kankucho Bird Blues

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Jahlove
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http://www.thegoodretreatguide.com/

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Yorick

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I’ve been offered a place for several days of private retreat at a Cistercian monastery, in the near future. This is incredibly kind in the particular circumstances, in which special accommodation has had to be made for me.

Thank you for the advice and encouragement on this thread.

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این نیز بگذرد

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LeRoc

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Good luck, and make sure you don't come out as a Christian [Biased]

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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SvitlanaV2
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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Good luck, and make sure you don't come out as a Christian [Biased]

But presumably this kind of retreat was chosen because it was run by Christians? Otherwise, why not just go to stay in a very quiet hotel in the countryside?
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Ariel
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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Good luck, and make sure you don't come out as a Christian [Biased]

It's OK. They're Cistercians, they won't be speaking to him.
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Pre-cambrian
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quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Good luck, and make sure you don't come out as a Christian [Biased]

But presumably this kind of retreat was chosen because it was run by Christians? Otherwise, why not just go to stay in a very quiet hotel in the countryside?
Well no. If you read through the thread you will see that, due to Yorick's atheism and his concerns about whether it would be proper for an atheist to stay for a while in a religious house, this retreat location was chosen more despite the fact that it is run by Christians.

A retreat house run by almost any religion will be different to a very quiet hotel not just because of the religious atmosphere but simply because it is not commercial. The atmosphere of even a very quiet hotel can shift quite significantly depending on who are the guests at the time.

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"We cannot leave the appointment of Bishops to the Holy Ghost, because no one is confident that the Holy Ghost would understand what makes a good Church of England bishop."

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SvitlanaV2
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quote:
Originally posted by Pre-cambrian:
quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Good luck, and make sure you don't come out as a Christian [Biased]

But presumably this kind of retreat was chosen because it was run by Christians? Otherwise, why not just go to stay in a very quiet hotel in the countryside?
Well no. If you read through the thread you will see that, due to Yorick's atheism and his concerns about whether it would be proper for an atheist to stay for a while in a religious house, this retreat location was chosen more despite the fact that it is run by Christians.
I've read the thread, but I don't understand your last sentence. Yorick's post was about how to find a religious retreat centre that would be suitable for an atheist. My comment is simply that a non-religious hotel might be just as suitable, but without the awkwardness of having to interact with religious people doing their relgious stuff.

quote:

A retreat house run by almost any religion will be different to a very quiet hotel not just because of the religious atmosphere but simply because it is not commercial. The atmosphere of even a very quiet hotel can shift quite significantly depending on who are the guests at the time.

This is a very reasonable comment. A monastery might be quieter than a hotel on a busy road with families and 18-35 party-goers bustling in and out! But I'm sure there must be non-religious hotels that specialise in offering a quiet, peaceful experience. They're probably far more expensive than going to a monastery, though! So money probably does come into it.
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