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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Circus: Christmas is banned! (Page 0)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Circus: Christmas is banned!
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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...Santa's still wearing the Coca-Cola outfit.

The National Trust has banned Christmas because...

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
macdonde
Apprentice
# 9062

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...Santa's reindeer constitute an introduction of a non-native species with a devastating impact on Britain's natural environment.

The Obama Administration Has Banned Christmas! Because...

[ 10. December 2009, 22:02: Message edited by: macdonde ]

--------------------
Amor Vincit Omnia

Posts: 38 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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They respect their leader's cultural heritage, no matter how far back they had to dig to find it.


My greengrocer has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Loveheart

Blue-scarved menace
# 12249

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he is worried about piling on the pounds, and he isn't allowed to operate in pounds, only kilos!

Jedward have banned Christmas because...

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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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There can be only one star of the show, and it isn't either of them.


Simon Cowell has banned Christmas...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Loveheart

Blue-scarved menace
# 12249

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because he isn't the centre of attention

Donald Trump has banned Christmas because...

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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Angel Wrestler
Ship's Hipster
# 13673

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getting out in the wind and snow messes up his comb-over.

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer has banned Christmas because

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The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
(unknown)

Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged
Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134

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Two weeks of carols doesn't leave time to sing Shine Jesus Shine.

Kim Jong-il has banned Christmas because ....

FD

Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857

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...he does not mind his people going without food. But his hills denuded of trees are another matter.

The Irish have banned Christmas because ...

--------------------
A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509

Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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...they are pouting because St. Patrick doesn't get to be Father Christmas.

Jerry Springer has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134

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he thinks that the Heavenly Host is a competing trash TV compère.

Kermit the Frog has banned Christmas because ...

FD

Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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It's not easy being green at Christmas!

The British Board of Film Censors have banned Christmas because...

AG

--------------------
"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

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all those cheesy Christmas flicks are making them feel ill.

Bob Geldof has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857

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... he resents not being the centre of attention for once.

The Police have banned Christmas because...

--------------------
A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509

Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
andythehat

Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399

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..because Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic!

(D'oh, groan...)

Silvio Berlusconi has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!

Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Someone might throw a model crib at him.


Gordon Brown has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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MP's have been putting the trees and decorations on expenses.

Bernie Ecclestone has banned Christmas because . . .

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
alienfromzog

Ship's Alien
# 5327

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He holds the worldwide franchise and no one has offered him enough money to be allowed to hold their own individual Christmas events.

Current prices start from £100,000 for a family of four going up to £1,000,000 for a large family gathering.

Jesus has banned Christmas because

--------------------
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]

An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)

Posts: 2150 | From: Zog, obviously! Straight past Alpha Centauri, 2nd planet on the left... | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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...he doesn't want to be reminded of his age. After 2,000 you might feel a little tetchy about it, too.

Steven Spielberg has banned Christmas because...

[ 17. December 2009, 08:08: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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The only Christmas list anyone gave him was Schindlers!

The Potato Marketing Board have banned Christmas because...

AG

--------------------
"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
alienfromzog

Ship's Alien
# 5327

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everybody knows that roast potatoes cooked in goose fat are the best by far and a large number of people have been trying goose instead of turkey this year. The board fear that if too many people have roast potatoes in goose fat they will not want 'lesser' potatoes for the rest of the year.

Ship of Fools has cancelled Christmas because...

[Eek!] [Eek!] [Eek!]

--------------------
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]

An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)

Posts: 2150 | From: Zog, obviously! Straight past Alpha Centauri, 2nd planet on the left... | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Hiro's Leap

Shipmate
# 12470

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...it's too commercialised and pagan for Real Christians to celebrate, and the Ship nothing if not a Christian Website.

The Wild Things (from Where The Wild Things Are) have banned Christmas because...

Posts: 3418 | From: UK, OK | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged
Celtic Knotweed
Shipmate
# 13008

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...it's been tamed.

The Metropolitan Police have banned (photographing) Christmas because...

[edited for spelling, despite the spell-checker!]

[ 17. December 2009, 22:53: Message edited by: Celtic Knotweed ]

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My little sister is riding 100k round London at night to raise money for cancer research donations here if you feel so inclined.

Posts: 664 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged
Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857

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... because Santa's reindeer notoriously comply with neither the speed limit nor the new exhaust fume legislation.

Liverpool FC have banned Christmas because...

--------------------
A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509

Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Loveheart

Blue-scarved menace
# 12249

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they don't think its much Kop, tend to get as high as a Kuyt, and have a completely Torres time of it. Plus it'll probably Reina. Benitez is a man outstanding in his Anfield though.

Either that or its banned because the team is doing SO badly, they don't deserve any time off to celebrate, but should spend the day practising instead!

Thomas the Tank Engine has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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His author (A clergyman) was always busy on Christmas Day, and Thomas felt neglected.


The Queen has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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One has said it all every Christmas after dinner and everything is so AWFUL now, how can one be positive or inspirational for one's subjects any more? I mean Jesus Christ Charles, when are you going to smother one with a pillow and take this crap on?

The magi have banned Christmas because...

Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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They are expected to make huge commutes every Christmas and are never even allowed to return the same way they arrived by.

My internet provider has banned Christmas because

--------------------
A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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Because they think they need more profits. And people listening to prophets diminishes theirs.


PeteC has banned Christmas this year

--------------------
Even more so than I was before

Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Because it has lost its meaning since his recent conversion to agnosticism.


Turkeys have banned Christmas...

[ 19. December 2009, 09:50: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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....because they're fed up of all that Gobbling.

The Grimethorpe Colliery Band has banned Christmas because....

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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There's no Grimethorpe Colliery any more.

Simon Cowell has banned Christmas because...

Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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He can't vote for the main chracter.


Boris Johnson has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351

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... he keeps getting into trouble with other people's stockings.

Terry Wogan has banned Christmas because ...

--------------------
Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)

Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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He can't get up in time for breakfast any more.

The "Morning Star" has banned Chrisymas because ...

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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The Star went into action long before it was launched.


Pope Benedict has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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...the Christmas message of good news is compromised by secular elements such as Marxism.

Hollywood has banned Christmas...

--------------------
we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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like, I mean, it's like, totally, this like, religious thing, and I'm like so not like religious, but like totally spir-a-tual!? So, like, this year, I'm like totally doing this like Buddhist earth-mother reintegration? That's like what Christmas is, right?


Marion Barry banned Christmas because . . .

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Loveheart

Blue-scarved menace
# 12249

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there was no room for him at the inn either

John Rutter has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Traveller
Shipmate
# 1943

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not enough people were singing his Christmas music.

Carol has banned Christmas because ...

--------------------
I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live:
I will praise my God while I have my being.
Psalm 104 v.33

Posts: 1037 | From: Wherever the car has stopped at the moment! | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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..of embarrassment at having ousted plainchant from the forefront of the music.


Blitzen has banned Christmas because...

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Angel Wrestler
Ship's Hipster
# 13673

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quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
..of embarrassment at having ousted plainchant from the forefront of the music.


Blitzen has banned Christmas because...

He got fed up with being last and looking at all those reindeer heineys (and smelling the emissions) every Christmas.

Tiger Woods has banned Christmas because ...

--------------------
The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
(unknown)

Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged
Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169

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... every time Santa says, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" it feels like an accusation.

Mattel (toy company) has banned Christmas because...

Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Elfin safety has vetoed all their products.

The Head Chorister has banned Christmas because....

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857

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because the cast of the show hasn't changed in 2000 years.

Snow men have banned Christmas because...

--------------------
A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509

Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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They've had enough of their snowballs being thrown around.

The clergy have banned Christmas because

Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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... they just can't cope with the shock of seeing their churches full for a change!

Eurostar has banned Christmas because ...

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857

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...after some minor delays - sorry if this has caused anyone any inconvenience - they found a Christmas tree had grown on the tracks.

Ann Summers has cancelled Christmas because...

Some people are playing off the Ship. playing off board! Is that allowed?

--------------------
A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509

Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
andythehat

Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399

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You can't go out looking like that, you'll catch your death of cold....

The BCTGA has banned Christmas because...

( BCTGA website. But of course, you knew who they were anyway... ) [Snigger]

--------------------
Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!

Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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The carbon footprint was too great.

My cats have banned Christmas because

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged



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