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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Change-a-letter Bible
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Inspired by a discussion on another thread I have discovered the following little known Bible story:
'Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure lard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair'.
Simple, see? Take a Bible verse, change one letter, and see what you get.
[ 21. February 2010, 12:41: Message edited by: Imaginary Friend ]
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
(Do resulting necessary corrections in grammar count?)
Blessed are the geeks, for they shall inherit the earth.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Two letters? But it's too good not to count. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
Too much like the first one I guess, but
"Taste and see that the lard is good"
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
And Peter said unto him, Aeneas, Jesus Christ maketh thee whore. Arise, and make thy bed.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, "He has a lemon".
(Matthew 11:18)
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
'This fellow welcomes dinners and eats with them'
(Luke 15:2)
Well quite.
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Evening and morning and at noon I will play.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
Luke 1:26-27 -
In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mark.
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
Luke 1:26-27 -
In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mark.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
1 John 3.16:
We know love by this, that he laid down his wife for us—and we ought to lay down our wives for one another.
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
1 Corinthians 7.28:
But if you marry, you do not win, and if a virgin marries, she does not win.
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
This thread is such a good antidote to Chapter & Worse!
Romans 6.7 -
For whoever has died is freed from gin.
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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goperryrevs
Shipmtae
# 13504
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Posted
This is too easy!
Gen 3:8
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was wanking in the garden.
Ex 23:26
None will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life spank.
Luke 23:32
Two other men, bott criminals, were also led out with him to be executed.
Luke 19:9
Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this mouse".
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"Keep your eye on the donut, not on the hole." - David Lynch
Posts: 2098 | From: Midlands | Registered: Mar 2008
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
Any one of the 10 Commandments that has the word "not" in it, change "not" to "now". Everybody does that anyway....
M
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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fletcher christian
Mutinous Seadog
# 13919
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Posted
The birth of Jesus happened in this bay......
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'God is love insaturable, love impossible to describe'
Staretz Silouan
Posts: 5235 | From: a prefecture | Registered: Jul 2008
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was gop.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
One for the Narnia fans:
The Lord delivers them and keeps them clive
(Ps 41:2)
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
Mark 1 v 34
Jesus heals mary
And Jesus healed mary who had various diseases.
Later.....
Mark 2 v3
Jesus heals a parylytic
Some men came, bringing to him a parylytic, carried by four men.... he said to him Son your gins are forgiven.
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by fletcher christian:
The birth of Jesus happened in this bay......
No no no no no. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
"The birth of Jesus happened in this hay."
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
News just in .... Jesus heals a blond man.
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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Nunzia
Shipmate
# 4766
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MiceElf:
News just in .... Jesus heals a blond man.
...and a dear man, and he makes the lamb to walk.
And now abideth faith, hope and clarity.
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Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
(A race between cars by two competing American auto makers)
Behold, the whirlwind of the Ford goes forth with Fury.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MiceElf:
News just in .... Jesus heals a blond man.
Obviously another case of the blond leading the blond.
Although I would like to see the story of Jesus healing a man born bland.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Well, if not bland then perhaps flat:
And as you go, preach, saying, The kingdom of leaven is at hand.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
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Posted
1 Timothy 5 v23, not so much flat as flatulent:
a little wind because of your stomach
FD
[ 25. August 2009, 04:16: Message edited by: Foaming Draught ]
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Many wafers cannot quench love.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Alaric the Goth
Shipmate
# 511
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Two letters? But it's too good not to count.
More than two letters ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) :
‘Blessed are the meerkat for they shall inherit the earth’
Simples!
Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
Devotion can go a bit far?
1 Cor 15:58
Always give yourself fully to the dork of the Lord
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
Very useful at church bring and share:
Luke 10:42
Mary has chosen the better tart, which shall not be taken away from her
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
Ezekiel 18:31 Cast away the detestable thingy
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your flans succeed.
Psalm 20:4
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
If we say we have no gin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Nunzia
Shipmate
# 4766
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Posted
I am a wall, and my breasts are like towels.
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Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not rant.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Nunzia
Shipmate
# 4766
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Posted
The Lord loveth a cheerful diver.
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Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
I'm sure 1 Cor 13 wouldn't be so popular at weddings if it began...
And now I will show you the most excellent lay.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
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Posted
Prefiguring Darwinian controversies of two millenia later:
Jesus found a young monkey and sat upon it
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Australians all let us ring Joyce
For she is young and free
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
I'm sure 1 Cor 13 wouldn't be so popular at weddings if it began...
And now I will show you the most excellent lay.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
The question about Farting.
Mark 2 v 18.
Some people came to Jesus and asked him " Why is it that the disciples of John the Baptist and the disciples of the Pharisees fart, but yours do not?
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Then I saw in the right hand of him who shat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MiceElf:
The question about Farting.
Mark 2 v 18.
Some people came to Jesus and asked him " Why is it that the disciples of John the Baptist and the disciples of the Pharisees fart, but yours do not?
Must be all that honey and wild locusts!
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
for anyone who's ever been cornered by the IT team at the office Xmas party:
So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and inflicted loathesome bores on Job ...
(Job 2:7)
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
The origins of Star Wars:
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Darth.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
I need a re-fill.
Give ear to my words O Lord, and consider my medication.
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's. 2:14
My beloved is like a dope.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
While we're on Song of Songs:
My lover speaks; he says to me: Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, and come! For see, the winter is past, the pains are over and gone.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Rev 2:10
Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of lice.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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