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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Today I consign to hell--II
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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The original TICTH thread was getting too long, so it has been archived.

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to consign to hell right now, because after yesterday, they're all dead.

But at least I have begun the thread.

[ 10. March 2003, 01:44: Message edited by: Erin ]

Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
George Spigot

Outcast
# 253

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T.I.C.T.H. Mobile Phones used in public places where you should be able to relax.
Trains I can understand. If your trying to meet up with someone then fair enough. But cinemas, theatres etc. Today I was sat in a pub happily listening to someone give a talk on Derby history. Cue unnecessary loud mobile ring tone from table behind followed by fifteen minutes of talk.

I've had it up to here but so far have resisted complaining to anyone's face about it. So if any offenders are reading this then will you kindly SHUT THE F**K UP!

BURN! BURN! AH HA HA HA

p.s. goto NEWS FOR MOBILE PHONE USERS for more details.


Posts: 1625 | From: Derbyshire - England | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Qestia

Marshwiggle
# 717

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What on earth do you mean, "trains you can understand." Every train conversation I've heard is always, "Hi, I'm on the train, I'll be home soon. Goodbye." Some people, I'm not making this up...update their friends with EVERY STOP! "Hi, I'm at Park Street, on the train. Oh, now I'm at Downtown Crossing" except those stops are underground so they CAN'T call on their little phones there...but fortunately They're planning on installing special lines so soon you will be able to phone from anywhere on the subway! Hooray!

However I would like to reserve a special place in Hell (if I'm allowed) for people who phone from stores, i.e. video stores, "Hi, I'm at the video store, what do you want to see? Well, they have [reads off the names of EVERY title].

--------------------
I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.


Posts: 1213 | From: Boston | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
strathclydezero

# 180

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TICTH - people who can't stand me using my mobile phone - and people who don't have one.

--------------------
All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov

Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
strathclydezero

# 180

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TICTH - people who refer to the Newcastle area as 'the north east' - when in fact it is 'the north east of england'.

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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov

Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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TICTH people who offended by the fact that I do not have a mobile phone. Why should they dictate how I live my life?
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
KevT
unregistered


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Today I consign to Hell the person that stole my coldframe from the garden a couple of days back (as well as helping himself to stuff from all my neighbours gardens). May his garden be invaded by a plague of slugs leaving it a wasteland of slime-trails.


KevT.


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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2

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TICTH the new breed of mobile phone users: the ones who let the phone ring, check the caller ID, and then don't answer the phone. If you're NOT going to answer it, turn the f'ing thing OFF.

I don't have a mobile phone, I will never have a mobile phone. As far as I can tell, the only people who are important enough to own a mobile phone are transplant, cardiac and neurosurgeons. If people need to talk to me that badly, they can send a helicopter to find me.

--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.


Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
If people need to talk to me that badly, they can send a helicopter to find me.


Brilliant!

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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quote:
If you're NOT going to answer it, turn the f'ing thing OFF.

On the previous TICTH thread, someone recommended yelling out "If it's for me, tell him I'm busy."

And I think Strathclydezero was just being cheeky...

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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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I'm sure you're right Belisarius. I take no offence from SCZ.

I am regularly annoyed however by the people I encounter who take it as a personal insult that I do not possess a mobile phone. As if I would spend my life wondering how to inconvenience them! ("I know! I'll deliberately not live at everYone's beck and call! That'll really get up their noses!")

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"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Ham n' Eggs wrote:

quote:
I am regularly annoyed however by the people I encounter who take it as a personal insult that I do not possess a mobile phone. As if I would spend my life wondering how to inconvenience them! ("I know! I'll deliberately not live at everYone's beck and call! That'll really get up their noses!")

The people who annoy me are the ones who assume because I have a mobile phone I am available twenty four hours a day. This point is insufficiently appreciated by those people who say things like: "What's the point of having a mobile phone if you don't leave it switched on ?" To which the only adequate reply is "You are confusing me with the emergency services".

[fixed UBB code]

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton


Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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Ditto--I use my CP an average of about 5 minutes a month, and usually just to ring twice to indicate (after a night on the town) that I'm on a train home. In the 2-3 years I've owned a CP, I've received two calls (which I knew were coming in advance).

What did all those yakkers do 10 years ago?

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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
frin

Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9

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TICTH the torrents of rain which soaked me before I arrived at my benifits tribunal. And vendors of overpriced soup.

'frin

--------------------
"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.


Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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TICTH people who make fun of saints, of hagiography, or of the concept of people being made perfect through God's grace. Including and especially Howard Ingham.

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2

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quote:
Including and especially Howard Ingham.

'Scuse me? Is this a joke?

Erin
(in full administrator mode)

--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.


Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
shadow-lover
Shipmate
# 157

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TICTH all those who think that someone who has failed to "accept God" in their life is somehow at fault just because some bloke in a black dress has told them there is a God out there.

And while I'm at it, I want anyone who thinks that commiting suicide is a ticket to Hell in a handbasket down here too.

Oh, yes, and anyone who has the immense gall to tell me that I am lying when they don't like my life not fitting in to their nice, comfortable theology.

The Shadow Lover


& &
& !!! &
&c. .c&
0
^

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The Shadow Lover

Nam et si ambulavero in medio umbrae mortis non timebo mala...


Posts: 56 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15

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quote:
Originally posted by frin:
TICTH the torrents of rain which soaked me before I arrived at my benifits tribunal. And vendors of overpriced soup.

'frin


Why were they selling soup out in the rain?

--------------------
"He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt


Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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People who shout into their mobiles in a language I don't understand. I recently endured some girl gabbling loudly into her mobile in Polish virtually non-stop for 45 minutes. As the only words I understood were "Heathrow Airport" and we were currently on a train to Stratford on Avon, her conversation was clearly irrelevant.

It was only two days later that two young men took seats opposite each other on the train I was on and struck up conversations on their mobiles in their native languages for the next 20 minutes. It is, of course, possible that they may have been talking to each other.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
frin

Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9

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quote:
People who shout into their mobiles in a language I don't understand.

Because it is oh-so-rude to limit your eavesdropping? [/rhetorical]

TICTH people who declare they will never go to another beer festival again on the morning after. Cut the self-pitying punitive act and practice moderation next time.

'frin

--------------------
"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.


Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
S'Lo
Apprentice
# 244

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TICTH Photoeletric theory.

--------------------
You are electric?

Posts: 44 | From: Australia Land | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by frin:
Because it is oh-so-rude to limit your eavesdropping? [/rhetorical]

Yes. They clearly want to share their conversation by holding loud dialogues in a public place, why not let me get the full benefit of it by speaking in a language I already know?


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sam
Shipmate
# 423

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TITCH...the note C sharp.

--------------------
Do not be overly righteous,
Nor be overly wise.
[Ecclesiastes 7:16]

Posts: 140 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
da_musicman
Shipmate
# 1018

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TITCH people who have mobile phones but never take them with then ever. Sure they don't want to be at everyones beck and call all the time then but then don't bother haveing one in the first place.

More annoying is those who don't bother takeing there phone with them as they have no credit.But does it cost anything to them if I'm calling them?No.So why don't they flipping take them with them.
(Possibly need whole seperate thread for Mobile phones)


Posts: 3202 | From: The Dreaming | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
'Scuse me? Is this a joke?

Erin
(in full administrator mode)


Administrate away. Which rule did I break that any other post in this thread doesn't break?

Alex

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2

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Feeling a bit paranoid? Did I say you broke a rule? I just want to know if what you posted was a joke or not.

So: is it a joke?

--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.


Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
Feeling a bit paranoid? Did I say you broke a rule? I just want to know if what you posted was a joke or not.

So: is it a joke?


This whole thread is a joke, isn't it? I mean, we're not really consigning people to Hell, and nobody who has any modicum of charity would wish to do so (which is why I don't think God does so but that's a subject for another thread!). It's shorthand for "this really irritates me."

And Howard Ingham's column about St. Mary of Egypt really irritated me. Let's make fun of other people's sacred traditions. Let's hold other people's beliefs and practices up -- not for scrutiny, which I welcome, but for ridicule.

That really bugs me.

We have a television show here in the States called Letterman or Late Night with Letterman or something, and he brings people on who are maybe a little slow mentally, and then makes fun of them in such a way that the audience is howling with laughter, but the guest doesn't realize they're being made fun of.

I hate that show for just that reason, and never watch it. He's a mean-spirited little man.

As Howard Ingham strikes me.

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2

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Of course this thread is a joke. However, you posted something on the Mother Teresa thread that leads me to believe that you were serious. The reason I ask is that we've had a bit of a hurricane in the past when people have started sending specific posters here to hell, and I wanted clarification BEFORE Wood's defenders get wind of this.

(And it's the Late Show with David Letterman – I'm from and live in Florida.)

--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.


Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
I'm from and live in Florida.

This explains a hell of a lot.

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2

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Like what?

--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.

Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Like Dyfrig's signature.

Alex

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

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today i consign to hell...

this crappy, slow modem that takes over a minute to load each page of the boards... >8o<

i can't wait to get back to uni and a swift LAN connection.

dave 8o)

--------------------
"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough


Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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Erin, I don't think that mousethief knows that Howard Ingham is actually our dear Wood. I believe that if mousethief had made the connection he would have started a thread here in Hell asking Mr Wood to explain his writings.

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stephen
Shipmate
# 40

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Oh! so that's what you were talking about
But wait.....is not now Wood's cover blown? I don't think he's going to be too happy about that

--------------------
Best Wishes
Stephen

'Be still,then, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations and I will be exalted in the earth' Ps46 v10

Posts: 3954 | From: Alto C Clef Country | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Okay, so I've started a thread asking Wood to come clean with why he's dissing the Mary of Egypt legend. We'll see what happens there. If anybody wants to pounce on me for disagreeing with Wood, please take it up over there, not here (for the sake of this thread staying true to its purpose).

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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TICTH all creatures with more than 4 legs. Particularly if the legs in question are long.

For those of us who suffer from a fear of such creatures, this is NOT a good time of year.

And you wondered why I wasn't camping at GB?

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.


Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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TICTH all stinging insects, especially the yellow jackets that made a nest just outside one of my doors last week. Last Friday I got stung three times. I haven't used that door since.

I had a pest control expert come this morning to look at the situation. He'll come back after dark and do them in. That's the good news. The bad news is it will cost me ninety-five dollars.

They definitely belong in hell.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
---------------------
See you later, alligator.


Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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TICTH the demon spawn who tried to break into my car last night. So you failed. My heart weeps. What really makes it weep is the fact that you annihilated the fecking lock. Which means I can't open the door using the key, but have to break in through the boot. This (a) sets the alarm off and (b) is no fecking help because the alarm is only disarmed by opening the door using the key. So thanks to this illustration of the doctrine of the Fall, I can't disarm the alarm and start the engine. Thank you so much you twat. I've got to remove the door trim to get at the fecking microswitch just to start my fecking car.

And if you know the pointless arse-wipe who nicked most of our flower pots from the front yard over the weekend, why don't the pair of you join up and nick each other's stuff instead of irritating the rest of us?

--------------------
Might as well ask the bloody cat.


Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sparkle
Shipmate
# 895

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quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
TICTH all creatures with more than 4 legs. Particularly if the legs in question are long.


Yes! I completely and wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. I would like to add one further catagory - horrible slimy beasties with no legs at all i.e. slugs! What was God thinking when he decided to create these vile things, hm?

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"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou


Posts: 87 | From: At the mo - Kyoto, Japan | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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TICTH the Jefferson County, Colorado, R1 School District. A public school (in the American sense, not the British), they are nevertheless charging for my son's AP calculus textbook. To the tune of $80.

And while we're at it, I also consign to hell the district taxpayers for not being willing to fund public education at a reasonable level.


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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I am totally and utterly sick and tired of people who blithely assume that everyone is right handed. I am not right handed. I am LEFT handed, OK? I do not want a computer mouse that is curved to fit my right hand. I do not want to have to reset the mouse settings of every single networked pc I use every single time I log on. I do not WANT a right handed keyboard where the cursor keys are on the WRONG SIDE and slow me down.

I have had much malicious pleasure in getting a left handed keyboard (from "Anything Left handed", in London) and getting pc support to use it on occasion, and watching them struggle, but I resent the fact that I had to buy it myself and it cost twice as much as a standard one. I have had difficulty using half the kitchen equipment I have got, feeding tickets into Tube barriers, using pens in banks because they are plugged into the right hand side of the desk and won't stretch, and the messages you get on pens and mugs are always the wrong way round anyway, and so on and so on down to the buttons on the photocopier and the document feeder.

Nobody ever stops to think about the millions of people in this world who are left handed. Time they did. We exist. Deal with it.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sparkle
Shipmate
# 895

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TICTH Colleagues who are never at their blimin' desks when you need them, but won't go away when you want them to!



--------------------
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou


Posts: 87 | From: At the mo - Kyoto, Japan | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Liberty

ship's football fanatic
# 713

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TICTH boyfriends who can't wait to get back to Uni only to use fast computers, not to see their girlfriends.....Dave!

And blimmin Lancaster all it ever does is rain, rain, rain, rain, rain!

And Christian bookshops that charge you a fortune for a Bible (shouldn't they be free on the NHS?).

And washing machines that break when you have NO clean clothes.

And work men that are decorating in your room when you want to sleep and tiling in the bathroom when you want to shower and....

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"I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtedly"


Posts: 1879 | From: SW2 to 20009 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266

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The posts made by Munster1923 especially as my reply ended lost in the cyber-space(probably just as well )

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I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp

Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sam
Shipmate
# 423

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quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
The posts made by Munster1923 especially as my reply ended lost in the cyber-space(probably just as well )

I'm with you on that one.
I was goaded into making a reply....and it wasn't left in cyberspace.



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Do not be overly righteous,
Nor be overly wise.
[Ecclesiastes 7:16]


Posts: 140 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sparkle
Shipmate
# 895

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TICTH All MNCs for being horrible and evil and for making me have to limit my choices of food/clothes/drinks etc. just because there are certain ones I won't buy. And making shopping a whole lot more difficult. Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!



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"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou


Posts: 87 | From: At the mo - Kyoto, Japan | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jasper
Shipmate
# 110

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quote:
And Christian bookshops that charge you a fortune for a Bible (shouldn't they be free on the NHS?).

They are, aren't they? Just steal a Gideons one from a hospital...

BTW, we only charge a 'fortune' for them because the publishers charge us a fortune for them to start with!

[fixed UBB code]

[ 30 August 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]


Posts: 175 | From: Bristol | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ian M
Shipmate
# 79

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Do you really want me to break down who gets what out of selling a Bible?... believe you me, nobody makes much money off them!


Ian


Posts: 332 | From: Surbiton, Surrey, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Beethoven

Ship's deaf genius
# 114

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TICTH colleagues who are incapable of performing even the simplest tasks correctly and accurately. And we trust these people with sensitive data...?!?!??!



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Who wants to be a rock anyway?

toujours gai!


Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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TICTH answering systems that never allow you to reach a real, live, honest-to-goodness breathing human being. God help us if we ever had a real emergency and could not get through to someone who could answer a question. And for crying out loud if you DO have one of those infernal machines, RETURN THE FREAKING CALL!!!

There, now, I feel better already.

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?


Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged



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