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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Bible in Limerick
starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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Some of you may have been unfortuanate enough to see [URL=http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index=books-uk&field-author=Goodwins%2C%2 0Christopher/026-8468852-0838858]these books[/URL] . the author attempts to cover the whole Bible in limerick verse, with varying sucsess.

Well, I thought that we could do better (and perhaps publish a book and make millions, well, perhaps not then).

So, your challenge, should you choose to accept it is to come up with a limerick for every book of the Bible (in order).

I will kick off with Genesis.

A couple named Adam and Eve,
Were once told by God they must cleave,
but they started to sin,
hence the state we are in,
but God had a plan up his sleeve


[ 10. March 2003, 00:33: Message edited by: Erin ]

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Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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And I thought that this was a thread about the Irish Missal... [Disappointed]

--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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That man was my vicar from the age of 8 to 25-ish! For many, many years before he wrote the books he test drove his ideas on us in sermons, anecdotes, speeches, sherry parties, etc,etc. Great if you are 8 years old, but less so at 28, 38, 48 etc.

And I normally quite like limericks........

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Xavierite
Shipmate
# 2575

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This was in this week's The Tablet, and struck me as pretty good. This is the whole Bible in one limerick. Doesn't mention if it's with or without deuterocanonicals, though... [Wink]

First Genesis starts with Creation,
The Hebrews become a great nation,
Redemption for all,
Some letters from Paul,
Apocalypse, final salvation.


(By Dominica Roberts of Bracknell)

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plassfan7
Apprentice
# 1076

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quote:
Originally posted by starbelly:


So, your challenge, should you choose to accept it is to come up with a limerick for every book of the Bible (in order).


hmmm...so, this means I cannot skip to the book of Philemon?

--------------------
Tell her that the lesson taught her far outweighs the pain.
~Adelaide Proctor~

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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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No, you have to wait your turn [Smile]

Neil

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plassfan7
Apprentice
# 1076

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quote:
Originally posted by starbelly:
No, you have to wait your turn [Smile]

Neil

..very well then, my turn, Exodus:

Wandering quite lost was a nation
Tho favored by God, suffered deportation
Would they have followed the rules
T'would have found precious jewels
Just a stones throw from their exasperation

*cough cough*

...well, that's part of the book anyway...

--------------------
Tell her that the lesson taught her far outweighs the pain.
~Adelaide Proctor~

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Leviticus' mainly used tools,
Are cleansing and offering rules.
The Jubilee Year,
Comes rarely I fear,
And untended land feeds all the Mules.

<curtsey>
jj

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Laysha
Shipmate
# 1392

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In Numbers they count things, I know;
The journey proceeds, but quite slow;
Amid all the slaughters,
Zelophehad's daughters
And Balaam's old ass steal the show.

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The Mid

Officer and a gentleman
# 1559

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Very amusing, Numbers was good [Smile]

--------------------
For God so loved the world She got involved

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Lou Fourty-Two
Shipmate
# 2578

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Deuteronomy means repeating of the law
(Which may sound like a little bit of a bore)
It warns us not to bow
Before a golden flipping cow
But to love and value God much much much more

*cringes*

--------------------
Not insane, just universally misunderstood.

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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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An alternate Genesis, 'cos it just popped into my head and I don't want it to go to waste (unless I should post this elsewhere?)

There once was a couple named Adam
And Eve, the first Sir and Madam;
About whom we've pondered,
Debated and wondered
Re: navels, and whether they had 'em.

[Big Grin]

David
sick-at-home orthodox guy

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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(Sorry you're sick again, David... praying for you!) Loved the 2nd Genesis limerick...

Here's a stab at Joshua:

There once was a young son of Nun
Who fought like Attila the Hun
He sacked cities & towns
Knocked Jericho to the ground
And fought 'til the Promised Land was won.

~ml

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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The Judges worked to set the Israelites free,
so that they would finally see,
that God had a plan,
through the likes of Ibzan
so they then saw their enemies flee.

Neil

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Within the next book, which is judges.
We see heroes and various grudges.
Gideon won with meekness
Sam's haircut proved his weakness
And still there's no mention of Budgies

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Laysha
Shipmate
# 1392

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The scenario might lead to rage -
Ruth seduces a man twice her age;
But when understood,
It's all for the good -
King David's just over the page.

--------------------
Don't let the Church become a non-prophet-making organisation.

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Samuel annointed Saul King,
Which should have been a good thing.
But Saul wouldn't mind,
And God said "Go find
Jesse's son, the one who can sing.

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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The Jews were enamored with Kings
And this wish almost ruined everything
God's plan was for priests
or prophets at least
But He gave way for their tiresome fling.

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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Laysha
Shipmate
# 1392

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[You can tell I've been suffering from insomnia... sorry to keep jumping in... everybody's come up with such great verses! Here goes with 2 Samuel]

So David survives all the strife,
But has trouble with family life -
Which son is the best?
Well, God's far from impressed
When he chases another man's wife.

--------------------
Don't let the Church become a non-prophet-making organisation.

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Quidnunk
Shipmate
# 2901

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Solomon's rulings were wise,
His temple a ginormous size.
But wars came along
As his wives were all wrong.
Then Elijah cut Baal's priests to size.

That was really hard!

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birdie

fowl
# 2173

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a HUGE round of applause for that as a first post.

classy.

bird

--------------------
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow

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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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The quality of these really is good, Keep them coming.

When we have finished i think we should do something good with them, any ideas?

Neil

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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In Kings 2 we have quite a story,
The Temple repaired for God's glory.
Jehu, Nimshi's son,
Took out all the bums,
The Kings were mostly quite gory.

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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First Chronicles lists sons and successors
Who wish to be land possessors
Once David's made king
They conquer everything
And leave Solomon to be the temple erector.

~from the girl who paid attention in Sunday School, ml [Big Grin]

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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(Sorry for the double post... couldn't resist II Chronicles and Solomon...)

When Solomon laid out the temple
He knew the task wasn't simple
Made with bronze and with gold
And with silver we're told -
His budget was more than just ample!

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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Laysha
Shipmate
# 1392

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Can I do Ezra-Nehemiah as one limerick?

An exile and many years later,
The Temple's rebuilt, even greater;
They must be on their guard,
And the work is quite hard,
But they manage to reconsecrate 'er.

Hmm...

--------------------
Don't let the Church become a non-prophet-making organisation.

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Dave P

stoned
# 2900

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Esther was lovely and thin,
The king's favour she did so win;
She was made queen,
And then became keen,
To save all those of her kin.

--------------------
ne Holy Stone

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kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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Damn, beaten to Esther. Here's an alt version which I'm going to post anyway....

King Xerxes was taken by Esther
But his Vizier, Haman, distressed 'er.
He aimed to kill Jews,
Which was really bad news,
'Til she heard it; she saved 'em; they blessed 'er.

--------------------
I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


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John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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Job:

Satan walked into God's Palace
Seeking to test out of malice
A boil-ridden bloke
Would he curse God or croak?
God thankfully stopped short of callous.

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Dave P

stoned
# 2900

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Psalms:

Blessed is he who delights in the Lord, (1:1-2)
If you don't repent God will whet his sword;(7:12)
In thy light do we see, (36:9)
So longs my soul for thee, (42:1)
Everything that has breath praise the LORD. (150:6)

I don't think it quite works but couldn't think of a better way of doing it.

--------------------
ne Holy Stone

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Proverbs is a great little book
I urge you to go take a look
I'ts so stuffed full of knowledge
They don't teach you in college,
And advice you wished you had took.

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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Psalms is a sing-song galore
King David kept writing more
There's all kinds of feelings;
There's God-and-man dealings;
With such variety, it's never a bore!

(Ok, so the last line is lame, but I got stuck...)

[Duplicate Post deleted]

[ 20 June 2002, 05:01: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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Ecclesiastes:

Solomon learned lessons from life
About vanity, folly and strife:
That there's a time and a place;
That we must seek God's face;
That words of wisdom are sharp as a knife.

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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Laysha
Shipmate
# 1392

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these are great!
My Ecclesiastes was a bit more negative:

There is nothing new under the sun,
And for all of the work you have done
There is nothing to show -
What's the point? God must know.
While you're here, eat and drink and have fun.

--------------------
Don't let the Church become a non-prophet-making organisation.

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Quidnunk
Shipmate
# 2901

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Thanks Birdie - it's good to be on board after lurking for so long.

Song of Songs (or of Solomon's) odd,
It's about sex and it's about God.
Is it allogry or literal
physical or spiritual
Or just what it's like to be loved?
[Heart] [Heart] [Heart]

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Alaric the Goth
Shipmate
# 511

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If it’s woes that you want, read Isaiah
A true man of God and no liar
If in darkness you walk
“See the light!” is his talk
And "Wait for the coming Messiah!”

--------------------
'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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Jeremiah's the prophet of doom
For he preached about judgement and gloom
He wept and he mourned
and cautioned and warned
That God's wrath would be coming down soon. [Waterworks]

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Lamentations

God's people were caught up in sin,
Their cries make a huge, awful din,
They weep and they sigh,
And would rather die,
Than to not be God's people again.

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Whilst Ezekiel's in Babylon
He ensures prophecying goes on
Midst the sorroe and strife
sees dry bones come to life
which has also been mentioned in song

(dem bones, dem bones, dem, dry bones)

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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There once was a righteous young man
Carted off to a far, pagan land
When they said, "Don't you pray"
He did anyway
Ignoring the king's own command.

So Daniel was hurled to the lions
But no one heard screamin' or cryin'
The lions were still
And the king learned God's will
And never again would defy Him.

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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Hosea was wed to a whore
To win her, he just love her more.
He reminded the Jews
That God love them, too.
For repentance the Lord did implore.

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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plassfan7
Apprentice
# 1076

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I LOVE the book of Hosea and the promise and hope it brings to my own weary, wayward heart. I think about His grief over their(our) choices...how He will not make us love Him. We are our own undoing. The depth of His love never ceases to amaze and overwhelm me everytime I drag my unfaithful butt back into the presence of His mercy.
Try as I might, I could not make this into a limerick...

My clothing, oh Gomer, I tear for thee
As you lie soiled, naked, for all to see
Hidden beneath your harlots disguise
A broken reflection revealed in My eyes
I long to heal and set you free
Turn O Israel, return to Me

...in you alone, do the orphans find mercy.
(the ending of Hosea 14:3)

--------------------
Tell her that the lesson taught her far outweighs the pain.
~Adelaide Proctor~

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Joel starts with news that's distressing,
No grain, food or grapes for wine-pressing.
Dream dreams you old men!
Take up swords, spears and then
God ends Joel's book with His blessing.

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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mysticlisa

Ship's seer
# 2867

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quote:
Originally posted by plassfan7:
I LOVE the book of Hosea and the promise and hope it brings to my own weary, wayward heart...
Try as I might, I could not make this into a limerick...

Your poem was lovely, Plass... It caught the heart of Hosea much better than my weak attempt! I think it's hard to convey passion in a limerick!
Thanks for sharing... I, too, love the book of Hosea and the idea that God would draw us to Himself regardless of who we are or what we've done. His mercy never fails... ml

[UBB Code edtied]

[ 24 June 2002, 14:38: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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Anonymous 4
Shipmate
# 2898

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When Amos was out with the sheep,
he had visions both scary and deep,
of fire and fight
of mildew and blight,
how the rich all their riches won't keep.

....uummmm...the minor prohets...always a challenge.....

--------------------
Goreu Awen Gwirionedd
The best inspiration is truth

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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The next little book, Obadiah,
Has a message that's meant to inspire
Though Edom was cruel
Justice is paid in full
They'll be straw in the Israeli fire

(obadiah v18)

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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The longest book there is the Psalms
A songbook that stirs up and calms
From the terror of death
To "praise Him who have breath"
And all points in between -- that's the Psalms.

Rdr Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Viola
Administrator
# 20

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This just in from our latest member madgeo - originally on a thread of its own
         
I hadn't seen Jonah so here goes:
Jonah was assigned a mission;
but God sent in 'a fishin;
Jonah had a big fright;
yelled "You aren't behavin right!";
and God stopped his dissin.
Bah dump Bump
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Posts: 1 | From: Lost Angeles | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged

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"If ye love me, keep my commandments" John 14:15

"Commandment number one: shut the hell up." Erin Etheredge 1971-2010

Posts: 4345 | From: West of England | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mad Geo

Ship's navel gazer
# 2939

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Thanks Viola, let's try this again;

I hadn't seen Jonah so here goes:

Jonah was assigned a mission;
but God sent in 'a fishin;
Jonah had a big fright;
yelled "You aren't behavin right!";
and God stopped his dissin.

Bah dump Bump

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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"

Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cuthbert
Shipmate
# 2044

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I think it's Micah next

Micah,a prophet from Moresheth,
told Judah what the Lord had saith: (ouch!)
do what is just and show love is a must
and always with your God to walketh

[Projectile] !!!!!

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Andy
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"Faith is more than believing; it is an act of courage, a bold grasping of God's truth" Mike Yaconelli

Posts: 129 | From: SE Essex and not far from Foulness | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged



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