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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: What it REALLY means
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Straightforward example:
"I'm not racist but..."
"I am about to say something racist."
I think this works best if the each poster provides the original expression and the subsequent explanation.
Also, one entry per post, but of course you can do multiple posts.
So...
"Come on, we're all adults here."
"Quit complaining about my gratuitous lewdness."
[ 25. May 2016, 16:33: Message edited by: Stetson ]
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
"Of course, I respect your right to say whatever you wish".
=
"I've already decided not to listen to a word you say, as I think it's utter claptrap".
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"We don't live in a democracy anymore."
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"No one voted for the party I like."
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
"We are glad that justice has been done".
=
"We're really glad that he was found guilty and sent to jail".
(Presumably linked to: "There's no justice in this world" = "He was acquitted").
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"I need your undivided attention."
=
"What you are about to hear will be mind-crushingly boring."
[ 25. May 2016, 18:03: Message edited by: Stetson ]
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
"And so to sum up..."
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"I plan to preach for another 20 minutes."
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
We have to be fair to everybody....
=
Why should we be fair to you?
[ 25. May 2016, 19:07: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
A quick question
=
An unbelievably complex question, preceded by an endlessly long preamble
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
"I don't mean to be critical, but"
=
I'm about to attack your efforts, your intelligence, and/or your appearance
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
"I feel God is saying to me ..."
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This is something that I want, but it is so tenuous that I need to have divine justification for it.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"Finally, a church that preaches the gospel."
=
"Every sermon is about sodomy."
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Let me clarify -
=
Listen, while I obfuscate beyond hope of elucidation.
[ 26. May 2016, 12:55: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"What I really mean to say is"
=
"I am about to repeat my previous question, word for word"
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"I understand what you say"
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"And I shall ignore you entirely"
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
"What an interesting combination of flavours."
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It was absolutely horrid.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
"I've never thought of it like that before."
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What substance were you taking when you thought that up?
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
The company will be exploring new ways to serve its customers better.
=
Expect massive layoffs.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
By a politician on TV: "Before I answer that, I'd just like to say ..."
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"I have absolutely no intention of answering your question and I'm not going to be swayed from my briefing".
(Linked to "Let's be very clear on this, Jeremy ..." = "I'm pretending to be your chum and I'm never going to give you a straight answer").
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
In an academic discourse: "Clearly, therefore ..."
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"I'm making a huge illogical leap here which has no basis on the empirical evidence I've cited but which is utterly necessary for proving my thesis. I'm actually hoping that you won't notice but, if you do, please jump with me!"
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"The attitudes toward sex in that culture are so much more rational than ours."
=
"It's easier to score over there."
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
"The lads showed real character out there"
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"We lost the match but the result would have been even worse for us if the players hadn't taken every opportunity to impede play".
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
"I'm making a huge illogical leap here which has no basis on the empirical evidence I've cited but which is utterly necessary for proving my thesis. I'm actually hoping that you won't notice but, if you do, please jump with me!"
Bonus marks for lining it up with a page break.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
"You suggest something."
=
"I know exactly what I want but I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to force you to guess repeatedly, vetoing all your wrong choices, until you finally learn to read my mind."
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
"You suggest something."
=
"I know exactly what I want but I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to force you to guess repeatedly, vetoing all your wrong choices, until you finally learn to read my mind."
Do you know my wife then?
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I care.
=
I don't give a shit, but will say anything to get off the hook.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"You are your own worst enemy"
= Prepare for some bullying
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Everyone knows . . .
=
How can you be so stupid as not to know . . .
[ 28. May 2016, 03:22: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
The company will be exploring new ways to serve its customers better.
=
Expect massive layoffs.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
(From a politician): "We're all in this together."
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"You're all in this together - we're just fine with our international portfolios and expense accounts, but we're going to tax you until the pips squeak."
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Lessons will be learned
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We're a public body which has been caught with its pants down: we're immune from prosecution so if we say we're going to learn lessons and keep our head down Joe Public will forget about it until the next time it happens.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
"It's the right thing to do"
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Trust me, I'm a Tory.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"We're all in the same boat"
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So I'll steer while you row.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I am interested to have your opinion...
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...so that I can ignore it while saying that you were duly consulted.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I'll get right on it [by an employment agency after seeing your resume].
=
Let's face it: you're unemployable.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
We'll keep your resume on file."
=
"...in the trash bin."
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
(On the subject of employment agencies)
"We have the most exciting opportunities just for you"
=
Another job has come in, the computer matched some words with your CV.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
On the subject of job applications -
You are obviously very experienced
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You are too old.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
I NEVER would have spoken to my father that way!
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Wiah I could've, though. Miserable pr**k.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Years ago, I had this exchange with a lawyer friend:
Me: "You should tell X you'll take [his unsolicited opinion] under advisement."
L.: "But that's lawyerease for 'shove your opinion up your ass.'"
Me:" ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) "
She wound up following my advice.
[ 19. August 2016, 16:58: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times"
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"I have lost the ability to influence your behavior."
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
"No Shoulder Driving"
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"We acknowledge that there aren't enough lanes to accommodate the traffic on this stretch of road."
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
The meeting will be short.
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The meeting is a face-saving exercise which will change nothing.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
"There's something I want to talk to you about"
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"You're really not going to like what I'm about to say but I've at last summoned up the courage to say it".
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
He's alright in small doses.
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The smaller, the better.
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
We need to speak.
=
You need to listen.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
"I'm just sharing this so you can pray..."
=
"Here's a really juicy bit of gossip I heard..."
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
With respect I must disagree
What is really meant is: I disagree totally and have no respect for you.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"I have a mandate"
means
"I can now behave like a dictator"
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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