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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Clickbait Bible - A Kerygmaniacal Game
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
You know, those eye-grabbing, sensationalist headlines that just beg you to click on them and don't quite deliver what they promise?
Over on the Ship's FB page, there's a cartoon with several clickbait headlines for the Old Testament, to wit:
Why did this man order 300 cubits of gopher wood? The reason will shock you!
Israelites are halted at the Red Sea. You won't believe what happens next!
What clickbait headlines can Shipmates come up with? I'll start us out with one from Kelly Alves, riffing on all those cute-kids-and-animals links:
"Five thousand people refused to share lunch with each other... Then one kid stood up, and our hearts melted."
Let's give it a try....
[ 15. October 2016, 19:16: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Latest trend in wall-hopping! Also useful for extra bread and fish! You won't believe what baskets can do for you!
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Someone on the Facebook page asked for a sport themed one. All I could think of was David and Goliath. Hence:
"David's epic clapback at a sneering Samaritan's insults."
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Someone on the Facebook page asked for a sport themed one. All I could think of was David and Goliath. Hence:
"David's epic clapback at a sneering Samaritan's insults."
"Five smooth secrets for vanquishing a Philistine. You won't believe what this kid can do!"
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Itinerant Rabbi Shouts into Tomb -- What Happens Next Will Astound You!
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
What the King saw from the rooftop. Shocking!
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
In the beginning, it was dark. Then someone turned on the light.
But wait! There's more!
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Itinerant preacher casts out demons, but you won't believe what these pigs did next! [VIDEO]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Get great tasting wine from just ordinary water! This one simple trick will show you how!"
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Undertakers hate this prophet's bones!
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Inspired by Nigel M's links:
What this soldier looks like now is INSANE!
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Try this one weird tip to prevent the death of your firstborn.
This king rebuilt Jericho - AND added gates: here's how.
[ 16. October 2016, 18:31: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
And some say long hair is unmanly! Read what happened to this war hero when his girlfriend made him cut his locks!
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
( ...wow, that's a weird verse) (to Euty)
Speaking of Jericho...
These soldiers' sweet trumpet licks really bring the house down!
[ 16. October 2016, 18:43: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
This guy may be short, but what he does with a sycamore tree is HUGE!
[ 16. October 2016, 19:19: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
We all panicked when the auditor came-- but we never expected this!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
What's your answer to the latest question driving the internet wild: is the coat... white and gold or blue and black?
(or red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and...)
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
You won't believe how many ancestors this man has! #17 will shock you!
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Lose pounds in just 390 days - the method doctors don't want you to know about
(pop-up, alternates annoyingly with the following):
You can't get more eco-friendly than this natural cooking solution. Save up to 100% on gas bills!*
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*dysentry optional
[ 16. October 2016, 21:01: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Hot, single girl available for date - local to you!!! - Timnah Road, Enaim. Click to chat*
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*Seals, cords and staffs accepted as down payment, caveat emptor.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
The boy done good: How a trip to Egypt turned into a family reunion - and Our Kid's done alright for himself.
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Try this one weird tip to prevent the death of your firstborn.
This king rebuilt Jericho - AND added gates: here's how.
Oy. I was thinking of
this.
ETA: I'm beginning to think I might submit my stuff on this thread to a marketing position. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
[ 17. October 2016, 03:25: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I got that one, LC.
I'm still stumped by mousethief's ancestor #17.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Mind-blowing investment tips!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
Beautiful Queen Jezebel climbs a tower. What happens next will have you in tears! You won't believe what the Israelites let their dogs do!
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
I got that one, LC.
I'm still stumped by mousethief's ancestor #17.
Either of the genealogies in Matt, Luke. #17 was an arbitrary number of the sort in some kinds of click bait.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Live your life according to these 10 simple rules. Number 7 is bound to upset some people.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Thanks mousethief. I was actually counting names in the genealogies because I thought #17 would be Rahab!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Crazed man ties up boy, plans to kill him, kills ram instead. Owner of sheep outraged!
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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MSHB
Shipmate
# 9228
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Posted
Guess who's getting into Paradise ... and he's got a criminal record!
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MSHB: Member of the Shire Hobbit Brigade
Posts: 1522 | From: Dharawal Country | Registered: Mar 2005
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Odd method restores your 20/20 vision: try this
(I actually just saw this exact clickbait headline)
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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MSHB
Shipmate
# 9228
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
Odd method restores your 20/20 vision: try this
(I actually just saw this exact clickbait headline)
"Here's mud in your eye!"
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MSHB: Member of the Shire Hobbit Brigade
Posts: 1522 | From: Dharawal Country | Registered: Mar 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Ancient prophet bemoans the meaninglessness of life .... 2800 years before Sartre!
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Syro-Phoenician woman BURNS Messiah with this sassy retort!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
Tired of looking for love on Tinder? Try this one weird trick to win the girl of your dreams.
[ 22. October 2016, 00:10: Message edited by: Trudy Scrumptious ]
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Humble Servant
Shipmate
# 18391
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Humble Servant:
Miracle wilderness diet. How to face your fasting demons.
Sorry, that should have been "40 day" miracle wilderness diet...
Posts: 241 | Registered: Apr 2015
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