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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Judas, Judas
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
This joke submitted by Ariel:
Jesus is on the cross, and he calls out: "Judas! Judas!"
Judas rushes up to him, but before he can get there is intercepted by the soldiers, who break both his arms and push him down the hill.
Once more, Jesus calls out: "Judas! Judas!"
"I’m coming, Lord!" says Judas and struggles up the hill, but as before is intercepted by the soldiers, who break both his legs and throw him back down the hill.
A third time, Jesus calls out: "Judas! Judas!"
"Yes Lord," Judas replies faintly, and he has himself towed up the hill on a little trolley. This time the soldiers don't stop him and he gets there OK. "What is it Lord?"
"Judas," says Jesus, "I can see your house from here."
Poll information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 140 user(s) have voted.
You can't view the results of this poll without voting.
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
When I first heard this one it had Peter as the fall guy of the joke. In that version it was a good skit on people taking "The Word Of God" far too seriously all the time, viz. Peter's willingness to get to the foot of the cross despite losing all his limbs, when all he was getting there for was "I can see your house from here".
With Judas as the fall guy, though, there's a very different dynamic to the gag. It becomes ambiguous - why would Jesus' betrayer be so desperate to hear His Word? Is he hoping for forgiveness for his betrayal before Jesus dies? - if so the joke takes on a melancholy feel when the absolution isn't forthcoming.
In summary, the funniness of the anticlimatic payoff depends greatly on the established relationship between the players. IMO, that funniness is far greater when the fall guy is a devoted disciple looking for one more word of Divine Teaching (Peter) than when he is (presumably) seeking only absolution (Judas).
Just my £0.02.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
This is the best one so far! ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
With Judas as the fall guy, though, there's a very different dynamic to the gag. It becomes ambiguous - why would Jesus' betrayer be so desperate to hear His Word? Is he hoping for forgiveness for his betrayal before Jesus dies? - if so the joke takes on a melancholy feel when the absolution isn't forthcoming.
I'd heard it with Peter too. I think it's a bit more amusing with Judas, though, because I read it as Jesus getting his sadistic revenge by putting Judas through the wringer for no good reason. And I'm nasty enough to find this funny.
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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"
Richard Dawkins
Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
I find this sick, blasphemous and not even funny. I don't generally like Jesus jokes unless they're made by him.
The exception is the one about the black man excluded from a white South African church, who is joined on the doorstep by Jesus saying 'Don't worry, son, I haven't been able to get in there myself for years'. This is both funny and accurate about the character of Jesus.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Esmeralda's joke was good.
Unfortunately this joke kind of lost me at the beginning. I thought, "Hadn't Judas hanged himself by the time Christ was on the cross?" Perhaps not. But I got confused.
Oh, that I was not so uptight!
![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Mark M
Shipmate
# 9500
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ian Climacus:
Unfortunately this joke kind of lost me at the beginning. I thought, "Hadn't Judas hanged himself by the time Christ was on the cross?" Perhaps not. But I got confused.
I kind of thought that too, but really, you could substitute anyone's name, couldn't you?
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I only know three words of Latin: deus caritas est.
Posts: 139 | From: Edinburgh, Scotland UK | Registered: May 2005
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
You could also view it as Jesus getting his own back on Judas for betraying him. Not very scriptural, but makes us mere humans feel better as some sort of rough justice is seen to be done.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
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Posted
Hostly Jesters hat on
Welcome to the new board everyone!
Please don't forget if you have a new joke to send it to the link at the top of this board so that it can be included in the competition.
Hostly Jesters hat off
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
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Iggy
Shipmate
# 8833
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Posted
I do remember this very ancient joke from the school playground, so I'm afraid my main reaction was a yawn, through sheer familiarity. I think I remember finding it quite funny when I was about twelve.
I wonder how old the joke actually is ? Do you think it was around in 1st Century Palestine ?
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ig
Posts: 127 | From: Brighton | Registered: Dec 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
CRAP!
...
This was the one I was gonna submit. ![[Frown]](frown.gif) Phooey.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Glimmer
Ship's Lantern
# 4540
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Posted
![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif) Heard it in school. And it was Peter, although John would have been more apposite.
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The original, unchanged 4540.
The Temple area, Ankh Morpork
Posts: 1749 | From: Ankh Morpork, Dorset | Registered: May 2003
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LupinPooter
Apprentice
# 9690
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Posted
Along with Ian Climacus I thought Judas was dead by that point.
It did still make me laugh till coffee came out of my nose. Possibly because it's mean and vindictive and that amuses me - oh dear!
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"he had read and absorbed more than he could understand so he lived by pastiche and pretence"
Posts: 4 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Foolhearty
Shipmate
# 6196
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Posted
I couldn't grasp it -- I'm with Ian C on this one. For jokes about "real" stuff to be really funny, they at least need to work with the accepted facts. Also, along with Esmeralda, I found it rather sick.
ETA that this character Jesus is nothing like Jesus as I understand him.
[ 05. July 2005, 15:36: Message edited by: Foolhearty ]
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Fear doesn't empty tomorrow of its perils; it empties today of its power.
Posts: 2301 | From: Upper right-hand corner | Registered: May 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Foolhearty:
Also, along with Esmeralda, I found it rather sick.
FWIW I agree. I was told this joke many years ago and didn't care much for it. It stuck in my mind, though, and looking on the internet I see it's fairly well established now with variants - the Peter one seems more common but this was as it was told to me.
Odd how some things linger. I never could quite forget this joke, probably because the imagery involved is vicious, and for that reason I don't find it funny (any more than I ever found the crucifixion scene in "The Life of Brian" funny). I can see how people could find this joke funny, though, and I think using "Judas" instead of "Peter" adds an extra twist to it. But I don't like it myself.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
This is the joke that I have found to be the funniest, because I find it to be so deliciously wicked and from someone who's not expected to be evil. It's like the little old ladies at church telling dirty jokes ... delightfully unexpected.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Tree Bee
Ship's tiller girl
# 4033
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Posted
Like Flausa, I found it funny because it's so unexpected.
I also found it moderately offensive - I would not want to tell this joke to anyone else.
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http://saysaysay54.wordpress.com
Posts: 5257 | From: me to you. | Registered: Feb 2003
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Alicïa
Shipmate
# 7668
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Posted
I've heard this joke before, with Peter as the subject. Slightly offensive I thought, as in I wouldn't tell it myself out of respect, but I don't think I would be offended by hearing it.
Only mildly funny for me, maybe because as soon as I started reading it I thought, this is supposed to be Peter. odd.
[ 05. July 2005, 18:55: Message edited by: Lady Alicia of Scouseland ]
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"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world." Georgia Elma Harkness
Posts: 884 | From: Where the Art is. | Registered: Jun 2004
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Ricardus
Shipmate
# 8757
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
In summary, the funniness of the anticlimatic payoff depends greatly on the established relationship between the players. IMO, that funniness is far greater when the fall guy is a devoted disciple looking for one more word of Divine Teaching (Peter) than when he is (presumably) seeking only absolution (Judas).
I find it works the other way: with Judas, you're expecting a deep and moving scene of reconciliation, and so the bathos is much greater when all you get is "I can see your house from up here."
quote:
Originally posted by Foolhearty:
ETA that this character Jesus is nothing like Jesus as I understand him.
I find that rather nullifies the offensiveness - the joke Jesus has so little to do with the real Jesus that as a slur on his character it misses utterly.
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Then the dog ran before, and coming as if he had brought the news, shewed his joy by his fawning and wagging his tail. -- Tobit 11:9 (Douai-Rheims)
Posts: 7247 | From: Liverpool, UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ricardus:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
In summary, the funniness of the anticlimatic payoff depends greatly on the established relationship between the players. IMO, that funniness is far greater when the fall guy is a devoted disciple looking for one more word of Divine Teaching (Peter) than when he is (presumably) seeking only absolution (Judas).
I find it works the other way: with Judas, you're expecting a deep and moving scene of reconciliation, and so the bathos is much greater when all you get is "I can see your house from up here."
Undoubtedly. I just find it less funny that way, probably because the idea that Jesus would turn someone seeking forgiveness away like that disturbs me.
Whereas the idea of Jesus doing it to an over-zealous worshipper has me in stitches...
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
This one did nothing for me. In fact, I could not figure out whether Jesus was supposed to be delirious or vindictive.
There are too many images in this joke that do not seem to have a coherent connection. The soldiers' breaking Judas' bones is puzzling - one knows they did that to the thieves to be sure they were dead, so it's a distraction. In the Peter version (not that I especially liked that one, either), Jesus's calling out to Peter somehow made more sense - it did not seem to be revenge, and hearkened back to when Jesus was doing the earlier healing at Peter's house. I had the impression of one calling out to forgive Peter, then having the delirium of the crucifixion make him come out with a confused statement. (Moments leading up to death are so difficult for those watching that I think I'm not alone in having found some comic relief in the odd things people say towards the end.)
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Carys
Ship's Celticist
# 78
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Posted
Blank incomprehension here. I just can't see how it is supposed to be funny. Not offended though. Just bemused.
Carys
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O Lord, you have searched me and know me
You know when I sit and when I rise
Posts: 6896 | From: Bryste mwy na thebyg | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Hosting
Please expand your post beyond the one or two sentences required to tell us how funny / offensive / bemusing this joke is. Please tell us about why you found it funny / offensive / bemusing and perhaps why your context impinges. You could try some theology. You can in write pretty much what you like about this joke or other peoples reactions to it except how funny / offensive / bemusing it is in one sentence.
Pyx_e
Hosting
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
quote:
Marvin:
I just find it less funny that way, probably because the idea that Jesus would turn someone seeking forgiveness away like that disturbs me.
Yer. Agree with this. I could enjoy it more if it was Peter. It's a bit cruel with Judas as the fall guy. Am still struggling to be offended though.
Saying something outrageous as a joke works best when there is no chance of it being true. eg. I might say to a friend: 'So, did you pull at the Mardi Gras?' when I know that he is unwaveringly straight and was actually in a nearby church holding a prayer meeting asking God to open the eyes of the participants to their unchaste behaviour...
With Peter we know he has fullness of life in Jesus. With Judas... dunno.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I came across the version with Peter in it for the first time when I was checking that I'd remembered this one correctly, and it surprised me. I hadn't heard it before and didn't think it worked half as well. It left me a bit nonplussed.
Judas is generally recognizable whether you come from a Christian background or not, after all the name even passed into the language as a synonym for traitor, and the theme of vindictiveness/looking for forgiveness in this version works I think, but Peter seemed to me like pretty much a random choice. It could just as well have been Matthew, John or any of the other apostles and consequently for me it had a lot less impact. Mostly you come across Peter in jokes as the Heavenly Gatekeeper, and if you aren't particularly Christian that's probably more or less what you associate with him.
I think you have to know more about Christianity to get the Peter version. Yes, it's a joke and you can still find it funny as it is without knowing about Christianity, but if there is any significance in having Peter as the other character that isn't as obvious. Especially in the light of above remarks about his having fullness of life or thinking back to the healing at his house. That's not the sort of thing that's going to occur to your average person in the street. I found the Judas version more accessible.
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Long-Johns Silver
Apprentice
# 1763
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Posted
quote:
For jokes about "real" stuff to be really funny, they at least need to work with the accepted facts.
couldn't agree less!! ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
many jokes are funny STORIES!!!! they couldn't really happen ![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif)
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"Smile", they said "it could be worse".
So I did...
And it was.
Posts: 49 | From: "The Church" - Church Inn that is :-) | Registered: Nov 2001
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Papio
Ship's baboon
# 4201
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Posted
This joke portrays Jesus as a total asshat and that is putting it mildly.
How offensive you find that depends on your beliefs.
1 for humour. 2 for offence.
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Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
I would like the Peter version better, too. In that version, Christ isn't malicious, just daft - even to the point of not getting that he's being tortured, and amusing himself with the view. I don't care for the Judas version because it does cast Christ as a sadistic avenger, and it also makes the punchline less funny to me. For the revenge on Judas to work, Christ could equally say, "Gotcha!" or anything else.
I think I like Peter better than John, too, since with Peter we have the whole back story of the disciple who was devoted to Christ but also kept making mistakes and being stupid. This joke seems to fit Peter's character best, IMO.
[eta: This is another where a distinction between "religiously" and "morally" offensive would help. The small bit of offense I took was in making sadistic revenge a punch-line, not in the setting or that it's about Jesus on the cross. FWIW, I think the Life of Brian scene (and the whole movie) is hilarious.]
[ 22. August 2005, 21:48: Message edited by: churchgeek ]
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
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