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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » The Laugh Judgment   » Where is Jesus?

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Where is Jesus?
Simon

Editor
# 1

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This joke submitted by KenWritez:

A Sunday school teacher was talking about Jesus to the kids. "Bobby, where is Jesus?" she asked.

"Jesus is in heaven," replied Bobby.

"Very good!" said the teacher.

She then asked a little girl, "Where is Jesus, Emily?"

"Jesus is in my heart!"

The teacher beamed at little Emily and said, "How sweet!"

The teacher now asked Timmy, "Timmy, where is Jesus?"

"Jesus is in my bathroom," he said.

"How do you know, Timmy?" the teacher said.

Timmy replied, "Every morning my dad gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells, 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"

[ 05. July 2005, 10:12: Message edited by: Simon ]

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Eternal memory

Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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That one hits 'way too close to home for me to judge it properly. It did bring on a big grin though.

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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Sorry, yawn from me.

Perhaps that's because I'm in a house of very quick people. [Big Grin]

[great idea for a competition / board, BTW! I was quite shocked when I thought I selected Eccles to see only three threads!]

Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Triple Tiara

Ship's Papabile
# 9556

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Ian, you may just as well have written my ENTIRE post for me as I agree with everything you have just written! How's that for religious agreement brought on by a tired joke!

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I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.

Posts: 5905 | From: London, England | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
Foolhearty
Shipmate
# 6196

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Found this joke quite funny -- it's new to me.

This joke plays on the concrete thinking of children (one wonders if a child might find it offensive on that account).

I don't find it offensive, though a figurative reading of the father's question might be frowned upon by anyone not wanting to take the Lord's name in vain.

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Fear doesn't empty tomorrow of its perils; it empties today of its power.

Posts: 2301 | From: Upper right-hand corner | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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The punchline was too predictable.

Anyone who has danced/clutched themselves/otherwise been frantic outside the door of the only bathroom in a house with lots of people (especially teens) will identify a bit too much with the swearing father.

Anyone who has only experienced the luxury of multiple bathrooms won't truly comprehend why this situation justified swearing.

Nope. Loser joke.

Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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Not funny, not offensive. The whole kid taking a parent's swearing literally thing is totally [Snore]
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330

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Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Maybe I have a fairly high tolerance for the blasphemous and a low tolerance for bad jokes...

C

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arse

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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What Cheesy said goes for me too.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638

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And here, too.

Isn't the point of The Laugh Judgement that some religious jokes are commented and voted on?

Please may we have some jokes so that we can get started?

Many thanks.

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If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis

Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
dj_ordinaire
Host
# 4643

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Perhaps adding "It's the way I tell 'em!" would help?

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Flinging wide the gates...

Posts: 10335 | From: Hanging in the balance of the reality of man | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Glimmer

Ship's Lantern
# 4540

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[Snore]

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The original, unchanged 4540.
The Temple area, Ankh Morpork

Posts: 1749 | From: Ankh Morpork, Dorset | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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quote:
Originally posted by Back-to-Front:
Please may we have some jokes so that we can get started?

Do you have any decent ones? Send 'em in!

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Hail Gallaxhar

Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420

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I think this joke was old when Rome was young. I suppose I don't find it especially funny because it's so tired.

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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sylver
Apprentice
# 9735

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I think that this one was cute, not really funny, but enough to make me smile.
Not offensive, not hysterical, but cute.

[Votive]

Posts: 2 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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It got a grunt from me. Prolly because I remember hearing it 30 odd years ago when I laughed. 'Jesus Christ' was considered naughty then, so it had that going for it.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Orb

Eye eye Cap'n!
# 3256

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Not funny or offensive because there's no subtlety in the way it's phrased.

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“You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere.” Ursula K. Le Guin, The Dispossessed

Posts: 5032 | From: Easton, Bristol | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged


 
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