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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Jesus in the Job Centre
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by doc201:
Jesus comes back to Earth for a second time and decides he had better get a job. So he goes to the local Job Centre to enquire. The clerk asks him, "What is your trade?" and Jesus replies, "A carpenter".
"Ah," says the clerk. "We have three positions on our books: one in London paying £250 per week, one in Paris paying £400 per week, and one in Jerusalem paying £700 per week. I take it you would be more interested in the job in Jerusalem?"
"No way!" says Jesus. "The last time I was there, they hammered me with tax."
[ 30. August 2005, 21:46: Message edited by: Simon ]
Poll information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 60 user(s) have voted.
You can't view the results of this poll without voting.
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Procrastinus
Ship's Fortean
# 9915
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Posted
Well, I liked this - I like puns.
Thinking about the offense thing - basically I don't think I get offended by what people might say about sacred figures. I'd get offended by jokes hinging on negative characteristics of followers of a particular faith - for example a joke dependent on the idea that Muslims will be terrorists or Jews will be mean with money. On this theme, I don't think I am offended by jokes predicated on paedophile priests but would be by a joke predicated on paedophile Catholics.
[ 12. August 2005, 21:04: Message edited by: Procrastinus ]
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Posts: 198 | From: Imaginary Future | Registered: Aug 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
He'd have to be pretty small if tacks could keep him on the cross. This kind of ruins the joke for me.
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Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
He'd have to be pretty small if tacks could keep him on the cross. This kind of ruins the joke for me.
Ditto.
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Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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kempis3
Shipmate
# 9792
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Posted
I think this is a brilliant joke -- but I'm obviously of the minority opinion!
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Man plots -- God laughs.
Posts: 148 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2005
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seasick
...over the edge
# 48
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Posted
I didn't get it at all at first. I don't really use the word "tacks" and were I to, I would probably mean something like a drawing pin. Certainly not the sort of nails I would expect to have been used to nail Our Lord to the cross.
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We believe there is, and always was, in every Christian Church, ... an outward priesthood, ordained by Jesus Christ, and an outward sacrifice offered therein. - John Wesley
Posts: 5769 | From: A world of my own | Registered: May 2001
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Papio
Ship's baboon
# 4201
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by seasick:
I didn't get it at all at first. I don't really use the word "tacks" and were I to, I would probably mean something like a drawing pin. Certainly not the sort of nails I would expect to have been used to nail Our Lord to the cross.
Yep.
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Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
I do like the beginning. I can just imagine telling it with a straight face: "Jesus comes back to earth and, well of course, he goes to the job center to look for a job, you know..."
I think it is funny to have him start with something so mundane. It also gives me the impression that Heaven isn't what it used to be. I can just imagine God saying: "I'm sorry son, the first time you had all expenses paid, but you know we have to cut expenses these days, so this time you better look for a job!" Not theologically sound perhaps, but I think it is funny.
It is a shame that the pun doesn't work in any other language than English.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Tax = tacks = horribly offnesive (#4). So why did I laugh so hard? Because the whole situation calls for a suspension of disbelief on such a grandiose scale, it's tantamount to Donald Duck dating Daisy Duke. Oh, wait a sec, they're both charicatures, aren't they?
I give it a 65. It had a good beat and I could dance to it.
Oop, wrong thread.
Well, I still think it should go into the top ten at #10. ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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