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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Slurping slob startles strangers in Spokane (Page 1)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Slurping slob startles strangers in Spokane
Loquacious beachcomber
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# 8783

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So, there we were this morning, visiting the buffet breakfast bar at the hotel at which we had spent the previous night, much as we had done at hotels in various states and provinces over the past three weeks.
The concept is a simple one; simply choose breakfast items, place them on a plate, and take them to a vacant table. One guest, though, apparently did not "get" the concept. Instead, he stood leaning against the food bar, loudly slurping on an apple. He also had a plate with peanut butter and jam on a toasted English muffin, which he also munched from time to time. I suppose I should have been relieved that he wasn't eating biscuits and gravy, splattering all and sundry.
When a woman attempted to reach past him to retrieve a breakfast item, he said loudly, "Oh, am I in your way?" as if not understanding that blocking the buffet with his enormous ass might inconvenience others. There were several empty tables available for him to have used, had he chosen to do so.

So, if you have ever behaved like a swine is space many people must share, this rant is about you.
Have you ever met a jackass such as this one, in a buffet line, on a bus train, public swimming pool, etc. then this rant is for you to share your tales of humanity's fucked up foibles.
Personally, in this case, I did not choose any items from the buffet bar; I returned to my room to eat my stash of granola bars and cherries purchased at a fruit stand earlier in the day.

[ 15. July 2012, 02:44: Message edited by: Silver Faux ]

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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)

Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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If you don't like people, stay home.

If you do like people, get a little helpful and provide information.

Grow your tolerance.

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art dunce
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Free breakfast buffets are fucking disgusting. Get off your arse and find local place to eat. If no locals will talk to you yelp is your friend.

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Ego is not your amigo.

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Loquacious beachcomber
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quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:
Free breakfast buffets are fucking disgusting.

Breakfast buffet bars are far from free, you precious pissant. They are part of the price of the room.

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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
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SF,

Sorry about the truly unhelpful responses to date. It is so much easier to make a "judgment" and not have to deal with things than to be helpful.

Since you started off with stating you were on the road, it is more than apparent you have some limitations on eating arrangements. For instance, it is a little hard to find and go to the local vegan organic health food store. Additionally, given that the breakfast buffet is included in the price of the room in many situations, it is hard to economically justify eating elsewhere. That being said, nutritionally, the choices are between bad and worse. As you can see the nutritional value of that breakfast buffet staple, cream cheese and a bagel, is um . . . OTOH, an Egg McMuffin is umm as well.

So, now that we have dealt with the concerns of our betters, let's deal with your OP.

The person standing at the buffet is acting as though he is narcissistic. Or, it might be that he was thinking he could just "grab a bite" and get going; not contemplating what his actions mean to others.

Either way, he is being a jackass. I have been there, done that, at hotel breakfast bars. People want to get whatever semi palatable food they can find, drink a lot of coffee, and get on with whatever brought them to the area. Having someone stand in their way is at best an annoyance. At worst, it is a thing that can start the whole day off on a sour note.

The trick is, I think, to treat such things as an opportunity to practice patience and compassion for those who may not deserve much compassion. That way, you can feel superior to the idiot causing the problem, and still think you might somehow be practicing Christianity.*

As to the guy. Just imagine the many nights he spends with just him and his un-circumcised peter whiling away the lonely hours in a hotel away from home watching porn on the pay for view.


_________________
*You are not, you see. Jesus would have loved the jerk without reservation. That is why Jesus is one with God and we are, well . . .

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
When a woman attempted to reach past him to retrieve a breakfast item, he said loudly, "Oh, am I in your way?"

Which is the only appropriate thing that anyone did or said in this whole scenario.

The woman simply reached over the gentleman without so much as an "Excuse me, please?" I think I would have reacted as the gentleman did if someone pulled that on me.

What is more surprising, though, is that no one, especially not the attendant who was surely on duty keeping the buffet tidy and well stocked, thought to suggest to the gentleman that he might want to take his selections to a table.

This doesn't sound like the kind of hotel Miss Amanda would want to favor with her patronage.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
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Amanda dear heart,

These places do not actually pay someone to walk and chew gum at the same time.

I would assume someone of your taste and refinement would not stay at such a place.

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Sine Nomine

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66

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How do you 'slurp' on an apple?

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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...

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Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
How do you 'slurp' on an apple?

It's a bit unlikely but it can happen if the apple is exceptionally juicy, and someone's very hungry and trying to stuff as much as they can in their mouth with each rapid bite while trying to prevent the juice running down their chin.

There aren't many kinds of eating apple that this could be done with, so either he had one of the few especially juicy kinds (unlikely) or more likely else he was just a slurping slob who could probably get the same effect from a packet of crisps/potato chips. SF doesn't say whether he did this or not with the muffin.

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Sioni Sais
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Aren't Other People™ such an inconvenience.

SF, you have illustrated why people have RV's and caravans. Get one yourself.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Boogie

Boogie on down!
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SF

Take a chill pill -

Please

[Disappointed]

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Garden. Room. Walk

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
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quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
One guest, though, apparently did not "get" the concept.

Dear oh dear, how awful for you. Someone who's probably not stayed there before and doesn't know the "rules" is sitting in the wrong place. He should be executed immediately otherwise, before you know it, he'll start turning up at church and embarrass & annoy everybody by his ignorance of correct procedure.

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
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I sympathize with SF. The guy was a jerk, and it wouldn't be a great way to begin the day. I hope SF enjoyed his granola bars and cherries (fresh Washington cherries! Yum!) and restarted the day on a better note.

But since he's still PO'ed, probably not. [Frown]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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SF's life is a continual martyrdom to the presence of other people. They are loud and fat and wear distressing clothes (or lack of them); they are disgusting and uncouth and moronic and worst of all, he is professionally obliged to be nice to them and appear to care about their tedious and self-induced problems.

OTOH, we have to put up with him.

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Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
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Why do people stand and chat in doorways?

AtB, Pyx_e

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It is better to be Kind than right.

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
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For the same reason that:

The more isle space a group takes up, the slower they walk.

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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Why do people stand and chat in doorways?

AtB, Pyx_e

Either they're earthquake phobic. Or vicars.
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Bean Sidhe
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# 11823

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But... God Almighty, other people... don't they just get in your fucking way?

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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Sioni Sais
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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Why do people stand and chat in doorways?

AtB, Pyx_e

Be fair Pxy_e, they only do it when you want to get past. Maybe it's that Elven Cloak of Invisibility you wear that deceives them?

(my pet theory is that, in Wales at any rate, their mam used to stand in the doorway chattin' an' chopsin' see, and they caught it from them.)

[ 15. July 2012, 13:31: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Loquacious beachcomber
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quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
One guest, though, apparently did not "get" the concept.

Dear oh dear, how awful for you. Someone who's probably not stayed there before and doesn't know the "rules" is sitting in the wrong place. He should be executed immediately otherwise, before you know it, he'll start turning up at church and embarrass & annoy everybody by his ignorance of correct procedure.
He did NOT sit in the wrong place, he stood beside the food and ate there, thereby rendering it unfit for consumption by other humans, who had already paid for it.
And he was blocking a small, confined area needlessly, while making disgusting sounds with his chomping and slurping.
Maybe some of you would have been quite comfortable around him. I wasn't.

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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)

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Bean Sidhe
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Maybe I've missed something and life is short, so I can't be arsed to scroll back, did you at any point say 'Excuse me, sir'? And if not, jumping forward here cos life is short an' all, why not try this normal way of letting another know that maybe, without realising, they're impeding you in the execution of their needs? So that maybe they can say 'Sorry!' and get out of your way? Now if you tried all this and got no response, I will die for your right to be offended. Otherwise, you're being a prick.

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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Loquacious beachcomber
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Again, the fact that he obstructed traffic was less a faux pas then the fact that he ate beside the food supply.
People who make toast or waffles at times stand there while they cook; they do not usually pick up the freshly cooked waffle and gobble it down, perhaps dripping with syrup, in the location where food is displayed for the consumption of others.
I would feel the same way if someone stood at a salad bar and ate from the salad containers with their fingers.
Surely you can see what an unsanitary outrage this was?

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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
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Bean Sidhe,

What SF said was
quote:
When a woman attempted to reach past him to retrieve a breakfast item, he said loudly, "Oh, am I in your way?"
You can't be arsed to read the thread; as you say.

Who looks like a prick?

SF may be a pain in the ass from time to time. He may even be a pain in the ass a lot of the time. He also has truly good moments.

There is some juvenile behavior in this thread. It is not coming from SF.

I sort of expect more from adults.

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Bean Sidhe
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Tortuf, I was being reticent there, I remembered pretty much what SF had posted, including that.

I s'pose it's because I've spent my life working with autsistic people, and other learning disabled. That exchange with the woman sounds very autisitic to me. On the part of the guy blocking the way.

Which makes it tough for the autistic. And you might want to say it makes it tough for those who encounter them, except that most encounters between autistic and non-autistic people would be substantially unproblematic if people just showed them what would, once, have been normal courtesy and consideration. Everything is so rush, rush, gimme gimme now. You're in my way for breakfast? Move on pronto or take my ire!

And those who can't handle that, can't handle it.

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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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Uh huh.
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Really, Tortuf or anyone else, what do you think about this? Life for those with any kind of cognitive difficulty, autism or anything else, has always been difficult to cope with, but in - what seems to me - the brutalised, confrontational and competitive world we have today, it seems so much more threatening to them. Services are withdrawn... what do we do? Ignore the problem and jail them when they screw up?

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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Uh uh. Yeah, ok. Well if that really, really is all you have to say Tortuf, fuck you.

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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Unless you want to engage a neuron or two and think, of course. Then I might be interested.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Soror Magna
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# 9881

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Stupid Fox, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, you should drop to your knees and thank the universe for all your blessings. And guess what? I observed the same behaviour when I was in hospital last year. Nobody died, and the nurses eventually trained him to take his tray to the table. So go to Home Depot, buy a big ladder, and get over yourself. OliviaG
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Sioni Sais
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quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Bean Sidhe,

What SF said was
quote:
When a woman attempted to reach past him to retrieve a breakfast item, he said loudly, "Oh, am I in your way?"
You can't be arsed to read the thread; as you say.

Who looks like a prick?

SF may be a pain in the ass from time to time. He may even be a pain in the ass a lot of the time. He also has truly good moments.

There is some juvenile behavior in this thread. It is not coming from SF.

I sort of expect more from adults.

Tortuf, had SF wanted to put matters right he could have gone up to the counter, tried to get some food from where the guy was standing and politely let him in on the secret of How Things Are Done at the hotel buffet.

Maybe there is some juvenile behaviour coming from the peanut gallery, but that is what the peanut gallery is for. SF could have cured the problem at source.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Gwai
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# 11076

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Why do people keep saying that SF could have solved the problem by talking to the man? He has repeatedly said that his problem is that eating by the food is getting germs etc. on the food. Once he had seen the man eating messily next to the food, he didn't want any food himself. Whatever would be the point in saying excuse me so I can get some food if one didn't plan to eat the food there?

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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
Whatever would be the point in saying excuse me so I can get some food if one didn't plan to eat the food there?

To make a point?

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Bean Sidhe
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# 11823

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In which case he can call the problem to the attention of staff, suggest they dump that food and replace it. Show some insight into what's happening, and cope with it.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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It's really not rocket science, just a bit of thought outside one's own perimeter.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Sinoi, are you seeing me in a peanut gallery? I'm furious about how the learning-disabled are made to struggle in the world we're making, and then made to pay for failing.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Silver Faux, seriously, promise I won't bite, any thoughts?

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Bean Sidhe:
Sinoi, are you seeing me in a peanut gallery? I'm furious about how the learning-disabled are made to struggle in the world we're making, and then made to pay for failing.

Calm down, the gallery's crowded. Have a peanut.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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See my previous post and don't patronise, I'd just like to hear some sense about what might have been the reality in that hotel. And, no intimidation, I'd like to hear from SF about that.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:

Maybe some of you would have been quite comfortable around him. I wasn't.

Maybe, maybe not. I certainly wouldn't have started a Hell thread about it though. Surely there are more important things to get worked up about!

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Bean Sidhe:
See my previous post and don't patronise,

Boo-fucking-hoo. This is Hell, not All Saints.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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I'm still pondering this obsession with eating in the presence of food which other people might eat. A horror which happens in our house on a regular basis. I'll tell you something which should, D.V., keep SF from my door - I have been known to taste food which I am preparing for other people to eat.

The chap was not interacting with food other than that he had selected. After a cheery 'Shift yer arse and lemme at the vittles', I wouldn't have had a problem with the buffet. Nor would I have given any detailed thought to the hygiene of the waitstaff who placed it, the kitchen staff who prepared it, the delivery chain who handled it, the producers or the farmers or the manufacturers.

Contamination is as much about perception as reality. The mother who scrapes dribbling goo off her baby's face and, often as not, ends up eating some herself, doesn't think of herself or her child as revolting (though I might). The uncleaness is something vested in our feelings about and relation to the people involved - and SF loathes most people.

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Bean Sidhe:
See my previous post and don't patronise,

Boo-fucking-hoo. This is Hell, not All Saints.
Exactly, so suck up my complaint. You want to get into an infinite regress here?

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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
art dunce
Shipmate
# 9258

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quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:
Free breakfast buffets are fucking disgusting.

Breakfast buffet bars are far from free, you precious pissant. They are part of the price of the room.
If you line up at a trough you cannot complain about being fed slop.

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Ego is not your amigo.

Posts: 1283 | From: in the studio | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
Surely you can see what an unsanitary outrage this was?

I can see that for those of us privileged with good hygiene as the standard, it would certainly be a bit gross. Perhaps, I'm too much of a wide-arsed (that was one of your important points, wasn't it, that he also had a weight problem?) slob to get too worried about the oppression of your human rights by this guy. But I'd save a straight-faced use of the phrase 'insanitary outrage' for the fact that millions of people every day drink water with mud and raw sewage in it. Not some lard-butt chomping fruit in the vicinity of an over-provisioned food outlet for comfortably-off people who have choices.

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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!

Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
But I'd save a straight-faced use of the phrase 'insanitary outrage' for the fact that millions of people every day drink water with mud and raw sewage in it. Not some lard-butt chomping fruit in the vicinity of an over-provisioned food outlet for comfortably-off people who have choices.

[Overused] [Overused]

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Garden. Room. Walk

Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Why do people stand and chat in doorways?

AtB, Pyx_e

That's one of my huge pet peeves. Also when a group of people insists on walking 4 or 5 abreast down a sidewalk and run you into the street or on the lawn (or into a pole) as you pass them/they pass you. Minor inconvenience, but it's the disregard for other people that bugs me. I try to be happy for them that they're enjoying each other's company.

I think it's partly due to lessening public interaction. Everyone's in their own little world.

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267

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I'm confused, is said gentleman a member of this board?

Or is SF just whinging because he couldn't find the courage sack up and confront the man himself?

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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account

Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
SF's life is a continual martyrdom to the presence of other people. They are loud and fat and wear distressing clothes (or lack of them); they are disgusting and uncouth and moronic and worst of all, he is professionally obliged to be nice to them and appear to care about their tedious and self-induced problems.

OTOH, we have to put up with him.

Not really we don't. This is precisely why we interact on the internet.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66

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quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
That's one of my huge pet peeves.

I'm sorry. Could you go post that on Facebook instead? We're not allowed to have pet peeves on the ship of fools anymore. it's disrespectful to the downtrodden and dispossessed.

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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...

Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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And they eat too much and poop all over the place.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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