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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Exclamation Mark, kingship, and big cocks
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
[Started to post this in Purgatory but decided this was maybe a better place.]
quote:
Originally posted by ExclamationMark:
For goodness sake who wants to be ruled by a dynasty who can put their crown jewels into ONE cupped hand?
You should be called to hell for this. What in the name of all that is both holy and profane does the size, or shape, or girth, or weight, or whatever of someone's genitals say about their ability or fitness to 'rule', or to lead, guide, manage, represent, advance, teach, or anything else - including fuck?
There is so much that is disturbing about this that I don't know where to start. You'd prefer a king with a big cock because...it is a shorthand for manliness, and kingship is all about machismo? Or because it is a shorthand for strength, and leadership is all about brute force? Or because a man with a modest set of tackle is somehow contemptible to you, and you don't like the idea of someone 'lesser' having authority over anyone?
Or is this just a subset of the general idiocy of ascribing mental and emotional characteristics to people based on their physical appearance? People with wide-set eyes can't be trusted - left-handed people can't be trusted, for that matter (which rules out Prince William as a future king), the beautiful are good, the asymmetrically featured, the hairy and the warty, are evil, those with receding chins are weak-willed and indecisive (like Queen Victoria, you know).
Whatever it is - stop it, before I start doing the reverse, which is just as bad, and ascribing physical characteristics and dimensions to you based on the fact that you seized on that particular aspect of the whole debacle to focus on, and your general yappy terrier-like behaviour.
[ 23. August 2012, 23:03: Message edited by: anoesis ]
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
TELL 'IM, anoesis!
it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean, goddamn it!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Time for a cup of tea and a lie down, I think anoesis.
Harry just has huge hands.
ETA: we are talking here of the Nudie Prince, are we not?
[ 23. August 2012, 23:30: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Probably not the thread to bring up the subject of calling one's shot in pocket pool - red ball in the left pocket! - but, you know, the lad has to practice somewhere for his billiards game, what with the stakes being so high and all.
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Sober Preacher's Kid
Presbymethegationalist
# 12699
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Posted
Ex Mark is also a twit for bringing in the NHS. AIUI The Royals pay privately and don't use the NHS, which is legal in the UK.
Besides, why exactly is Harry being a drunken twit at a party news? The Nazi uniform was sheer stupidity, this was just average adult fun.
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NDP Federal Convention Ottawa 2018: A random assortment of Prots and Trots.
Posts: 7646 | From: Peterborough, Upper Canada | Registered: Jun 2007
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art dunce
Shipmate
# 9258
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
TELL 'IM, anoesis!
it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean, goddamn it!
Yeah, but a nice 12 metre yacht beats a dinghy regardless of how choppy the seas become. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Ego is not your amigo.
Posts: 1283 | From: in the studio | Registered: Apr 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
That has more to do with propulsion than size.
Outstrip this.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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art dunce
Shipmate
# 9258
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Posted
"The robot would automatically correct for the tossing and turning of the sea, providing a smoother, less exhausting and less dangerous ride..." ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Ego is not your amigo.
Posts: 1283 | From: in the studio | Registered: Apr 2005
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
I swan. If I didn't know any better I would swear there have been sexual references in this thread.
Almost exactly like the one I made in Purg.
Woe be upon you. Have you no shame?
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:
"The robot would automatically correct for the tossing and turning of the sea, providing a smoother, less exhausting and less dangerous ride..."
That actually sounds a lot less fun.
And anyway, why on earth are we using "winning a race" as an analogy? Logic dictates that what you want is a nice, slow kayak that will drive you straight into those choppy waters, bounding and gliding...
Tortuf-- you know you can crush us all, so do it.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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art dunce
Shipmate
# 9258
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Posted
I'm an old married woman. ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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Ego is not your amigo.
Posts: 1283 | From: in the studio | Registered: Apr 2005
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Logic dictates that what you want is a nice, slow kayak that will drive you straight into those choppy waters, bounding and gliding...
I'd prefer a longboat.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I got the image of a catamaran, and it really made me worry about myself...
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Well, at least you have descended to submarines yet.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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art dunce
Shipmate
# 9258
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Posted
for some reason Spinal Tap popped into my brain:
"My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo."
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Ego is not your amigo.
Posts: 1283 | From: in the studio | Registered: Apr 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
(adds "swive" to spell check dictionary.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Certainly adds a new dimension to swivelling on one's office chair.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his cue—
for his love is more delightful than wine.
Pleasing is the fragrance of his perfume;
his name is like a rack broken apart.
No wonder the young women love him!
Take me away with you—let us Harry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.
Chorus:
We rejoice and delight in him;
we will praise his love more than wine.
How right they are to adore you!
Shy am I, yet lovely,
a daughter of Albion,
taught like the bieze on the table.
Do not stare at him because,
he is darkened by the florescent glow.
His mother’s guards were angry with him.
You can take him home in your minds;
our own vineyards we may neglect.
Tell us, you whom we love,
where you graze your cock
and where you rest your ship at midday.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I got the image of a catamaran, and it really made me worry about myself...
Don't worry...you've just been affected by the barrage of ads and news about the America's Cup World Series, currently taking place in the bay.
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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The Silent Acolyte
Shipmate
# 1158
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Posted
Can anyone favor with a link to the offending post? Then we can decide for ourselves if the quote is as puerile as these post to date.
Posts: 7462 | From: The New World | Registered: Aug 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Swive it, here you go.
It's not that it was purile, it's that it was a completely irrelevant evaluation of somebody's political worth in relation to their penis size. For the record I just thought he was being a wiseass.
Having said that, he spent the next several post basically dancing around with his skirts lifted above his ankles squealing "Ickypoo!" at the nassty, nassty behavior of the Prince. So, my question is why I should take propriety lessons from a gratuitous potty mouth who makes cheap dick jokes?
For example, no one listens to me...
[@ Tortuf: I'm sure you can guess where I put that.]
[ 24. August 2012, 05:25: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I don't know what's going on with everyone else, but the Google Ads banner just went on strike for me on this page...
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
Sorry guys. It was a post in bad taste a nd a feeble attempt at a wind up.
No excuse I'd had a long day, sat listening to the usual stories of people in real need (2 waiting for hospital treatment and apptointments) etc etc, too many energy drinks and well, the red mist took over.
Time to eat a few umbles methinks .... I'll leave him well alone now.
[ 24. August 2012, 06:23: Message edited by: ExclamationMark ]
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ExclamationMark:
Sorry guys. It was a post in bad taste a nd a feeble attempt at a wind up.
No excuse I'd had a long day, sat listening to the usual stories of people in real need (2 waiting for hospital treatment and apptointments) etc etc, too many energy drinks and well, the red mist took over.
Time to eat a few umbles methinks .... I'll leave him well alone now.
OK, maybe I was a bit harsh.
Would it help if I agreed that there are many, many , MANY better things in the world to be worried about?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Thanks so much for this thread. I have suffered with a malfunctioning printer at work all week, and just knowing that today I can safely yell 'Oh swive it, you swiving swiver, why don't you swiving work?' has made my day.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Yeah, Mamacita and I were having an exchange about the usefulness of that word earlier. I say we take it into the official Ship's lexicon. I say we bring it back to jazz up the common speech. Why the swivving swive not!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
There, there EM.
I thought it was funny. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Me too! I had a chuckle and moved on.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
Important things need to be sorted out first.
Is it swivving as in swimming or swiving as in skiving?
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Rhymes with alive, evidently.
As in "I swive my wives every other day". (This, obviously, is only applicable in jurisdictions permitting polygamy).
[ 24. August 2012, 07:21: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
There needs to be a second verb to go with it.
If you carouse you can go the whole hog and go carousing and wassailing.
Cavorting and swiving might be the thing. Probably beats cavorting and snorting.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
I thought it was funny, FWIW. Hardly worthy of a Hell call.
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
Hell calls are rarely worthy.
They're usually started with a great deal of pain and baggage behind them.
Anoesis is probably the Prince of Denmark that was castigated in the past for his small genitalia.
Or a Princess of the realm castigated for her small or too large boobs.
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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QLib
Bad Example
# 43
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Hell calls are rarely worthy.
They're usually started with a great deal of pain and baggage behind them.
Yeah, right - nobody ever gets called to Hell for just being an annoying twat. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
quote:
Anoesis is probably the Prince of Denmark that was castigated in the past for his small genitalia. ... Or a Princess of the realm castigated for her small or too large boobs.
Yes, obviously if you promote the idea that it's wrong to judge people by their physical attributes, it must be because you feel yours are inadequate.
[ 24. August 2012, 12:09: Message edited by: QLib ]
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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by QLib:
Yes, obviously if you promote the idea that it's wrong to judge people by their physical attributes, it must be because you feel yours are inadequate.
The vast majority of people know it's wrong to judge people by their physical attributes.
Many of us here on the thread took it as a good joke.
Anoesis did not.
S/He was either pissed off about something else, or has been harassed on this topic b4 so didn't let it ride.
It's a bit like what sends people into depression. I think Lipodurien (sp?) said it quite well.
People with mental illness are not different from others, they are just less capable of riding with the punches than other people because of previous stuff ( or chemical imbalances etc.)
*Shrug*
It's just a pet theory. No need to take it as gospel. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
One does wonder however why some of us get offended at certain things and others do not.
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Evensong? Is that really you? Get some caffeine down you!
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
I'm sure I don't know what you mean good sir.
(And that wouldn't be caffeine, that would be sleep. It's 9:50pm here. )
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Alogon
Cabin boy emeritus
# 5513
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ExclamationMark:
For goodness sake who wants to be ruled by a dynasty who can put their crown jewels into ONE cupped hand?
I'll volunteer...
You see, I have a few drops of Greek in my blood-- just a few, but proud of every one of them. The ancient Greeks (Athenians, anyway) weren't fond of being particularly well endowed. They considered it to be in bad taste. And their own taste has hardly ever been surpassed.
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Patriarchy (n.): A belief in original sin unaccompanied by a belief in God.
Posts: 7808 | From: West Chester PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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George Spigot
Outcast
# 253
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Augustine the Aleut:
Perhaps the Poet Laureate can come up with a verse to commemorate this event-- after all Lord Rochester gave us a few memorable lines.
Ohhhhh a fellow Rochester fan!
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C.S. Lewis's Head is just a tool for the Devil. (And you can quote me on that.) ~
Philip Purser Hallard
http://www.thoughtplay.com/infinitarian/gbsfatb.html
Posts: 1625 | From: Derbyshire - England | Registered: May 2001
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
I move that Tortuf be voted Poet Laureate of the Ship. Do I have a seconder?
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
I move that Tortuf be voted Poet Laureate of the Ship. Do I have a seconder?
I'll second it, and ask how a Hell call can be unworthy if Tortuf is moved to verse. Is Nashville quiet this time of year?
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Only because Ken Writez is gone. He was the true ship's poet laureate.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
I appreciate the nomination and second, but doggerel is the best I can manage.
Our friend Ken Writez had the heart and soul of a poet among his many other talents.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
I regret to say I can't remember Ken Writez writing verse. But Tortuf's latest effort did make me laugh out loud, which always helps me get through the day.
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
One of my all time favorite pieces of movie dialogue was when Kirk Douglas, playing an aging gunfighter, informs a young man the following:
"There are two main things that determine the course of a young man's life; who he chooses for frineds, and where he decides to stick his pecker."
Close behind, from 'A Bronx Tale' is "Remeber not to let the little head do all the thinking that the big head should be doing."
Maybe Prince Harry needs to watch a few more movies.
[ 24. August 2012, 19:33: Message edited by: Loquacious beachcomber ]
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
quote:
Originally posted by QLib:
Yes, obviously if you promote the idea that it's wrong to judge people by their physical attributes, it must be because you feel yours are inadequate.
The vast majority of people know it's wrong to judge people by their physical attributes.
Many of us here on the thread took it as a good joke.
In it's original context, it sounded sneery rather than cheery to me. And I do think there can be a problem with this sort of 'joke' whereby the jokee is forced into a corner of having to pretend that they think it's all a jolly great laugh that the general public makes fun of their giant nose or their obesity, because the minute they say 'Just leave me alone, will you', there is an identified weakness, the scent of blood, and the crowd pounces, and then you REALLY won't ever hear the end of it.
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Anoesis did not.
S/He was either pissed off about something else, or has been harassed on this topic b4 so didn't let it ride.
There is a third possibility, that I can imagine (to some extent) what something might be like for someone without having been there myself. But there would be nothing to mock in that, would there?
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
One does wonder however why some of us get offended at certain things and others do not.
Well, how would you feel if someone suggested that you were unfit to fill some (or any) kind of role because of the size, or colour, or texture, of your labia? You might laugh, I suppose, because it would be so patently ridiculous - but the thing with penis size and it's (putative) association with other qualities has a great deal of cultural mythology behind it, and continues, I believe, to have subscribers, despite it being in fact as entirely stupid as judging someone on the physical characteristics of their labia. Does that annoy me? Yeah. Note: annoy rather than offend. There is no mention of offense in my OP.
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
Rhymes with alive, evidently.
As in "I swive my wives every other day". (This, obviously, is only applicable in jurisdictions permitting polygamy).
This would be a perfect example of better stuff to worry about. Thanks, I was wondering that, myself.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
but the thing with penis size and it's (putative) association with other qualities has a great deal of cultural mythology behind it, and continues, I believe, to have subscribers, despite it being in fact as entirely stupid as judging someone on the physical characteristics of their labia. Does that annoy me? Yeah. Note: annoy rather than offend. There is no mention of offense in my OP.
Glad you're toning it down, but do note that you are talking to a woman about the damage that can be done by cultural mythology. The irony might just cause a disruption in the space-time continuum.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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sebby
Shipmate
# 15147
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
Time for a cup of tea and a lie down, I think anoesis.
Harry just has huge hands.
ETA: we are talking here of the Nudie Prince, are we not?
Normally huge hands are a sign of a big willy.
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sebhyatt
Posts: 1340 | From: yorks | Registered: Sep 2009
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