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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Pocket Money
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Hi Folks
Our kid is just 8...and has mentioned that she might like pocket money.
I'm in favour; it's how we did things when I was a kid, when I used to save up for stuff and was told 'if you don't want it by the time you have the money, you never wanted it in the first place'.
So...where am I pitching it in 2013? For reference, in most people's terms I'm a real tight-a*se, and she's been brought up to think waste and breaking stuff is really out of order. (She's also used to a really cold house...what a wife she'll make one day). But I suspect my vague memory of 10p a week in 197* isn't much help in today's terms.
cheers
Mark
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
So...where am I pitching it in 2013? For reference, in most people's terms I'm a real tight-a*se, and she's been brought up to think waste and breaking stuff is really out of order.
Start by deciding what she's going to be expected to buy with her pocket money, and figure it out from there. So if you currently buy her sweets every now and then, and your plan is that she should now buy her own, you could start with the amount you spend on sweets fr her right now.
If it's some kid of toy, or whatever the latest must-have craze for 8yo girls in the UK is, how often would your tight-arsed self consider it reasonable to buy her one?
On the other hand, according to the Bank of England, 10p in 1970 is worth £1.30 now.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Two words: "Let's Negotiate," were those most often heard of my husband as our 4 girls were growing up. It seemed to have worked in a world where most of their peers were simply given allowances without expecting any kind of chores done in return.
I realized quite quickly, that after the age of 9, they wanted their own music, their own fashion, and birthdays became "events" that were not our idea of fun. Pocket Money was always tied to a list of conditions, including the once weekly room inspection; but if they were working towards some object of desire that was particularly pricey, then we added opportunities for earning cash.
Given that pop stardom relies on the spending of 11 year old girls, I'd say that there are a lot of cashed up pre-teens out there.
Good Luck!
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
When you are negotiating agree what pocket money covers. It might not just be for sweets after all. If any clothes are included, it will have to be higher and if pocket money is to be used to buy presents then it goes up again.
Both of these are the kind of thing girls do more than boys (in my experience as a parent). It is worth opening a bank account of some kind, for cheques sent as presents and to enable parents keep track of what has been paid out.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
I think you need to start small, with the amount of pocket money that's appropriate for the things she wants but doesn't need. The amount would depend on how much you spend now on this type of thing for her.
When she gets used to handling this amount, then give her enough to cover necessary expenses, such as lunch.
Start her at the shallow end, and let her work her way to the deeper end.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
My allowance was 10 cents, which would buy a comic book. Today comic books cost a lot more than 10 cents. (And I have no idea if they are still as popular with kids.)
I agree with discuss what the money needs are. And is there expectation of saving some for holiday/vacation expenses and Christmas gifts for family, or does that training come a little later?
My weekly allowance included a dime to give to church. (We went to church every Sunday.) I guess they were trying to teach giving, but since giving that dime was not discretionary it didn't really feel like *I* was giving it instead of spending it. Still, it taught a habit of putting some money in the plate.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
8 year old girl? No other siblings?
I think a two pound coin would be more than adequate for things she wants but you don't always supply.
There should be an understanding that gift monies and such should be banked (either a real one, or the bank of Mummy and Daddy with a proper accounting sheet set up on the computer). If she is old enough to have her own discretionary money, and needs more, then she should be given the opportunity to earn, appropriately to her age.
Caveat: Grumpy old fart whose younger child is on her way to her 39th birthday
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
When I was a kid our pocket money was linked to what chores we did round the house - no chores, no money. Then when we hit 13 we were given our child benefit every month but then we were expected to buy all out clothes, make up and anything else we wanted. Personally I spent it all on fags so that probably wasn't ideal.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
We started pocket money when our girl was 5 because it cut down on the number of arguments in shops: 'You can buy that with your own money if you want to, but I am not buying it for you with mine'. She spends it on toys and books mostly, though once she blew about six weeks' pocket money on a pair of shoes - shoes would normally come out of the housekeeping, but these were fancy party shoes that she Did Not Need and I thought they were overpriced (Yes, I am that heartless).
If you want her to buy her own comics/magazines, most of them are £2.50-£3 nowadays.
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
We explained compound interest and how banks work. I think this at about the age you're referred to, grade 3, about 8. Spending money, investing and bank accounts must go together. We had them investing within trust accounts at the same time, $25 is enough to open a mutual fund account.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
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Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I was thanked by one of my sons that we'd never given them so much money that they considered getting into drugs!
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ad Orientem
Shipmate
# 17574
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Posted
Back in the mid-eighties when I was about eight or nine I used to get one pound a week. I used to buy five packs of Panini football stickers and fifty pence worth of penny sweets. What that be in today's money, a fiver a week? I think that's pretty fair.
[ 10. April 2013, 16:37: Message edited by: Ad Orientem ]
Posts: 2606 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2013
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
£1 a week - which can be boosted if she does something around the house (say, keeps her room tidy and vaccuumed) to £2.
Why? Something like a full-sized Mars bar is around 70p and a comic comes in around £1.
If she takes the lesser money option she'll still have 20p+ to save towards larger things. Buy her a money box so she can see the fruits of thrift mounting up.
If she goes for doing the work to earn the larger amount then insist on a set amount being saved - I'd be tempted to say the whole of the extra £1 and take her to a bank or building society to open up an account where this can be deposited regularly - say every 1 or 2 months.
That then brings on explaining what happens to her money: so explain interest - she "lends" the bank her money and they "pay" her x to let them lend it to other people. She can get her money back when she needs it but it will be safe from burglars.
All or most money presents from grandparents and Godparents can be put into the account, too. By the time she's 16 she'll have a little nest-egg AND should have learned that saving up is relatively painless - deferred gratification, don't you know!
My children grasped the basics at 7 or so and, now at university, have no problems with budgeting and living within their means - which they put down to learning moneysense at an early age.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
Like Jane R we started pocket money with our daughter early because she showed her shopaholic tendencies at a very young age and always wanted to buy something if we went out somewhere - often just a pencil or a rubber, but for some reason this always annoyed Mr Nen intensely. ![[Confused]](confused.gif) So it was a case of "If you want it you can buy it with your own money."
You do need to discuss what the pocket money is expected to cover and decide the amount accordingly. I strongly believe that, unless they're spending it on drink or drugs or other things you don't want them to have, a certain amount of pocket money/allowance should be unconditional. If they're saving up for something special it's pretty tough to lose a week's money because a parent has decided they haven't cleaned their room properly. Ours could earn extra by helping with chores. We had savings accounts for them too, mainly topped up by the grandparents, but that money wasn't for daily spending - Nenlet1 used some of hers to buy her first car. Nenlet2 hasn't used any of his yet.
I'd suggest £2 a week as a start for an 8 year old these days - as the unconditional bit - if it's just to cover sweets and the odd magazine. If it's to include clothes or haircuts it would need to be more.
Nen - for whom the house is seldom warm enough. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
A friend used quite an unusual method with her children - they were told they could have anything they liked as long as they saved half the money themselves. Then their parents would stump up the other half.
Obviously, if they wanted something quite cheap, it was easy to get, but for the more expensive games and equipment, as they got older, it involved a lot of hard work to save up.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Thanks for all your good ideas, folks, and for taking the time to post them. Before posting, I _had_ thought that £1 a week was a bit much for a young kid's discretionary spending...but then I did say I was a tight-ar*e. Thanks for your perspective - I think that's where we'll start.
Now, the party is tomorrow, on a space theme. Must go and perfect the vinegar+baking soda rocket activity. Back yard smells like a chip shop already.
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Uriel
Shipmate
# 2248
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Posted
Mine are aged 7 and 9, and both get £1 a week. It may seem a lot, but it isn't. My son fell in love with a small plush dinosaur toy in the local museum, and saved for 8 weeks so he would have the £8 to buy it.
For both of them, when they first had pocket money they felt a sense of liberation, and wanted to spend it as soon as they had it. But within a month or so the realisation kicked in and a more healthy attitude to money has come about. It now means that if they want something it isn't "how much can we emotionally blackmail Mum and Dad" but "do I really want to give up 5 weeks pocket money for that?"
And we don't connect the money to them doing things around the house. They'll be working for large chunks of their life - pocket money is for them to make some financial decisions of their own, not an introduction to the labour market, and is given because they are loved, not because it is earned.
Posts: 687 | From: Somerset, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942
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Posted
Cost of living and luxuries varies according to where you live, but some of the amounts talked about seem about right to me.
However, in a Christian family at least, that should be the remaining 40% of the total after
- 10% is taken out for the child to give in the offering at church each week.
- 10% is taken out for the child to give to some other charity they choose (with a bit of parental guidance if necessary) and matched by each parent.
- 40% is saved.
It's important to teach children the importance of having control over money right from the first time they begin to interact with it, otherwise they'll quickly learn to allow money to have control over them.
I agree that some sort of mutual responsibility as part of the agreement is good - keeping their bedroom tidy is a fair responsibility for an 8 year old that doesn't go too far into being labour. As they grow older, increased amounts of pocket money should also come with increased levels of responsibility which also come in handy as good opportunities to teach household skills which will become necessary as they grow older, such as helping a parent with doing the dishes or washing the car.
If all parents matched privileges with responsibilities in this manner then there wouldn't be the need for youth ministry leaders like me to teach youth as old as 15 how to do basic household tasks like washing/drying dishes or cleaning a toilet for the first time at Easter Camp each year!
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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?
Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006
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