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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: When one is just not enough....?!
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
As I'm still quite new to the ship, please forgive me if this should be in the dead horses locker and please would someone move it for me if purgatory is not where it fits.
I've just returned from a day's work in rural Kenya where a team of us (all Kenyans except for me and my husband) were facilitating a community mediation. On the return journey I commented on the fact that the wife of one of the local dignitaries was considerably younger than him...."Yes, she's his third wife."
There then followed an amazingly full and frank exchange concerning polygamy and the church. We came from three different denominations and the the experiences and stances on this topic were a real eye opener and encouragingly gracious in how they were expressed. Now I know that this a different culture from my own and I also know that all sorts of damage has been done in the past as regards how this topic has been handled. My friends here hold differing opinions on polygamy and appear able to work together in spite of those differences.It's really got me thinking again about how we live out our faith and the pragmatics of church leadership.
I'm still processing it all but I thought it would be worth asking what other people think?
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
quote:
I'm still processing it all but I thought it would be worth asking what other people think?
Could you perhaps narrow it down a bit? Are you asking what people think about polygamy? Or what they think about encountering practices different from their own culture? Or...?
As a westerner living in a non-western culture(Korea), I don't encounter much, if anything, that would be considered totally off-the-wall from a mainstream western perspective. With the few things I have encountered that "rub me the wrong way", so to speak, I basically just remind myself that I'm a foreigner here, no one's forcing me to stay, and if I'm really truly bothered by anything, I can always go home.
But, as I say, nothing has really pushed my buttons to that extent.
[ 17. May 2013, 22:04: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Laurelin
Shipmate
# 17211
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Posted
I find polygamy rather sexist but not immoral - unless one views sexism as immoral, of course.
It's not a system I would want to be part of in a million years.
I do not think it is the biblical ideal - the creation ordinance is clear, one man, one woman - but people aren't condemned for it in the Bible either. I can see how in a cross-cultural situation you would have to practise all kinds of sensitivities.
So I wouldn't judge anyone in that kind of set-up, especially in another culture. But it's not something I would want for myself ...
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"I fear that to me Siamese cats belong to the fauna of Mordor." J.R.R. Tolkien
Posts: 545 | From: The Shire | Registered: Jul 2012
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Gramps49
Shipmate
# 16378
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Posted
One thing I have discovered is there is no where in the Bible that says monogamy is the only form of marriage that is permissible. About the only passage that comes close is in is in 1 Timothy 3 where the epistle writer says the bishop should have only one wife.
It is too bad we have tried to impose our western values on cultures who think nothing of polygamy.
I would much rather have a man and his three wives worshiping together than the same man having two wives out in the bush not being cared for.
Posts: 2193 | From: Pullman WA | Registered: Apr 2011
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Horseman Bree
Shipmate
# 5290
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Posted
ISTM that the NT has more about respecting and providing for the wife/wives than it does about how many there should be.
The specific mention by Jesus of divorce was framed in terms of not leaving the woman destitute.
Polygamy was/is quite common in some cultures. The Koran also says more about being able to afford to keep wives than it does about the number (although I think the upper limit is four in that case, which certainly allows for more than one)
Are there any polyandrous cultures at present?
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It's Not That Simple
Posts: 5372 | From: more herring choker than bluenose | Registered: Dec 2003
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
I'm sure there are Kenyan women organisations who work on this subject. Maybe you could ask their opinion?
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
Where in Kenya, if you don't mind me asking?
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
Actually it isn't that uncommon to find a successful man with a younger third wife in many Western countries. They even run for - and some times win - political office. We just practice serial polygamy rather than keeping them all at the same time.
You could make an argument that requiring a man to keep his previous wife/wives when he takes a new young one is to their advantage in a culture where otherwise they would starve or have to go into prostitution. But that doesn't say a lot for the value of women in such a culture.
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
Quick answer to you all in order (as I still haven't mastered the quoting technique because our internet connection is really dodgy and cuts in and out)
Yes to be more specific: what do we think about polygamy and having decided that, how do we go about making ethical decisions about things that are very different from our own culture as I think it has implications for how we live within that culture as well? I knew about various things in African culture from previous visits but actually living here gives more time for reflection and I'm learning so much.
I agree with all the comments that have been made and have all of this stuff and more reverberating around my head...
What's more interesting is that Kenya is in a time of rapid change so there is some legislation in place about this, women are slowly being empowered and at the same time traditional practices like polygamy are still very much part of the culture.
We have seen this throughout north west Kenya where we are based, Ken and I'm sure it's elsewhere (especially in the rural areas) but have no real information to offer.
From what we've heard, sometimes there are wives and children living in separate houses from one another, not altogether.
It's such a challenge figuring out when things are crossing into territory such as sexism regardless of where you are living!
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Laurelin:
I find polygamy rather sexist but not immoral - unless one views sexism as immoral, of course.
It's not a system I would want to be part of in a million years.
I do not think it is the biblical ideal - the creation ordinance is clear, one man, one woman - but people aren't condemned for it in the Bible either. I can see how in a cross-cultural situation you would have to practise all kinds of sensitivities.
So I wouldn't judge anyone in that kind of set-up, especially in another culture. But it's not something I would want for myself ...
Polygyny is having more than one wife, polyandry is having more than one husband. Polygamy is gender-neutral so not inherently sexist (although in practice polygyny is the most common form).
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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