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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » You lousy fuckers all suck dirty stanky ass. every last one of you. (Page 1)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: You lousy fuckers all suck dirty stanky ass. every last one of you.
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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What the fuck is the matter with all of you?

when I came back as a hellhost, I had one measly little requirement. ONE. That you give me something interesting to read.

the last few weeks... months? have been terrible. you all flunk at being unrestful hellions. From the evidence in hell, you're all singing Kum-by-yah and rubbing each other with patchouli and having group hugs. Fuck you. Am I to believe some sarcasm-resistant strain of eccumenicalism has broken loose amongst the masses and is racing though the denominations wrecking peace and understanding wherever it goes? oh PAH-leez.

you all hate each other. admit it. tap that vein - the one full of bile and hatred and misunderstanding. even better, tap the rich one that tells you how goddamn RIGHT you have it and how everyone else is wrong.

You know you want to.

turn to the person next to you, look deep into their eyes, and find their faults. tell them all about those faults in excruciating detail and let the feathers fly.

Can't do it? still brimming with brotherly-motherfucking-love? then by all that is good and holy have a fit about the state of the world! Jesus Christ Cookie Cutters, you can't tell me we've reached motherfucking Nirvana and somehow I missed it - WHY ARE NONE OF YOU PISSED OFF?!?

people are bombing each other and starving children and regulating your God-Given Guns and even - Christ Almighty! - raising taxes and you're all sitting here getting your rocks off on civil discourse?

I don't buy it. I think you're all afraid of being human in front of each other. you think it makes you look like a better person if you're all in control. what twaddle. I'm completely out of control and I'M GREAT!

oh, fuck off.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Get a hobby.
I'll pray for you dear sister.

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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you jerks were supposed to BE my hobby.

now I have to take up knitting or knife throwing or something.

sucks.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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If you have a little more time on your hands, (and congrats/that's sucks all at once), why not write your story of how you got to where you are now.

Then illustrate it with rude pictures. [Razz]

In hell, it is probably easier to take up knife catching than throwing.

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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All very well for you my little Alaskan firecracker arms on you like Popeye from throwing out drunks and wrasslin' bars - but some of us were brought up in civilisation and it shows.

It's not that I cannot but conclude the bulk of humanity to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth, it's just that as I go to tell one of them so I have a faint unease that I am about to tug the thread that will unravel the whole social contract.

Also mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens - gods themselves struggle in vain against stupidity. If the shrill, arrogant, smug, pissant, wall-eyed, reactionary, mysogynist, bigoted, psychopathic fuckwit* had the capacity to be other than they are, surely they would. What's the use?

*composite portrait

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Thank god you said composite portrait. I was thinking 'I'm not shrill'.

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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Everything you say there is absolutely true comet .
Only trouble is, when you put things the way only you can, I can't help but love you all the more for it .

But just for you I'll post a great big FUCK OFF [Axe murder]

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged
would love to belong
Shipmate
# 16747

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I'd be too scared to post here.

Oops, just done it [Paranoid]

Posts: 331 | From: Lost and confused | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Comet - this is hell. You wanted us to be nice to you and give you something decent to read.

We didn't, just to wind you up.

Ha! We win. Loser.

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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{From a time-traveling, Victorian telegraph office...}

Dear Comet (stop}

Bad weather up there today? {stop}

Hobby for you: Subversive Stitching! {stop}

Cookie Cutter Jesus? {stop} There must be some online. {stop} Put them in Gadgets for God. {stop}

Go to bed now, and count all the delightfully insulting words you know. {stop} You'll feel much more grouchy in the morning. {stop}

[Snigger]

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Cross stitch maybe.

Frigging iPhones - best I can do.

[ 10. August 2013, 09:07: Message edited by: Patdys ]

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Ahem. The link above is for *Sublime* Stitching.


Our Comet is more suited for SUBVERSIVE Cross Stitch.

Apologies! I had the name of the site wrong, and was automatically taken to Sublime Stitching. [Hot and Hormonal]

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
fletcher christian

Mutinous Seadog
# 13919

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Fixed that for ya

--------------------
'God is love insaturable, love impossible to describe'
Staretz Silouan

Posts: 5235 | From: a prefecture | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351

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Dear God someone needs to get laid/rub one out.

--------------------
Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)

Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Snags:
Dear God someone needs to get laid/rub one out.

It's has to be all about you, doesn't it?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Clint Boggis
Shipmate
# 633

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Bored firefighter turns to arson?
.

Posts: 1505 | From: south coast | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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Not sure if he was offering Firenze.

[ 10. August 2013, 11:10: Message edited by: rolyn ]

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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Not sure that Firenze is his to offer, rolyn.

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Was this thread meant to show us how it's done? [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Oh it's only comet. There was me thinking Pyx_e was having one of his turns again.

Closes eyes and goes back to sleep. Zzzzzzzz. [Snore]

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
people are bombing each other and starving children and regulating your God-Given Guns and even - Christ Almighty! - raising taxes and you're all sitting here getting your rocks off on civil discourse?

Precisely. People are bombing each other and children are starving and the world is full of crap (and unsung acts of heroism and unselfish generosity, though never enough) and you want us to start being horrible to each other for your entertainment?
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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Well, I guess the Fluffy Bunnies can have rants, too.

I'm so angry at (let me think...) the sockeye salmon that cost me an arm and a leg, and it was bad!

*grunt* *squirm* *fart* *thinking of appropriate swear words*

Naughty words are going to come out of my fingers! Yes!

  • Rats.
  • Darn.
  • PooPoo Face.
  • Intercourse.

Yes, I said intercourse on a public web site for all to see.

--------------------
Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
people are bombing each other and starving children and regulating your God-Given Guns and even - Christ Almighty! - raising taxes and you're all sitting here getting your rocks off on civil discourse?

Precisely. People are bombing each other and children are starving and the world is full of crap (and unsung acts of heroism and unselfish generosity, though never enough) and you want us to start being horrible to each other for your entertainment?
It's what Hell is for. We already have two threads that are All Saints + foul & abusive language and it's all I can do to stop TICTH turning into a chat show.

FWIW I reckon the peanut gallery has taken over. [Frown]

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
It's what Hell is for.

Yes, but why do we have to be gratuitously annoyed on demand when many of us aren't actually annoyed/don't have the emotional energy to be angry after a week at work/commuting/whatever or maybe life really isn't too bad anyway?

Besides, anger is a snare and a delusion and the flip side of depression and all that. And it's the weekend. I don't want to spend my weekend being annoyed. [Mad]

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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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Ma's out, Pa's out, let's talk rude,
Pee, po, belly, bum, drawers,
Dance in the garden in the nude,
Pee, po, belly, bum, drawers,

Flanders and Swann.

I don't know any more - we never had that record.

Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Ma's out, Pa's out, let's talk rude,
Pee, po, belly, bum, drawers,
Dance in the garden in the nude,
Pee, po, belly, bum, drawers,

Flanders and Swann.

I don't know any more - we never had that record.

Enjoy.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Snags:
Dear God someone needs to get laid/rub one out.

It's has to be all about you, doesn't it?
Hey, don't blame me for the natural order of things.

--------------------
Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)

Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged
basso

Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:

I don't know any more - we never had that record.

Enjoy.
Too nice. Now comet'll be triple-pissed.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Mere Nick
Shipmate
# 11827

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
[QB] All very well for you my little Alaskan firecracker

That's fire caucasian, please. Thank you.

--------------------
"Well that's it, boys. I've been redeemed. The preacher's done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting's my reward."
Delmar O'Donnell

Posts: 2797 | From: West Carolina | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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OK, the OP is all well and good-- it's a rant, and subject to the same rules as any other rant, and I see that the Hellions are treating it as such,but this bugs me:

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Precisely. People are bombing each other and children are starving and the world is full of crap (and unsung acts of heroism and unselfish generosity, though never enough) and you want us to start being horrible to each other for your entertainment?

It's what Hell is for.
Where on earth did you get that idea?

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
OK, the OP is all well and good-- it's a rant, and subject to the same rules as any other rant, and I see that the Hellions are treating it as such,but this bugs me:

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Precisely. People are bombing each other and children are starving and the world is full of crap (and unsung acts of heroism and unselfish generosity, though never enough) and you want us to start being horrible to each other for your entertainment?

It's what Hell is for.
Where on earth did you get that idea?
Consider yourself bugged, dear bunny.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Oh, were you joking? Silly of me not to see that.

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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You, who claim hell is for behaving badly, that is your retort? Perhaps 'tis not the guests who fail the party, but the hosts.

Aimed at SS, not the killer bunny.

[ 10. August 2013, 19:11: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
You, who claim hell is for behaving badly, that is your retort? Perhaps 'tis not the guests who fail the party, but the hosts.

Aimed at SS, not the killer bunny.

Fair call and setting the tone is within our remit, so pass me the spoon and I'll keep stirring.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Mere Nick:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
[QB] All very well for you my little Alaskan firecracker

That's fire caucasian, please. Thank you.
What the buggeration are you on about?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by Mere Nick:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
[QB] All very well for you my little Alaskan firecracker

That's fire caucasian, please. Thank you.
okay, that shit was funny!

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Mere Nick:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
[QB] All very well for you my little Alaskan firecracker

That's fire caucasian, please. Thank you.
What the buggeration are you on about?
perhaps a slightly obscure american perjoritive. (click the first link under "people") I only learned it last year. mah poor naive lil' northerner self.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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[Big Grin]

..Ok, now you seem to be in a good mood. Did you, in fact, get laid?
I understand "none of your fucking business" is probably the response I'll get, but I had to ask.

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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if only.

I'm under the influence of a sunbeam and balinese coffee and fresh picked blueberries. it mellows me. like valium.

I'm considering a night hike to celebrate my ex turning forty and thus hitting geezerhood a little before me. it helps that he's going bald and appears pregnant.

I still say this place has been more boring than watching paint peel lately.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
The Midge
Shipmate
# 2398

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May be you could try ice skating?

Or change the tag line to "Thermal underwear recommended"?

--------------------
Some days you are the fly.
On other days you are the windscreen.

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
if only.

I'm under the influence of a sunbeam and balinese coffee and fresh picked blueberries. it mellows me. like valium.

I'm considering a night hike to celebrate my ex turning forty and thus hitting geezerhood a little before me. it helps that he's going bald and appears pregnant.

I still say this place has been more boring than watching paint peel lately.

We can always gnaw on Bingo for a while. He seems to be going for the gold medal in Douche lately.

(also-- Coffee.Good idea.)

[ 10. August 2013, 21:05: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
  • Intercourse.

Yes, I said intercourse on a public web site for all to see.

HOLY FUCK! Will you watch your goddam mouth, woman?

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Can we just clarify which is the euphemism please.

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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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All I know is a lot of us could use a holy fuck. Secular fucks are just so--- spiritually lacking.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Sorry, after 18 hours moonlighting, I just don't have one to give.*

* I don't mean it in that way smutmeister.

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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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My schoolgirl dreams are dashed, Pissy.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
IngoB

Sentire cum Ecclesia
# 8700

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
We can always gnaw on Bingo for a while.

You invoke me on a hell thread where comet complains about boredom? You must hate her oh ... so ... much ...

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They’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipp’d for lying; and sometimes I am whipp’d for holding my peace. - The Fool in King Lear

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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Fuck, Bingo, I hate it when you make me laugh!
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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[Big Grin] Yeah, I gotta give him that one.

Sorry, Comet.


Kind of.

You're still being uber-douchey lately, Bingo. I'm not going to get into specifics with you, just note the general douchiness. The Angel Gabriel himself is gonna come down and smack you in the head if you don't engage in some self-reflection. Just the Word of the Lord from your Sister in Christ. And also with you.

[ 10. August 2013, 22:41: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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comet wants entertainment and you're telling IngoB to dial down the douche factor? Next you'll be telling me I have to make some kind of minimal effort to be a better Christian and get along with him, and comet will die of boredom.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged



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