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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Anyone for a Pantoum?

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Anyone for a Pantoum?
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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You may feel, shipmates, that we are perilously close to drowning in a plethora of poetical forms, but I plead with you to bear with me patiently. I'm very partial to a good pantoum - well, any pantoum really. As a form, it may seem a tad mechanical, but you get more freedom in some respects – particularly in terms of overall length and the results can be surprising.

There's a good explanation, with examples, here. But I'll try to summarise:

Stanza 1
Line 1 (a)
Line 2 (b)
Line 3 (a)
Line 4 (b)

Stanza 2
Line 5=2 (b)
Line 6 (c)
Line 7=4 (b)
Line 8 (c)

Stanza 3
Line 9=6 (c)
Line 10 (d)
Line 11=8 (c)
Line 12 (d)

You can go on like this for as long as you like, but the last stanza is as follows

Stanza Z
Line Z1 = 2nd line of previous stanza
Line Z2= line 3 (of stanza 1) (a)
Line Z3 = 4th line of last stanza
Line Z4= line 1 (of stanza 1) (a)

Apparently, there's no specified syllable count, but it's usual to stick to (more or less) the same number of syllables per line.

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Bent and twisted
Means and motive,
Almost fisted
So corrosive.

Means and motive
Holy warlike,
So corrosive
Prophet on a spike

Holy warlike
Useless slaughter
Prophet on a spike
Bloody water

Useless slaughter
Almost fisted
Bloody water
Bent and twisted

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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(I may have been watching the news too much.)

[ 03. August 2014, 19:01: Message edited by: Doublethink ]

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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(The news itself is sometimes too much - and you captured that.)

Proposal?
The scene replays endlessly in my head.
That juke box choice: surely not innocent.
A longed-for invitation to your bed.
And yet – could that really be what you meant?

That juke box choice: surely not innocent.
The shoreline vanished. I was too far out -
And yet – could that really be what you meant?
I sat trapped by indecision and doubt.

The shoreline vanished. I was too far out -
No bearings taken, no sense of feeling;
I sat trapped by indecision and doubt.
The suddenness of it all – mind reeling.

No bearings taken, no sense of feeling;
Had I told someone that I fancied you?
The suddenness of it all – mind reeling.
I scarcely knew myself if it was true.

Had I told someone that I fancied you?
And suddenly it all seemed so absurd.
I scarcely knew myself: if it was true,
I could not find the necessary word.

And suddenly it all seemed so absurd:
That longed-for invitation to your bed.
I could not find the necessary word.
The scene replays endlessly in my head.

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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They are killing the people of the peacock angel,
The children are dying in the mountains
It is the story of ancient conflicts the headlines tell
The zealots purify with fire and what remains ?

The children are dying in the mountains
Melek Taus would not bow to Adam or to ISIS
The zealots purify with fire and what remains ?
In his defiance, his apotheosis

Melek Taus would not bow to Adam or to ISIS
Who will save the devotees of Shaytan ?
In his defiance, his apotheosis
May his tears fall to quench the evil in the heart of man.

Who will save the devotees of Shaytan ?
It is the story of ancient conflicts the headlines tell
May his tears fall to quench the evil in the heart of man.
For they are killing the people of the peacock angel.

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged


 
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