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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Redecorating Hell (or Hull)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Redecorating Hell (or Hull)
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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* 've always wanted to redo the decor in Hell. Red is so not now.

* 'm thinking natural rock in a disappearing puce colour. What else shall we do?

[ 21. September 2014, 08:07: Message edited by: Firenze ]

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719

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Ribbons and cushions. Maybe some arty pebbles and candles?

The Styx always seems to be a bit plain and boring. Needs a touch of urban chic.

Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Lucia

Looking for light
# 15201

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Shouldn't there be some kind of piped background music in Hell? Maybe "Shine Jesus Shine" on a continual loop?

[ 18. September 2014, 08:21: Message edited by: Lucia ]

Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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Bagpiped music, of course.
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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719

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Bagpipes playing SJS. Perfect.
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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Crap spouted by Banner Lady:
* 've always wanted to redo the decor in Hell. Red is so not now.

* 'm thinking natural rock in a disappearing puce colour. What else shall we do?

If you're working up a banner, it should include a potential weapon of SOME kind. We're prepared to forego the pitchfork for something more modern.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719

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An ice cream fork?
Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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* 've never been to Hull. How much in need of redecorating is it, on a scale of 1-10?

Thanks in advance.

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
We're prepared to forego the pitchfork for something more modern.
Sporks are the new pitchfork.
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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My antipodean house was prefabricated in Hull over five decades ago. If it is anything to go by, then probably pretty much everything in Hull will need a makeover. How many of us will it take to do it all in 24 hours, do you think?

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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We should probably send a committee. Hull would certainly welcome us. Should we dress alike so as not to be confused with the Denizens?

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rosa Gallica officinalis
Shipmate
# 3886

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quote:
Crap spouted by Ariel:
* 've never been to Hull. How much in need of redecorating is it, on a scale of 1-10?

Thanks in advance.

about 302

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Come for tea, come for tea, my people.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Crap spouted by jedijudy:
We should probably send a committee. Hull would certainly welcome us. Should we dress alike so as not to be confused with the Denizens?

And so * know where to aim my flamethrower.

Mmmmm….roast bunny! So tasty!

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
Crap spouted by orfeo:
quote:
Crap spouted by Banner Lady:
* 've always wanted to redo the decor in Hell. Red is so not now.

* 'm thinking natural rock in a disappearing puce colour. What else shall we do?

If you're working up a banner, it should include a potential weapon of SOME kind. We're prepared to forego the pitchfork for something more modern.
Duh. A rusty farm implement, natch.

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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To be sure. The other side could feature the image of a syphilitic goat.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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'The Scream' would fit, perfectly.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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Confession: am absolutely fascinated with those shows that do some poor families 'favours' by transforming their homes in an hour or a day or two. Am gobsmacked at the crappy crappy paint jobs and other turdy ideas touted on them. If they turned up at my place thanks to a well meaning relative or friend, meself would confront them with a garden fork and tell them to get the heck off my property.

Hate, hate, hate the beige minimilistic cookie cutter decorating schemes in vogue at present. THAT is my idea of Hades. So Hull would have row after row of eaveless concrete plastered shoeboxes in greys and other nothingness colours with absolutely no personality whatsoever.

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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quote:
Crap spouted by Ariston:
quote:
Crap spouted by jedijudy:
We should probably send a committee. Hull would certainly welcome us. Should we dress alike so as not to be confused with the Denizens?

And so * know where to aim my flamethrower.

Mmmmm….roast bunny! So tasty!

Now, now...somebunny wuvs you, Snookums!! [Axe murder]

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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* swear, reading this thread with the recent typeface change is the visual equivalent of artificial fingernails on a chalkboard.

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
BrownOwl135
Apprentice
# 18054

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* live in Hull - it has been my adopted home for many years and love it here. Such a shame it has crap city status - and yes, lots of redecorated needed (maybe even demol***ing some areas)
Posts: 2 | From: Kingston Upon Hull | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Crap spouted by BrownOwl135:
* live in Hull - it has been my adopted home for many years and love it here. Such a shame it has crap city status - and yes, lots of redecorated needed (maybe even demol***ing some areas)

TBF, the original thread title referred to Hell. But * changed it (and all the other first page titles) Because * Can (and it's H&A Day).

But OTOH doesn't the old refrain go - From Hull and Hell and Halifax/ Good Lord deliver me?

[ 19. September 2014, 09:08: Message edited by: Firenze ]

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QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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A white telephone box (on a white background, natch) behind the caretaker-chap with the toasting fork?

P.S. The Halifax was a type of scaffold. Not many people know that (and maybe less care).

[ 19. September 2014, 17:11: Message edited by: QLib ]

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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Gosh one learns interesting stuff on this website. Last week it was 'tontine'. This week it's 'halifax'. In my part of the world, a Tontine is a pillow. Always just assumed that was the name of the chap who started the pillow company, but not so.

Hull must therefore have lots of pillows. Far too many for practical usage. Every bed shall have at least 9 on them, to drive the owners crackers when they want to actually lie down.

[ 19. September 2014, 19:41: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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And pebbledash. Remember back in the 70's when every swimming pool was surrounded by pebbled concrete? It was the oouchiest stuff to walk on then, and now it's made a comeback. The concrete shoeboxes seem to love having pebbledash front paths. It's FUGLY, people. And it will crack and look daggy. And it still hurts to walk on it. Hull will therefore have lots of it.

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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Candles. Don't get me started on scented candles in bathrooms. Or bedrooms. Or any small space that people live in. Don't fashion designers read the news? Or science reports?
Most of us like candles in worship spaces. But for a brief time, and made of beeswax.

If we were each to post an emoticon in Hell for every story we've heard of a building burning down or someone being badly burned because of a mood candle being left unextingu***ed, then methinks the place would be full of emoticons. Now there's a hellbent thought.... [Big Grin] [Yipee] [Devil]

[ 19. September 2014, 21:42: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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Another Hellmade must in every house in Hull: air fresheners. You know, the ones advertised that are so all pervasive that you can happily leave all your putrid stuff lying about because all you will smell will be the synthetic ocean breeze. WTF? Just deal with the putrid stuff, you bozos.

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Crap spouted by Banner Lady:
Candles. Don't get me started on scented candles in bathrooms. Or bedrooms.

Here in Hell, we have quite a few scented candles. They add such a delightful ambiance when combined with recordings of the screams of the damned in the Lake of Fire. It's also not exactly like we have to worry about things burning down here in the Realm of the Eternal Fire of God's Holy Wrath—pretty much everything left is fireproof anyway at this point.

Of course, beeswax isn't our thing—more rendered tallow harvested from putrefying corpses—and brimstone's our preferred scent, though hot pitch will do when you *have* to have some variety. Gardenia doesn't go so well with tortured screaming, you see.

(ETA: the Comic Sans just makes the above That Much Better)

[ 19. September 2014, 22:51: Message edited by: Ariston ]

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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Hull must have plenty of hot liquids. Being in ***land, this must obviously be tea. This sort of tea.

Really folks, you should buy Australian organic teas. You know they are good when you drive past the tea fields in North Queensland and they are covered with big blue Ulysses butterflies. The insects know what's sweet. Taste the difference, and leave the Chinese green tea in Hull.

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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What else should the houses in Hull have? Enormously heavy vacuum cleaners with a bucket full of attachments that are never used. Hats off to whoever invented the "turbo-head". You know, that stupidly expensive extra you paid for to get rid of all the pet hair, and that packed it in one day after the warranty expired.

And they shall all have cords that are too short to do anything other than one room at a time. Every cupboard in the house will be just that little bit too small to accommodate this state-of-the-art beast, so you have to leave it in the garage and trek out to get it and haul it up to the house when needed. The perfect appliance for Hell.

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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Or if you do get a small mobile one it does approximately 3 sq ft of carpet before it develops a temperature and has to lie down quietly for a day or so plus have all its filters bathed in Perrier water before it can even think of tackling so much as another cobweb.
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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I think the moral of this thread is that you cud find anething in Hull, as ane fule kno.

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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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This is true. Even Banner Lady. Must be the most time I've spent in Hell ever since joining SoF, and have survived redecorating it without having an argument with anyone. Miracle? I think so. Thanks to all the hosts for the entertaining switcheroos. [Overused]

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged


 
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