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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Helpful advice to make life more pleasant
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
After an unfortunate event at breakfast this moning, I wondered what good advice others may have for a pleasant life. Here is my offering to start things off.
Do not start your morning ritual of a dozen or so substantial sneezes if you have a mouthful of rolled oats and blueberries. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
A mouthful of soft-boiled egg can also create problems.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
When out for a walk, look up: there are beautiful things to be seen.
But also look down: there is poo to be stepped in.
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
Take time to smell the flowers, but make sure there are no bees in them first.
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
A swig of fruit squash is best avoided immediately after brushing one's teeth.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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BroJames
Shipmate
# 9636
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Posted
Be careful to distinguish, in your early morning state, between your deodorant stick and your shaver.
Posts: 3374 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2005
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
On the whole, brushing your teeth with your partner's hair removal cream is not a good idea...
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
Having your SAD light in front of you does absolutely no good if you forget to switch it on.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Equally: not riding your exercise bike is far more relaxing.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
Do not leap out of a car before unfastening the seat belt.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
In the heat of a tight backgammon match, pay attention to what cup you have in your hand, lest you drink your dice or roll your beer.
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 3259 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
When using a public lavatory, make sure there is a supply of toilet tissue before sitting down.
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
If you're thinking of making a comment, but you think it might be something you'll have to apologize for afterwards, you're probably right.
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
If at all possible, try to hold back on snapping at people first thing, even if you have reason to do so. The sour taste can last all day.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sparrow:
When using a public lavatory, make sure there is a supply of toilet tissue before sitting down.
Actually, check there is actually any water in the cistern or in the taps. The latter before you cover you hands in liquid soap.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
When posting on the internet, don't <send>. When talking in RL, hold your tongue.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
"Engage brain before putting mouth I gear" - my youngest brother.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Before exploding in anger, make sure that there isn't a good reason for the thing you're angry about.
(Tried to visit a local business during their regular hours and found them closed. Was desperate to spend my money there and quite angry that he wasn't honoring his posted hours. Found out later that the owner/operator was so sick he could hardly crawl to the bathroom to puke.)
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
If you won't drive at least 40 MPH, stay off the major city streets and stick to residential neighbourhoods on your golf cart!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
In Microsoft Outlook, it's possible to customize the toolbar so that you can move the Reply All button some distance away from the Reply To button. This reduces the risk of accidentally replying to the world. Potential mishaps and premature delivery can be further minimized by adjusting settings so that email isn't sent instantly, but at an interval of, say, 15 minutes, which gives you time to scoop it back from the outbox if you need to.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
"Engage brain before putting mouth I gear" - my youngest brother.
And check spelling when posting ... ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
[ 15. November 2015, 13:20: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
On the whole, brushing your teeth with your partner's hair removal cream is not a good idea...
A most abominable double entendre...
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
If you have watering eyes, poking yourself in the eye with a handkerchief is unlikely to stop the tears.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Following today's weather warnings and advice not to drive through standing water....
Do not drive through standing flood water. It may look flat on top, but the road may dip beneath. It was a very expensive mistake. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Do not mix up pile cream and deep heat. Either way round.
Also, most people know that you shouldn't rub your eyes after handling hot chillies without thoroughly washing your hands first. However I must emphasise that, for gentlemen at least, it is even more advisable in such circumstances to ensure your hands are washed before going for a wee. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Never try to warm up your bed by using an electric blanket together with a hot-water bottle.
(My mother used to do that, I was horrified but nothing ever happened).
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
For clergy: ensure that your radio microphone is switched off before you go to the toilet/hear confessions/grouch about a member of your church.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Do not mix up pile cream and deep heat. Either way round.
Also, most people know that you shouldn't rub your eyes after handling hot chillies without thoroughly washing your hands first. However I must emphasise that, for gentlemen at least, it is even more advisable in such circumstances to ensure your hands are washed before going for a wee.
We used to share produce from the markets with another family who passed some chillies on to a friend. He had no idea about the need for your advice. Friend was rung with plaintive questions about what to do to relieve pain. He told his friend to wash in milk and then rub affected part with a cut cucumber. I think it worked but was a hard lesson.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
If you are wearing cream-coloured trousers, do not use the urinals. Nomatter how careful you are, splashback will occur.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Do not mix up pile cream and deep heat. Either way round.
In a similar vein a friend once related that her short sighted husband without his glasses on had applied spot cream instead of contraceptive cream to her diaphragm (white tubes all look similar in a myopic blur!) Fortunately he then realised his mistake. She remarked that it was in fact a remarkably good contraceptive as after this mix up they found they had gone off the idea anyway!
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
My sister-in-law once had a rush of blood to the paws and put superglue rather than conjunctivitis cream onto my nephew's eyelid ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
Mercifully there were no adverse consequences *phew*
Mrs. S, only glad it was T not me!
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
Do not take a drink of water out of the bathroom glass in the middle of the night without turning a light on. There may be a spider in it.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
It was seeing DIL's little Abyssinian drinking from DIL's water glass beside her bed which made me switch to using a water bottle.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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cattyish
Wuss in Boots
# 7829
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Posted
Run first, worry later. Alternatively bake first, worry later or sing first, worry later. Basically, when worrying do something practical and either tasty, fun or tiring. I find running fun and tiring, so that's my fix.
Cattyish, slightly startled that I can run after telling everyone for years I couldn't.
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...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Posts: 1794 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jul 2004
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by cattyish:
Run first, worry later. Alternatively bake first, worry later or sing first, worry later. Basically, when worrying do something practical and either tasty, fun or tiring. I find running fun and tiring, so that's my fix.
Cattyish, slightly startled that I can run after telling everyone for years I couldn't.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) love it - and so sensible! (except of course in the middle of the night)
I find that doing anything is better than worrying, except perhaps running - I used to and now I can't
Mrs. S, thanking cattyish for the idea of a tailpiece
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
Do not take a drink of water out of the bathroom glass in the middle of the night without turning a light on. There may be a spider in it.
A friend of ours recounted the story of a very liquid-fuelled stag-party after which he was far too drunk to find the case for his contact-lenses, so he very carefully put one in each of two tumblers of water in the kitchen of the place they were staying. One of his (equally-inebriated) companions came in a little while later, saw the glasses and, in the hope of hangover alleviation, downed the lot ...
Next morning our friend came into the kitchen, feeling much the worse for wear. As he put it: "Not only did I have the worst hangover in recorded history, but this blithering idiot had drunk my contact lenses".
[ 26. November 2015, 03:14: Message edited by: Piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
...Also, most people know that you shouldn't rub your eyes after handling hot chillies without thoroughly washing your hands first. However I must emphasise that, for gentlemen at least, it is even more advisable in such circumstances to ensure your hands are washed before going for a wee.
Some sort of cooking oil is good first, we use a little coconut oil and then wash and all the chilli-oids, or whatever they are, dissolve in the oil - note they do NOT dissolve in water so washing several times may be necessary if there is no oil about.
eta: similarly if ones "parts" get chilli juice on them rubbing on cooking oil can remove the irritation but it is best to do this private or your actions could be misinterpreted.
[ 26. November 2015, 04:38: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
If your children are preparing to leave home, make sure they take down all the posters in their bedroom and remove the blu-tac from walls and ceiling.
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
...Also, most people know that you shouldn't rub your eyes after handling hot chillies without thoroughly washing your hands first. However I must emphasise that, for gentlemen at least, it is even more advisable in such circumstances to ensure your hands are washed before going for a wee.
Some sort of cooking oil is good first, we use a little coconut oil and then wash and all the chilli-oids, or whatever they are, dissolve in the oil - note they do NOT dissolve in water so washing several times may be necessary if there is no oil about.
eta: similarly if ones "parts" get chilli juice on them rubbing on cooking oil can remove the irritation but it is best to do this private or your actions could be misinterpreted.
To perpetuate the tangent slightly, I once got a splatter of oil in an eye when frying chillies, and was terrified by the pain and what it might mean. Fortunately I remembered being told to use milk, so I washed my eyes with milk right away and was soon fine, though a bit shaken. (It turned out to be a good curry, though). I have long since learned to go to the bathroom ahead of chopping chillies. If you see a chef doing an odd little dance with an agonised look on his face, that's what he forgot to do.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
If your boss is a bully and indulges in verbal attacks, don't bother arguing. Stay calm and document the lot to his line manager and HR. With any luck, that should fix him. If it happens more than once, his appraisal should be fun!
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
[coughs] Remember that HR exists to protect the company's ass, not to help YOU. Keep this fact in mind if you seek to involve them in any situation.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
Don't drive in Hertfordshire in peak hours.
Seriously, if you don't life will be better.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
When parking your car in an unfamiliar location or car park, walk away a few paces, then turn, look back and see if you can find a landmark of some kind. Looking back will show you the view you'll be looking for when you try to find the car later on.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
I have friends who take a photo with their cell phone, before they walk away from the car.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
I have done that before. It is a good idea, I think, in many cases.
I think we did it when we parked in Andorra - if we had to ask, the language barrier might have been a problem.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
It is particularly good in those cavernous parking garages where all the levels and spaces look alike.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
[coughs] Remember that HR exists to protect the company's ass, not to help YOU. Keep this fact in mind if you seek to involve them in any situation.
True. I was somewhat spooked to receive an email saying that "they" had chosen me to be part of boss's 360 degree PMR feedback group.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I was impressed by a multistory car park which had a picture beside the number of each level - an orange carrot, a green tree etc, to help those who find it had to remember numbers, but can remember colours, or items. Drivers had a choice between remembering "I'm on level 3 / I'm on the blue level / I'm on the level with apple picture.
I wish they did that here!
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
So long as people don't think you can only park cars of the appropriate colour on each level ... and your car's colour isn't included!
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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