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» Ship of Fools   »   » The Simmies 2009   » Best Putdown

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Best Putdown
Simon

Editor
# 1

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A great putdown redraws the battlefield, leaving your opponent nowhere to go. Whether it's a withering one-liner, the pulling apart of a straw man, or a new and intriguing use for a decaying piece of agricultural equipment, we want to honour the author of the best putdown of 2008.

When nominating on this thread, please follow the format shown in the next post. If you don't have all the info you need to complete the nomination fields, you're not yet ready to nominate. Just make a regular post asking for the help of others in finding what you're looking for.

How to find out the URL for an individual post: go to the post and find the tiny page icon which is just to the left of the date (at the top of the post). Right-click the icon (or on a Mac, control-click it) and select "copy link" from the dropdown menu. You can now paste the link URL into your nomination.

Please note: Your nomination post should simply contain your nomination and nothing else.

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Eternal memory

Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Simon

Editor
# 1

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NOMINATION

I nominate: Shipmate who made the putdown

For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: Thread title

URL: Insert clickable link to the individual post here

My reasons for nominating: Your comments in full here

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Eternal memory

Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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I nominate: Zappa

For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: Sir Pellinore
URL: When you kick Jesus off the Right Hand of the Father™, would you whisper a prayer in the ear of the Creator for those of us less perfect than your self?

Thanks (in anticipation, of course).


My reasons for nominating: it's elegant, it's sarcastic, it's subtle but not too subtle ... what more do you need?

[fixed the link]

[ 12. December 2008, 02:34: Message edited by: Scot ]

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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Kingsfold, your link does not link to the post you think it links to. Only to the thread.

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Nomination

I nominate: Spiffy

For best putdown

Posted on the thread: This is Science?

URL: You are so clueless, you are standing in the Conservatory holding a Lead Pipe and wondering what all the shouting is about.

Reason: Succint, pithy, funny and utterly appropriate. Spiffy also came out with another blinder here. I can see I'm going to have to keep an eye on her...

AG

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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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Buggeration. Let's try that again...

I nominate: Zappa

For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: Sir Pellinore
URL: When you kick Jesus off the Right Hand of the Father™, would you whisper a prayer in the ear of the Creator for those of us less perfect than your self?

Thanks (in anticipation, of course).


Reasons stand as above. Plus it's the sort of thing I wish I'd thought of.

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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Yerevan
Shipmate
# 10383

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quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
Buggeration. Let's try that again...

I nominate: Zappa

For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: Sir Pellinore
URL: When you kick Jesus off the Right Hand of the Father™, would you whisper a prayer in the ear of the Creator for those of us less perfect than your self?

Thanks (in anticipation, of course).


Reasons stand as above. Plus it's the sort of thing I wish I'd thought of.

Seconded [Razz]
Posts: 3758 | From: In the middle | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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quote:
Originally posted by Yerevan:
quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
Buggeration. Let's try that again...

I nominate: Zappa

Seconded [Razz]
Thirded ! (I actually came into styx this evening to post that very quote ...)

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
frin

Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9

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What a shame that the rules mean that as a host Zappa is not eligible for nomination for this award.

Further nominations are welcome.

'frin
Host of the Shippies

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"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.

Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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Double buggeration.

Still, even if Zappa isn't eligible, I think it deserves an honourable mention!

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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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I will have to wait until I'm off work to post an official nomination, but Spiffy definitely has some putdowns that I think deserve this one.

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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Socratic-enigma
Shipmate
# 12074

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NOMINATION

I nominate Arrietty

for Best Putdown

on the'Golden Asshat' thread (in Hell)

In response to RuthW's comment
quote:
"As for those complaining about the Golden Asshat Award both here and in the Styx: grow up, get a sense of humor, get a sense of proportion, and get a life."
Arrietty succinctly replied:
quote:
"This could be equally useful advice for those who are getting ratty about people complaining about the Golden Asshat award, of course.

If you don't like complaints about the Golden Asshat award why read them?



'Ouch!' (RuthW slinks off scraping pie from face)

S-E

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"Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them."
David Hume

Posts: 817 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
Zwingli
Shipmate
# 4438

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Such a shame this post by Ken is a month or two too old. It could also have been a nominee for Best Post, Best Hell Denizen, and ironically for Best Theologian.
Posts: 4283 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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Now that the rules have been changed, can my nomination of Zappa be reinstated? Or do I have to repost the nomination?

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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Red Carpet Gown on

Kingsfold, there's no need to repost your nomination. We'll be sure to pick it up when putting the poll together.

Red Carpet Gown off

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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Thanks Flausa.

I am glad it's now included - it was particularly fine!

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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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NOMINATION

I nominate Firenze

For Best Putdown

Posted on You're all Asshats, the lot of you

The woman that rared you would drown nothing.

It is very clear and succinct and so completely dismissive.

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.

Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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so seconded! I am in awe of that woman.

and I'm totally stealing that putdown for my own use, too.

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Firenze has what is known as 'a way with words'. There are precious few of them posting in the circus (Ariel is another) so they tend to get noticed when they do. I'm glad to see she has been nominated.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Adam.

Like as the
# 4991

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NOMINATION

I nominate Doublethink

For Best Putdown

Posted on thread: Belle Ringer's Church

Link: OP

Reasons: For saying what many were thinking in a much more subtly and cunnily passive aggressive way than I ever thought possible. I'm not sure Belle even realized she was being insulted.

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Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog

Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
Geneviève

Mother-Hatting Cat Lover
# 9098

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NOMINATION

I nominate: Moo

For: Best Putdown

Thread: Sad Cunts

Link: here

Reason: Moo always uses language precisely and in most cases graciously. Here, however, her response to a regrettable OP is a masterpiece, and without stooping to the crude language of the OP'er.

[ 21. December 2008, 00:28: Message edited by: Geneviève ]

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"Ineffable" defined: "I cannot and will not be effed with." (Courtesy of CCTooSweet in Running the Books)

Posts: 4336 | From: Eastern US | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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I second the nomination of Moo. Brava. [Overused]

Ross

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I'm not dead yet.

Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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NOMINATION

I nominate: dj_ordinaire
Thread: Children and what to do with them (Ecclesiantics)
Link here

Reason: dj_o has a way with words at the best of times anyway, but this one really made me laugh.

[ 24. December 2008, 07:33: Message edited by: Spike ]

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Geneviève

Mother-Hatting Cat Lover
# 9098

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Excellent nomination, and especially as it is not in Hell.

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"Ineffable" defined: "I cannot and will not be effed with." (Courtesy of CCTooSweet in Running the Books)

Posts: 4336 | From: Eastern US | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Alfred E. Neuman

What? Me worry?
# 6855

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NOMINATION Best Putdown

I nominate: Presleyterian
For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: Golden Asshat

URL: Here.

My reasons for nominating:
So many strong contenders but Presley's putdown was not only withering but satisfyingly topical to current events.

[ 30. December 2008, 02:16: Message edited by: Gort ]

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--Formerly: Gort--

Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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NOMINATION

I nominate: Preslyterian

For Best Putdown

Posted on the Thread: Golden Asshat

URL: Having the discretion to leave a thought, opinion, or complaint unexpressed isn't a concept I'd expect you to grasp.

My reason for nominating: This putdown is timeless, succint, and expresses an acute knowledge of the opposing poster while being adaptable to a wider target range. Besides which, Preslyterian is probably the only Shipmate whose posting abilities would encourage me to read all her posts again. She can say in less than 2500 posts what it can take others 10000+ much less elegant posts to say. My posts want to be her posts when they grow up.

[ 06. January 2009, 13:48: Message edited by: Flausa ]

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66

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NOMINATION Best Putdown

I nominate: Presleyterian
For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: Golden Asshat

URL: Here.

My reasons for nominating:
I have to 3rd Gort and Flausa because my immediate response upon reading it was "OUCH! Thank God it wasn't me." - the mark, in my mind at least, of a truly excellent putdown.

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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...

Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66

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Uhm...my 'reasons for nominating' would make a tiny bit more sense had I linked to Flausa's nominated post, which was actually the one I had in mind.

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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...

Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
RooK

1 of 6
# 1852

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My posts want to have Presleyterian's post's babies.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alfred E. Neuman

What? Me worry?
# 6855

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Uhm...my 'reasons for nominating' would make a tiny bit more sense had I linked to Flausa's nominated post, which was actually the one I had in mind.

That'll learn ya to cut and paste my posts. Sure Flausa's link is succinct but this one is better.

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--Formerly: Gort--

Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66

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quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
That'll learn ya to cut and paste my posts.

Momma said crime didn't pay. But did I listen? Nah.

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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...

Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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NOMINATION

I nominate: Spiffy

For: Best Putdown

Posted on the thread: The Sunday after Christmas

here

My reasons for nominating: This is a completely unexpected angle on a putdown - not nasty in any sense, but a very funny retort which squarely puts Amos's compliment in a completely new light, as someone trying to get out of doing something by flattery of another. Which wasn't Amos's intention at all.....

Well, it made me laugh, anyway - and right on the last day of the competition, too! [Cool]

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged


 
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