How about running it as a competition between three teams, the aim is that Team A have to keep the thread in Heaven, Team B have to get it transeferred to Purgatory and Team C to Hell?
 

That Graham Norton's brilliant, isn't he?
 

Actually, I prefer Ricky Gervaise.

Does anyone (ANYONE) have the guts to be on team C?
 

Ah, but I think you'll find that he isn't mentioned by name in the bible. I think we must embrace this truth.

clare
 

Alan
 

bb
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wood:
I'm in team A.

That Graham Norton's brilliant, isn't he?

---

Well you would say that wouldn't you? That's exactly the sort of stuff I'd expect from a shandy drinking lightweight with a Britney Spears obsession

The Thread That Wouldn't Die.

Deep in the bowels of the Ship, something stirred. It uncoiled its fetid tendrils and sniffed the air... ah, its time was again coming, they thought they could ignore it, kill it, but no... Slowly it lifted its terrible head as it detected the smell of its food... ah, ignorance, so delicious, it could feel life returning to its limbs... It blinked...
 

Ah, but that's the point, Joan. We tend to resort to myths rather than facing the historical evidence. Our faith is founded on the person of Jesus, whom we seek to draw close to through our own experience and the truths contained in the biblical record. And, as I think you'll find if you read the gospels (I would say instead of spending all your time with these tedious horror writings, but that would be a free point for team C), that no-where does Matthew, Mark, Luke or John mention Grahem Norton.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by clare:
( no-where does Matthew, Mark, Luke or John mention Grahem Norton.

---

That's got nothing to do with it because Graham Norton is an idiot, just like everyone else posting on this thread. (except me)

Kerry
 

So Graham Norton is an anagram for "camper than a field full of tents".

anymore anagrams ?

P
 

Does that comment mean I am on Team C?

Or that I am just confused?
 

Nice try, but no cigar. I shall have to set up a (temporary) team E, to address this proposal which certainly belongs in the Styx.

Kerymania threads need to start with a bible passage, so i'm afraid you have well and truely missed your opportunity. May I suggest you join the wonderful contenders doing an absolutely fabulous job as team B! Your passages might come in useful

I shall now retreat from inscruitable objectivity, and disband team E.

clare
 

(Team F)

Paul W
 

-------------------------------------------

"After the storm I suppose you dragged yourselves up on deck"

"Ooo no, we dressed quite casual"
 

On behalf of Team C I must tell you to READ THE RULES

There isn't a board for Jules and Sandy so deal with it. If you can't understand simple instructions then don't bother

[UBB Code edited]

[ 25 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

Conversation in the cafe has suggested:

MW hosts could lead a service which was being MW'ed (individually) - HT a welsh presby church, SS in high, non catholic anglican and bb in a la Sarum.

as for purg hosts
AC would have to write about the lizard men, and how they were really the royal family.
Laura could give a detailed list of the arguments for and against homosexuality.
Karl could write of his conversion to evangelical christianity, and how the earth was made, inc fossils, in 6 days.
Suggestions for Mousethief welcome .

Oh boy - no way I'm typing those suggestions for admin!
 

team C
 

Ticklemehomer(the rude alter-ego to Atticus)
 

I think we should discuss ideas for a service based on the theme of same sex relationships, how we would present it, who can do the powerpoint presentaions? who can bring the candles. How will we get everyone involved and can we use the room abouve the pub?

Neil
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Team A ;

So Graham Norton is an anagram for "camper than a field full of tents".

anymore anagrams ?

P

---

Homosexuality=Oh, a xylem is out

Team A: Success through Botany
 

quote:

---

May I suggest you join the wonderful contenders doing an absolutely fabulous job as team B! Your passages might come in useful

---

Are you saying their passages are not useful at the moment? *sigh* Have you even read the 10 commandments, you ***********?
 

I personally think that despite and including all your experiences, be they of homosexuality, threads, candles, anagrams or the mystery of worship that dare not speak its name, that we are all part of the wider whole that we strive towards in the unity of the spirit. Indeed, as Jesus himself commanded, be a fruit and do not be lopped.

Are we not in danger of undue lopping, and is this not indicative of wider issues which the churches have to face in this changing society we call the twenty-first century?

Yours thoughtfully,

clare

p.s. I think Rowan Williams can prune the lops the best myself, though i suspect this may prove over vigourous for Tony Blair!
 

*I choose to start the poem now.*

As it's a dynamic art form you'll have to take it on spec when I say it is beautiful, moving and poignant.
 

So says Team C

quote:

---

There isn't a board for Jules and Sandy so deal with it. If you can't understand simple instructions then don't bother

---

That's uncanny. Has anyone ever seen Spike and Erin in the same room at the same time?

Team B by the way. Does Graham Norton exist when nobody's watching? And what are the implications of this for a post-modern calvinist theology which integrates the insights of pelagian neo-orthodoxy, with particular reference to the liturgical revision pioneered by Vatican II?
 

And you know what you can do with Graham Norton.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yaffle:
That's uncanny. Has anyone ever seen Spike and Erin in the same room at the same time?

---

This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.
 

Whoever mentions the H-Word in a post has to drink. If the poster doesn't mention the H-Word, he makes someone else drink...
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:
Hell/Homosexuality(excuse me) Another bartender
Hell/Homosexuality another
Hell/Homosexuality another
Hell/Homosexuality one more
What are lou yooking at!??!

---

How many bartenders have you had? And which team do you bat for (as it were)?

(Note to self: I think the C team may have a possible recruit.)
 

...what we need to do next is play a game called Homesexuality poetry

so the first poet takes the first letter of Homosexuality to start the poem thus

Happiness

the next poet takes

o

and so on
 

Happiness
Or
Maybe
Oppressed
Sustenance
Enduring
Xenophobia
Until
A
Liberal
Institution
Tokenizes
You
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Late Quartet:
Definitely in team A...

...what we need to do next is play a game called Homesexuality poetry

so the first poet takes the first letter of Homosexuality to start the poem thus

Happiness

the next poet takes

o

and so on

---

OK, As I'm in Team C I'm going to say

Orifice

So there

[UBB Code reluctantly edited--Why make Team C look better?]

[ 25 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

Happiness
only
makes
others
sense
ecstatic
xenophilia
unless
all
likely
interests
throng
Yorkshire-wards
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Coot:
As a supporter of Team A I should like to share with you a poem I have written: 'Ode to my Sexuality', this I am performing while engaging in liturgical dance in a dark room lit with strange coloured lights.

*I choose to start the poem now.*

As it's a dynamic art form you'll have to take it on spec when I say it is beautiful, moving and poignant.

---

splendid, you are trying to move it Small Fire as well then!

Neil
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Late Quartet
all
likely
interests
throng
Yorkshire-wards

---

So are we saying Yorkshire is hell? Can oyu justify that? (team C)
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Late Quartet:
Ah but Spike, as all in Team A will ensure, the rules keep changing ... for the better ... so acrostics it is, for the time being (heavenly ones of course--not throwing down a gauntlet or anything)

---

Trust the happy-clappy-planet-christian-types to change the rules. Well as long as they're happy

Viki

(Team C btw)
 

strathclydezero: Is that Erin declaring herself in team?

No, just God .
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
Erin: This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.

strathclydezero: Is that Erin declaring herself in team?

No, just God .

---

Well that was an obvious comment Joan. Perhaps you should save your breath for cooling your porridge?

Viki
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by kingsfold:
So are we saying Yorkshire is hell? Can oyu justify that? (team C)

---

peace, shalom and have you ever wondered where all the metal id numbers on lamp-posts come from [that was my random tangent to keep us heaven-bound]!

As to me being accused of xenophilia unless all throng Yorkshire-wards ... the reason is in the detail that I am in Yorkshire ... which makes me think of a game ... its called County Crescent,

I'll naturally be going from

Yorkshire to Northumbria

though that's obvious of course [superior look, smug grin ... fear of a dark shadow coming from the east ... gulp! ... is it a black-rider or some hostly figure ruling such games out of heaven ... help!!!]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yaffle:
Does Graham Norton exist when nobody's watching? And what are the implications of this for a post-modern calvinist theology which integrates the insights of pelagian neo-orthodoxy, with particular reference to the liturgical revision pioneered by Vatican II?

---

Who cares? The postmodernists are just making it up as they go along; any good Episcopalian in the US can tell you that they'll drive the church into the ground before they figure out that the butts their heads are up are not merely linguistic constructs. Calvinism cannot be rehabilitated, pace the earnest if rather pale postings in Purgatory. Pelagianism is patently false, and really not even a very interesting heresy; anyone who doesn't believe in original sin and can't see the world for the sorry, stinking, fallen place it is has been smoking way too much cheap weed. "Neo-orthodoxy" is practically a contradiction in terms, and I'm sure the hidebound hands of our Orthodox brothers and sisters will crush it as unworthy. As for the liturgical revisions of Vatican II, see the postmodernists.

And who the heck is Graham Norton anyway, and why on earth do You Brits think We Yanks are gonna catch all your references when OUR cultural imperialism has been so much more successful than yours in recent years?

I will say one thing for this thread, though: it's the best one on homosexuality I've ever seen.

Need I say it? TEAM C
 

I also must come clean and declare that it was I who came up with the forfeits for some of the hosts.

clare's was that she had to host a round of Mornington Cresent.

We were only half way through the list of hosts when someone (may he be forever blessed) ran over here and divulged the forfeit system. I thought it wisest not to create any more forfeits. But I have seen the error of my ways, and I humbly beg forgiveness for thinking up disagreable tasks for my fellow hosts.

bb - the contrite ( and who is worriting that forfeit is not spelt correctly)

[I have just run it through a spell-checker, and it looks fine.]
 

And I bet you all eat quiche.

Up the C team.
 

P

the A team
 

Many thanks.
 

Graham Norton is the Bishop of South Yarrawarrawee. His sexual deviance has been sprouted around the world after he raved naked with a blue light on the front lawn of his episcopal palace. It was revealed by private sources that this behaviour was triggered by excessive stress levels. The Bishop, it was told, was secretly seeing most of the members of his diocese - and apparently had fathered, unbeknowns to any of his partners, several entire families. He apparently "married" several men, who were convinced he was interested in them. Stephen* claims to have had a seamy relationship with the Bishop, which involved nuns and confessionals.

"Oh, I never even knew he was a bishop! Although I wondered where he obtained all those FABulous stimulants and sex toys. Well, fancy that!"

This feeling is mutual throughout most of Bishop Norton's diocese. His actions have prompted the more evangelical wing of his diocese to demand not only the bishop's resignation, but his deprivation of holy orders. Some have also suggested that the Bishop may require serious psychiatric handling before he make an appearance in public again. Moves are underway to investigate the disappearance of tat from several parishes (originally banned for "lack of the appropriate Faculty"), apparently connected with the Bishop's activities.

*All names have been changed to protect individuals' privacy.

___________

Definitely TEAM C. This thread belongs in HELL!!!!

I DEFY anyone to tell me Bishop Norton is not crazy!
 

P

having a Team C moment
 

We could get our hosts to perform their forfeits on the 'sooooo Graham Norton show'
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nunc_Dimittis:
Get your facts straight. Since when has Graham Norton been a US comedian?

---

Get your own facts straight. Who the **** ever said he was? Deal with it. Get a life. Don't you have anything better to do? And so on.

Team C.
 

This is uncanny.

David
Kind of B-A Side B but recently redefined as a B-ish Side C depending on definitions of Side B; definitely Side E though
(And involved on B-A)
 

I bet you can't !
 

Oh my dear sarky, that was an obvious statement, but

tat

is never ob
vi
ous

especially when
(the rain-time shining)

Fiddletats come out to

play in Just
Spring
(green for correctness)

oops, have I
g
o
n
e
and turned this

(always and everywhen)
MW?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ham 'n' Eggs:
Team G are on a roll!

---

Is that a ham'n'eggs roll?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
MW?

---

Honey, don't you even think that! MW has quite enough tat queens already.

This thread is obviously suited to Heaven. Just look how many posts it has, in such a short space of time. Heaven is its natural home.

Quite a few times in the reading of this thread I have had a major guffaw, twice I have even slapped my desk. I keep getting strange looks from my husband, and he is quite forgiving about SoF-frivolities.

This is just Heavenly.

bb
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:

I also must come clean and declare that it was I who came up with the forfeits for some of the hosts.

clare's was that she had to host a round of Mornington Cresent.

---

Oh,goody.....
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nunc_Dimittis:
Definitely TEAM C. This thread belongs in HELL!!!!

I DEFY anyone to tell me Bishop Norton is not crazy!

---

I'll put you down as a "maybe" for the outing to Bishop Norton's television programme, then.

Now, who else?
 

If you took the trouble to read this friggin' thread, you would see it has nothing to do with some dumb-ass Australian bishop.

BTW, if anyone asks, a) I don't mean any bishop in particular b) can't you friggin' dumb-asses take a joke???????????
 

With all this group hugging, it's obvious Team A have spent worrying amounts of time in group therapy - possibly for alcohol-related problems?

And as for the Joan thing...

All I can say is RuthW, polish your claws, and go maul someone. Tomb'll show you how, if you need a reminder..

Viki

(P.S. If people get flamed in a post, does that send the thread to Hell?)
 

quote:

---

(P.S. If people get flamed in a post, does that send the thread to Hell?)

---

No, as it is deemed to be a parody of real flaming, therefore belongs in Heaven.

Unless Team C can prove otherwise..........

[UBB Code edited]

[ 27 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

Team A (though I don't care for Group Hugs)
 

C
 

He is friendly towards gay clergy, has good links with the Roman Catholic church and in fact was a Roman Catholic priest for a time (albeit in a television programme, and would therefore know how to lead the country in a crisis.

I am sure he would be very good with young people too.
Possibly B now, unless I am being very sarcastic and satirical
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sarkycow:

(P.S. If people get flamed in a post, does that send the thread to Hell?)

---

Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sarkycow:
RuthW why do you need a reason to eviscarate anyone? You're a hellhost, so use your powers! If you need some practice the stupid frigging idiots who think Heaven's the place to be should do nicely!

---

Well, I meant in real life. And in real life, it usually looks better in court if I have a reason for feeding someone their own bowels.

I do share your views about the frigging idiots who think discussion of homosexuality belongs in heaven. I betcha they all think they've got a handy solution to the problems in the Middle East, too. Something along the lines of "Let's all hold hands and sing!"
 

What shall we sing people,

I know, lets discussed 'favourite peace and love songs ever' then have a knockout competition / vote thingy.

Someone else pick a song ...
 

Misunderstanding Female Character: Are you gay?

Drew: Of course I'm not gay! Would I have this kind of [overweight] body if I were gay?

[Edited to avoid a coup for Team C]

[ 28 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Spike:
Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.

---

Er, Spike, Sarkycow's on your team.

As usual, Hell's faction will descend into a chaos requiring Administrative Intervention.
 

quote:

---

Isegrim (thats me) wrote:
I challenge everyone to continue posting this thred without using the smilie for the next 20 posts.

I bet you can't !

---

15 posts later...

quote:

---

Spike wrote:
[B]Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.[B]

---

Told you so!!!
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by shawn:
Just kidding.

---

One would like to quote Freud but his theories on Homosexuality are not testicle.... (sorry) testable.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
Er, Spike, Sarkycow's on your team.

As usual, Hell's faction will descend into a chaos requiring Administrative Intervention.

---

Evidently you've missed the point. In Hell we are not obliged to be nice to each other. We co-exist in a state of mutual antipathy, only rarely agreeing on anything. Occasionally, we work together for our own individual benefit. In short, it's very like your average office.

Shove that up your jumper.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
As usual, Hell's faction will descend into a chaos requiring Administrative Intervention.

---

Well, now, that's the point, isn't it?!

If Team A would just SHUT UP WITH THAT AWFUL RACKET THEY CALL SINGING perhaps they'd have a chance to grab a clue!
 

[clears throat]

This thread should be transferred to Kerygmania.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Carmel:
In Hell we are not obliged to be nice to each other. We co-exist in a state of mutual antipathy, only rarely agreeing on anything. Occasionally, we work together for our own individual benefit. In short, it's very like your average office.

Shove that up your jumper.

---

Well, you would say that though.
 

scrap! scrap!

I'm so pleased (in a Hellish way) to be on Team C
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Isegrim:
Isegrim (thats me) wrote:

I challenge everyone to continue posting this thred without using the smilie for the next 20 posts.

I bet you can't !

15 posts later...

Spike wrote:

Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.

Told you so!!!

---

BAH HUMBUG !!!!!!

and by the way - is your signature to be taken as a sexual threat ???

(signing on for the C Team - faithfully yours)

[Tsk--Team A has clean up Team C's mess again.]

[ 28 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Spike:
Well, you would say that though.

---

You're just jealous because I thought of it first.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by bessie rosebride:
[QB

[Tsk--Team A has clean up Team C's mess again.]

[/QB]

---

Well if the sanctimonious do gooders that run this site gave us the ability to edit our own posts you wouldn't have to. It was so much better on the old boards.

On an ordinary day, I would thank you for tidying up my UBB Code, but since I am on a mission to send this thread to The Dogs (Hounds of Hell ) I must refrain.

I couldn't care less what my post looks like, and besides - it was not my fault #$@****&& - I was prohibited from posting with more than 8 of these FIRE ANT THINGS or whatever they're called and got
messed up deleting some.

But since this is still Heaven, I suppose you must keep everything correct and proper....
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Spike:
Well if the sanctimonious do gooders that run this site gave us the ability to edit our own posts you wouldn't have to. It was so much better on the old boards.

---

YES, and this too..
 

quote:

---

bessie rosebride wrote:-
and by the way - is your signature to be taken as a sexual threat ???

---

You are quite welcome to take it as a sexual threat should you so desire to do so!
 

Dosen't. Sheesh! Are you guys too lazy to check your spelling or too friggin' stupid?

(BTW, any accusation of stupidity here is in your own heads, ya lily livered wimps. It's all the other guys I'm talking about.)
 

So much more milage in hatred and anger.

Maybe they should just admit to being the losers we all know they are?

Viki
 

(and I loved that poem JtD)

Can it be that the Toucan Club has lost its soul and is dying? (Leunig)
 

Rah, rah, team D
heaven's greatest...er...team D?
rah...rah?

Umm...
 

SEE HERE YA ALL! I've borrowed this here sword from Wood.

And if I don't see the end of those revolting group hugs, disgusting overdone sixties protest songs appropriate only to Flower Children of the most seedy, spaced-out-on-weed types, I'll lop your friggin heads off.

THAT CLEAR ALREADY?!!!

It's disgusting and gross to see a bunch of otherwise sane adults behaving like four year olds on a mushy-lets-get-married-day.

Lily livered po faces! Come on, I dare you! Come get me!

Aha! But not before you feel the bight of Wood's Steel!

*red hair flames in all directions and living flames dart out from her very being*
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nunc_Dimittis:
*brandishes Woods BGF Sword(tm)*

SEE HERE YA ALL! I've borrowed this here sword from Wood.

---

Ah, poor Nunc. You are rather behind the times. Wood had to return his BGF Sword when he resigned from the Heavenly Host. As a 'departure present' the host clubbed together and made him a lovely cardboard copy of his BGF Sword. (I believe that Erin still has the orginal.)

But still, if you are happiest when running around with your hair on fire, and weilding cardboard sword, then who am I to stop you.

If you haave moment, can you stick your hair in the fireplace and light the fire please.

bb
 

It seems to me that you all have a valid case so what is needed is legal argument based on past precedent, as that is how for many many years the British justice system has worked.

It strikes me that this thread can be viewed as a microcosm of life itself. There are many people working so far successfully to keep it heavenly, and if it is to be enjoyed by all safely that is where it must stay.

Some who would like to see it go to Hell think that just by being nasty or swearing loudly the whole thing will have to be taken to a place where such things are commonplace.

Some think that by using erudite argument the correct platform for such a discussion is Purgatory, the home of cerebral material.

Then there are the loonies.........

I am willing to pass judgement on you all, thus condemning myself to eternal damnation if you will succinctly apply legal (or ship) precedent in the quest to determine the best resting place for a thread such as this.
 

Team A: Heaven - No obvious leader
Team B: Purgatory - Leader Clare
Team C: Hell - Spike and Kieran
Team D: Kerygmania - Sharkshooter and Dyfrig
Team E: The Styx - No support whatsoever
Team F: Urban Myths - Paul W
Team G: Mystery Worshipper - Ham 'n' Eggs
Team H: All Saints - Chapelhead and Strathclydezero
Team O: Archive - Qestia
Team Z: (?) - Firenze
Team with no name: Small Fire - Starbelly

Time to take sides, pledge allegiance and risk total annihilation, excommunication, burning fires of hell, damnation, nothingness, emptiness, and death if you pick the wrong team.
 

quote:

---

*red hair flames in all directions and living flames dart out from her very being*

---

Oh, I can't be arsed with this.

Sharkshooter - you're on your own.
 

How bout a panto! Woo! Let's see. Cinderella? Bags being the handsome Prince. Ooo oo! Who's going to be Cinderella? Babybear maybe? Wood and Pyx_e can be the ugly stepsisters! Atticus can be the one of the lizards that turns into a footman. Or is it mice? I'm a bit out of touch with Cinders. The mice become horses, don't they? Late Q can clap the coconut halves together in time. Isegrim and Stephen didn't declare but there's plenty of horse and footman parts.

More to the point. Who's going to be the FAIRY GODMOTHER!? Woo!! Belisarius and JtD can fight it out and the loser gets to be my faithful servant who travels around with me while we try the slipper on all the hopefuls in the kingdom. Yay!
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
To summarise (and in so doing declare my support for team B) and make it easier on all those who hate reading several pages of garbage...

---

Oh yeah? And who asked you??? Mind your own business and get back to hosting your pathetic girly quizzes.

And as for Coot's suggestion for a poncy panto - well 'scuse me while I puke.

Panto forsooth. Don't you have any fashion sense? Panto is out. It's the wrong time of year. Nobody would be seen dead at a panto in January. Anyway, the visual images this conjures up are positively emetic.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Team C: Hell - Spike and Kieran

<snip>

Time to take sides, pledge allegiance and risk total annihilation, excommunication, burning fires of hell, damnation, nothingness, emptiness, and death if you pick the wrong team.

---

This is nothing to the fate you will suffer if you DON'T EVEN LIST EVERYONE ON THE ONLY TEAM THAT REALLY MATTERS.

Ruth
hellhost and Team C
 

Uncle Horace: ...you and Cedric are so different--he's so queer, yet you're so gay.

Edward: Oh, we're more alike than you think...
 

***leaps up and down with glee***

You broke the first commandment!!!!!!

Which is:

If you deliberately set out to antagonise or offend other shipmates you risk having your membership suspended for a time or cancelled for ever.

Now someone's going to bust your dumb-assed dumb ass!!!!!*****

*****BTW that's NOT A FRIGGIN' INSULT, it's a reference to Balaam in case you can't recognise a biblical quote when you see one.

[Now Team D - at least temporarily]
 

Erin, I would like you on my side! (wouldn't we all ....)

Do you not think that this thread is a perfect and enjoyable method of explaining to the new arrivals exactly which thread is which and what should go where.

This should be in THE STYX for all new arrivals to view and understand the workings of the ship.
 

Gen. 19:5 (KJV) "[5] And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them."

Does this verse talk about homosexuality? Discuss.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Erin, I would like you on my side! (wouldn't we all ....)

---

Flattering the hosts will get you nowhere.
Especially the STYX.

quote:

---

Originally posted by strathclydezero:
Chapelhead - glad to see you've offered to organise the meet, should get things moving along. Now - where's Angel when you need her?

---

Here.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Spike:
Yeah? And what makes you think you matter then Ruth?

---

Hey, I can recognize an infiltrator from Team D, you Bible-thumping exegete, you! A true member of Team C would know that we don't merely think in Hell -- we know.

Spike, I denounce you as an infidel. Don't try to pass yourself off as a Denizen of the Depths when you're clearly one of those patient, earnest nit-pickers from Kerygmania.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Now I am setting myself up as the LEADER of Team E.

Erin, I would like you on my side! (wouldn't we all ....)

Do you not think that this thread is a perfect and enjoyable method of explaining to the new arrivals exactly which thread is which and what should go where.

This should be in THE STYX for all new arrivals to view and understand the workings of the ship.

---

Actually, early on I declared myself Supreme Being, so ultimately whichever team kisses sufficient ass (money, liquor and/or chocolate will do just fine) wins. None of this candy-assed mercy and leniency for me!
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by strathclydezero:
Quizmaster - fantastic to see you are starting to organise people for the Graham Norton show shipmeet already

---

Graham Norton shipmeet difficult for me to get to - I suggest Hook Norton where the beer is better.

Team H

Oh, and I'd better have become a Shipmate with this post, or I'll have a major strop and flame all the administrators and technical people until I am look really stupid when they are right and I'm not

... or perhaps Team E
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:
Spike, I denounce you as an infidel. Don't try to pass yourself off as a Denizen of the Depths when you're clearly one of those patient, earnest nit-pickers from Kerygmania.

---

Yeah. But what do you expect when his star sign is Virgo. Totally unsuited to leading the C team. Let's depose him.

And Elaine should be In Here. Now.
 

quote:

---

early on I declared myself Supreme Being

---

That puts you in the Purgatory team I reckon.
 

Dyfrig, where are you?

Feeling all alone on Team D, and think a team of one is not really a team...

and, feeling p***ed off that Dyfrig didn't try hard enough...

and, absolutely hating group hugs...

and, thinking Team C is a better alternative than being a team of one...

If they'll have me...

And even if they don't want me,

I officially declare that I am leaving Team D and joining Team C...

And I don't give a hoot what anyone else thinks.
 

The question is, when people genuinely feel that they cannot subscribe to the majority lifestyle, what should they do? Could the church ever be a safe house for these lost souls? Could team B?

clare
 

So now I am

Can anyone solve my identity crisis?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:
Sharkshooter, we might take you on ... if in your next post you can give us one good reason why we should. Or settle the homosexuality debate for once and for all. Either one is fine.

---

I didn't think, in Team C I would have to debate anything, I thought we could just say whatever we wanted. Isn't debating for Team B?

So, then I think I need a good reason why you should take me on your team...

Because Team C wants me.

Because I am drawn to the company of Team C.

Why not?

(adapted from the "one good reason thread)

So, do I get a membership card?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sharkshooter:
Because Team C wants me.

---

Don't kid yourself, fishface.

So, do I get a membership card?[/QUOTE]

No, you hellishly well don't. If you'd come in here, banged the virtual counter and demanded one I might be inclined to think you were suitable material for our infernal team, but if you have the temerity to actually ask if you can have one, I am delighted to snarl back, NO. Is that clear enough? Push off and join whatever group of dysfunctional idiots are currently pretending to be some other team.
 

Give me a Team C Membership Card!

I'm obviously going to have to work hard at this, AND I WILL!

Bangs the counter with the other hand and now has trouble typing.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kerry:
I thought I was a team B person, because I was feeling rational. Then I decided I was probably a team A person, because I was feeling Then I decided I must be a team C person, because

So now I am

Can anyone solve my identity crisis?

---

Since you are I command you to go to the Heaven Team or see if All Saints can possibly fit you in. YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR THE TEAM C OF HELL

You must have absolute bullheaded NO DOUBT I'M RIGHT opinions to survive in Hell and must be ready to fight to the death (or at least the scalding of your skin) to maintain your beliefs.

will never make it - we'll fry you alive...
 

She obviously spends a lot of time with Team C people, so have the rest of us got any chance? Should we keep fighting for what we believe in or go with God herself?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sharkshooter:
Give me a Team C Membership Card!

---

No.

quote:

---

I'm obviously going to have to work hard at this, AND I WILL!

---

There you are, you see, if you were really hellish like the rest of us, you wouldn't have to work at it, it would all come naturally. Besides, it's far more fun to tell you you can't have one, when you so clearly want one, and we don't have them anyway!

quote:

---

Bangs the counter with the other hand and now has trouble typing.

---

Wimp.
 

Shawn started this thread as a lark,
but a firestorm has grown from that spark.
A small crew is gaming,
Team C fights by flaming,
And new shipmates are left in the dark.
 

Er ....

Me? I reckon I should change my allegiance now, and fight for team O. The ultimate resting place of this thread should be The Archive.

OK, Call me liberal.
 

TEAM Q - QUEER LIMBO.....

Help
Organize
More
Opulence;
Supplying
Exotic
Xanthum
Unguents
Amplifies
Leisures
Involving
Trendy
Yuppies.

[Forgot a Letter]

[ 30 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by clare:
I fear that the moving house business, though pressing, has lost any wisp of minor momentum that team B achieved. Therefore, we welcome anyone who is feeling lost or isolated at the moment, or is feeling like they don't really belong to their team any more. Sometimes lables are not the most useful things to descroibe human beings with.

The question is, when people genuinely feel that they cannot subscribe to the majority lifestyle, what should they do? Could the church ever be a safe house for these lost souls? Could team B?

clare

---

People like that will BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!

So in support of Team A, I will now attempt my first Ship acrostic:

However
Often
Men
Offer
Sustenance,
Earth
Xenophobics
Always
Let
Italians
Take
Yours.

I would say:

TAKE THAT YOU WORTHLESS TEAM C SCUM

except that as a Team A member
I'm not allowed to say that sort of thing

Nyah
 

Btw.. I'm joining team C.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Siegfried:
Btw.. I'm joining team C.

---

Says who? We may not want your sort
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Spike:
Says who? We may not want your sort

---

And who died and gave you the right to decide who's on Hell's team then? You're not even a member. RuthW (A HOST) kicked you out. So push off somewhere else with your recto-cranial inversion assumptions!

Freak!

Viki
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sarkycow:
And who died and gave you the right to decide who's on Hell's team then? You're not even a member. RuthW (A HOST) kicked you out.

---

Now wait a minute. I deposed him. Any more trouble from you and you'll be singing soprano in the Team A choir.
 

Anyway, I think we have a winner here. How any right-thinking person can say this thread still belongs in Heaven is utterly beyond me. Even left-thinking people (woolly liberals that we are -- granola forever!) should be able to recognize the essential Hellishness of this thread.

And while Kieran gave Spike a good push, I administered the coup de grace. And I'd do it again.
 

A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!

[ 31 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kieran:
You're next.

---

Just try it. I double dog dare ya.
 

On the other hand, this is just too easy. Any real hell host who claimed to be on Team C would have shifted this thread to Hell ages ago without any of that nonsense about fair play and waiting to see who was going to win, then locked it so nobody else could have the last word. But you didn't, did you.
 

Marchers: We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!

Lisa Simpson: But we are used to it! You've been having this parade for years!

(Pause)

Marcher: Party Pooper!
 

[pulls out CDs of kd lang, tracy chapman and michelle shocked]

Oo oo. I'm just soooo 80s. Who shall we have first? What's that? You want the Village People?
 

quote:

---

Any real hell host who claimed to be on Team C would have shifted this thread to Hell ages ago without any of that nonsense about fair play and waiting to see who was going to win,

---

Ah but you see, you can take the girl out of Purgatory but you can't take Purgatory out of the girl...........

Discuss, with suitable biblical references.

- Just giving Team D a trial to see how I like it.
 

How
Often
Men
Only
See
Externally.
X-rays
Uncover
All
Longevous
Internals
Testifying
Youthfulness.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by nicolemrw:
oh its so nice to see everyone having such a good time with this thread that i have to give you all a big hug and lots of kisses!

---

But that's a hellish thing to do nicole as I saw you barfing on an earlier thread

Ain't it great when even heavenly gestures become hellish?

Viki
 

however, that aside, remember, this is heaven, and therefore, no matter what my condition elsewhere, here i (as well as everyone else) is perfect! which in this case means perfectly sober and not barfing.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
Lisa Simpson: But we are used to it! You've been having this parade for years!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by jlg:
I nominate Lisa Simpson as an honorary Heaven Host!

---

Why, because she's annoying and opinionated? And that would make her fit in as a heavenly host?

Viki