Thread: Heaven: Reality Internet Presents SMILIE SISTER 2 Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Join in Smilie Sister 2, Ship-of-Fools's sequel to Smilie Sister. Once again, we have 8 willing participants who will spend the next couple of weeks locked in an undisclosed location battling it out to be the Smilie Sister winner!!!! Their survival is in your hands. Every other day there will be a vote with one smilie being eliminated from the contest.

The competition will proceed like this:

Day one, three, five, seven etc. Action Days. The smilies will be given a task to complete during the day. As participants in the thread you can write the dialogue between the participants, and hopefully we'll get some key characters emerging, possibly some personality clashes, maybe even a few romantic moments. Who knows?!

Days two, four, six, eight, etc. Voting days. Here the thread will freeze frame the drama as everyone gets a chance to vote which smilie is to be ejected from the contest. After the twenty four hours of voting is up (one vote per shipmate), the votes will be counted and one smilie will be asked to leave. Voters will also be asked to suggest a task for the next days activities. The drama will continue on day three.

The days will run from 00.00 hours as shown on the thread dates. Anyone may count up votes cast at the end of the voting periods, declare the smilie to be ejected and set the next days task. It is also permissible to submit media commentary on the antics in Smilie Sister, to conduct interviews (with ejected smilies only), or to orchestrate appearances of the SS2's Executive Producers, Tarquin and Jocasta Smith-Smythe-Smith (the Angel/Devil smilies).

Note: when writing smilie dialogue you have a limit of 8 smilies per post.

The 8 smilies will start their sojourn in under constant public scrutiny today. They have been chosen for their potential for snappy dialogue (apologies to their fans, but smilies that can only say "WAAAAH!!" or "BLLEEEURGHHH!!" would become tiresome quicker than one might think).

Introducing the contestants:

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="redface.gif" /> [Roll Eyes] [Ultra confused] [Disappointed] <img border="0" alt="[Sunny]" title="" src="graemlins/flowerface.gif" /> [Snigger] [Yipee] [Paranoid]

Important: these are the only smilies who have been selected to appear in Smilie Sister. Do not use any of the others.

The first days task is to tastefully decorate their location with only objects, textures, and colors beginning with 'P.'

[ 10. March 2003, 01:22: Message edited by: Erin ]

[ 08. August 2019, 15:37: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[The Smilies start entering their undisclosed location]

[Ultra confused] Good--I'm the first one here. Where's the best seat--is this it? Or this one? Screw it, I'll take this one. Will this pysch out the other Smilies? I need a drink.

[Paranoid] Count your days, my friend. I have extensively analyzed all 189 posts of the original Smile Sister and, with the help of several chat rooms, have memorized all the possible strategies for achieving ascendancy in this tournament.

<img border="0" alt="[Sunny]" title="" src="graemlins/flowerface.gif" /> Now c'mon, things don't have to be like the first show. I'm sure we're all get along just fine if we're just nice to each other.

[Roll Eyes] Oh, right, that's what the viewers want to see--two weeks of us having tea and singing "It's a Small World After All."

[Snigger] Hey, I know you--I saw [Mad] kick your *** on the Smilie Sister Reunion. That was cool.

[Roll Eyes] Gee, I was on the same channel as scrambled porn?

[ 08. August 2019, 16:46: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Sunny] C'mon guys, I'm sensing bad vibes here.

[Embarrassed] Well, I for one am disappointed in all this vulgarity. We have a chance to set an example here!

[Yipee] Sorry I'm late did we start yet nice meeting of all by the way I hope I'm not the last one here oh good nothing's happened yet...

[Disappointed] *sigh* Why did I agree to be on this? What a bunch of losers. With my luck, I'll be staying on for the whole thing...

[Ultra confused] OK, I got the--I said I got it, dammit...here's the assignment...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[I'm getting a blank box between 'snigger' and 'paranoid', who's dat smilie? Also the one that came late]
 
Posted by Shoehorn with Teeth (# 2420) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
[I'm getting a blank box between 'snigger' and 'paranoid', who's dat smilie? Also the one that came late]

That's the spinning smilie. [Yipee]
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Ah! They're back now]

(The smilies are starting to scavenge 'p' items to decorate their location. [Embarrassed] has recovered from the usage of the word *** but looks stumped by the task)

[Snigger] - Hey, [Embarrassed] I give ya the hint. 'Pee-pee' starts with a 'P'!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Embarrassed] You're just showing your limited vocabulary. I'm sure this lovely potpourri won't offend anyone.

[Sunny] Oh wow, I found a purple paisley pattern. This is SO cool...

[Roll Eyes] And we'll get to live here too. Tell me I'm not dreaming.

[Snigger] I'll just hang up this party poster from Playboy, heh-heh...

[Paranoid] All of those items are incidental decoration--fortunately, I'll provide something substantial for the bathroom with these porcelain tiles. Now how can I alliterate the plumbing?

[Yipee] I don't know what to get I mean there are still a lot of things that begin with 'P' but they should all match together at least that's what I think we should be doing so I don't want to choose the wrong thing but maybe everyone else should be careful not to choose the wrong thing too--

[Ultra confused] --get outta my way--here's some plush pillows! Tasteful and convenient--try topping that!

[Disappointed] Here--put this pincushion somewhere. Now don't bother me anymore...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Ultra confused] The place is still too empty. I'll get more stuff!

[Sunny] Oh, you don't need material things to be happy.

[Ultra confused] What the hell are you smoking??

[Paranoid] Aha! Platinum Plumbing! But is it cost-effective?
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Snigger] Well, [Roll Eyes] I spose you're the token homosexual... seeing as you haven't got anything yet, why don't you go and lie on the POUFfe. Har har!
 
Posted by Inanna (# 538) on :
 
[Roll Eyes] Actually, [Sunny] looks more like a pansy to me...
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Snigger] i'll just plant some poison ivy in these window boxes.

[Yipee] let's get a parakeet, then! birds love poison ivy berries.

[Disappointed] have you ever seen how much poop parakeets plop on plush carpeting?

[Paranoid] poison ivy and parakeet poop? what's that smell? anyone else itchy?

[Sunny] relax, [Paranoid] , here's my piano just in time...how about a singalong?! plinka plinka plonk pack up your troubles in your old git bag and smile, smile, smile!

[Roll Eyes] how about a fish tank of piranha in case we need to get rid of some garbage.

[Embarrassed] i'm sorry to ruin everything, but i'm allergic to all animals and plants. how about something nice in plastic?
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
<Loud noises emanate from beyond the outside wall of the Smiley Sister compound and a voice is heard to say ... "Will everyone please immediately go to the bedroom and stay there until further notice">

<Everyone troops off to the hideaway with a varied array of comfortable horizontal resting places>

<As the contestants disappear into the darkest interior of their allotted space, a potted petunia plant flies into the garden and cracks on a paving slab>
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Ultra confused] Allergic to everything?? What are you, a freak??

[Embarrassed] How dare you discriminate against me!

[Snigger] Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Paranoid] <to self> Now, are their actions making them more entertaining or more obnoxious to viewers? I must plan my reaction accordingly. If I remember the formula correctly...

[Sunny] Now, now, let's just all take some quiet time--everything will turn out fine.

[Roll Eyes] Can we have milk and cookies after?

[Sunny] You know, [Roll Eyes] , I wonder why you're always pushing us away. Are you afraid to love?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Disappointed] I thought I'd get some privacy in this hideaway...

[Paranoid] Why have we be sent here at this point of the show's machinations? This is not as I had estimated.

[Yipee] I don't know I don't think there was anything like this on the first Smilie Sister but it was probably on another show like Big Brother but I never saw that show so I'm not sure so I wish I saw more TV for this while I could but I have other things to do besides watching TV...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Ultra confused] You need some Dexies, dude.
[Yipee] Oh thankyou why that's very kind do you have a parakeet by any chance it's just that I'd hate not to do the task and I-
[Ultra confused] Oh Hell! Take these!
[Yipee] Right. I'll just take. This pillow. Into the other room.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Snigger] how about a little ride in the popcorn maker, he, he.

[Yipee] [Yipee] [Yipee] [Yipee] [Yipee]

[Paranoid] hey, my pasta machine is missing!

[Snigger] are you sure?
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Smile] Urrrhhh.
[Paranoid] It would seem [Yipee] is experiencing the paradoxical but clinically observed opposition effect brought about by taking amphetamine-like substances and being put in a popcorn machine.
(To self: By my calculations that should seal [Yipee] 's fate as the first eviction, now I can relax)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Embarrassed] Drugs?? Hazing?? What is this world coming to?? Shame on the viewers if they allow this to continue!!

[Snigger] Can the act--I know you have the hots for me!

[Embarrassed] WHAT??

[Ultra confused] So--everyone's done something except [Roll Eyes] .

[Roll Eyes] I'd grovel for mercy, only I put some paper products in the kitchen.

[Ultra confused] Well, I think they were there already!

[Roll Eyes] Oops, I was out sick when they were teaching how to give a **** what you think. Tough break.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Smile] Urrrgh...??

-- [Yipee] Oh I feel much better now although it was an interesting experience not being able to move and talk around as much but I don't know if I would always want to be that way it's nice to relax sometimes but it felt weird...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 2: VOTING DAY

Once again, here are Tarquin and Jocasta Smith-Smythe-Smith:

[Angel] Well, it looks like the groundwork has been laid down well. We've witnessed some hidden talents and unexpected weaknesses, while the eternal struggle between competition and cooperation continues.

[Devil] And our viewers are already trying to decide which smilie is gay!

[Angel] I, for one, would have a hard time deciding which smilie must go. Each has a quirk that would not suffer from further expression. If I must express a preference--what a delicious irony it would be if the apathetic [Disappointed] does wind up winning!

[Devil] Well, I think [Embarrassed] should stay and be tormented some more, but the rest is up in the air. So post your vote for which smilie gets the boot!

[Angel] And give us your ideas for the next task!
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
<Brrrrnng>
[Angel] Get the phone will you my sweet.
[Devil] Unbelievable. The things I do to maintain conjugal relations. - 'Hello'?
Irate viewer: Yer. You *&##@!&+ heard me! Get that spinning #$%& off. He makes my brain hurt you *$%&@!+$%^s.
[Devil] Yer. The same to you.
[Angel] That would be a vote against [Yipee] dear heart.

[Coot says: Thumbs down to [Yipee] ]
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
My vote is for [Sunny] - Too Nice To Live On.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
( [Disappointed] opening the federal express package that arrived late) now what will i do with this pink vinyl table cloth and plaid velvet lampshade with polka dot trim?

i vote to pluck the petals off [Sunny] , but can we keep the piano? ( [Yipee] how does it feeeeeel? to be on your owwwwwn?)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 3: ACTION DAY

[Angel] Well, after a somewhat disappointing turnout, it looks like [Sunny] will have to leave, having received two votes.

The seven remaining smilies will have a costume party depicting their favorite historical or fictional characters--

[Devil] --a perfect opportunity for them to make complete fools of themselves! Liquor, of course, will be available to liven things up even more.

[ 01 July 2002, 04:39: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<The smilies are assembled in their distinctly furnished dwelling. They have just been notified of [Sunny] 's departure>

[Disappointed] Whatever.

[Ultra confused] Better that hippie than me! I'll have a shot or two to celebrate.

[Embarrassed] How can you be so petty in front of all the viewers? And drinking before Noon!

[Snigger] Getting all hot and bothered?

[Embarrassed] I am not going to dignify that with a reply. You are beneath my contempt.

[Snigger] That's it baby, keep talkin' dirty!

[Roll Eyes] But how will the two of you manage in your parents' basement?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Snigger] Oh, we all know what you are--

[Ultra confused] --Will you all just SHUT UP!! ****--now the ******' bottle's empty!!
<Smashes bottle against wall--storms out>

<Pause>

[Paranoid] Uh...what's the next project?

[Yipee] Well I think [Ultra confused] wanted to read the note but he's not here so I will if that's not a problem and I find it oh here it is <reads> Oh a costume party that's nice but I'm not sure what to wear there are so many things to choose from and I guess I should take into account how long it would take...

[Paranoid] <to self> [Yipee] should have been voted out! How could my logic fail? Stay calm, stay calm...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Ultra confused] (Enters splashed head-to-toe in tomato sauce) I'm Dr Crippin.
[Disappointed] I don't think so.
[Snigger] How bout a game of 'I s-Pie'? Geddit?!
[Disappointed] Hold me back.
[Paranoid] ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? <to self: Must.stay.in.control. Must.endear.self.to.viewers>
[Roll Eyes] Give it up, Girlfriend. Uh-Oh. What a giveaway.
[Snigger] Har! Knew it!
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Roll Eyes] Oh well. I suppose my cover's blown now. I'll be Julie Andrews.
[Yipee] Let me see I want to be so many things a whirling dervish Gene Kelly yes I think I've got it now I'll just strip down to my undies and singlet and my bicycle leggings with my undies on the outside of course can you tell who I am yes I'm Rudolf Nureyev!
[Disappointed] Uh. Yer. Sizzling. Not.
[Snigger] Don't tell me there's 2 of them.
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Paranoid] Now my studies of the last series show that a high proportion of viewers are christian. They always say they're just like everyone else. So if I go to the party as myself that should endear me to them...
[Disappointed] Does that mean you won't be drinking? I think I need your share.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Embarrassed] wearing a rubber bill clinton mask molded into a perpetual wink, holding a tray of highballs spiked with tequila by mistake.

[Disappointed] ! shame on you for making such a wanton spectacle of yourself. what you need is some good ole stick-to-your ribs, arkansas b-b-q. wink, wink.

[Snigger] (hunches over a typewriter at a desk by the stairs)...do i remind you of someone?

[Roll Eyes] yeah, you remind me of miss moneypenny on crack.

[Snigger] is that all you think about? (scrawls R E D R U M across the desktop) how about now, hmmmm?

[Ultra confused] (sporting a ronald reagan for president t-shirt and a cap with a jfk insignia (aka the american voter)) i know, you're the guy that listened to the beatles and then went on a murderous rampage!

[Yipee] i'll be the White album!
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Snigger] what a bunch of ingrates! that would be my favorite historical character. this is my favorite fictional character.

[Embarrassed] the white album..that pornography. i hope it's the re-issue (sways over to [Roll Eyes] and whispers/slur, d'ya known any livin' soul who owns a copy of the 'riginal with the, um, na-ked bodies on the front?)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] Yep, here I am, the typical Christian. Father, Son, Holy Ghost and all that. In a non-obnoxious way of course.

[Disappointed] <wearing a sheet> I'm a ghost. Or in a toga. You figure it out.

[Ultra confused] <now wearing pin stripes and a slicked-back wig> Look at me, I'm Gordon Gekko!! Hey, just leave the bottle here!!

[Paranoid] That's his third costume so far!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Embarrassed] <jumping away from [Roll Eyes] > I didn't say that! *Urk* I'm gonna be sick! <rushes to bathroom>

[Snigger] Hey [Roll Eyes] , I thought you were going to be your hero Julie Andrews.

[Roll Eyes] That would be "heroine."

[Ultra confused] Hey, I'm no ******* junkie!! You're just all being *******s because you don't know how to have a good time!!

[Paranoid] It's way too early in the series for these blowups--much too melodramatic. Score one for me <glances at tract>. In Love, of course.
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Paranoid] Keep your eyes on these people, I don't trust them. Some of them are far too happy for being locked up in this interminable prison.

[Ultra confused] I am keeping my eyes on everybody but there is so much going on that I can't keep up with it all. Let me out of here!
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Disappointed] Why did I sign up for this? There cannot be anything more boring than sitting around doing nothing, just waiting to be voted out.

[Roll Eyes] You can say that again.

[Disappointed] Why did I sign up for this? There cannot be anything more boring than sitting around doing nothing, just waiting to be voted out.
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Embarrassed] I love it here. This is just so wonderful.

[Yipee] You are so right. This is a wonderful experience. I feel like cartwheeling all round the room, so I will!

[Snigger] You two are the most fun to be with. Look at the others plotting against us. We really ought to stick together and vote out the others first. That way we will be the final three and get the full experience.
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Embarrassed] That's wonderful without you. I was making a nice hot cup of tea and-- uhhhh I'm gunna be sick again-- I think YOU had something to do with it.

[Snigger] Have you seen Deep Throat? You'd make a great Linda Lovelace, baby.

[Embarrassed] Go away you disgusting creature. [Yipee] and I are bonding nicely. And anyway, I'm coming as Aunt Sally out of Worzel Gummidge.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
< [Embarrassed] passes out>

[Snigger] Oh well--so, you still want to have an alliance, [Yipee] ?

[Yipee] Well I don't know after all you put me in the popcorn machine and while it really didn't hurt or anything it still wasn't very nice and thought [Embarrassed] didn't like you--

[Snigger] OK, OK, just get out of my face!
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
---------------------------------------

[Devil] Well viewers, we'll just leave the Smilie Siblings for a moment, because we have a special guest in the studio. Please put your teeth together for....

[Big Grin] Thankyou, mwah-mwah, dahlings.

[Angel] Well, you were, how shall I put this delicately, the s.t.r.u.m.p.e.t of the first series. How do you think this one is shaping up.

[Big Grin] Of course, no-one could rivet you like we could Jocasta, honey. But I think. Well. I've got an inkling that we might be seeing some romance between [Yipee] and [Embarrassed] .

[Angel] Ohhhhhhh. How lovely! Let's hope neither gets voted off. Young love blossoming is so beautiful to watch.

[Devil] (on phone) That's right. Close-ups. I want every word, grunt and exhalation.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
-
[Yipee]
o
o
(romantic thoughs of an exercise bicycle fade from [Disappointed] 's mind.) that figures. how can i compete with mr. and mrs. feng shui? burger joints make millions with those colors.

[Ultra confused] [Ultra confused]
[Ultra confused] [Ultra confused]

look at the pogo stick i found under [Roll Eyes] 's cot!

[Roll Eyes] well, if that's what you want to call it sweetie.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Ultra confused] Hey, don't try to mind**** me, or you'll get hurt!! <throws pogo-stick-looking object, which crashes loudly>

[Snigger] Wow, that was cool! I wish I had thought of that!

[Yipee] Oh no look at all the stuff that was broken are we going to have to clean this up I mean we all can't do it because [Embarrassed] is still passed out but we should at least start because we can't replace it until we do that even if ends the party but I think it was about done already--

[Ultra confused] SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE **** UP!

[Paranoid] I see [Ultra confused] is completely out of control--judging by all he's had at this party, it's in fact amazing he's still alive. He is bound to be next one to leave...
 
Posted by Gabe (# 540) on :
 
[Paranoid] Here [Ultra confused] , have another <handing the already soggy smilie another drink>

[Ultra confused] guzzles it down, crashes to the floor mumbling "Attica..."

[Paranoid] <to self> Crap. What if that wins the audience's pitying affection? The audience can always be swayed by pity.

[Roll Eyes] Right, everybody loves a sloppy drunk.

[Paranoid] You heard that? <to self, maybe> I really need to be more careful with my thoughts.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Day 4: Voting Day

[Devil] Well, did I promise a drunken debacle or what?

[Angel] Now, now, not all of them got drunk!

[Devil] Maybe not, but which ones made the biggest impression?

[Angel] That's for our viewers to decide. We must now bid another smilie adieu. But first, let's welcome another member of the first Smilie Sister!

< [Confused] enters>

[Angel] (Couldn't you get anyone else?)

[Devil] (At this hour?? Give me a break!)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] Well hello, [Confused] ! How have you been occupying yourself?

[Confused] Waiting backstage.

[Angel] Er, yes, but I meant in general.

[Confused] No, I was just backstage.

[Angel] Well, then, what did you do yesterday?

[Confused] I started coming here.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] Why don't you remind the viewers about task suggestions and I'll ask the next question, dear?

[Angel] Good idea. So remember, viewers--

[Confused] OW!

[Angel] What was that, dear?

[Devil] Oh, nothing...

[Confused] mmpf! mmpf! mmpf!...

[Angel] --when you vote, let us know what you think the smilies should do next!
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Ultra confused] must go! The Betty Ford Clinic are offering half price rehab schemes this week only. The Coot says: Thumbs down to [Ultra confused]
 
Posted by Rhisiart (# 69) on :
 
Can't stand this young love business - stop it before it gets out of hand, that's what I say.

A vote for [Yipee] to be evicted, for sanity and to keep the regulators happy
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Roll Eyes] should go, just cos I don't like him/her.

How's about the smilies have a task that will benefit them for the rest of the show; such as building a sauna out of, I dunno, paper mache.
 
Posted by clare (# 17) on :
 
sister smilie! my summer is complete!

I'm jumping right in with an eviction note for [Roll Eyes] . boring boring boring.

clare
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
can't we just not have any more voting days? maybe we could feed all the smilies some of the pot brownies [Sunny] made as a parting gift.
all right, all right.

[Ultra confused] (but not without a season's ticket to all auto races in his area...that should take some of the sting out of this rejection.)
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
tactically, i'm voting for [Ultra confused]

far too freaky.
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Get rid of the elephant's more ailing brother:

[Roll Eyes] Sicker Phant!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
====================================
[Angel] How exciting--a 3-to-3 tie!

[Devil] Our viewers are too smart to throw away their votes!
 
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :
 
Feed [Yipee] to the pig (who may then get some sleep).
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Cool] I have been watching things very carefully and I see that there is a need for a tie-breaker. I am therefore going to ask both of you a question and the best answer will win.

[Ultra confused] I don't think that's fair!

[Roll Eyes] What a ridiculous idea!

[Cool] Good. As you are both in agreement, here is the question:-

"Why should you stay in the competition and your fellow smiley be eliminated?"
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
[Roll Eyes] cause we've both been thinking for an hour and a half, and i'm the only one who's deigned to answer.

besides, [Ultra confused] is just too pissing annoying.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
It's time again for the

SMILIE SISTER PENALTY SHOOT OUT

The next person to post on this thread must vote out either [Roll Eyes] or [Ultra confused] . People who have previously voted on this round can vote again. If you are reading this, ACT NOW. the decision is all yours.
 
Posted by Michelle (# 53) on :
 
Woo hoo!! At last, I matter...

I vote off...

[Roll Eyes]

Too boring! Must keep paranoid smilie! Very entertaining.

Michelle
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] Thank you, Michelle, for solving our little problem-- [Roll Eyes] must find his way in the world outside Smilie Haven.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 5: ACTION DAY

Six smilies in various degrees of fatigue have been notified of [Roll Eyes] 's departure.

[Ultra confused] YEE-ESSS! PASSED THE SECOND ROUND!!--ooowh, my head...I gotta lie down...

[Embarrassed] I'm sure you were on very thin ice yourself.

[Snigger] Hey, you were no convent girl last night, heh-heh...

[Paranoid] [Ultra confused] is still here! This is the second time I've miscalculated! Could I be...fallible??

[Disappointed] We can hear you, you know.

[Paranoid] Dammit!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Yipee] Well I'm glad you're feeling better [Embarrassed] but I brought some aspirin for you just in case and some water because I read somewhere once that a hangover is mostly dehydration and what's all that paper mache doing outside?

[Ultra confused] Huh?--oh, who cares?...ZZZZZZ...

[Disappointed] It's probably part of the next task. The note's over there if someone wants to read it.

[Paranoid] Well, ahem, it is closest to me...<snatches note> Hmm...what the...build a sauna with it??

[Embarrassed] What a frivolous luxury!

[Snigger] I'll provide the cement! *hock-spit*
Heh heh heh...

[Embarrassed] *Urk* Thank God my stomach's already empty...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
< [Yipee] is getting more water when...>

[Yipee] Oh look here's a package why didn't we notice it before it looks like I can open it up though oh a parting gift from [Sunny] how thoughtful especially since I don't think [Roll Eyes] left anything for us but then again there were some issues but anyway it looks like brownies when did [Sunny] have the chance to make them well [Embarrassed] isn't quite up to having any yet but the rest of us should try them before they go stale...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Disappointed] Oh yer. Brownies. I bet [Sunny] spat in them. Take my advice, not that I really care if you don't, and use them to help keep the paper mache together.

[Yipee] What sort of spa would you like [Embarrassed] I wonder if you can get a wood grain effect with paper mache and then when we've built it we can- we can- you and I can bethefirsttotryitout!

[Disappointed] Gag me to death with a brownie.
 
Posted by clare (# 17) on :
 
[Embarrassed] i'm a little concerned about Heat Regulation, You know it's terribly damaging to internal organs to be overheated. I might have to check with Sister Smilie herself about potential health risks...
[Snigger] turn up the gas honey, lie down, close your eyes, and we'll feast on your sweet posk crackling remains.
[Yipee] wow exciting can i watch this is just like daniel in the firey furness I want to see God in his power! drama!
[Paranoid] do i smell a religeous takeover?

[Embarrassed] absentmindedly helps herself to a brownie...
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
[Paranoid] Hmmm... these brownies smell funny-

< [Snigger] snatches them off [Paranoid] >

[Snigger] Hey, [Ultra confused] , want a brownie?
[Ultra confused] Why? What've you done to them? What's wrong with them?
[Snigger] Nothing! Honest!
[Ultra confused] Oh, ok then...
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
[Ultra confused] munch munch... Hey, wait, these aren't brownies...

[Projectile]
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Yipee] oh good now we have something to stick together the sauna with come on everyone lets get cracking on this task not that if we don't anything will happen though I wish it would because it'd put some of you lazy layabouts in trouble oh but that's nasty i'm sorry c'mon it'll be fun and when we're done we can all have a nice sauna now how do we get heat how about we build it around the stove then it'll be nice and cosy and warm
[Embarrassed] That is far too dangerous, fancy thinking you could use an electric cooker in a sauna!
[Disappointed] Great! My chance to end it all
[Ultra confused] I don't feel at all well... [Projectile]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Snigger] Wuss--haven't you ever had a pot brownie before or does it have to be yuppie ****?

[Ultra confused] The way I feel this morning?? You son of a--*SMACK*

[Snigger] ****head! *SMACK*

[Ultra confused] NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET IT, **********!!
<CRASH!>

<meanwhile, outside>

[Paranoid] ...so all we need to do is soak the paper mache in eucalyptis resin--that will provide the structural integrity and provide the salutory vapors saunas frequently use!

[Embarrassed] Ooooh, sounds heavenly...I'll help out as soon as I finish this bag of chips...

[Paranoid] ???
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Disappointed] It will still be a fire hazard.

[Paranoid] Will you shut up if I shut up as well?

[Disappointed] Deal. <both start working>

< [Embarrassed] sidles up to [Yipee] and whispers> Now that those brownies have settled my stomach, I can see I was too harsh with you. I would be honored to try out the suana with you. All the other smilies are either boors or cynics, but you're different. I feel so, relaxed, with you...

[Yipee] <speechless for perhaps the first time in his life>

[ 03 July 2002, 15:01: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Snigger] (in the middle of the brawl collapses to the ground in soundless, prolonged laugher)...what are we doing, man? c'mere (opens his arms to hug [Ultra confused] ) there's just love, brother, and we're the proof, dont'cha see?

[Ultra confused] well, if you really think so. i'm feeling a little sleepy, though...i think i'll take a little nap.

[Paranoid] after using the bog, peeps out from behind a crack in the drapes and peers outside. it's the fuzz! flush your ****!

[Disappointed] i'm not the fuzz, you loser! c'mon where almost finished.

[Paranoid] oh, yeah...well, it doesn't hurt to be careful does it? i brought these chairs out in case....in case...i kinda forget why.

across the yard,

[Embarrassed] have i embarrassed you? because that's the last thing i'd want to do to someone i care so much about. tell me everything you're thinking, feeling. i want to know it all!

[Yipee] nnno. i'm not embarrassed, nnot at all. this feeling just makes my head spin a little, but i'm busy right now rolling this wet slop on the sauna. (braves a look back to see her unwrap third chocoloate bar and staring at the shapes the trees make against the clouds) isn't it so lovely? what does it all mean?
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Paranoid] <to self> hmm those two seem to be hitting it off. I'll have to do something about that if i'm to win.
[Disappointed] would you shut up and finish pebble-dashing your side of the sauna
[Paranoid] stop doing that!!!!

[Embarrassed] well I think our sauna's looking lovely don't you?
[Yipee] beautiful...
[Embarrassed] gorgeous...
[Ultra confused] will you two cut it out, i've been sick enough already. Now where's [Snigger] gone?
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Disappointed] [Snigger] 's got the munchies. And [Yipee] 's tart has scoffed everything in sight.

[Paranoid] Yer. She's eaten enough for two.

[Ultra confused] Enough for two- har har har har har
(slaps [Yipee] on the back accelerating his spin)
Congratulations Spinny, brudda!

[Yipee] ???

[Embarrassed] Oh! The spa's finished! Smashing!
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Ultra confused] Let's open a bottle to celebrate.
I'll have yours.
--Braaaaap--

[Yipee] <staring too intently at [Embarrassed] to appreciate what's going on>
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Embarrassed] so do you want to try out the sauna?
[Yipee] er ok sure yes
[Ultra confused] <glug glug glug> aren't you meant to be naked in those things? or is that turkish baths? I don't care. pass me another bottle.
[Paranoid] <sipping from his half-full glass of wine> I think i'll let them two try it out on their own. Filthy heathen fornicaters that they are.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Disappointed] Do you really think anyone's going to fall for that act?

[Paranoid] I freely forgive you despite your unclean heart.

[Disappointed] Yeah, knock yourself out.

[Ultra confused] How much longer are [Yipee] and [Embarrassed] going to be in there, heh-heh?

<The Love Theme from Tschaikovsky's "Romeo and Juliet" suddenly fills the air>

[Snigger] Hey, who's been touching my boombox?? Stupid classical ****--

<Rage Against the Machine's "Freedom" suddenly fills the air>

[Snigger] YEAAAAAAH!!!!! "ANGER IS A GIFT!!!..."
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
=================================================
[Angel] Well, why won't we take a short break and chat with our two smilies no longer in residence.

[Devil] (*snort*--losers!)

<enter [Sunny] and [Roll Eyes] >

[Sunny] Thank you for a wonderful opportunity. I had an enriching experience and I hope I made a difference.

[Roll Eyes] A difference in how much tie-dye was worn, perhaps.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] You're welcome. Now, in hindsight, would you do anything differently?

[Sunny] Hmm...I'll have to say I would have tried even harder to reach out to my fellow smilies. I sensed so much pain and sadness--we all have to do our share to spread joy.

[Roll Eyes] Something else is being spread around at the moment, methinks.

[Sunny] *Sigh* Still the frightened soul hiding behind a mask. Just remember I'm always willing to listen.

[Angel] Any other comments, [Roll Eyes] ?

[Roll Eyes] Just that [Flaming] was beating up the wrong smilies...
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
[Cool] Hello, I'm Smilie Sister's resident Psychologist. Actually I don't have a degree or anything - the little actual knowledge I have came from a GCSE textbook I once read. But that won't stop me giving my opinion on everyone's interactions.

First up I'm analyzing [Paranoid] :

He's very insecure and needs to be in control. We can see this in the way he reads the task notes, and gives orders to everyone else. He likes his world to be rigid and well-defined, with rules about everything. He's not interacting well with the others, being too busy constantly second-guessing the results of their actions to actually talk with them in a meaningful way.

Interestingly, he's becoming increasingly unsettled by his inability to predict who will be evicted both times so far. This is leading him to formulate increasingly more complex hypotheses about what the public want, and how he should act in order to remain in the house.

He has the potential to get into the final three, providing he stops voicing all his thoughts. Viewers may keep him, because he's scheming and conniving, and they generally like that sort of thing.
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
[Cool] PsychoCow here again

Here's my analysis of [Disappointed] :

Here's the Eeyore of the house, without the loyalty to his friends of course. This dude puts a serious downer on the atmosphere in the house, which is probably a good thing as far as [Embarrassed] and [Yipee] are concerned - they need cooling off! Ahem, back to [Disappointed] Now, where was I? Oh yes, he dampens the atmosphere something rotten. He's incredibly negative and picky, and is always looking for the bad side in anything. He's shown this through both his reaction to the tasks, and in his interactions with the other smilies.

Their reactions to him and his apethetic and negative comments don't appear to have made any difference to him at all. He is immensly secure in himself, not changing for anyone or anything. This may be an asset, or it may not, depending on how the audience decide to see it - courageous with a good self-image, or arrogant and stubborn. If you want me to analyse the audience you should pay me more.

Ok, I'll stick to the question. [Disappointed] 's future? Depending on how the audience see his not-changing and negativity, he might get chucked out soon, or he may go further.
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
Smilie Sister Voiceover guy: <Newcastle accent> It's one am, and [Disappointed] is the only housemate still awa-a-ake

< [Disappointed] is in the kitchen, smoking a cigarette>

[Disappointed] well, what a chuffing nightmare this has turned out to be. <draws on cigarette> I mean, this whole housemate thing was supposed to be a good laugh, but instead I get locked up in here with a maniacal laugh-bag, mr. wizzy and a chuffin' hyper-paranoid freak who makes me dizzy just watching him. They're all just like a bunch of school kids.

Smilie Sister Voiceover guy: [Embarrassed] is having trouble sleeping.

[Embarrassed] hello there!
[Disappointed] oh hi. You know, I'm thinking about leaving.
[Embarrassed] I'm so shocked!
[Disappointed] Yeah, I wanted to be nominated yesterday, but that didn't happen. That was Plan A. Plan B is to go out by the back door, but I don't want to do that - that's like admitting defeat, you know? Looks like it's down to Plan C...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 6: VOTING DAY

[Angel] Many thanks to all of our panel and apologies for being behind schedule. So many unresolved questions! Have [Embarrassed] and [Yipee] consummated their relationship? What is [Disappointed] 's Plan C? How extensive are [Snigger] 's musical tastes? Your vote will decide the answers!
 
Posted by clare (# 17) on :
 
voting out [Snigger] . not that i've anything against evil bitch foul mouthed round objects in general.... it's just this one's becoming a predicatable morph of last year's winner. that strategy won't get past my beedy eyes!

clare
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Yes. I've tired of [Snigger] 's potty mouthed nastiness. The Coot says: Thumbs down to [Snigger]
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Snigger] has to go. Samey and boring.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
well, it being independence day over here and all, and [Snigger] 's last musical selection being so appropriate, i'll vote out [Ultra confused] again, with a complimentary gen. admission ticket to a nascar race where he may find a reason for living.
 
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :
 
[Snigger] 's porcism is unacceptable.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 7: ACTION DAY

[Angel] Well, it looks like [Snigger] will have to leave, having received four votes.

[Devil] Removing the one obstacle to [Embarrassed] and [Yipee] completely nauseating everyone else.

[Angel] We'll see if that indeed happens. Today's task: Develop exciting new flavors of dental floss.
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Paranoid] Right. Let's have a roll call.
<to self: it has fallen upon me to take the invidious leadership roll, thus exposing myself to blame if it all goes testicle-shaped>

[Disappointed] Whatever.

[Embarrassed] Here!

[Yipee] Here here I'm here I'm happy I'm-

[Ultra confused] Buggeroff!

[Paranoid] Who knows anything about dental floss flavours?

[Yipee] Oh great oh great I've got a really great idea, why don't we develop a dental floss flavour that matches the colour we are!

[Disappointed] Groovy. I'm mint. Sigh. But I suppose you'll want a nouveau creative flavour.
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Embarrassed] Oh, [Yipee] your zest for life is so attractive!

[Yipee] <tongue-tied>

[Disappointed] <showing uncharacteristic enthusiasm> I'll develop Nausea Flavour.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Ultra confused] well, i'll be roquefort.

[Embarrassed] that's too stinky. i'll be seedless watermelon.

[Ultra confused] that figures. spitting out the seeds is the only fun part of eating watermelon.

(knock on the door)

[Sunny] hi everybody! i'm volunteering at the lawfirm of Possem, Bossem & Tossem. i'm here to take urine samples of everyone. a disgruntled neighbor filed a complaint because of the noise, smell and foul language. i don't know why everybody doesn't just live and let live.

[Embarrassed] merciful father! i won't! i just tinkled not 15 minutes ago and i just couldn't.

[Paranoid] i want it in writing that my health records will remain confidential.

[Yipee] oh, you guys! i'll go first, hey i could be pee-flavored floss! he he. (goes into bathroom and positions above the cup.) i better flush so no body can hear me...SPLASH...help, i fell in, i'm gluggurlglel [Yipee]
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
This is Smilie Sister.

Will all smilies please make their way into the bedroom.

(Holy F&%$! There's a security breach! Shoot to kill!)
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
[Cool] Well that was all-too predictable, that a security breach would happen. You sold Smilie Sister to the nation - now the nation wants to talk directly to them. Oh, sorry, am I meant to be analyzing the contestants, not the audience?

We-ell, I think they'll mostly conform to orders, and go to the bedroom, apart from some that won't, of course. [Yipee] and [Embarrassed] will go very willingly. [Disappointed] may sigh and tut, but she too will do what she's told, although she will pretend not to like the actvity in the bedroom once she gets there. She'll secretly enjoy it however, because it gives her an oportunity for a seriously good moan. [Paranoid] will wonder what's really going on - maybe we could feed this, by giving contradictory messages and explanations?

And you don't pay me enough to analyze any more today.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 8: VOTING DAY

[Angel] Well, viewers, no startling revelations today. I have no idea which smilie will have to leave next.

[Devil] At least someone hose [Embarrassed] and [Yipee] off!--otherwise, if they're the last two smilies <whiny falsetto> they won't care who comes in first because they love each other so much mwah-mwah-mwah...

[Angel] Words to ponder. Votes and task ideas are now being accepted...
 
Posted by Michelle (# 53) on :
 
I must vote off [Yipee] It is clear to me that [Yipee] has some sort of obsessive compulsive mania borderline personality disorder, which I can't believe PsychoCow hasn't diagnosed.

I have also watched with appalled fascination as [Yipee] tries to lead [Embarrassed] into a life of sinful fornication!! I can't take it anymore. Please, for the sake of [Embarrassed] 's eternal salvation, vote off [Yipee] !!

Finally, [Yipee] is just too damn irritating.

IMHO.

michelle
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Embarrassed] Oh, Spinny!
[Yipee] Oh, Sally!
-Mwaaaaaaaaah!

[Paranoid] They've gotta come up for air sometime.

[Ultra confused] Phwoooarrr.

[Disappointed] Will someone vote me off? Please?
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
It's likely that [Embarrassed] will go into steep decline, (which she can workshop with [Disappointed] ) but thumbs down to [Yipee] .
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Angel] Votes are trickling in now but in the meantime with have another guest in the studio.

[Devil] Thanks Jocasta. To give his professional opinion, here is:

[Happy] Thankyou, Tarquin. Yes, I've been a master builder for 25 years and from what I can see the Smilie Sauna appears to have stood up to 2 days of continuous use by [Embarrassed] and [Yipee] .

[Devil] Incredible.

[Angel] There you are viewers, the Smilie construction meets with Bob the Builder's approval. Well Bob, what task do you have for the smilies tomorrow?

[Happy] Create a beaver lodge and artificial lake in the back yard.
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
I'm voting for [Embarrassed] as he doesn't really do a lot, besides snogging [Yipee] . Anyway, if [Yipee] stays, she'll really annoy [Disappointed] , which will be nice.

Viki

PS I really want to vote for [Cool] to win, but don't think I'm allowed [Frown]
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
hey, where did that blockhead come from?

well, i vote off [Ultra confused] (with a bleacher ticket to suffolk downs.)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Of note this week...

Smilie Sister 2: Hit or Hype?

The long-awaited sequel to Smilie Sister, while not overly disappointing, suffers from the sequel-itis that has afflicted its less-virtual competitors.

Despite new elaborations to the point of baroque extravgance (two omniscent hosts, a psychologist, and cameos from practically every non-participating smilie litter the proceedings), the world of the partipating smilies is, paradoxically, now more mundane; there have yet been no fanciful adventures outside of the compound and the current social explosions are now seedy instead of outrageous.

The inability of SS2 to fully escape from its predecessor's shadow can be seen in the many allusions to the original show, which often fall into the realm of smirking coyness.

The most significant problem, however, is in the new smilies themselves. Cursed by the Smilie Sister legacy, they are too aware of the game's rules and attach too much importance to achieving ascendancy. Out of the remaining smilies, the most blatant example of this ethos is the ineffectually scheming [Paranoid] , but the rash, dissipated [Ultra confused] also relies on the unseen audience for self-worth. [Embarrassed] , before her not-too-ironically-pot-induced infatuation with [Yipee] (the latter perhaps the only "innocent" smilie), spent most of her time trying to dictate how the other smilies should behave in front of the audience and almost vice-versa. Even [Disappointed] 's ennui is a perverse acknowledgement of the audience--like the atheist who, by constantly denying God, is constantly thinking of Him.

All in all, SS2 can still entertain--perhaps more than most "reality" productions--but the decrease in vitality and spontaneity is discernible.

[ 06 July 2002, 19:54: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 9: ACTION DAY

[Angel] Well, viewers, while there was no clear mandate for an ejectee, [Yipee] must leave us, having received two votes.

[Devil] And all haters of Young Love rejoice!

[Angel] So, a beaver lodge and artificial lake it is...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<at the compound...>

[Ultra confused] <now totally revived after a lot of coffee and "some other stuff"> Top half! Top half! Woo-hoo!!

[Embarrassed] Damn your callous attitude! Poor [Yipee] was worth ten of you!

[Paranoid] <to self> Here's the chance for a clever put-down. The audience will love this! <out loud> *cough* *cough* *cough* slut *cough*

<SLAP!>

[Embarrassed] WE DID NOTHING AN UNMARRIED COUPLE WOULD BE ASHAMED OF...Oh, why do I even bother?? <runs out sobbing>

[Disappointed] Let's get this over with...hmm, a beaver lodge and artificial lake. Why am I not surprised?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] <cheek still smarting> Well, don't expect much help from [Embarrassed] if she's going to be so touchy.

[Ultra confused] We already did a building project. But what the hell--I feel GREAT! So let's get moving! After that, we'll build a hot tub! Woo-hoo! <runs out to start digging>

<enter a beaver>

beaver: I wish the rest of you had his attitude.

[Paranoid] Who are you??

beaver: Well, I mostly play Mr. Big on the Story Relay Thread, but I'm semi-retired now. So how about that lodge?--I'm not getting any younger...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Disappointed] Yer well. Take a seat in this nice rocking chair and start gnawing these branches to a useful regular size.

beaver: <gnawing>

[Disappointed] I see you've given up the Christian act.

[Paranoid] No. -Brother. I have earnestly repented of bearing false witness against my sister and am now about to express my contrition to her in person.

<to self: This is it! This is it! I cement myself in the viewers' hearts!>

[Embarrassed] <sobbing in sauna>

[Paranoid] <calling out> Sister, before God and my brothers and sisters I am heartily sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

[Embarrassed] <sniffing> Well. I'm having difficulty getting massage oil onto the middle of my diameter.

[Paranoid] <to self: Yes! Yes! Nice guy with love interest! I can't fail!>
 
Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on :
 
[Happy] Was a bit square for this game?
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
[Disappointed] Right. That's it. I'm not taking any more of this banal crap. I'm off. Buh bye!

<runs through the garden, jumps up onto the chicken coop, climbs the ivy and bounds over the roof, never to be seen again...>

[Ultra confused] Well, blow me!
[Paranoid] You know, we should've seen this coming.
[Embarrassed] Wonder if they'll send in a replacement?
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Disappointed] i was history until i got to the mote. what wiseacre let the piranha lose in there?

beaver: why else do you think i'm gnawing wood on a rocking chair?

[Embarrassed] (drifts off into a daydream/nightmare of her roomates playing frisbee with her beloved, lakeside)

[Disappointed] ..... [Yipee] ..... [Paranoid]
................. [Ultra confused] ....................

[Devil] think of the catches [Snigger] would've made.

beaver: hey you, wake up! you a part of this team or what? leeet's go!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Ultra confused] Yeah-baby!! The hole's done! Now all I have to is line it with sand and add some water and plants. Look at me, I'm LAKE-Man!

[Disappointed] If I had taken the stuff he must be on now, I would have been able to jump over those piranhas.

[Embarrassed] You should occupy yourself to get over disappointments. I might as well get all these branches together.

[Paranoid] Here, let me help you--it's the least I can do. <to self> Proceeding as planned...

beaver: Be careful with that stuff--I'm going to have to summer here, remember...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<several hours later>

beaver: That'll do--have to remember you're beginners. Well, there's my helicopter...

[Disappointed] So that's how he got in here.

beaver: Catch you later. Feel free to use the lake. <exits>

[Ultra confused] Gee, how generous, considering I MADE it! ***hole! You bet I'm going to use the **** out of it--Woo-hoo! <cannonballs into the lake>

[Embarrassed] I wish [Yipee] was here to enjoy this.

[Paranoid] I'm sure he misses you too. <to self> Score points for Mr. Sensitive...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 10: VOTING DAY

[Angel] Well, viewers, things have picked up a bit. An attempted escape, mood swings, and Machiavellian intrigue. It will be tough to decide who must leave next.

[Devil] I'm starting to agree with you, dear-- [Disappointed] should definitely be made to stay the longest.

[Angel] As always, though, it's up to the viewers to decide. Lets see those votes and task ideas!
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
[Embarrassed] has to go now. Since [Yipee] left there's no point to it, and that was getting boring. We should stop her sluttish ways before they start to corrupt poor innocent christian living [Paranoid] . Get her/him out.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
while it can be entertaining to watch the meanies turn on each other when their prey is removed, i'll still vote off [Eek!] (with a free bottle of water to watch the next match of his local high school tennis team.)

[Devil] boring! what are the viewers all osborne's?

[Angel] of course not, dear. they're just all right-living Christians who don't want to encourage back biting behavior. perhaps you should take a lesson from their inclusive living style?

[Devil] oooh...i love it when you act so righteous...hey look nobody's in the sauna, how bout we put it through its paces?

[Angel] (chuckling angelically)...you know i don't like the heat, m'love, you go on without me.
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
I don't know. They're all a bit pathetic aren't they? I like [Disappointed] 's cynicism and [Paranoid] 's transparent attempts at worldliness. We need a girlie for the other smilies to fight over so [Embarrassed] should stay. They means the demographically undesirable [Ultra confused] must go.

Thumbs down to [Ultra confused]
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
are [Eek!] and [Ultra confused] related?...i did mean to vote off [Ultra confused] (i can smell victory!)
 
Posted by Fudge (# 425) on :
 
Get rid of [Ultra confused] , cos then [Paranoid] might get his finger out and snog [Embarrassed] . She's acted like an angel, but I bet she isn't. Anyway, Paranoid needs to loosen up.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 11: ACTION DAY

[Angel] It looks like [Ultra confused] must go, having amassed three votes. Our remaining smilies must plan and film a commercial announcement promoting SS2 and themselves. Money is no object, but they must provide the labor.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] But first, let's check in where [Ultra confused] is drowning his sorrows with his former fraternity brothers. Let's go to the livecam--

[Ultra confused] [Ultra confused] [Ultra confused] WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Devil] Seems like you guys are having fun.

[Ultra confused] We're just trying to cheer him up, man--I mean, what the **** was the audience thinking??

[Ultra confused] Yeah, he's in the back puking even worse than usual--the only decent smilie on the ******' show, man, I don't ******' believe it--yo, another round, man!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] So you don't care for the other smilies? Do tell us your opinion.

[Ultra confused] Like, give us a ******' break--you have a *****, an ***hole, and a...hey, is [Disappointed] a ***** or an ***hole?

[Ultra confused] Uh...who cares, they all SUCK!

[Ultra confused] YEAH!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

[Devil] And now back to the compound...
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
(camera slowly closes in from distance (a little shaky because beaver cannot walk and manage the video too well) and pans trio engaged in solitary activities by the now flourishing lakesdie flora and fauna shipped in for the film including exotic giant venus flytraps, a forest of teak, hundreds of orchids, a herd of giraffes, peacocks, the loch ness monster, and a special guest appearance by a famous collie.)

beaver: (special engagement) on three...roll

[Embarrassed] (thinks of [Yipee] momentarily. the slightest things....) yes, (plucking orchid and placing it behind her ear, barely avoiding the snapping flytrap next to it) it seems idyllic,(giraffes undualte by in background) doesn't it? a fabulous villa, manicured grounds, two men willing to fight to the death...(famous collie nudges [Embarrassed] 's hand and whimpers)

[Paranoid] (pokes head in from side) uh, i'm not willing to fight. and nobody mentioned death. (famous collie growls)(strange shadow flits across lake)

beaver: CUT! okay wiseguy, you'll get your turn, back off.

[Disappointed] (whispers to [Paranoid] ) have you noticed how she never tans, just stays that hideous red?

[Paranoid] i hope she doesn't have scarlet fever...and she never told me she liked dogs. do you want to slip off for a drink or something?

(famous collie baring teeth, frothing at mouth.)

[Embarrassed] what is it girl?
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Famous collie: When you're on Smilie Sister, you can get rid of those blue [Paranoid] , green [Disappointed] and beaver-coloured days.

Let's hear from smilies of the past:
[Confused] I was a- I was. I was something before I appeared on Sm- Smelly- Smeggy Cistern.

[Big Grin] I was a strumpet before I appeared on Smilie Sister. And guess what? I still am.

[Flaming] I didn't need Smilie Sister to be the legend I already was.

[Smile] My rare droopy eyelid condition cleared up after I was on Smilie Sister.

[Cool] Smilie Sister. So bright you almost need sunglasses.

[Razz] Apply for Smilie Sister today. Scads of Smilies for everyone to snog!
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Frown] Smilie Sister gives you a chance to educate the community about mental illness.

[Eek!] The voyeur within the voyeur within the voyeur. Blah blah. Pseudo-intellectual arthouse dribble. Legitimate your desire to capture porn on film. -Click-
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
< [Embarrassed] in a group shot with famous collie, giraffes, and Loch Ness Monster> Smilie Sister...not just a show, but a way of life.

beaver: And...cut!

[Paranoid] That was...a lot of stuff.

[Embarrassed] I didn't approve of everything said, but the moral choice was to avoid censorship.

[Disappointed] I thought you were allergic to plants.

[Embarrassed] Oh no! I forgot! <smacks orchid off ear and starts scratching furiously>

[Disappointed] My turn. <points video camera at self> Smilie Sister 2's final day is July 12--then we can go home. <switches camera off> Done.

[Paranoid] <hopefully to self> Uh oh...the Gen-Xers will love that low-budget apathy. What will I do?--I have to think...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] When in doubt, stick with the formulas...

<and so>

<slow ominous music, dark background>

<fade in shot of [Embarrassed] >
< [Paranoid] voice over>What secret passions burn inside this smilie?

<fade in shot of [Disappointed] >
< [Paranoid] voice over>A smilie helplessly adrift in an arbitrary world--what unseen terrors await?

<fade in shot of [Paranoid] >
< [Paranoid] voice over> And me?--they just better not get in my way...
Smilie. Sister. Two.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 12: VOTING DAY

[Angel] Some very characteristic work here, I should say.

[Devil] The Loch Ness Monster looked good.

[Angel] Oh yes, definitely. Well, viewers, this is the Home Stretch--the decision on whom to vote for will probably be the most difficult yet. Here's hoping for a splendid turnout and some ideas for the FINAL task!
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
hmmm...should [Embarrassed] get the boot because of the awful hives she's breaking out in from exposure to plant material?

it really becomes a question of voting for nationalist colors [Embarrassed] and [Paranoid] or Christian colors [Embarrassed] and [Disappointed] .

i'll go Christian ...ba-bye [Paranoid] (get that squint checked out! you'll ruin your eyes.)
 
Posted by Holy-Stone (# 2900) on :
 
I'm gonna stick with ridding the show of [Embarrassed]

Which would leave the irony of [Disappointed] winning or the glory of [Paranoid] 's plans coming to fruition.

Really I just don't like [Embarrassed]
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Disappointed] just does not offer enough. And in today's economic rationalist climate, that's enough to get the thumbs down from The Coot.
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
Oooh, it's exciting, one vote for each of the smilies! So I shall I vote for, to break the deadlock?

Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[Big Grin] Ok, I'm voting off [Embarrassed] because she doesn't really do a lot!

Viki
 
Posted by Wobabylon (# 3013) on :
 
Hi there all, as my first post on this glorious ship I would vote off [Paranoid] he is just too scheming and dull.

It would be interesting to see how [Disappointed] and [Embarrassed] cope left together!
 
Posted by Amorya (# 2652) on :
 
I'd like to vote off [Embarrassed] as well - it'll be interesting to see the fight between [Disappointed] and [Paranoid] for the final vote!

Amorya
 
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :
 
I'd say give [Embarrassed] the boot. She's just not interesting anymore now that [Yipee] has gone.

Sieg
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 13: ACTION DAY

[Angel] With four votes, [Embarrassed] must now leave. At least she'll be reunited with [Yipee] .

[Devil] We'll keep that drivel off-camera, thank you very much.

[Angel] As was predicted by a voter, the field of action has narrowed down to a smilie who is desperate to win and one who couldn't care less and wishes to avoid the limelight. Will Wish Fulfillment or Ironic Twist prevail? My personal preference has already been made clear, but nothing is certain in the world of Smilie Sister.

[Devil] The final task...must be decided by the Smilies themselves! Will that mess with their heads or what?

[ 11 July 2002, 05:35: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
[Paranoid] hmm... we have to decide the task ourselves. How post-modern.
[Disappointed] whatever.
[Paranoid] I know, why don't we make the task chosing a task in itself?
[Disappointed] I'm going to bed. There's an incessant whining noise in here.
[Paranoid] There is? Oh, if I've just completed the task by chosing the task of chosing a task, does that mean I win?
[Disappointed] Oh, for the love of God...
[Paranoid] Are you ignoring me?
[Disappointed] Take a *%&*ing stab in the dark.
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Disappointed]

[Paranoid]

[Disappointed]

[Paranoid]

[Disappointed]

[Paranoid]
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
(who would have thought [Paranoid] and [Disappointed] were capable of perfecting cloning overnight, or of producing fully grown replicas of themselves? yes, we're all a bit taken aback, but there they are lined up for the swim contest and we should be hearing the "start" whistle any time now.)

[Disappointed] i wish i could get the water out of my ears...that test swim was murder.

[Paranoid] well my eyes are really sore from all that chlorine.

[Disappointed] i don't like diving, i'm not doing it.

[Paranoid] my bathing cap is too tight.

[Disappointed] just stop straying into my line, all of you!

[Paranoid] can i trust my own clones?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] [Paranoid] [Paranoid] No, you can't...

[Paranoid] AAAAAGH!!!!!

<wakes up>

Oh, it was just a dream...wait a minute, THAT'S IT!!! We must act out every cliche ending possible!

< [Embarrassed] rushes in>

Oh, [Paranoid] , I was so wrong about [Disappointed] ! I was fooled by his city-slicker ways--I now know we're meant for each other! Can you ever forgive me?

[Paranoid] Of course, honey! <passionate clutch. Music swells...>

[ 11 July 2002, 15:32: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<enter [Disappointed] > Not so fast, [Paranoid] ! The ice cubes were out long enough to melt--that proves you were the murderer!

[Paranoid] You'll never take me alive! <jumps out window...>

[ 11 July 2002, 15:33: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<and tumbles into a rocket aimed at the Sun>

[Disappointed] I see you've fallen into my little trap, Mr. [Paranoid] ...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<but then it starts raining>

[Paranoid] Our crops are saved!! Time for the big musical number...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<clones re-enter>

[Paranoid] [Paranoid] [Paranoid] [Paranoid] We only have a few more hours to go;
We hope you all enjoyed the Smilie Sister Shoooow--


<meanwhile, [Disappointed] stands at the seashore, staring at nothing...>
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
And as the sun sets over the ocean, [Disappointed] & [Paranoid] walk off hand in hand into the distance.

Credits roll.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Followed by outtakes--

< [Paranoid] jumps out of window, completely misses rocket and falls flat on his face>

[Disappointed] Pfft. Typical...
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
as they walk toward the sunset, [Paranoid] (takes out spoons, starts playing the barber of seville) click click click clIIIck click

[Disappointed] (takes out jew's harp, starts playing moonlight sonata) boing boing twang boing boing twang

when they are out of sight, a messenger arrives at the deserted villa with an important letter for both of them...shrugs and props the letters against the door. over the span of several hundreds of years, they turn to dust and blow away.
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Puke] Hey, I watched the whole show from start to finish and then I [Projectile]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] We're running out of endings.

[Disappointed] I was fine just sitting around.

[Paranoid] Oh, all right...

[Disappointed] <stares into space>

[Paranoid] <tries to get comfortable in seat>

[Disappointed] <dozes off>

[Paranoid] <notices crack in ceiling>

[Disappointed] <still dozing>
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
DAY 14: VOTING DAY

[Angel] Well, that was sort of a Beckett-ish conclusion to the proceedings, wasn't it?

[Devil] To quote [Disappointed] , "whatever."

[Angel] This is it, ladies and gentlemen--the winner of the second Smilie Sister competition will now be determined...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Paranoid] showed stamina and a well-developed Protestant work ethic, together with Alec Guiness flexibility in prostituting himself to the fickle desires of the audience. I like that in a smilie.

[Disappointed] finally gets what he wants. Thumbs down, [Disappointed] .

[bloody 'ell! I lost track of the number of posts on the thread, didn't check it and missed out on the Action Day]
 
Posted by Rhisiart (# 69) on :
 
This is difficult. [Paranoid] so much wants to win, he has redefined himself about twice a day in order to keep up with the audience. [Disappointed] appears not to care, but is it all a front - is [Disappointed] the Jade of Smilie Sister? (For non-watchers of Big Brother 3 - just don't ask)

What the heck - I'll vote for [Paranoid] to win, out of a sense of solidarity with paranoid androids everywhere.

[Paranoid] for the prize!!
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
I vote for [Disappointed] .

The meek shall inherit the earth and I want a part of it.
 
Posted by Stoo (# 254) on :
 
[Disappointed] to win!

Go [Disappointed] !
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
i think [Disappointed] has already taken over the world. so i vote for [Paranoid] for showing some emotion (even if unintentionally), enthusiasm, and because [Disappointed] is a grim pea.

never-before-seen family photo:

.............. [Disappointed] [Disappointed] [Disappointed] [Disappointed] [Disappointed]
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
The Sauna Photos

[Devil] [Disappointed]

[Disappointed] [Devil]

[Big Grin] [Devil] [Disappointed]
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Angel] Why is Tarquin interviewing [Disappointed] in the sauna? More to the point, WHAT'S THAT TART, [Big Grin] DOING IN THE SAUNA WITH TARQUIN?
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Big Grin] everything you weren't willing to do, sugar! (blows kiss at tarquin) if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen, and all that..

[Devil] (grovels up to [Angel] and whispers) buttercup, she's nothing to me. don't pout, come on and play your harp for me. pleeeease.

[Angel] (with that forgiving expression) well, allright. (begins plucking and singing)...you give me fever...
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
[Paranoid] to win!
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
The crowd is watching transfixed ......

[Frown] [Razz] [Cool] [Mad]
[Embarrassed] [Big Grin] [Confused] [Projectile]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
LOUD BRASSY FANFARE

[Angel] Many apologies for being so delayed. We had requested a substitute but...

By the power vested in us by the Heaven Network, We officially proclaim [Paranoid] the winner, having amassed 67% of all votes.

[Devil] LET THE MEDIA CIRCUS BEGIN!


[ 13 July 2002, 13:39: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
(the winner at the winner's mansion)

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Paranoid] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Devil] So how does it feel to be the last one standing?

[Paranoid] This is just wonderful beyond my wildest dreams. I never expected to win! I just thought 'Well. I'll just be myself'. I am so shocked! And so happy! I think I'm going to cry.

[Waterworks] In fact, I think I will.
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Devil] Working the crowd 'til the last. And now I have a special interview with [Big Grin] to record, which we shall be screening by delayed telecast. Or something.
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Projectile] It's a fix!

Some of us were not allowed to enter!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
From The Official Smilie Sister Website ("Your source for all things Smilie"):

Smilie Sister/SS2 Comparison Stats

Primary Removal Reason Code Key
A=Annoying
B=Boring
U=Unproductive
T=Tactical

First Removal
SS1: [Big Grin] A
SS2: [Sunny] A

Second Removal
SS1: [Cool] U
SS2: [Roll Eyes] A/B

Third Removal
SS1: [Wink] B
SS2: [Snigger] A/B

Fourth Removal
SS1: [Razz] U/T
SS2: [Yipee] A/T
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Fifth Removal
SS1: [Frown] A
SS2: [Ultra confused] A/T

Sixth Removal
SS1: [Confused] T
SS2: [Embarrassed] A/B

Seventh Removal
SS1: [Eek!] A
SS2: [Disappointed] A/U
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Winner

SS1: [Flaming] --though the smilie's hostile attitude (as well as acts of outright violence) annoyed some viewers, many admired the smilie's decisiveness, lack of pretense, and refusal to suffer fools gladly.

SS2: [Paranoid] --this smilie tried to be all things to all people; if [Flaming] was the ruthless despot, [Paranoid] was the scheming courtier. Won through the audience's indulgence instead of its respect.

In postscript--without a strong authority figure, the victory of a personality like [Paranoid] 's is perhaps inevitable. [Eek!] , the close second in the first Smilie Sister, after all, can be interpreted as a more confident and street-smart version of [Paranoid] (they're even a similar color!). [Continued]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Ultra confused] and [Snigger] , while approximating [Flaming] 's violence, had none of the latter smilie's self-discipline and resultant charisma, further tipping the balance to [Paranoid] .

On the other hand, the determination of ascendant personalities may all be cyclic. If there is ever a third season of Smilie Sister, the winner could be a bored enervate similar to [Disappointed] . Only time will tell.

A parting observation--Naivete, to judge by both shows, will never win out in the end (be it [Confused] or [Yipee] ).
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
[Cool] Naivete is just too boring to the viewers. They prefer scheming so-and-so's, or at least someone with a bit of nous, who knows how to play the game. However naivete and innocence are humoured/indulged for a while, before they grow boring.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] Though I don't see excitement in it, we've decided to be magnanimous and show the reunion of [Embarrassed] and [Yipee] . Hidden cameras are a wonderful thing...

<The couple is seated at a sensibly-priced cafe>

[Embarrassed] It's nice to have one's life back to normal...not doing things one usually wouldn't do...So...how did you spend your time?

[Yipee] Oh I couldn't do much without you of course I mean I watched you on the show but we couldn't do anything together but you know what I mean just like I wanted you to win but I'm glad we're together again even if it means you won't be as big a celebrity but I hope that doesn't matter especially since...you're not talking very much.

[Embarrassed] <sigh, then determined gulp> [Yipee] , we do need to talk...
 
Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
[Snigger] Look at those two talking.

[Devil] Yes, disgusting isn't it!

[Confused] Which two?

[Happy] I don't think you should gossip!

[Disappointed] No good will come of this.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
(film gets blurry, then transparent for several frames, random marks flit by, a new scene appears...seems to be a woman in the bedroom of the villa filmed while she was sleeping...hard to see who it is in the dark...)

[Embarrassed] zzzzzzz

[Devil] (scrambles to fidget with video) don't know how on earth that got in here. (switches videos)

[Embarrassed] you see, [Yipee] , i've met someone else.

[Yipee] i think it's great to meet new people.

(looks toward the plate glass window where the famous collie is patiently sitting outside waiting with it's head cocked to one side) er, it's not a people...and i'm in love! (grabs a waiter's arm and whispers) can you bring my friend a bowl of cold water...yes, the long-haired one by the door...and a large beef bone if you have it.

[Ultra confused] can you put it on pause, i have to use the loo.

[Waterworks] sure, this is the sad part anyway (aims the remote and everyone stares at the tv)

[Smile]
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
[Disappointed] No good will come of it: [Embarrassed] and a dog just won't last. And [Yipee] will be so unhappy.

[Cool] Well I just say that the saying: 'Dog is Man's best friend,' is certainly true in this case. And you'll all a bunch of prurient voyeurs. Now unpause the vid, so I can see the rest. I've gotta analyse it, you know!
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Yipee] well, i'd never want to stand in the way of your happiness...i guess i'll move along now.

( [Yipee] rolls out door past famous collie, whose eyes widen, ears shoot up straight as he bounds after with exuberance.)

...some moments later,

famous collie stands outside cafe wagging tail vigorously.

(audience gasps)

[Snigger] did he eat the little cheezball?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
< [Yipee] rolls back> No actually he just wanted to show there were no hard feelings so he gave me the card of his agent so I can possibly exploit having been on Smilie Sister even if I didn't win because Fifteen Minutes of Fame and all that but it's amazing how much control that dog has over its finances...

[Embarrassed] <cuddling Famous Collie> I knew you would do the noble thing! [Yipee] is, of course, very nice, and I will always remember him, but, to be honest, I wasn't in my right mind when my infatuation started...

Famous Collie: Of course, my dear. Now we have a Marriage of True Minds, if I may quote the Bard.

[Embarrassed] Oh, yes!--mere physical passion is so fleeting and trivial when my soul speaks to your soul--

[Devil] BLEEECCCHHH!! Let's watch another camera--ANY other camera...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] Let's follow up on [Roll Eyes] --it appears he's trying to get his hosting career back on track. Here's a clip of him auditioning to be a judge on "American Idol 2:"

[Roll Eyes] I liked your singing, but to be fair I also like listening to cats in heat walking on barbed wire.

Producer: I love it!!
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Sunny] oh yes, i remember that album. it was by whats'is'name's asian wife.....the whole record sounded like a cat walking on barbed wire...my, she was ahead of her time wasn't she?

[Disappointed] you both have warped and twisted minds.

[Devil] did someome mention a cat in heat? i love those!

[Embarrassed] hmph! i knew they were prejudiced all along...discriminating against dogs is what they're doing.

[Devil] (throws his head back) aaaOOOOOOO
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<Taking a break away from his fawning entourage, [Paranoid] relaxes in his posh hotel suite>

<clicking remote> Ooo, a Star Trek Marathon...<cell phone rings> Make me happy.

[Eek!] You'll never guess what I've gotten for you--you'll be the biggest Smilie EVER!

[Paranoid] You once prmised that about [Confused] , but I'm still listening.

[Eek!] Three Words--Episode. Three. Star.

[Paranoid] <to self> OHMIGODOMIGODYESYESYES!!!! <out loud> And what part would I be playing?

[Eek!] Who cares?--you're in, that's what matters...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Disappointed] FINALLY, I'm home--no more of that Smilie Sister nonsense. Now I can relax. <reclines on couch> Maybe something's on IFC (checks TV Guide)--no, just the usual pretentious drivel. I'll just take a nap.

<dozes off>

<sun sets>

<still dozing>
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Coming soon...

The SS2 Reunion

Will [Sunny] have a brush with Reality?
Will [Roll Eyes] provoke yet another smilie to violence?
Will [Snigger] ever act in a remotely mature manner?
How will [Yipee] cope with a broken heart?
Will [Ultra confused] 's lust for life be his ultimate undoing?
Is it possible to know too much about [Embarrassed] and the Famous Collie?
How will [Disappointed] be persuaded/coerced/tricked into showing up?
[Paranoid] --what a superstar! Who can stand in his way?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Announcer: It's the Smilie Sister 2 Reunion! With your hosts--Tarquin and Jocasta Smith-Smythe-Smith!

<Applause>

[Angel] Thank you all for tuning in--we are so proud of how our show turned out!

[Devil] We're mainly proud of the profit shares and tie-in merchandising, though!

[Angel] Perhaps, but it wouldn't have been possible without our cast of smilies. Let's bring them out now! <applause> First we have [Sunny] --

[Sunny] I just hope everyone's feeling as good as I am!

[Angel] --and then [Roll Eyes] --

[Roll Eyes] --I see they haven't painted since the last Reunion.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] And here's [Snigger] --

[Snigger] Hey, you're pretty hot, heh-heh-heh...

[Angel] *ahem* And now we have [Yipee] --

[Yipee] Thank you very much for having me on though I guess you're having all the smilies on who were on the show but it's still nice I guess but I guess I'll just sit down since I've probably said more than enough...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] Which brings us to [Ultra confused] --

[Ultra confused] ...ugh, a little, er, under the weather again...is that my seat?

[Angel] --and then [Embarrassed] --

[Embarrassed] Common politeness requires me to thank you for being on.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] And here's our runner-up, [Disappointed] , who almost couldn't make it--

[Devil] Until some persuasion to the effect that a certain smilie would be put in Tabloid Speculation Hell otherwise...

[Disappointed] You can't make me say anything, though...

[Angel] And finally, our winner, [Paranoid] !

[Paranoid] Thank you, Jocasta and Tarquin. Lovely seeing you again, and I mean that sincerely.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] To start things off--in our goal to make Smilie Sister 2 as intimate and invasive as possible, we have some clips of things you might have missed...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<video clip of [Snigger] wearing a swiped pair of [Embarrassed] 's underwear, admiring himself in the mirror>

Video Clip: Oh yeah, I'm a naughty girl...

[Snigger] HEY!

[Embarrassed] *Urk*

[Angel] If all the clips are of that nature, dear, perhaps we should move on. Besides, I hear there's enough of that going on at the Miss SoF Pageant.

[Devil] Oh, all right. Moving on the traditional Questions From The Audience. Anyone?...
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
To [Embarrassed]

What is your future with the Famous Collie? Is there anywhere you can be legally married?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Embarrassed] Although I don't think it's any of your business, I know enough of the world what dirty-minded people will assume. I will simply say that our relationship, though close, is chaste enough that we needn't worry of its legality.

[Devil] <under breath>ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...<out loud> Next question?
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
A question for [Paranoid]

[Paranoid] Did you have any kind of plan to try and win the game?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] Thank you for your interest--events were so chaotic, the competition so merciless, my foes so vicious--

[Sunny] Huh?

[Paranoid] --that I had no time to develop a coherent strategy. I was always thinking on my feet, forced to constantly re-adapt in a hostile atmosphere, relying only my skill and intuition--oh, the solace of my recently-acquired Faith helped too.

I hope to bring the same intelligence and energy to all my future endeavors and that my humble efforts will be of some interest to you, The Public. Thank you.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Angel] can you say a little more about this "faith"? what church, for instance, hmmm?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] Oh, well, hmm, I'm still seeking the right church--one that isn't a cult or something--you can never be too careful.

[Angel] Fair enough, but what influences made you decide to become pursue Chrisitianity?

[Devil] (*Snicker* This should be good...)
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Paranoid] i'm still thinking.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Paranoid] because, I observed the behavior of the church-going voters in the original "Smilie Sister," and that impressed me? Yes, of course, that's why...yes.

[Angel] I see...we'll leave things at that, and go to the next question.

>To [Yipee]
>Are you seeing anyone else yet?
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Yipee] well, no. but my granny always said there's more than one tin can in the dump and i'm finding that a friday evening where you can do whatever you want, like take a walk in town and stop in and have a smoothie or a pretzel or maybe stop in the bookstore or the record store or look at the stars or see a movie like eight legged freaks that nobody else wants to see, or nothing at all, is really nice so i don't think i really want to see anybody right now if you know what i mean.

[Angel] tsk tsk the poor dear.

[Yipee] no, really, i'm good, it's okay.

[Angel] (casts knowing glance at others)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Embarrassed] I think it's cruel the way you're tormenting poor [Yipee] .

[Ultra confused] You should've thought of that before shacking up with another species.

[Embarrassed] That's exactly the kind of response I expected from you.

[Ultra confused] At least I'm not a two-timing hypocrite!

[Embarrassed] Oh, just keep your mind in the gutter where it's always been!

[Roll Eyes] And I thought Jerry Springer was cancelled...
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Yipee] don't fret [Embarrassed] . it would only be tormenting if i had any expectations that were dashed. but i've been around the block a few times and i know the neighborhood. see ya around.

[Embarrassed] okay, be careful, so long!

(few seconds later....SSSCCCRREEEEEECCHHHH!!! BANG!)

[Embarrassed] OH MY GOD!!! my collie's been hit by a bus!

[Devil] (mutters to himself...guess i'll have to find new renters for the basement apartment)
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Angel] I am reporting live from the Veterinary Hospital, where the Famous Collie is recuperating from his accident. He is now out of danger, but what will be the repurcussions to his career? [Embarrassed] has secluded herself, so we have can have no update on her opinions. While we wait, perhaps some more questions from back at the studio?

[Devil] Of course. You in the corner--

To [Roll Eyes]
How did you do in your lawsuit against [Flaming] ?
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Roll Eyes] oh that little misunderstanding? we settled...i'm meeting [Flaming] at the club in a bit for some lunch and a quick game of golf... care to join us?

[Devil] uh, no thanks...i have to install a ceiling fan for one of my tenants.

meanwhile, FC had a bit of a setback overnight and was put in the oxygen tank and allowed no visitors...this according to a cute fox terrier in the bed next to him.
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] So, what's the next question?

>Uh, can we go now? We've been sitting here for a couple of hours since that dog got run over--and not all the smilies are here anymore.

[Devil] (Damn, they noticed!) Very well--we'll have the traditional goodbye posts, starting with the first smilie removed and ending with our winner, [Paranoid] ...
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Sunny] oh my, just like that saying the last shall be first...

[Devil] (maybe i should've suggested everyone's lining up to do a farewell cancan and then handed out tomatoes for target practice.)

[Angel] yes, i hope somebody kept track...seems like a bit of work to remember. is there a reward?
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Devil] Oh, for crying out loud...

The order is [Sunny] , [Roll Eyes] , [Snigger] , [Yipee] , [Ultra confused] , [Embarrassed] , [Disappointed] , and then...the winner mentioned before.

Hah! Thought I'd have to use another post, didn't you!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Sunny] Oh, wow, another chance to wish everyone a really super life! This really makes my day!

A parting thought--remember, we're all travelers together on Spaceship Earth...
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Roll Eyes] Uh, yer. It's been great. That's G-R-A-T-E. Grate. Buh bye.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Angel] (whisphering to tarquin) i never liked that one...so negative all the time.

[Devil] he's all right, jocastrate, just a little mucked about.

[Angel] what did you call me?

[Devil] huh? what do you mean? i called you jocasta, your name.

[Angel] no! i heard exactly what you called me! can i help it if you're better at keeping track of all these losers!

[Snigger] ahem...if you'll take your throne, deary, i'll get on with my farewell. well everybody...guess it's time to make like a baby and head out! if you're ever near the naked eye theater, look me up. hey, [Roll Eyes] , wait up!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Yipee] Oh I'm glad you caught me before I had gotten too far away because I didn't realize that we were supposed to make official goodbyes even if we've already left but it's nice to tie things up neatly although we're not sure what's going to happen with [Embarrassed] and the famous collie which I know a lot of people think I would have more than a common interest about but I assure you I'm only concerned as a friend...

<and so on...>
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
<finally shoved aside by [Ultra confused] >

Hey, it's called "taking a breath"--try it out, for ****'s sake, I have to get to Happy Hour!

Catch you later if you can party with the big boys. Otherwise, EAT MY DUST!!
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Embarrassed] how disgraceful! happy hour is illegal in civilized places. and won't somebody think of the Collies! big boys, indeed.

now that i'm a member of my local chapter of SABWROFC (pronounced aaaROOOF!), Smilies Against Bus-drivers Who Run Over Famous Collies, i'll certainly not be attending!

if, however, any of you care to, as they say in the trade, 'drop a dime', i'll be more than happy to pursue any allegations in the name of mandated safety for all...

[Devil] (grabbing the microphone) thank you, [Embarrassed] , i'm sure.

[Embarrassed] oh, yes, of course, thank you all so much.

[UBB Code edited]

[ 17 August 2002, 00:48: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
[Disappointed] Good, I can go.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
[Devil] well, that takes care of all that jibber jabber!

[Angel] yes, it will be nice to have the place to ourselves again.

(half an hour or so later after waiting for introduction that doesn't happen, the winner walks on stage and surveys a silent, empty room.)

.............. [Paranoid] ..............
.
.
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(walks off stage.)
 


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