Thread: Hell: 'Support' threads Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Are support threads really for the giving and receiving of support or just the opportunity for small groups of people to form cliques?
There are a few at the moment where every Tom, Dick & Harry jumps in with an 'I've been there', 'I've done that' when, in fact, they have not the experience to offer any valuable support.
Mutual back slapping is not support, it is a way of saying 'I'm better than you' and showing off.

[ 29. April 2005, 22:08: Message edited by: Sarkycow ]
 

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Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :
 
I know exactly what you mean. *

* TRANSLATION: I am better than you, and I'm showing off.
 

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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
They all ignoring you again Angel?

P
 

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Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :
 
You're so right, Angel. Like I was once on this support thread and everyone was so 'oh yeah, like I've really been through it,' and 'hey, you know, I so know what you mean'. And I thought 'hang on! this is, like, so not true. How can you know anything about how it really was?!'

And, you know, it was just so false! And I really, really think, Angel, you should get a little group together and have a thread all of your own where people can be really sincere, like, and not at all congratulatory or superior - just full of really, really valuable and relevant experience that proves they have a right to post.

You should do that. No, you should, really. Please allow me to offer you my support....
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Thank you Anselmina!
 

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Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Thank you Anselmina!

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I was being tongue in cheek, you know? So I'm not sure this is a good thing.

Nevertheless, I'll take my notworthies wherever I can get' em !
 

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Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
Well, if you are feeling left out 'cause you are not pregnant, depressed, have "special" children, have a chronic disease, haven't just broken up, haven't fertility problems, or aren't taking care of elderly relatives, get a life- as in one in "interesting times". That's how all those lucky posters got to belong.
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
On the contrary, I am not feeling left out at all. I am just sick of seeing so many threads dedicated to, so called, support when they are in fact only a stage for showing off your achievements.

I have sympathy for people going through a hard time, whatever the reason, but, to have these clubs formed out of people wanting to display their various aspirations, trying to prove they are intellectually superior to the majority of posters is unacceptable. Go jump!
 

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Posted by Craigmaddie (# 8367) on :
 
I'm a fairly regular contributor to at least one of the support threads in All Saints and haven't noticed much "mutual back-slapping" there. What I have noticed is people sharing their feelings and experiences with other people who are in the same or similar situations, thereby gaining often very useful advice and, perhaps more importantly, a sense that they are not alone in their problems. I see that as a very positive thing.
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Perhaps you are one of the IN crowd then - good luck to you!
 

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Posted by Caz... (# 3026) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
On the contrary, I am not feeling left out at all. I am just sick of seeing so many threads dedicated to, so called, support when they are in fact only a stage for showing off your achievements.

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Care to name some? The only one I can think of is the thesis support one; unless you see going through the breakdown of a marriage, suffering from depression or suffering miscarriages and enduring intrusive medical intervention as achievements.

You're talking bullshit.

[ 14. March 2005, 20:37: Message edited by: Caz... ]
 

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Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on :
 
I agree. I also occasionally contribute to "support" threads, or at least read them. I don't think anyone is trying to feel superior in these cases. What I do see are people sharing experiences and trying to be of help.

And we always have the option not to read and/or contribute to a thread that doesn't interest us or for which we do not have anything useful to contribute.

And I get ignored a lot, too, and it's no big deal at all. There are a lot more important things to get excited about.

Pax Romana
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
OK then, take the thesis support thread, if you must Caz....

Is everyone treated similarly and given support? - I don't think so!

Do all people posting on it receive the same warm welcome? - I don't think so!

Is it a private club that only the chosen few / 'in-crowd' may join? - Yes I think so!

edited to add Caz.. name




[ 14. March 2005, 20:41: Message edited by: Angel* ]
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
You don't have to read them Angel*.

Would you like a "Help I'm drawn to threads I have nothing to do with" thread? I'm sure someone could start one for you; or they would if they weren't afraid of you biting their head off.

--
 

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Posted by Craigmaddie (# 8367) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Perhaps you are one of the IN crowd then - good luck to you!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
OK then, take the thesis support thread, if you must Caz....

Is everyone treated similarly and given support? - I don't think so!

Do all people posting on it receive the same warm welcome? - I don't think so!

Is it a private club that only the chosen few / 'in-crowd' may join? - Yes I think so!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
OK then, take the thesis support thread, if you must Caz....

Is everyone treated similarly and given support? - I don't think so!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
OK then, take the thesis support thread, if you must Caz....

Is everyone treated similarly and given support? - I don't think so!

Do all people posting on it receive the same warm welcome? - I don't think so!

Is it a private club that only the chosen few / 'in-crowd' may join? - Yes I think so!

edited to add Caz.. name

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Point made then!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Show is over, bring on the popcorn please.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Craigmaddie:
Grow up.

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She's older than you. Trust me on this.
 

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Posted by Vikki Pollard (# 5548) on :
 
Oooh, this is the nearest I've ever been to saying, "Fuck off", in Hell!

Oh...

What an anti-climax.

You are welcome on the Support Thread for those who are going through separation and divorce any time, if that's what would help. Some people who aren't going through that right now even post to encourage those who are. (You know who you are - thanks).

Likewise, if you happen to have an infertile teenage daughter, I'm sure you will receive the same level of support as I have.

If however you have been slightly less than proactive in your posting and feel put-out because nobody's paying attention, then why not do as some have suggested already and start your own thread?

Seriously, the level of compassion and empathy on here is wonderful. Personally I find it helps to keep off the threads which aren't relevant to me, but then I only get 150 hours Internet access a month.

There is no need to feel left out on here. There is even less need to whinge about it. I believe you were possibly trying to close the subject a few posts ago. Unfortunately I think people here are still waiting for specifics as you obviously have something in mind. Come on. you've got this far - get it off your chest. We're all here for you...

 

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Posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep (# 5267) on :
 
I can't believe I wasted all my time reading this sorry excuse for a thread when I should have been working on my thesis.

Oh, wait, no, I've finished my thesis! Neener neener neener!
 

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Posted by Vikki Pollard (# 5548) on :
 
Aw well done Spiffy.

How are you FEELING about that?

Well done!
 

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Posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep (# 5267) on :
 
I'm feeling rather anticlimatic...

it was done in January.


Right now I'm just worrying about how to fix a pair of pants I just tore. Has anyone ever had a similar experience? I just need someone to empathize with me...
 

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Posted by Gremlin (# 129) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
OK then, take the thesis support thread, if you must Caz....

Is everyone treated similarly and given support? - I don't think so!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep:

Right now I'm just worrying about how to fix a pair of pants I just tore. Has anyone ever had a similar experience? I just need someone to empathize with me...

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quote:

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Originally posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep:
Right now I'm just worrying about how to fix a pair of pants I just tore. Has anyone ever had a similar experience? I just need someone to empathize with me...

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Ew..I've done that. My only suggestion is to by a new pair. And stay way from cheap pairs of pants, IMHO.

As far a support threads go, if you don't like them, don't read them.

I don't Well unless there's one about how to deal with paint, glue, and marker on clothes *sigh*
 

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Posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep (# 5267) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
You might want to check out the weight loss thread in All Saints.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
I have sympathy for people going through a hard time

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Apparently not.
 

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Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :
 
Spif, dear, use duct tape on the pants, and stitch up your finger with support thread!
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Marmacita posted:

quote:

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quote:Originally posted by Angel*:
I have sympathy for people going through a hard time

Apparently not.

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quote:

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**** I've just checked the Search engine, and there's no record of you ever posting on the Thesis Support thread. In fact, the only post of yours in All Saints at all is this one (last February!!) in the Wedding dates 2004 thread! So SHUT THE FUCK UP!

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quote:

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Originally posted by St. Seraphim of Sarov: unless there's one about how to deal with paint, glue, and marker on clothes *sigh*

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Yeah - it's this, be careful with paint, glue, indelible marker pens and other stuff - like tomatoes - that mark clothes. 'Cos washing out stuff like that can be quite wearing and you have to dry them too and sometimes the marks don't come out and then your clothes are spoilt. So you take care now *mwah* *mwah*

(P.S. Am I in yet? )

[ 15. March 2005, 07:59: Message edited by: Qlib ]
 

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Posted by Pânts (# 4487) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by nicolemrw:
ok, i am puzzled. checking angels recent posts shows that prior to this thread she last posted on the pets thread i started, back in febuary. which believe me, if she wants to post on again i'd be overjoyed to see reserected, and will be overjoyed to respond to her on.

prior to that however, she doesn't seem to have posted since may 2004. and not on any support type threads at all that i can see.

so, angel, why don't you try actually posting on a support thread and see if people respond to you?

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Maybe she reads and observes. Maybe she doesn't want to post on them cos she mightn't have 'experience' of whatever it is. But she is still allowed to read, observe, and come to informed conclusion isn't she?
 

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Posted by Vikki Pollard (# 5548) on :
 
Absolutely.

In fact there are cliques on here, as in any community. I take it for granted that a certain type of support thread ('Geez Mate I've run out of Suncream Factor 85' might be one) will attract a small clientele who will of necessity form a rather impenetrable group.

I have seen threads where people's comments have been 'ignored' - it's happened to me too. But I see that as more like a coment getting lost in a large group conversation. You don't always get time to do more than skim read. Or you might be like me, read through and forget 3 of the 5 posts you felt like responding to. I always assume it isn't a deliberate act of ignoring. Of course, I may be wrong .

Sometimes if I think that's happened on a thread, I post, picking up the dropped idea to give it another run for its money. That's an option open to everyone on here. Just be prepared for it not to be taken up a second time!
 

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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
I don’t mine being ignored. It’s when some fucker says exactly the same as I did 10 posts later and all his/her bumchums go “Ohhhh you are so wise and funny, when I grow up I want to be like you ….. ( sfx asskissing ).”

Shitheads.

P
 

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Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :
 
But... but... Pyx_e, can't I be just like you when I grow up? Would you hate that so very very much?
 

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Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
If you knew me at all you would know that I am a very soft and sympathetic person, I take to heart peoples troubles and do my very best to help whenever I can - so that post is unacceptable.

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Not really.

Apparently there is a discrepancy between the real life you and your ship persona that you might want to think about addressing if this bothers you.

We can only go by the words you type, which certainly in this instance come across as sour and judgmental.
 

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Posted by m.t_tomb (# 3012) on :
 
In support of the spirit (but not necessarily the content, tone, or style) of Angel's OP; here is what C.S. Lewis has to say about the 'inner ring'.

Angel, perhaps the article will help you understand exactly why you're so cheesed off. And, Angel's detractors, perhaps it will help you to understand why your're so cheesed off with Angel being cheesed about not being in the 'inner ring' of which you also would secretly like to be part.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
I know of one person who has posted helpful and supportive things on the thesis thread but received no acknowledgement whatsoever. As though the person does not even exist - that is what I am referring to. This smacks of an 'In Crowd' to me.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
I know of one person who has posted helpful and supportive things on the thesis thread but received no acknowledgement whatsoever. As though the person does not even exist - that is what I am referring to. This smacks of an 'In Crowd' to me.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
I have sympathy for people going through a hard time, whatever the reason, but, to have these clubs formed out of people wanting to display their various aspirations, trying to prove they are intellectually superior to the majority of posters is unacceptable. Go jump!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mousethief:

When one appears to be left out of the inner ring, it could be because people are whispering behind your back, intent on making you feel like an outsider. Or it could just be because you're a jackass (or jennyass) and people are reacting naturally to the personality you display. I know where my money is.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Matrix:
Or it could be that the inner ring is a myth. Perpetuated by those who wish there was one so they could join.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mousethief:

quote:

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Originally posted by Matrix:
Or it could be that the inner ring is a myth. Perpetuated by those who wish there was one so they could join.

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Perpetuated by denial. Very slinky! Damn, we're clever.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Matrix:
Shhh, Shhh, it's the latest plan to put them off the scent, didn't you get the pm?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
On the contrary, I am not feeling left out at all. I am just sick of seeing so many threads dedicated to, so called, support when they are in fact only a stage for showing off your achievements.

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Come late to this, but what the hell.

I never realised that my suffering depression was an achievement, I had always made the mistake of seeing it as a burden, even a curse. You have opened my eyes to the true glory of my disease. I should obviously stop taking my antidepressants now and instead bask in the radiance of my great and wonderous achievement!

Oh, and if being depressed proves I'm reall clever, does that mean I should put it on my CV and ask to be given a pay rise because of it?

Really, of all the tasteless garbage. Has it occurred to you just how offensive this is to people who have serious problems and need help?

I wrote a thesis once, and failed to get through two vivas, and I'd have been a lot happier if there'd been a support organisation for me: I'd probably not have suffered one of my bouts of depression. But there I am, bragging again.
 

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Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
Like I said, she needs a life. An interesting life.
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
As you should be well aware, if you had read this thread - the support thread I was referring to was the theseis support thread in particular.

Caz.. observed this at a very early stage.

If people make a post on a support thread, whatever the topic, it is good and helpful for at least someone to respond to said individual.

Flausa, I am allowed a personal 'in crowd' with members of my family. I don't have to share my day-to-day life on these boards.

Pants - you are correct, I have been very busy this last year, hence the lack of postings, but I have observed and read SOF threads along the way.

In the end I am entitled to my own opinions on what support threads I consider to be useful and those that are not in my view, also those which purport to offer help/support, then only do so to certain people.

That lack of care for all contributors is what I wished to address here.
 

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Posted by Tom Day (# 3630) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:

If people make a post on a support thread, whatever the topic, it is good and helpful for at least someone to respond to said individual.

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Yes, maybe. But, remember, this is a discussion forum. Not a self-help group, or an AA group or any other sort of help group. If you need support, for any reason, depending on a bunch of people on a website is probably not really the best idea.

And, to pick up on another point, people probably support people they know more. I know that I would be a lot more likely to post a message or send a PM of support to someone I have either met in real life, or who I have chatted to a lot online. There are over 9000 members on this board. To expect each one to care for everyone is a little too much, and would result in 'pat' comments anyway. I would value a true PM or a message from 1 friend on board than a inbox full of pat messages from people I have never met.

Get a grip and realise that The Ship is not a support group.

Tom Day
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Tom, I DO NOT expect support from the Ship.
 

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Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
Bullshit. You're here complaining that you haven't been supported on the support threads!

Tom Day is spot on. You've already said that you haven't been around much lately due to having stuff going on in real life. If you're not around much, people don't feel like they know you, and thus they're less likely to reach out and be supportive.

How much support have you offered to others?
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Ruth I am not complaining about me.... please read the thread before you make judgements.
 

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Posted by Chesterbelloc (# 3128) on :
 
I'll add to that [TD's post above] that I'm so bored and irritated and mystified by the sheer lameness of this thread that I had a trawl through the whole damned thesis thread myself and have not the faintest idea what you could be going on about. I bear grudges, you know.

I had a hunch about whom Angel* might be "concerned" on behalf of there, checked it out and am now utterly stumped. If it's not you yourself, Angel*, who has been slighted by the Nasty Big Boys and Girls, who are you worried about - and who the shitting-crikey appointed you guardian of their well-being?

[Cross-post train-wreck]

[ 15. March 2005, 15:49: Message edited by: Chesterbelloc ]
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I don't get it, people post stuff that people don't immediately respond to all the time, all over the board. Never occured to me that it was some sort of deliberate shunning before. I figured it just happens.

And anyway, just because something doesn't get a response doesn't mean it's not been read. Plenty of times people have come up to me at meets or PM'ed me a few days later on something I thought had fallen flat. You just gotta post what you think is right and hope that it will reach the person who needs to hear it.
 

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Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on :
 
So, Angel, you are taking offense for someone else. I have a large guess as to who that is, as a certain someone on this thread has admitted to knowing you IRL, and said individual has also posted on the thread in question. Looking at that thread, said individual actually has had people respond to her posts. As I say, Angel you should let your daughter make her own calls to Hell. You just make yourself look like an over-protective mother and her a pouty, gutless, whinging baby. How's that for support?
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Dear Flausa
It was my thread - my opinion - my right to post.
You however, should not be so very rude and 'out' people who would prefer to remain nameless.
 

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Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on :
 
Angel, the only person who's "outed" anyone is you. Anyone with half a brain can suss on who's behalf you are being offended. But thanks for confirming my suspicions.
 

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Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I don't get it, people post stuff that people don't immediately respond to all the time, all over the board. Never occured to me that it was some sort of deliberate shunning before. I figured it just happens.

And anyway, just because something doesn't get a response doesn't mean it's not been read. Plenty of times people have come up to me at meets or PM'ed me a few days later on something I thought had fallen flat. You just gotta post what you think is right and hope that it will reach the person who needs to hear it.

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Amen to that!



Pax Romana
(Enthusiastic Member of the "Not-So-In-Group" but still having fun on the Ship)
 

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Posted by Chesterbelloc (# 3128) on :
 
The problem was, Angel*, it was inevitable that the cover would be blown. I have never encountered either of you before and I was able to work out pretty quickly what was going on.

If you don't want it personal, be more careful.
 

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Posted by Rat (# 3373) on :
 
You seem to be missing the whole point of a bulletin board. It's not a telephone conversation, or even a pub conversation. You write what you write, and put it out there for people to read. There is no obligation on readers to respond directly, or even at all.

There are any number of reasons why a person might not get a direct response. Maybe what they posted added nothing new to the conversation. Maybe readers had no pertinent advice to offer. Maybe the post was uncontroversial, so nobody felt the need to disagree (most responses are in disagreement, discussion board, remember.). Maybe the post was so long nobody made it to the end. Maybe everybody was laughing too hard to type. Maybe everybody thought 'Oh my, Rat has encapulated that issue so brilliantly in her wonderful post that there is just nothing to add'.

Maybe, and this is the most likely answer, people responded generally to the thread including your friend's posts without naming your friend directly. Which is how most ship conversations work.

Christ, I post all the time, and it's a rare treat if somebody quotes my post and responds directly - even if they're telling me I'm an idiot.

If you have a specific complaint maybe you (or better your friend) should spell it out. Because so far it looks like you are asking for threads full of 'I agree', 'me too' and . That would cut down ship membership PDQ.

[There has evidently been an outing, which I missed. I knew I wasn't in the In Crowd. For what it's worth I still don't know who Angel* was talking about].

[ 15. March 2005, 16:19: Message edited by: Rat ]
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
Maybe a helpful little host, when trotting by, would close this thread - but please dear host, remember to transfer all the posts made by members of the 'In crowd' to the other Hell 'In crowd' support thread - it would be such a pity if their posts should be doomed to die a dreadful death and be left so that no one could reply to them.

You know who they are......

 

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Posted by Chesterbelloc (# 3128) on :
 
Rat, you're an idiot.
 

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Posted by Matrix (# 3452) on :
 
Why close it mid discussion? Has Angel conceded it was a dumb thread to start, or has everyone else agreed that she's right? i seemed to have missed something.

M
 

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Posted by Rat (# 3373) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Chesterbelloc:
Rat, you're an idiot.

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Aww, thank you
 

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Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Maybe a helpful little host <snip>

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quote:

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Originally posted by RooK:
Flausa, "outing" people is bad. Helping stupid people "out" other people is also bad. Don't do it.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Tom, I DO NOT expect support from the Ship.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Ruth I am not complaining about me.... please read the thread before you make judgements.

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quote:

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Originally posted by RuthW:

And as for your plea to have the thread closed, didn't you read the guidelines for Hell before you posted? You know, where it says if you post in Hell you paint a big target on yourself?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
I have asked this to be closed as the rules have been broken by another poster - for no other reason.

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Who died and made you a host?

Angel, sweetlips, you could have chosen to address the lack of support you perceive by posting supportively on the thread(s) in question.

Instead, you chose to throw a pity party, accusing people of "showing off". And you're suprised that people are pissed off?

Peronel.
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
la la la la - I'm not listening!
 

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Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
Dear Ruth
As you will see, I have asked this to be closed as the rules have been broken by another poster - for no other reason.
Many thanks

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You really don't know what makes the hellhosts close threads, do you?
 

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Posted by Angel* (# 4690) on :
 
I'm quite happy for you to carry on without me.

Feel free!


 

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Posted by jlg (# 98) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
la la la la - I'm not listening!

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la la la la - wouldn't make any difference if you were!
 

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Posted by dolphy (# 862) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*: As you should be well aware, if you had read this thread - the support thread I was referring to was the theseis support thread in particular.

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As the shipmate who was asked to start the SECOND Thesis support thread...
The thread was originally started by Innanna (sp?), as far as I am aware that first thread was started for people who were working towards PhD's, MA's etc. It was a thread where people could ask questions about, for example, Bibliography software, and also to ask questions to those who were more advanced along the 'research' line.

When that thread made the ten pages or more and was due to be closed, a few shipmates, including myself, asked if it was possible to start another PhD thread.
The answer was "yes". Hence the thread No 2 being opened, with hostly permission, by me.

It is meant to be a thread for asking questions about software etc, and also to report on our personal progresses.

It is certainly NOT about an in-crowd. Anyone is welcome to post on the thread.

People do not post on the thread everyday... perhaps this is because we are actually working But when we choose to post, more often than not we receive feedback from others.

It is not an exclusive thread.

Yes, it is a thread where we feel free to report on our good progresses as well as our bad times... is that so wrong?

IMHO, we are not writing 'blogs' on the thread. We are just reporting on, as I have said, your highs, lows and progresses.

If that is so wrong, let a Host close the thread.
 

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Posted by The Lady of the Lake (# 4347) on :
 

quote:

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Are support threads really for the giving and receiving of support or just the opportunity for small groups of people to form cliques?
There are a few at the moment where every Tom, Dick & Harry jumps in with an 'I've been there', 'I've done that' when, in fact, they have not the experience to offer any valuable support.
Mutual back slapping is not support, it is a way of saying 'I'm better than you' and showing off.

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Well I started one of the support threads (on spiritual direction) and I'm just wondering why complain about support threads ? They're not there because we feel wonderful about ourselves -they're there because we feel clueless and because sometimes we're wary of the way professionals deal with our issues. I can't see any mutual backslapping or showing off on the spiritual direction thread. At least, not yet...
 

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Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Angel*:
On the contrary, I am not feeling left out at all. I am just sick of seeing so many threads dedicated to, so called, support when they are in fact only a stage for showing off your achievements.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel*:
As you should be well aware, if you had read this thread - the support thread I was referring to was the theseis support thread in particular.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel*:
I'm quite happy for you to carry on without me.

Feel free!

---

quote:

---

New postgraduates enter the system determined to make and outstanding contribution to their subject. By the time that they enter the final stages of thesis-writing for the degrees they are determined to 'get it and forget it!' During the intervening years their enthusiasm has been dampened by the demands of haveing to concentrate on a specific topic and conduct routine and repetive tasks in an atmosphere where nobody seems either to understand or to care about their work.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
My job means that they often turn to me in desperation. That is where my wisdom comes from in that thread.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rat:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
My job means that they often turn to me in desperation. That is where my wisdom comes from in that thread.

---

Ah-ha. So it's you who's responsible for responding to each and every post on that thread. And hosts think they have it hard, at least all they have to do is read.

I hope you are feeling suitably guilty for ignoring poor whoever-it-was's desperate pleas for attention, and starting this whole thing. Naughty Jengie.

---

No I am afraid the ship would have to pay me a good rate to do that (I think it works out at over £100 per hour but I have not done the calculation recently), just as my employer does and I still ignore a good few of the pleas that come from undergraduates as I have no responsibility to deal with those so ever, just like on the ship.

Mind you the ship only has a handful compared with the thousands knocking around at work.

[ 15. March 2005, 17:36: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]
 

---

Posted by m.t_tomb (# 3012) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I don't get it, people post stuff that people don't immediately respond to all the time, all over the board. Never occured to me that it was some sort of deliberate shunning before.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Flausa:
RooK, I apologize for helping a stupid person "out" another person. I won't do it again.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Lady of the Lake:
...I can't see any mutual backslapping or showing off on the spiritual direction thread. At least, not yet...

---

My icon of St Mary of Egypt is now laughing and this morning she told me to prepare my camel for a lengthy journey. I'll be along to your thread momentarily. cackle, cackle
 

---

Posted by TrudyTrudy (I say unto you) (# 5647) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I stay the fuck out of Ecclesiantics.I am sure I am not missed.

---

Oh, I don't know...I went to Ecclesiantics once and wandered around vaguely for hours going, "What's wrong? It's not like the other boards...something's missing here..."

Now I know.
 

---

Posted by Og: Thread Killer (# 3200) on :
 
Ah, but then Kelly commenting on this would be...well, just like every other board on SOF.
 

---

Posted by Falling Star (# 5006) on :
 
Angel* I have to say I agree with you. Some people are so full of shite on this Board that if they sneezed it would leak out. It is so cliquey that some people even quote each other in their sigs for flips sake!
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
One person's in-crowd is another person's out-crowd. This was brought home to me very clearly when I had gone through a time of great distress and was on the point of leaving a church; someone said, 'but I thought you were one of the in-crowd'. Yeah, right!

That said, some people on the ship have met each other in real life and become great friends. It would be surprising if that did not show in their posts, or their sigs. Are we to treat good friends the same as total strangers, just to keep everyone happy?

Angel and Falling Star you sound like good friends already, to some of us you may appear like an in-crowd. See how it happens? Naturally over time, by having an affinity with another person, not deliberately calculating. Honest.
 

---

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
Yeah! You people are full of shite/shit (depending on country of origin). Stuck up meanies. Don't you know I'm A Person Too? Just because I'm paranoid and generally unpleasant doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Did you ever think of that? Did you?

No. You all just go around sucking up to each other, patting each other on the back and quoting each other in your signatures. You think you're cool but you're not. And this is just a stupid little discussion board. You're all losers. Just like me.

I'd leave and never come back, but I don't have anyplace else to go.
 

---

Posted by ferijen (# 4719) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I don't get it, people post stuff that people don't immediately respond to all the time, all over the board. Never occured to me that it was some sort of deliberate shunning before.

---

I wish I as emotionally secure as you Kelly. I always take it personally if people don't respond to my posts. The problem with this is that I spend most of my time either offended or worried that I'm not interesting enough. Angel, have you considered the fact that, like me, you are both boring and easily offended?

p.s. answer my previous posting you gits orteddy sleeps on the floor tonight...

---

Did someone say something?
 

---

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Og: Thread Killer:
Ah, but then Kelly commenting on this would be...well, just like every other board on SOF.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by ferijen:
Did someone say something?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel*:
Dear Ruth
As you will see, I have asked this to be closed as the rules have been broken by another poster - for no other reason.
Many thanks

---

That's not "outing". Posting someone's real life details such as their name is "outing". (And if I did that deliberately I'd be an Admin chew toy )

Tubbs

[ 15. March 2005, 21:17: Message edited by: Tubbs ]
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel*:
Marmacita posted:

quote:

---

quote:Originally posted by Angel*:
I have sympathy for people going through a hard time

Apparently not.

---

If you knew me at all you would know that I am a very soft and sympathetic person, I take to heart peoples troubles and do my very best to help whenever I can - so that post is unacceptable. <snip>

---

Unacceptable? This is Hell, Angel. Precious little is unacceptable on this board where you have chosen to draw a big target on your back. Perhaps in real life you are a very soft and sympathetic person. I don't know. All I have to judge you on is what you post ("Accountability for what you post"-- read the Guidelines.) And what you have posted is a lot of whining. Period.

By the way, my name is spelled Mamacita. Misspelling my name is unacceptable.
 

---

Posted by m.t_tomb (# 3012) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rat:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ferijen:
Did someone say something?

---

I didn't hear a thing.

---

Bastards, I know that you're freezing me out. I just know it... You're scared of me aren't you. Yes, that's it; you're scared of my razor sharp discernment, my critical eye, and my deep, deep insight. Cowards.
 

---

Posted by Sienna (# 5574) on :
 
I'd just like to say that when I posted my problems with Southern California cuisine on the "Neglected California" thread in All Saints, RuthW immediately came to my aid.

So, I'm either part of the in-crowd or she's trying to hasten my demise from cardiovascular disease...
 

---

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mamacita:
This is Hell, Angel. Precious little is unacceptable on this board where you have chosen to draw a big target on your back.

---

And don't you just love it when someone who's been around the Ship long enough to know better opts for the No-Extra-Fee Giant-Economy-Size target?
 

---

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel*:
la la la la - I'm not listening!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel*:
la la la la - I'm not listening!

---

And this is different from before how?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sienna:
I'd just like to say that when I posted my problems with Southern California cuisine on the "Neglected California" thread in All Saints, RuthW immediately came to my aid.

So, I'm either part of the in-crowd or she's trying to hasten my demise from cardiovascular disease...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gort:
I would be sorely put out if I were to expose my weeping carbuncles on a support thread and then was totally ignored.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:
Perhaps support threads aren't for you, then.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gort:
I would be sorely put out if I were to expose my weeping carbuncles on a support thread and then was totally ignored.

---

Perhaps support threads aren't for you, then.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:
And clearly poor m.t.tomb feels left out too, quoting CS Lewis at us to help us mend our evil ways. Did the sadsack internationale just let out, and you missed your bus home?

When one appears to be left out of the inner ring, it could be because people are whispering behind your back, intent on making you feel like an outsider...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:
[aside]

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

[/aside]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:
[aside]

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

[/aside]

---

Not NOW, you're not.

Thanks.

(The 'Dukes'???)
 

---

Posted by Caz... (# 3026) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:
[aside]

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

[/aside]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Caz...:
I keep thinking of cock rings...
just plumbed new depths

---

Pass that Champagne over here, my dirty mind needs some support
 

---

Posted by Caz... (# 3026) on :
 
You're about 10 minutes too late Dolphy, champagne doesn't last long around here... I suggest our only option is to go out and buy some more
 

---

Posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep (# 5267) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Caz...:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

---

I'm not sure, but I keep thinking of cock rings...[/i]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Falling Star:
Angel* I have to say I agree with you. Some people are so full of shite on this Board that if they sneezed it would leak out. It is so cliquey that some people even quote each other in their sigs for flips sake!

---

I guess that makes me part of a 'clique' - pity I didn't realise it, as no-one responds to my posts either

But come on, this is a bulletin board not 'real life' (whatever that is). Posts are skipped, or the conversation moves on, or people reading may nod but not comment.

Feel free to ignore this
 

---

Posted by Jengie Jon (# 273) on :
 
No I shan't just to prove you wrong this once! Actually post are more read than replied to. If your post does not require a reply why should someone post it? To make you feel good? We do that for newbies.

Jengie
 

---

Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
No I shan't just to prove you wrong this once! Actually post are more read than replied to. If your post does not require a reply why should someone post it? To make you feel good? We do that for newbies.

Jengie

---

Sorry, I'll use more smilies next time like this?

(sorry, must improve my sarcasm levels)
 

---

Posted by Matrix (# 3452) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:

(The 'Dukes'???)

---

Abbreviated version of a piece of rhyming slang - "Duke of argyles"

M
 

---

Posted by dolphy (# 862) on :
 
And there was me thinking it was The Dukes of Hazzard.
 

---

Posted by m.t_tomb (# 3012) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Caz...:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:
[aside]

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

[/aside]

---

I'm not sure, but I keep thinking of cock rings...

Caz sits at desk, champagne in hand, wondeirng if she's just plumbed new depths on this, after all, Christian website...

---

Poor old C.S. must be spinning! Shame on you Caz.
 

---

Posted by Laura (# 10) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matrix:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:

(The 'Dukes'???)

---

Abbreviated version of a piece of rhyming slang - "Duke of argyles"

M

---

i.e., "piles", to those not familiar with that common old-fashioned term for hemmorhoids.
 

---

Posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep (# 5267) on :
 
Oh. My. God. I've determined I'm not one of the in-crowd, and I'm turribly hurt and dismayed and stuff, and I'm going to tell you all about how I determined this right now in gruesome detail.

You see, I just posted something in the TICTH thread, and when I hit 'Add Reply', the screen was SOOOO rude to me! Ohmygad! It was sarcastic and it was all, "Wait here to see your deep thought in print." It made me feel like less of a person. I think I need a support thread.

[ETA: It did it again!]

[ 16. March 2005, 23:14: Message edited by: Spiffy da Wonder Sheep ]
 

---

Posted by Craigmaddie (# 8367) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep:
It was sarcastic and it was all, "Wait here to see your deep thought in print."

---

Blast! I thought that it was just me who got that message and everybody else got something like, "Wait here to see your cretinous thought in print."...

And there was me thinking I was so special after Angel* told me that I was one of the In-Crowd.

[ 17. March 2005, 08:19: Message edited by: Craigmaddie ]
 

---

Posted by Gambit (# 766) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matrix:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:
[aside]

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

[/aside]

---

Maybe you need to start a whole new support thread, for those with the dukes, or who can't stop thinking of them.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Falling Star:
It is so cliquey that some people even quote each other in their sigs for flips sake!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lurker McLurker™:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Falling Star:
It is so cliquey that some people even quote each other in their sigs for flips sake!

---

Maybe you're just jealous because no-one has quoted you in their sig.

---

 

---

Posted by Falling Star (# 5006) on :
 
Thank you. I feel so.........validated
 

---

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Falling Star:
Thank you. I feel so.........validated

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Caz...:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peronel:
[aside]

Um, am I the only one who can't read 'inner ring' without thinking 'haemorrhoids'?

[/aside]

---

I'm not sure, but I keep thinking of cock rings...

Caz sits at desk, champagne in hand, wondeirng if she's just plumbed new depths on this, after all, Christian website...

---

I think about rings quite often. (I'm partial to garnets and opals.)

And I think about cocks every time I go to Wal-Mart. (Oh, quit it, there's a feather-covered lifelike one at Wal-Mart that I plan to get for my preacher's wife. She collects them.)

But I never think about cock rings.
 

---

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
Uh huh.

[ 18. March 2005, 01:28: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]
 

---

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lurker McLurker™:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Falling Star:
It is so cliquey that some people even quote each other in their sigs for flips sake!

---

Maybe you're just jealous because no-one has quoted you in their sig.

---

Hey! Maybe I am in the in-crowd. I just remembered a host used a quote of mine in his sig when I was a lowly apprentice.

Oh, course, no one's done it since.

I may have to rethink this.
 

---

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Hey! Maybe I am in the in-crowd.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Janine:[...]
But I never think about cock rings.

---

I'm not thinking about them...I'm not thinking about them...
I'm writing about them... but I'm not thinking about them.
 

---

Posted by Dee-nz (# 5681) on :
 

quote:

---

Maybe you're just jealous because no-one has quoted you in their sig.

---

Oh. oh, oh....Norman the Organ quoted me in his sig once...does that mean I am in the in crowd...oh no, he has not posted for ever!! does that mean I am now out, oh, wait a minute I have quoted Gort in my sig...does that mean I am in again???AAGgghhh..I am soo confused..

Maybe I should start up a people who are confused about wether they are in or out thread...oh no...what if no one responds to this post...maybe that means I am so far out I am in posters Siberia freezing my ass of...
 

---

Posted by Gort (# 6855) on :
 
Well, I certainly feel like I'm IN now Dee-nz!

♫ I'm in with the in crowd..I post where the in crowd posts! ♪ ♫
 

---

Posted by Dee-nz (# 5681) on :
 
well,

the good news is that Angel has motivated me to go and read some support threads and offer some...support.

And since Gort replied now I feel like I am definately in in the "in crowd"...well at least I am not totally out anyway.
 

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