Thread: Hell: Liar, Liar, pants on fire. Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on
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Dear, The Lord my God,
Please could you bring to fruition your prophecy handed down from of old? Please could you make liars pants go on fire? Lord you gave us your Son to be the way, the life and the Truth but every other friking loser has decided to lie to me, they lie about global warming, they lie about wars and rumours of wars, they lie about speed cameras and taxes, they lie about poverty and riches, they lie about sex and about love, they lie and lie and lie.
I spend my whole life being lied at. All I am asking is that if someone lies their pants catch on fire (for our American friends that would be underpants). Your in eager anticipation of tonight’s news (visualising some lying bastard spouting his usual shite when WHOOSH up go his pants). Or even this afternoons chapter meeting (“When I was speaking to the Bishop yesterday…” WHOOSH) . Lord you are a good God and you hear all our prayers please set fire to the genitals of all those people who lie for the “cause.” Amen.
[ 07. June 2005, 14:52: Message edited by: Sarkycow ]
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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He who is without sin cast the first match.
Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on
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Perhaps Pyx_e has taken the precautinon of not wearing underpants.
Enquiring minds don't want to know.
Posted by Emma. (# 3571) on
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its tuesday pyxe... thought the rants started on mondays?
Posted by nobody calls me mezzo (# 4836) on
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This close to a general election, there's going to be a roaring inferno at the House of Commons.
ETA: it's Wednesday. But you had me going there for a minute.
[ 13. April 2005, 08:54: Message edited by: nobody calls me mezzo ]
Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:
its tuesday pyxe... thought the rants started on mondays?
Methinks you are confused. It's actually Wednesday.
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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Ha, Ha! Emma told a lie......
WHOOOOOOOOOSH! ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Posted by Padingtun Bear. (# 3935) on
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Oh, give the teapot a break, she's been through a lot lately... and this week seems to be taking forever! I thought it was Thursday.
D'you think now we'll find out which politicians are going commando?
[Do we really want to?]
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Ha, Ha! Emma told a lie......
WHOOOOOOOOOSH!
That wasn't a lie. It was a mistake.
Anyone who can't tell the difference is, er, lying?
Posted by Pânts (# 4487) on
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I want to know which particular lie he's on about!
Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on
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On the whole I agree with Pyx_e, though. God seems disappointingly lax in the smiting department. No matter how much we pay in tithes etc, the waiting list to get someone smited just seems to get longer, and that’s particularly galling when the smite-worthy keep coming round asking you to vote for them.
Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on
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Hair smells when it burns. Yuk. A pox on you Pyx_e if your wish comes true.
Posted by Emma. (# 3571) on
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its wednesday?! ah ok - yay that means desperate housewives is on. Hmmmm and there was me thinking it was tuesday. ho hum!
(When i first saw the title i thought it was a clever calling pants to hell name!)
Posted by Pânts (# 4487) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:
(When i first saw the title i thought it was a clever calling pants to hell name!)
But why would Pyx_e want to call me to hell? We've never had a bad word to say about each other. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
On the whole I agree with Pyx_e, though. God seems disappointingly lax in the smiting department.
Send them to the Church of Fools Smiting Department™. They'll know what to do.....
Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
Hair smells when it burns. Yuk. A pox on you Pyx_e if your wish comes true.
The smell of burning hair would be the least of one's worries, I would have thought ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
!
(Unless you mean it's other people's knickers going up like incendiary devices, and not one's own!)
Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on
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That light in the East is not the dawn.
It is the White House.
It is east from where I am anyway.
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
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So that's why I saw puffs of smoke on my screen while I was looking at this picture a moment ago.
Posted by Cheesy* (# 3330) on
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Ah. Now I know what is going on in Rome.
When we see the puff of smoke, that won't be the sign of a newly elected pope, but someone lying.
Presumably to the question 'Are you glad you've been elected pope' they'll have replied 'Yes.'
C
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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The media is full of politicians making last minute "promises" just before the election. Stand well clear, it will be an almighty inferno when that lot goes up.......
But....... who will there be left to run the country?
Pyx_e, this is all your fault. For all our sakes' you'll simply have to do it. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on
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I agree and my first decree is :
"More Masses."
P
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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That can be arranged. Masses and Masses of Masses. Coming to a constituency near you.
Vote Pyx_e (in Heaven) ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Posted by daisymay (# 1480) on
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So Kilroy wil have to make sure his minders carry fire extinguishers and AirWick anti-stink?
Truth or Lies?
Would he be arrested for streaking?
Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Dear, The Lord my God,
Please could you bring to fruition your prophecy handed down from of old? Please could you make liars pants go on fire?
Where does it say that in the Bible?
I work for a large corporation. I am now expecting our entire building to go POOF at any second, starting with the Executive Floor.
Pax Romana
Posted by Mad Geo (# 2939) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
On the whole I agree with Pyx_e, though. God seems disappointingly lax in the smiting department. No matter how much we pay in tithes etc, the waiting list to get someone smited just seems to get longer, and that’s particularly galling when the smite-worthy keep coming round asking you to vote for them.
Oh, I don't know, a quarter million or so wacked by a tsunami doesn't seem like a slow God day to me....
Oh wait, that's a serious answer.
If everybody that lied got their pants torched we'll all go commando. Not that I am against that.
Posted by Og: Thread Killer (# 3200) on
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Why would underwear catch fire before the pants do?
Posted by Viola (# 20) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Og: Thread Killer:
Why would underwear catch fire before the pants do?
In our country the pants are the underwear.
K.
Posted by Og: Thread Killer (# 3200) on
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Lost in Translation
So then, why would the pants catch fire before the...uh....slacks...do?
Friction? VD? Too much thinking going on?
Posted by Pânts (# 4487) on
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Farting.
Posted by Emma. (# 3571) on
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og - trousers... ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posted by Og: Thread Killer (# 3200) on
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Do people still use that word?
I think I've figured it out now:
USA
Underpants - pants
UK
pants - trousers
Canada
underwear - snowmobile suit
Posted by Papio. (# 4201) on
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Of course British people use the word "trousers". We can't call them pants, because other British people will think we mean underwear. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Posted by Ronist (# 5343) on
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quote:
originally by Pax Romana
Where does it say that in the Bible?
They didn't actually record that prophecy in the bible. They missed a few of them.
OG.
You wear your snowmobile suit under your clothes?! I've never seen that. On the other hand
I've never been to Toronto. Do you have a lighter snowmobile suit for summer?
Posted by Og: Thread Killer (# 3200) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Ronist:
.....
You wear your snowmobile suit under your clothes?! I've never seen that. On the other hand
I've never been to Toronto. Do you have a lighter snowmobile suit for summer?
We wear long underwear, and then our snowmobile suits. In the summer we just wear the long underwear, but the wife, she not happy, so I make sure i wash it once a month. Never seen it catch on fire though.
Posted by Ronist (# 5343) on
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Which is important.
These are very similar to the practices in the Yukon. I didn't realize Toronto followed similar customs.
[ 14. April 2005, 20:18: Message edited by: Ronist ]
Posted by kentishmaid (# 4767) on
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And to confuse matters still further, in the North West of England, pants DO mean trousers.
Perhaps the fire could be metaphorical and it could merely make the victim feel a sudden urge to attend their local GUM clinic?
Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Padingtun Bear.:
...D'you think now we'll find out which politicians are going commando?
...
That would be all the ones that talk.
Posted by luvanddaisies (# 5761) on
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[visual aid] [/visual aid]
Posted by HopPik (# 8510) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Farting.
Farting near a naked flame... maybe.
Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on
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quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Farting.
Farting near a naked flame... maybe.
Only if wearing a kilt.
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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I notice that it is a whole week since Pyx_e has contributed to this thread. Has he spontaneously combusted, perchance?
Posted by HopPik (# 8510) on
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Just smouldering quietly in a corner,
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