Thread: Circus: Haiku Chain: the Return Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
When we reached page ten,
my favorite thread dissappeared;
Haiku Chain returns.

<<<>>>
next Haiku Topic:
repetitive Heaven Threads

Comet

[ 12. April 2006, 18:21: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

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Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
Seeing "You might be..."
Is driving me crazy and
Clogging up my screen

Next: procrastination
 

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Posted by Ian Climacus (# 944) on :
 
I should be in bed
But Winter Olympics call
Best get more caffeine.


next: Luge
 

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Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
You mount a teatray
And speed down an icy hill.
Rather you than me!

Next: Posting in Hell
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
F*cking Godless Pr*cks.
I can't take it anymore!
Abuse; among friends.

Scratched DVD of your favorite movie
 

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Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
I like Dogma but
I'd love to put a scratch through
that crap-monster scene

ice skating
 

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Posted by Ian Climacus (# 944) on :
 
Ice-skating is fun.
Except when you trip and fall.
My knee is quite sore.


airports
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Bright lights and echoes
the smell of coffee and books;
yet still, lurking stress.

having to take giant vitamin pills
 

---

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
The pills for King Kong
Are for him and him alone.
Why should I steal them?

Dick Cheney
 

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Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
US politics
Not my forte. Rifles not
Mr Cheney's -DUCK!


The smell of Spring
 

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Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Cut grass on the lawn
flowers, sunshine, tree blossom
fresh lamb shank cooking

water
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
Hydrogen times two
together with oxygen
drip drip drip drip drip
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
sorry, next topic is
forgetfulness
 

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Posted by TrudyTrudy (I say unto you) (# 5647) on :
 
My keys, my keys, my--
dammit they were here just a
minute ago. Keys!

blizzards
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
It's snowing sideways,
children, dressed like explorers,
lean into the wind.

watching the ski races

Comet
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
slick as white light'ning
watch out for that mogul -- ouch!!
wipes out the snow fence

failure
 

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Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
I tried and I failed.
I don't think I'll try again -
Better things to do.

Something the cat dragged in
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
whatever it was
once upon a time, it has
now gone to heaven

Deadlines
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
icy wind blows inside
sleek furry shadow slides through
shut the kitty door!

The Rent
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Too much time thinking
Did not mean to cross-post
Sorry about that
 

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Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
no prob, mirrizin.
a big welcome to the ship!
hope you like it here.

----

another month comes:
an off'ring to the landlord;
check is in the mail.

freezing-cold weather
 

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Posted by Joyfulsoul (# 4652) on :
 
brr, my hands are cold,
nose frozen, and I can't
even feel my toes.

Star Wars
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
I am your father;
Obi Wan Kenobe says:
the Force be with you.

cleaning under the couch
 

---

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :
 
Come, little bunnies
Made of dust and old corn chips --
Hoover is calling.

Grocery shopping
 

---

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
Market with husband.
He likes to piddle and play.
Don't let your meat loaf.

library
 

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Posted by jinglebellrocker (# 8493) on :
 
Books, books, books, books, books
All the books you could dream of
But the one you want

Merlin
 

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Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
Merlin the wizard
Mythical or factual
He knew King Arthur.

Fruit salad
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
mango! apple, grape;
toss in some walnuts, orange zest.
yogurt? or syrup?

Midnight highway drives
 

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Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Darkness on the road
Old familiar ghosts evoked
Look - Jim Morrison!

Free newspaper DVDs
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Shiny flat round thing
Selling crappy internet
The racket starts here

Mac & Cheese

[ 19. February 2006, 19:50: Message edited by: mirrizin ]
 

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Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
Pasta with some goo
that might once have been cheese, but
I don't like it much.

Cows
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Mobile milk cartons
Would go "baa" if they had learnt
A foreign language

Monday mornings
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Alarm clock = evil.
Radio = full of bad news.
Gimme Coffee Now.

Cats on Catnip
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
Spaced out and floppy;
or all manic and crazy.
Just not like normal.

Potato wedges
 

---

Posted by Dursley Pedersen (# 5685) on :
 
potato wedges
are made out of potato
but are the wrong shape.

David Cameron
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Conservative male
Seeke plausible policies.
No time-wasters please.

On the same theme: Tony Blair
 

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Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Look, (pause for effect)
I really understand, but
only my belief counts

doing the crossword
 

---

Posted by Hennah (# 9541) on :
 
Subtitled Hen on a Sunday afternoon

Seven across: "A
Word for a group of fletchers"
Time for The Archers

Ice
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Rain failling on snow.
Drive down highway sideways - whee!
Forward is for wimps.

Homemade guacamole

(Mirizzin - your sig line keeps making me want to sing, "al-lay-lou, allelujah..." )
 

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Posted by Joyfulsoul (# 4652) on :
 
garlic, salt, pepper
mix 'n crush, some water and
avocado, voila

Circus
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
word games that I love!
Oh -- you mean the one that has
elephants? My bad.


gold
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Non reactive ore,
Soft, light reflective metal
Gives some folks fever.


A boiled egg
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
Breakfast which comes with
a handy outer casing.
I think it's nasty.

Sandwiches
 

---

Posted by Dursley Pedersen (# 5685) on :
 
No need to take food
to the seaside, because of
the sand which is there.

George W. Bush
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
peanut butter brain
in charge of superpower
aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh [continues for five syllables]


I predict a riot
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Tension fills the air
Complaints echo through the crowd
Better lock your doors

The Senate
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Abramoff payroll;
with negotiable ethics-
Pro Tem is insane.



feeding the birds
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
The pages of "Heat"
Show the unwillingness of
Some birds to be fed


Meerkat love triangle
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
From my burrow I
Can just glimpse her fluffy ears...
-Head down! (Hubby's home.)


Miss Piggy
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
Careful ! She might just
S.Y.F.F.I.T.F
(ask if you're not sure)

Highlighter Pens
 

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Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
Flourescent colours
make the dullest paperwork
look interesting!

DIY
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
The hammer slips. Bang.
The shelving falls to the ground
So beautifully.


Low fat foods that are bad for you
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
'This week, I 'ave been
mostly eating candyfloss
(low fat diet, see?)'


Stale fag smoke.
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
You smoke, we both stink.
But because of your habit,
I smell it, you don't.

Boring meetings
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
QUARTERLY TARGETS!
POLICY REVIEW!... All on
Power-bloody-Point .


dehydration
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
You smoke, we both stink.
But because of your habit,
I smell it, you don't.

---

 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Dehydration: not
always bad - I hate grapes but
Raisins are yummy

4-4-2 or 4-3-3?
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Vicars choosing hymns?
John Cage choosing song titles?
Nah, dullard footie!

Bird flu hits Disney
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Even scarier
Than Mickey's foul antics is
Chicken Little's sneeze


Lieutenant Stichie
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Ragga star makes move...
To gospel??? Stitchie fi dead!
Boom bye-bye, bloodclaat!

Cliff Richard, lashed on Diamond White
 

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Posted by Hennah (# 9541) on :
 
"mistletoe and wine!
Shazzer nother bolla fizz...
Maybe mix the two!"

At the cheese counter
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Would sir care to try
This lovely sock-ripened Brie?
No f***ing way*, mate

(*with acknowledgements to Ross Noble)

novelty pencil sharpeners
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
you put your pencil
up Trigger's backside; spin Roy.
Horse you rode in on!

Phillippians 4:13
 

---

Posted by jinglebellrocker (# 8493) on :
 
"I can do all things"
But not on my own; I need
Heaven's helping hand

gryphons
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Flying bit of yore.
Lion aft, avian fore.
Seen one? I think not!

Random kindness
 

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Posted by TrudyTrudy (I say unto you) (# 5647) on :
 
Two quarters, dropped in
my expired meter. Thanks,
kind passing stranger.

Olympic curling
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Duller than cricket,
Cross country skiing, fishing,
Darts and kabaddi.

Stuck in a lift with Reverend Ian Paisley
 

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Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
These walls are too close.
Have I earned this painful fate?
I'm going down fast.

Grubby mice
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by kirk:
These walls are too close.
Have I earned this painful fate?
I am going down fast.

Grubby mice

---

[edited: unable to count 5 syllabubs while typing]
 

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Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Don’t bother to wash
Get up, or speak properly
Teenage grubby mice

St Veronica’s Hanky
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
If sainthood means just
Having a hanky to hand
My mum's got a chance


Green Eggs & Hamas
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Hamas' green flags egg
'Em on. That cat in the hat?
Yasser Marrowfat.

Urine therapy
 

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Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Lying on a couch?
Shrink asking about your dreams?
Urine therapy...

NASCAR
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Going round and round
This oval drives me crazy.
Can I please turn right?

Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Lots of silly boys
With their bashed up vehicles.
"Broom Broom!!". Sad, really.


"U too can swim!" with Bono
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Cross-posts are bad news.
I'll try to straighten it out
By answering yours.


Try the Butterfly -
It's symbolic of world peace -
But lose the glasses!


Now: Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Recently relaunched
For C Beebies. Don't like it.
But a good theme tune.


Hop on Pope
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Catholicism?
Pedestrianisation?
All aboard His Grace!

Rendition flights for naughty schoolchildren
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Cross culture post blues,
What is a rendition flight?
Sorry to be dim.

Jumbo shrimp
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Guantanamo-bound,
Jumbo shrimp boards jumbo jet.
He's narwhal-Qaeda!

American worldview
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Damn Russians! No, wait...
Damn Iranians! No, wait...
Damn Frenchies! No, wait...


Ice dancing with Kofi Annan
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
I gave it a shot
but Mr. Kofi Annan
just could not keep up

Line Dancing with the Swiss Bobsledding Team

[edited for spelling]

[ 23. February 2006, 22:55: Message edited by: mirrizin ]
 

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Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Faster, faster Hans,
Mambo, Samba, boogie down.
You've got dandruff Lars.

Cow tipping
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
quiet in the pasture
rustle ker-THUD angry moo
fleeing through the grass

there is something sad
about knocking over cows
for entertainment

Cute Slugs

[I couldn't decide which one was better]
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
her trail glistens,
that "come hither" antenna
waves as she passes.

truck stop "gourmet" coffee
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
They say it's "gourmet"
But you know that the real thing
Doesn't taste of grit.

Badger baiting
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
I'll catch that Great White.
But how? I must find some bait.
Oi, Brock! Over here!


The inter-species desire felt by Rosemary the telephone operator for her dog hero
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Crime-fighting's sexy!
What? Number one super guy's
Neutered? You don't say!

Banana dacquiris
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
"-Operator... Fire?!
... ... ... The Old Mine?!" (Dear boy, but paws
can't press nine-one-one)


When you stick your hand in your coat pocket and discover something disturbingly soft or sticky lurking there .

Blast -spent too long on code and ended up cross-posting.

[ 24. February 2006, 09:53: Message edited by: Birdseye ]
 

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Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
(aiming to unite cross-posts)

What's in that pocket ?
A banana dacquiri ?
Oh - It's not my coat!

having to share office supplies

[ 24. February 2006, 10:20: Message edited by: Papa Smurf ]
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
My secretary
Tippexes her name on stuff.
But I still nick it.


I am the eggman
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Papa Smurf: Love it!

Where's the highlighter?
Did Libby take it with her?
I'll underline it!

Taking flying lessons with Michael Jackson

[ETA: Cross-post. I'll defer to the subject posted first]

[ 24. February 2006, 10:34: Message edited by: The Great Gumby ]
 

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Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
(here we go again)
Jacko says "shamoown"
But it's hard for a walrus
to pilot a plane.

missing the last bus home

[ 24. February 2006, 10:47: Message edited by: Papa Smurf ]
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
London night buses
Means the "last bus home" is an
Alien concept


Now that's what I call music 17
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
Adamski's Killer
UB40's Kingston Town
And many others

the water cooler
 

---

Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
No! Don't pull away!
I hate sadistic drivers -
now I'll have to walk.

only being able to find odd socks

[how did I manage to cross-post with 2 people while syllable counting?? Sorry!]

[ 24. February 2006, 11:32: Message edited by: Keren-Happuch ]
 

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Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
It's empty again
but I only just changed it
someone else's turn

only being able to find odd socks
 

---

Posted by TrudyTrudy (I say unto you) (# 5647) on :
 
Seventeen small socks,
Pink, yellow, blue, green, white
No two alike. Why?

Holiday cruises (because I'd like to be on one right now).
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Stuck on a boat with
Lots of grave-dodgers? I don't
Share Trudy's desire


my favourite chimney
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
(Ooh -I actually have one of these but it'll take two Haikus...)

Twisted red brickwork
balances perilously
above the gargoyles.

Now cold, once your breath
Warmed King Henry and his Anne
In old Hampton Court.


Biscuit crumbs where they shouldn't be.
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Too late, the frottage
Shows my daughter ate biscuits
Near my pants drawer


[btw, very nice one about the chimneys]

HRH Queen Elizabeth II does Dallas
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
Lizzie keeps busy
entertaining the cowboys
"and what do you do?"

Lucozade.
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Lucozade, Red Bull
Gatorade, energy drinks
Nay, good strong coffee

Bungled juggling
 

---

Posted by dolphy (# 862) on :
 
Many coloured balls
I threw up in to the air
They fell on the floor.

Hotel room service
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Room service quandry:
I want steak (hot) and ice-cream
(firm). Which to eat first?


ABBA in space

[ 24. February 2006, 15:36: Message edited by: Master Tubby Bear ]
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Papa Smurf:
[QB] Lizzie keeps busy
entertaining the cowboys
"and what do you do?"

Hats off. You're a very naughty boy.
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Glam up Uranus!
Houston, we have a goblin -
...Wait, it's just Benny.

Jeremy Paxman joins the Chuckle Brothers
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
To Me? To You ? Oh
Get a Grip the pair of you.
Answer the question.

Dinner's nearly ready
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Anticipation
Saliva flowing, waiting.
Oh. Turnip surprise.


How many roads must a man walk down?
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
Bob Dylan lyrics
Great folk songs from the sixties
Those were the days


raccoons in the trash
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Black, White and brown streak;
Bandit smiles from his dinner.
Our trash; his treasure.

model airplane glue
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Clang, clang, scrabble, thump
Yesterday's gourmet food fare
Masks and glowing eyes

Sticky buns
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Tubby takes the first one

Such a nice picture
But look - glue is not sticky!
Shame on you, Airfix.


The Hatchback of Notre Dame
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
bummer cross post.

If the glue oozes
off the table to your chair
you get sticky buns!

[eta: EEK another cross post! go with the hatchback!]

[ 24. February 2006, 21:14: Message edited by: cometchaser ]
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
George Smiley missing
Best look for him, double quick
Take Quasi's moto


Hanky Panky with Jeanette Krankie
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
what a suggestion !

get kicks from your wife
Dressing up like a schoolboy ?
Fan-dabby-Dozey !!!


'The Stig' on BBC Top Gear
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Phantom race driver.
Listened to Whitesnake. Unmasked.
All mystery gone.


Cheese made from hair
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Sounds most bizarre or
A Chick-tract demon product
Can you give a link?

Where have all the fountain pens gone?
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Moderate Muslims
Have not beheaded the Danes -
Just taken their pens.

Rod Stewart's enforced vasectomy
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
Do you think he'll still
sing "Do you think I'm sexy?"
after he's been snipped?

Horoscopes
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Tuesday, July third
"Great things are coming your way"
Translation: Watch Out!

Obscure Inside Jokes
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
what did the kidney
say to the liver? "You scared
the piss out of me!"



doggy chew toys
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Slick with slobber, ewww!
Come hither, to within reach
The chain is too short

Untied shoes
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
I try to be cool
Trainers' laces left undone.
Whoops! Arse over tit.


The expectation that when you get to the top of a hill the view will make the climb worth it but then it doesn't
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Sinai my eye!
There's nothing down there but dust.
I'll smash these tablets!

Earwig beach party
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Parasitical
creatures shitting on the sand
Singing "Earwig-o"


The futility of home brew
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
It may seem cheaper
but takes a lot of effort
and still tastes of pee.

flat-packed furniture
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Virgin Mary said,
"I can't put this crib up, I
Haven't had a screw."

Breakfast epiphanies
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
My Golden Nuggets
Contain a plastic toy. How
Serendipitous.


Ernie leaves Bert for David Furnish
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Elton's last laugh comes
When David coughs up a huge
Big yellow hairball

Grace Jones, hostage negotiator
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
[why do I feel like I'm in some banjo/guitar Deliverance duel?]

She forced them to watch
"A View to a Kill" 12 times
(They soon surrendered)


Mungo and Midge get sprung by the ALF
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
They said they couldn't
take show biz any longer
Thanks to ALF, they don't

Winnie the Pooh vs. the IRS
 

---

Posted by Joyfulsoul (# 4652) on :
 
a little bit of
fluff and some honey, is that
tax deductible?

Sombreros
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
lovely sombrero
i shall wear you while I take
a nice siesta


gin & tonic
 

---

Posted by Joyfulsoul (# 4652) on :
 
gin and tonic, oh
God's gift to woman and man
down it goes, yummy

Disco
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
when cleaning house, i
play Donna Summer CD,
dance with the vacuum

fuzzy bedroom slippers

[ 26. February 2006, 05:26: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Mrs Bear chucked mine
Now my poor little bear toes
Shiver bear naked


Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin singing their controversial B Side "Vieux MacDonald (il avait une ferme)"
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Ooh la la, je l'aime,
Vos "milking apparatus".
Ah one two fur queue.

Prince Charles, political dissident
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
"Errrrr.... What does one want?
More butlers! Errrr... When does one
Want them? Presently!"


Moby Dixon of Dock Green
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Evenin' all. Ahab
Itual criminal, you
Are. Whale meet again.

Tess of the Baskervilles
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Great unpleasantness
Never fails to occur
On the English moors


Morte D'Pratchett
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
When he goes AWOL
Susan steps into his place
BINKY, COME HERE, BOY


Kill Alice in Wonderland 2
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Uma, Queen of Hearts
Caterwauls "off with her head"!
Swish, swish, swish! 'Tis done.


The past is another country
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Here and now I'm home
Once upon a time I went
there, elsewhere, elsewhen

life in song
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
SO: you are born, you
grow up, before you know it
you're old and dyiNG


The unbearable lightness of being Ernest.
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Russians are coming?
Tush and fie, Lady Bracknell!
More vodka, Bosie?

Eaten by penguins
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
Oh the irony
of the roles reversed. P-p
pick up a human.

Feather dusters
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
I'm sure they're useful
So why can't I think of them
without dirty thoughts?

Hippy Mr Whippy

[ 27. February 2006, 14:02: Message edited by: Master Tubby Bear ]
 

---

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
Whippy's threads are cool.
Bell bottoms, head band and beads.
I can dig it, man.
---
Fat Tuesday.
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Despite the flooding
Brass, beads, booze and bods abound
Hot time in Nawleans

First kiss
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Mine was from Lisa
A flautist: which meant she knew
Where to put her tongue

Blessed are the cheesemakers
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Blessed are the Poor;
For theirs is Heaven's Edam.
Deep Fried Wolf Nipples!

<<>>
When Mary Met Sally
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
The failed follow-up
Because women can be friends
Without faking it


Snow White and the Seven Samurai
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
The great swordsman "Doc"
and his loyal retainers
rescue the princess

Jurassic Python
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
This Pteradactyl
Is an ex-Pterasaur
do fjords* exist yet ?


(* one syllable)

post it notes left by others on your computer monitor
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
The name is unclear,
The number illegible.
How do I call back?

Babies playing in the box their present came out of
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
A horrid mix-up
Resealing box for refund.
Hope they post him back.


Lassie acquires the power of speech
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
"Should we follow you?"
"No - pay me back royalties,
And bring me a bitch."

Sense And Sensimilla
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Often using one
Leads to chronic avoidance
Of the other one

Fuedal futility
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Oligarchical
Oppression for Joe Public
The serfs soldiered on


Pride and Parrot Jizz
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
There are certain things
One must never talk about
in good company

Driving with Cellphones
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
phoning in the car
will you "be home soon"
or end up in hospital ?

altering images with Photoshop.
 

---

Posted by TrudyTrudy (I say unto you) (# 5647) on :
 
Jude Law has his arm
around me. He adores me.
I love Photoshop.

Design your own reality show
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Preston, Abi Titmuss
Can't cross yet - Celebrity
Love Traffic Island


The Muppet Hamlet
 

---

Posted by art dunce (# 9258) on :
 
from the balcony
Statler and Waldorf would howl
we vote for not be!

Timothy Treadwell
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
God's own predators;
He wanted to love them all.
They wanted dinner.

The Dogs Must Be Crazy
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Muttley, Deputy Dawg,
Hong Kong Phooey. Nuts, each one.
Who let them out? Who?


Brer Rabbit's dirty habit

[ 01. March 2006, 11:30: Message edited by: Master Tubby Bear ]
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
#*$%! syllable count
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
On joining Orders,
Rabbit avowed Poverty
Chastity and Filth.


Down and out in Eurodisney

[ 01. March 2006, 12:05: Message edited by: Birdseye ]
 

---

Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Disneyland Paris
Is just like Alton Towers
With rodent problems.


Country music

[Crappy code]

[ 01. March 2006, 12:37: Message edited by: Balaam ]
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Full of engaging
ditties like "You're The Reason
Our Kids Are Ugly"


Jihadi Kabbadi
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Forty virgins serve
No half time oranges but
Big Apple crumbles.

David Hasselhoff and Goliath
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
He chose five smooth hits
That were big in Germany;
Goliath ran off.


Frankie Pentangeli the Lollipop Man
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Frankie Five-Angels,
Your road safety hat suits you
More than a garotte.

[Building up a picture of what Master Tubby Bear gets up to in his free time: flicking between 'The Godfather', cartoons and the obscure Indian sports channel whilst eating steak, ice-cream and Golden nuggets...]

Mötley Crüe play Taizé
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Shout at the Devil!
Communal Headbanging,
Love and Hairspray; Amen.


Beverley Hillbillies, 90210
 

---

Posted by fight-club for the soul (# 11098) on :
 
come see backwoods clan
love clothes as they sneakily
cheat on each other


next: university noticeboards
 

---

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 
need a ride downtown
roommate seeks same for rental
easy credit now!

next: the joys and sorrows of Lent
 

---

Posted by Joyfulsoul (# 4652) on :
 
time for soul searching
time for fasting and some feasting
dust to dust, risen

More Lent thoughts
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Time for discipline
To prepare myself for God
And joy of Easter.

Wordsworth in New York
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
He wandered lonely
then came upon a host of
Golden taxi-cabs


Jamie Oliver Twist
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Naked fish fryer
with a simple hollandaise
"Please, I want some more."

Quotations
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Cutting out stolen
Bon-Mots from my wedding script,
Has left me speechless.


Cheese Sauce with everything.
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Tasty with pasta
Not so appropriate with
Lemon meringue pie


mmmmmm... Lemon Meringue Pie ....
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Gifted with lemons,
I attempted to make one.
Alas, it was goo.

A lone penguin, on an ice floe, contemplating Global Warming
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
The ice thins and melts
Where can we breed without ice?
Move to Miami?

The Helipad next door
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
The sweetness of night;
I listen to the wind, then,
WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP!

Giving up sugar for Lent
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
My teeth are happy.
I am not, as my eating
habits are constrained.

Being in the only part of the country with no snow
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
We bask in sunlight
And giggle at news reports
Welcome to summer!

Difference between the book and the film
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Bronzed, Charlton Heston
Commands in technicolor:
clean, yankee Hebrews.


Cake or death?
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
He stands resolute
Only his son pleads with him, "please!
Take the Battenberg!"


don't get too close to The Edge
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Yes songs rattle round
Music of another time
Wakeman on keyboards.

What the butler saw
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
There, in the white room
A lead pipe with a big dent
Was it Mr. Green?

A chihuahua, riding the train downtown, tucked in his master's jacket.
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Yes songs rattle round
Music of another time
Wakeman on keyboards.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Master Tubby Bear:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Yes songs rattle round
Music of another time
Wakeman on keyboards.

WW-san, I understand not your Yes allusion. I have no doubt that there is science behind it, but The Edge has never played (to the best of my knowledge) with Yes. Please enlighten your ursine colleague. I thank you.

---

Ah well, most honourable MTB, back when I was but a slip of a lad, well somewhere in my 20s, Yes released an album called Close to the Edge - being an old fogey who now listens mainly to opera and chamber music I've never heard of a band called The Edge.



I hope this knowledge brings glorious enlightenment.


(more code fiddling)

[ 04. March 2006, 20:23: Message edited by: Chorister ]
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
I hope this knowledge brings glorious enlightenment.

---

It does, it does. May your cherry tree blossom throughout window.


The rain speaks to me
It says "you forgot your coat".
The rain never lies.


the fear that your mother packed cheese sandwiches for you when what you really wanted was peanut butter


(and yet more fiddling)

[ 04. March 2006, 20:24: Message edited by: Chorister ]
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Dare I look inside?
Will all my hopes be shattered?
Childhood's dreams all gone?

The Alarm clock
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
(topic: alarm clock)

Saturday: it rings.
I forgot to shut it off.
It flies free; I rest.

skipping out of all responsibilities for a day and going sledding with the town's kids instead

[eta topic for new page]

[ 04. March 2006, 19:58: Message edited by: cometchaser ]
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Circus hosts remind
preview post is my friend, then
throw snowballs at you.

terrible twos
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
matt and luke goss-bros
bush and blair, the superfriends
wanna trantrum NOW!

Trangressing the Decalogue
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
"Thou shalt" or "shalt not"
Temptation snatches us all
Sooner or later

your old collection of audio-cassette tapes
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Boheme and Trav with
With Sutherland or Callas
Full blast in rush hour!

Spiritual Seagull
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
BUGGER - two 'with's - sorry about that.

I'll do my penance later.
 

---

Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
I have not yet read
Richard Bach's classic novel
about a seagull.

Trying not to sneeze
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Tickles; buzzy nose.
must get through weather report;
eh... eh... expect snow!

watching the cats watching the bird feeder
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I see them thinking:
What an excellent device
The humans have made


The Rite of Spring-bottled water
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Drinking and dancing
Reaching for oblivion
With neutral pH.

The Scottish Play
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Is this a dagger
I see before me? Double
Double, toil, trouble


George W and Kate meet at a family get-together
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
She says, "I have all
the beauty, the talent, yet
you get all the press."

the futon mattress that keeps sliding to the floor
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
"Pass the cheeseknife, Kate."
"It's in the cheese! It's coming!"
"Now, a rendition...?"

Zombies invade the Oscars
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Two posts within 6 minutes of each other after nearly 16 hours? Freaky. Go with the mattress.
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Taut skin hangs from bones,
Long teeth glint, claws clutch, convulse...
...Which are the zombies?


(going back to Cometchaser's theme:)
Unhelpful bedding

[ 07. March 2006, 08:32: Message edited by: Birdseye ]
 

---

Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
The sheet is wrinkled,
My pillow is filled with rocks.
Sleep is elusive.

Tidying the house

[ 07. March 2006, 09:33: Message edited by: andyjoneszz ]
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Where is this thing from?
It can go beside his bed
I hope it's not mine!

Dreaming of chocolate at the end of Lent
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Twixt pancakes and choc-
olate: Forty tortured days
in the wilderness.


On the joy of a well-crafted sandwich
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Granary slices
Reveal moist poached salmon. Munch.
I am transported.


The childhood chant "Ner Ner ne Ner Ner"
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Ner Ner ne Ner Ner
Can't catch me but, of course, mum
Always knows it all.

Fried Spam
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Not ham. Not sausage.
Neither fish nor fowl. When fried,
It's crispy pink pulp.


The Muppet Show, live and uncut.
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Miss Piggy and the
Frog cavort naked across
The stage - Cut! - Curtain!

Ship's talent contest
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
SarkyCow breathes fire,
while Kelly twirls the axe;
Pyx_e tells crude jokes.

Lenten Lentils (for supper AGAIN?!?!?)
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Pulses, Dal, Lentils
Dried Beans, Leguminous all
Sprouting from my ears!

The Supermarket Cafe
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Who comes here to eat?
The food's simply awful, and
The surroundings worse.

Getting the last little bit out of the jar
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
That small sundae spoon
Might just do it, I hate waste
And Marmite ain't cheap!

Marmalade
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Bitter orange spread
On my bitt'a toast makes a
happy Tubby Bear

the dollar yen spot exchange rate
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
"Mister Goldstein, may
I purchase your dalmation?"
queries Mister Wang.


The invention of alphabetti spaghetti.
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
But Marco Polo,
Why would you want to eat that?
Why not write with it?

Blackpool - Cultural Mecca
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
The Tower Ballroom
The pleasure beach and arcades
And "Kiss me Quick" hats!

Hadrian's Wall
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
“Summat t’Romans did”
Said our kid, knowledgeable
After a field trip

The Hierarchy of Hell Ice Dance Show
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
The problem was that
Lucifer's seven circles
Caused the ice to melt


The Isle of Man launch a space probe to Button Moon
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Astronauts: tailless
Colin Pillinger: still crap
Spaceship: wooden; burnt.

2Pac's eighty-seventh posthumous album
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Still comes nowhere near
Bob Marley who recorded
Songs he’d never heard

Saul visits the witch of Endor
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
He's recently blind;
it's a good thing, because she's
a sore for sight eyes.

Teletubby insurance claim
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
Po wrapped his wagon
Round a tree and then fell off
Tree came from nowhere!


Horseback riding
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Sitting tall and proud
The palomino stands still
Yet still I fall off.

Scrooge
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Why, sometime between
Dickens and Disney, did our
Scrooge become a Scot?


The Dead Parrot Sketch
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
This parrot is deceased
It is not pining for the fjords
John Cleese quite superb!

Pizza
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
In praise of stuffed crusts,
I will build a new kingdom
Topping Domino's.

Tarantino directs Sesame Street
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Too many syllables WW -that's not like you...are you under the weather?

O l i v e s... <anchovies<<
~~~Melted mozzarella~~~
{Red sauce and bread dough.}


Men in leotards.

Darn, cross-posted -go with wbb suggestion

[ 10. March 2006, 08:55: Message edited by: Birdseye ]
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
And I put in too FEW! 'THEN melted mozzarella'
that'll teach me to add up other people's syllables won't it.

[ 10. March 2006, 08:58: Message edited by: Birdseye ]
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Bert and Ernie plan
To kill that MoFo Oscar -
"Let's take out the trash!"

For Birdseye:
Men in leotards
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Bulges in lycra
In all the, erm, right places
A sight for sore eyes!



on the same theme: Ballet
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
Occasional work
assembling sets, hanging lights
for women in tights.

Opera
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
in my neighborhood,
admit that you like opera:
lose face at the pub.

"Do not bend, spindle, or mutilate"
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Instructions on post
Are useless. May as well say
"Please use for football"


The Nolan Sisters come round for cake
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Celtic harpies are
"In The Mood For Dancing" while
Masticating scones.

American remakes of European films
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Subtlety all gone
Dialogue torn right apart
Is it really art?

Roller coasters
 

---

Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
Tiny car, wind blows
s l o w l y up and hurtling down
hear me screaming Aaaaaaah!

Bend me, shape me
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Sounds like pop lyrics.
Sad thing is, it could be a
Christian chorus


Leo Sayer, witchfinder pursuivant
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
There’s an enormous
Crowd of People and they’re
All after my blood

A Perfect Fit
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
please enlighten me
Leo finding witches would
Seem not to feature

anyhoo

Look at me! Which crone
said leotards don't fit on
balding 70s stars?


Bjork buys a sticky bun
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
My goose IS my dress
I buy a lump of sweetness
Sugarcube Breakfast

Polar Bear Extinction
 

---

Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
Drip, drip, drip into
the ocean goes my home, my
place, my hope, my life.

All Power Tends To Corrupt...
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Trust me for I'm safe
From Satanic influence
I'll just bomb Iraq!

Travel agents
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by andyjoneszz:
Drip, drip, drip into
the ocean goes my home, my
place, my hope, my life.

---

 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
For an extra grand
We add on an excursion
watching monkeys screw.

Girl Scout Cookies
 

---

Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
Myself, I wouldn't put
girl scouts in cookies, ev'n to
please the polar bears.

Railway Enthusiasts
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Anoraks on rails
Preserve the old and smoky
They call it "Romance"

A ballpoint pen
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
NASA spent thousands
Making one that writes in space;
Russia took pencils.

Telling your mum there's a man at the door when there isn't
 

---

Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
(aside to Master Tubby Bear

Describes a witchhunt in
Leo's exact own words )
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Here Mum, I'll get it
Oooh, he's a giant, he is
Said he would return

Laughing till you cry
 

---

Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
That was fantastic,
The funniest thing I've heard,
My sides ache, it hurts.

Leaking washing machine
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
My wishy washy
Drips and leaves a pool of suds
It's a laundry sieve

Tedious egos
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
walking on eggshells
lined with plastic explosives
get the idea?

half baked chocolate chip cookies

[ 13. March 2006, 02:46: Message edited by: mirrizin ]
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
they're turning golden
but there's still three minutes left
i'll eat the batter

leftovers for Sunday night dinner

[ 13. March 2006, 03:42: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Bubble and Squeak with
Stir fried cold roast Sunday joint
With lots of brown sauce!

Spellcheck
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
darling spellcheck, yew
eye dent i fye me as one,
"Almond Loose Strudel"

hyperactive 4 year old boys
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Mummy, daddy, can
We go and play and do and . . .
Then we want ice cream!

Sunglasses
 

---

Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
Keeping out the light,
Shades that keep my soul from view.
Benefits both ways!

Deadlines
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Next time, different
None of this late night writing!
I know it won't change.

Arnold Schwarzenegger
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Ya, Guvernator!
Hear me now, You will be taxed!
Maria says so!

Ghosts with bad breath
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Nearly Headless Nick
With foetid halitosis
Does not use mouthwash.

Holiday photos
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
twenty years later,
And I still find that I look
stupid in that shirt.

street corner catnip pushers
 

---

Posted by kirk (# 10967) on :
 
Jonesin' for the green?
The first frolic will be free
Wild eyes from then on

Sunset over water
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Bright flaming pink clouds
shifty cerulean band
chilliness abounds

Urban Skyline, viewed late at night from a train platform
 

---

Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
Strangely distorted
lights and shapes, seen through rain
in the side of a train.

That's an English late-night railway platform, by the way; the experience is probably quite different elsewhere in the world.

Housework
 

---

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Ironing, washing,
drying, dusting, ah sod it
I'll do it later.

Trans-Atlantic flight
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Booze is kicking in;
Throw yoghurt at the steward.
Diversion; arrest.

Bin Laden's disco album
 

---

Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
Saturday Night Fever
is now officially replaced
by Friday Night Prayers.

(Smudge the syllables of Saturday and officially together to make two and three apiece, in English city-dwellers' fashion, and it just about works...)

Religious Tolerance
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Lady asks, am I saved?
Smiles,and pushes Jesus.
yet, I don't kill her.

italian food for lent
 

---

Posted by FiliusSyon (# 10722) on :
 
Lively fountains in spring -
Smells of peach and fertility
Is neighbor´s sweeter?

(Aww. To slow.)

[ 16. March 2006, 20:52: Message edited by: FiliusSyon ]
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
I deny myself
All food that contains basil.
It tastes of vomit.

The sequel to The Da Vinci Code which contends that not only did Jesus marry and have children, he also formed his own glam-rock covers band which toured pubs in the north of England
 

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Posted by andyjoneszz (# 11045) on :
 
I cannot comment.
Brown has stolen my idea
and I shall sue him.

Holy Blood and Holy Grail, that fearless beacon of veracity
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
It's nice in Theory,
all this Jesus-in-love stuff;
but the book was Dull.

playing with legos instead of doing your real work
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
DNA research
bores me. Instead, try Lego
double helix fun.


Finding that your mates have slipped a ham sandwich and a bottle of beer into your Haj lunchbox
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Carslberg? Like their heads,
The Danes hate to see it leave.
Ham? Make me fatwa.

Prince Charles' private diaries reveal fondness for wearing mother's bridal veil
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Love the feel of silk!
Can't get the full effect, though.
Phil's nicked the gaiter...
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Oops, forgot: Poisoned by an organ (See Metapelagius's Purg thread for inspiration...)
 

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Posted by Autenrieth Road (# 10509) on :
 
here

Lead me console-wards.
Lead makes most-musical pipes.
EU led astray.

[Next topic: the Widor Toccata]

[ 18. March 2006, 16:29: Message edited by: Autenrieth Road ]
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Figurations - wow!
Unless you cheat - in both hands!
Bugger that! Who hears...?

Quality of food on long haul flights...
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
I feel guilty
sneaking my subway sandwich;
but otherwise, EWW!

the one thing you have always wanted to say to your Sig Other
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
When will you get here?
I've waited half my life and
I'm losing my looks.

E=MC Hammer
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Energy equals
mass times the speed of light squared;
Can't touch this - BOOM BOOM.

getting squirrels out of the bird feeder
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Oi, Nutkin! get lost!
Those peanuts are for the birds.
Go and find acorns.


Boutros Boutros Ghali plays a drop shot
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Once-mighty leader
Deeply disillusioned, still
Plays some mean tennis

Led Zeppelin at a golf match
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
"I don't care if you
Can do "magick" - spandex pants
are not golf attire"


What Frank Beard from ZZ Top might dream about if he had had too much cheese to eat last thing before going to bed
 

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Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
Mice with the munchies
Appearing in my whiskers
They have many legs

The Interior Castle of Otranto
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
Romans, Greeks, Turks, Normans
Have all passed through these stone walls
Now, the tourists reign

Learning Ancient Greek
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Alpha, beta, .....umm
Bollocks, I'm off down the pub
For a cheese toastie.

Creatonist vs. Evolutionist ping-pong tournament
 

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Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :
 
ping pong ping pong ping
pong ping pong ping pong ping pong
ping pong pong pong drat!


dishwasher blues

[ 23. March 2006, 15:44: Message edited by: Smudgie ]
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
I hated washing up;
Got a dishwasher. Brilliant!
Hate emptying it...

Cooking with uranium
 

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Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
Enchilladas are
Cheese, salsa, chicken. Topped with
fresh cancerous death.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Gwai - we need a subject for the next one, please.
 

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Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
eeep! Sorry

no time for dinner
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Rushing to and fro
Snatching nibbles as I go
More indigestion!

Thunderstorms
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
No matter how hard
I rub water, I can't get
Sparks. How come God can?

Mother Teresa's career in Formula One Racing
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
pressure, tight gold chain;
thunder, crack: heaven splinters;
down falls cold release.

[blast! cross post! carry on.]

[ 24. March 2006, 05:31: Message edited by: cometchaser ]
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
A flameproof habit
Helmet, white with blue striping
In Calcutta's streets.

The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Omar, "down under"
Dropped cap by marsupial.
"Look there! Roo by hat!"

Blu-tack
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Squdgy and gluey
Holding up the flip-chart sheets -
Gets stuck in my clothes.

Cleaning the cooker
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
I am not so sure
that I really want to know
what this green stuff is.

fixing up your bicycle

[ 24. March 2006, 14:32: Message edited by: cometchaser ]
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
I got some pink paint
And some Barbie horns and bells
My daughter loved it


Learn your times table with Larry Mullen Jr.
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
What is three times six?
Haven't you learned this stuff, Jake?
Karen? Not U2...

Tragic Accident with a Thurible
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Censing the altar
With the lid still raised, hot coals
Set the lace on fire!

Papal Bull Fighting
 

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Posted by Zorro (# 9156) on :
 
Papal Bull Fighting
Get it by the horns
Benedict, it's heading for
the Basillica.

The "Axe-Murderer" Smilie
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
(That's this one - hover your cursor over it in the group of "Instant Smilies" at bottom left when you're on the "Post a Reply" page. I knew it was there, but it took me a while to remember which one it is.)

Showers of red fall;
Who's lost their head over me?
You or your victim?

TOILET DUCK
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Green bottle with a
U-Bend in the neck to bleach
Away all the stains.

The Charge of the Light Brigade
 

---

Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
So your red engine
Isn't heavy! Why bill me
Heaps to put out fire?

On Hating Tomato Ketchup
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Hideous vile sauce
Full of sugar and colour,
I'd rather have blood!

Daylight Saving Time
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Sunday, 4 p.m.
Time just drags on endlessly.
Oh God! It's only THREE...

When the Fat Lady Sings
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
When the Fat Lady
Has hit the Top C then died
We can all go home.

Things you find when cleaning the fridge
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
I open the door;
Suddenly, I see clearly.
Ah! Enlightenment...


Things you find when cleaning the fridge II
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Green and furry thing
Are you bread, cheese or an old
Sad bit of sardine?

The Washing Machine is Broken
 

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Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Judder, judder, bang.
Machine dies, and leaves the room
Knee deep in water.

Mobile phone with no signal
 

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Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :
 
"Can you hear me now?"
Words of despair left afloat.
"Can you hear me now?"

the morning news
 

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Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
“Sir, my kedgeree’s
once more spoiled by your blatant
plagiarism”


Jehovah’s Witnesses - The Flower Power Years
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Kaftaned two at door:
"Tune in, turn on, drop out, man!
Buy a Watchtower...?"

Spaghetti - Carbonara or Bolognese?
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
for so many years,
I thought my only choice:
Prego or Ragu?

galloping glaciers
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
In a jam I sit
Outside lane, M6, stuck fast.
A glacier whizzes by...

Apollo 13
 

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Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Miles out into space,
That shouldn't do that! Houston:
We have a problem!

Seeing one of your haikus on another board
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Great minds think alike
Or is plagiarism now
A Circus problem?

Double Decker Aeroplanes
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
First Class - delightful!
I tilt seat, to sleep. Blast! There's
A party upstairs...

Garlic ice cream.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
It's a favourite
Served with cold roast meats, cheeses
And wilted salad.

Columbus sails the Ship of Fools
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
"Turn back, Cap'n! The edge!
We'll fall off!" "Scurvy knaves!We
Belong On The Edge!!"

Eminem as a Shipmate
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
Calls to hell just got
turned to art; king of verbal
abuse, in bad rhyme.

blowing off work for the ship. again.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
A report due in
Ten minutes; one more haiku
Before I do it!

A hot shower
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Warm droplets caress;
Sress washed away... AAAARGH! Which swine
Ran "hot" in kitchen?

A cold shower
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
In tropical heat
Cold showers still shock and chill
And get me awake.

Mushroom pizza
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Crust, tomato paste,
Mozarella - I feel one with you!
I'm a Fun Ghi too!

All Day Breakfast Pizza
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Bleugh! My maths crashed completely.


Mozzarella, crust
Tomato paste. Add me!
I'm such a Fun Ghi!

I'll sell the other one as parts, on Ebay... I'd blush to set the topic for the next one after such a crash.

Ah! Proofreading for Dummies! - Oops - wrong thread...
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
I know! I know! I suddenly lost the ability to count up to seven. Please stick in "just" as the fifth syllable. Then burn it...



 

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Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
The subject, if I've got it right, is "All-day Breakfast Pizza"

Ooh, nice! Tomato,
Cheese and dough, topped with porridge,
Cornflakes, toast and jam!

(The is silent!)

Confucius learns to ride a bicycle


[ETA: Subject]

[ 28. March 2006, 10:08: Message edited by: The Great Gumby ]
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Confucius he say
Riding bike like sex, once learned
You never forget.



Cleaning my specs
 

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Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
The mists of neglect
cleared away with a swift wipe.
I can see clearly.

Eating very hot curry.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Andhra food, chilli
Hot, lots of extra ginger -
I dread the morning!

- - - -

Jumping a red light
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Amber, stay amber!
No, not red! Oh, hell with it!
Hope no one saw me...

Office parties
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
working and playing
two distinct activities
ought never be mixed

Instant Messenger
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
You ping me when I
Am busy and expect me
To chat inanely.

- - - -

Windchimes
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
subject: windchimes

I bought them because
They were so lovely; but now
the wind awakens.

Aliens come to earth to learn how to make movies

[eta subject for new page]

[ 29. March 2006, 05:31: Message edited by: cometchaser ]
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Little green Spielbergs
Telling Goodric to phone home.
Will it make money?

- - - -

An umbrella
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
pitter-patter-pat
spider's web on metal frame
small island of dry

Bipolar March weather
 

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Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Light breeze, blazing sun,
Tempt the cautious out, hatless;
Then drench them in sleet.


On the shore.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Waves lapping at sand
Children with buckets and spades
Building sandcastles.

- - - -

Cathedral Close
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Such a foggy night!
Where's that bloody cathedral?
Bump!!! Ouch!!! There it is...

Refried Beans
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
they look like dog poo
but in a taco with cheese
they're really quite nice


Walking through Stuttgart in a pink coat humming "I predict a riot" and carrying a poodle
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Ich bin in einem
Richtiges Durcheinander.
Das ist nicht sehr gut.

William Shatner interprets the works of Samuel Beckett
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
heroic captain
waits patiently as his ship
swiftly goes nowhere

Time Poorly Wasted
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Making up haikus
For the Ship of Fools; this ain't
Doing my taxes!

- - - -

Offending Shipmates
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
you know you are loved
when you appear in crap mood;
All Saints lights candle.

impossible expenses with no money
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
All these needs of mine
How can I make the ends meet?
Where's my Visa card?

- - - -

Finishing the bottle
 

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Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :
 
I am truly pissed
But I waste not want not
So bottoms up

Tinea

[ 30. March 2006, 09:11: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
 

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Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
Tinman. No pulse. "Clear!"
He needed a heart; But got
Electroplated.


(sorry, that was 'tinnier' wasn't it?)

The Nutcracker
 

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Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :
 
My gonads tremble
As the fist clenches tight
Ouch! Nuts in bits.

Sunburn
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
She wore steel kneepads
And well knew how to use them.
She fits spikes next week.

- - - -

Mosquito repellent

Sorry, crosspost with LATA - go with Sunburn

[ 30. March 2006, 09:36: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
 

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Posted by Zorro (# 9156) on :
 
Ah, the crimson back
Don't sit down, it hurts so much
I see, my face peels

Sooty doing the Myers Briggs Test

For those of you unfamiliar with sooty, he's here he's a sock puppet who squeeks for his voice.
 

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Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
Silent but active -
I or E? I think, like Sweep,
He's ENTP

[I should say that over here, he's never made a noise at all, just whispered in people's ears. Sweep's his mate, who's a dog, and does squeak. How scary that this is the first time I've used Myers-Briggs for anything - money well spent!]

For Woderwick: Mosquito repellent
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Stinks to high heaven
And doesn't seem to deter
mozzies. Wot a swizz.

The false belief that you are the Under-Secretary to the Treasury in the government of Guinea-Bissau
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
One for the chief and
One for me; one for the chief
And, erm, two for me.

- - - -

New shoes
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
You strut in the shop
But you know that soon enough
You will be hobbling


Inflatable Condoleeza Rice
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Condoleeza Rice,
My blow up fantasy girl -
Let me try this pin!

- - - -

Taking the kids to school in the SUV
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Hey, I hate ozone -
and who cares about global
drought or poverty?


Rousseau meets Clouseau
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Does your dog bite through
Society's artifice,
My lil' yellow friend?

Plato meets Cato
 

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Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Cato stressed that his
Friendship with the Frenchman was
Purely platonic


Kant meets Ant (& Dec)
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
"HoWAY Manny, Man!"
"Ant and Dec - meet Ding an Sich ..."
"Categoric WHAT...?"

T S Eliot meets Missy Elliot
 

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Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
"what the dilly yo?"
translated into Latin
with twenty footnotes

Sigmund Freud's flight is delayed
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
Slim steel cylinder
Cannot rise. I defer my
Gratification.

A clerical error results in Billy Connolly being the new Archbishop of Canterbury
 

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Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
just a few typos
and the whole anglican church
is ruled by Billy.

(yeah, so it's not very creative, but I'm not sure I know who he is)

love Haiku to my dog
 

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Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Most gracious hound,
Loyal, trusting and honest.
It's time for walkies.

Booking an air ticket online, with dyslexia

[ 05. April 2006, 09:50: Message edited by: Balaam ]
 

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Posted by Psyduck (# 2270) on :
 
I seem to have booked
A flight to Paris, Texas
In Charles de Gaulle's name...

To a beloved, accurate catapult
 

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Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
Oh wondrous weapon!
With thee I can kill a mouse,
or even a rat.

Rush hour
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Sitting still, not calm;
Planning out the day ahead
Roll on retirement!

- - - -

Losing my address book
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
I'll just try dialing
familiar looking numbers
until I reach dad.

16 inches of snow in april
 

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Posted by jinglebellrocker (# 8493) on :
 
April showers bring...
April Fools! No flowers bloom
Snowmen walk the earth

George W. Bush drafted to fight in Iraq
 

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Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
GAHD IS ON MAH SIDE
AND AH WILL BRING FREEEM MOXY
(Come get me, daddy)

Pooh Berlusconi
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Time for a little
Something - oh, another fine;
It's all Tigger's fault!

- - - -

Belated Birthday Cards
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
a sealed envelope
rip of steel blade through paper
happiness takes time


log rolling
 

---

Posted by cometchaser (# 10353) on :
 
roll to the bottom
one, then the next; by autumn,
we'll have a cabin.

The Bar/club that all the Ambulances always know the way to by heart
 

---

Posted by mirrizin (# 11014) on :
 
crash as bottle breaks
thud as someone hits the floor
hope wails through the night

the way that tall buildings create wind tunnels
 

---

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 
roaring down the plains
suddenly it's steel canyons
funneling their might

athlete's foot fungus
 

---

Posted by wom_biddum_biddum (# 10592) on :
 
Paula Radcliffe stops;
Her feet aren't tired, but she must
Harvest the mushrooms.

Ben and Gerry Adams
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Republican cone
Please, with raspberry syrup.
No, hold the Paisley!

- - - -

Chocolate Allergy
 

---

Posted by jinglebellrocker (# 8493) on :
 
Were I allergic
To chocolate, at least I'd
Die a happy man

Osama bin Laden's favorite goat
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
She frolics on the
Mountains of Baluchistan
Non-explosively.

- - - -

Cleaning the keyboard
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
Ah, I remember
that cup of tea, those crumbs. [wipe]
Let's make a new mess.


James Bond receives his orders from (Boney) M
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Double-O-7
In the ring, licensed to kill
Sent after Spectre.

- - - -

At a soccer match
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
"My old man said be
A Watford fan - I said..." [it's
unrepeatable]


The enmity between the Campbells and Ronald MacDonald
 

---

Posted by Birdseye (# 5280) on :
 
"They may take our lives...
But we will NEVER, eat their
Burgers!" cried Mingus.


1001 Arabian Nights
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Scherezade
Dreamt up a lot of stories
To keep hold of life.

- - - -

Lost on your evening walk
 

---

Posted by Master Tubby Bear (# 9739) on :
 
I wandered lonely
As a cloud til I noticed
I was lost. Bugger.


[eta: previous subject: lost on your evening walk]

Romano Prodi forms a coalition with Tears for Fears

[ 11. April 2006, 16:16: Message edited by: Master Tubby Bear ]
 

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Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
This has been a very enjoyable thread with some interesting and different subject lines. Not least the fine last post by Master Tubby Bear.It would be a pity to let the thread deteriorate over the last few pages, so I'd like to move it to Limbo while it is still in fine form, as an example of a good Circus thread.

Perhaps Master Tubby Bear or some other poster would like to begin a new thread when they are ready?

Chorister, Host.
 

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