Ship of Fools: Hell: Get out your foil hats!

Thread: Hell: Get out your foil hats! Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Ripshod Prym8 (# 5757) on :

Note; I originally posted this on the Heaven board, but the thread was locked and suggested that I rethink my post and send it to Hell.

I'm a newbie here and I haven't been lurking very long. I was under the (perhaps erroneous) impression that one purose for this web site, among others, is to propogate and nurture a healthy sense of humor about religion as a whole, and christianity in particular.

This is just a story. It's entertainment. If you're a fundy, you won't like it and I'd love to hear what you don't like about it if you'd care to let me know. I like to stir things up and I do have a lot of time on my hands. If this is entirely inappropriate for this site, I offer my apologies and will reevaluate my take on what you guys are doing here.

Thank You'
Rip

P.S. I hope I've cleaned up the formatting enough to make it more readable. It's supposed to be fun, after all. I've tried to delete all the carriage returns. I hope that helps.

I've never put much stock in conspiracy theories. Lately I've been unencumbered by practical thought and have latched upon an idea which, while horrible in its implications, could explain a lot. Maybe I'm trying to start an unfounded rumor, or pitching a movie treatment, or perhaps I'm just being paranoid, I don't know. I'd like to find some logic to dispel this theory, but every argument I can make against its possibility is based to some degree upon unsupported faith that our president and his advisers are sane and well intentioned. I cannot deduce that from the facts.

George W. Bush has as yet failed to make clear his motivation for invading and occupying Iraq. His main stated objective, the defense of the homeland, is spurious at best. There is no evidence that Saddam Hussein or any Iraqis posed a threat to any Americans. The WMD's did not exist. If he was in fact convinced before the invasion that they did exist, and that was his true motive, one would have expected some adjustment in policy when his motivation disappeared or shifted. No, he was not afraid of Saddam. We could take the cynical view that it's all about oil, but there are many ways for the president to help increase the oil companies' profits without going to the extremes of war. To my mind, there has to be a motive so grand, so world changing, that it rises above all other considerations of freedom and justice, but yet so polarizing that it dare not be spoken by name.

The pivotal factor may be religion. Bear in mind that your president believes that the universe was created, pretty much as we see it now, just six to ten thousand years ago. He believes that every creature alive today is a direct descendant of those that rode out a storm in a small boat three thousand years ago. Not only does this expose a dearth of critical thought on his part, but it leads to many other necessary conclusions based upon attempts to interpret the bible.

As you may know, fundamentalist christians are divided with regard to most issues of faith. The diverse groups, all referencing the same book, come to different conclusions about what their god requires of them. Opinions are often at polar opposites in matters as fundamental as the means to salvation itself, but there is at least one bit of christian dogma which spans the sects and serves to unite them all, and that is Judgment Day. Any literalistic reading of the bible leads to its inevitability. Even if two bible thumpers can't agree on something as basic as the necessity and method of baptism, they must come together in awaiting the rapturous return of their personal savior.

The nature of the second coming is discussed much in the bible, but the prophecies are unclear, disjointed and contradictory. The exact timetable for the end of the world must be gleaned from different books by several authors in both testaments. The exact timing of the rapture with respect to the apocalyptic wars and pestilences we're to endure is unclear. There are dispensationalists, tribulationists and pre-tribs and who knows what else, but all sects have one glaring, undeniable act in the prophecies, one physical deed which has yet to be performed before the return of their holy ghost can occur, and it requires no divine intervention. The Jews must rebuild the temple in Jerusalem. There's no way around that, biblically speaking.

Suppose, if you will, a secret, long-established cabal of extreme fundamentalists, both christians and Jews, a mutually beneficial agreement that the rebuilding of the Jewish temple is of great spiritual urgency. After all, it has been foretold and is a tenet of both religions. Each for their own reasons, the recent actions of the Bush administration and of the Israeli leadership would make sense as precursors to the construction of the temple. Unfortunately for those who would offer their respective gods an assist with his divine will, there happens to be another shrine now existing at the ordained building site. The Dome of the Rock, one of the holiest sites in all of Islam, is there. It is the supposed birthplace of the prophet Muhammad, if I recall correctly. It certainly wouldn't simply be a matter of condemning the property and taking bids for construction. All of the hell which can be mustered in the entire muslim world would come crashing down upon Israel on the day the first brick was laid. Therefore, lots of preparation is called for. Given the obvious hubris evidenced in the words and deeds of the president, I have no doubt that he knows that with god on his side, he could pull it off. After all, this much is prophesied and someone will bring it about. Your president is thoroughly convinced of this. Why could it not be through him? Given his belief in prophecy and his status as undeniably the most powerful man in the world, can he look at this world and determine that there was ever or will ever be a time better than now, or a man better than he to bring it about?

With a major military base in western Iraq, the U.S. could do much to defend Jerusalem from the hostility of its neighbors. The Israeli pullout from Gaza and the construction of the new wall will establish lines for a complete shutoff from Palestinian evildoers. Could Israel's leaders ever hope to convince their constituents that closing their capital off from the world and digging in for cover from the ensuing onslaught would be worth it so they can finally fulfill their divine destiny? I don't know, but it's safe to assume that The Temple is a major piece of unfulfilled cultural lore and a big reason why Israel was created as such.

Yes, that would explain so much. What better reason for Bush to act so short-sightedly than the conviction that the long term does not exist? If he expects to bring about Armageddon, I can understand his reluctance to be bothered by the mundane and inconvenient aspects of his position, such as upholding the constitution or giving a damn about a bunch of heathens who are destined to die on the vengeful sword of god and suffer for all of eternity anyway. Helping to bring about the beginning of the end of days would pretty much consume his time and efforts if he felt it was his duty.

Forget the past outcry surrounding the reluctance to elect a catholic president due to his obligation to uphold the teachings of the pope. As twisted and nonsensical as papal edicts are, they are issued by a man with a constituency. He must at least make a case for the justice and morality of his positions. We are now led by a man who answers only to his own idea of the supreme being himself. His fealty is to a being who created morality itself and is therefore above it. Bush's god need not explain itself
because it works in mysterious ways and they are unknown to us and not questionable by us. It surely is not ours to doubt its desires or the actions of those working in its behalf. This god's attributes are revealed in its own historic text to be venal and spiteful. Have you read the bible? I have, and I wouldn't want to have lunch with that god as defined in it, much less spend an eternity with it. Fact is, he comes off as a mean old bastard.

Which brings us to the upcoming election. What wouldn't a man so driven do to bring about his godly mandate? Would he use a reprehensible but unrelated act of terrorism to further his agenda? He might. Would he install a like-minded follower as the designer and builder of the vote counting machines and otherwise try to assure that he has the time to bring his plan about? He might. Might he even encourage or facilitate a spate of new terrorist acts to scare the populace into rallying behind him and his secret cause? I hope not. Might he even, by dint of these acts, declare martial law and cancel elections or, as a last resort, delay the transfer of power to his successor?

This whole paranoid notion of mine could be dispelled or confirmed by an honest answer from the president to one question: "Do you believe that you or any of your actions or the results of your actions have been foretold in the bible?" I'm afraid I'll never know for sure because I long ago gave up on getting honest answers from him to any question at all.

That's where this little conspiracy story ends. If it is a movie treatment, I'll leave it to others to write the second reel.

R. Prym8

[ 15. November 2004, 10:31: Message edited by: Nightlamp ]

Posted by Ophthalmos (# 3256) on :

Well, I read it. Why, I don't know.

Posted by English Johnny (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ophthalmos:
Well, I read it. Why, I don't know.

I tried. I failed.

Posted by BuzzyBee (# 3283) on :

God what a long post. Welcome to the ship Rypshod Prym8. I think we can look forward to some interesting discussions with you but I think we'd be grateful if you were generally a bit more brief.

For the benefit of other readers who can't bear to read all the above, I think the gist is:

George Bush is a fundamentalist christian and perhaps he believes that his actions in the middle east are going to help bring about the end times for the glory of God. Discuss. (apologies if this is a misrepresentation)

My answer - yeah, you may be right. That's what happens when you elect someone to be president of the most powerful country in the world who has NO BRAIN AT ALL [Biased]

Posted by Qestia (# 717) on :

I really think you should turn it into a rip-roaring Dan Brown novel. Just break the whole thing into page long chapters and be sure to define all words of two or more syllables.

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ripshod Prym8:
This is just a story <snip> I do have a lot of time on my hands. <snip> Lately I've been unencumbered by practical thought

So we see.

quote:
Suppose, if you will, a secret, long-established cabal of extreme fundamentalists

No, thank you.

quote:
Have you read the bible?

Gosh, you know, it's been awhile since I picked up any book, but now that you mention it, it does sound familiar.

Posted by irreverentkit (# 4271) on :

Whenever I come across a conspiracy theory, I have this incredible urge to [Snore]

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :

Ah, but you see, irreverentkit, that is all part of the cunning plan.

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by BuzzyBee:
My answer - yeah, you may be right. That's what happens when you elect someone to be president of the most powerful country in the world who has NO BRAIN AT ALL

... elect?

PS: My God, I think that OP was longer than some of my own posts. [Biased]

[ 16. April 2004, 17:57: Message edited by: ChastMastr ]

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

Nah, BuzzyBee, Chast, the last time we did that was when we elected Clinton. Who also claimed a lot of the same religious stances any other Southern president ever did, unless I'm remembering my hallucinations instead of real memory.

I too speed-read the OP.

Maybe it fits Reagan more than Bush...

[ 16. April 2004, 18:00: Message edited by: Janine ]

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
Nah, BuzzyBee, Chast, the last time we did that was when we elected Clinton. Who also claimed a lot of the same religious stances any other Southern president ever did, unless I'm remembering my hallucinations instead of real memory.

Those "religious stances" would be the ones he assumed when Monica was looking up at him with a worshipful gaze, yes? [Devil]

Posted by Sienna (# 5574) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Prophetess:
Ah, but you see, irreverentkit, that is all part of the cunning plan.

Plan? We don't have plans. What you mean is a "cunning list of actionable items." [Devil]

Sienna

Posted by irreverentkit (# 4271) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sienna:

quote:
Originally posted by The Prophetess:
Ah, but you see, irreverentkit, that is all part of the cunning plan.
Plan? We don't have plans. What you mean is a "cunning list of actionable items."

Sienna

Oh good. As long as someone is 'tasked' to execute all the actionables.

Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :

"healthy sense of humour about religion"

Speaking as someone who only fraternizes with religious types in order to make fun of them, let me ask you a question, Ripshod Prym8. Where, exactly, was the funny part?

Perhaps I missed it after my eyes started to bleed.

Posted by Laura. (# 10) on :

quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
"healthy sense of humour about religion"

Speaking as someone who only fraternizes with religious types in order to make fun of them, let me ask you a question, Ripshod Prym8. Where, exactly, was the funny part?

Perhaps I missed it after my eyes started to bleed.

...understandable, really.

Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :

Wow. Words fail me. Pity they didn't fail the OPer. Instead, they seem to have pummeled him to death, and now are coming after the rest of us!

Sieg

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by irreverentkit:
As long as someone is 'tasked' to execute all the actionables.

My head just exploded trying to decode that.

David
hates it when people verb nouns

quote:
Originally posted by Laura.:

quote:
Perhaps I missed it after my eyes started to bleed.
...understandable, really.

Must... not... snicker... at... work... too... loudly... [Killing me]

David
too easily amused

PS:

(RUN NOW)

(NO, REALLY, THIS ONE IS REALLY HORRIBLE)

(DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU)

quote:
Originally posted by Ripshod Prym8:
Note; I originally posted this on the Heaven board, but the thread was locked and suggested that I rethink my post and send it to Hell.

So we can say:

CURSES! FOILED AGAIN! [Killing me]

[Inserts UBB corrections such that even ChastMastr would have difficulty denying the obviously violated chastity.]

[ 16. April 2004, 19:53: Message edited by: RooK ]

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

Oh damn.

I just screwed up my code.

In Hell.

Where RooK is reading it.

I'm DOOMED! [Waterworks]

David
impales self on dangling parenthesis to escape RooK's WratH

Posted by ExAltaWally (# 3245) on :

Have I told any of you how John Anderson controls my thoughts through the use of short wave radio?

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ExAltaWally:
Have I told any of you how John Anderson controls my thoughts through the use of short wave radio?

I hope he doesn't control your appearance as well. One mug like that is enough.

Posted by ExAltaWally (# 3245) on :

No, it's worse than that! He just instructed me to have dinner at Red Lobster. R-e-d L-o-b-s-t-e-r. He knows I don't like Red Lobster!

This is sick! It has to stop!

Stop!

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

Although this is Hell, I think this deserves a politer reply. So here’s my attempt at it.

I've never put much stock in conspiracy theories. Yes, let’s keep it that way. Always prefer the cock-up theory to the conspiracy one. I might buy the idea that Bush is a front man for some (possibly very unpleasant) vested interests. But I don’t buy your version of what the conspiracy is about.

George W. Bush has as yet failed to make clear his motivation for invading and occupying Iraq. I think you mean that he has failed to give a motivation which you find convincing. Oil supply is a fairly important and obvious reason, though not IMHO by any means the only or even the most important.

There is no evidence that Saddam Hussein or any Iraqis posed a threat to any Americans. I speak as an anti-war person myself, but I think you overstate your case here. If you had said ‘no evidence that they were involved in 9/11’, I would agree with you, but a lot of very worthy and honest people believed in the existence of WMD even if they didn’t buy the final ’sexed-up’ version of the British dossier.

I agree that the idea that certain players in this game might be unduly influenced by fundamentalist ideas is not entirely implausible and is certainly quite terrifying. However I think you should leave fundamentalist Judaism out of this; my impression - though I’m a very long way from being an expert - is that fundamentalist Jewish sects don’t have much patience with their government, albeit for different reasons than us liberals (I speak loosely).

And yes I think both the US and the UK governments wouldn’t be above using the terrorist threat to boost their election prospects. But that doesn’t mean they are completely insincere. They are probably also quite aware of the fact that that strategy has its dangers. And as for rigging ballots - well, I think quite a lot has been said about that already in relation to Bush’s election. I don’t know enough to comment.

I could find myself in agreement with the idea that the reasons for invading Iraq were either a) simply wrong-headed or b) well-intentioned but badly thought through (especially in terms of assessing the impact on the Islamic community). I agree that a lot of what is happening is counter-productive, dangerously so, and I could believe that some of the thinking of some of the key players in this area (a minority, I think) may be unhappily influenced by ideas about religious duty which many of us would find mistaken, muddled or downright bloody mad. But that’s about as far down that road as I go. I think the reality is more sad, less mad but probably just as depressing as the picture painted by your theory, RP8.

Posted by GoldenKey (# 1468) on :

Sifting out all the conspiracy theory chaff...as someone who grew up fund., I have sometimes wondered if Bush thinks he's helping to usher in the End Times.

Even if that's *one* of the problems of his administration, I think there are others--lust for oil, greed, ego, empirism, massive incompetence, delusion, elitism,...and just generally not being nice.

But elected??? [Projectile]

Posted by irreverentkit (# 4271) on :

quote:
Originally posted by GoldenKey:
Sifting out all the conspiracy theory chaff...as someone who grew up fund., I have sometimes wondered if Bush thinks he's helping to usher in the End Times.

No, I honestly believe Reagan thought he was helping to usher in the End Times.

I just believe that Bush doesn't think at all.

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by irreverentkit:
No, I honestly believe Reagan thought he was helping to usher in the End Times.

I seem to remember the James Watt gaffe, though this may be more of an urban myth.

(I do so miss that board. Wood! Oh, Wood! Bring it back, would you?)

Posted by GoldenKey (# 1468) on :

Remind me about Watt, please? Was it generally "the environment doesn't matter, 'cause Jesus is coming soon"?

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

That's the one, yes...

Posted by Padingtun Bear (# 3935) on :

Just keep watching for earthquakes bringing down the Dome of the Rock so that the Temple can be rebuilt...

Y'heard it here first, folks!

Sorry - I couldn't read the whole post in heaven, and I'm not going to try again down here. My eyes are tired. It's Friday night and I've had a hard week. If it's important, God can tell me in the morning.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

quote:
Originally posted by irreverentkit:
I just believe that Bush doesn't think at all.

I agree. Believe it or not, there's a whole boatload of us fundamentalists who don't do "End Times" at all. And we certainly don't think there's anything we could do to influence it.

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

Yeah, my end time is all that is important to me...

But I am a Bush supporter anyway.

Hey, anyone got a link to somewhere that will show me how he stands on all that end-times bushwa?

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ripshod Prym8:
Note; I originally posted this on the Heaven board, but the thread was locked and suggested that I rethink my post and send it to Hell.

"Rethink" doesn't mean reformat to get rid of CRs and then just cut and paste the damn thing.

Notice the second syllable: 'think'.

God, I just love it when the newbies plunge directly into Hell, all bright-eyed and clueless; I wonder if this is how Satan feels? [Devil]

Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :

No, I imagine that Satan feels smarter.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

Maybe he was actually just told to "go to hell" and assumed it was an invitation to repost. [Big Grin]

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

I know I'm flighty and have a short attention span, but it was a teensy bit long. Ripshod Prym8, may I suggest that next time you code what you perceive as the humorous bits in boldface. It's easy "[ b ] [ /b ]".

We skimmers would appreciate it.

P.S.: Sorry you're unemployed. Hope you get a job real soon. Idle hands are the devil's tools.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

Yes, he doesn't realize yet how irked me and my cabal can get.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

I don't think he's really from Tennessee. I think he's from Kentucky and ashamed to admit it.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

OMG, I hadn't even noticed his location!!! Maybe he's one of the few who read Gail Kerr's article this week in the TENNESSEAN about the Ship's 11th commandment contest. (Sine would not know about this -- he's much too elitist to read our local rag.)

I'm delighted he's so close -- it will be much easier to get to him. He must be stopped. (Do people from Tennessee say "fundy"? If so, they must all be doing it behind my back. [Waterworks]

)

Wonder if he's been to the Dali museum in St. Pete...

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

He's one of yours? [Eek!]

From the Sine-Tortuf-Grits (age before beauty [Biased]

) group.

Right, that's it. You lot are going.

Well, you are if you ever post something as crap and as long as that.

Chastmastr usually squeaks by with his long posts cause they contain something that'll make me snicker - even if it is only his desperate desire to be as scrupulously fair to as many sides as possible. He has so many feet in different camps that he's got more feet than a millipede [Biased]

And wouldn't you just know it had to be an atheist who posts the long dribble. At least with a christian, they'll claim it's from God and you can tell them to send it back.

In summaryl: I hate most of you, especially Sine, Tortuf and Grits.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

You know, there might be fund-raising potential in that last statement, Sarky.

Step right up, folks. Toss yer pennies, cough up yer hard-earned dollars and find out who Ms. Sarky hates most! There is a nominal fee to place your name in the running. Sine, Tortuf and Grits are disqualified (on account of them being previously crowned) and will assist in the counting of money... er, votes.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
In summaryl: I hate most of you, especially Sine, Tortuf and Grits.

That was very unkind and I'm rather hurt. But putting my own feelings aside, I'm concerned about that coal of bitterness that burns in your soul, my dear. It's probably why you're at home on Friday night.

I'll pray for you. As I learned to do in my aborted spiritual development class.

I just wanna lift up my sister, Sarky, Jeezuus...

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

I would be hurt, but she did put in that "age before beauty" disclaimer.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

She's doing a "divide and conquer" thing. Don't fall for it.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

Sneaky British b***h.

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

*snicker*

And Sine? Just remember who taught you that prayer. Just remember who gave you the advice surrounding it. Just remember who you pay monthly by direct debit to ensure that your little secret doesn't get out.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

You're with the FBI! My God.

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

When I said that I knew where you lived - I actually meant it [Biased]

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :

I'm still trying to figure out how foil hats fit into the picture. Let me guess---they block the radio waves with which the governor of Tennessee is trying to control one's thoughts?

Posted by duchess of delights (# 2764) on :

*cough* *cough* Attention bitches!

You are digressing from the sacred OP!

Now, to get back to the subject matter...

[music plays in background, America's Theme Song]
I love Dubya and his gang, I think he rocks and I believe the bible is true so there Mr. Atheist. Bet that burned you! Wow, you can't sleep at night! Neither can I...knowing that you feel they way you do about us fundys..boo hoo.

Now please tell me why I should care what you think. And make it short and pithy, I haven't got all day and a short attention span. After all, I am a INFJ Meyer's-Briggs™ personality test. Thx you flaming Liberal. Kiss my facist @$$.

[edited to add some flavor]

[ 17. April 2004, 01:08: Message edited by: duchess of delights ]

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

Great duchess. Dubya, bible thumping, Myers-Briggs, "liberal" as an insult, and your ass - all that post needed was your Magic 8 ball, and I'd have been forced to flame you outta Hell, and into TnT (or something).

You're edging up my most-hated list (Sine is still on top - which must be something he rarely hears [Snigger]

)

Posted by Michal (# 5337) on :

quote:
quote:Originally posted by Ophthalmos:
Well, I read it. Why, I don't know.

English Johnny replied: I tried. I failed.

Me too. Was there a punchline?

Posted by Ultraspike (# 268) on :

Yes, we all know by now that George W. is the antichrist. [Big Grin]

As for this Armageddon scenario, those fundies and antifundies have all been reading too many Left Behind novels. But I think the OPer must also come from a very shallow gene pool, regardless of his native state. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by duchess of delights (# 2764) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
Great duchess. Dubya, bible thumping, Myers-Briggs, "liberal" as an insult, and your ass - all that post needed was your Magic 8 ball, and I'd have been forced to flame you outta Hell, and into TnT (or something).

You're edging up my most-hated list (Sine is still on top - which must be something he rarely hears )

Your declaration of hate for my MG8 ball butt makes me proud you limey wench. I wear it like a medal. Sign might get excited if you keep flaming his gentle ash heap. Go easy now.

Posted by ExAltaWally (# 3245) on :

Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water

That's right, SEE you meat puppets at the Rapture!

HA HA HAHA HAHA HA

Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :

Gotta hand it to duchess, she does manage to make Dubya seem not quite so amazingly stupid.

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Prophetess:
I'm still trying to figure out how foil hats fit into the picture. Let me guess---they block the radio waves with which the governor of Tennessee is trying to control one's thoughts?

I think that, in your haste to roast an unwary newbie, you and several others have missed a note of self-mockery here. I suggest that RipshodPrym8 knows that his theory is just a tad off-the-wall and is, in fact, stating the most extreme version of a paranoia that many of us, in a milder form, may share (as Buzzy Bee and others have indicated). [Paranoid]

[ 17. April 2004, 09:29: Message edited by: Qlib ]

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

Originally posted by Sarky in one of the rare moments when her keeper accidentally lets her close to a computer,

quote:
In summaryl: I hate most of you, especially Sine, Tortuf and Grits.

Had I deigned to read anything in Hell lately I would have read this little jewel before now. However, I spend my time with the grownups in Purgatory. [Razz]

So there.

Posted by linzc (# 2914) on :

Awww crap! I've got about 4 hours of work to do before tomorrow's service, it's 20 to midnight and I just wasted 5 minutes reading that drivel. I want my minutes back...

Posted by irreverentkit (# 4271) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
Yeah, my end time is all that is important to me...

But I am a Bush supporter anyway.

Hey, anyone got a link to somewhere that will show me how he stands on all that end-times bushwa?

Janine!!! And here I thought you were perfect in all ways. All but this, alas.

I know Bush's current "pastor" (Episcopal priest). The senior Bushes are typical mid-stream Episcopalians. George W. is a Methodist (I think because of Laura), but in town he attends the Episcopal church. While he may have broad support among evangelicals/fundamentalists, he is much more a mainstream Protestant.

Ashcroft, now he's an entirely different piece of work!

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
(Sine is still on top - which must be something he rarely hears)

I cannot let this vile canard pass unchallenged. Except it's true. Otherwise I'd challenge it.

I do, however, hope your tent collapses on you next time you're at Camp Colditz. In the middle of the night. In a big rainstorm.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ultraspike:
I think the OPer must also come from a very shallow gene pool, regardless of his native state.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve redneck murders?

There are no dental records, and all the DNA evidence is the same.

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Do you know why it's so hard to solve redneck murders?

There are no dental records, and all the DNA evidence is the same.

Ba-dum-bum-CHING!

Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:

quote:
Originally posted by Ultraspike:
I think the OPer must also come from a very shallow gene pool, regardless of his native state.
Do you know why it's so hard to solve redneck murders?

There are no dental records, and all the DNA evidence is the same.

This thread was worth reading after all! [Killing me]

Sieg

Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :

ya' know duchess, people like ultraspike occationally worry me: witty, urbane, rational, conservetive bush-supporters that you can still have a decent conversation with. it shakes my pre-concieved notions, and rattles my world.

then i read something from you, and alls well with my world again. [Big Grin]

Posted by JohnBoot (# 3566) on :

Mr. Sarkycow is a she?

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

quote:
Originally posted by JohnBoot:
Mr. Sarkycow is a she?

Sine, why don't you take this one? You know you want to.

Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Grits:
Maybe he was actually just told to "go to hell" and assumed it was an invitation to repost.

Easy mistake to make, for such a hellish post.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Grits:

quote:
Originally posted by JohnBoot:
Mr. Sarkycow is a she?
Sine, why don't you take this one? You know you want to.

Johnny has a lot of gender-recognition problems. He thought Ultra was a "he" also. Apparently anybody who's aggressive must be a man. Guess he doesn't get out much.

(Actually, according to Opthalmos, Sarky, until very recently, was a lesbian. Surprising, but apparently he has secret sources of information. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't wear jockey shorts.)

Posted by duchess of delights (# 2764) on :

RooK& NicholeW: It ain't rocket science to exclaim geninue joy at the selection of leader I have. It also helps me to sleep at night, knowing both of you clueless people live far away from me ..faaarrr from Silicon Valley. Bite me. I say that dripping with Christian Charity.

[edited cuz I made up my own nicknames for them & then changed my mind to be cruel to be kind]

[ 17. April 2004, 17:46: Message edited by: duchess of delights ]

Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on :

quote:
Originally posted by duchess of delights:
RooK& NicholeW: It ain't rocket science to exclaim geninue joy at the selection of leader I have. It also helps me to sleep at night, knowing both of you clueless people live far away from me ..faaarrr from Silicon Valley. Bite me. I say that dripping with Christian Charity.

Governor Ah-nold?

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

You know, duchess, Bush & Co. steal from your pockets for the benefit of the rich and corporations while pandering to your social and religous prejudices. They can't really change society by governmental decree, yet they get people like you to vote for them while screwing you and yours.

It's incredible, really. One would have to laugh, if it wasn't so pathetic.

Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :

bite you? sorry duchess (and please note, _i_ spelled _your_ name correctly, sorry you aren't capable of the same courtasy towards me, not that i'm greatly surprised) but you are very much _not_ my type. in any way.

Posted by JohnBoot (# 3566) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Johnny has a lot of gender-recognition problems. He thought Ultra was a "he" also. Apparently anybody who's aggressive must be a man. Guess he doesn't get out much.

(Actually, according to Opthalmos, Sarky, until very recently, was a lesbian. Surprising, but apparently he has secret sources of information. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't wear jockey shorts.)

Um, too much information.

Posted by duchess of delights (# 2764) on :

quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
bite you? sorry duchess (and please note, _i_ spelled _your_ name correctly, sorry you aren't capable of the same courtasy towards me, not that i'm greatly surprised) but you are very much _not_ my type. in any way.

After a few tries you did nicolemrw and I appreciate it. Thanks for for setting me straight, I can sleep better at night now.

Posted by duchess of delights (# 2764) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
You know, duchess, Bush & Co. steal from your pockets for the benefit of the rich and corporations while pandering to your social and religous prejudices. They can't really change society by governmental decree, yet they get people like you to vote for them while screwing you and yours.

It's incredible, really. One would have to laugh, if it wasn't so pathetic.

You know, I felt the same way about Clinton & Co. sadly and also about my Democrat Mayor in San Jose. Especially when it comes to teachers in my Valley and housing for the poor.

Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :

yes, i'm sure that the disapointment's easier to deal with than the uncertainty. [Snigger]

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

duchess, does it not bother you that a greater and greater proportion of the nation's wealth is being held by a smaller and smaller percentage of the population?

That fifteen million dollar co-ops on Park or Fifth are being snapped up in under a month? That the Ritz-Carlton, Central Park South, is offering condos at twenty-four million? And expects to easily sell them?

Do you really not undertand that the Republican Party is taking advantage of your frontier, American Protestant prejudices to get you to vote for them?

It makes me sick to my stomach. It really does.

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :

Sine, darling, go have a drink and then polish some silver. You're starting to get all Purgatorial on us, and, well, that's just not done here in Hell.

Posted by English Johnny (# 5713) on :

Apropos previous umpteen posts (except immediately prior) and a fair few threads hereabouts.

Is it just me or will Hell be full of American politics? I thought ours were bad.

At last, a reason to be saved. Once people are told about that they will be falling over themselves to get to church, finda minister, you name it.

[Yipee]

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

I'm sorry. Middle-class people who vote for Bush make me angrier than a guest at my table using the wrong fork. It makes me crazy.

I do need to go check the boullion spoons, however. Haven't used them for a while. And my sister is coming for Sunday dinner tomorrow. I'll get to hear how hateful my brothers have been to her. We still haven't determined who stole my mother's engagement ring. Everyone denies it.

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :

quote:
Originally posted by duchess of delights:
It ain't rocket science to exclaim geninue joy at the selection of leader I have.

I'm still trying to get over this statement. It's one thing to vote for the guy, but to feel "genuine joy"? Sounds like someone's been doing some genuine drugs.

Posted by English Johnny (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Prophetess:

quote:
Originally posted by duchess of delights:
It ain't rocket science to exclaim geninue joy at the selection of leader I have.
I'm still trying to get over this statement. It's one thing to vote for the guy, but to feel "genuine joy"? Sounds like someone's been doing some genuine drugs.

Well, there is such a thing as "Fake Joy", but it should probably be discussed on TnT.

[ 17. April 2004, 20:17: Message edited by: English Johnny ]

Posted by Níghtlamp (# 266) on :

That certainly was one of the dullest OP's ever in Hell.

Posted by chive (# 208) on :

You read it? I'm impressed. I'm going to print it off in an attempt to cure my insomnia.

Posted by frater-frag (# 2184) on :

Odd... I have always considered Foil to be the kind of practise weapon that I teach four times a week... [Two face]

Foil Fencing...

Picture

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
They can't really change society by governmental decree, yet they get people like you to vote for them while screwing you and yours.

Still, if they're screwing her, then at least she's getting some.... Unlike poor ol' Sine [Biased]

*snicker*

btw Sine, it doesn't rain at Camp Colditz. There the sun always shines - even in the middle of the night. Or was that just the searchlight? [Biased]

Oh, and Hoppy probably thought I was a lesbian because I turned him down at Greenbelt. Or didn't even talk to him. Or something equally as terrible.

Posted by duchess of delights (# 2764) on :

Sign, I can't get into it now cuz I have given the 411 on my views too many times to count in here. I hate to appear to be reasonable or well-read, therefore I stay in hell and just trade insults. It's better that way for all of us.

If I breathe one word of why I vote the way I do, I get a carload of serious responses that force me to think and argue. I ain't down with that right now, I would rather finish buying some plants for my patio darlin'.

[one word]

[ 18. April 2004, 01:01: Message edited by: duchess of delights ]

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
(Actually, according to Opthalmos, Sarky, until very recently, was a lesbian. Surprising, but apparently he has secret sources of information. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't wear jockey shorts.)

Note to Sine: Having re-read the thread, it has become clear to me that Hoppy thought you were a lesbian female (as opposed to a lesbian male, one wonders?) until last week. See, Hoppy says "Did you know that I thought you were a lesbian female until last week, Mr. Ship's Bastard?"

Never mind Sine. I'm sure that your essential maleness finally shone through. Just as soon as you stopped talking about icecream forks. And losing fights to the girls (i.e. Grits and me).

Sarkycow

Posted by Kenwritez (# 3238) on :

quote:
Originally posted by GoldenKey:
Even if that's *one* of the problems of his administration, I think there are others--lust for oil, greed, ego, empirism, massive incompetence, delusion, elitism,...and just generally not being nice.

You mean his administration is just like every other? [Eek!]

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
if they're screwing her, then at least she's getting some.... Unlike poor ol' Sine

If poor ol' Sine isn't getting screwed, it's because he frequently finds himself in bizarre situations where the instinct for self-preservation kicks in and he thinks to himself "Self, this is way too weird. Get the hell out of here before you have to make an emergency call to Tortuf."

So far I've managed to avoid appearing on a police report.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
I'm sure that your essential maleness finally shone through. Just as soon as you stopped talking about icecream forks. And losing fights to the girls (i.e. Grits and me).

You know, hon, one of the few advantages of middle age is that I could give a flying fuck about "essential maleness". I wash my "essential maleness" whenever I take a shower. Other than that, I don't worry about it, and just try to be me, as pitiful as that sometimes is, ice cream forks and all.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

I think it's time you two lesbians kissed and made up.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

No. I won't do it. She always wants to be on top. And she won't share the strap-on.

Posted by nobody calls me mezzo (# 4836) on :

Won't share the strap on? What in the world do you do with a strap on if you're not prepared to share it? I can't imagine how that would be any fun at all.

Posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard (# 368) on :

Do any of you know what picture Reagan had on his desk whenever he spoke to Sharon?

Posted by Kenwritez (# 3238) on :

A pic of Sarky and Sine wearing a strap-on? [Eek!]

Posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard (# 368) on :

Of a little Palestian girl mutilated in an Israeli air raid.

Posted by Níghtlamp (# 266) on :

quote:
Originally posted by chive:
You read it? I'm impressed. I'm going to print it off in an attempt to cure my insomnia.

OK I plead guilty for only reading a few lines but i got the general drift and was amazed that anyone would think it was interesting.

Posted by Papio. (# 4201) on :

That's still impressive though Nightlamp. I gave up after about 4 words.

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :

OK, 'fess up, did anyone actually read every single word of the OP?

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

<Ahem>...uh, so which of the Hell Hosts actually read every word, as required? [Biased]

(Or did you ask a Purgatory Host to do it? After all, they're used to long boring posts.)

[Responding to Nightlamp on the previous page.]

[ 18. April 2004, 15:46: Message edited by: Sine Nomine ]

Posted by Níghtlamp (# 266) on :

Someone doesn't keep up to date with 'Hosts and administrators - notice of shore leave' in the styx.
I don't read most stuff posted whilst I am away but I read all the most recent OP's but my brain couldn't cope with this one.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

[Hot and Hormonal]

Actually I did read that. Unfortunately I've slept since then.

Posted by chive (# 208) on :

I read it last night and miraculously fell asleep almost instantly. Hallelujah.

Unfortunately I had a terrible dream about minutes and hours of my life being sucked into a vacuum cleaner of conspiracy which was chasing me, being pushed by no other then the great W himself.

OK I'm lying but GOD was that dull

Posted by Royal Peculiar (# 3159) on :

I read it in Heaven in its orignal incarnation. I initially thought "Here's a troll trying to wind up Evangelicals, Roman Catholics and Republicans all at once." I read the 1st para in Hell and decided that he may be sincere in as much as he really wants a humerous discussion of something or other. I did not bother to read the rest of the OP.

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :

Whatever he meant, it appears to be a hit-and-run, flash-in-the-pan newbie. [Snore]

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

No shortage of those.

Posted by Trevor (# 3644) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
OK, 'fess up, did anyone actually read every single word of the OP?

I did, but the only reason I got through it that I used to browse Crank Dot Net a lot and I got used to stuff like that. But that OP was just off-the-shelf uninspired paranoia. No style at all.

Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :

I read the whole OP, word for word. I intend to exact revenge if an opportunity ever presents itself.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

We won't stand in your way, RooK.

Posted by .Moschops. (# 3034) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
A pic of Sarky and Sine wearing a strap-on?

Why would Sine need a strap-on? Oh, right the lesbian thing. I just can't keep up around here. Unlike the strap-on, presumably.

I read the whole OP. I'll take issue with this bit:

quote:
Originally posted by Ripshod Prym8
This is just a story. It's entertainment

(Italics mine).

Not unless the definition of entertainment has changed radically. I may sue for misrepresentation.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

Maybe he meant that the OP would make for an entertaining thread, which it has. I say "hats off!" to Rimshot8675309 (or whatever it was).

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
OK, 'fess up, did anyone actually read every single word of the OP?

I did. I knew Nightlamp was on shoreleave, and I figured jlg was too flaky to have read it.

I figured RooK would read it simply to try and find some entertainment, and when he couldn't find any, would wander off to pick on Hoppy or something.

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by nobody calls me mezzo:
Won't share the strap on? What in the world do you do with a strap on if you're not prepared to share it? I can't imagine how that would be any fun at all.

He means I won't let him take a turn with it [Biased]

All he does is caress it though, because it's bigger than IbP's [Biased]

Posted by Amazing Grace* (# 4754) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
A pic of Sarky and Sine wearing a strap-on?

Just think of the fundraising possibilities in that!

(Some will pay to see it ... and some will pay to banish that image from their minds. [Snigger]

)

Charlotte

Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on :

quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
I read the whole OP, word for word. I intend to exact revenge if an opportunity ever presents itself.

No wonder you didn't have time to talk today when I was in the Rose City. Reading that OP would suck, or at least suck a lot of time down the toilet.

Posted by Zeke (# 3271) on :

I actually read it all. [Eek!]

I kept thinking it was going to start coming together and making a point, and it kept not doing it. Pretty conventional stuff, actually. He seems to think it was outrageously irreverent and shocking. Probably cut and pasted it from the original site it was on. I also have noticed that he does not seem disposed to return.

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amazing Grace*:

quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
A pic of Sarky and Sine wearing a strap-on?
Just think of the fundraising possibilities in that!

(Some will pay to see it ... and some will pay to banish that image from their minds. )

Yes please! What will it take and how much will it cost?

Posted by IntellectByProxy (# 3185) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:

quote:
Originally posted by nobody calls me mezzo:
Won't share the strap on?
All he does is caress it, because it's bigger than IbP's

By itself that is nothing to boast about.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
I hate most of you, especially Sine, Tortuf and Grits.

Following Twilight's example, I thought I'd look up an old thread and sift through it searching for offense.

I'm hurt and offended. OK, so it was in April. I'm still hurt and offended.

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

Sine, we must bravely clad ourselves in the armor of Self Righteousness™ and resist the temptation to take offense from the rabid utterances of our social (and dare I say, in other ways as well) inferiors.

Remember, we are from the Buckle of the Bible Belt and we must set an example that other, lesser, Christians can follow.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
...resist the temptation to take offense from the rabid utterances of our social inferiors.

Thank-you, Tortuf. Thanks to you and my friend Jeezus, I have just given up that resentment. I mean, after all, a) the poor girl can't even get to work on time, and b) her idea of a "vacation" is pitching a tent in a muddy field.

Bless her heart.

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

I dunno Sine. Going to some overcrowded, muddy, soggy, fly and mosquito infested field to be lectured to ad nauseum while spending your nights in a tent sounds wonderful to me. Why wouldn't you like it as a vacation?

I understand they at least got to drink. Don't they?

Posted by Jajehu (# 6196) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ripshod Prym8:
<snip> The pivotal factor may be religion. Bear in mind that your president believes that the universe was created, pretty much as we see it now, just six to ten thousand years ago. He believes that every creature alive today is a direct descendant of those that rode out a storm in a small boat three thousand years ago. <snip>

If I could remember where I'd read the tidbit below, I'd post a link -- but I don't, so I can't.

Ripshod, The Duh-bya is alleged to be a card-carrying member of the United Methodist Church -- yes, the self-same entity which sponsors Church of Fools. The UMC does not officially, literally hold the beliefs you've outlined above.

Do you know for a fact that George II does? Can you quote from or link to a source?

And yes, I'm afraid that's as far as I read.

[ 27. August 2004, 12:34: Message edited by: Jajehu ]

Posted by The Happy Coot with knobs on (# 220) on :

I feel so ripped off. I don't even remember this thread. And I thought it was current (even going so far as sending farewell greetings to Sine) And I missed the bit about crypto-lesbianism and Sarky and Sine's strap-on action.

About the OP. Was it actually meant to be humorous? Like, you know, outre? Taking the mick of real conspiracy theorists? Coot attention span too lacking to read past the 1st sentence (except where unusual sexual practices are mentioned).

PS. Was Oppy involved in Sarky's renunciation of lesbianism? Or was it Sine?

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

I would have sworn on a stack of steel-plated Bibles that I had never seen this thread, but unfortunately I made the novice error of posting to it. Twice.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest that primate's strap-on.

Posted by ORGANMEISTER (# 6621) on :

......just coming in on this thread. That was the longest post I've ever seen! By the way, the Dome of the Rock is NOT Mohammed's birth place. It is believed by Muslims to be the place where he was assumed into Heaven. I think it is also believed by Jews to be the place where Abraham was instructed to sacrifice his son Isaac..........In any event, I've heard the argument that Bush and his buddies are trying to bring on the End Times. I've heard this argument usually in conjunction with Pat Robertson and ilk. I agree, someone needs to alert Dan Brown so he can crank out another blockbuster.
I think the explanation for Bush's actions is much simpler. Remember now, he's not a very bright man. He honestly believed the neocon propaganda he was getting from Wolfowicz, Rumsfeld, et al, that deposing Sadaam and establishing a western style democracy in Iraq would be a snap. Somehow this was going to help the rest of the Middle East establish democracies, end the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians, and disregard the last 1,500 yrs of history. Also, I can't help but think W was motivated in part by a desire for revenge since Sadaam attempted to have Bush, Sr. assasinated during a visit to Kuwait. It's all very distress and I don't think I can endure another four years of this nonsense.

Posted by James Mc (# 3414) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ORGANMEISTER:
......just coming in on this thread. That was the longest post I've ever seen!

You might want to take a peek here - I believe it may be longer.

Sine, I'm upset that you see fit to dredge this thread up after so long . It was not fantastic first time round and it has not aged well. Unfortunately, incipient senility means I did not realize that I had read it before until the last page, so I have wasted a good 20 minutes of my life. [Waterworks]

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
OK, so it was in April. I'm still hurt and offended.

People, I cannot help it if you choose not to read. It's not like you weren't warned.

Posted by barrea (# 3211) on :

Sarky you hate so many people, do you actualy love anybody? Forgive me for butting in.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

Sine, thanks for resurrecting this monstrosi... I mean, masterpiece. I am still a little fearful that the OP may be in our immediate vicinity, however.

I never believed for one minute that Sarky hated me, then or now. In fact, I'm hurt that you would bring it up again, just to pour salt in wounds that may still be open and sore.

That's low of you, Sine. Low, I say.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Grits, I myself was wondering why you are so damned special that YOU get to be particularly hated by Sarky.Who the hell are you, the Queen of the May?

( [Biased]

just in case)

Posted by KenWritez (# 3238) on :

It's a chick thing: Sarky covets Grits' kitchen counters.

quote:
Posted by Barrea:
Sarky you hate so many people, do you actualy love anybody? Forgive me for butting in.

Barrea, please allow me to point you toward the dictionary definitions of "sarcasm" and "irony." Hell is pretty rich with these, and you'll find it much easier to navigate through when you realize this.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Spoilsport.

Posted by Glenn (# 6517) on :

I did not read the OP. Quickly scrolling down, I muttered, "holy shit that's long". I noted that there were 3 pages on the thread and figured that there might be a slaughter in progress. I came in to see if there was any meat left on the bone. But don't worry, Ripshod, I'll distract them while you flee.

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

Um, Glenn, Ripshod has been gone since April.

Hmmm. This reminds me of a Cheech and Chong skit where they're dogs....

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

Is Tommy out of the slammer yet?

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

Kelly, Sarky apparently hates me merely for my geographical and social proximity to Sine, whom she truly despises. It's just another example of the ol' Trickle Down™ theory.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with my being a high-maintainence conservative fundamentalist Republican bourgeois hausfrau.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Queen of the May, in other words. I knew it.

Posted by The Happy Coot with knobs on (# 220) on :

I don't read usually read the political threads, and find conservative politics fairly spewy, but I need to know about this:

quote:
ORGANMEISTER:
I think the explanation for Bush's actions is much simpler. Remember now, he's not a very bright man.

Everyone keeps alluding to Bush being 'not very bright', how is this possible? For a start you have to be *very bright* to be accepted into the armed forces as a pilot!

Ok, he sounds a bit slow-talking, but you have to be very clever - a genius level IQ even - and certainly politically cunning, to get to be the leader of a country! Look at John Howard - loathsome though he is - he is phenomenally intelligent and shrewd. Same with Blair. All the top Oz leaders and many politicians have been lawyers/barristers. You have to be clever to do that! (lol, That's a Sine suck-suck to the Ship's lawyers)

Is there any material evidence - skool grades, IQ tests that show that he is not much better than average? Which is still not 'not very bright', after all!

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Grits:
a high-maintainence conservative fundamentalist Republican bourgeois hausfrau.

Oh look, everybody! Grits' new signature.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Is Tommy out of the slammer yet?

I heard it was rehab, not the slammer.

Posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon (# 4544) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Happy Coot with knobs on:
I don't read usually read the political threads, and find conservative politics fairly spewy, but I need to know about this:

quote:
ORGANMEISTER:
I think the explanation for Bush's actions is much simpler. Remember now, he's not a very bright man.
Everyone keeps alluding to Bush being 'not very bright', how is this possible? For a start you have to be *very bright* to be accepted into the armed forces as a pilot!

Ok, he sounds a bit slow-talking, but you have to be very clever - a genius level IQ even - and certainly politically cunning, to get to be the leader of a country! Look at John Howard - loathsome though he is - he is phenomenally intelligent and shrewd. Same with Blair. All the top Oz leaders and many politicians have been lawyers/barristers. You have to be clever to do that! (lol, That's a Sine suck-suck to the Ship's lawyers)

Is there any material evidence - skool grades, IQ tests that show that he is not much better than average? Which is still not 'not very bright', after all!

Here's a fairly even-handed article on Bush the Younger's intellect and core values in college. Basically it says he had acute social talents but not much in the usual way of academic ones.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :

Interesting article, Lyda Rose. Thanks. (I do have a tendency to demonize Dubya. Good to remember He's A Person Too, much as I hate to admit it.)

Posted by Ronist (# 5343) on :

In modern politics and so many other human endeavours, in reaching a position of high authority a winsome smile will take you much further than an especially sharp mind.

Posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon (# 4544) on :

I'm not sure that I think that affability and the ability to remember the names of 200 frat pledges are indicators of good presidential material but they probably are of an ability to to get elected.

I remember that such talents were beyond the natural abilities of Nixon so he compensated by having a 3X5" card with pertinent details on anyone he met that he thought he'd meet again. So before a gathering he'd get out his cards on the expected attendants and painstakingly memorize them in order to have something to say individually to each.

Dubya would probably have a laugh about that. He probably knows off the top of his head the names of the kids of all his supporters, political opponents, and some heads of state. Not to mention their spouses' names and how the person's businesses are doing. Especially how business is doing.

[ 28. August 2004, 16:57: Message edited by: Lyda Rose of Sharon ]

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Is Tommy out of the slammer yet?
I heard it was rehab, not the slammer.

Tommy Chong went to the slammer over something minor about paraphernalia. I think he is out.

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Is Tommy out of the slammer yet?
I heard it was rehab, not the slammer.
Tommy Chong went to the slammer over something minor about paraphernalia. I think he is out.

Oh. I thought you meant a different Tommy.

(See me, feel me, touch me,...)

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

( [Killing me]

same here, actually.)

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
Dubya would probably have a laugh about that. He probably knows off the top of his head the names of the kids of all his supporters, political opponents, and some heads of state. Not to mention their spouses' names and how the person's businesses are doing. Especially how business is doing.

He'll know the names of the pets of the people who have donated a lot of money, but he won't know the names of certain heads of state. As I recall, it was Musharraf of Pakistan he couldn't remember when he was running in 2000.

Posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon (# 4544) on :

Yeah, but he might have known Musharraf's wife's name. [Biased]

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by barrea:
Sarky you hate so many people, do you actualy love anybody? Forgive me for butting in.

You are forgiven my child; but don't make a habit of it.

Now, as to your question, I suggest that you go away and learn the dictionary definitions of sarcasm and irony. Then you may come back and repeat your question if:

It still seems a reasonable question in light of both what you have learnt, and also where in the thread I made my comments,
and
You can find a good reason as to it being any of your damn business.

Alternatively, crawl back under your rock.

Cordially,
Sarkycow

Posted by KenWritez (# 3238) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
I remember that such talents were beyond the natural abilities of Nixon so he compensated by having a 3X5" card with pertinent details on anyone he met that he thought he'd meet again. So before a gathering he'd get out his cards on the expected attendants and painstakingly memorize them in order to have something to say individually to each.

IIRC, every politician, no matter the party, has a "tickler file" of his contacts that he reviews prior to meeting them, unless he's got a photographic memory or has committed the details of those contact(s) to memory. (He also may have an aide whisper the details to him.)

Given the enormous number of contacts a successful politican has to have--and recall--a tickler file is a practical solution.

Personal contacts are the fuel of politics, and no politician worth a dime will risk offending a contact unless he's positive he doesn't need it.

Posted by HangerQueen (# 6914) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Grits:
Sneaky British b***h.

What's a b***h? I've been scanning through my mental list of imprecations, obsenities and anathematizations but haven't come up with anything.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Sarky, I stil have the feeling that you hate some shipmates more than me. Therefore, I shall not feel special to you, and shall go out and be juvenile delinquent. Hope you are happy.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by HangerQueen:

quote:
Originally posted by Grits:
Sneaky British b***h.
What's a b***h? I've been scanning through my mental list of imprecations, obsenities and anathematizations but haven't come up with anything.

The letters i, t and c may help you. Use them wisely.

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Sarky, I stil have the feeling that you hate some shipmates more than me. Therefore, I shall not feel special to you, and shall go out and be juvenile delinquent. Hope you are happy.

Y'know, you're moving swiftly up my list of people I specially hate.

In fact, I might have to start holding two lists - people I specially hate, and people I really really hate with a fiery passion that burns deep within my soul.

*grin*

Posted by .Mad Geo (# 2939) on :

quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
IIRC, every politician, no matter the party, has a "tickler file" of his contacts that he reviews prior to meeting them....

I wonder if Monica was in Clinton's "tickler" file?

Or is that a "fluffer" file?

Just wanting to establish the proper nomenclature.

Posted by KenWritez (# 3238) on :

I believe Pres. Clinton had a third list, a "I'm Dead if Hillary Finds Out" list. I suspect our ex-pres. needed no fluffing; he struck me as the "good to go" guy.

Posted by TomOfTarsus (# 3053) on :

Someone was wondering where the title of this misbegotten thread came from. It is here.

The great thing about this is it got rated "Cranky" by crank.net, when it's actually a spoof.

Blessings,

a not very hell-ish Tom
(who actually read the OP, hoping...)

Posted by ORGANMEISTER (# 6621) on :

Tom, thanks for the link. What a hoot! Should we be praying for the Steelers and the Penquins this season. [Votive]

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