Thread: Hell: Today I consign to hell--II Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
The original TICTH thread was getting too long, so it has been archived.

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to consign to hell right now, because after yesterday, they're all dead.

But at least I have begun the thread.

[ 10. March 2003, 01:44: Message edited by: Erin ]
 
Posted by spigot (# 253) on :
 
T.I.C.T.H. Mobile Phones used in public places where you should be able to relax.
Trains I can understand. If your trying to meet up with someone then fair enough. But cinemas, theatres etc. Today I was sat in a pub happily listening to someone give a talk on Derby history. Cue unnecessary loud mobile ring tone from table behind followed by fifteen minutes of talk.

I've had it up to here but so far have resisted complaining to anyone's face about it. So if any offenders are reading this then will you kindly SHUT THE F**K UP!

BURN! BURN! AH HA HA HA

p.s. goto NEWS FOR MOBILE PHONE USERS for more details.
 


Posted by Qestia (# 717) on :
 
What on earth do you mean, "trains you can understand." Every train conversation I've heard is always, "Hi, I'm on the train, I'll be home soon. Goodbye." Some people, I'm not making this up...update their friends with EVERY STOP! "Hi, I'm at Park Street, on the train. Oh, now I'm at Downtown Crossing" except those stops are underground so they CAN'T call on their little phones there...but fortunately They're planning on installing special lines so soon you will be able to phone from anywhere on the subway! Hooray!

However I would like to reserve a special place in Hell (if I'm allowed) for people who phone from stores, i.e. video stores, "Hi, I'm at the video store, what do you want to see? Well, they have [reads off the names of EVERY title].
 


Posted by strathclydezero (# 180) on :
 
TICTH - people who can't stand me using my mobile phone - and people who don't have one.
 
Posted by strathclydezero (# 180) on :
 
TICTH - people who refer to the Newcastle area as 'the north east' - when in fact it is 'the north east of england'.
 
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :
 
TICTH people who offended by the fact that I do not have a mobile phone. Why should they dictate how I live my life?
 
Posted by KevT (# 66) on :
 
Today I consign to Hell the person that stole my coldframe from the garden a couple of days back (as well as helping himself to stuff from all my neighbours gardens). May his garden be invaded by a plague of slugs leaving it a wasteland of slime-trails.


KevT.
 


Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
TICTH the new breed of mobile phone users: the ones who let the phone ring, check the caller ID, and then don't answer the phone. If you're NOT going to answer it, turn the f'ing thing OFF.

I don't have a mobile phone, I will never have a mobile phone. As far as I can tell, the only people who are important enough to own a mobile phone are transplant, cardiac and neurosurgeons. If people need to talk to me that badly, they can send a helicopter to find me.
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
If people need to talk to me that badly, they can send a helicopter to find me.


Brilliant!

bb
 


Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
quote:
If you're NOT going to answer it, turn the f'ing thing OFF.

On the previous TICTH thread, someone recommended yelling out "If it's for me, tell him I'm busy."

And I think Strathclydezero was just being cheeky...
 


Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :
 
I'm sure you're right Belisarius. I take no offence from SCZ.

I am regularly annoyed however by the people I encounter who take it as a personal insult that I do not possess a mobile phone. As if I would spend my life wondering how to inconvenience them! ("I know! I'll deliberately not live at everYone's beck and call! That'll really get up their noses!")
 


Posted by Professor Yaffle (# 525) on :
 
Ham n' Eggs wrote:

quote:
I am regularly annoyed however by the people I encounter who take it as a personal insult that I do not possess a mobile phone. As if I would spend my life wondering how to inconvenience them! ("I know! I'll deliberately not live at everYone's beck and call! That'll really get up their noses!")

The people who annoy me are the ones who assume because I have a mobile phone I am available twenty four hours a day. This point is insufficiently appreciated by those people who say things like: "What's the point of having a mobile phone if you don't leave it switched on ?" To which the only adequate reply is "You are confusing me with the emergency services".

[fixed UBB code]

[ 24 August 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]
 


Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
Ditto--I use my CP an average of about 5 minutes a month, and usually just to ring twice to indicate (after a night on the town) that I'm on a train home. In the 2-3 years I've owned a CP, I've received two calls (which I knew were coming in advance).

What did all those yakkers do 10 years ago?
 


Posted by frin (# 9) on :
 
TICTH the torrents of rain which soaked me before I arrived at my benifits tribunal. And vendors of overpriced soup.

'frin
 


Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
TICTH people who make fun of saints, of hagiography, or of the concept of people being made perfect through God's grace. Including and especially Howard Ingham.

Alex
 


Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
quote:
Including and especially Howard Ingham.

'Scuse me? Is this a joke?

Erin
(in full administrator mode)
 


Posted by shadow-lover (# 157) on :
 
TICTH all those who think that someone who has failed to "accept God" in their life is somehow at fault just because some bloke in a black dress has told them there is a God out there.

And while I'm at it, I want anyone who thinks that commiting suicide is a ticket to Hell in a handbasket down here too.

Oh, yes, and anyone who has the immense gall to tell me that I am lying when they don't like my life not fitting in to their nice, comfortable theology.

The Shadow Lover


& &
& !!! &
&c. .c&
0
^
 


Posted by Dyfrig (# 15) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by frin:
TICTH the torrents of rain which soaked me before I arrived at my benifits tribunal. And vendors of overpriced soup.

'frin


Why were they selling soup out in the rain?
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
People who shout into their mobiles in a language I don't understand. I recently endured some girl gabbling loudly into her mobile in Polish virtually non-stop for 45 minutes. As the only words I understood were "Heathrow Airport" and we were currently on a train to Stratford on Avon, her conversation was clearly irrelevant.

It was only two days later that two young men took seats opposite each other on the train I was on and struck up conversations on their mobiles in their native languages for the next 20 minutes. It is, of course, possible that they may have been talking to each other.
 


Posted by frin (# 9) on :
 
quote:
People who shout into their mobiles in a language I don't understand.

Because it is oh-so-rude to limit your eavesdropping? [/rhetorical]

TICTH people who declare they will never go to another beer festival again on the morning after. Cut the self-pitying punitive act and practice moderation next time.

'frin
 


Posted by S'Lo (# 244) on :
 
TICTH Photoeletric theory.
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by frin:
Because it is oh-so-rude to limit your eavesdropping? [/rhetorical]

Yes. They clearly want to share their conversation by holding loud dialogues in a public place, why not let me get the full benefit of it by speaking in a language I already know?
 


Posted by Sam (# 423) on :
 
TITCH...the note C sharp.
 
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on :
 
TITCH people who have mobile phones but never take them with then ever. Sure they don't want to be at everyones beck and call all the time then but then don't bother haveing one in the first place.

More annoying is those who don't bother takeing there phone with them as they have no credit.But does it cost anything to them if I'm calling them?No.So why don't they flipping take them with them.
(Possibly need whole seperate thread for Mobile phones)
 


Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
'Scuse me? Is this a joke?

Erin
(in full administrator mode)


Administrate away. Which rule did I break that any other post in this thread doesn't break?

Alex
 


Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
Feeling a bit paranoid? Did I say you broke a rule? I just want to know if what you posted was a joke or not.

So: is it a joke?
 


Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
Feeling a bit paranoid? Did I say you broke a rule? I just want to know if what you posted was a joke or not.

So: is it a joke?


This whole thread is a joke, isn't it? I mean, we're not really consigning people to Hell, and nobody who has any modicum of charity would wish to do so (which is why I don't think God does so but that's a subject for another thread!). It's shorthand for "this really irritates me."

And Howard Ingham's column about St. Mary of Egypt really irritated me. Let's make fun of other people's sacred traditions. Let's hold other people's beliefs and practices up -- not for scrutiny, which I welcome, but for ridicule.

That really bugs me.

We have a television show here in the States called Letterman or Late Night with Letterman or something, and he brings people on who are maybe a little slow mentally, and then makes fun of them in such a way that the audience is howling with laughter, but the guest doesn't realize they're being made fun of.

I hate that show for just that reason, and never watch it. He's a mean-spirited little man.

As Howard Ingham strikes me.

Alex
 


Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
Of course this thread is a joke. However, you posted something on the Mother Teresa thread that leads me to believe that you were serious. The reason I ask is that we've had a bit of a hurricane in the past when people have started sending specific posters here to hell, and I wanted clarification BEFORE Wood's defenders get wind of this.

(And it's the Late Show with David Letterman – I'm from and live in Florida.)
 


Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
I'm from and live in Florida.

This explains a hell of a lot.

Alex
 


Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
Like what?
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
Like Dyfrig's signature.

Alex
 


Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
today i consign to hell...

this crappy, slow modem that takes over a minute to load each page of the boards... >8o<

i can't wait to get back to uni and a swift LAN connection.

dave 8o)
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
Erin, I don't think that mousethief knows that Howard Ingham is actually our dear Wood. I believe that if mousethief had made the connection he would have started a thread here in Hell asking Mr Wood to explain his writings.

bb
 


Posted by Stephen (# 40) on :
 
Oh! so that's what you were talking about
But wait.....is not now Wood's cover blown? I don't think he's going to be too happy about that
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
Okay, so I've started a thread asking Wood to come clean with why he's dissing the Mary of Egypt legend. We'll see what happens there. If anybody wants to pounce on me for disagreeing with Wood, please take it up over there, not here (for the sake of this thread staying true to its purpose).

Alex
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH all creatures with more than 4 legs. Particularly if the legs in question are long.

For those of us who suffer from a fear of such creatures, this is NOT a good time of year.

And you wondered why I wasn't camping at GB?
 


Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
TICTH all stinging insects, especially the yellow jackets that made a nest just outside one of my doors last week. Last Friday I got stung three times. I haven't used that door since.

I had a pest control expert come this morning to look at the situation. He'll come back after dark and do them in. That's the good news. The bad news is it will cost me ninety-five dollars.

They definitely belong in hell.

Moo
 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
TICTH the demon spawn who tried to break into my car last night. So you failed. My heart weeps. What really makes it weep is the fact that you annihilated the fecking lock. Which means I can't open the door using the key, but have to break in through the boot. This (a) sets the alarm off and (b) is no fecking help because the alarm is only disarmed by opening the door using the key. So thanks to this illustration of the doctrine of the Fall, I can't disarm the alarm and start the engine. Thank you so much you twat. I've got to remove the door trim to get at the fecking microswitch just to start my fecking car.

And if you know the pointless arse-wipe who nicked most of our flower pots from the front yard over the weekend, why don't the pair of you join up and nick each other's stuff instead of irritating the rest of us?
 


Posted by Sparkle (# 895) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
TICTH all creatures with more than 4 legs. Particularly if the legs in question are long.


Yes! I completely and wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. I would like to add one further catagory - horrible slimy beasties with no legs at all i.e. slugs! What was God thinking when he decided to create these vile things, hm?
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
TICTH the Jefferson County, Colorado, R1 School District. A public school (in the American sense, not the British), they are nevertheless charging for my son's AP calculus textbook. To the tune of $80.

And while we're at it, I also consign to hell the district taxpayers for not being willing to fund public education at a reasonable level.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
I am totally and utterly sick and tired of people who blithely assume that everyone is right handed. I am not right handed. I am LEFT handed, OK? I do not want a computer mouse that is curved to fit my right hand. I do not want to have to reset the mouse settings of every single networked pc I use every single time I log on. I do not WANT a right handed keyboard where the cursor keys are on the WRONG SIDE and slow me down.

I have had much malicious pleasure in getting a left handed keyboard (from "Anything Left handed", in London) and getting pc support to use it on occasion, and watching them struggle, but I resent the fact that I had to buy it myself and it cost twice as much as a standard one. I have had difficulty using half the kitchen equipment I have got, feeding tickets into Tube barriers, using pens in banks because they are plugged into the right hand side of the desk and won't stretch, and the messages you get on pens and mugs are always the wrong way round anyway, and so on and so on down to the buttons on the photocopier and the document feeder.

Nobody ever stops to think about the millions of people in this world who are left handed. Time they did. We exist. Deal with it.
 


Posted by Sparkle (# 895) on :
 
TICTH Colleagues who are never at their blimin' desks when you need them, but won't go away when you want them to!


 


Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
TICTH boyfriends who can't wait to get back to Uni only to use fast computers, not to see their girlfriends.....Dave!

And blimmin Lancaster all it ever does is rain, rain, rain, rain, rain!

And Christian bookshops that charge you a fortune for a Bible (shouldn't they be free on the NHS?).

And washing machines that break when you have NO clean clothes.

And work men that are decorating in your room when you want to sleep and tiling in the bathroom when you want to shower and....
 


Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on :
 
The posts made by Munster1923 especially as my reply ended lost in the cyber-space(probably just as well )
 
Posted by Sam (# 423) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
The posts made by Munster1923 especially as my reply ended lost in the cyber-space(probably just as well )

I'm with you on that one.
I was goaded into making a reply....and it wasn't left in cyberspace.


 


Posted by Sparkle (# 895) on :
 
TICTH All MNCs for being horrible and evil and for making me have to limit my choices of food/clothes/drinks etc. just because there are certain ones I won't buy. And making shopping a whole lot more difficult. Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!


 


Posted by Jasper (# 110) on :
 
quote:
And Christian bookshops that charge you a fortune for a Bible (shouldn't they be free on the NHS?).

They are, aren't they? Just steal a Gideons one from a hospital...

BTW, we only charge a 'fortune' for them because the publishers charge us a fortune for them to start with!

[fixed UBB code]

[ 30 August 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]
 


Posted by Ian Metcalfe (# 79) on :
 
Do you really want me to break down who gets what out of selling a Bible?... believe you me, nobody makes much money off them!


Ian
 


Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :
 
TICTH colleagues who are incapable of performing even the simplest tasks correctly and accurately. And we trust these people with sensitive data...?!?!??!


 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
TICTH answering systems that never allow you to reach a real, live, honest-to-goodness breathing human being. God help us if we ever had a real emergency and could not get through to someone who could answer a question. And for crying out loud if you DO have one of those infernal machines, RETURN THE FREAKING CALL!!!

There, now, I feel better already.
 


Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on :
 
A second person I wanted a fight with has gone, Blazepascal, yet I do not miss him.
 
Posted by Nicole Smith (# 1234) on :
 
TICTH the note D natural.
 
Posted by Sam (# 423) on :
 
Why the note D natural particularly?
 
Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
TICTH cricket, why why, why would people want to waste their time watching it when they could talk to me instead?

Football, in preparation for the disappointment all us England fans will be feeling later tonite.

And peeling sunburn, why can't it just turn into tan?

Oh, and I know this is hell, and I really shouldn't apologise, but I am sorry! I didn't mean to insult all you good Christian booksellers. I know that no-one really makes a profit out of selling the Bible, its a big book, takes a lot of money to print it etc etc. Maybe I should consign to hell the people that wrote it making it so long. Hmmmm! Or maybe not!
 


Posted by Stephen (# 40) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by icklejen:
TICTH cricket,

Don't think I can go along with that!
TICTH football and rugby.In this part of the world we didn't even have rest from it in the summer!!!!

[fixed UBB code]

[ 01 September 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]
 


Posted by spigot (# 253) on :
 
TICTH Car drivers who don't bother to indicate unless they can see another car on the road.

Let me clarify this post. I'm not having a go at all car drivers. I am very grateful to people who give me lifts in their cars. My sister in law kindly gave me a lift to Greenbelt this year for example.

What annoys me is when I'm about to cross the street at a turning or junction. A lone car rides up and doesn't signal. Now as far as I can remember from my driving lessons this means that the car is not going to turn but go straight on. Unfortunately if I acted on this information I
would have been run over several times by now. This means I have to wait while the car pulls up, checks for traffic then pulls away before I know its safe to cross.

If your walking or cycling and there are no other cars around then 7 out of 10 cars don't signal.
Can I ask any culprits reading this to lean to drive please. Thank you. Oh and by the way...

BURN! BURN! AH HA HA
 


Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
I have a bumper sticker which says:

VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNALS

I'm not sure it has persuaded anyone.

Moo
 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
I prefer the bumper sticker that says

VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS!


 


Posted by Benedictus (# 1215) on :
 
TICTH people who abridge children's books.
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
i prefer the bumper sticker a friend has (and she won't give it to me!!!! )

YOU'RE RIGHT, I *DO* OWN THE ROAD

hehehe

viki
 


Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
TICTH people whose *only* response in any situation is to pray.

also, ICTH people who use 'thy will be done' as a get-out slause, meaning they don't have to do anything, because:

'if it's god's will it'll happen, and if it's not god's will then it won't!!!!!'

part of being a christian is getting off your butt and doing something to help bring god's will about.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

viki
 


Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
Yes, I agree, and whoever it was who forgot to put the saying "The Lord helps those who help themselves" into the Bible really blew it!

TICTH my sore throat. This had better be a simple case of post-nasal drip and me sleeping with my mouth open, and not a full-on illness coming over me on a long holiday weekend. I have a heavy schedule of goofing off, and I will NOT have it ruined by a sore throat!
 


Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on :
 
TICTH Myself and my inabilty to get a blimmin move on and actually act on information given. Cryptic? Well It's suppose to be.

[cryptic? no. just misspelled. corrected spelling, sentence spacing, and dropped letters.]

[ 02 September 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]
 


Posted by soupdragon (# 552) on :
 
TICTH crowns. My crown on my front tooth fell off yesterday. It is not pretty. Tomorrow I am having dinner with the Bishop (whom I haven't met before). And no dentists will be open tomorrow as it as a holiday.

Also, in the UK at least, we should CTH drivers that think they can turn into a road when you are crossing the junction. It states clearly in the highway code that in such cases the pedestrian has right-of-way.
 


Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Benedictus:
TICTH people who abridge children's books.

Was there a particularly odious example of this which triggered this consignment? (Btw.. I tend to agree on this one!)
 


Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on :
 
Another person who was irritating me (nonprophet) has been suspended that is three who have gone. Do I have the kiss of death?
 
Posted by Benedictus (# 1215) on :
 
Siegfried--The immediate impetus was a particularly rinkydink version of Oliver Twist. But the ultimate worst was the abridgment (yes, you heard it here) of the works of Beatrix Potter.

Bene
 


Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :
 
Why?! Sheesh! That's as bad as the 'modern' version of the Little Red Hen I ran across at a preschool my ex-mother-in-law ran. Instead of the traditional ending (the lazy animals who don't help dont' get the bread (thus reinforcing the work ethic)), instead, the lazy good-for-nothings get to eat the bread anyway, because sharing and cooperation is more important than doing your share!

 
Posted by The Happy Coot (# 220) on :
 
TICTH, the corporate feeling of comfortableness and privilege in my church with the result that sermons are pitched as if this is the experience of the whole body. I CTH their willingness to embrace refugee and indigenous Australian social justice efforts in the face of their quiet disregard for people struggling in their midst.

I also CTH the friggin' people on the perthdiocese email list who were canvassing to get a Czech tourist with a law degree a job (who probably doesn't have a work visa), but who have remained silent on the participation in Church life of Anglicans living below the poverty line, particularly when it comes to doing courses and retreats. A friggin' 2 tier cost structure would be a token ya jerks.
 


Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
Another person who was irritating me (nonprophet) has been suspended that is three who have gone. Do I have the kiss of death?

Or maybe you're a touchstone? You could just let the admins know who irritates you and they could cut them off without further ado -- would save us hosts all a lot of time.
 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
Another person who was irritating me (nonprophet) has been suspended that is three who have gone. Do I have the kiss of death?

O please Jesus, don't let me irritate Nightlamp!
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
Oh, what a wonderful thread!!

TICTH male servers who won't let women serve.

The other week there were NO SERVERS. We're a bells-and-smells church, so there was neither. I have served at various churches since I was 10, was thurifer for 2 years at college and am currently thurifer at Benediction once a month for another church. Yet out lot preferred to emasculate the liturgy rather than stoop to having a woman take part.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 


Posted by katie (# 116) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
Oh, what a wonderful thread!!

TICTH male servers who won't let women serve.


Sounds like they're in Hell already. You, on the other hand, should get a new church.

 


Posted by Nicole Smith (# 1234) on :
 
Sam, the note D natural because I can't sing it properly! I'm taking voice lessons and I've been wrestling with this for-me hellish note for months!

Btw, blaze and nonprophet and p_a_r are three personae of the same person I invited here... mea maxima culpa.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
Nicole - no, theya maxima culpa

katie - I'm seriously considering it; take a peek at the 'Jumping Ship' thread in Purgatory, any thoughts are welcome.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH The brain dead "Unionists" ( Northern Ireland ) who thing a legitimate part of their protest to harrass, scream at, and obstruct children on their way to school.

They're KIDS you bread dead numbskulls. LEAVE THEM ALONE. ANd don't whine when all that hate comes back in 10 years time on the end of a bullet.

AND the total &%&$%*&@%@ on the news who was trying to support them. You got your message across - you can't face the parents, so attack the children.

It makes me SO mad.

 


Posted by Sam (# 423) on :
 
My local paper who decides that further stirring up racial tension over the asylum issue is a responsible thing to do in a very multi-cultural city.
And myself for not having the guts to write a letter of complaint.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I note from Sam's "Location" (Peterborough, soon to be Cambridge) that the local planners are getting over ambitious again!
 
Posted by S'Lo (# 244) on :
 
TICTH Trashy teen magazines for glorifying skinny models.
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
Money grabbing rip off merchants at the MOT test centre. My car just failed its MOT for leaking emissions from the manifold. The part needed to fix it costs less than £10 and these bastards are charging me over £100 to do the work.
 
Posted by LouiseF (# 361) on :
 
Yes, Steve, those who try and stop Catholic (or any) school children get to school, and shout and scream at them. No excuse, no matter the differences.

Also today I would like to consign to hell the French Catholic Priest I heard on Five Live this morning who was justifying the abuse of children amongst the clergy!!!!
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
Erm, purely out of academic interest, how???

TICTH the cup of boiling hot chocolate I just spilled all over my hand. Owowowowowowo. But TICTHeaven my benzocaine spray, aaaaaahhhhhhhh.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH "Help, I'm a fish". Not only is the the STUPIDEST title for a song ever, it is the most AWFUL ditty ever to get played on radio. It also has an irritating tag that I can't get out of my head.
 
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :
 
TICTH spam that starts out with something along the lines of "Here is the information you requested..." Um, no. I didn't request anything. I'd remember if I had. And do you REALLY think I'm gullible enough to believe you? You're not fooling anyone!!
 
Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
(Just temporarily) My cat, who has been using the area under my computer desk for a litter tray.

People who write books about how they can "contact dead loved ones" and the like. Much as one would think everyone knows such things are a sham, people who have lost a spouse or other dear one are very vulnerable, and I hate scams where people trade on the heartache and bereavement in order to make money. (This happened to someone I know this week, who actually spent substantial money on a "private session.")

Liars of all kinds - the manipulators, the trouble makers, especially the calumniators - but also those who tell one lies because they cannot bear to disappoint one, so that one then has to deal with both the disappointment and knowing one whom one trusted was lying all along.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
My intrusive, "plain English", tax return, which comes with a 50 page set of helpful notes, and the intransigent attitude of some officials at the Inland Revenue who misinform you with great authority. I resent this. I don't want to fill it in. It's my money and I worked for it. I deserve it. Go away.
 
Posted by sacredthree (# 46) on :
 

I sent an email to a friend who I have been doing youth work with, and something had fucked up royally so I used the term:

Oh Bollocks!

Which I thought was quite tame really.

He replied with an email requesting that I did not swear in emails to him .. and if I couldn't express myself without such words I ought to reconsider my standards.

Well I was now royally pissed off myself.

So I sent him an email teeling him that I was pissed off, and that I found his crypto-victorian middle class hang ups very offensive ... and if he didn't want to work with me he didn't have to.

so TICTH

crypto-victorian middle class hang ups about swearing.
 


Posted by obvious_agent (# 1157) on :
 
I'd like to add nasty flu-type viruses that keep me in bed and only half brained for most of the week caghgghgh cagghggghh - there i go again with my canine impression...
 
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :
 
TICTH idiotic coroporate beancounters who issue polices like "No vacation time may be taken for the next 90 days so we can bill additional hours to our customers." Up yours! I earned that time and I'm damn well going to take that time!!
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
You tell 'em, Sieg!

TICTH *$£&%!ing ushers who don't %£*@~!ing well usher!

Went to St. Paul's (cathedral) on a whim tonight for Evensong. Never been there before. The top half of the nave was cordoned off with an usher handing out books at the entrance to it, so I took it that that was where to the service would happen. Approached, smiled, held out hand for service book. Got sharply asked "Are you here for the service?". No, I'm going to take the psalter and run off with it. "Yes, Evensong". Was allowed to have the books and let through, with admonishment "It's till 6, you realise?". Was not told anything about where to sit. Some people were sitting in the chairs in that front half of the nave, so I joined them. Enter choir et al, who went into the quire. Service started. Became aware that the people around me were largely treating it as a cross between a concert and theatre. Stood up as directed for the gloria at the end of the psalm. No-one else stood up - so there was me standing up alone in the middle of St. Paul's Cathedral. Not the best experience I've ever had (they all stood up with me after that though, heh heh ).
I was kind of wondering at there being so few people there, then at the end of the service they all appeared - they had been sitting in the quire, a hoard of them! WHY DIDN'T THE &"%@~#!ING USHERS TELL ME TO GO THERE?????

Mind you, there were some good bits - including a very cute young woman reading the second lesson
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Twenty four hour flu. I really could have done without a sudden severe case of mild death on Sunday which meant I spent much of the day in bed and was awake most of the night with a temperature and chills and being intermittently sick. It has all disappeared as quickly as it came leaving me
feeling really wiped out today. Still haven't a clue where this came from. A great start to my fortnight off.
 
Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Internet service providers who provide technical support only online... it never occurs to them (or perhaps it does!) that, if one's problem is a lack of access to the Internet, one can hardly access online support!

Other technical support (perhaps over the telephone) that leads one to ring one number to be told to ring another.. to another... to another.

Places online that have all sorts of odd requirements for one's password. (Must be a combination of capital and small letters, must contain numbers, must be eight letters, etc.) I think most of us prefer to use one password, which no one could guess, than to have to write down all sorts of other combinations.

Children's sites which have complicated registration forms, on a par with applying for a visa, for access - which the kids put up with because it seems to be a cool games site. When they finally receive the coveted access, the site is either non-working demos which take an hour to download or, worse yet, an animated sermon about brushing one's teeth or eating five servings of fruit a day.

Sites which appear to offer online shopping. Then, when one goes through the interminable stages of "filling the cart," one is led to a page that informs one that one must now telephone in one's credit card number or print out and fax the order.

Churchy types who expect people to be happy about hurts and thank God for the bad times. Someone I know was fired from a church job which she had loved. A few months later, she happened to meet someone from the parish at a store. He greeted her with an enthusiastic, "Oh, yes! I heard your services were no longer required!" When tears started falling down her face, he not only told her who had taken over and what a great job he was doing, but said to her, "Well, sound like you're happy about it!" (Dante did not place a low enough spot in hell for people like that..)

Anyone who tells someone who is bereaved, especially who has just lost a spouse, and who speaks of loneliness that he should "just talk to God."
 


Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by spigot:
What annoys me is when I'm about to cross the street at a turning or junction. A lone car rides up and doesn't signal

I once asked a driver who inflicted this on me, and then parked 50 yards further down the road why she hadn't indicated. Her reply was "I didn't need to - you could see me."

(So I presume that she uses her indicator for the visually impaired?)
 


Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Anyone who plays ego games by giving "back handed compliments." (Nice hat - it takes away from your big nose.... You'd be so pretty if you lost X amount of weight... It must be nice to have your son in that school - I thought they had a very high academic standard before.)

Worst yet is pretended humility. "Oh, I was so embarrassed today! The boss told me he's never known an employee as dedicated as I am."
 


Posted by Cuttlefish (# 1244) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
TICTH "Help, I'm a fish".

What's wrong with being a fish?
 


Posted by Elizabeth (# 207) on :
 
TICTH the blond, snooty woman in the convertible Porsche talking on her mobile phone who zoomed through the parking spaces of the parking lot at the supermarket.

She nearly hit us (we were actually in the lane between spaces, doing the required speed limit). I frowned at her, and she just shrugged her shoulders at me.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Cuttlefish - I have no problems with you being a fish. Unless it means you lose all sense of musical taste, as in the case of the song.
 
Posted by Cuttlefish (# 1244) on :
 
What? Me, a fish? No way! I'm a mollusc. I'm just standing up for my aquatic friends. I happen to like fish. Yum. But this is getting very silly, rather like your song. I have to say I don't know the song but it sounds fun.
 
Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Cuttlefish - oops. Sorry. I never was any good at biology.

The song ( from its title ) sound like it should be pleasant and cheerful. Think tweenies meet Ronan Keating - complete lack of visible talent.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
I have just spent 5 hours trying to find a budget holiday for myself and my mother. It has now become clear that a) neither of us really has enough money for a holiday and b) our modest hope of getting a cut price flight and two cheapish rooms for three nights is unrealistic. Why the hell do they have to penalize single people with this ridiculous blasted single room supplement? What on earth is the justification for slapping on anything between 10-89 pounds a night extra just because I don't have a dual income? How do they think my pensioner mother can afford this?

Stuff this for a lark.
 


Posted by jemmi (# 548) on :
 
TICTH the fact the 'Today I consign to heaven' thread didn't any-where as many replies as this one!


*Walks off singing 'help I'm s fish*
 


Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
Anyone who tells someone who is bereaved, especially who has just lost a spouse, and who speaks of loneliness that he should "just talk to God."

What's even worse is someone telling the bereaved, "I know just how you feel." Every human being is unique. Every relationship between two human beings is unique. No one can ever know exactly how a bereaved person feels. Having someone say they do know is turning the knife in the bereaved person's heart.

Moo
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
I think it best that people not post to this particular thread for the time being.

I'm not going to lock it, but l would be grateful for your cooperation.

tomb
hellhost
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
By popular demand, TICTH is back in operation.

You can consign me to hell for forgetting about it and keeping it out of action for so long, but since I'm already there, the sentiment might be considered superfluous.

tomb
hellhost
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH people who sit on tube trains in the rush hour, and then read their paper in the middle of the aisle, meaning you can't stand in front of them. If they want to take the aisle space, they can, and I will have the seat. Thank you.

And parents-in-law. Need I say more?
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Myself.
 
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
ticth the asshole who posted a printout of the e-mail described in this page of world trade center urban myths, on a board dedicated to tributes and missing posters in grand central station. (needles to say i pulled the filthy thing down)
 
Posted by CharlottePlatz (# 695) on :
 
TICTH - those rude people who are apparently, young, fit and healthy - who sit in the seats for disabled/elderly people at the front of the bus. When someone old or elderly gets on, they continue to sit there, blithely chewing gum and allowing the old person to swing from the handlebars! Last night, I had to push my way through the aisles and give up my seat at the back, for an old chap who was obviously struggling to stand up. He was so grateful - and I did not have the courage to confront the ignorant imbeciles (aged about 19) who were sitting in the seats supposed to be for him.

How RUDE!
 


Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on :
 
TICTH The person or persons (unknown) who thought it woas funny to jump on the bonnet of my much loved 1958 Morris Minor severely denting it.

Don't they realise that Travis has feelings?

 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
PAF, DCOM and all the other lousy bits of technology I am having to struggle with.
 
Posted by Tina (# 63) on :
 
TICTH the dimensions of bus seats generally. As a friend once remarked, the double seat is designed for 'one and a half normal people or two (insert name of very small person of your acquaintance)'.

If you have either a big bum or long legs, you're in trouble. If, like me, you have both, it's off down to Waterstone's in search of 'Human Origami for Beginners'.
 


Posted by dizzy (# 1294) on :
 
TICTH.....Labels and tins of paint aaaargh!!!

Does this mean they won't be waiting for me when I get to work tomorrow?
 


Posted by rachel_o (# 1258) on :
 
TICTH....

Being told by an ailine rep that they have cancelled my flight back to England, and then being put endlessly on hold while they try and decide what they are going to do about it.

Rachel
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH moving house.

It's horrible, awful, intense, stressful and lonely. I hate feeling like I've been pulled completely out of my context and have consequently lost myself, my life and my friends. I also CTH the beurocracy of my university that tried to make me homeless for a week, despite the fact that I have had a medical place in Halls since March, and until next June at the earliest. I CTH the whole system that meant that I had to go outside the usual channels and plead to be allowed to have a roof over my head for last week. I also CTH the people who put me in a room that was inappropriate for my illness when I finally did move into the new Hall, so that I had the extra stress of requesting a room transfer and having to shift all my stuff again. I CTH the general attitude that means that were my illness physical rather than mental and I said my accommodation was unsuitable then I would not be asked to explain in detail and get a look like "you're complaining about that ?". I CTH the fact that this all means I've spent a good proportion of the last four days feeling suicidal. And I'm meant to be starting work again on Monday for the first time in 5 months. Yeah, I feel up to it after this.
In short, TICTH this college.
 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
Joan,
As our former President used to say, "I feel your pain."

I have found a saying which has helped me in similar times of stress.

"Never attribute to malice, that which can be explained by mere stupidity."
 


Posted by spigot (# 253) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Carmel:
Myself.

Whats up Carmel?
 


Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
TICTH the practice of saying "our prayers go out to the victims and their families." Yes, complaining about this makes me a petty person (but you all knew that already), but our prayers go to God for the victims and their families.
 
Posted by Islandexile (# 1340) on :
 
Designers who decide it's fun to make copy editors to write one column (on a seven column grid), 42 pt headlines for stories about stabbings and Kamehameha schools. How the hell am I suppose to fit either of those words into a one column headline?
 
Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Islandexile:
Designers who decide it's fun to make copy editors to write one column (on a seven column grid), 42 pt headlines for stories about stabbings and Kamehameha schools. How the hell am I suppose to fit either of those words into a one column headline?

So make it 18 pt. They'll never know the difference. These new-fangled designers wouldn't know a pica pole if somebody flogged them with it.

tomb
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by spigot:
Whats up Carmel?

Just one of those days, spigot, but thanks for asking.
 


Posted by Admiral Holder (# 944) on :
 
TICTH...

The only car hire company within walking distance of my apartment for not letting under 28s rent a car!

How else am I to see this beautiful country???
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Train and bus, darling. The DART Rambler ticket is good all-day value for the Dublin coast, CIE excursions are pretty good, or turn up at Heuston Station or Amiens St bus station and see what's going if you want to go even further afield. I don't have a driving licence so this is what I have to do.
 
Posted by Emily (# 437) on :
 
TICTH people who tell you to do a 4 week teaching practice starting at the beginning of term, and then, in the final week, REDATE the thing so it began 2 1/2 weeks LATER! Thereby becoming a 7 week placement.

I'm not impressed. The goalposts for me to qualify as a teacher seem to keep moving - every time I meet a target, the target changes. This, I suppose, is what you get for developing diabetes and being unable to perform to the best of your ability for a couple of weeks. Sometimes I'm tempted to throw the whole thing in . . .

There's something really wrong with teacher training in this country if it can take someone like me, who is really comitted to children and to their subject, and who has always wanted to teach, and demoralises them to such an extent that they are left unable to remember why they thought teaching was such a good idea.
 


Posted by Emily (# 437) on :
 
TICTH people who tell you to do a 4 week teaching practice starting at the beginning of term, and then, in the final week, REDATE the thing so it began 2 1/2 weeks LATER! Thereby becoming a 7 week placement.

I'm really fed up with this. Every time I get close to meeting targets, the targets change. And I'm SO tempted to throw the whole thing in and go and do something that'll bring in sufficient money to make the angst worth while.

I've always wanted to teach. I'm really enthusiastic about children and about my subject. So why is everyone out to make me so demoralised that I jack it in before it really begins? How do they think they can possibly sort the teaching crisis if they keep behaving like this?

Oh, sorry. I forgot. It is of course MY fault - I fell ill in March, and because I lost 2 weeks then, I obviously need 7 weeks to make it up. Another benefit of diabetes there . . .
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
*megahugs*(((Emily)))

What are they playing at? They're very lucky to have you training, they ought to be falling over themselves to get you to qualify! Hell's too good for them...
 


Posted by Admiral Holder (# 944) on :
 
<Not at all hellish>
Thanks, Carmel. Still finding my way around.
</Not at all hellish>
 
Posted by Emily (# 437) on :
 
It gets worse . . .

My school told me (disbelievingly) that my College tutor had extended the placement - and now she has the gall to write and claim that THE SCHOOL extended the placement And there's nowt I can do about it, except rev in neutral, get het up and upset, and teach very badly when I'm assessed. Any ideas of the way out?
 


Posted by Qestia (# 717) on :
 
TICTH this week.

A sincere TGIF!
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
Qestia: seconded, oh boy seconded.

(((Emily)))
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
((Emily))
And the government wonders why it's headed for a severe teacher shortage.

TICTH being broke, and having no income. I'm not long term broke, but it's not easy to touch my money.

And I consign to hell the benefits agency

Angel
 


Posted by frin (# 9) on :
 
quote:
There's something really wrong with teacher training in this country if it can take someone like me, who is really comitted to children and to their subject, and who has always wanted to teach, and demoralises them to such an extent that they are left unable to remember why they thought teaching was such a good idea.

I suppose it saves time. At least if you get put off at the training stage you don't end up discovering how lowly teachers are held in the opinions of the government, parents and many pupils. I know very few people who are still teaching - and plenty who left with mental health problems because of the culture of education these days.

Sorry to be depressing.

'frin
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH the juvenile twat in my hall who wrote on one of our discussion group posters. It was our first Chaplaincy discussion group today on the America attacks, and the posters which I put up yesterday have a picture of one of the WTC towers after the second plane had been flown into them, with the headline "where from here?" written beside it. One one by the commonroom area someone had written underneath it (and just beside the tower) "down", with an arrow. Now technically that is humourous, but it's really upset me (I saw it about 5 minutes ago) because it is so wildly inappropriate, sad and callous. We had the discussion this lunchtime and it was very good and productive - some students think about these things, some it seems just couldn't care less and act on their instinct to try and by 'witty' at the expense of being human.

Luckily I had a lot of spare posters, so I've replaced the defaced one. But it's got me more upset than I feel is proportional.
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH garages and all their evil works.

I am certain they're ripping me off. more to the point, I'm not convinced they didn't let me drive off in an unroadworthy vehicle

Angel
 


Posted by frin (# 9) on :
 
TICTH feeling guilty because I had to ask someone to get up and let me use one of the disabled and/or eldery seats on the bus. Why feel guilty for exerting your rights.

'frin
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
Emily,

If it's any reassurance my wife hated all of her teacher training year except for the actual teaching practice. Now in her 24th year of teaching she has yet to find a good teacher who actually enjoyed the training itself.

Remember that few, if any, teacher trainers do so because of a burning desire to train teachers, most do so because they couldn't cope with teaching kids.

Finally think of this as good training, if you can cope with what your college is shitting on you now, then you will be ready for what the government, senior management and some of your future colleagues will dump on you over the next 40 years.

In modern teaching the kids are the easy bit.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH Imperial Queers (the college LGBT society) for a load of cliquey unwelcoming introverted gits. It was the 'Freshers' Party' this evening - I turned up, got a drink, said Hi to a few people and... got ignored. Persevered, found another first timer who no-one was talking to, so talked to him. Tried to talk to some people who I vaguely knew, but they were in their own little group and couldn't care less. Eventually said Hi to a couple of people who turned out to be Freshers who were feeling as pissed off with being ignored and unwelcomed as me. Dragged the president over to us to say, look this is really crap and he said we should go and talk to people. Yeah, been trying to all evening. The four of us eventually left after further futile attempts to get anyone to acknowledge our existance, saying bugger this, let's go clubbing on our own sometime and sod this lot. Which is something, I guess. It just struck me as really bad that if I felt so upset about it, how would say a Fresher who's never come out before feel? Utterly intimidated, probably. It doesn't make sense: we're ostracised so much by other people, surely as a community we ought to be welcoming? I've NEVER been to a less welcoming society meeting of ANY sort of society. Grrrrrrrrrr
 
Posted by Louise (# 30) on :
 
Today I consign to Hell my ex-boyfriend practically ignoring me and the people who were considering me for a major piece of freelance work not getting back to me.

Oh baloney!
L.
 


Posted by The Non-Adjectival Coot (# 220) on :
 
TICTH sort of, my dogs. For sporadic barking while I am in a noise-intolerant state. I mean you know I wouldn't want any harm to come to them. But down to the vet for a green dream sounds good at the mo. I'll spare the dogs but my family can go to the flames for ignoring the desperation in my voice when I asked if they could take them for a week. Fobbed me off with poxy excuses.

Hm.
 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
TICTH a software company that to protect the Ship will remain nameless, for the following reasons:

1) They have sent me loads of new licence codes - none of which solve the problem which they are sent to solve.

2) Every fecking time I fecking ring them I have to explain the details - IP addresses, subnet masks, the sodding lot - again. Do these people never record anything?

3) Because of their incompetence I get continuous grief from the users who can't use the fecking application.

Extra hot brimstone, please....
 


Posted by Miffy (# 1438) on :
 
TICTH

Tesco's Fresh Tomato and Basil soup...I've worked for that soup....I've bled (literally) for that soup... (stupid plastic bottles) That's four days I've been trying to undo the stupid thing...

I want my soup!
 


Posted by David (# 3) on :
 
American film distributors. I know a fair few Americans, and none of them are that stupid.

A recent example is the Harry Potter movie. From the book "Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone", released everywhere else in the world as such, but in the US as "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".

Why? did the Philosopher's Union complain?

One of the first Australian movies released in the us was Sunday Too Far Away. It was subtitled!

Some of the scenes in "The Castle" were reshot. Rissoles was changed to meatloaf, for example.

Why why why? Does everything have to be so homogenous?

Idiots.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
I want to consign to Hell the evil scum who liberally applied candle wax to our office steps, so that they could skateboard down them in ease and annoy the hell out of people while they are working and crash into them when they leave the office. No punishment is too good for these vile caricatures of humanity.
 
Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :
 
TICTH heartburn.

That's it.
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
Beethoven, nibble a dry biscuit or drink some mint tea. I found that those help heartburn during pregnancy.

bb
 


Posted by Laura (# 10) on :
 
quote:
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

It's worse than you think -- the movie was released that way, because that's the title the book bears in the United States. I have read that the publisher thought people in anti-intellectual America wouldn't read something with the word "Philosopher" attached to it anywhere.

This even though it being the philosopher's stone is important to the book for lots of reasons, and represents (even better) an important historical allusion.

I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. For talking down to the multitudes and aiming for the lowest common denominator and for insulting our intelligence and for just generally screwing up whatever they can.
 


Posted by jenny (# 499) on :
 
TICTH my eyelid. It's kind of flickering which I'm told is a muscle thing due to tiredness, but it's been going on for the last two days and is driving me to total distraction.... AAARGH!!! (Also may make me look slightly weird - perhaps I look as though I'm winking at everyone) Does anyone recognise the symptoms, and is there anything you can do about it before I leap into the sulpherous flames myself, just to stop it?

jen
 


Posted by Renee (# 479) on :
 
TICTH the nimrods who think it's funny to dust an envelope with laundry powder or espresso and send it to their colleagues as a joke.


re: eye tics, try aspirin or ibuprofen (not acetamenophen), plus a cool cloth over your eyes. If the nerve is inflamed, the anti-inflammatories should help. The cloth is very soothing. Get some rest.
 


Posted by jenny (# 499) on :
 
(Thank you Renee! Here's hopin')
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH whoever's just set off the fire alarm. Oh well, spose I'd better evacuate...
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
The unspeakable delinquent who thought it would be funny to sprinkle some small piles of white powder on the side steps of the office yesterday, ensuring that the whole building had to be evacuated at short notice and part of the area cordoned off. We had to hang around in a different part of the city while forensic tests were carried out, and as we'd all expected, the whole thing turned out to be a hoax. And no doubt some immature idiot somewhere else was really enjoying the fuss he'd caused.

I really wonder if they should give this sort of thing so much publicity on television.
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Laura:
It's worse than you think -- the movie was released that way, because that's the title the book bears in the United States. I have read that the publisher thought people in anti-intellectual America wouldn't read something with the word "Philosopher" attached to it anywhere.

This even though it being the philosopher's stone is important to the book for lots of reasons, and represents (even better) an important historical allusion.


Interesting, I knew the US had a different title for the book but I assumed (wrongly, it appears) that this was just a "cross cultural lexicon" item with the name of the stone.
 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
TICTH the idiot anti-abortion crusaders who are trying to capitalize on the anthrax scare by mailing threat letters with "white powder" to Planned Parenthood clinics.

I heard on the news where one anthrax hoax perpetrator got 8 years and a MAJOR (six figure) fine. Seems the USPS takes this stuff rather seriously.
 


Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
campbellite, oh yeah. NEVER mess with the us postal police. i have been told that within their (very limited) sphere of operations, they are THE most effective us law enforcement agency.
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
I'm angry. I'm . I'm even a bit . My first class, and I've been dumped in it. The lecturer who set the problem sets worded one of the problems incorrectly. All the kids valiently tried to do what they were asked and got into various pickles of course as you can't get the answer the way they were told to find it. My fellow marker just looked at the answer sheet that the lecturer gave us and didn't realise the problem, so roasted all the kids with red ink on their papers. And guess who's got to take the class? Me.

OK, OK, so this isn't that big a deal, but this is the first class I've ever given, it's in an hour's time, and I'm a wee bit nervous so things are getting a bit out of proportion!
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
Wheeee, survived the class, and only had to fudge my answer to one question from the floor!

However, I will apologise to anyone who's ever taught me for not realising just how nerve-wracking it is to stand up in front of a room full of people and try and teach them something. Phew.
 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
TICTH the South Yorkshire Police.

For why? I don't hear you cry. But I'll tell you anyway.

Gnome parked the car just past where the double yellow lines ended. When she came back it was ticketed. Apparently it's an urban clearway. Fair enough? Not bloody likely!

I'm all in favour of urban clearways where necessary. But for feck's sake wouldn't it make sense to actually let us know the damned thing is there? Perhaps re-painting the yellow dashed line so that it's actually visible? Putting up a sign saying where the clearway starts? Putting up a plate indicating the hours of operation.

So, one thinks, point these little flaws out to Plod and he'll cancel the ticket.

O gullible me! Of course not. Instead I get a letter telling me that the signs are all there, the road is marked, etc. etc.

This is in conflict with reality, which I have gone back twice to see and now photographed. Mind you, it's difficult to prove something doesn't exist by photographing it not existing.

Why do the police think they can sustain a fine against me without actually going and checking for themselves?

I'll see them in court before I pay the damned thing.


 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH having no money. Literally. I have just got my bank statement, and my quarterly stipend that's just gone in is the same amount as my debts. So I have nothing to live on until 1 December apart from my overdraft and what little I get from teaching. Here's hoping the Hardship Fund committee takes pity on me; I'm just not looking forward to trying to explain to them how utterly impossible I find it controlling my finances when I'm ill, which is why I'm in such a mess now. O me, O life. Just when things were starting to look like they might look up.
 
Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
Barbequed potato chips. (nasty things)

If God had meant for potatoes to be barbequed, He would have given them curly tails and a squeal.
 


Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :
 
Good luck, Karl, My better half knows someone who got off a speeding charge because he proved the signs were not properlyu visible, or too far apart, I forget which.

TCICH Mr&Mrs Head Louse and all their tenacious offspring.
 


Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
TICTH my fear of posting on these boards.
 
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
ticth the horrible woman who cursed me out, screamed, and ranted at me because i would not let her continue using the photocopier after we were supposed to be closed. it was a truly unplesent event, and she's probably going to complain about me to higher powers, meaning i'll have to call to the appropriate office tomorrow morning to warn them that the calls coming and give them my side of it.
 
Posted by Renee (# 479) on :
 
Nicolemrw, I'm sure they'll understand--you're not a real librarian unless you've had that happen to you a half dozen times in your career. I actually had a person sneak back upstairs to use the copier after we closed and then complain bitterly because the power was off.
 
Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by sakura:
TICTH my fear of posting on these boards.

sakura:

Welcome to the Ship of Fools! Well done in making one of your first posts in Hell. Feel free to maneuver about and find what fits. This is a large and diverse (in the good sense, not the PC one) community. It's all about people.

tomb
hellhost
 


Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
thank you very much! it is lovely to be here.

Going to be REALLY bold now and try an instant smiley face.

here goes...
 


Posted by Sparkle (# 895) on :
 
TICTH Time differences which make it impossible for me to communicate with my family back home in England!


 


Posted by Dangerous Liaison (# 1447) on :
 
The questioning my boss gives to anyone who dares to phone in ill. (Of course, I shouldn't consign my boss to hell - that would be rude!)
 
Posted by Qestia (# 717) on :
 
Since we're on the subject of bosses, how about my boss's childish defensiveness...and the temper tantrums he throws, such as whenever his phone rings, or when he's logging into his computer. My coworker and I told him that we've almost completed this major project (that last year took until February to finish!). Do we get a "thank you" or "nice job"? No, a defensive "when were you going to tell me?"

Not consigning him to Hell, just those childish qualities...
 


Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
renee, oh i know, its not the first time (though it was one of the worst). but its always a horrible, upsetting thing.
 
Posted by Cuttlefish (# 1244) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl:
TICTH the South Yorkshire Police.

Gnome parked the car just past where the double yellow lines ended. When she came back it was ticketed. Apparently it's an urban clearway. Fair enough? Not bloody likely! ........
I'll see them in court before I pay the damned thing.


Karl, came across this article about Parking tickets. in the telegraph. Apparently in some councils trafic wardens are paid a bonus for handing out more tickets. It's causing a furore. I don't know if S.Yorks police are the same.
 


Posted by Benedictus (# 1215) on :
 
TICTH wasting my time screwing around trying to make substandard computer equipment work. This class starts in 45 minutes. It wouldn't break them to buy 10 half decent network cards.
 
Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
TICTH the imminent onset of Summer.
(the sound of sobbing is heard)

It was 30 deg C yesterday (sob) and that's a month before the official start. Sob sob sob. Soon it'll be 32, then it will creep up to 35 and then there will be a consistent period of 37ishes, with the occasional 42 thrown in. God preserve us from anything higher than that. (Where I'm from you would get the odd 47).

Wail! I wish I lived on the Orkney Islands.

[to convert Celsius to Farenheit multiply by 1.8 and add 32]
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sibling Coot:
TICTH the imminent onset of Summer.
(the sound of sobbing is heard)

It was 30 deg C yesterday (sob) and that's a month before the official start. Sob sob sob. Soon it'll be 32, then it will creep up to 35 and then there will be a consistent period of 37ishes, with the occasional 42 thrown in. God preserve us from anything higher than that. (Where I'm from you would get the odd 47).

Wail! I wish I lived on the Orkney Islands.

[to convert Celsius to Farenheit multiply by 1.8 and add 32]


Yesterday it was 20 here, Today the maximum should be 13. It is wet and going to get wetter. Shortly the frosts will start, first at night and then, possibly, through the day. The one constant will be intermittent rain throughout Nov and Dec. We haven't had a major snow fall this far south for 5 or 6 years (although I lost one day's work through a snow fall late last December)

Swap ya!
 


Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
Oh please oh please! Steve_R! I just need someone to pay my ahem boat fare and the quarantine fees for my cats and dogs and I'd be over there in a shot.

Actually I was too conservative on the spate of 37ish temperatures. It is more like an extended period in the high 30s. And the awful thing is, the night-time temps are often in the 20s!!! Sob! (remembering sleepless nights bathed in sweat) The house heats up and becomes like a little kiln - (I've hosed it down before in an effort to reduce the temp) and stays hot because of the hot nights.

Oooh. I've fantasised about living on the Orkney Is. for years. The lovely green carpet dotted with fluffy white sheep on top of bits of rock.
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sibling Coot:

Oooh. I've fantasised about living on the Orkney Is. for years. The lovely green carpet dotted with fluffy white sheep on top of bits of rock.

Dream on Coot!

For the majority of the winter it is sheeting down with rain or snow in 40-50mph winds.

FYI the forecast for today is:

Coastal Waters Forecast for The Orkney Islands

Issued at 7:15 am Thursday, November 1, 2001

Forecast for Thursday
Wind: West backing south-west 5 (25mph/35kph) increasing 6 (30/50) or 7 (35/60)
Weather: A little rain and drizzle spreading from the west.
Sea State: Rough.
Visibility: Good becoming moderate.
Outlook for Friday: South-west 6 to perhaps gale force 8 (45/70)
Outlook for Saturday: South-west to west 5 or 6
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
oooh you sounded just so 'shipping forecast' then!

Coot, the Orkney Islansa are lovely. Keep dreaming.

bb
 


Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
Right. Now I have to be hellish. TICTH Sizzler's and all restaurants that think it is a good idea to put baby change areas in women's toilets as opposed to a separate Parent's room.

When I spill macaroni salad down my shirt and go to rinse it out, I do not want to be confronted by a disgusting, faeces-ridden baby. (Legs in the air, mother and adoring aunt wiping the smeared crap off it). Could hardly eat my lunch after that.
 


Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve_R:
Dream on Coot!

For the majority of the winter it is sheeting down with rain or snow in 40-50mph winds.


Had our first snowball fight of the year on Oct. 31 this year - oh for 30 degree weather (C not F)
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
Dear Coot:

This morning, I am looking out my office window at the mountains. The air is so dry that the sky is almost purple, and so clear that the peaks seemed to be outlined in a black pencil. There are still a few golden and yellow leaves on the trees, and the sunlight is absolutely golden.

The temperature is a little brisk, but should warm up to the 60s (F) by midday.

I wanted you to know this in order to comfort you.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
The whole thing of rented accommodation.

I have just been told that my landlord needs to have the chimney redone, which means virtually demolishing my attic flat to get at it. I am to be given six months’ notice.

A preliminary look in the paper suggests that prices of one-bedroom flats should account for all or more than my income. This means that if I stay in the city, I will have to go back to paying more than half my salary to living, sleeping, cooking and eating in just one room, described as a studio flat. I don’t have any transport, so am limited to bus and train routes, in other words, commuterland with equivalent prices. I have also spent a year trying to find jobs, and despite 10 interviews, have not yet been first choice. The job market has pretty well dried up lately.

It also means that this will be my 16th move in 17 years. Stuff this for a lark. I am completely disillusioned not only with life but human nature. I can’t afford to buy, and I have no choice but to rent. If I move somewhere cheaper, the salaries are lower. You don’t gain anything.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
As if there wasn't enough violence around, the IRA (or similar) exploded a bomb in Birmingham last night. A coded warning was sent too late, but no-one was hurt thank goodness.

I want to cry. Things were going so well in NI after the shock of 11 September. Maybe this shouldn't be in Hell as I'm not consigning anyone or anything to it. It's just such a major disappointment... but even that sounds lamer than what I feel.
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
TICTH end of session uni exams!!!!!!!!!!! Especially economics exams!! I ahve one in 12 and a half hours time, and although I'm quite good at economics, I don't know anything. So to help me pass, I'm wasting time on the boards .

So I guess that TIalsoCTH me being on the computer when I should be studying...
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
The air is so dry that the sky is almost purple, and so clear that the peaks seemed to be outlined in a black pencil. There are still a few golden and yellow leaves on the trees, and the sunlight is absolutely golden.

We get days like that here in Denbigh. On the mountains there aren't many trees, but there are huge banks of heather and gorse. These turn brown and orange during the winter. It is quite a sight to see, clear, clear blue skies, with purple mountains and orange blazes. At sunset it can look as if the whole muntain range is aflame.

Ain't God's world rather nice.

bb
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Mid:
So I guess that TIalsoCTH me being on the computer when I should be studying...


If this becomes a problem you could ask one of the administrator to barr you for a while.

bb

p.s. Welcome aboard.
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
TICTH my fears and worries about my economics exam. It was easy!!!!!
 
Posted by Alaric the Goth (# 511) on :
 
TICTH the 'Lord of the Rings' film and its makers. Obviously I haven't seen it yet, but I have read enough reviews to know they've 'done their own thing' with a key character, Arwen Undomiel, and what she does.

Now in the book, she is portrayed as an awesomely beautiful Elven princess, daughter of Elrond Halfelven, who is due to marry Aragorn, but only if he succeeds in becoming King of both Gondor and Arnor. She has a few wise words to say at certain points, and she makes a 'banner' for Aragorn and sends it to him. In 'The Return of the King' she rides to Minas Tirith to wed him. She doesn't 'do' a lot more than this.

Nowhere in Tolkien's books does she wield a weapon or engage in any sort of fighting. Given his view of women, it would be very unlikely that she would. The Rohirric woman Eowyn joins in the great Ride of her people (disguised as a male Rider) as a despairing, aberrant response to being unable to 'have' Aragorn, and to the difficult years she has endured the 'attention' of Wormtongue.

The film, however, apparently depicts Arwen as a 'warrior princess', riding out on sorties with her half-elven brethren. If they are going to spend untold millions on such a film, and on getting the landscapes, battle-scenes, etc. 'right', how on (Middle) Earth do they think they hav the right to significantly tamper with Arwen's role? And have they done it because the character as written by JRRT is seen these days as too 'passive' and they want an 'active' female protagonist?

As an avid fan of the books, I shall avoid seeing the film as I fear it would just wind me up.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Alaric - I'm with you in not tampering with classic books. If the film is supposed to be of the book, make it of the book. I haven't noticed that the books are so unsaleable because of the world-view that Tolkien has.

I will go to see the film though, because I am such an addict, that however good or bad it is, I need to have seen it.

And yes I did see the truly, madly, deeply dreadful animated version of half of it.
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
I'm not a fan of Lord of the Rings, I couldn't even get into The Hobbit (which I was told to read as a precursur). This said, I agree wholeheartedly with you.
The film I whing about is Looking For Alibrandi. I'm not sure if it came out anywhere but Australia, but it was meant to be based on the excellent novel. However, they change a lot of it to make it better for the actresses and "more entertaining". I refuse to see it as it spoils what was a very good story, and one I could sympathise with (it's a story about a girl who's doing her HSC, I was doing mine when I read it).
Books are written in a certain way for a reason. If they don't want ot make it about the book properly, they shouldn't do it at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
It has been said by many critics that a good book is hard to make into a movie because the two media emphasize different things. And, as per a thread on the Old Board, there are several well-known movies that are considered better than the books they were based on (but those books, however--Bridges of Madison County, Chocolat, American Psycho, etc., weren't good to begin with).
 
Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
Actually, I may have to reneg on my rpevious sttatements, or at least make them a "sometimes". I refer to Tom Clancy's, The Hunt For Red October. The book is sensational, and so is the movie (after you get past Sean Connery playing a half-Lithuaian Russian submarine Captain). The books is very different from the movie though. It made a better movie by changing it, and so I agree with what you said. I think Jurassic Park is the same. But it doesn't always work...
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH the asrehole who hacked me last night. And myself for connecting to the network before checking my fileshare settings so leaving myself open to hacking.

I've tried to close the stable door and deleate the cr@p they've put on my 'puter, I'm just paranoid they've installed a trojan horse.

Why do people do this???
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
I think it is because they don't have girlfriends, and need something to brag to their friends about.
 
Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Mid:
I think it is because they don't have girlfriends, and need something to brag to their friends about.

That should be friend Mid, singular, not plural.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve_R:
That should be friend Mid, singular, not plural.

You mean the bot they play against in Quake?
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH the post office, who are changing all of the postcodes in W1 in London. The list of changes is 2 inches thick.
 
Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
I'd like to retract from hell my economics exam and replace it with my politics exam!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't do it, I know nothing!! AARRGH
 
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
TICTH the over-active imagination of the UK tabloid press about anything to do with Christianity.

'The Exorcist!' screamed the headlines today, 'Bishop lifts gypsy curse from football ground!'

The real story is far less sensational, but why let that get in the way of a good headline?
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH period pain. The sort that doesn't respond to 1200mg of ibuprofen and a hot water bottle.

Angel
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
*hands Angel a huge mug of milky hot chocolate*
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Angel, after much trial and error I've discovered that if you go on an all-natural, non-meat diet, and cut out refined sugar and alcohol for up to 10 days before, you can get through virtually trouble free. I hardly have any cramps now or any of the other symptoms. It may sound wacky but it really does work.

I speak as one who has had nothing but trouble for years, and most lately in the form of blackouts and near comas as well as cramps. Mercifully, going on this diet really seems to have helped.
 


Posted by Ham 'n' Eggs (# 629) on :
 
TICTH the increasingly prevelant practice of shipmates changing names (and we are not talking merely about the adjective preceeding the wildfowl that takes their fancy). No, SidF decides after 150 posts that actually, MidnightStallion is a much cooler name, and confuses the heck out of everyone that takes note of peoples identities.

It is confusing, irritating, thoughtless, damages the community, and is possibly a bootable offence. But by my reckoning, at least 6 people with shipmate status have done this in the past month.
 


Posted by Miss Nomer (# 1430) on :
 
I am one of those who have changed my name.I apologise if this has caused you any hurt or confusion but this is more anonymous than my original name. When I signed up I had to think of something quickly and wasn't feeling very clever.

AKA Rebekah
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ham 'n' Eggs:
It is confusing, irritating, thoughtless, damages the community, and is possibly a bootable offence

Well, tis not a bootable offense.

The Coot of many adjectives seems to have settled on Sibling Coot for the moment.

As for the others, it might help if they were to declare their new name in All Saints or something like that. It can be very confusing to come across a new name and see a post count of over 200.

But, we are an adaptable people, we can cope, can't we.

bb
 


Posted by Stephen (# 40) on :
 
It seems fairly harmless to me as long as it is not an intention to deceive
And I did guess who Miss Nomer was,correctly!
I think the Coot should revert to being happy again.We'll have to think of a suitable adjective for her..
 
Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Carmel:
Angel, after much trial and error I've discovered that if you go on an all-natural, non-meat diet, and cut out refined sugar and alcohol for up to 10 days before, you can get through virtually trouble free. I hardly have any cramps now or any of the other symptoms. It may sound wacky but it really does work.

I speak as one who has had nothing but trouble for years, and most lately in the form of blackouts and near comas as well as cramps. Mercifully, going on this diet really seems to have helped.



Carmel - you just described my usual diet. I'm a veggie, that eats a little fish, and generally eats whole foods 365/52. And I don't touch alcohol that much.

It was bad before I started being given hormones - mostly just heavy, so I'd go badly anaemic.

Angel, still feeling very very grumpy, as some shipmates found out in the cafe this evening.
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
TICTH my history exam. It's my last one before I go on leave (and then to sea!!) and I have run out of motivation and energy. I just don't care anymore...
 
Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
I am morally obliged to CTH this occurrence:

Post cooking fish (woahhh! the most domestic I've been in ages - the microwave sulked and wouldn't talk to me) the electric frypan was covered in a moderately thick residue of butter, oil and crispy flour. I wondered why one of the cats spent the day lolling on the ground and discovered today a spic and span pan!
 


Posted by David (# 3) on :
 
Australia.

If tomorrow's election goes the way many commentators are predicting, I may well emigrate. If anyone will have me, that is.

I'm ashamed at what this nation has become.
 


Posted by aj (# 1383) on :
 
Yes - I hope the judgement is swift and the vote count doesn't drag on like it did somewhere else.
 
Posted by Weasel (# 360) on :
 
I CTH being at work and having to be here for another 2 and a half hours with NOTHING to do and I just want to go home cos its a Friday. Relatively unhellish really but I'm so bored...
 
Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Weasel:
I CTH being at work and having to be here for another 2 and a half hours with NOTHING to do and I just want to go home cos its a Friday. Relatively unhellish really but I'm so bored...

Come into the Cafe Weasel
 


Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
Australia's political parties.

It's the election and I seriously do not know who to vote for because all offerings are such crap. I want to make my vote informal but I morally can't bear to considering people died so I can vote and vote in a free country, and to honour people in countries that do not have the right to vote.

Labor - I will never vote for the party of the man (Kim Beasley) who helped destroy free Australian tertiary education in the 80s.

Liberal - Just dying to ream welfare recipients.

Greens - Seriously can't imagine a bunch of tree-huggers formulating foreign policy or running the country.

Pauline Hansen's One Nation Party - Hm. I have some conscience.

Australian Democrats - Present policies piss me orf.

What to do? Sigh.
 


Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
Oh yer. And.

Bring back Gough!
 


Posted by Nunc_Dimittis (# 848) on :
 
Ham'n'Eggs said:

quote:
TICTH the increasingly prevelant practice of shipmates changing names (and we are not talking merely about the adjective preceeding the wildfowl that takes their fancy). No, SidF decides after 150 posts that actually, MidnightStallion is a much cooler name, and confuses the heck out of everyone that takes note of peoples identities.
It is confusing, irritating, thoughtless, damages the community, and is possibly a bootable offence. But by my reckoning, at least 6 people with shipmate status have done this in the past month.


I changed my name to demonstrate it could be done, not for any other reason. I am sorry if this confused people.

I was most disappointed to find I cannot have my old name back, and have now had to resort to using the underscore between my first and last names. Grrrr.
 


Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
Ahhhhh. Yes. It's happening. The confusion is descending.

[Clutches head. Runs around in small circles making lowing noises]

17 C minimum overnight and 37 max today.

Sniff Sniff! I sat in Sizzlers for 3 hrs today, but I can't afford to eat there every day - How to avoid the heat? Wahhhh.

Best effin country in the world this is. Long as ya got air con.

TICTH: mid-spring, summer and early-autumn.
 


Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
In hot weather I like to spend my time in air-conditioned shopping malls or libraries. Obviously the library is easier on my purse.

Moo
 


Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
Dear Coot

Move to Hobart?
 


Posted by TonyK (# 35) on :
 
Dear Coot - and I was always lead to believe that Oz was the 'land of milk and honey' that we were all seeking!

Come to England - wet, yes, but cool most of the time. Rarely gets over 30C and then only for a day or two.

What more could you ask for
 


Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
In Florida, everyone has air conditioning, you need it about eight months out of the year. In fact, it's mid-November and mine is running as I type this.
 
Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
TICTH the result in the Australian federal election.

I am emigrating for sure..... but where?
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
Go to Florida, cos it has air-conditioning.

bb
 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
British climate? I think you have to be born to it. I love it myself, being averse to direct sunlight and high temperatures. Would like a bit more snow though.
 
Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl:
... being averse to direct sunlight and high temperatures.

From profile

Occupation : Systems Engineer

Yes, that fits, somehow.
 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
Git!

It's worrying how much like Scott Adam (Dilbert)'s description of the typical engineer I am.

Sad but true.

Personally, I reckon there's some as yet unrecognised autistic disorder akin to Asperger's Syndrome, and people who suffer from it end up being computer programmers, engineers and so forth.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Karl - you know I don't really mean it.

In our office, we have the Network people on the inside of the office, because they shrivel if they are exposed to light, and the programming staff by the windows, so they have something to do in the afternoons ( looking out of them ).

Seems to work well
 


Posted by Sibling Coot (# 220) on :
 
[Aside: Karl, you did know that they've done studies of Asperger's Syndr. children and the strongest correlation they found was having a father who was an engineer (the implication was that there was a mild form or tendency in the father, who as a result was suited to/found his way into engineering positions)]
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
TICTH:

Irritating people.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH People going the wrong way in tube stations, in the rush hour ( Morning particularly ).

I mean, if 500 people are coming towards you, don't you think finding the right way to get where you are going makes sense?


 


Posted by homerj (# 324) on :
 
TICTH the person or persons unknown who keep trying to infect my computor... and the computor itself for trying to save them the job of destroying it by being officially mad
 
Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
Alaric, thou knowest not the half of it. (LotR Film)

They've also given the elves pointy ears.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is right up there with horns on viking helmets.
 


Posted by JonathanMy (# 1246) on :
 
Has anybody mentioned journal editors and referees yet?

Jonathan
 


Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
ticth the person who wrote the travel directions for the library branch where i had a meeting this morning. they were totally useless, causing me (and a bunch of other people, i might add) to be horrifically late to the meeting.
 
Posted by Dyfrig (# 15) on :
 
TICTH the chair in my study. The screw that holds the back onto the frame (this being a swivel chair) keeps falling off.

However, what the chair doesn't know is that it is doomed.

Next Friday the bin man cometh and shall take it to its destruction MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
we don't have climate, we have weather.

TICTH TV

Angel
 


Posted by Ags (# 204) on :
 
TICTH the fact that I have to get up in 6 hours to go to work, on a Sunday, & I haven't even gone to bed yet!!

Cross Ags.
Going to bed


in a minute

 


Posted by jlg (# 98) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sibling Coot:
[Aside: Karl, you did know that they've done studies of Asperger's Syndr. children and the strongest correlation they found was having a father who was an engineer (the implication was that there was a mild form or tendency in the father, who as a result was suited to/found his way into engineering positions)]

My children are doomed! My husband and I are both engineers; part of our "courtship" was spent discussing the details of the Nova 2 and 3 circuit boards.
 


Posted by Amos (# 44) on :
 
Hi, Karl. Did you think before you posted that some of us out here might have Asperger's? Why not be really attractive and say your boss is a spastic retard?
 
Posted by Amos (# 44) on :
 
Whoops. Many apologies, Karl for posting before hooking up my synapses. You were saying you had AS. In that case, join the club.
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH the female reproductive system, which I never intend to use, but will carry on giving me grief every three weeks for the next thirty years.

The amount of stuff I've taken today I feel like a walking pharmacy, and still shit. Time to try hot chocolate.

Who's bright idea was it to make me female? Grrrrrrrrr.
 


Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Church related organisations and corporations which use one for a project then do not pay the agreed amount! Normally, it is not enough money to make it worthwhile to sue them (or one is not in a position to do so), but enough to make a difference for the vendor. This happened to me this week, on a payment that has been due since last March!

Also in this category are, for example, those who are musicians but do not need to earn their living at being such - and who, if several musicians participate in a programme for which they are paid, tell the others "we've decided to donate the fee back." Well, they are free to do that if they wish, but announcing it to the others has other overtones.
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH my reproductive system. Not satisfied with the pre-period pain mentioned earlier in this thread, I now have the same, post-period...

ARGH!
 


Posted by Ags (# 204) on :
 
TICTH the microwave that's just made my apple puff go all soggy


Love Ags


 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
TICTH
Relatives who, when asked for assistance with the running toilet (ie. could you pls. help me by paying for a plumber? Rich relative I might add), insist on doing it themselves. Oh yes. It is easy to pull the cistern apart. Then they leave you to re-install the central column, which is almost impossible without the correct tools. Now. Unable to re-install it, you ask them to come and do it... of course they can't. Because you need a special tool. So they tell you to have a go. Predictably a piece breaks off the very old and brittle plastic. Surprisingly, the column now slides easily into place. And it is all your fault. See. They've put it in place. If only you hadn't broken that piece off it would stay there perfectly. You calmly point out that the only reason it is sliding into place is because there is a piece broken off. But no. It's all your fault. They overlook the fact that they asked you to do it because they couldn't apply enough pressure and if they had, they likely would have broken it too. They leave, without caring that they haven't chocked the float up, so that water is racing out of the cistern contributing to the water bill which you try to keep to a minimum. Oh yes. And as they leave they tell you that now it will probably cost $300. Of bloody course not. Maybe $10 for a new plastic column. And you know what. It will probably break again. Or maybe not, because it will be new supple plastic. And the extra expense will be all your fault. Don't forget it. They earn a 5 figure sum per annum and you have caused them extra expense.

I think I also CTH my depressing existence in a house with broken electrics, stove, aircon, light fittings; concrete floors and blocked plumbing on a constantly noisy road. And I live in hope for a day when I will be rich. Then I will be decadent and selfish and my camel will not fit through the eye of a needle. I will surround myself with a mountain of material things. Especially a pair of Doc Martens, the finest frozen lasagna I can buy, computer games as the fancy takes me and I will go out for coffee as if it were an autonomic nervous function. I will also buy full meals at Sizzlers instead of just the salad bar.

Then I will tell God and the Church to shove it.

Leunig (paraphrase):
'Here I am unemployed, unimportant. And there you are. Wealthy. Powerful. You own money, material things, human souls in massive, sickening, criminal quantities. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT???!!!!'

'I sleep on a king-size, auto-massage, water bed, with piped music, in a quiet street with a companion whose beauty would make you weep with desire.'
 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
HnnnnnArghhhhh.


 
Posted by Nunc_Dimittis (# 848) on :
 
Coot, you're Christmas list makes me feel very guilty... I only wear Docs... have ever since I started uni. It means I have no other shoes, but that's OK. I also have a house with OK plumbing (even if it is 40 years old), electricity and water paid for, and a car the maintainance of which is paid for - and not by me.

But if I were out on my own, I would be living on baked beans. And I will have no income whatever from now till (hopefully if I can get a scholarship) March. I am wondering how I am going to make $700 last 3 months covering food, phone and petrol - given that I will be away all through December and therefore not obliged to spend anything. At the moment I am chewing through about that much a month...
 


Posted by Nunc_Dimittis (# 848) on :
 
Today ICTH

The weather, which has turned as cold as the middle of winter.

The perpetual fog over my future, and the closed doors in every direction in which I turn.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
(((Nunc)))
 
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :
 
Today ICTH the PC at work which yesterday failed to save the data from the experiment I was doing (I discovered it today when I came to process the data), thus wrecking the piece of work and wasting my entire day.

I now reconsign the same PC back to hell, as it began the day doing what it was supposed to do, but has now turned round, blown a virtual-raspberry and is ditching my data again.

Since I can’t actually throw the PC off a cliff - a) it’s not mine and b) there aren’t any cliffs handy – I’m going to have to content myself with this…

GRRRRRRR

 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Monday. Read Guardian media jobs section, find that most of the jobs you can do pay less than you are on, and others require you to know Quark Express. Check specialist recruitment agencies, ditto.

Tuesday. Check employment agencies jobs site, find that most of the jobs you can do pay less than you are on, and others require you to have skills you don't have and can't get without being in the job already. Spend evening writing job applications anyway.

Wednesday. Check recruitment agencies again for midweek updates, with same results. Check local newsagents' windows for affordable places to rent then give up.

Thursday. Consider changing career direction for 6th time. Get rejection letters from last week's applications.

Friday. Scour local paper for properties to rent, but decide you can't live on 2/5ths of your salary. Check local jobs section and find that everything you can do pays less than you are on. Look through Bookseller jobs section and wish you had a specialist degree, spoke 6 languages, and use Quark Express.

Saturday. Go out all day to avoid landlord's kids.

Sunday. Go out all afternoon at short notice in the rain for 6 hours to avoid landlord's kids and their visitors. Contemplate the meaning of life, and decide there isn't one.

Monday. Buy Guardian media section.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH a plaster repair product from an un-named ( but parrot related )DIY company.

Ideal for patching plasterwork up, it said. Does not crack or shrink it said.

No, it doesn't crack or shrink, it cracks and shrinks. Meaning I had to do some more patching to the patches.


 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
And ICTH Microsoft and Windows and anything else that Bill produces.

I have broken the windows installer, so I can't re-install anything. Including the Windows Installer. Aaaargh

 


Posted by Beenster (# 242) on :
 
TICTH

the penis-brained jerk who crashed into me while i was hobbling painfully down the steps to the tube ... I have hurt my back and this ugly tedious brainless nob-head was desperate to throw me to the ground in order to catch the tube ...

We both missed the tube - a consequence of the fact that I refused to fall down the stairs however hard he tried to push me.

He then proceeded to yell at me that he had missed the tube and berated me for having been in teh way. I apologised (more fool me but I know how he feels it is frustrating) and said I had a bad back which is why I was less than nimble and pointed out that there was another tube in 2 minutes time ...

He then continued to hurl insults at me, lunatic, idiotic, selfish were a few of the words that I heard ... by this time there was quite a large crowd.

My parting shot as he legged it to the next tube was for him to get over himself.

I also consign myself to hell for not ensuring that I sat next to him on the tube journey and for not making cheap remarks such as "i suppose a shag is out of the question now" - well i would have felt better about it.
 


Posted by Louise (# 30) on :
 
Today I consign to hell -

ME - for having forgotten my keys *&%$£"!!!

People who think they have a right to know where I am and for me to be contactable to them 24hours a day and who can't handle it if I'm away from my phones for a few days.

It's NONE of their *&^%$£"!!! business!

Now I have to calm down and explain to this person tomorrow, that No, I have not been kidnapped by aliens, and no, it is none of her business where I've been.

And I'm not very good at dealing with these things calmly.


All this because I went away for some peace and quiet...

L.
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
Oh, dear, Louise. Sometimes peace and quiet are more trouble than they're worth. Surely you have learned this by now??

tomb
 


Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Louise:
All this because I went away for some peace and quiet...

how about saying

"Thanks for your concern. I just fancied a few days away from things. It was absolutely lovely!" and then walk off in a dreamy fashion....


OR

"It is none of your business where I was, or who I was with, or what I was doing. No, no. I refuse to answer any questions on the grounds that it might incriminate me."

You would have to start that one with a slight smile, then increase the size of the smile until you were grinning from ear to ear.


bb
 


Posted by Louise (# 30) on :
 
Praise be! Prayer has occasionally been known to work even on my short temper.

Managed to listen almost calmly to the recitation of the extremely non-urgent matter, said person had thought it worth leaving five increasingly hysterical messages on my phones for.

Due to wonderful display of 'pretending to care' I managed to avoid any awkward questions as to where I'd been, instead of being instantly at the beck and call of person with not-very-urgent-or-important query.

Not sure that 'Lord teach me to pretend to care!' is exactly a wonderful motto, but it's an improvement on screaming 'Tell it to someone who cares!!!' down the phone.

Eventually I'll work up to the 'actually caring' bit - but I'm not there yet!

Louise
 


Posted by frin (# 9) on :
 
TICTH that 5 mins after I dragged myself out of bed in order to be dressed when the central heating engineers would turn up (10 mins later), they rang and cancelled. Now they won't be here till after we move all of Dyfrig's stuff in. Bah.

I also CTH that I've run out of logs and the coal merchant isn't answering the phone. No heat for me.

'frin
 


Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
Uruguay
 
Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cusanus:
Uruguay

I second that consigning.


 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
I guess that means we lost, ay?
 
Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
You could say that - lost three nil.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
I presume you mean a particular sports team from Uruguay rather than the whole country?
 
Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
quote:
I presume you mean a particular sports team from Uruguay rather than the whole country?

Right now the idea that the country even exists and plays sport is a raw throbbing wound, but in the fullness of time we will forgive everyone except the soccer team and their more agressive supporters.


[fixed the UBB code. I live to serve.]

[ 27 November 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
TICTH the Jefferson County Clerk for summoning me to jury duty the !#@$%O *#$^* week before Christmas.

Just let those bozos DARE to empanel me....
 


Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
This being a shopping season, I am sure many of us have visited online sites which sell books, videos, and the like and invite customer reviews. Often, I'll admit I find these useful, but I do consign to hell those who "review" a book without referring to its contents or style (many of which begin with something like "Oprah chose this one"); who don't realise that a film review is intended to comment on its own merits, and that no one gives a damn whether "she's my favourite actress"; those which assume that C. S. Lewis is a heathen (or the equivalent); or, worst of all, those who write their review only to blast other reviewers who didn't agree with them. Somehow, the moment I see anything such as "it is for the whole family," I know it is a loser.
 
Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
The flu...all 4 of us had it this weekend (imagine the smell (there should be a "smilie face" for this, but I can't decide which one)). Fortunately, we are all recovering now.
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
ticth the f***ing idiots who wander around busy supermarkets with their heads up their arses. stopping to have a daydream in the middle of a busy and crowded lane. walking backwards, walking very quickly then stopping. Bring brats who throw shit on the floor or who fall out of trolleys and then wail cos the floor is hard. parking their trolleys in the narrowest bit of the whole freaking place then staring at the sugar for 4 minutes (ITS SUGAR JUST TAKE ONE) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh

P
 


Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
You're all too correct about the grocery stores, Pyx_e, and reminded me that shopping for clothes is worse yet, especially in stores where sales ladies "help."

"I'm interested in a purple dress." - "They are wearing neutrals this season." (Well, they may do as they please.. I didn't tell you to tell me what I wanted.)

"That style is wonderful - see how it slims you!" (I came to shop, not to be insulted, bitch.)

Though I must admit that I smile, when I annually trek to the cosmetics counter at Selfridge's to have the makeup artiste "do" my face for New Year's Eve (and buy some new eye shadow) that I'm always told diplomatically that the concealer and foundation will keep me from looking "tired." (I am indeed tired... but it's nice of them not to say "old.")
 


Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
TICTH the Jefferson County Clerk for summoning me to jury duty the !#@$%O *#$^* week before Christmas.

Just let those bozos DARE to empanel me....


Fool proof ways to avoid being empanelled:
(a) stare menacingly at defendant and mouth 'you're a goner mate'
(b) blow kiss at defendant
(c) blow kiss at prosecution/plaintiff

Any of these will definately lead to the other party objecting to you.

Of course, you might get done for contempt, but you will get out of jury duty!
 


Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by sakura:
Fool proof ways to avoid being empanelled:
(a) stare menacingly at defendant and mouth 'you're a goner mate'
(b) blow kiss at defendant
(c) blow kiss at prosecution/plaintiff

Any of these will definately lead to the other party objecting to you.

Of course, you might get done for contempt, but you will get out of jury duty!


... or, be a tax auditor - defense attornies do not like anyone who has anything to do with any kind of law enforcement
 


Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
does your state practice the death penalty? if it does, make a display about being opposed at all costs. if it doesn't, do the opposite. ham it up.
 
Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
TICTH - Jagmohan Dalmiya and the rest of the Board of Control for Cricket in India, plus the Indian Selectors.

Five days before a Test Match is no time to have a power battle. If they end up with a riot at Mohali next Monday because England refuse to play it's no more than the BCCI deserve!
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by sharkshooter:
... or, be a tax auditor - defense attornies do not like anyone who has anything to do with any kind of law enforcement

Thanks for the suggestions, guys. Actually, I've always found an almost foolproof method of avoiding jury duty is to wear a tie. Scares the defense attorneys, because they figure nobody in professional dress will be sympathetic to their client (a lawyer told me about that particular dodge).

As to the death penalty, Colorado does have the death penalty, but the summons was for county, not district court--which probably means civil and not criminal cases, so shall most likely not have to worry about that.

Unless, of course, the damn district attorney decides to empanel a Grand Jury to investigate the Grinch or somesuch.

And in spite of being completely opposed to the death penalty, I'll probably be so querulous that close to Christmas that I'll scream "Off With Their Heads" and they'll carry me out of the box feet first having a fit.
 


Posted by bessie rosebride (# 1738) on :
 
I was in the not too distant past in immediate danger of being empaneled for a Grand Jury - meaning a service of one week each month for an entire year!

In panic and desperation, I rashly pulled aside the officiating person and whispered to him that I had just been released from a psychiatric hospital and was on lots of mind-altering drugs. He promptly dismissed me.
 


Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Clichés.

Today, following a week when lots of pain had been amplified, I was in such depression and tension that I felt tears coming while I was in my office, and I slipped outside, to an area where I thought no one was. I didn't realise that someone else was nearby, and saw the tears on my cheeks.

Her immediate response was, "There are people in the world who have it worse than you." (For the record, she had no knowledge of what was paining me.)

Yes - indeed there are! I'm not terminally ill, or being bombed in Afghanistan, or sleeping in the street. But does that mean my own pain is "invalid"?!

It reminds me of a man I knew , who, if he saw anybody in pain, would say, "You woke up this morning! Lots of people didn't!"

True! And they are the lucky ones!
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
(((Newmann)))
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
[oops, one n, sorry]
 
Posted by Qestia (# 717) on :
 
Oh, Newman's Own, I hate to think of people being such jerks to you, or you being in pain period. I always read your posts eagerly, knowing that you will always be adding something thoughtful and kind. So I second Joan's hug.
 
Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Thank you, Qestia and Joan! I'm so grateful for your affirmation that I'll not even use the board to pour out all the things that are tearing me apart!
 
Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH a misbehaving body.

Angel does not understand.

Angel has been ill for 2 weeks, and went down a dress size and 2 ring sizes. She has visibly shrunk. Angel hasn't lost any weight. this does not compute. it is not muscle change.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Today I'm roasting Personnel people who advertise a job on a Friday, but don't send you the stuff until two days before the closing date, so you have only one evening to write an outstanding and well-considered application before you have to post it the next morning in the hope it will get there for the following day. Idiots.
 
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
ticth the jerk whos been running a scam on the library for several years now involving identity theft and fraudulent library cards, leading to massive amounts of stolen material, and causing me to get a piteous phone call from a guy today who's the latest victem. grrrrrr.......
 
Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
..whoever runs a mailing list that has been sending massive amounts of spam these past few weeks. (Various different addresses - but it seems all from the same source.) The mail says to reply to the message to unsubscribe, and anyone who does not only remains subscribed but ends up responding to everyone else who received the spam...

Ditto to whomever hacked into a religious site (owned by someone I know) and replaced the graphics with pornographic images.
 


Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
TICTH freezing rain and th quarter inch of ice on the sidewalks and streets
 
Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
For heaven's sake, Shark, you live in Canada, and it's almost December.

Deal with it.

Perhaps you and the Coot could get together and trade complaints.

I can imagine it now:

"I'll see you a chillblain and raise you two prickly heats."

Of course, the two of you could establish a Subscription Service and both move to the tropics.

But then, I daresay, you'd be complaining about the Inexorable Fungus that was slowing absorbing your extremities.

There's no pleasing some people.
 


Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
TICTH the nameless (Thomsons) phone directory people who mistakenly put my name in the phone book as belonging to a construction company. Obviously this results in dozens of irritating calls from people looking for builders, work or to sell me things I don't want.

I work shifts and there is genuinely nothing more annoying then having some punter phoning me up 10 minutes after I've finally fallen asleep after a long night shift.

TIalsoCTH the woman who works for the above nameless (Thomsons) telephone directory who told me today that it wasn't their responsibility to make sure the numbers were correct ('Did you not read the small print in the phone book?' 'No because until recently I didn't know my number WAS in the phone book.') and whose only advice is to get an answermachine (Exactly how will that stop me waking up) or change my number (I've only just remembered this one).

AAAAAAARRRGGGHHH - have just spent a night shift planning reprisals (he he he wicked laugh). Could I possibly piss them off as much as they have me. Suggestions on a postcard please.
 


Posted by Islandexile (# 1340) on :
 
TICTH
Four-inch flying cochroaches
and
barely-scopic ants that come by the score
 
Posted by Sparkle (# 895) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Islandexile:
TICTH
Four-inch flying cochroaches
and
barely-scopic ants that come by the score

Oh my word - where do you live?! Remind me never EVER to go there!

TICTH People who think Im stupid for caring that George Harrison is dead. If you dont like him then fine, but I am really gutted!
 


Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
TICTH the nameless (Thomsons) phone directory people who mistakenly put my name in the phone book as belonging to a construction company. Obviously this results in dozens of irritating calls from people looking for builders, work or to sell me things I don't want.

<snip>

AAAAAAARRRGGGHHH - have just spent a night shift planning reprisals (he he he wicked laugh). Could I possibly piss them off as much as they have me. Suggestions on a postcard please.


quote from Islandexile
------------------------------------------
TICTH
Four-inch flying cochroaches
and
barely-scopic ants that come by the score
-------------------------------------------

Maybe Islandexile could send you some of his cockroaches and ants to pass along to the directory people.

Moo
 


Posted by Arietty (# 45) on :
 
Re people who say you could be worse off - my parents were great for that, I suffered from depression for most of my childhood & adolescence, whenever I was asked why I looked so miserable and said I felt sad, I would get a big lecture on how other people were worse off, I had nothing to be depressed 'about' and then a long list of people who were cheerful under terrible circumstances.

On one memorable occasion I was told 'at least you've got legs'!!
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH

the A$$holes who are having a party right outside my bedroom window, right now.

myself - for feeling so crappy, I forgot to go and buy fruit.

and this virus, because it won't go away.

Angel
 


Posted by Nunc_Dimittis (# 848) on :
 
TICTH my bowels. Grrrr Just when I get on holidays my IBS decides, "hey, she's taking a break - let's make her take frequent breaks in her favourite place - the lavatory!!!"
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
Not sparked off by anything today, but something that's been bugging me for ages:

TICTH the fact that, almost invariably, the person who I love (platonically), admire and wish approbation from is the one in front of whom I manage to look like a complete idiotic attention-seeking shallow juvenile pain in the neck. How the hell could he ever like me and do anything more than put up with me out of Christian charity?

Oh hell.
 


Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
ticth , members of my church who think the 5 pointed star they have bought for the Christmas tree is "lovely" and "better than that tatty old thing" ( that tatty old thing being very tatty but at keast having 6 points). I can not help shudder and laugh my ass off at churches I go into with a Pentagram at the summit of their tree. But then the whole tree thing is pagan anyway SO SHOT ME NOW ............. mutter mutter ....... bastards.

P
 


Posted by Tim Vaughan (# 830) on :
 
TICTH the ways blokes' brains are wired which involves becoming some sort of dribbling grunting idiot whenever the girl in front of whom they really don't want to appear stupid turns up. I would like categorically to state that I am actually pretty funny and bright, most of the time but for some reason all this girl has to do is appear in my field of view and I just can't string a sentence together. Plus, the effect seems to obey some sort of inverse-square law so the closer she gets the more tongue tied I get. Why? Does this get better as you get older? I am 20, for goodness sake...
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
It's a hellish few days...

TICTH myself yesterday, for forgetting to take my medication with me when going out all day. Thus when I nose-dived unexpectedly there was nothing I could do about it, so I spent the run-through before the advent procession feeling dreadful and trying not to snap at people, and the first bit of the service in tears and trying to hide it. I wanted desparately to cry during Benediction, but as an acolyte in front of that many people I was NOT going to.

Grrr grrr humph. Note to self, always carry spare meds.
 


Posted by Qestia (# 717) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Arietty:
Re people who say you could be worse off - my parents were great for that, I suffered from depression for most of my childhood & adolescence, whenever I was asked why I looked so miserable and said I felt sad, I would get a big lecture on how other people were worse off, I had nothing to be depressed 'about' and then a long list of people who were cheerful under terrible circumstances.

On one memorable occasion I was told 'at least you've got legs'!!


My mother used to tell me (this AFTER my first suicide attempt) "You could be happy if you wanted to be." Maybe that's true for the much of the population, but what I really needed, and never got for any effective period, was professional HELP!

But I'm better now regardless, so I guess I must have chosen happiness at some point?

******************

TICTH my group project. Of course the big research paper for my first graduate-level course is a group project--otherwise the professor would have to read all those extra papers! So instead of our paper, due Wednesday, being done by now, it is still being squabbled about.

I and one other person had made an effort to WRITE something for the paper before the whole group met Saturday for what was supposed to be a run-through of the whole thing to put it into a final draft. I had been e-mailing the first draft (which barely included half what the final draft will) to all the group members for 3 weeks BEGGING them to add to it so we wouldn't have to write the paper from scratch on Saturday. Well they couldn't be bothered to, so Saturday we met for hours. After arguing for hours over what one section of the paper should contain, I asked that we just leave what we had written for now and continue on to make a draft of the next two sections. At which point one of the non-contributers says to me, "But we HAVE to finish this now, it's due Wednesday!" Well, no kidding! That's why I'd been begging her to write something before then. We ended up never getting farther than that section so I had to write the results and discussion on my own as well as the abstract and making 4 charts and now I am e-mailing the file around begging them to look it over before Wednesday. And the chance of them doing so is nil.


 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
TICTH people who think that speeding is a right, not a criminal offence.

Especially given that the spineless government has capitulated and said that all speed cameras have to be painted bright yellow so we can see them.

Bollocks. The only thing that'll deter people is the thought that there might be a camera in the bushes. Why do we treat speeding like it's a game, where people have the right to know if they can get caught or not? It's not. It's a criminal offence and offenders have to accept that if they get caught that's their tough shit.
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
TODAY I CONSIGN TO HELL the mindless piece of cat vomit who called in a Bomb Threat to my son's school.

The younger children ended up cowering in the basement of a nearby building while the older students stood in the cold at the edge of the parking lot ("out of the way of flying debris if anything happens" according to the SWAT commander).

This is Jefferson County, for God's sake, home of Columbine High School. When a co-worker ran up to me and told me that "something bad is happening at your son's school" I thought I was going to be sick I was so frightened.

It was a hoax, of course. Good thing I'm not liable to get my hands on the little bastard, though, before the Law catches him. I'd rip off his testicles and stuff them in his ears (I imagine they'd be just about the right size to fit.)

And this on the day after the State Department issues another warning about "unspecified terrorist threats."

There isn't enough Gin in the world to calm me down right now.

tomb
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
((((tomb))))
 
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
ticth the bacteria living in my inner ears causing the ear infection i'm currently suffering from.

but i'll show them... 10 days worth of erthyromycin should have them cowering in fear. and i can pretend that the ringing in my right ear is their dying screams...
 


Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH the anti-biotics that have given me candida albicans and a lovely rash. And not got rid of what they were treating me for.

Great
Angel
 


Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
TICTH my current workload, which is so overwhelming that I have reached a stage of panicked apathy.

I also CTH my almost pathological capacity for procrastination which sees me posting to these boards when I should be working.
 


Posted by bessie rosebride (# 1738) on :
 
TICTH the newest manipulative tactic of the administrative staff of my office (I feel a little uneasy consigning fellow Christians to Hell, even tho they are way annoying )

It's known as "MAKING EMOTIONAL DEPOSITS",
by giving compliments and saying kind things - kind of like a bank account into which you deposit "warm fuzzies" for the person, so they will take some of the sting out of the "cold pricklies" which will be sure to come. And to manipulate you later to advance their agenda. By having built up this stack of goodwill gestures, so the thinking goes - the evil punch will not hurt as much and the fly will be willing to be mauled and eaten by the spider.

This is such a cold tactic. Giving an insincere compliment, with hidden negative motives. GRRRRRRR
 


Posted by Pig (# 1919) on :
 
TICTH the mental health center that, when I finally got the nerve to call and request some sort of depression screening (and maybe even treatment of some sort) told me that they are only open during the hours I have to work, so they can't see me. No openings during Christmas holidays, either.

Oh, well.
 


Posted by Miss Nomer (# 1430) on :
 
TICTH my manager who has just banned us from using the discussion boards at any time whilst in the office

What am I supposed to do when I am stuck here all night in the office with the phone not ringing so no work to do
 
Posted by bessie rosebride (# 1738) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pig:
TICTH the mental health center that, when I finally got the nerve to call and request some sort of depression screening (and maybe even treatment of some sort) told me that they are only open during the hours I have to work, so they can't see me. No openings during Christmas holidays, either.

That's really hellish
So sad.

Please don't give up in your attempt to get screening and treatment (at least a counselor to talk with).. Is there no chance of getting off from work long enough to go in?

Hugs.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Can I second Bess.

{{{{pig}}}}

Find a way to get some help - it is important. Take a day off? Do their Christmas holidays completely match yours ( Yes I guess they probably do ! )

Not very hellish, but we're all with you Pig!
 


Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
And I'll third it.

Take the couple of hours off work that you need to see them. Surely your workplace has facility time for doctors, dentists etc? Or can you negotiate a work-late for a leave-early? You don't have to explain*, but just say 'I need this time. It is important. I'm prepared to do anything reasonable to make sure the business doesn't suffer'.

Failing that, take sick leave.

*Firenze's First Law: Never apologise; never explain.
 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
The common or garden GP/general practitioner (not sure what you call 'em in the states) is usually adept at diagnosing and prescribing for depression. They're the ones that write referrals to the specialists after all (here anyway). Some people I know with mild/moderate depression have their GP prescribe and manage their illness without ever sending them to a psychiatrist.
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
I'm consigning myself to Hell. I don't know why because I'm already there. I've just turned down a job. It pays 2000 more than I'm on, it's in a nice location with some lovely people. It's a relaxed atmosphere, it wouldn't be too demanding.

And I've turned it down on the grounds that I'd be bored. That I wouldn't learn anything, get any marketable skills, that there's no career development. That it's a very small company with little contact with the outside world and it would be claustrophobic. First interview, second interview, meet the team, get referees to write in, even plan my farewell speech. Two and a half years spent trying to get out of my current job and get the money to move out of my current flat. Nights of black despair, days spent wishing I was dead. And I just throw it away when I'm offered it. As if these things grow on trees.

And I have another interview on Monday somewhere else. Will I, won't I, do I want to, what if, yes but. Here we go again.
 


Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
People who celebrate Christmas during Advent.

Alexis
 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
People who celebrate Christmas during Advent.

Alexis


I'll second that, Alexis,

Last year about htis time I had a wedding in my church. The mother of the bride (MOB) could not understand (in spite of numerous attemts to explain) why we had to have those "hiddeous" purple paraments and purple candles on the advent wreath.

"But it's a _Christmas_ wedding!" She tried to tell me.

"We are still in _ADVENT_", I tried to explain, to little avail. She wanted EVERYTHING in red and white. It all looked much more appropriate for Valentine's Day than Christmas.

(Don't get me started about the three foot tall fiberoptic angel she wanted to put on top of the pulpit )
 


Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
We just don't do weddings in Advent. Or Lent. Or the other 2 major fasts.

Rdr Alexis
 


Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
(Don't get me started about the three foot tall fiberoptic angel she wanted to put on top of the pulpit )

Sorry, Campbellite, but I'm going to get you started. I'm having trouble imagining a fiberoptic angel. My mind refuses to encompass the idea.

Moo
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH up-their-own-arse students who use non-standard notation in their answers to problem sheets and who write REALLY small and make marking so DAMN ANNOYING (especially late at night when you've been doing it all day). And I bet he's going to get stroppy in the class tomorrow because there's lots of green-ink scribbles on his paper.
 
Posted by rachel_o (# 1258) on :
 
TICTH - Microsoft, in all its glory - despite the fact that I am currently using IE.

Why?

I exported a file as text for the specific reason that I wanted to import it into Excel. By the time it got to Excel having been in transit from one computer to another, Microsoft has inexplicably turned it into a web page, which excel then couldn't find any columns in. Hence necessitating making whole new text files. Several times, since I had several data sets.

Grrr.

Rachel.
 


Posted by Bongo (# 778) on :
 
TICTH the DHSS.

I have been unemployed for 3 months and I'm starting my own business (first day of trading:7th Jan). You'd think that the job centre would greet such a spirit of entrepeneurialism (sp?!) with cries of unadulterated joy. Hah!!

It would seem that becoming a self-employed tax-paying member of society is, in fact, a VERY BAD THING. I'm supposed to take a sh***y, badly-paid, cleaning job instead, because that's "a proper job".

Because I'm a naughty girl for saying no, they're threatening to withdraw my benefit payments. Just in time for Christmas.

What is the point of trying to make something of yourself when the benefits system has been (deliberately) DESIGNED to squash your dreams and thwart you at every turn??

Bongo

(seething!)
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
People who celebrate Christmas during Advent.

Alexis


Am I wrong, or does that include most of us because 25th December is still in the Orthodox Advent?
 


Posted by Little Miss Chatterbox (# 86) on :
 
TICTH British Midland Airlines, or whatever they've renamed themselves recently . Not only to they change the first leg of my outward bound flight and increase the change-overtime by 3 hours and subsequently force me to arrive to check in at Edinburgh at 4.30 AM on a Saturday .... they decide that it would be fun to do that on the way back too. So now I have about 5 hours in between changing planes at Manchester Airport next Saturday, from 05:50 till about 10:30. What am I supposed to do in that time? Sleep would be greta, but have you ever noticed that there aren't enought benches to lie on, or if you're lucky enough to get one, that they're designed at just the right angle to make you fall on to the floor when you're just drifting off!!!
 
Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
Sorry, Campbellite, but I'm going to get you started. I'm having trouble imagining a fiberoptic angel. My mind refuses to encompass the idea.

Moo


Well, Moo, it's like this...

The monstrosity is about 2 feet tall, and has a similar wingspan. The wings are composed of optic fibers which are connected to a light source inside. The colors change from red to orange to yellow to green to blue to purple and back to red. Lots of glitter and sequins cover the whole thing. MOB thought it was simply BEE-YOU-TEE-FUL. (Where is the barf smilie?)

I finally convinced her that if it was left on the pulpit, the pictures would make it look like the brides head was sprouting wings like a Viking. The hiddeous fiberoptic monstrosity ended up in a relatively unobtrusive spot on top of the piano. (Hidden among the poinsettias.)
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Cambellite - it sounds so lovely.

One of the things I hate about this time of year is the way some people do up their houses. I don't like ( but don't mind ) some external decoration, but the over-the-top tastelessness of some people around here really has to be seen to be believed.

They would adore a fibreoptic angel

( nearest I can get to puking smilie )
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
Why there is an Angel/Fairy on the top of the Christmas Tree


It was christmas eve, Santa was not a happy bunny. The elves had been on strike for higher pay and better conditions (the workshop was too cold, apparently, the chief negotiator wanted to move the whole shooting match from the North Pole to Mustique). Santa himself was just coming down with a cold and was convinced that it was going to turn into 'flu.

Mrs Claus had just announced that her mother was arriving on Boxing Day to stay....permanently. Rudolf had also announced that the reindeer had an outbreak of foot and mouth disease and he wasn't sure that he could raise a full eight to pull the sleigh.

At this moment the doorbell rang, it was the Christmas Fairy(/Angel) "Santa," she cried, "I've got your Christmas Tree, where shall I put it?"

............
 


Posted by Benedictus (# 1215) on :
 
TITCH the practice of at least one clergyman (notice I am not consigning the clergyman) of a highly irregular sect of our fundamentalist brethren. He makes fun during his church service of those churches that do not permit older children to dance in or run up and down the aisles during church and who have "music that would put wild animals to sleep." All this in front of my impressionable 11 year old daughter, who regularly attends a moderately high Episcopal church. I really didn't need this, and I don't think she did either.
 
Posted by Lou Poulain (# 1587) on :
 
TICTH bad religious art, and I ESPECIALLY consign TH bad modifications to good religious art.
True story - worth a chuckle perhaps.
At my former RC parish there is a large and quite beautiful statue of the Risen Christ (truly GOOD art). A very conservative member of the parish convinced the pastor that the statue should be decorated for Christ the King Sunday. So the folk were treated to a vision of the statue draped in gold lame and crowned with a (I kid you NOT!) Burger King paper crown spray painted gold and sprinkled with gold glitter.
It makes me VERY glad I've moved over to the EC.
Lou
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
I'm not particularly consigning anyone or anything to Hell, but I'm writing on this thread because I seem to live here. [Hello Carmel, I see you have moved in]

I went to the charismatic evangelical church I occasionally visit - all went well until the intercessions when 3 young, healthy (teen) men stood up and prayed. I think I am speaking with Holy Spirit discernment when I say that the first 2 were clanging cymbals and show ponies. I wondered how much struggle and life experience they'd had. There was the usual high density 'Father Gods' and the stream of enthusiastic hackneyed prayer talk which says nothing, then they spent a good 10 minutes praying against homosexual law reform. The whole of it. I wonder if they even knew what was in it. Including equal opportunity, funereal rights, next-of-kin, nearest relative. (Thank goodness for the last young man who prayed humbly on behalf of the whole world)

It was not so much prayer against homosexual law reform but against homosexuals. The first young man declared vehemently 'WE CHOOSE LIFE', as if being homosexual is choosing death.

Wood: there is a worse thing for an evangelical than to be considered a liberal... that is, that one is going straight to Hell.

I left straight after the intercessions and went home and cried. Shoulda stayed with the tat. Even if I do not hear enough that I am saved by grace through the atoning blood of Jesus in his sacrifice on the cross in my stead, the perfect oblation made once and for all for the sins of the whole world. ;~~(~
 


Posted by Amos (# 44) on :
 
Coot--a hug and a great whiff of virtual incense heading your way.
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
(((Coot))). And your very own 2x2 censing. And carismatic flag-waving.

Choose Life? Sounds like it's them who haven't. *hugs*
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
TICTH little children who will not SHUT UP in movies!!!!


But then, I guess it's my fault for both sitting near them and choosing a children's film in the first place...
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
I'm not particularly consigning anyone or anything to Hell, but I'm writing on this thread because I seem to live here. [Hello Carmel, I see you have moved in]

Hello Coot, pop round for virtual tea some time. I think all you can do with people like that is to try not to take them seriously. I know it's hard but as you say they have no life experience and it's a case of "Father forgive them for they know not what they say". You don't know what life has in store for them, anyway.

I've decided that Hell is a place where no matter how hard you try nothing ever really changes, and things on the horizon always only ever remain on the horizon. I've just been offered even more money to take this job I don't want. But should I really swop one boring claustrophobic dead-end job for an even more so one just because of the money?
 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
My god I'm having a beaut day! I just had a tangle with a security man in the church car park. Having gone to Evensong to expiate the day's nastiness and cleanse my soul unto virtue, I returned to my car to find the gate to the car park locked. Hm. But as luck would have it, at that very moment the roll-a-door rose and 2 security men walked out. I smiled at them and made to enter.
'I'm sorry you can't go in there'.
(Uh? Many other cars of the building's tenants are in there who will be personally let out by the car park attendant)
'My car's in there.'
'I'm sorry I can't let you go in there.'
Coot thinks: Well. The door's open so whaddaya gunna do about it.
The Coot runs in shouting 'Don't close the gate, or I'll be crashing through it'.
[I feel a bit better now]
Security man closes gate.
Blast. Do I really want to dent my car?
No. (Search around for manual override to roll-a-door)
Security man returns. Friend outside remonstrates with security man. Security man decides it is clearly better to have troublemaker outside car park than loose amongst all the circuitry.
Security man opens door.
Coot drives off happily with friend after one last mouthful of invective at security man.

God I love being a loving, forgiving, other-cheek-turning, christian. YES! (clenched fist victory salute)

[Lucky for him I'm fairly sedate at the moment]
 


Posted by Akeldama (# 277) on :
 
TICTH

Boredom, been bored out of my tree all weekend. Am so, very, very bored.
 


Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Akeldama you'd better join 'Holier than thou' who posted in his profile that his favourite board was :'I'm bored'.
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
not really consigning this to hell, but the stories about tacky religious art remind me of the psychedlic statue of Mary that my husband's grandmother was given as a present in the sixties...she couldn't bear to have it in her home, but wasn't sure how to "dispose" of it...didn't seem quite right to toss it out in the trash...she put it in a paper bag and visited the local convent, placed it in a corner when nobody was watching (ha!), and just knew the nuns would know what to do with it.
 
Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
TICTH

Electronic muzak (or any other sort of music) played by the "worship group" (sic) as a background during the prayers of intercession. God does not require our prayers to be prettied up for Him, the congregation generally found it a distraction (except for the hard of hearing, for whom it was the only thing they could hear during the prayers) and the person reading the prayers said afterwards that it was a struggle for her not to start trying to sing them, in tune to the musak.

What will be the next thing that gets a musical accompaniment? Any suggesttions of suitable tunes to go with the Euchaistic prayer, anyone.

And the day started so well, with a nice quiet 1662 BCP HC service. Just when I thought it was safe to go back to the church, Family Worship happened.

Enought to make me consider joining the Quakers.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
What will be the next thing that gets a musical accompaniment? Any suggesttions of suitable tunes to go with the Euchaistic prayer, anyone.

Anglican chant, of course
 


Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
Anglican chant, of course


Fair point, but we need something that can be produced on an electronic keyboard and electric guitar.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
How about 'John Brown's Body':

Jesus took the bread and wine and said "Do this for me"
(x3)
And liturgy marches on.

Glory, Glory alleluia
He said to use a keyboard and a synthesiser-er
Our OHP and Misson Praise beats any biretta:
The liturgy marches on!

[Yes, before you ask, I am in an extremely silly mood at the moment. I shall now take myself off to Vespers.]
 


Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:

[Yes, before you ask, I am in an extremely silly mood at the moment. I shall now take myself off to Vespers.]


Come back soon.

Unfortunately I've just realised that I am on the rota to read the prayers at the next Family Service.

My plan is this...


Server announces prayers. I walk to lectern as Worship Group start their "tinkly tinkly, this is what heaven sounds like" muzak. I say "Let us begin our prayers with a period of silent reflection. Collapse of stout party.

It could work.
 


Posted by Pig (# 1919) on :
 
Thanks to Bessie, Steve, and Firenze above.

I think I'd probably be wise to see my general practitioner, and maybe making myself find someone who can give me some good medical-type advice would be a wise idea.
 


Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
Hey, I made shipmate.

Soon maybe I'll learn to type.

(Please insert closing quotes after "reflection" in my last post).
 


Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
My plan is this...

Server announces prayers. I walk to lectern as Worship Group start their "tinkly tinkly, this is what heaven sounds like" muzak. I say "Let us begin our prayers with a period of silent reflection. Collapse of stout party.


alternatively (and i realise this is quite revolutionary), you could ask them beforehand not to play during the prayers...
 


Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Stooberry:
alternatively (and i realise this is quite revolutionary), you could ask them beforehand not to play during the prayers...

Of course, but isn't this the spot for some hellish thoughts (in my case, brought on by a day of rather too many songs I haven't sung since flares were first in fashion and which have made a number of appearances in the "CC & HH" thread.
 


Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Of course, but isn't this the spot for some hellish thoughts...

yeah... and i guess in my own way, that was mine! (i appreciate your post was tongue in cheek)

sorry... it's a personal bugbear!
 


Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Stooberry:
yeah... and i guess in my own way, that was mine! (i appreciate your post was tongue in cheek)

sorry... it's a personal bugbear!


No apology needed, but accepted anyway. As I post to these boards I'm getting to realise how difficult it is to get across the right "tone of voice", even with the similies.

Partly in the interests of balance, I'm off to consign to heaven the sermon at the same Family Service, which was possibly the best "informal" sermon I have heard.


 


Posted by Miss Nomer (# 1430) on :
 
TICTH my fiance's ex-wife who is refusing to let him speak to the children on the phone. And she is threatening to never let him see them again despite court orders giving him extensive access.


She is trying to brainwash the children into hating their dad whilst we have never been anything but nice about her in front of the children.
 
Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH Last week. It came from there, and neds to go back.

Thank you.
 


Posted by Eldo (# 1861) on :
 
TICTH Carol singing at anytime in any place. I've had enough 9 hours over the weekend is enough for any person. Cancel christmas carol services and any more suggestions from the vicar that we should go carol singing in town. He didn't even turn up!

Arrgggghhhhh more rehersals tonight.
 


Posted by Tina (# 63) on :
 
TICTH storage heaters, and the need to know three days in advance that it was going to be bloody freezing today.
 
Posted by Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH the need to turn off my water supply for 15 hours on sunday, and for the 3rd time in 10 days at that!

And this bl**dy rash that still hasn't gone away!

Angel
 


Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
TICTH all the poeple receiving their Science or Engineering Degrees - since I have to be an usher at their ceremony, it's going to go for 5 *$#%ing hours!!!!!!
 
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
ticth this blasted ear infection. not that its not better, in fact its much, much better. but its STILL driving me mad. (oh well. two more days of antibiotics...)
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH people's inability to comprehend the concept of behavioural difficulties as part of an illness. Yelling at me does NOT help. You can't actually make me feel any worse about the way I behave, but you sure as hell can make me feel worse about myself.

(NB this is directed at some people IRL, not on the Ship.)
 


Posted by Isegrim (# 1256) on :
 
T.I.C.T.H. Spelling the word 'Christmas' with an X instad of 'CHrist'!
How did that start happening? Did some people get uncomfertable with the 'Christ' being contained within the word? We will all start claiming to be Xians worshiping 'Jeses X' if we are not careful !
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
isn't 'X' supposed to be the sign of the cross - if so then it's entirely appropriate.

Merry Xmas, Isegrim
 


Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
I frequently use X to stand for Christ -- because X has stood for Christ for a very long time! IIRC, X is the first letter of Christ in Greek.
 
Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on :
 
tis correct. that's where the abrieviation comes from.
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Xmas should be pronounced Crossmas. That about sums it up. Don't talk to me about the season of goodwill.
 
Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Carmel:
Xmas should be pronounced Crossmas. That about sums it up. Don't talk to me about the season of goodwill.

Nope, the 'X' is 'chi', 22nd-ish letter of the Greek alphabet. I believe that it is pronouced 'ch' as in 'loch', and 'i' as in 'eye'.

Another way the 'chi' is used in the church is part of the 'chi-rho'.

bb
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
I was being sarcastic. And right now I don't give a figgy pudding how it's pronounced. I can't wait for it to be over. This really is the nadir of the year.
 
Posted by Wood (# 7) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Carmel:
I was being sarcastic. And right now I don't give a figgy pudding how it's pronounced. I can't wait for it to be over. This really is the nadir of the year.

We'll just call you 'Ebenezer' then.

TITCH Thursdays. If I could, I'd abolish them altogether.
 


Posted by Wood (# 7) on :
 
pants. Let's try that again.

TITCH Thursdays, and would abolish them completely if I could.
 


Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
Call me what you want, but don't expect me to answer to it. Scrooge at least had money, his own home, and relatives who actually remembered him at Christmas. I don't mind if nobody calls, phones or emails, but I wish my relatives hadn't crossed me off their Christmas card list to save money after they overspent on a two month holiday in South Africa. I didn't find this out until I rang up wondering if they were dead.
 
Posted by Wood (# 7) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Carmel:
Call me what you want, but don't expect me to answer to it. Scrooge at least had money, his own home, and relatives who actually remembered him at Christmas. I don't mind if nobody calls, phones or emails, but I wish my relatives hadn't crossed me off their Christmas card list to save money after they overspent on a two month holiday in South Africa. I didn't find this out until I rang up wondering if they were dead.

OK, that really sucks. You have my sympathies.
 


Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I recommend reading A Nocturall upon St Lucie's Day

I offer this NOT as any kind of exemplar ('see, lots of 17th C divines were worse off than you') but as a blanket of the dark, suitable for rolling in.

Nadirs 'r' us!
 


Posted by anglotat (# 1689) on :
 
Hello
I'm new here, but if I might make so bold, I'm feeling a lot of hurt in the room. Perhaps we need to pour the balm of love into each other's souls by finding a group of people that we can really hate with impunity? How about TV presenters with white teeth, wide smiles and tinsel in their hair?
 
Posted by Erin (# 2) on :
 
quote:
The world is divided into two types of people; those who eat chocolate, and complete bitches

What if you're both?
 


Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
TICTH upstairs neighbours who have rows at midnight.

TIalsoCTH people who promote living together as such a great alternative to marriage. His flat, they have a row, who becomes homeless even if the row isn't her fault?
 


Posted by Ginga (# 1899) on :
 
TICTH London Transport. Half the city's in utter chaos (which is usually fun, but today I had to be in work)
 
Posted by Carmel (# 58) on :
 
And finally (for today), I consign my head of section. I hope she roasts in the three thousand flames of Hell and sputters in the fat of her own self importance. I hope she comes to realize what kind of person she is, and may that knowledge keep her awake at night.

I think we are engaged in a little bit of constructive dismissal of myself and our secretary, but I'm not going without a fight.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Ginga - I don't know what you mean - I got in fine today

Now Tuesday - that was a pain.
 


Posted by Ginga (# 1899) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
Ginga - I don't know what you mean - I got in fine today.

I'm guessing you work from home then. Circle, Met and H&C were all out right across the top, King's Cross was closed due to overcrowding, the Northern line was rammed full, and all of Euston Road is being dug up so the buses and taxis don't work. Plus double the number of pedestrians available to get in my way.

(Apologies to non-Londoners, and generally everyone who does know where I mean, but doesn't care)
 


Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
bicycle
 
Posted by Ginga (# 1899) on :
 
Life expectancy
 
Posted by jlg (# 98) on :
 
Whose or what bicycle are you consigning to the flames, Hostie.
[yet another smilie that doesn't exist -- where's the one with the fake halo and angelic look -- you know, like a three year old who is pretending not to have done something?]
 
Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
The bicycle is not being consigned to the flames, it is a reply to the previous two posts about LT
 
Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
i used northern line fine today, and i didn't notice that euston road was being seriously dug up...

tho i was kinda in a world of my own, so may not have noticed if the sky fell in

ticth 'family christmas' grrrr arghhhhh

like the starbucks ads 'Feel like lamping a troupe of carol singers? We're here to help you through this season' *grin*

i'm on to the ho-fucking-ho already

viki
 


Posted by jenny (# 499) on :
 
TICTH Christmas and New Year chocolate count down calendars. (Need a 'dripping with contempt' smiley here)

What happened to Advent????!!!!!!!


 


Posted by Paladin (# 1846) on :
 
TICTH whoever in my company thought that having a 31 December financial year-end was a good idea.

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

P.
 


Posted by jlg (# 98) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Hostie:
The bicycle is not being consigned to the flames, it is a reply to the previous two posts about LT

I know I was just teasing you because I had the funny image of a poor innocent bicycle consigned to Hell, no reason given!
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
Paladin - I sort of sympathise, as we have financial year end at the same time, but as I'm not accounting related, it is less of a problem for me.

But it does seem a ludicrous time to have a year end.
 


Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
Nothing really, just trying for a hat trick..
 
Posted by Tim V (# 830) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Wood:
pants. Let's try that again.

TITCH Thursdays, and would abolish them completely if I could.


You could have copied the page and saved it as homeswethome.html - I don't think anyone would have noticed...

Tim
 


Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Why Thursdays particularly? I thought it was Mondays nobody liked. Tell me why I don't like Mondays.
 
Posted by Paladin (# 1846) on :
 
Mondays are nothing. Things don't go massively wrong on Mondays as a whole. They might begin to go wrong, certainly, but they are not yet in a mature state. By Thursday the Bad Things are in full flow, unstoppable in their majestic urgency. And you've got to nail them, because Friday's just round the corner, and how can you enjoy Friday with the threat of Bad Things running over onto Saturday morning?

Thursdays. Bad Things. *shudder*.

P.
 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Help me! I can't help myself. I've found these dreadful electronic cards.

Here's one that can only be about Spanking the Monkey I think.

And this is just so awful it makes me want to cry (at the degeneracy of humanity, you understand). And that white thing sticking out its rear is the bone in the background, you perves.
 


Posted by Wood (# 7) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Paladin:
Mondays are nothing. Things don't go massively wrong on Mondays as a whole. They might begin to go wrong, certainly, but they are not yet in a mature state. By Thursday the Bad Things are in full flow, unstoppable in their majestic urgency. And you've got to nail them, because Friday's just round the corner, and how can you enjoy Friday with the threat of Bad Things running over onto Saturday morning?

Thursdays. Bad Things. *shudder*.


You see... Paladin understands... WICKET (Wood's International Coalition for the, erm, Komplete Abolition of Thursdays) gains another member! Hurrah!
 


Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
Wood,

I have for some time held to the opinion that in Hell (the REAL one, not this thread) it is always Thursday. You have suffered through a long week, and yet it is STILL not the weekend.

In Hell, Friday never comes.
 


Posted by jlg (# 98) on :
 
TICTH the woman I know at the local RC church (where I am in the process of converting), who snubbed me when I said hello to her at mass, and then proceeded to quiz my daughter at school about why I was at church "seeming to participate". She was there again today, sat within ten feet of me, watched me from a distance afterward. But could she walk up and say "Hi! Nice to see you here. What brings you to our church?" -- oh no, she would rather glare suspiciously at me. Fine Christian woman, wouldn't you say?
 
Posted by blackbird (# 1387) on :
 
chorister...i read in a farmer's almanac that more heart attacks occur on monday than on any other day because of the lurch from relaxation at home to activity at work. reason to be cautious if nothing else.

jlg...tell your daughter to pass on a message, "my mother says hello"
 


Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on :
 
TICTH - Misletoe that doesn't work

 
Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
Kitten,

Did you make sure it was plugged in? Was the power on? You may need to check the re-set button. (It's the small red one on the bottom.)

Good luck!
 


Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
Kitten,

It may not be the mistletoe that isn't working, but the person on whom it appears not to be working may in fact be broken themself.

Try it on someone else e.g. ex-partner, and see if it is in fact not the mistletoe that is malfunctioning.
 


Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
OK I'm not really in a bad mood today but...

my laptop is REALLY annoying me. It's making a whining noise for about 5 seconds every 10 seconds and the battery doesn't seem to be doing anything (i.e. it has to be plugged in to work).

hmmm maybe I need a new battery?
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
whining noise - check your fan.
 
Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
And battery problem, take it out and put it back in again in case it's a simple connection problem.
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
yeah sometimes the springy connections at the back of the battery compartment stay bent back ( well it did on my compaq) free them with a pencil and hey presto it started charging. the whiny noise is either the fan or a teenage daughter.

P
 


Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
Not having any teenage daughters I'll go with the fan.

Actually it's more of a whistle but that's still a possibility. Why would it be connected to a battery failure though?
 


Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
TICTH laptops whose CD rom drive thingy-majiggy refuses to cooperate and play music. (Its not even tacky carols or awful festive goop!)
 
Posted by Hostie (# 116) on :
 
It might be the CD, icklejen. I don't quite understand all the technical details but apparently a new album by Natalie Imbruligia (or maybe Natalie Merchant) has been set up not to play on computers. Among other albums..
 
Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
TICTH people who lie to me. I work in a job where people lie to you and it's par for the course but today I've had two people lie to me when they know that I have evidence that proves their lying. And they keep on BLOODY doing it. And its just rude.

Usually I put up with it but today I sat and argued with them and where did I get. Nowhere except using taxpayers money to waste my time and my interpreters time. And there was absolutely no sanction on doing it at all.
 


Posted by Oriel (# 748) on :
 
TICTH democracy. Especially when it gets you a huge majority of one party in parliament who then feel they can do what they bloody well like with impunity -- and can, too, because there`s no-one to stop them. Except the other members of the party, who are too wussy to even try.

I`m talking, of course, about letting Sinn Fein people use parliamentary offices despite their refusing to swear the oath of allegiance. I mean, what do they think the bloody thing`s for? And then we get Keith MacNamara wanting to reform it because people don`t like saying it. Well of course they don`t. If they did like saying it there`d be no need for it. How about we take all that "truth" stuff out of the oath that witnesses have to swear in court, so they`ll find it easier to say?
 


Posted by the Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
Other monarchies manage to have an oath of allegiance that doesn't invoke the monarchy in that way to allow the republicans not to compromise their beliefs. But would they take it? on the grounds that they believe GB parliament has no authority in the 6 counties

But I agree about Sinn Fein, on the grounds that it was ruled out of order by the then speaker, and should remain so for the rest of this session.

Angel
 


Posted by Karl (# 76) on :
 
I'd be all for seeing oaths to a monarchy I don't support being removed as requirements for my elected representatives.
 
Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
But it's not about the monarchy Karl, it's about authority. Sinn Fein would not want an oath of allegiance to anyone or any country other than Eire.

So while we're about it I'll CTH the current Speaker Michael Martin who is the least independent and commands the least respect of anyone to have held that office in the entire 800+ years of UK Parliamentary Democracy.
 


Posted by TonyK (# 35) on :
 
I agree with the sentiment of the last 4 posts! Either they are members of Parliament and take their seats in the normal way, or they are not and should stay totally away from Westminster!

BUT - any bets/odds on them taking their seats within the next twelve months after 'President' Blair decides to modify the oath of allegiance - to the European Community' perhaps

'Government by the people, of the people and for the people' - does it exist anywhere?
 


Posted by Oriel (# 748) on :
 
What we ought to have done, of course, is, as soon as they refused to take the oath of allegiance, said "You won`t take the oath? You can`t be a Member of Parliament. Oh dear, there`s no MP for this constituency. Right, by-election!" and keep on doing it until you got someone who was prepared to take the oath.

Too late now, of course..
 


Posted by magnificat (# 1823) on :
 
TICTH the narrow-minded belief that women cannot be priests or bishops! (Or popes for that matter).
 
Posted by Huw (# 182) on :
 
Today - RIGHT NOW - I consign to Hell the place I used to work at. I am currently out of work, having resigned. I had been assured (verbally only) that I would be paid until the start of March, or even April, to give me time to find another proper job. Therefore I have been putting my energies into looking for long term employment, instead of a temporary stop gap. What do I get today? My P45, and a letter saying December's salary is my last. I feel as though I'm in a boxing match. I've been knocked to the floor, I'm just pulling myself up, and now I've been kicked in the nuts! And tomorrow I move out of the flat I love, which is both emotional and expensive. Merry Christmas?????
 
Posted by Paladin (# 1846) on :
 
Sorry to hear about that Huw. Still can't believe that poeople can be that insensitive. My friend had the same thing happen to him last year (well not exactly - he was just made redundant 5 days before Christmas.) Do these people realise that job-hunting effectively stops for 2 weeks over Christmas? What do they think they're doing. Bunch of gits.

Anyway, all I can offer you are my prayers and best wishes over Christmas. All the best, Huw.

P.
 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
((((Huw))))
 
Posted by the Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
TICTH

1. washing machines that are temperamental.
2. people who get annoyed at you sending "religious" Christmas Cards. I mean huh? did someone completely miss the point here? I send relatively few cards anyway, only to those I care most about. If people are celebrating as "christmas" not "happy new year" or similar then I am going to send "christmas" cards.
Why can't they accept the card in the spirit in which is was meant - as a sharing in something personally special. I do send out "New Year" cards to some friends of mine, as they have explicitly said they don't celebrate Christmas. And they send me similar. perfectly grown up and satisfying way to behave.

Love
Angel
 


Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
my old college's alumn. message boards. in the 4 or so years i've been using the message board, they've changed the format at least three times, i think 4. each time its gotten clunkier and harder to use, and each time they've had fewer and fewer people use it. this newest version requires e-mailing them TWICE! in order to register, and waiting for a reply each time. guess how many people are gonna' bother? so far, i think, one.... me.
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
21 people have been arrested for arson - there are 100 fires still burning through NSW and 20,000 fireys fighting them. Of the 21, 14 were aged 9-16. I consign these little shits to Hell (the adults can be spared for now because they will actually receive some punishment for their crimes), and as well as 'conferencing' they should use the bloody ratan on the bastards.
 
Posted by Nunc_Dimittis (# 848) on :
 
I'll second that, Coot.

And TICTH my nose. (Ruddy sinuses.) And imposing relatives.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH Generic medicines. These are non-brand name versions of branded medications, done cheaper.

In my case, without any of the positive effects, and with all of the negative ones. So, rather than risking any more generics, I have to use the branded product.

Thereby making them more expensive. Aaargh.
 


Posted by mandy (# 403) on :
 
can openers that don't work.

and cats. maybe i'm mistaken but combining a small brain with large incisors and sharp claws is not an ideal formula for a domestic companion.
i am scratched to bits...
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mandy:
can openers that don't work.

and cats. maybe i'm mistaken but combining a small brain with large incisors and sharp claws is not an ideal formula for a domestic companion.
i am scratched to bits...


Presumably because you didn't open the can quickly enough.

Lesson: buy Cat Food in easy open sachets or ring-pull cans!
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mandy:
can openers that don't work.

and cats. maybe i'm mistaken but combining a small brain with large incisors and sharp claws is not an ideal formula for a domestic companion.
i am scratched to bits...


Let me see - you are trying to open a can, but the can opener is broken....

You have a cat with claws, teeth, and very little brain....

So - use the cat's claws or teeth to open the can with!

[Steve - who loves cats, but knows about sharp claws too]
 


Posted by Miss Nomer (# 1430) on :
 
Agree about cats at the moment.

We don't have one but have visitations from next door as our door has a cat flap we can't shut!

Last night he let himself in the bedroom at 1 AM and started scratching at the window. On being thrown out and the door closed he sat & scratched & miaowed until the door was kicked very hard from our side.

This morning he thought he deserved love & affection so wrapped himself around my legs & miaowed whilst I was running around trying to make my packed lunch - aargh

I do like cats really but sometimes they are such a PIA
 
Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Current bushfire toll is 170 houses and 500,000 hectares (approx. 1,250,000 acres) of land consumed). Thank god no loss of life.
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
I hope you and Nunc are a safe distance from the fires.

It must be extremely stressful.

Moo
 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Thanks - Yes. I am on the other side of Oz and Nunc is in the suburbs nearer Sydney 10 and 20 mins drive away from some fires she wrote on the Aussie Meet thread. But David the Admin is in the Blue Mountains, parts of which I understand have suffered damage and where changes in wind direction could be crucial. Other Sydney people who posted on the Aussie Meet thread are: mad mitch, Chris, David Hand, and gnat99, but didn't say where they were.

There are now 80 fires burning, but conditions in the next few days will be hot and windy which will make containment harder.

Sorry not very hellish. And probably should be posted in All Saints.

I hope they make the kids involved actually help clean up damaged homes and talk to people whose houses/properties/sheep/cattle have been destroyed.
 


Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
raging fires are very hellish! and i for one am glad to know that our oz shipmates are all ok, i was a bit worried when i heard about the fires.
 
Posted by Akeldama (# 277) on :
 
TICTH - my stinking cold, my blocked sinuses and my sore throat
 
Posted by Nunc_Dimittis (# 848) on :
 
TICTH myself. Felt so spiritually lowsy this morning I decided I couldn't be bothered going to church.

**********

Today is truly overcast - clouds and all. Looks like it might rain, and there's no wind, so that will be good news for firefighters.
 


Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Family services. That's all. Family services under the guise of 'all age worship'. Vile nuclear-family obsessed, heterosexist abominations for the benefit of the fecund hordes.
 
Posted by The Mid (# 1559) on :
 
TICTH the bushfires, again. Ad the arsonists. I believe they should be put in a cage, doused with petrol and then set alight. I mean, they obviously like fire, right? They deserve to pay, for destroying people's homes, for ruining people's lives, for making people like my father have to go and fight the fires.

Which also means, our holiday is off, as dad is fighting fires and as such can't go. Not that I want him to stop doing it, I can get over it, but if those bastards hadn't lit the fires we'd be at the beach, and Dad wouldn't be surrounded by flames!!!

DAMN THOSE ARSONISTS!!!!!
 


Posted by Tim V (# 830) on :
 
T, and for the next month or so I expect, ICTH, the aftermath of a relationship which is over and the fact that it's impossible to be normal around someone you really care about because what was once is no longer and it's all a mess and all the regret and confusion and blame gets in the way and figuring out what I really think becomes an impossibility.

Oh well, I gambled and lost. 'Till next time...
 


Posted by Paul W (# 1450) on :
 
TICTH whoever decided to stick to the order of service on Sunday night, no matter how far over time it went. TWO AND A HALF HOURS sat in a service! We were in serious need of the pub after that one.
And I was only visiting the church as well.
 
Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
TICTH Printers that are not 9-year-old proof.

Aaaargh!
 


Posted by Dyfrig (# 15) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
TICTH Printers that are not 9-year-old proof.

Aaaargh!



Well, don't put your 9 year old in the printer in the first place. Du-uh.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dyfrig:

Well, don't put your 9 year old in the printer in the first place. Du-uh.

Sorry - am I my 9-year-olds keeper?

As he has proved, he is more than capable of getting into the printer without any help from me ( at least his fingers ). Why did God give children fingers?
 


Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
....Why did God give children fingers?

They will come in "handy" later on.

::snork::
 


Posted by TonyK (# 35) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
They will come in "handy" later on.

::snork::


At least they would've if they hadn't been damaged in a printer
 


Posted by Islandexile (# 1340) on :
 
Is there a warning anywhere that informs posters that a maximum of eight images are allowed per post?

I just lost my lenghty rant against the US Postal Service due to exceeding the limt of allowed.

As if I wasn't angry enough already


 


Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :
 
TITCH the strict diet I started yesterday. No bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, chocolate.... how am I meant to LIVE?

I also CTH waif-ish naturopaths who think a 60g piece of steak and a few carrot sticks is all anyone could possibly need to eat.
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by TonyK:
At least they would've if they hadn't been damaged in a printer

The fingers themselves weren't damaged in the printer. The broken bones are from what I did to him having discovered what he had done ( joke - I don't want Social Services on me ).It's probaly a good job I'm not really a violent psycopath. IRL at least.
 


Posted by weaver_dav_t (# 300) on :
 
TICTH: The student loans company AND university bureocracy GRRR! I am no longer a full time student and was informed by the university the they would tell my LEA that, and that my loan would be reduce accordingly - but NO! they gave me the full loan anyway thus adding £1000 to my student debt - and now I don't know who to contact about giving the money back AND I need a job
GRRRRR again!
 
Posted by Dyfrig (# 15) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by weaver_dav_t:
and now I don't know who to contact about giving the money


1. Write a letter to the head of the student funding section at your LEA, copy to your local council. Point out to them that they've overpaid you and you want to know how to return the money.

2. If within 2 weeks the LEA hasn't responded, remind them politely, again copied to Councillor.

3. If no reply after a month, write to Director of Education, copied to local councillor, asking why you've not heard.

TICTH local authorities.
 


Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
TICTH Thameslink Trains. To get an idea how they operate their "service", rearrange the following words to make a well known phrase or saying:

in a brewery piss up couldn't organise a

Since returning to work after Christmas, my train in the morning has been late every single day. The only reason I was on time on Monday was because I caught the previous train that was running half an hour late. Yesterday, the train was cancelled, but they didn't bother telling us until half an hour after it was due to leave. As for this evenings journey home it was virtually non existent. A whole section of the line had been closed, so I had to walk in the pissing rain to the station where they were terminating and then had a 25 minute wait. It amazes me that they have the nerve to charge money for this service.

The government and the green lobby are trying to persuade us to leave our cars at home and use public transport instead. Well, bollocks to that! I've tried to do my bit, but as I can't rely on the trains, I'd rather sit in a traffic jam than put up with this crap. From now on, I'm driving to work


 


Posted by Joan the Dwarf (# 1283) on :
 
TICTH mice infestations. Hall's got one. A big one. Environmental health's been called out to deal with it.

I arrived back yesterday from a week away to be woken at 1am by sounds of ripping from my food box. Shaking it, out popped a mouse, and then I lifted the lid to find it had shredded a packet of dried soya mix, and there were droppings everywhere. Yuk. I've just finished tidying up and getting everything remotely food-like WAY off the floor, and throwing out all the stuff that had been spoiled.

I'm doubly annoyed because I don't want the mice all killed, but there's no other way to end the infestation - Hall isn't big enough for all of us.

It didn't help that the friend I told this to tonight (yes, you know who you are!! ) told me about someone else who has a mouse problem and who recently woke up to find one in bed with him! Well, aren't I going to sleep well tonight, especially as it'll be exploring now its food source has gone...
 


Posted by Steve (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
The government and the green lobby are trying to persuade us to leave our cars at home and use public transport instead. Well, bollocks to that! I've tried to do my bit, but as I can't rely on the trains, I'd rather sit in a traffic jam than put up with this crap. From now on, I'm driving to work


Cos of course, drivers never get held up, do they? On my walk to work, I cross the new M11 extension. Sometimes ( say once a week ) it is solid.

Steve - who will be relying on Thameslink from Easter
 


Posted by Ginga (# 1899) on :
 
Sticking with this theme...

TICTH London Transport again.

It seems they didn't get the hint last time.
 


Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :
 
TICTH people who mutilate library owned material. including magazines and newspapers. grrr.....
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
TICTH people who mutilate library owned material. including magazines and newspapers. grrr.....

That's especially inexcusable nowadays when libraries have copy machines so people can copy what they want.

Moo
 


Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
ticth humanity for being generally clever arses and doing things *just because they can*, which is a really stupid idea, as we have proved over the course of our existence. every time we invent something new there is a big uproar about how this will change our lives and make them better. and most of the time the invention *could*. but instead we see how much we can ruin, mutilate, devastate, and generally bugger up both our world and its other inhabitants.

[corrected spelling because I was asked nice]

[ 14 January 2002: Message edited by: tomb ]
 


Posted by Eldo (# 1861) on :
 
TICTH The evil son of the most foul who decided to "borrow" 95% of the house contents from my in laws. And the car as well.

Whilst I'm at it I also CTH spades which are used to wrench open windows especially when it was my only unbent one.

And finally I CTH the incompetent Metropolitan "we couldn't spot a crime if someone nicked our police station" so called Police Force. Who when informed of a crime in progress by a neighbour respond we'll be round in an hour or two. And for their incredible ability not to take any salient details when they did finally f'ing turn up 7.5 hours later. Apparently they didn't have time to record the VIN number / license / make / model of the car so it still isn't registered as stolen.

Useless f**kwits. They will burn
 


Posted by the Angel of the North (# 60) on :
 
People telling me that exams are getting easier.

Little ****s who follow me into the courtyard just to shout abuse. (we have a gated courtyard, and it takes an age for the gate to shut, and they sneaked in.

Angel
 


Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by the Angel of the North:

Little ****s who follow me into the courtyard just to shout abuse. (we have a gated courtyard, and it takes an age for the gate to shut, and they sneaked in.

No chance of then locking the gate and shutting them in for a day or 2 I suppose?
 




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