Ship of Fools: HEAVEN: Keyboard deficiency

Thread: HEAVEN: Keyboard deficiency Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I noticed today that the character that should appear between K and M on my keyboard has disappeared off the keyboard as if it never was.

I didn't think anything of this at first, then it occurred to me what the consequences were and they have ramifications.

The year is now shortened to just 10 months, and at midday, there's now just a snack. I'm guessing that has to be eaten out of a carton or packet as the crockery that used to be used can't be.

Journeys are now more tricky than you might think (the chief city of this country might just have to be renamed, otherwise ignored). The future can't be discussed (but everybody is safe as you now have to end up in Heaven). And I can't even sign my own name.

Your thoughts on the further consequences of this missing character are invited...

[ 24. March 2016, 09:20: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :

What keyboard are you using? There's nothing between K (2nd row) and M (1st row) diagonally on the qwerty set-up, which is pretty standard. You seem to be referring to 'L', which is just to the right of 'K'.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Ariel: Your thoughts on the further consequences of this missing character are invited...

I hate to inform you of this, but you don't exist anymore.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I know. But neither do you.

Posted by Beenster (# 242) on :

You can only go to Heaven, not Hell.

Christmas and Birthdays and Easters are still up and we will have a vacation.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Ariel: I know. But neither do you.

Darn!

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

There can be pancakes on Shrove Tuesday (sugar but you might have to make do with grapefruit or orange instead) but no period of penance afterwards.

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

The greatest gift of the spirit Paul mentions doesn't exist any more [Waterworks]

(heaven knows why this was my first thought).

I do though [Razz]

Huia

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

Harry Potter (and Pigwidgeon!) would exist -- but someone would have to write about them. Our family of red-headed friends would be gone. [Frown]

Mr. Shakespeare would have to change his first name.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
... Paul ...

Who?

There's friendship, romance and sex, agape and eros, desire, attraction and passion. It would be a bit wordy putting that on a greetings card on 14 February but the point could be got across.

Posted by Beenster (# 242) on :

I enjoy the website shipofidiots

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Ariel: … would … could …

What?

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:

quote:
Ariel: … would … could …
What?

Oh fracking pit of doom. I thought I'd checked that post with care.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
First posted by someone:
Oh fracking pit of doom. I thought I'd checked that post with care.

Hehe, it's more diffi… comp… harder than you think.

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

This idea turns up as a kind of joke in my favourite nove... story book. It's about an American preacher in the 1950s, but I can offer you neither its title, nor the first name of the author whose surname is Robinson.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

Hehe, you missed one.

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

Bum. '...neither the name which graces its paper covers, nor...'

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Banner Woman checking in.... Arie, how fortunate you are: on my keyboard the E is fast disappearing!

I thought this might be a thread on pc user probs and wanted to say I have a demonic mouse, which makes navigating very tricky sometimes. Must get around to investing in a new one soon. Maybe then I can score better in The Crews Quiz each day....

Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :

As we can have only ten months, it is fitting that there is nothing between March and May, and June and August. The days of the week are not affected, nor are the seasons.

In the debates on administration and finances in this nation, there remain only two parties (Conservatives and UKIP) as the other UK parties have ceased to be. There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.

To add to UKIP joy, Germany can exist in the majority tongue of this country but not in its own. A number of member states face the reverse issue, such as Suomi. Some disappear into their own contradictions.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

I am fortunate in my continued existence, notwithstanding the missing item. It is intriguing to find that a previous idea of mine is being resurrected.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

In the woods nothing weeps by the brook; at Christmas there's not much wherewith to deck somewhere you don't have.

Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :

quote:
Once posted by Rev per Minute:
There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.

My mistake - Cymru continues, as it has since the Romans, and so does Eíre.

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

I'm worried about the Hoy Spirit, the Ord our God, the God of Profound Attachment, or maybe the God of Great Esteeming*

*If memory serves. someone said they esteemed another rather much in Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, the steemiest moment in a story of starchy unsteamy people wearing way too many clothes. Nice hair though.

Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:

quote:
Once posted by Rev per Minute:
There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.
My mistake - Cymru continues, as it has since the Romans, and so does Eíre.

What is this "*and mass" of which you speak?

[ 28. January 2016, 00:01: Message edited by: Uncle Pete ]

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:

quote:
First posted by someone:
Oh fracking pit of doom. I thought I'd checked that post with care.
Hehe, it's more diffi… comp… harder than you think.

It is too!

Huia

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
In the woods nothing weeps by the brook; at Christmas there's not much wherewith to deck somewhere you don't have.

And yet it has now come to be the time of Noe "L" without end in one part of the UK...

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

From the OP:

quote:
at midday, there's now just a snack. I'm guessing that has to be eaten out of a carton or packet as the crockery that used to be used can't be.

We could revert to breakfast, dinner, tea and supper eaten off trenchers.

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

It even ruins the Two Ronnies' attempt to teach a basic greeting in Swedish.

Can we nominate, each week, a different sub-unit of the constituents of the tongue with which we speak and write, as that which is to be omitted in the future?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Or porringers (of which I find the quaich to be an instance).

Coffee (minus dairy), orange juice, toast, butter, marmite are to be had. Soups and sandwiches - mostly, but who is going to miss the bit of soggy green between the bacon and tomato? For dinner, abundance of chicken and beef and pork and, if we're content to wait a bit, mutton. The roots are present - potato, carrot, parsnip, onion (and what is missing won't be missed by the westward nation that doesn't exist).

We must make do with cucumber in our G&T and the mohito is no more but them's the knocks.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Dishes are an option. There are knives, forks and spoons, but water has to be heated in a pot on the stove and you can't get out of washing up.

And you have to hope that your rubbish is taken away, which must now be at infrequent, odd times, as the rota for doing so at fixed times during a month can't be a rota any more.

Christmas can continue to happen, the customary foods can be served with the exception of pudding, there can even be a decorated tree (without shiny strands) but you can't go to church for a Christmas song service. You have to go just for the mince pies and forego the hot spiced booze.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

I'm going to need a big quantity of booze, because my adopted country doesn't exist anymore [Waterworks]

(And what *are* the inhabitants of this country going to do in February??)

Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
There are knives, forks and spoons, but water has to be heated in a pot on the stove and you can't get out of washing up.

You can use a dishwasher even so, can't you?
Although I suppose you do need a new kind of soap to put in the dishwasher together with the dirty things to remove the dirt. You need a new kind of soap for the sink to remove the dirt in the sink too.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Today, my fair state does not exist. I guess that's OK, since a great amount of rain has descended from the sky. The ground is sinking, or appears to do so, under the knee deep and rising waters. Which reminds me that the Good Book is missing some stories that recount great rains, trees of knowing, and the Sea where Jesus hung out.

Is the missing character gone for good?

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Detergent provides the washing options, I think. But on most concern to me is missing a room for human waste disposing.

I presume in February we might make do with an eap day, or just an extended month.

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
But on most concern to me is missing a room for human waste disposing.

What's wrong with a bog, WC, powder room (or gents'), khazi or pissoir? Just don't opt for the Americanism of bathroom.

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

quote:
Christmas can continue to happen, the customary foods can be served with the exception of pudding, there can even be a decorated tree (without shiny strands) but you can't go to church for a Christmas song service. You have to go just for the mince pies and forego the hot spiced booze.

Rejoice! No more services centred on oranges skewered with toothpicks and decorated with ribbons and sweeties!

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

But I can have Evensong instead. Even in the far antipodes, in the country of Oz (or Austraya ) I may keep my worship habits. Prayer and praise continues, as do works of mercy and compassion. I can take communion but must stand in the somewhat emptier sanctuary. The eucharist can be given by cup and paten, but not from a tab*le or a*tar. What must we use? And what of sa*vation?

We may not study theo*ogy any more. 0r any o*ogy for that matter. Universities abound but not schoo*s. Where can I go for education? And what subjects remain?

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

You could study French, German, Spanish, Russian, Arabic, Chinese or Ancient Greek; history, geography, physics, chemistry or mathematics. They might have to be intensive weekend or evening courses.

How cars can move without round things or any of that substance you have to pour into them is anybody's guess. Maybe hoverboards are the shape of the future. Or we go back to riding horses.

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

quote:
How cars can move without ...any of that substance you have to pour into them is anybody's guess.

Ship them to America where they can run on gas.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

You can have God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Spirit (albeit not so set apart), so what more do you need?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
You can have God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Spirit (albeit not so set apart), so what more do you need?

I suppose the god of those sometimes referred to as Mohammedeans is reduced to an expression of anguish and the spaghetti monster is grounded.

Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Uncle Pete:

quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:

quote:
Once posted by Rev per Minute:
There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.
My mistake - Cymru continues, as it has since the Romans, and so does Eíre.
What is this "*and mass" of which you speak?

Groan...

Perhaps I meant the areas of ground above the see which are not as massive as the masses next to them [Help]

And you, Pete, may be my father's brother but you may not use the description which you have used above...

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:
Perhaps I meant the areas of ground above the see which are not as massive as the masses next to them

Mm yes. How might one get to them? The country of Eireann is a bit out on its own and the UK is cut off from Europe. Boats can't boat across, aircraft can't aircraft their way, there are no trains, and you can't drive.

Having said that, I suppose you could row, or punt across if the weather was decent. If you had the physique, you might even swim.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

I am most concerned about Cymru which, though continuing to exist, has been deprived of the majority of its towns and cities.

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

Scotia retains Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Inverness, Perth and Dundee. The Dear Green Place is toast, though.

Posted by Jengie jon (# 273) on :

I am just going to go back to inverted typewriter ski11s. It is easy for those of a certain age.

Jengie

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
I am most concerned about Cymru which, though continuing to exist, has been deprived of the majority of its towns and cities.

Cardiff, Swansea, Carmarthen, Aberystwyth, Newport and the Brecon Beacons can be visited and indeed by train or car. You might have to catch the ferry to Eireann or Mann from some other departure point, though.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

It's strange that some of the spectrum shades have disappeared. The ones near indigo are my very favorites, and the one with which buttercups are tinted (between orange and green) are gone! This is sad. What can we do? Are there to be great gaping spaces in rainbows?

My home and car are now without tint. You might not think it's devastating, but how am I to know which is my house?

Those missing characters are sneaky, and are trying to escape into this post.

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

In fact Cymru does keep every one of its cities - Bangor, Cardiff, Newport, St Davids, St Asaph and Swansea remain open for business.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

quote:
First posted by Drifting Star:
In fact Cymru does keep every one of its cities - Bangor, Cardiff, Newport, St Davids, St Asaph and Swansea remain open for business.

That may prove fortunate as there are very few shrunken towns remaining.

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
In fact Cymru does keep every one of its cities - Bangor, Cardiff, Newport, St Davids, St Asaph and Swansea remain open for business.

But the famous station on Ynys Môn, with its extensive fifty-eight character name, has ceased to be. On ten-and-one counts, indeed.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

But I think that the Ll continues? It's a different character.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

No. You just typed that with two of the ordinary ones, no? There's no dedicated key for that combo on the keyboard.

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

An interesting point. A Cymraeg keyboard with a separate key for [that double lettered character] might render it in the correct manner. An ordinary keyboard trying to type in Cymraeg, however, cannot function.

[ 31. January 2016, 18:11: Message edited by: Drifting Star ]

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
But I think that the Ll continues? It's a different character.

Whether or not it continues, you can't write the name of the bishop and son of Powys's king whose church is commemorated towards the end of the name of excessive size.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
A Cymraeg keyboard with a separate key for [that double *ettered character]

For what?

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

For the ỻ.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

It must, I am certain, even up society as we know it, for there can be no tit*es conferred and no meda*s given. My awards are safe, and I guess so is the crown, for we may continue to have a queen. I can go to the doctor, but not a *awyer or a so*icitor. I guess that means more money in the bank for the average person. And that horrid word 'norma*' has gone for good.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
For the ỻ.

Whatever that is doesn't show on my screen. It's just a square.

Ife wi return to norma at some point soon, I'm sure.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

I guess you don't have the Cymraeg font on your computer.

Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
I can go to the doctor, but not a *awyer or a so*icitor.

Courts remain, advocates, barristers attorneys, judges and magistrates. So may be not so much extra money in the pocket after all.

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

oh no, disaster! Does this mean we have nothing but consonants? And then just 20 of them. Future message may have to be made from emoticons. [Eek!]

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

This reminds me of a book I read a few years ago.

Posted by The Intrepid Mrs S (# 17002) on :

Or 'The Thirteen Clocks and the Wonderful O', by the equally wonderful James Thurber [Yipee]

Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
oh no, disaster! Does this mean we have nothing but consonants? And then just 20 of them. Future message may have to be made from emoticons.

I don't think you can use that third emoticon...

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Hedgehog: I don't think you can use that third emoticon...

Ooh good one! I hadn't spotted that.

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
A Cymraeg keyboard with a separate key for [that double *ettered character]
For what?

Where the deficient character is used twice in succession, as it often is in Cymraeg, the two characters represent a separate character.

See this connecty thing.

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
oh no, disaster! Does this mean we have nothing but consonants? And then just 20 of them. Future message may have to be made from emoticons.
I don't think you can use that third emoticon...

Dagnamit, you're right.

Posted by W Hyatt (# 14250) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
oh no, disaster! Does this mean we have nothing but consonants? And then just 20 of them. Future message may have to be made from emoticons.
I don't think you can use that third emoticon...

And I count just 19 consonants because I think you have to drop the one near the end with the appearance of two V's stuck together.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
oh no, disaster! Does this mean we have nothing but consonants? And then just 20 of them.

Where did the "nothing but consonants" come from? We're missing just one.

In any case, it won't be much different to txtspk, which continues to be in fashion, so I'm sure we can work round it if it happens.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Ariel:Where did the "nothing but consonants" come from? We're missing just one.

What is the name of the things we use to write with but which are not consonants?

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

The point of this thread was to focus on one missing consonant. I'm asking how the Arachnid got from that to the idea of "there won't be anything but consonants".

[ 06. February 2016, 12:08: Message edited by: Ariel ]

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

There won't be any vo…

Posted by Beenster (# 242) on :

Smart!

No A, E, I, O, U!

Like it.

Posted by Beenster (# 242) on :

Darnit. I don't *ike it. I appreciate the humour there.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

If you start lisping, you can use the w instead of the .

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

If you start what?

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

If you wisp, you can tawk as normaw. Awthough you wiww sound very babyish.

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