Thread: Ominous words Board: Heaven / Ship of Fools.


To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=012882

Posted by HCH (# 14313) on :
 
I nominate "new normal".
 
Posted by Ian Climacus (# 944) on :
 
Corporate values.

Particularly in the context of a launch of.
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
Trust us.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
"Leverage" (in the business context).
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Correction" (stock market)
"Resting comfortably" (medicine)

[ 20. June 2017, 16:28: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
 
Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

"Resting comfortably" (medicine)

same field "some discomfort"
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
Shallow dip (in the economy)
 
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :
 
Collateral damage.
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
A big weekend of football.
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
'missional' - in church
 
Posted by ACK (# 16756) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais

"Leverage" (in the business context).

I think I heard the term 'Leverage' used correctly once in a business context. Thankfully I do not hear it these days, but it was the in-word for what seemed a long time.

[ 20. June 2017, 17:22: Message edited by: ACK ]
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
Friendly fire
 
Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 
"collegial", "team player"
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
Sense of humour required --- on a job description.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
"You can't miss it."
 
Posted by MaryLouise (# 18697) on :
 
'Blue sky thinking'.

Up there with 'Let's get all our ducks in a row, shall we?'
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
In a bus or train context: "We are experiencing extended service intervals".

"A new and exciting retail experience".

[ 21. June 2017, 06:09: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
hyuuuuge

bad hombre

a great, great wall
 
Posted by Kaplan Corday (# 16119) on :
 
spirituality
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
In a bus or train context: "We are experiencing extended service intervals".

"A new and exciting retail experience".

"New and exciting" in any context are ominous, I have found. They are rarely both true.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Also true of "new and improved".
 
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
In a bus or train context: "We are experiencing extended service intervals".

"A new and exciting retail experience".

"New and exciting" in any context are ominous, I have found. They are rarely both true.
Commonly neither is.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Guest" (anyone who pays money to use public transit)
 
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :
 
"Now I know this might not be the most politically correct thing to say, but..."
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
"Proactive"
 
Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
"We need to talk."
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"In my office - now!"
 
Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :
 
"I'm not a racist but..."
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
"Lessons (have been) learned".
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"A Public Enquiry".
 
Posted by Al Eluia (# 864) on :
 
"President Trump"
 
Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :
 
Those last four all go together. (Reading between the lines on two of them).

[ 21. June 2017, 16:00: Message edited by: mdijon ]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"We regret the inconvenience while these essential works are being carried out".
 
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
'Going forward'
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
"trickle down" (economy). It doesn't.

"A promising young politician" - yeah, and that's all they ever do for the rest of their lives.

Huia
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
"trickle down" (economy). It doesn't.

"A promising young politician" - yeah, and that's all they ever do for the rest of their lives.

Huia

All politicians are promising. THey promise everything, and deliver nothing.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
And in keeping with that thought . . .

"Legislative agenda"
 
Posted by John Holding (# 158) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MaryLouise:
'Blue sky thinking'.


I've always assumed that BlueSky was a polite way of saying the unHeavenly phrase usually abbreviated BS.

John
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
"For your convenience..." usually means something has been made as inconvenient as possible.
 
Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
"For your convenience..." usually means something has been made as inconvenient as possible.

And more expensive as well.

N00b preacher, during the sermon: (eagerly) "Now, I'd like us to do something different. Find a partner and..."
 
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :
 
Gin!
 
Posted by anoesis (# 14189) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
"Leverage" (in the business context).

"Reach out" (in the business context)
 
Posted by Aethelstan (# 3502) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
In a bus or train context: "We are experiencing extended service intervals".

...means "You are experiencing extended service intervals".

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
"For your convenience..."

...means "For our convenience...".
 
Posted by MaryLouise (# 18697) on :
 
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have encountered a slight problem...'
 
Posted by Tobias (# 18613) on :
 
Let's start with an ice-breaker!
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"New fares will come into force from January 5th".
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
There really is no need to worry.
 
Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :
 
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years' time?"

"It's good to regularly re-imagine your role"

"Our employee mobile telecomms plan means you need never be out of touch with what's going on!"

"Flexibility..."
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
"This option is a wee bit more expensive..." vet nurse about the cat's medication.

Huia - picks herself up off the floor and wonders if a second mortgage would be possible.
 
Posted by Ohher (# 18607) on :
 
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

I'm seeing this everywhere these days, and all it does is make me wonder what they had been using before, and immediately suspend belief.
 
Posted by Jengie jon (# 273) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ohher:
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

I'm seeing this everywhere these days, and all it does is make me wonder what they had been using before

You really don't want to know. There are chemicals that give a similar flavour to most of those. Remember Walkers Smokey Bacon flavour crisp used to be vegetarian. Pringles still are.

Jengie

[ 22. June 2017, 11:17: Message edited by: Jengie jon ]
 
Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :
 
"My government" (from Her Majesty)
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"A strong and appropriate response".
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"But first" (said by newscasters)

Example: "A massive landslide has caused an entire coastal town to fall into the ocean. You'll never guess which one it was. But first, the latest sports scores."
 
Posted by Snags (# 15351) on :
 
"Have you got a minute?"

In pretty much any context (work, church, domestic)
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
"Robust defence". More management speak, usually means arrogant and pig-headed.
 
Posted by Eirenist (# 13343) on :
 
'Communion4all' (on service leaflet).
 
Posted by Eirenist (# 13343) on :
 
Also 'mission-shaped'.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Brought to you by _____" (on TV, announcing a commercial break). What follows are ten commercials not in any way related to the sponsor whose name fills in the blank above.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ohher:
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

I'm seeing this everywhere these days, and all it does is make me wonder what they had been using before, and immediately suspend belief.

This reminds me of a treat from my childhood that had the perplexing packaging of boasting that it was "Genuine Artificial Italian Ice"--whatever that meant.
 
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :
 
From a weather forecaster...

"It's shaping up to be another beautiful day out there!"

(my tastes in weather seem to be the polar opposite of the general consesnsus.)
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
There really is no need to worry.

Or "There is absolutely no cause for alarm" (start at about 1:00).
 
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :
 
Doc hands me a paper, and says "here's the analogue", and then snaps on a rubber glove and says, "now for digital!".

(true story)
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
"Right-sizing," which has come to just mean "down-sizing," and probably means you're about to be canned.

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
"Guest" (anyone who pays money to use public transit)

...or of a store customer. Similarly, "team member" for an employee. "Family" is even worse in a business context.

quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
From a weather forecaster...

"It's shaping up to be another beautiful day out there!"

(my tastes in weather seem to be the polar opposite of the general consesnsus.)

Oh, I know! When I hear those words, I know it's going to be HOT and muggy!
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
All thnings bein equal.

At the end of the day.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Re building developments:

'An exciting, vibrant, new community' = more noise, litter, and traffic...

In similar vein (in parish profiles, advertising for new vicar):

'We are an exciting, vibrant parish' = we have a music group with BIGGER DRUMS than any other church...

IJ
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:

'We are an exciting, vibrant parish' = we have a music group with BIGGER DRUMS than any other church...

IJ

[Killing me]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Presumably not like these, though.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"We are a small but growing parish" (= "we are five little old ladies and one incontinent cat")
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
O, I don't know - something along those lines, perhaps... [Paranoid]

IJ
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
(X-posted - I was making an observation on BT's drums).

What Miss Amanda said, anyhow. Has she been reading some Church of England parish profiles?

IJ
 
Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :
 
quote:
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

In my local supermarket I once saw a packet of 'rectum and spinal cord -free mince'.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
O rats - they're the best bits.....

[Projectile]

IJ
 
Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
O rats - they're the best bits.....

...

He said mince, not mice.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
Reminds me of the first ingredient listed on a package of frozen crab meat I almost picked up at the supermarket: "crab-like product".

Which brings me to ominous words found on hotel reservation websites:

"Breakfast buffet" ( = reconstituted powdered egg-like product, microwaved bacon-like product, microwaved muffin-like product, etc.)
 
Posted by Kaplan Corday (# 16119) on :
 
"The hospitality industry..." - despite the fact that we PAY for the food, service, accommodation etc. it provides.
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
There really is no need to worry.

I was a student in Germany in the fall of 1956 when the Hungarian revolution and the Suez crisis took place simultaneously.

Like many other American students, I got in touch with the Consulate in Stuttgart and was told, "There is no official emergency yet."

Somehow, the combination of 'official' and 'yet' was not reassuring.

Moo
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
"We are a small but growing parish"

Could also mean, "We are a tiny village but developers are about to build 1000 new houses".

Which reminds me: "Luxury dwellings" (= ordinary houses). "Affordable housing" (= slightly less exorbitant but poky).

[ 22. June 2017, 22:11: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
There really is no need to worry.

I was a student in Germany in the fall of 1956 when the Hungarian revolution and the Suez crisis took place simultaneously.

Like many other American students, I got in touch with the Consulate in Stuttgart and was told, "There is no official emergency yet."

Somehow, the combination of 'official' and 'yet' was not reassuring.

Moo

At that time it would probably have meant that no bombs had yet been dropped.

[ 22. June 2017, 22:24: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
"networking opportunity"

"Community Leader"
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"Clearly, therefore ..." (in an academic paper, signifying a huge illogical leap which the writer hopes no-one will notice).

"I'm only going to be five minutes" (by a driver, challenged when parking on private land).

"And you say you are Christians" (by a driver, challenged when parking in a private church car park).
 
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :
 
"We'll come back to that later/shortly," when spoken by a preacher (Mea culpa...).

[ 23. June 2017, 09:23: Message edited by: Stejjie ]
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
All-age worship/ service = aimed squarely at the level of a dim 10 year-old (at best) with cacophonal interludes provided of either moronic action songs and/or worship dirges, all accompanied by a "music group" exclusively for those with little musical talent or training [Ultra confused]
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
'Something to suit all tastes'- most people will find one thing they're more or less OK with, amidst a lot of crud.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"Fine dining" = a very fancy room, lots of flummery, poor food.

"Morning gathered" = bought from supermarket the moment it opened.

"Hand-finished" = some poor sod sat by the production line sticking a single chocolate bean on top of each one.

"Lovingly created" = mass-produced.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Sale" = we jacked up the prices so it looks like we've discounted them.
 
Posted by The Midge (# 2398) on :
 
quote:
"I'll get back to you on that."
And meanwhile I won't hold my breath.
 
Posted by Ohher (# 18607) on :
 
"One size fits all" . . . except me.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ohher:
"One size fits all" . . . except me.

[Overused]
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
"Yes we understand perfectly".
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
From Metservice -

"Occasional showers"

"Morning fog" (If you're lucky it will clear by teatime).

Huia
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
"There will be a brief interruption to normal services...."
 
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
"G flat minor is a key anyone can sing in" - usually said by the organist.
 
Posted by Ohher (# 18607) on :
 
From the tech-support voice at the other end of the phone: "That should work . . ."
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
Any time you call into tech support, customer "service," whatever and spend 45 minutes listening to ghastly "hold" music... you finally reach a human, explain the problem, and they say "let me just transfer your call." You know the next thing you hear will be the dial tone.
 
Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Over the last few weeks I've become very fed up with 'the will of the people' being used by politicans.
 
Posted by Alwyn (# 4380) on :
 
"Patriot" and "patriotic"

as in:-

"I am a patriot. I am not allowed to say this because it is not politically correct, but..."

"Don't you think that the media should report [...] in a more patriotic way?"
 
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :
 
On a different tack...

On booting up your computer: "Windows is getting your computer ready" - aka, you will not be able to use the thing for ages (this normally happens when you need to use it very urgently!).
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Kids eat half price" = choose a different restaurant to enjoy a quiet dinner.
 
Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :
 
At the meat counter, "Frozen Fresh Thawed."
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
@Amanda: "Kids go free" = choose a different hotel.
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
"Just a little scratch".
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
It'll be over by Christmas
 
Posted by Barnabas Aus (# 15869) on :
 
"Let's take a helicopter view of the problem" - in other words he or she hasn't got the faintest idea how to solve it.
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Lets not forget the childhood favourite Wait 'till your father gets home [Eek!]

[ 25. June 2017, 12:55: Message edited by: L'organist ]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
"You won't even notice that we're here" - from builders/workmen.

Or its corollary: "This may cause a little bit of disruption".
 
Posted by wild haggis (# 15555) on :
 
"Strong and Stable" aka weak and wobbly.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
"I'm glad you asked me that question..." = a Polly Titian is about to prevaricate, and/or tell fibs...

IJ
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
Lets not forget the childhood favourite Wait 'till your father gets home [Eek!]

or the Scouse equivalent:

Wait 'til your father's sober!
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
"You won't even notice that we're here" - from builders/workmen.

... builders being builders, chances are they're not there. [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
From news websites e.g. BBC:

"Subject X - all you need to know"

[Mad]

I'll be the judge of that.....

IJ
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
The latest neologism from customer service: "Best Effort".
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Your call is important to us
true meaning = you've already been on-hold for 2 minutes; expect to be on hold for at least another 10 and, frankly (my dear) we couldn't give a sh*t.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
From news websites e.g. BBC:

"Subject X - all you need to know"

Equally - in shops or newspapers - "!) Essential for a happy holiday (or whatever)".
 
Posted by Ohher (# 18607) on :
 
From a TV commercial for an anti-depressant:

"Side effects may include depression . . ."

From a TV commercial for an asthma drug:

"Side effects may include death from asthma . . ."
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
That would be a drug to ameliorate the symptoms of asthma, right?

I'm reminded of Sir Walter Raleigh's remarks* anent the headsman's axe, just before he was executed:

"'Tis a sharp remedy, but a sure one for all ills"

IJ

(*or words to that effect - accounts differ, but you get the point. Or the edge.)
 
Posted by Ohher (# 18607) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
That would be a drug to ameliorate the symptoms of asthma, right?

I'm reminded of Sir Walter Raleigh's remarks* anent the headsman's axe, just before he was executed:

"'Tis a sharp remedy, but a sure one for all ills"

IJ

(*or words to that effect - accounts differ, but you get the point. Or the edge.)

Yes. Though I'm a bit more taken by the notion of death as a "side effect." As you and Sir Walter note, it's a cure-all.
 
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
On the Tube, announced after a long list of 'minor
delays', 'severe delays' and 'planned engineering works':

"A good service is running on all other lines".

My response is usually to quote Eric Morecambe, from the
Andre Previn sketch:

"That's only your opinion."
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Baptist Trainfan mentioned:

"Essential for a happy holiday (or whatever)".

- usually referring to one or other of the Feasts of St. Hallmark... [Disappointed]

IJ
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
The next tube is held - can mean 2 minutes or several hours, if not days.

Customer incident - could be a passenger pulling an alarm or someone under a train. Depressingly regular that last one.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Yes, but much better than the appalling 'announcement' I heard one evening many years ago at a crowded Charing Cross:

'Trains are being delayed due to some woman throwing herself onto the line at [can't recall exactly where]' - as though said announcer were police, coroner, jury, and all...

The sharp intake of breath from the assembled multitude was something I'd never heard before. The announcer, I gather, was dismissed instantly.

IJ
 
Posted by Nicolemr (# 28) on :
 
We are being held momentarily due to train traffic in the tunnel ahead. Could mean anything, from five seconds to minutes to hours.
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
That would be a drug to ameliorate the symptoms of asthma, right?

I'm reminded of Sir Walter Raleigh's remarks* anent the headsman's axe, just before he was executed:

"'Tis a sharp remedy, but a sure one for all ills"

IJ

(*or words to that effect - accounts differ, but you get the point. Or the edge.)

Thanks, Bishop's Finger. There is a book by Reginald Hill titled

A Cure for All Diseases. I knew the title was a quotation, but I couldn't remember where it came from. I thought it was Shakespeare, so I wasn't too far off in the timing.

Huia
 
Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
“We have to get with the program. Let’s keep up with the times.” - a city council member at last week's Planning Committee, speaking in favour of a high rise development in a congested area with inadequate access and parking.
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
"Peace in our time"
Chamberlain 1939
 
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
"Peace in our time"
Chamberlain 1939

Benjamin Disraeli, 1878, said it first after the Congress of Berlin. Both times the phrase is actually "peace for our time".

(I think Chamberlain has had a bit of an undeserved rough treatment by history as an appeasing ditherer. He was roundly cheered and congratulated for getting an agreement with Herr Hitler)
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Lose 40 pounds with just 20 minutes a day on our latest [brand name] home workout apparatus."

Sweetie, if I had the bod you had in your "before" photo, I could get all the exercise I needed by just rolling my eyes. If anyone didn't need to lose 40 ounces, let alone 40 pounds, it was you!

And of course you lost 40 pounds. That's how much the money weighed that you had to shell out for the "latest home workout apparatus."

As for me, I couldn't lose 40 pounds if I exercised on that danged contraption for 20 hours a day, every day, from now to Kingdom Come.

(Sorry if this has turned into a rant.) [Mad]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
The next tube is held - can mean 2 minutes or several hours, if not days.

Customer incident - could be a passenger pulling an alarm or someone under a train. Depressingly regular that last one.

Better perhaps than an announcement I once heard on the Intercity to Glasgow: "We are now approaching Carnforth station. We are running approximately 10 minutes late. This is entirely due to delays occurred before reaching Carnforth". [Confused]
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
There's a Goon-show-like mad logic in that, somehow, somewhere.....

[Paranoid]

IJ
 
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Delays due to "Signalling Problems" or "Points problems" around here, especially on early morning trains (before 7am) often means that someone has stolen the copper cables again.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Better perhaps than an announcement I once heard on the Intercity to Glasgow: "We are now approaching Carnforth station. We are running approximately 10 minutes late. This is entirely due to delays occurred before reaching Carnforth". [Confused]

This reminds me of one of the few times I have been on a plane. In St. Louis, heading back to Philadelphia, my plane was delayed on the ground "because of congestion in the air at Philadelphia." Okay, that seemed fair enough. Delay a bit on the ground to allow those other planes to clear out before we got there.

Except that once we got up in the air, the pilot promised that they would fly a little faster so that the plane arrived at its originally scheduled time. But...but...but...if we are going to be in the air over Philly at the same time as scheduled, then it served No Purpose At All to wait on the ground in St. Louis.

Back to the OP, I have developed a dread of hearing the phrase "for a limited time" in a commercial. One commercial (for a "free" book that will teach me how to make millions) urges me to hurry because the offer of a free book is for a limited time and "when they are gone, they are gone." This particular commercial has run every day for about two years now. Another one, promising a special deal on a collection of Old Time Radio recordings, has been available "for a limited time" for about 8 months now.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
I have developed a dread of hearing the phrase "for a limited time" in a commercial. One commercial <<snip>> has been available "for a limited time" for about 8 months now.

This is especially true of commercials offering gold coins. "A five dollar gold coin, legal tender, yours for only $19.95. Hurry, act now, to avoid disappointment and future regret."

Well, first of all, if it's legal tender, then it's worth $5.00, not $19.95. The only "future regret" I would have is spending four times than what it is worth.

Oh, and have you noticed that almost all products offered in TV commercials cost $19.95?

[ 10. July 2017, 14:33: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
Limited time offers remind me of a fabric shop in Wellington that had a "Closing Down Sale" sign that was up for a number of years. I think the Commerce Commission finally had it removed as misleading advertising.

Huia
 
Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Limited time offers remind me of a fabric shop in Wellington that had a "Closing Down Sale" sign that was up for a number of years. I think the Commerce Commission finally had it removed as misleading advertising.

Huia

Also in Taihape – been empty for several years.

GG
 
Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
Party political slogans

The National Party's 'delivering for New Zealanders' begs the question, 'Delivering what?'

Exactly what I think every time I drive past it.

Poverty and unaffordable housing was suggested. I'd add 'adequate health care.'

GG
 
Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :
 
One from where I work:

"We will be upgrading your version of X."

This means you can be d*mned sure X won't work for the next week and probably your whole computer will crash too.
 
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
It'll only be for a few days.
 
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :
 
"Ha, ha! You'll get used to me - I'm ker-azy, me!"

"I just say it like it is, y'know? No BS, no beating around the bush, no messing around with me. I just cut the crap and speak as I find."

(Either of these are especially bad when spoken by the person taking up residence at the desk/cubicle next to you in the office...)
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
GG - Indeed.
 
Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :
 
Youe call is important to us
== No it isn't

Response may be delayed due to unusually heavy call volume.

== Our usual inadequate staffing.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

== The way we train our staff to say "f*** off"
 
Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :
 
Translations from the dental
 
Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
"You're not planning to keep this car much longer, are you?" (mechanic, yesterday morning).
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
"Yes, we'll order a new [household fixture] for you, but it will take a month for it to be shipped." Said by office staff in the apartment complex I've just moved into.

Meaning, we hope you'll forget about it meanwhile.

Actually, I can pop round to the local appliance store and pick one up this afternoon.
 
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :
 
Said to me by my 10 year-old daughter (who's not had much practice at baking) when I was upstairs doing work and she was downstairs with her friends:

"Dad, we've just started doing some baking..."
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Surely, even worse would be 'Dad, we've just finished some baking.'

[Paranoid]

IJ
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
No, if you didn't already know it (by the clouds of smoke in the air) it would be GOOD news.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Fair comment, LC!

IJ
 
Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :
 
Closed Meeting
 
Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
The following note appeared in the staff meeting minutes from our public library this week:

"It was suggested that if the robots are bothering people that they could be moved to another area in the library."
 
Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
Is this your writing? [Ultra confused]
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
Closed Meeting

As opposed to "meeting closed" which could be a source of considerable relief.
[Big Grin]

Huia
 


© Ship of Fools 2016

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.5.0