Thread: Is it time for another game of Rosencrantz? Board: The Circus / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Or is it Guildenstern?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Might it not be both of them?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Explanation? Rules?
Anyway, I thought they were dead.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Doesn't everything have to be phrased as a question?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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Why shouldn't it be?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Are they dead? Why did nobody tell me?
Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on
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what's going on here ?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Aren't we discussing whether or not two minor characters from Hamlet, as expanded by Tom Stoppard [did you know I was at school with his brother?], are extant or not?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
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Can anybody join in or do you have to be in the know?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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Can we ever truly "know" anything?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does Cogito Ergo Sum mean nothing?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Are meaningless phrases allowed?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Aren't Radisson and Groseilliers more colourful?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did Shakespeare mention them at all?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Weren't they supposedly friends of Hamlet?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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If they weren't friends, were they enemies?
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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They were supposed to be cousins but were they 'kissing cousins'?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Is kissing one's cousin permitted within the laws of consanguinity?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does that not depend on the jurisdiction?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Is the jurisdiction Denmark, England, or Germany?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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Is Rosencrantz a Danish name?
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
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Is it a portmanteau word meaning squished rose ?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Could that be what's rotten in the state of Denmark?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Or might that just be the Danish Blue cheese?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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When I love blue cheese so much why does Danish Blue just taste to me like soap?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
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Did you brush your teeth before eating it, or after?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Why would one brush one's teeth before eating Danish Blue cheese?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Shouldn't food be eaten with a palate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Shouldn't I have added the word clean before the word palate?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Does palate have any relation to palatial?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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What use is a clean palate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Does palate have any relation to palatial?
With the cost of dental treatment these days can you doubt it?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Have you ever doubted your dentist?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Are you referring to his existence?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Should we not doubt all existence except our own?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Is existentialism depressing?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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If I think I'm depressed, does it mean that I am?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
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Wasn't that what Popeye said?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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Was Popeye depressed?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Does spinach cure depression?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Or does it merely postpone it for a while?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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Are you suggesting that Popeye is a procrastinator?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Well, did he actually marry Olive or just dally with her affections?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Who do you think is SweePea's father?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Is Darth Vader Sweetpea's father?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Don't some theologians consider Ms. Oyl to have been a virgin, and more than that, an Extra Virgin?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would that make her a wise virgin or a foolish virgin?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Did Olive Oyl run out of olive oil?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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May I be so bold as to suggest that she is a Perpetual Virgin?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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And if so, is that the cause of Popeye's depression?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is he undergoing therapy?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Are you suggesting that men are only interested in sex?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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If I were would you be shocked?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
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Isn't interest is sex a shared experience for all males from 12-99? Is that range inclusive enough?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did you mean shared interest or shared experience?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Isn't disinterested experience a turnoff?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Or could it be considered a fetish, or the ultimate in cool?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do you want cool this time of year?
[ 18. October 2015, 16:10: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Doesn't it depend where in the world you are?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Are you often confused as to where in the world you are?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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I don't know - where in the world am I?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Your name wouldn't happen to be Carmen Sandiego, would it?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Did you ask for directions?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Do you know where I can find the directions on how to ask for directions?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Would you know them if you saw them?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Aren't they clearly labeled?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Isn't it a bit unfair to go around labeling things?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Isn't it hard to find stuff in the pantry if you don't?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Is what you call a pantry what I call a larder?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
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Do you keep lard in the larder and pants in the pantry?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would it be too confusing to keep pants in the larder and lard in the pantry?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Are you using the American or the English definition of the word 'pants'?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Didn't we have a shippie called Pants?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Isn't her husband called Socks?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Or was Socks Mr. Clinton's cat?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Wasn't that the cat the killed the last of the St Christopher's Robins, making the species extinct?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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So can Mr Clinton be blamed for that as well?
[ 19. October 2015, 13:45: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Didn't he get blamed for everything?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Where does Mrs Clinton figure in all this?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Isn't she heading for the White House?
Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on
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Am I supposed to have read every message on this thread?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Why didn't you all wait for me to return before posting so prolifically?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Do we have to all wait until everyone is here?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Who is everyone?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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I haven't met everyone, have you?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Didn't Emily Dickenson write: I'm Everybody, Who are you? Are you Everybody too?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Who in the world misspelled "Dickinson"?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
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Who doesn't use Preview Post ?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Would it prevent random goofs if we did?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Should Random Goofs be prevented?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Is he the bloke who is always putting his foot in it?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Sure you're not thinking of the Duke of Edinburgh?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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If he didn't exist would we have to invent him?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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Would you want to invent him?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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If it was necessary would I have a choice?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
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Is choice therefore just an illusion?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Isn't that what some Hyper-Calvinists say?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Don't Calvinists tend to be somewhat downbeat?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do we blame that on Calvin?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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What does Hobbes have to say about it?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
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Can he say anything about it or is his mouth full of tuna sandwich?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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How come he gets tuna when everyone else has cheese?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do you think that is favouritism?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Wouldn't he spell that "favoritism"?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Would it depend on what his favourite/favorite cheese was?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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What's the difference between cheese and milk that's gone off?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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And where does yoghurt fit into the equation?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are the equations simultaneous?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Can you walk and chew gum?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Aren't there some places where you can get arrested for chewing gum?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Isn't chewing gum cruel to those with Misophonia?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Has someone been searching Wikipedia for insights again?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is that really so reprehensible?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Aren't we told to judge not, lest we too be judged and found wanting?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Don't judges want evidence?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Have you any evidence of that?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Of what?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Wasn't he the bloke that invented the whistling kettle?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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Did it whistle while it worked?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Is whistling a requirement for certain jobs?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does it appear on the Job Description or the Person Specification?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Is there a test at the interview?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do I need to bring my resume?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
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Would it be thick enough to stop this table from wobbling?
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
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Would moving away from the earthquake zone help with the wobble ?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
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Would it be exciting to be in an earthquake?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Don't some people chase tornados, for excitement?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Is this evidence that some people find natural disasters exhilerating?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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How would they rate unnatural disasters?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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PG? NC-17? R? X?
Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on
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Is your real name Bletchley? Or Enigma?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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And if the latter, did you write any Variations?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Why does that post make me think of Paganini?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do I notice a theme developing here?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is that the theme tune from Startrek?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does that mean it is a franchise?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Would you like fries with that?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Do you think I normally answer in the affirmative to that kind of question?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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How would you classify that question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Isn't classifying questions limiting?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Mightn't that be the whole point of doing it?
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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If it wasn't the point, why would anyone do it?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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What else would anyone do?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Do you think it's possible to do anything significantly different?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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What's wrong with the way we've always done things?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Who is WE in that context?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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What context do you think we applies to?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Does there have to be an application?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Weren't applications once known as software?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Who is WE in that context?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Isn't that a repetition?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
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Isn't software a teddy bear?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Aren't all the teddy bears at a picnic?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Isn't it a bit chilly for a picnic?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Don't all the teddy bears come to Arizona for the winter?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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How do you tell a girl teddy from a boy teddy?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Why do people inject gender stereotypes into everything?
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on
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How is one example of gender stereotyping "everything"?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Why doesn't stereotyping mean typing with both hands?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
Why doesn't stereotyping mean typing with both hands?
It really should, shouldn't it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Should we change meanings for our own convenience?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Is it convenient to type with both hands?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Isn't convenience a pseudonym?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can it not also be what it is?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Are you Ludwig Wittgenstein in disguise?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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What gave me away?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Could it have been the hat?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Am I alone in thinking that hats are among the most uncomfortable pieces of clothing?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Did your mother never make you wear the scratchy abomination of hessian trousers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did you know that in my fashionable days I bought myself a pair?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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How can a day be fashionable?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Wasn't Doris Day fairly fashionable?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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But surely that wasn't that only in her day?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
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Was she also not fashionable in the evening?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Do you think it must have been hard work being fashionable all day and all evening?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Was she sufficiently rewarded for her efforts?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Do you think being fashionable is its own reward?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Wasn't it Dame Ngaio Marsh who said "There’s something inherently vulgar in fashion."?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Do you like such vulgar talk?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Doesn't everybody?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do they?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Isn't it obvious?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Would you like some of my vulgar pictures then?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Could we take a pass on that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Which pass would you like to take? The Khyber is supposed to be impressive, is it not?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Does it impress you much?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Wouldn't you rather be impressed than depressed?
Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on
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Can I have a couple of minutes to think about that?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Will you be any wiser after two minutes of reflection?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Would your reflection be a mirror image?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Aren't vampires missing reflections?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Has somebody reported a reflection missing?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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If so, is it likely that anyone will find it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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What should one do if one finds it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can't we just reflect it back?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Isn't that similar to ping pong?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is that the same as table tennis?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Aren't Ping and Pong opera characters?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are you referring to Turandot?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Did you forget Pang?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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But might we mention Kang, especially if he sang Klingon opera?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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What about Kanga, the friend of Winnie the Pooh?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Has Pooh been made into an opera?
Posted by argona (# 14037) on
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Wasn't Pooh made into a hot water bottle cosy?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Wasn't Turandot written by Pooh-cini?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Why did you have to remind me of porcini mushrooms, considering my unfortunate experience at the mushroom farm last week?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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How we were supposed to know about your alleged mushroom incident?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Was there gravy involved too?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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Can I have some of that gravy with chips?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Wouldn't that make the chips soggy and horrid?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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You're not from around here, are you little Piglet?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
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Don't you think the Belgian version of chips with mayonnaise is much nicer?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do they put mayonnaise on Brussels sprouts?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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Would that improve them?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Wouldn't anything be an improvement?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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How wide is your scope when using the word anything?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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You don't agree that dousing them in petrol & setting fire to them would be an improvement?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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Why would we do that to such a delectable veggie?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
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Why can't you cook the poor vegetables in a way that makes them edible, instead?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Isn't that a line from Spitting Image?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Isn't spitting what many people do having tried to masticate a sprout?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Have you never tried the delicious alternative of roasting them?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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Have you tried the delicious option of not eating then and having something nicer instead?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Didn't you know that uncooked sprouts are excellent for juggling, or that you can play cricket with them using the raw stem as the bat?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Does anyone honestly understand the rules of cricket or do you make it up as you go along?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is it cricket to criticise the imaginative use of sprouts to play cricket?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Would the England cricket team have more success if they used Brussels sprouts instead of cricket balls?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do crickets eat Brussels sprouts?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Are they not rather more partial to aubergine?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Why oh why didn't Jeremy Cricket get an Oscar for his supporting role on Pinocchio?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
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But, wasn't his name Jiminy?
Posted by argona (# 14037) on
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Do we need another Jeremy in our universe?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Who is Jeremy, and by jiminy what does he have to do with crickets, grasshoppers, locusts, brussels sprouts and eggplants?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
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Do you think you should be impugning the name Jeremy when we have so many Shipmates called Jeremy?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Wouldn't it be more Christian to impugn the name Jiminy, thereby offending far fewer Shipmates?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Did you double-check the spelling of 'impugn' and 'impugning' before posting?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Do you mean that Curiosity killed and I are spelling it wrong?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you think spelling is so important in a place like this?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Don't you think that spelling should be taught in any and every plaice?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Don't you think it's important to teach spells at Hogwarts?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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I take spells often these days - does this make me an old witch?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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Why would anybody think of you as old?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Is there such a thing as a young witch?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Do you not think that a good witch could disguise her age with an enchantment?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is a good witch a master or a mistress of disguise?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Couldn't that be seen as a rather complex and politically motivated question?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Is the existence of witches not, au fond* questionable?
* at bottom; essentially
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Whose bottom are you questioning?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
Does my bottom look big in this?*
* answer: probably.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Why the concentration in the thread on bottoms, when mountain tops are so much more uplifting?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Don't some bottoms need uplifting?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Can you buy underwear and jeans to reshape rears for men and women?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Have you never heard of shapewear?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
But does it exist for men as well as women?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does it work effectively for either?
Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on
:
Can you believe that I tried it once?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
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How uncomfortable was it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Did it make you look sexy?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you saying I need help in looking sexy?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Doesn't everyone need help in looking sexy?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Isn't that the point of the Beatles' song "Help!"?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
And don't you feel sorry for the much called upon Somebody in that song?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't you want Somebody to love?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Doesn't seem that a lot of Blues songs could be called Nobody to Love?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Isn't it about time for you to get ready for bed?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How ready does one need to be?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do you need help getting into you pajamas?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think I need to wear pyjamas in this climate?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Do we need the mental visions that conjures up?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you order Brain Bleach online?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Doesn't the online-store-named-after-a-South-American river stock it?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Is Orinoco.com your chosen supplier of imaginary goods?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Doesn't Orinoco go Wombling free?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a good price?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How much do you usually pay?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Before or after tax?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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Why can't they just quote the price including the tax?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Are they just trying to make us do the math in our heads?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you mean that in the sense of a ship's head?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you usually do maths in the ships head?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that better than doing it in a sheep's head?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Aren't sheep's stomachs (suitably voided) better than sheep's brains?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean they show more intelligence?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't they require the addition of oatmeal to make a genuine haggis?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Have you ever met an ingenuine haggis?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't that disingenuous?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can that term be applied to lunch?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How does that work for Lancastrians who call get confused and use word 'dinner' when they mean lunch?
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on
:
What do the Plantagenets have to do with mealtimes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did they not eat?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
If they can't eat bread, should they eat brioche?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you want Marmite™ with that?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Can someone explain to me the appeal of Marmite?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Let's put it this way: are you familiar with licking the bum of a pug?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Well, if it turns you on who am I to say nay?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If you were a horse would you say neigh?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
If I am hoarse, can I say anything?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Would you like a throat syrup for that?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
:
Does it taste good?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is it in the best possible taste?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Don't pastilles have to taste horrid to work?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
I love looking at pastels but do people really eat them, too?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't some people, especially little kids, put all sorts of things in their mouths?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Isn't it usually worms that meet their sad demise that way?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are we trying to remind ourselves of what David Cameron did?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Why would one ever want to open that can of worms?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you suggesting he stuck in a can or worms too?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is there anything beneath him?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is he held up by hot air?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that in short supply in Parliament?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you want me to pop 500 yards down the road and check?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Would it do any good?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that rather depend on a precise definition of how you mean the word "good"?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Do we really want to veer into Bill Clinton territory?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't that the definition of sex you're thinking of?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Could you explain that comment to me?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Would you think less of me if I told you that I cannot?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean you are unable to do it or you do not wish to do it?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Would it make a difference either way?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Don't differences make the world go round?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
I thought the responsibility for that could be laid at love's door, am I mistaken?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't love a many splendid thing?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shouldn't that be many-splendored?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Are you always that pedantic?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
So many things in life need correcting, how can one resist?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is resistance futile?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
If you resist futilely are you simply irresistible?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Or irresistibly simple?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Can you explain the difference?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
If you can, does that mean you should?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Are there penalties either way?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Who made up the silly rules anyway?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why do you think they're silly?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't an awful lot of life all the better for being silly?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Isn't an awful lot of life awful?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on attitude?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Would greater altitude help?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Doesn't greater altitude lead to altitude sickness?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Do you think that mountain climbers need to have an aptitude for altitude?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't that depend on their attitude?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Attitude, schmattitude, what's all this emphasis on attitude?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it not an important subject?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Subject to what?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Isn't that something of a subjective question?
[ 01. November 2015, 13:31: Message edited by: mousethief ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What are you talking about?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you really so dull-witted that you need it explaining to you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What was the question again?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Are you questioning the question now?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does a questioner not have the right to question a question?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Is this game twisting itself into a knot of semantics?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Isn't anti-semanticism frowned upon these days?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Shouldn't you be careful not to make accusations based on inaccurate slanderous conclusions?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Will thus avoiding slander win me doughnuts in Heaven?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Will I have the choice of jam or custard doughnuts in heaven, if I get in?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Which would you choose if there were?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Aren't apple filled doughnuts on offer?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If they don't have chocolate ones can I send out for some?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Do doughnut shops deliver to that address?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Don't they normally have a delivery limit of 5 miles?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Isn't there a doughnut angel?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Do doughnut angels deliver on the head of a pin?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did Pinhead (of Hellraiser fame) fancy doughnuts whilst in the trenches?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Are you sure you don't mean Zippy the Pinhead and his trenchant wit?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't Zippy a Sesame Street character?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does anyone else find Zippy the Pinhead creepy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a reflection of your inner torment?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
What makes you think I'm tormented?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Might it have something to do with your midnight wailing and throwing furniture out of the window?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Why use a window when there are plenty of doors?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Are all the locks on those doors keyed the same?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Should they be in a major or minor key?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that depend on the size of the door?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why are blokes always obsessed with size?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Don't women think about size too?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Doesn't sizing* fabric often result in stronger material?
*Adding a liquid which gives the fabric more substance.
[ 02. November 2015, 15:19: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Am I right in thinking you are trying to evade the question raised by Raptor Eye?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Isn't that the polite thing to do?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Which is better, polite or interesting?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Would you bet butter is better that margarine?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Does anyone remember the slogan "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it made up by people with no tastebuds?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Can you believe I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is not butter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is belief purely subjective?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If the answer to that were in the affirmative, could that in any way be thought of as objective?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Can something be both butter and not-butter at the same time?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we back to the cat in the box?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What about the cat in the hat?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Did the cat in the box wear a hat?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Will we ever know for sure?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Can we take it that it was a hat box?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
If a cat was in a hat in a box, or in a hat box, how could it box if there are no boxing gloves?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was it Boxing Day?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
If it's Boxing Day, where's my present?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Might you be a foxhound?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
If I were a foxhound, would I have to live in the UK?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would you rather live where they eat dogs?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Does dog taste like chicken?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Doesn't everything taste like chicken?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does it indicate taste bud or brain problems if everything tastes the same?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Is there something wrong with our brains, even if we are not buddies?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't brain a rather elastic concept?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Could you use a brain to hold up your knickers?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you met my aunt Sue?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is there something you're trying to tell us about your Aunt Sue's knickers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a proper subject for public discussion?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Even if it weren't, would we discuss it anyway?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is a discuss a circular object thrown in athletic sport?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you been hit in the head by a discus?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If you release it before time is that classified as a slipped discus?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Would physical therapy help with that?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Did physical therapy help Aunt Sue?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could she sue the therapist if it didn't help?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't you need to consult a lawyer to determine that?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would that be a family lawyer or one specialising in conveyancing?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Did you ever convey to your Aunt Sue her need for help?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was your aunt a boy named Sue?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are ants considered individually nameable outside of cartoons?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Do ants whistle "The ants go marching one by one"* while pushing carts?
*Kids' song.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why would ants push carts?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Are you denying the ants' right to push carts?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I not merely asking why they would bother?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Are you expecting me to be a mind-reader now?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are your expectations legitimate subjects for discussion?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you suggesting Mousethief is expecting something illegitimate?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Has there been some confusion here between aunts and ants?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What makes you think that?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Are we supposed to think today?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't ants move rubber tree plants?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
And do they then fall over?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
They bounce back, don't they?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Isn't "tree plants" redundantly repetitive?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
They shoot horses, don't they?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that a confession?
Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on
:
Even it it is, how wise would it be to admit to anything like that on a public board?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are the public bored on the board?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Have they bored holes in the board?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Is this a matter that should be referred to the Board?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
If the Board walks, can I go too?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Would you like to take long walk with a bored doc on a board dock?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Does this disinterested physician make bad puns?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
On the hickory board walk, is the doc Dr. Dickory?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Who was it who used to say that?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
A mouse wasn't it, who ran up a clock?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Since time flies, surely the mouse must be Mighty Mouse, the cartoon superhero?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If time flies like an arrow, isn't it true that fruit flies like a banana?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What does that imply about a horse fly?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Don't you become hoarse if you sing karaoke for too long in the Flying Horse?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Wouldn't it be better to join a choir?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
What if I'm already in a choir?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Could you not then buy yourself a quire?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Why would I want to acquire a quire?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Why would I want to acquire a quire?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Why are you repeating yourself?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Isn't that better than repeating someone else?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Wouldn't that depend on what and whom one is repeating?
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
:
How did I miss 9 pages of a Rosencranz thread repeating itself here?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Were you otherwise occupied?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
How many legs does an occupie have?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does it taste as good as pumpkin pie?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Has anyone else heard of the wonderful French recipe which involves layers of garlic croutons, bacon, Emmental cheese and cream, all baked inside a deseeded pumpkin?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
What about pumpkin soup baked inside the pumpkin?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it have garlic croutons and cream?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Doesn't that have a lot of calories?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What is your benchmark for 'a lot'?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Is it just a shorthand for "more than I ought to be consuming in one go"?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does anyone still use shorthand?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Whoever heard of a shorthanded pumpkin?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Don't you write on your pumpkin in longhand?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you write on your pumpkin or do you just cut out shapes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
We eat ours, is that weird?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't it start to deteriorate almost immediately after sculpting?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it easier just to chop it in chunks before sauteing it?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
If you are after ease, why not forget the pumpkin and order a takeaway instead?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Doesn't that involve getting up to open the front door?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could you order pizza and have them slide it under the door?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
And post the payment through the letterbox?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that mean that deep-crust is out?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't you know what deep crust does to your chloresterol levels?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think it really matters?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Do you have a doctor who yells at you like mine does?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Isn't that patient abuse?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't that sound more like he/she is impatient?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
What if s/he's an impatient out patient?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you patent that sentence?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Isn't that patently absurd?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it the absurdities of life that make it so much fun?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't the word 'absurd' onomatopoeic?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Would that make it a buzz word?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you hear the insects in the evenings where you are?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you likening my home to a swamp?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you have alligators in it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or could it possibly be a hive of industry?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Does that mean you live in an industrial suburb?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does industry require WORK?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Have you seen a doctor about that?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do you have a doctorate?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Have you been sifting through my portfolio again?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Are you a model or an artist?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't they both sometimes used as euphemisms for something else?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What's a euphemism for 'euphemism'?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't Roget suggest something like Malapropism?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Do you find Roget too suggestive?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does he give a synonym for "suggestive"?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wouldn't that be 'Ooer Missus?'
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" qualify?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Why are you flirting with me?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Is this something the rest of us should watch, or should we cover our eyes?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Has anyone got a spare eyepatch?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Did you know that there is a theory that pirates wore eye patches just to keep one eye dark-adjusted so that, when the pirate went into the darkness below ship, that eye would be able to see better?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Did you know there is a theory that eyepatches were safe places for pirates to hide jewels and gold behind?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Why are you talking about behinds?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you rather be singing about them?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What is behind the veil?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you wearing a veil and an eyepatch?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Is that a veiled threat?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is that better than a ream?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wouldn't you prefer cream?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Wouldn't we enjoy ice cream?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you got mint choc chip flavour?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could I get some chocolate syrup on that?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Can there ever be too much chocolate?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Have you ever tried triple chocolate muffins?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do they make quadruple chocolate muffins?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Will it ever end?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Doesn't it ends after the t?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
After tea there's supper, or is it dinner?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Whatever the meal is called, may we pleae eat Filboid Studge?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why would anyone want to eat Filboid Studge?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Wasn't he the bass guitarist for Spinal Tap?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Why should anyone want to eat a mouse, or a musician?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
May I respectfully ask to not be considered a consumable?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Would you consider, in extreme circumstances, consuming some one else?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Shouldn't that depend on the availability of your usual food supply?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shouldn't that depend on what your usual food supply is?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do fava beans and a nice Chianti go with what you usually eat?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Have you ever had fava beans? Or Chianti?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Would you prefer a rioja?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Are you offering?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would you like to pay your offering into my bank account?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Will all our bank accounts be increased today?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
I wouldn't bank on it, would you?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that a river bank?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or could it be a canyon?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that where Clementine and her father lived?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Were her feet really number 9?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Is that a load of Number 2?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Is that your favourite number?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you like me to sing a number?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would my answer possibly offend you?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are you normally this offensive?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you implying that my singing is terrible?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Do you like singing terribly?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't Florence Foster Jenkins a Star?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you comparing me to Florence Foster Jenkins?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or did you mean Katherine Jenkins?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who can ever know what another really meant?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Would it spoil our fun if we did?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
To what kind of fun are you referring?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are people having fun without me?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Were you having fun without us?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that be tough?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Shall we suck on it and see?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it too tough to chew?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is Tombstone, Arizona the town too tough to die?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it dead yet?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or is it dead chuffed?*
*Chuffed - pleased
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can't it be both, simultaneously?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Would that make it Schroedinger's Tombstone town?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why do we have to bring Schroedinger into just about everything?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does he have a cat, or doesn't he?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Doesn't he have a toy piano, at least in the "Peanuts" cartoons?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that why Lucy fancies him?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would that be related to French Fancies?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you talking cakes or saucy underwear?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Are long johns fancy if they have a flap?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are they fanciable at all?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't some people have some strange fetishes?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What would you consider strange?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are strangers strange?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are people strange when you're a stranger?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Haven't stranger things happened?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do stranger things happen at sea?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Why are you talking about strangers things?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why do you find that strange?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I the only one?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Is there no one else?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Haven't you forgotten the stranger on the shore?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is he still watching the tide go out?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Wasn't he sitting on the dock of the bay?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Do you like to put bay leaves in your cooking?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you think Vapilla [Curry Leaves] give more flavour?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Is that on the dinner menu for this evening?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Haven't you had your dinner already?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it already dinner time where you live?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
But does "dinner" refer to the noon meal or the evening meal?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Can't teatime also be dinnertime?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't tee time when one plays golf?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can't we have tea if we use a tee at teatime?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you wear a t-shirt?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
And can I have a T-bone for tea?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't red meat bad for you?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Haven't you read the latest news in which all the things that were bad are now felt to be good?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Great - can you please pass the chocolate?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
By "pass", do you mean.......?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is the meaning not self-explanatory?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is Sipech making a pass at Banner Lady?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is her reply signalled in large letters?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Are the large letters displayed on a banner somewhere?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Don't large letters cost more to post these days?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't everyone use email instead?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Is email worn by eKnights of eRound eTable?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you getting medieval on our asses?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are you leading my ass toward a double entendre?
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on
:
Is this where we have the vapors?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Should I be feeling a little faint?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you angling for a large medicinal brandy?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Or did you have something stronger in mind?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What can you offer me?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun? *
*McDonald's Big Mac.
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Would you call that a fat bun?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you saying I have big buns?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Would Sir Mix A Lot lie to you about such a matter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If he thought he could get away with it why would he not?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But wasn't he referring to a Fat Rascal?*
*speciality large spiced bun to be found in Betty's Teashop, Harrogate and satellite cafes.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are there many satellites that have their own cafe?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't people who live on satellites have to eat too?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can't they find a cafe on Satellite Beach?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is that where you would find a beach bunny?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Is she called Stella?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Are you suggesting that "A Streetcar Named Desire" occurred on a beach or, perhaps, in a Bugs Bunny cartoon?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do they allow streetcars on the beach?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Are they named "Desire?"
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn’t Desirée be more alluring?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is Desirée a streetcar?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Somewhere in the world, who can tell?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do I need to travel to find out who can tell?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Couldn't you look it up on Google?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What if Google's not telling?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it worth trying another search engine?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Is there another search engine??
[ 21. November 2015, 12:05: Message edited by: Lucia ]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Has the engine sought for ever been found?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Who's searching for an engine?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are shipmates keen on it because it contains the letter G-I-N?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Aren't most things better better with some alcohol?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Would that be true for alcoholics?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't most alcoholics think they’re better with some alcohol?
(And how much alcohol had Schroedinger’s Cat had that he was seeing – or at least typing – double?)
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Isn't "not enough" always the answer to those type of questions?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is 'not enough' an insufficient response?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Doesn't the latest technology make most of us feel inadequate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it useful to list our inadequacies?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Should we ignore our technological inadequacies entirely?
[ 22. November 2015, 03:27: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What would The Early Fathers say?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Did they have to wrestle with technology?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't wrestling with fellow humans bad enough?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't they spend their time wrestling with angels?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do geometry students wrestle with angles?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it the Celts that fought the Angles?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Where do the Saxons figure in all this?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are they, perhaps, playing saxophones?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that leaves the other Scandinavians eating Lutefisk?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are the Scandinavians, perhaps, playing lutes?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Did the Jutes play lutes?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't they play flutes?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Or, to look at this in another light, did the Saxons sound the claxons?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
And were the Danes only interested in the Geld[t]?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Weren't the Danes wondering about whether to be or not to be?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we back with Schroedinger's Cat?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is Schroedinger's cat a virtual cat or merely virtuous?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
With so much attention on Schroedinger (with some on Rosencrantz), has Guildenstern been overlooked?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Guildenstern dead -- or is it Rosencrantz?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Haven't we been here before?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we now discussing deja-vu?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
How many statements are really worth repeating?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
Which statements - the true ones or the false ones?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are bank statements sometimes false?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't you wish they were?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Surely banks are allowed to make mistakes, just like the rest of us, aren't they?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But, unlike the rest of us, don't they get rewarded for their mistakes?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't that what led to our financial crisis a few years ago?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How do we ever get so foolish as to re-elect the politicians that caused the whole mess?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was there ever a politician who didn't cause a mess?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that what we pay them for?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
And do we pay them too much?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't they the ones who vote on their own salaries and benefits?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Don't they claim that they can do no other but vote for high increases?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Can you think of any politicians who are selfless rather than self-interested?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Does the Pope do selfies?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you like a selfie with the Pope?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is The Holy Father a politician?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do politicians have holes in their pockets?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be to ease the acceptance of surreptitious bribes?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you planning to bribe the Pope?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can I sell him some secondhand indulgences instead?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would chocolate be sufficiently indulgent?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely second-hand--USED --chocolate would only be available in the lower rings of hell?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Haven't you ever tried the chocolate from Lidl?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it secondhand?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does a watch have a second hand?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a new watch or secondhand watch?
[ 25. November 2015, 14:29: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Who watches the watchers?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who would watch a wood-watchers watch, if a watcher would watch wood?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
A woodpecker?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you trust a woodpecker with your watch?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Did you watch Woody Woodpecker's watch?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can he tell the time?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does he keep his pecker up?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Why are you interested in a cartoon character's pecker?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that a rather personal question?
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
Aren't they the most interesting kind?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Aren't intellectual interests of interest?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Will banks pay interest on them?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are they only interested in personal accounts?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is anecdotal evidence enough?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you know any good anecdotes?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Could I annex an anecdote from a doting aunt?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is "doting" qualitatively different from "dotage"?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is dotage a more tame version of cottage; as in cottaging?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that the manufacture of a sort of soft cheese?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Isn't that a bit cheesy?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Isn't cheese what photographers say we should say?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shouldn't photographers worry more about how we look than what we say?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does anyone look good when saying 'cheese' for a photo?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you seeking an exception that proves a rule?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Has anybody seen my ruler?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't she in The Palace today?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does one dance in The Palace, as with The Palais?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't one do so if the company was right?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Shall we dance?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't you notice my broken ankle, or could your gaze not leave my countenance?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
In your beautiful, your beautiful balloon?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could we flow among the stars, together you and I?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
How far is up up and away?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What units of measurement do you prefer?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Can you use the number of my dreams that float away?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is there a dream merchant out there?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is he taxed on his profits?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why would you tax a prophet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't taxation a social responsibility?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you tax your friends?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Which meaning of the verb "to tax" are you using?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't your prophetic soul answer that one for you?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Would my pathetic sole do as good a job?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that the fish type of sole, or the bottom of your shoe?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I have to explain everything?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Can you explain everything?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Must we always try to explain the mystery and the mess?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't the mess somebody else's fault?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Are you trying to blame me?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Has that happened to you before?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
And if so, wouldn't you know how to deal with it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What if I just don't want to deal with it?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
What would Erin say?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Wasn't she in Pretty Woman?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is there such a thing as beauty prejudice, why not Ugly Woman?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would that be like The Ugly Duckling or The Ugly Dachshund?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would it be lese majeste* to mention ugly corgis?
*Disrespect to our Lady Boss (sorry about the accents - I'm at work and need administrator permission to access them)
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't all dogs beautiful?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does it therefor follow that all beauties are dogs?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who taught you logic?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't logic self-explanatory?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does that mean I have to explain myself?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Would you like to explain someone else?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Ooh, please, can I?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Whom would you like to explain?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can I pick a politician?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't politicians inexplicable?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it seem so to you, too?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't this world but a seeming?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a deeply philosophical question?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What would be a shallow philosophical question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that one not qualify?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you qualified to know?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Does a bronze swimming certificate count?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How can a certificate swim if it's made of bronze?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Is it certifiably bronze?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Must one be bronze if one is certifiable?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would gold or silver be acceptable?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Would a promissory note or an I.O.U suffice?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would you mind if I did a credit check first?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Will I need to show you two forms of identification?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Should the forms be alluring?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Can I take an alluring form?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
In which particular way do you wish to be alluring?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Would you like me to show you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will I ever be ready for such trauma?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why would you find allurement traumatic?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have I not told you about my various medical conditions?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't there a thread for that in All Saints?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't some things a bit personal to air that publicly?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Isn't it rude to pass air publicly?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What if you just can't help it?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is it OK to pass water?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Can you grade water that closely?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What happens if it fails?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can that happen discreetly?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or discretely?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is discretion really the better part of valour?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do I look sexy in velour?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Is it a velour teddy bear suit?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who in their right minds would wear such a thing?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Are they perhaps out of their minds?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting it might be <whispers> a shipmate?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you being suggestive?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would you like a Digestive biscuit, these have no added sugar?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Are you implying that there is something wrong with my digestion?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Just why do the English call them digestive biscuits?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Have you digested anything at all that has been written?
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
:
Have you every contributed an amusing anecdote to Reader's Digest?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is Reader's Digest read by anyone under 80?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why stop at 80?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't the police get huffy if you go much faster?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about miles or kilometers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you really want me to the specific?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
When faced with the specific would you temporize?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you like Japanese food?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Aren't chrysantamums (spelling) beautiful?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
I fulfill all the criteria so why can't I win the lottery?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Might it be because it's a lottery?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that mean I have less chance of winning?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Have you bought a ticket?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I have to do that as well?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are you digging a well?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I seeking oil or water?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you mix oil and water?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't it oil and vinegar that are mixed, to make a dressing?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you dressing your Christmas Tree today?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is it naked?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does the idea of a naked Christmas tree excite you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should we be discussing personal predilections on a public board?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or are we discussing the tree's preferences?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do the tree's preferences really matter?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is the tree in fact anti-matter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you been watching Rocky Horror Picture Show again?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wouldn't it be more satisfying to eat Rocky Road?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be something like Blackpool Rock?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Do you like keeping dentists in work?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Orks are snot covered and grossly deformed in the Lord of the Rings movies, greatly exceeding expectations from the books.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that a question?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might it be a question in another dimension?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Might that be a Rocky Horror Show "Time Warp" ref?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What, again?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Isn't it "just a jump to the left, and a step to the riiiiiiight", and "let's do the Time Warp againnnnnn"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do black stockings suit me?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Could you stand the garter belt that goes with them?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it flamboyant enough?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do we all need these mental images?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What mental images would you prefer?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps a grilled cheese sandwich, a cup of tomato soup, a thrilling book, and an Afghan blanket?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Out of the four listed items which is the more comforting?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
How could you omit the glass of wine?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Haven't you ever drunk straight from the bottle?
Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on
:
With or without a straw?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on how laden the camel was to start with?
Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on
:
What is the best way to load a camel in this day and age?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does the camel get a say in this?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does the camel get any of the wine?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Doesn't the camel just whine?
Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on
:
Should the Camels' Rights' Association (CAMRA) also be consulted?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Will the camel be forced through the eye of a needle?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
And if it is, will the needle ever be any use again?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
It's best to exchange a used needle for a new one, isn't it?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Did you derive that wisdom from watching Trainspotting?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you paint spots on trains?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
If it is a train trimmed with ermine, then doesn't it already have spots?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
But can a train, unlike a leopard, actually change its spots?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
In Disc World, isn't it a question of whether the leopard can change his *shorts*?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we heading back towards my garter again?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Are you a herpetologist?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do herpetologists ever get herpes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't they more likely to catch kraits?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
I'll bite: What in the world are kraits?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How could you not know that‽
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that an interrobang‽
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why would he use one of those?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Why wouldn't he use two?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might that not be excessive?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
If two is excessive, might one and a half do?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Would cutting one in half hurt?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Can I have the other half?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What would you do with half of an interrobang?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Don't you think it would be useful for phrases that are asked half-questioningly?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is half a question better than none?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do nuns ask questions?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps it's not their habit?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is this the way the world ends, not with a bang but a wimple?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do wimple-wearers whimper?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do whispered whimpers count?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you a whimper whisperer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If I were a nun would you ask if I was a wimpled whimper whisperer?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
You mean you're not a nun?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
With four faces, facing in four directions wouldn't a wimple interfere with my vision?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Would whimpering white wimple whisperers worry?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why don't you ask Wudolph the Wed-nosed Weindeer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't he busy in training this time of year?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Wouldn't you rather be a whispering wimple wearer than a reindeer wrangler?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
How long have you been waiting to be able to ask that question somewhere?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Is this the somewhere I've been waiting for?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Who can explain it, who can tell you why?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
If you get out of a plane have you explaned?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If you leave a planet is it self-explanetory?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
To whom are you bequeathing the planet, and which planet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Which one would you prefer?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
If men are from Mars and women from Venus, can I be left somewhere else?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Where would suit you best?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Which planet would suit a winsome whispering wimpering wimpled wimp?
[ 10. December 2015, 11:58: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are they choosing for themselves or being directed to a suitable place?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you trying to lure us into a debate on the nature of whether we truly have the choices we think we do?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would I do that sort of thing?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is there anything you wouldn't do?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Is your sig an answer to that question?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
To which question are you referring?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Questions? Who said anything about questions?
[ 10. December 2015, 15:17: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you wondering what I'd do with several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Would a normal giraffe not suffice?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Isn't the day sufficient unto itself?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
What about when several days attack at once?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are you in a daze?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Should I just be glad it's not a nightmare?
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
:
If it is not a nightmare, does that mean Donald Trump is real ?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Which part of Donald Trump might possibly be real?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do we want any part of Donald Trump to be real?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you find his hair amusing?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you sure it's his hair?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Is it the dawning of the age of aquarius?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you like fish?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do fish like you?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Doesn't that depend upon whether I feed it or it feeds me?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are those the only two possibilities?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could you suggest a third possibility?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are there always at least three options?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that still apply with closed questions?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Could the answer be yes, no, or I don't know?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Rather ironic, given your signature, don't you think?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I expected to think as well?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Think as well as what?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Isn't a well a deep hole in the ground?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you digging yourself a hole?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Well, are you going to tell me what to dig with?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you dig it?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
May I sing Hot diggity dawg?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Do you want ketchup or mustard on that dawg?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you not offering relish?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Would you relish relish?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't relish to be relished?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Must the thing relished be edible?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can you relish something inedible, like stones?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are they rolling stones?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do they gather moss?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be Stirling Moss?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
Or, failing that, Kimi Raikkonen?
eta: why do I sometimes end up at the top of a page, and making even less sense than usual?
[ 14. December 2015, 01:29: Message edited by: Piglet ]
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Yes, indeed, and why can't I be top of the page?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is being top of the page the height of your ambition?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is it not better to avoid disappointment in life by setting modest goals?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What if one sets oneself incredibly low standards then fails to live up to them?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who told you I was a Methodist?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Doesn't one live down to low standards?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Aren't there other things you need to live down?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Wouldn't you rather live it up?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you seen the size, or lack thereof, of my pension?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is this thread worksafe?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting hidden meanings in an otherwise completely innocent post?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why would anyone ever suspect you of such a thing?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it that some people have smutty minds?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does a ride on a steam train give one a smutty mind?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Does it matter if you have an open mind or not?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If your mind is too open will your brains fall out?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
In the case of some politicians, do some lose their brains even if their minds are closed?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that because their mouths are so often open?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Or is it because their ears and minds are so often closed?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that the Ears have Walls syndrome?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
If walls have ears do they also have noses?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it E L Wisty who asked that if his nose ran and his feet smelt, did this mean he was built upside down?
[ 16. December 2015, 07:01: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do ears and noses always come in a package together?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why aren't eyes and mouths included?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is this a game like head and shoulders, knees and toes?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
What makes you think it is a game?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is anybody running a book?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can you walk with a book on your head?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How big is the book?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Why is size always so important to you?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are we starting that again?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can I help it if people deliberately and willfully misconstrue the words of a saint such as myself?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
When did you start being delusional?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Where did you come by the notion that saints are perfect?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is "looking in the mirror" a good answer?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you the fairest of them all?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
I like the food part of the fair, do you prefer the entertainment bit?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Doesn't the treatment section outlast both food and entertainment??
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does anything outlast food as an entertainment?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How about a game of Monopoly?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't cricket go on even longer?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do crickets chirping keep you from playing Monopoly?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
After you've landed on Park Place and paid thousands of dollars, don't you just hate it when you roll a two and do the same to Boardwalk?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why so keen on the US version when you could have Park Lane and Mayfair instead?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Anyone for knock poker?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Why so keen on the US version when you could have Park Lane and Mayfair instead?
Which version do you think sold in Canada in the 1940s?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wasn't the original game based on Atlantic City, New Jersey?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you really think I need a new jersey in this climate?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why stop at Jersey when you could visit Sark ?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't a jersey something you wear?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
You mean like c*nd*m?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What are the missing letters supposed to be?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
One doesn't wear one of those to keep warm, does one?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about a jersey cow?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Do brown cows give chocolate milk?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do black cows give liquid licorice?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Have you ever seen a purple cow?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Is purple the appropriate liturgical colour for cows?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that be only during Advent and Lent?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Aren't you glad your Advent abstinence is almost over?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does my personal abstinence ever end?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you mean abstinence or obstinance?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you not seen my new hair shirt?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Have you posted a picture where everyone can see it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think I am an egomaniacal, egotistical exhibitionist?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you enjoy alliterations?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Aren't alliterations always advantageous?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
May I take advantage of this opportunity to render thanks for the many posts which intervene between mine?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you usually take advantage of opportunities?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
What if you don't hear it knocking?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Knock, knock, who's there?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who would you like it to be?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who would you prefer if your only choice was between Donald Trump and Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that supposed to be The Texas Chainsaw Mascara?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does Donald Trump wear mascara?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be to go with his toupee?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can a toucan wear a toupee?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does it take a toucan to tango?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is there a non-orange-flavoured alternative?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you denying the Thatcherite totalitarian maxim of TINA?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't the link you quoted clearly show that there are alternatives?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Isn't this getting a bit too political?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
If I rub my parrot's tummy, is that political?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Where on earth (or indeed anywhere else) did that come from?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does Polly want a tickle?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Are you feeling frisky?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If I am is this an appropriate place to discuss it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why won't you tickle my fancy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think that would be appropriate in the current moral climate?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely, per Cole Porter, "Anything Goes"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Oh, Mr. Porter, what shall I do?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would anyone care for a pint of porter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would a pint of port be available instead?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wouldn't more than a pint be needed for a ship to come in?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can't they use any size port in a storm?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we talking storm or tantrum here?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or would it be a hissy fit?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are Slytherins more prone to hissy fits than members of other houses?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why don't you ask a mail owl?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't Hedwig a female owl?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Pigwidgeon a male owl?
(Shipmate Pigwidgeon is not male.)
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Isn't the collective form a "parliament of owls"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is there female suffrage in the Owl world?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are owls too smart to get involved with politics?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't they stay awake in all night sessions?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
But are they really awake?
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
:
Wouldn't know a wake when we saw one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If you saw several would it be any different?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would it make a difference if you were in the boat making the wake?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How big is the boat?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Big enough to hold Gilligan et al for a supposed three-hour tour?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was Al always part of the group?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was that Al Fresco?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does he paint on wet plaster?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Did you get plastered over Christmas?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wouldn't it be more in keeping with the season to get bladdered?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that cure my UTI?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Does alcohol cure anything?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can't it be used for disinfecting and sterilising stuff?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Isn't that a waste of good alcohol?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Has "Waste not, want not" been replaced by the new 3Rs?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would those be Reduce, Re-use, and Recycle?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
If I re-used my bike to re-cycle, would I reduce my weight?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
How long have you been waiting to do that?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is the deed worth the wait?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, if it's the deed to a house?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is it a house in name only, or in deed?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is the Scottish parrot deed & gorn?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Wasn't it a Norwegian Blue?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it nailed to the perch?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Surely you checked it was alive when you bought it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would I believe a pushy salesman?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
How many parrots could a parrot-pusher push if a parrot-pusher could push parrots?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Parrots or carrots?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do parrots eat carrots?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
If they do, doe the carrots improve their eyesight?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
As a child, did you ever play I spy with my little eye?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
If you spy a carrot while playing I Spy with My Little Eye, is that "meta"?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't it something beginning with 'c'?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
Could it be "cataract"?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't a cataract a waterfall?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you have a water feature in your garden?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
If your garden features carrots, does that count?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you count carats when buying diamonds?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Kits, carats, sacks, and wives, how many are going to St. Ives?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you be specific as to which St Ives you mean?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
With that kit, do you intend to set up a work of art in the Tate at St Ives?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What will Mr Lyle say?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Didn't he make stockings?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would they be Christmas stockings, or the kind held up by suspenders?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Should I be worried about the turn this thread has taken?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would that be lisle thread?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would you use it to thread eyebrows?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
If so, can we click on it?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
If you hear tapping heels, rather than Dorothy clicking her heels together 3 times, might you have fallen into the Nancy Drew mystery, "The Clue of the Tapping Heels" (Wikia)?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why? Do you think it should be?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
WW, are you aware that you asked two questions there?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we limited to just one question each?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't we all have many questions we want answered?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are some of them without answers?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Would that make them rhetorical?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is not 42 The One True Answer to Life, The Universe, And Everything?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
But surely the answer to everything is contained in God's Holy bible?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think Slarty Bartfast might have something to say about that?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Who is Slarty, and why should I care?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you know that Slarty Bartfast and Dr Prunesquallor are two of the possible alternative names I thought of for here on the Ship?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would they be pseudonyms or nom-de-plumes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Shouldn't that be noms-de-plume?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Why are you so pedantic?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Thank you for noticing - can I say I had a good teacher?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What would prevent you from saying so?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is an ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is a pound of cure enough to cure a soul?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is curing a soul like curing bacon?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that depend on whether or not you want it smoked?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Does one obtain a smoking soul as a result of some kind of deal with Satan?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely it's just a soul that loves the smell of a good pipe--rather like the cranky priest on "Bless Me, Father" caught smoking in the sanctuary, who said "I'm not smoking while I'm praying, I'm praying while I'm smoking"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it matter what the herb is that is being smoked?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't you think Herb might object to being smoked?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't I remember Herbie as being a car?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Don't you just love the cars of the 50s?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Wasn't Herbie a 1968 Beetle?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If you remember 1968 were you really there?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Weren't the Beatles around in 1968?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Didn't you see the Ed Sullivan Show in 1963 when they were introduced to the Excited States?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did they shake hands when introduced?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Didn't you see the entire audience shake (and scream)?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Did they also rattle and roll?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is somebody going to refer to Rick Astley soon?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
You just did, didn't you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you glad I did that?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does gladness extend to doing, or is it confined to being?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
Did you know where I live there is a new suburb being given the surname of Our Glad (singer Gladys Moncrieff)? Wouldn't you like to live on Bon Scott Street?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that anywhere near Dead End Street?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a cul-de-sac?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
What do the French call a cul-de-sac?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Are you not familiar with French letters?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Like the "C" with the squiggly tail, and the behatted "O"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Shall we make a list of funny foreign letters, like the Danish O with a diagonal line through it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that require a knowledge of the appropriate keystrokes?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't different folks have different strokes?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Aren't they all vascular in nature?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting that all things in nature are vascular?
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
:
If you put a metal desk/building/ugly part of civilization out in the woods will it be part of nature?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If the metal desk/building/ugly part of civilization explodes out in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why would a metal desk explode in the woods?
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
:
If the motive was to get people's attention, and if no one heard the explosion, wouldn't this action be considered a failure?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Once it had rusty away, it would be a part of nature - success?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Would the desk make good compost?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is metal biodegradable?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Would you throw Iron Maiden in with your lawn clippings?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would she notice if you did?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If you did what?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you new here?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did you read the previous posts?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Aren't you an old hand at this?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Who are you calling old?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wasn't that rather a designation?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Might Design Nation be a good name for an art school?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you think they could design an entire nation?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Wouldn't a new nation be better than the one you have?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shall we wait and see what happens next November?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Will there be a new Minister for Magic?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might his name be Magic Ian?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was Fleming magic?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you think the discovery of penicillin was magic, science or luck?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Perhaps it was three in one?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is penicillin the Holy Trinity?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
So the hymn is now "...Moldyyyyy Trinityyyyy"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Sung by a mouldiwarp?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you enjoy making me look up words you use?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you come across schadenfreude before?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did you have to look up the spelling of that?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Haven't you come across the combination of Google autofill with cut & paste before?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Did you used to watch Blue Peter*?
*A children's TV programme in which all kinds of cutting and pasting crafts took place, often using the middles of toilet rolls.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is watching Blue Peter better than having a blue peter?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What would make a peter blue?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would very cold weather make a peter blue?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Why is "blue peter" the name of the flag that is my avatar?
[ 16. January 2016, 00:22: Message edited by: no prophet's flag is set so... ]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is it because it's cold in Canada?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is Canada a conflation of "can nada," meaning unable to stick to one language?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely, it's a conflation of the English "can" (able to do), and the Spanish "nada" (nothing)?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it not a request for Ada's assistance?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Ada Lovelace, early computer programmer and Lord Byron's daughter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did Lord Byron have a PC?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Prius Cars weren't available then, were they?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But Privy Councillors were, weren't they?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are Privy Councillors politically correct?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
More importantly, do they actually offer council in the Privy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Given the talk of most politicians wouldn't that be appropriate?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is there any politician in particular that you have in mind?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is there one who regularly trumps the others?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you familiar with card games where trumping is allowed?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are those like séances where thumping is allowed?
[ 19. January 2016, 21:44: Message edited by: Pigwidgeon ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are participants allowed to complain aloud?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you normally complain silently?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you complain in writing?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you have a complaint?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will you be compliant with my complaint?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Excuse me, is this the complaint room, or the argument room?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't I already tell you?
Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on
:
Should I tell you that it's time for Mornington Circle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that like Mornington Crescent but multiplied?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Does that idea scare you as much as it scares me?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are there actual rules for Mornington Crescent or do people make it up as they go along?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Can't you tell?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would I willingly be a part of something so random?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Is that something I would be able to answer for you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you circumventing answering the question?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is there a law against that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we hidebound by legislation?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are we bound with hides?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Would you like to be bound with hides?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't there a private board for those who like to be bound with hides?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Would that be the hideboundboard?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is that like a bundling board?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you still use a bundling board?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that like a washboard, used by some as a musical instrument?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How musical is it?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Doesn't that depend upon one's ear for music?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What do you use your other ear for?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
As one of mine is pretty much deaf can I use that one?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Who else would want to use it?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Would Mark Anthony have wanted you to lend him a deaf one?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
When he had finished, did he return the ears he borrowed?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How many was that?
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
:
Who's counting?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it the King in his counting house?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
No, surely Elvis is pumping gas at a convenience store near Roswell, New Mexico?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does Elvis have royal connections?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If Elvis is the King, does that mean Prince is his son?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you referring to the Boots song?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does Elvis work in a chemist's shop now?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Don't you know the guy who works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Do we have to have references to swearing? ITTWACW
[ 28. January 2016, 15:54: Message edited by: Lucia ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you unaware that appearances can be deceptive?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If so, how can someone read your question and be certain that what they think they are reading is what you intended to be read?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What did you intend for me to read into that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting that all of life is subjective?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps verbive, nounive, adjective, adverbive, pastive, presentive, futurive?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you stretching the point there at all?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If a point is 0-dimensional, how can it be stretched?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does one require a PhD in Mathematics or Physics to answer that question?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do we need to ask Alan Cresswell?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do we ask him in this universe, or another?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is he out of this world?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I qualified to answer that?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What are your qualifications?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might that not be a rather personal question?
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
:
Is this the personals section?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you want to marry me?
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
:
Is that what all those mostly undressed people are looking for?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that de rigeur before any more, erm, intimate involvement?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that related to rigor mortis?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you realise how many times I tried to draft a smart response to that before giving up and posting this bland question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can I add that I often feel the same sort of thing?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why have I been thinking that I'm the only one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think that is a really a typically human reaction?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't we share it with cats?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do mean in the same way we share our dinner with them (especially when we're having trout)?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you anything against trout?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How do you feel about other Quintets?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting that some of the more obscure composers are under-rated?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you think the reason that they're obscure might be related to their low rating?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But could it be that some others are over-rated?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely PDQ Bach (and his acolyte, Peter Schickele) aren't over-rated?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could it have been deliberate that I specified no names?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does anybody here rate unnamed composers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't Anon. write some good stuff a few centuries ago?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Can we be sure it was Anon. and not some other nameless person?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you have someone else in mind?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do people normally have many other people in their mind?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What is a mind?
Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on
:
Would I need gin before attempting to answer that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't some Shipmates always need GIN?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you include those who sound like they have already had too much?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Don't they count for about 2/3rds of the talk on the ship?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting that most/some Shipmates are a crowd of GIN-sodden dypsos who soak their toast in Tanqueray and pour Bombay Sapphire on their cereal?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you suggesting that we're not?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think it is a desirable way to be?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Have you seen reality recently?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why, where have you hidden it?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is it under the bed, where in reality there is a lot of fluff?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you casting aspersions on my housekeeping standards?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you need an aspergillum to cast aspersions?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will you please try to avoid splashing Holy Water on my new hairstyle?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is that like Reese's "You put peanut butter in my chocolate!"; "No, you put chocolate in my peanut butter!" ads?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How can anyone adulterate anything with that noxious substance?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is it the peanut butter that offends, or the chocolate?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How many people have you heard of having a life-threatening reaction to the tasty marvel that is chocolate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do severe migraines lasting several days count as life threatening?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
The dilemma is a real headache, isn't it?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Do you need an aspirin?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
An aspirin willow would look beautiful in the Ship's greenhouse, don't you think?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why is the Ship's house green?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would you rather it were red?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
I sometimes see red, don't you?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you see the Red Sea?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did it part for you, too?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is there some magic word you have to say for it to do that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't you just use a staff?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
You have to send the entire staff out with brooms?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Don't you like chocolate, then?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you know that chocolate is highly addictive?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might it be lowly addictive?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is chocolate the new "candle" in terms of high and low?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who will be in Scotland first?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Donald Trump?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that require a polite answer that won't upset the Hosts?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Does he ever deserve a polite answer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't we all?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you not think that exceptions can be made?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If we accept your proposal how rigorous would you make the criteria?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do I hear wedding bells?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can I be a bridesmaid?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you want to be the bride?
[ 12. February 2016, 01:53: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why would I want to get married?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you not see it as your destiny and pre-ordained?
[Takes shelter behind riot barriers!]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might one be pre-ordained to be lay?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might one prefer to be pre-ordained to be laid?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you think I am a chicken?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did you come first or did the egg?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Boiled, fried, poached, scrambled or what?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How about sunny-side-up?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't we enjoined to always look on the bright side of life?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that a phrase in common parlance, like 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you not recognise a quote from Monty Python's Life of Brian?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Welease Woderwick also from that same great, classic film?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If so, how does he compare to others in Wome?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you asking how high he wanks?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was he related to Biggus Dickus?
Posted by Halo (# 6933) on
:
Which one of you is Brian?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How can I be if I play another rather more famous character in the movie even if I don't make an appearance?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Who on earth are you talking about?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you have any idea how many people have asked me that over my lifetime?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What about Wudolph the Wed-nosed Weindeer?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or the wandy wabbit who wan thwough the fwesh gwass
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was that a question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does a question always have an answer?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or even two or three or more, depending on interpretation?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
So are you saying they are not like a Sudoku?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Now that might be going too far!
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you not understand the rules of Rosencrantz?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting that EVERY post has to be in the form of a question?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
That is the nature of the beast, isn't it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is the beast bestial?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Shouldn't we keep bestiality out of this?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
I do hope so, sorry, are senior moments allowed?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What are senior moments again?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What was your question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I have to keep repeating myself?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you please say that again?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you sometimes forget that others have Attention Deficit Disorder?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
To say nothing of, um, er, what?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you remember what were talking about?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Life, the Universe, and Everything?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't everything rather a tall order?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What do you have against short people?
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
Do you have something?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it always time for a little something?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is there a twinkle in your eye when you say that to all the pretty boys?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you going to Bernie Sanders events to meet pretty boys?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
You think there aren't enough in India?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What, in India rubber?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't they bounce a bit?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Yes, but wouldn't that be fun?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
For us or for them?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Well, what would happen if we suddenly all bounced into the middle of next week?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be this week, or must it always be next week?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Ah, before I answer that, are you a philosopher or a timekeeper?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How can you keep time since it doesn't stand still?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should I buy a metronome?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you do that regularly?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
By regularly, do you mean you can keep time?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you keep it in a cupboard?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can you keep it in a can?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or in a watchtower on a high cliff?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we allowed to talk about The Watchtower here?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Why ever not, what's the problem?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't that your problem, not mine?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should we start a problem page?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
A sort of support group for troubled pages?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
But would it be discreet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't discretion reckoned to be the better part of valour?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or is discretion only cowardice by another name?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does the yellow streak down my spine give any indication in that direction?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
If it was going up instead, might it mean transformation in to a sunflower?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting I might become oleaginous?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely, you may become as margarine-like as you like, as long as you don't try to fool Mother Nature?
(YouTube)
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that proof that margarine is, in fact, the Work of the Devil?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is it an ingredient in Devil's Food Cake?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it the margarine that makes it truly demonic?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is not butter the only true way to heavenly baking?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Have you tried the blessed if not yet canonised sour milk spice cake ?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you 100% absolutely certain sure I should?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Given that I don't know if you have a lactose allergy. would you accept 95% practically certain?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you also allowing for a margin of error in your 95%?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Shouldn't that be a margarine of error?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you make errors with your margarine?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't margarine an error in and of itself?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
But isn't this prejudicial view of margarine a sin of gigantic proportions?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Taken in excess, isn't margarine mortal?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, like Twinkies (which can be left out for years with out any decay), margarine is immortal?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Margarine might well be immortal, but what the heck are Twinkies?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What is the mortality rate of margarine versus twinkies?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't it a certainty that both will expire, whether ultimately eaten or thrown away?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't it a certainty that all of us will expire?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or might they be preserved for posterity in aspic?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Cleopatra's aspic?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is aspic reserved only for Queens?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you have ass pics of the queen?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did Cleopatra take selfies?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did she have sufficiently elastic arms to selfie her ass?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Perhaps her selfie was with asps?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Might she have used a selfie stick?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't that rather a ticklish question?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Ticklish is a funny word, isn't it?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or does it mean it's a more nuanced and difficult question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are difficult questions always nuanced?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are simple questions always easy?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are easy questions asked by simple people, or vice versa?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you referring to the word easy in the sense it has sometimes been used about the concept of virtue?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that what you thought when I said I reckoned I was an easy chap to get along with?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does easy-peasy apply to people?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or only to those who enjoy shelling peas?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you sell those shells on the seashore?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are shell suits de rigeur* when engaging in that trade?
*compulsory
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it necessary to be engaged when engaging in that trade?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or can you still do it if you consciously uncouple?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you talking about coitus interruptus?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you talking about splashing out?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do you need a towel for that?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you like a rough towel, or a soft one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it true that there is nothing like a bit of rough?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't you need to take the rough with the smooth?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you fond of collies?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Depends, do you mean wobbles or dogs?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What is a wobble?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have you never moved a dish of jelly?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does doing so give you the collywobbles?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What has cauliflower got to do with it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do collies like flowers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that be only if they are called Ferdinand?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Who's Ferdinand?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Wasn't he a picture-book bull that wore a flower?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wasn't that Ermintrude, the cow from Magic Roundabout?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't the Magic Roundabout in Cardiff?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Sure you're not getting Cardiff confused with Hemel Hempstead?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
I don't think there could be more than one monstrosity like that, could there?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
How long have you got?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't that a personal question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
In the end, aren't most questions personal?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
And most persons questionable?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who am I to refute what you said?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why, can't you remember your own name?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should I be able to?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you Caan?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or is he, oh, what's he called?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you forget names as well?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or is it when you get to a certain age?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
To which certain age do you refer?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What, do you wish me to blush?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is there an age at which one is too old to blush?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Surely don't those who don't blush know no shame?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or couldn't you just blush for pleasure?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you find it pleasurable to blush?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or is it just plain embarrassing?
[ 08. March 2016, 20:39: Message edited by: Doone ]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might one blush if one was embarrassed about being plain?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could you then take some Baking Powder and become self-raising?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might that make one explosive?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is drinking red wine with it obligatory?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't drinking wine always obligatory?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is being obliging always obligatory, especially when drunk?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you obliging when drunk?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does the good life mean wine, men/women and song, or clean living?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are those the only choices?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What choices would you prefer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could we have something more nuanced?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely it would be easier if everything was black and white?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't you like bright colors?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are shades of grey not appropriate?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are there fifty of them?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that the required number?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why stop at the half hundred?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Ah, are you being greedy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you define greed so we are certain of our terms?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Greed = a color palette that runs from GReen to REd to EDamame?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you talking about traffic lights?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you trafficking in talkies?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are they on food packaging to help prevent unhealthy eating?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't it healthier to remove packaging before eating?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on the nutritional value of both food and packaging?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does the packaging taste better than the food?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is there a better taste than bacon packaged in a burger bun?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How would stripey cheese on toast, when it has strips of Stilton, Mature White Cheddar and Red Leicester, compare - and possibly a spoon of Branston Pickle on the side?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you trying to make me feel very queasy?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
When you feel queasy, do you try to hide it with a cheesy grin?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that like a Cheshire Cat grin?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What on earth does a Cheshire Cat have to grin about?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you think he grins about Cheshire cheese?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't Stilton just as crumbly but rather more tasty?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Where is the bacon in this discussion?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you not know that I'm a vegetarian?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
So maybe try vegetarian bacon?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
The only one I've ever tried is Ulster Fry - are there any others?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Doesn't Ulster do real pig?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are they vegetarian pigs?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are pigs vegetarian, I thought they would eat anything?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that part of the problem?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Or is it perhaps the solution?
[ 14. March 2016, 14:29: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will it be a super-saturated solution?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or a saline solution?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Seriously, do I look like an old salt?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
To what do attribute the salt on your tongue, or should that be pen?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely pens are not for use on the tongue?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that true in all cultures?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you grow cultures in a petri dish?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely it's better to grow them on old bits of cheese, jam, bread and the like?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is there a complete world of difference between liking and likeness?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or a difference between likeness and Loch Ness?
{Waves to Nessie!}
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does Loch Ness have a Giant Squid?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does it have to be giant to be important?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Isn't size always important?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who are you to talk?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you have a problem with the size of your hands -- or anything else?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you suggesting I might be less than averagely endowed?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did your endowment come up to scratch?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What on earth caused it to itch so much?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could it be an allergic reaction?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or an over abundant use of talcum powder?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't baby powder supposed to be hypo-allergenic?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Haven't there been scares about toxins in baby powder?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't everything toxic?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
As in "Tox? Ick!!!"?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or, possibly, just yucky?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
As a term is yucky general or specific?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you not more interested that the earliest use of yucky only dates back to 1970?
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
Presumably there wasn't anything hideous enough to deserve the word yucky before that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you saying that my mother can't have used the word when I was born?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If I can prove I used it before 1970 can I copyright it?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely you can't be that old?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you sure the word isn't an adjective derived from the Yukon?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is The Yukon fully deserving of the word?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Can the Word be deserved, or is it a free gift?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you always on the lookout for a freebie?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Shouldn't you be on the lookout for a frisbee, especially if thrown at your head?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was that a frisbee or a fruit fly?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does fruit fly?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Only if someone throws it--say, you're not planning to...?
{ducks}
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Which fruit would fly me to the moon?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Moon & Stars melon?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do fruity sweets have the same effect?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Talking of which, do you remember sweetie flying saucers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Were they the ones filled with sherbert?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is the Pope Catholic?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Didn't he convert to Pastafarianism?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't he a bit lacking in the locks department to do that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does that mean they'll lock him out?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How many centuries since a pope was last locked out of the Vatican?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
But doesn't he hold the keys?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't he inherit them from Saint Peter?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But weren't they the keys of the kingdom of heaven, rather than those of the Vatican, and is anyone likely to confuse the two?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Mightn't any set of keys go down the drain, if dropped?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't I mention that in the "That scares the @#$!% out of me.... " thread in Heaven?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Ah, but is not that a circular argument?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does a drain have to be circular or can it be rectangular?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you not seen the non-rectangular quadrilateral drain covers, such as trapezoid ones?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Do they "know many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If they're square and we are so hep, are we interested?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would a square dance count?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
If it's fair and square, surely?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But what if it's rainy and round?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might it form a puddle, to splash around in?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
That would be fun, but would it spoil its symmetry?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would it be fun in a cemetery?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might that not be disrespectful of the dead?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would it raise them up?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would raising them up involve any alcohol?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wouldn't alcohol be more apt to lay them out cold?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is laying out a chillier activity than lying in?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wasn't lying in, historically, something to do with childbirth?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do we need advice from a midwife?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
If we Call the Midwife, can it be one of the pretty ones?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
And if there are none, could we have a nun?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are nuns skilled in such practices?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or should they practice more with anatomically correct pregnant dolls?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would the rectitude of the dolls outstrip that of the nuns?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If they were from an order of left handed nuns would they be The Sinister Sisters?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If they were from an order of right handed nuns would they be The Dexter Sisters?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would they all be dextrous?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or dextrosely sweet?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or ambidextrously sour?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would they still qualify as nuns?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would none of them qualify?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What qualifications do they need?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't it depend on whether they're kneading dough?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Couldn't they just make unleavened bread?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
What, they won't allow the dough to leave??
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't there government regulations that cover that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would those regulations hold the dough in a pending bowl?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you taking a rise out of me?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would you up for leavening the whole loaf?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is half a loaf better than none?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you calling me half baked?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it still possible to buy half baked dinner rolls in Sainsbury?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do half baked rolls last for eternity?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
If so, would they be any good as space food?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't the crumbs be a bit of a nuisance?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wouldn't the crumbs just float away?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would they amalgamate into the Great Crumbly in the Sky?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Could they not be channelled in Lazarus's direction?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is Lazarus an astronaut?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is he simply flying high?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What has he been taking this time?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you want some of what he's having?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does he have a long felt want?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be like a long felt wand?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't felt make for a rather floppy wand?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't there a pill for that?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you mean those blue ones you were trying to flog me the other day?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is flogging no longer a spectator sport?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wouldn't that depend on who enjoyed it most - the spectator, the flogger or the flogged?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What is the best way of determining who enjoyed it most?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would the determined endurance of the various parties be a clue?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should we look beyond clues searching for a proof?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do I detect that you don't have a clue?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Would you like to buy a very reasonably priced one from me?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did it fall off the back of a lorry?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it past its sell by date?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that make it an out-of-date date?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did your out-of-date date fall from a date palm tree?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did it fall or was it pushed?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you used that excuse before?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does he need to excuse himself?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
To whom?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will a general apology be considered enough?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Has a General done something to apologize for?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Haven't they all?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Didn't Sassoon suggest Generals and Majors had a lot to apologise for?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't he rather more than suggest it?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Was this Vidal Sassoon, commenting upon hair styles?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did different hairstyles for soldiery exist at the time?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Weren't the differences in hairstyles based on the position of their partings?
(Sassoon had a side parting as did Ivor Gurney, Wilfrid Owen a centre parting, Rupert Brooke's was half way between from the photos from the time.)
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is parting such sweet sorrow?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that attract the sugar tax?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was it bitter to pay it?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What is the difference between bitter, sour and tart?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't a tart a young woman of loose morals -- while bitters and sours have to do with cocktails?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Which of those best describes a Long Sloe Comfortable Fuzzy Screw Against the Wall With Satin Pillows the Hard Way?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Wouldn't most people be rendered into tartiness with the application of that cocktail?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you doubting our ability to hold our drink?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Did you read those ingredients?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why are they diluting it with so much orange juice?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can we add some Green Chartreuse to give it some bite?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would some false teeth have the same effect?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What about real teeth?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do they have to be unfilled and uncapped?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Should there be a cap on the quantities involved?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are these the sort of quantities that ought to be surveyed?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Should the quantity surveyors be qualified?
[ 05. April 2016, 16:32: Message edited by: Doone ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are bald, overweight ones better than slim ones with a full head of hair?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Doesn't that apply to people generally? Or does the fact that I am bald and overweight skew my perspective?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't all Shipmates eternally objective?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Where did you get that idea from?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Which would you rather be, objectified or personified?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are those my only options?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or deified, sanctified?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't that happen to me ages ago?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you not confusing deification with mummification?
[ 06. April 2016, 10:20: Message edited by: Sipech ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I come across as demented?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Do you really want me to answer that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is bedlam the default state here?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it not the default state for most of the world, but just that most people are too absorbed to notice it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Sorry, what was that you said?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Were you day-dreaming again?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you casting aspersions by any chance?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Should one use an aspergillum to cast aspersions?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wouldn't gillyweed be more appropriate to water sprinkling activities?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely a gigantic watering can would be more sensible?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you need a crane to lift it high enough?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't Saurus cranes basically scavengers?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shall we have a scavenger hunt?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Would a word based scavenger hunt work on the Ship?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Can words float, should they fall overboard?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Don't words like 'buoyancy' and 'balloons' float in your imagination?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Doesn't "boy-oh-boy" indicate a lifting of the spirits?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that be dependent on tone?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Don't you need to consider pitch as well?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Surely that is something the captains consider before the toss at any Cricket Match, isn't it?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do they really toss the caber to start cricket matches?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why, what do you normally toss to start a match?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't there easier ways to light a match rather than tossing them?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Well, can you name three?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is three an appropriate choice?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Aren't you thinking of threesomes now?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do people still play Three-Handed Bridge?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't that a very alien concept?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
When did I last watch ET?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did ET have three hands?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't that the height of a miniature horse?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you being equi-sizist here?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that necessarily a bad thing?
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
Are bad things necessary?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Are we back to discussing the Fall?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you suggesting it wasn't a deliberate attempt at parkour?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What has our park got to do with it?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Hang on a minute, what do you mean by your park?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Whose park do you think it is?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are the Royal Parks different?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you think we Americans know anything about Royal Parks?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you not have equivalent large green spaces in your cities?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Like San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, complete with bison?
[ 11. April 2016, 04:49: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
How do you tell the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't bison akin to the Indian Gaur?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have they both been hunted with spears?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do Asparagus Spears make effective weapons?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are they the weapons that cause an attack of the green wee?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why are aliens often portrayed as being green?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are we?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
When did you last look in a mirror?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you think I'm the sort of chap that has a reflection?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you [mistakenly] think I addressed that last comment to you?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Who are you trying to kid, eh?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would an old sweetie like me ever try to deceive anyone?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be an old sweetie like a humbug, or like a pear drop covered in fluff?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Did your grandmother not try to force feed you midget gems?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
When have I needed to be forced to eat?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Last Tuesday?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
By that, do you actually mean since the beginning of time?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But surely you know that we of the ship are timeless?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that why I am always late?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is late better than never?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on circumstances?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are there particular circumstances that you are thinking of?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Didn't you promise never to allude to that incident involving the nun, the frog and the butter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Now you've mentioned it, shall I tell everybody about it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why have you kept it secret for so long?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do we really want to know?
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
Would it expose The Ship to the danger of libel action?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't Naval Action be more difficult?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you aiming to scupper the Ship?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are the enemy standing by to board?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would waterboarding be an appropriate naval activity?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What about people like us who use a well and nothing from the water board?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you on the Wellman board of trustees?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
I trust 'e is a well man, not an ill man?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
If the angels said Nowell, does that make him an Imam?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would I have to grow a beard?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do you have the necessary hirsuteness?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is hirsuteness really necessary?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it hormonally unavoidable?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't it age dependent?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't hissuitness normally required in conventional offices?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you discriminating against her-suit-ness, or Ma'am, as we normally call her?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is being discriminatory always a bad thing?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would discriminalabour solve the problem?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can we define the problem more precisely?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Which problem would you like to be defined?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Where would you like to start?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does "defining" mean removing a fine?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that mean you can't do it in fine weather?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it more hygienic in wet weather?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't there be more chance of mildew then?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What will the mill do?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Won't that depend on the miller?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How do you know your favourite miller isn't actually a Trump supporter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you trying to frighten me?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could anything be more frightening?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How are you on Extreme Roller Coasters?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are they the ones for putting under mugs or glasses?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How about mugs wearing glasses?
[ 19. April 2016, 02:24: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are they the ones rooting for glasnost?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do men seldom make passes at mugs who wear glasses?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't mugs made of glass usually hold beer?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Aren't mugs more usually made of china?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that culturally dependent?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
When did you start reading The Guardian?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it The Manchester Guardian in those days?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is your name Rip Van Winkle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
In my case wouldn't it more likely be W[h]ip Wan Winkle?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wouldn't that depend on whether you're into S&M?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it matter if I'm S or M?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't R 'n' B be more suitable?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or even better, BR--Baskin-Robbins ice cream?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Isn't Baskin' Robbins the name of a hand you can be dealt in poker?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do hands have names?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Should they be on clocks so we can tell the time?
[ 20. April 2016, 21:39: Message edited by: Doone ]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
When the bell rings for someone to tell us the 'Time!' we only need hands for raising our glasses, don't we?
[ 20. April 2016, 23:06: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Aren't you forgetting the other essential uses to which hands can be put?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you talking about washing dishes?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did you follow the link?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can't you tell?
[It was a bit of a shock to my system!]
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
I remember it well, does that make me old?!
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Would you have a problem with being old?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How different is being old from being middle aged?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
How long have you got?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I need a tape measure for this?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that how time is measured now?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you measure thyme by the gram?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't that rather be by the bunch or spoonful?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is the spoonful lovin'?
Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on
:
Is it Summer in the City?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it missing the rural parts this year?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't it Summertime yet?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't summer begin at the summer solstice?
Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on
:
Does one get solace in the summer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is learning to tie shoelaces still a requirement for kids?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't children's shoes fasten with Velcro?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't it better if they just slip on?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
It is better if they slip on what?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did you ever wreck your shoes sliding on ice?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it an occupational hazard for some people?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you, by any chance, referring to ice skaters?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are there not others equally at risk?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does shoe quality feature in the risk assessment?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How easily is that quantifiable?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps that could be measured by the company "Quantum of Soles, Us"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't they also sell Sandal Paste?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that like a concentrated form of sandalwood oil?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it something that Hindus use to smear on forehead and throat?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Isn't this a Christian Website?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Doesn't that depend on how broad your definition of "Christian" is?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you know that in all my years I have never been to the Norfolk Broads?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
When, eventually, you do, can you let me know how much they cost?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How much are you willing to pay?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely they are priceless?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that mean they are free?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did you go into freefall when you heard the price?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is freefalling cheaper if you don't fork out for a parachute?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it a once in a lifetime offer?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you want to do it more than once?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
It depends, surely, on how good the first time was?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How good was it for you the first time?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can I remember that far back?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't that memory erased by those of subsequent episodes?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does anyone really forget the first time?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
When was that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If you don't remember, how would I know?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you holding me responsible for your amnesia?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
How do you expect me to remember who is responsible?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is this what is termed a circular argument?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Isn't a circular argument just an elliptic argument without any eccentricity?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Tricity used to manufacture fridges.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that a question?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What have fridges got to do with the price of fish?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you want to try leaving some salmon out of a fridge for a week before answering that one?
[tangent] Do you think WW got muddled up between this and the Everlasting thread; hence why he didn't post a question? [/tangent]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you know that's the second time I've done that recently?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you post questions on the Everlasting thread?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Perhaps his mind has been on higher things?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is there anything higher than salmon that's been out of the fridge for a week?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
How about salmon that's been out of the fridge for two weeks?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that a euphemism for something?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have you been messing with the euphonium again?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was the result euphonious?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
More or less than bagpipes?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Will blowing into a bagpipe calm a panic attack?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or the didjeridoo?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why would you want to calm a didjeridoo?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What did Jeri do which requires calming?
[ 29. April 2016, 09:23: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did you not witness it?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why do people always say that?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Have you witnessed them saying that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have you tried witnessing in the city centre at night, bible in hand?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Did I witness you stealing the bible you have in your hand?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What's that in your other hand?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is this a dagger I see before me?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Alternatively, could it be that your mind to you a kingdom is?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it be that kingdom that Richard III would give his horse for?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Couldn't he have just had his servants bang coconut halves together?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Have you ever had your coconut halves banged together?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would I willingly share this information so publicly?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't it time to put your coconuts on ice?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Did you know that would make me wince?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do you have the recipe for coconut ice?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If I supply the coconut can you supply the ice?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em together?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Better together than drinking alone, isn't it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did the Lone Ranger drink alone, or with Tonto?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What about Batman and Robin?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Did the Lone Ranger know Batman?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did the Lone Ranger ever go to Gotham City?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Is saying "he got ham" bad grammar?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What if you said "He ordered turkey, but he got ham"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that apply if he was a vegetarian?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would he get lettuce?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Ah, but would that satisfy his cravings?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can cravings ever be totally satisfied?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How do you differentiate between a craving and a desire?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is a craving desirable?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is being desirable to be craved?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
As desirable as I am isn't that a difficult question for me to answer?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you desire to answer the question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't I desire everything?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you trying to avoid answering the question?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Did you threaten to overrule him?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you find tiny owls threatening?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Aren't they rather sweet?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would sweets work better than threats?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on the personalities involved?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you saying you have a sweet personality?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that obvious?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Isn't obviousness in the eye of the beholder?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Might that eye be being hindered by some kind of plank?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you talking of Max Planck?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Is Max a host who plancks shippies?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or would he perchance use a paddle?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does he paddle his own canoe?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a canoe or a kayak?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would he paddle sitting or kneeling?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
if you are being paddled would you not normally be bending forward?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
But would that be with a slipper or a cane?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't a carpet beater used in one of the James Bond books?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did the James Bond book involve bondage?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you sure you were reading one of the original Ian Fleming novels?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't one book feature death by flesh-eating crabs?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you expect me to remember details after half a century?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you going on about cricket again?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't Cricket the main topic of conversation in The Saintly Realm?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you having me on?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you think that's a rather strange expression?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Are you expressing something strange?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Did Steve Strange have many expressions?
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
How many expressions can one person own?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't Dr.Strangelove have only one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't one Doomsday Device enough?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Can you ever have enough Doomsday devices?
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
Does a Doomsday Device ever suffer a catastrophic failure?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would we know it if it did?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do cats communicate in strophes?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Don't cats communicate in disdain?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should the preposition there be "in" or "with"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Generally speaking, should one not communicate with reverence?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Don't you find communicating with Reverends to be quite tricky?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you think that clergy tend to be tricky?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't they have to be to survive Church politics?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are their names Dicky?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do they have Van Dyke beards?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What, even the ladies?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have you never met a bearded lady?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Have you ever seen Old Man's Beard?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Which old man does it belong to?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
How many old men do you know?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I not one of them myself?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't you only as old as you feel?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Especially if you're "kickin' it down the cobblestones, and feelin' groovy"?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who on earth still uses the word "groovy"?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely such usages are timeless?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean there never was a time?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who else thinks we should consult Stephen Hawking and Roger Penrose on this matter?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it matter?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could it be a black hole?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Why not a pink one?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Perhaps a lughole?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you know a lot of big lugs?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why does one never hear about little lugs?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Because they're busy with their luge team?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Before riding a luge does one need a psychiatric evaluation?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If one gets off of his luge, is he deluged?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Enlighten me - what is a luge?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is Google your friend?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't you know that if you type in "luge" on Google, it comes up with "Luger", and who needs a gun?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why did I get different results when I checked it out?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Who can tell?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can William Tell?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Will William tell?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Will William have a will?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, but even with the best Will in the world...?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is he the best Will in the world?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does he have will power?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Why did Will leave only his second best bed to his wife?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
To whom did he leave his best bed?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was it to his best beloved?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was that the young man from the sonnets?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that a region of Glasgow?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would that have been the Scottish Sonnet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was that by Burns?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did it involve burning desire?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it flammable?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Is burning desire what happens when you mix up your heat rub and your lube?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely that occasions an embarrassing visit to the emergency room?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you suggesting you know more about this than others?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Not at all, surely it's from watching too many episodes of "E.R."?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Was the Queen involved?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wasn't the TV show named after her?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
E.R.I or E.R.II?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was there television at the time of E.R.I?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps John Dee had created a prototype?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Not Simon Dee?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What about Simon Dum?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Otherwise known as Dum Sim?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Wouldn't we all rather have dim sum?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you referring to diminishing sums of financial resources?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Should I point out that she was never E.R.I, just E.R, because there was only one of her at the time?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does that make her a diminishing E R?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did she work in an Emergency Room?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was the Emergency Room a casualty of the cuts?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Don't you normally end up in the emergency room if you are a victim of cuts?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you trying to stitch me up?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
How many WWs would be saved by a stitch in time?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Surely there were only two WWs?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Who is the other one?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about World Wars?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who decides which wars are World Wars?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
We've had two - do we need a third as a tie-breaker?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will it be environmentally friendly?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are wars ever environmentally friendly?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can we not live in hope?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you want to live in Arkansas?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or would it be the triumph of hope over experience?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that the definition of a second marriage?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Couldn't it also apply to first marriages, jobs, driving routes and parenthood?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think there may be even more qualifying categories?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are the categories evenly matched?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would it be odd if that were not so?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Are you trying to sew us into knots again?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do we measure the Ship's speed in knots?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
As we spend so much time going round in circles do we measure rotational speed?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Maybe we should reach out over the edge of the blender and turn it off, so we no longer go in circles?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think that would resolve the issue?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
After several posts rotating in a blender,how much would be tissue?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is tissue-typing now de rigeur on the Ship?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is it right to make an issue of any type of typing on a web-based medium?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be a variety of arachnid who was in touch with the departed?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do spiders hold séances?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that like holding a catch at cricket?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is a cricket similar to a grasshopper, or am I thinking of something else?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't a grasshopper made with Crème de menthe and Crème de cacao?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How often do you see someone drinking crème de menthe these days?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
How often do you try?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does one have to understand the rules of Rugby first?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or how to braid a rug by hand?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean rug in the US or British or Turkish or Persian sense?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can't "rug" also mean "toupee"?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
To which presidential candidate are you alluding?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
So "cutting a rug" means a trip to the barber?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't he write a famous Adagio?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or was that Amadeus?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean Amontillado?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does that come in casks?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it rather Falstaff's Butt of Sack?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did he play the sackbut?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't he more of a dulcimer kind of guy?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that the kind of guy you prefer?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does he go for Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori*?
* It is sweet and appropriate to die for one's country.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean the Wilfred Owen version?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
DO you mean his was plagiarised?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are there not other possible interpretations of what I said?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Would I have asked if there were?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that have required forethought?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Isn't free-thought sufficient?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that not now banned?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Banned on the banks of the Bann?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you have a banner for that?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is that some sort of pun?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you assuming I have a working sense of humour?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Have you never noticed how unassuming I am?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
No, was the evidence sufficient for me to notice?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Have you had your eyes tested recently?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would they function sufficiently in a Test Match?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might they be better than some of the highly paid umpires?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do umpires have empires?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do umpires have eyes?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Isn't there one right in the centre of the word?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Isn't the centre of word an empty space?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is that philosophy or pedantry?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would Phil or Sophie know the answer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are any answers really knowable?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would a reality check help?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Mightn't it bounce?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you suffer from Tigger-phobia?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely from bounced check and overdraft phobia?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would a trampoline help?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wouldn't a trampoline make it bounce even higher?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would the bank manager allow that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you picture a bank manager using a trampoline?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps if it's Mr. Banks, from "Mary Poppins", who relaxed enough to fly a kite, and might be ready to try a trampoline?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't rivers have lots of banks?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't the Seine have a famous Left Bank?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was it left in left luggage?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would you trust a Parisian to look after it?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
That came from darkest Peru?
(ETA: Cross-post, but I think it can work.)
[ 31. May 2016, 07:15: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we still in Paris or have we moved to London?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are we not part of a worldwide community?
Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on
:
Are we not a member of the United Federation of Planets?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What planet do you live on?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is it so important to know that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does it not depend on your makeup?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How much make-up do you wear?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Shall I make up an answer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be counted as cheating?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you cheat when you count?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Have you heard the children's dubious counting method for hide and seek*?
* One, two, miss a few, ninety-nine, a hundred
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Isn't that how the Treasury come up with their economic forecasts?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Like Christopher Robin's "Tut tut, it looks like rain"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
And what was Wol's reply?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why wasn't he, or she, hunting mice?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is there some reason that you are advocating the hunting of small and adorable rodents, Weasel?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shouldn't you and I be happy they're not advocating the hunting of small and adorable birds?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Should I be worried that they may be taking all the mice and there will be none left for me?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Would you like the spare mouse that I currently have living in my bedroom?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you allow a small owl to swoop in and get it?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you sure you wouldn't be happier at Hogwarts?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't forcing owls to deliver post in all weathers a form of slavery?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you really think William Wilberforce had indentured owls in mind when he set out on the abolitionist path?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Has anyone called Hermione?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What do you suggest we call her?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Something polite, given her mad magic skills?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is Hermiyoninny not appropriate?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Oi, who are you calling a ninny?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What's the difference between a ninny and a nincompoop?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Hasn't the second term got rather lavatorial connotations?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you want a bag for that?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you carry yours around in a bag?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Who here remembers string bags?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Are they part of the string theory for the Bag universe?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might it be a Baggins' Universe?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that the southern equivalent of the string vest theory?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is string an element in vestment production ?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is this an example of a knotty problem?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you saying it's not a problem?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
In Torch Song Trilogy didn't Ann Bancroft say that a problem is never as permanent as a solution?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Won't a solution of permanganate of potash turn things red?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't potash a fertiliser?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that depend on the other reagents present?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
How many of the four members do you want?
(I have their one single - and quite like it)
[ 04. June 2016, 16:49: Message edited by: Schroedinger's cat ]
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would you like a double twice as much?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Wouldn't you prefer a treble?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why not a bass?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
You mean the beer?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Isn't it a type of fish?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps you're thinking of the Babel fish?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't that a tower?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Could you translate what you just said for me?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Sorry, don't you understand Biblical references?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wasn't what they needed in Babel a referee of linguistic genius?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be a referee or an umpire?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wouldn't a translator app be more appropriate?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely if I put this Babel fish in your ear, it will translate for you?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
But wouldn't I look ridiculous and have loads of cats following me if I had a fish sticking out of my ear?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on the company you keep?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would it help if you kept company with dogs?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't dogs both more sensitive and more sensible than many people?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Doesn't that rather depend on the person?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't it also depend on the dog?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you dogged by these considerations??
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are there 101 dogs?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are they Dalmatians?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Weren't they born in California?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do they bark at twilight?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What threat is twilight to them?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you mean this Twilight?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is somebody being mean to one of our beloved shipmates?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't the Hosts step in and stop that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't that depend on which board they were from?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might it not depend on how bored they were?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Might it depend on whether they're boars?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Or even Boers?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Haven't wars been fought over such matters?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Do you remember such a thing?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you really think I'm as old as I feel?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Sold as if eels were crawling through its eyes, the idol was less interesting to its purchaser when he realised that they were made of plastic and operated by remote control.
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you sure you're on the right thread?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Could I use my hostly privileges to remove that embarrassing error without anyone noticing?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely it was worth it to give us a good laugh?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would we ever laugh at Smudgie-kins?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Have you ever been tickled by catkins?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are lions cat's kin?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
Which cat?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Which skin?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does the skin on the top of Ovaltine when it has cooled seem repulsive to you?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't Ovaltine disgusting with or without skin?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Would you prefer cocoa?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
And animal crackers, please?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't they be crackers not to?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do they go for cracked wheat?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do they whip-crack away?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are drug dealers now whipping their crack like whipped cream?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are whipping the cream, beating the eggs and pulverising the almonds symptomatic of other areas of behaviour?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that not over-analysing things a bit?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do you need to lie down?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can I tell the truth when I'm lying down?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Don't you need to stand up for the truth?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or would you prefer to stand up for Jesus?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it true that we may feel the difference between a friend and a lover is that for a friend we may be willing to lay down our life but for a lover we are just willing to lay down?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
On an eiderdown comforter?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wouldn't we feel more comfort if arms were laid down?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't it be better if our arms were open wide?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that why my dentist tells me to "open wide"?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Like Temba, in the Darmok story?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Can we avoid discussion of dentists please?
[Ouch. Or to put it better, O-U-C-H.]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't you think Steve Martin was amazing as the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors ?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What did you feel about the house plant?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is it wise to feel anything about a houseplant when there's a chance it might be carnivorous?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Might you not feel fear?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Which is mightier, you or the plant?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are there any plants mightier than a triffid?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't a Sequoia certainly bigger?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is a Sequoia carnivorous?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does a Sequoia take to the road?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't that an Ent?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do they inhabit the ENT department of your local hospital?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't sequoia pollen likely to cause allergies?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Aren't allergies merely trigged by pollen, and caused by other factors?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What sort of other factors?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
I thought you were a mathematician, don't you know about factors?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have you factored in those of us who are numerically challenged?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Is it possible to know how many people are numerically challenged?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How would you count them?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't numericallyrics be a good start?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be like '12345, once I caught a fish alive'?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did the Beatles sing that?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or did they sing this?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wasn't it 1234 can I have a little more that the Beatles sang: All Together Now?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can I take my friend to bed?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Isn't the answer to that question in your own sig?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Didn't Pigwidgeon specify one friend only?
(Otherwise one bottle of gin would be rather short commons.)
[ 14. June 2016, 06:57: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
But don't the others have a say in the matter?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps the giraffe is bringing (and drinking!) several bottles of GIN, and that's why it seems odd?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is excessive gin intake in the mother the reason why baby giraffes stagger about when newborn?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Isn't it concussion after falling from a great height?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Wasn't it Jung in whose dream a giant turd fell from a great height?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How high is a great height?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Doesn't it depend on where you're standing?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is your standpoint relevant?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is a traditional road sign finger thingy really a standpoint?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
And why do you never have a sit-point, or, better still, a come-and-have-a-coffee-while-we-discuss-it-point?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you know that coffee is highly addictive and is bad for you?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Aren't you familiar with Manhattan Transfer's "Java Jive", which answers your question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Weren't they just brilliant?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Does anyone else need a little sit down after that?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Could we have coffee and a biscuit with it?
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Could I have enough alcohol to forget it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
How much is enough?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't the blotto level subjective?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What is the subject of your enquiry?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you a robot taking the Turing Test?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Does that involve touring the turns in a tower in Tours?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did Alan Turing tour the turns in a tower in Tours?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Were you smiling to yourself at how clever you were as you typed that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you rather have him go about smiling at strangers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that why I get funny looks when walking down the street?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How honestly do you want an answer to that question?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't it be kinder to be more ambivalent?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it all rather culturally dependent?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Maybe even culturally *CO*-dependent?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you dependent on your C.O.?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you referring to carbon monoxide?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely too much of that is very bad for you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a euphemism for fatal?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
How fatal is a 'Femme Fatale'?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is she carrying a gun or a long knife?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you think she might have poison?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is her name Ivy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is she connected with US universities?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would she find our red brick university walls easier to climb?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that depend upon how high her heels are?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What would be the optimum height for the heels?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't heels come in all sizes and proclivities?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Would cleats be more sensible, if climbing a brick wall?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Have you looked to see if there is a door?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Where's the fun in that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you not read The Secret Garden?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that anything like The Secret River?
[ 23. June 2016, 10:50: Message edited by: Doone ]
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or "Spoon River Anthology"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is that a long spoon?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it a runcible spoon?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would it contain slices of quince?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Could we also have slices of oranges and lemons?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that for the true Cockneys?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Were you born within earshot of the sound of Bow Bells?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Have you ever seen a belle with bow legs?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
You mean one who walks like John Wayne?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why am I suddenly picturing Nathan Lane in "The Bird Cage"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you prefer that to the original French movie?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Didn't Margaret Drabble write that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did she write in French?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did she write "French letters"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or was she eating French toast at the time?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't she be better sampling the local Vin Ordinaire?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that be red or white?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about the War of the Roses?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you a Yorkist?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you a Lancastrian?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps a Lancre-ian?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that Ian very tall and thin?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that preferable to being short and fat?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What would his doctor say?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does he have a shortfall?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or could that be a pratfall?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that rather limit it to politicians only?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is there a limit to politicians' pratfalls?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't that rather a sore subject here at the moment?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are there places in this world where it isn't a sore subject?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does that say something about politics generally?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Where can we find a generalissima to lead the country?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think a military coup is quite the British way?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you rather have a national referendum than a military coup?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is either of them likely to give a better class of politician?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you really think politicians have class?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do most of them need classes in Basic Humanity?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is not theirs a shared humanity?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps a humanity time-shared with another species?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could the other species possibly be mice?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can mice share humanity?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might they not be able to empathise?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Are you talking about the politicians or the mice?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do politicians ever show empathy?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would empathy make them better politicians?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would politics make them better empaths?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can they find their way at all?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have they lost their moral compass?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can they draw a circle without one?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that a vicious circle or a virtuous one?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or perhaps a virtual one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is a virtual circle necessarily round?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that be the so-called circle of life?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or a Moebius strip of Life, the Universe, and Everything?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Or a circle in a spiral, a wheel within a wheel?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that song about at its half century now?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does it concern cricket?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't all life concern cricket?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Or does each match seem to last a life time?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't there something wonderful about being laid back?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What if you drop the word "back"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would that mean you were laid to grass?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it good stuff, man?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do you mean stuff as in stuffing a cushion?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Couldn't it be stuffing a turkey?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Wasn't that one of the premises of the Leave campaign?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Were they licensed premises?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is a license required?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you have a fish named Eric?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't Wanda a more common name?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that dependent on whether you live closer to Hampstead or Hull?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
But, surely, it's in "Hartford, Harrisford, and Hampshire", where "hurricanes hardly happen"?
(From "My Fair Lady".)
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't Hereford the middle one originally?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What has that to do with original sin?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is there such a thing as an original sin?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Did you always have a thing for me or did you fancy someone else originally?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are my affections that obvious?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
How have you been affected?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How long have you got to listen to me?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
How long is a piece of string?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it so deep as a well, or so wide as a church-door?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Shouldn't that be as thick as a church door?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you questioning Mercutio?
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
:
Will he answer if I do?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What response are you seeking?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that be like the Delphic Oracle?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did Oedipus like what the Delphic Oracle told him?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What if he didn't?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can one alter what The Fates have decreed?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps with subscriptions to Chocolate-of-the-Month Club, to appease them?
[ 10. July 2016, 02:01: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think that appeasement is the way to go?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Did not the Fates say it is already written that we will supply them with much and varied chocolate, early and often?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Ah, but are not such pronouncements by the Fates notoriously difficult to decipher in their ambiguity!
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
They don't tell it like it is then?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does anyone? Can anyone?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or, like so many liars of my acquaintance, can they tell it like it isn't?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Under those circumstances should we at least approximate to the truth?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't Pilate ask "What is truth?"
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Was that a wise or a foolish question?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was Pilate a fool for God?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why does everyone go on about Pontius Pilate; does no one remember Pontius Yoga?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was there also a Pontius Yoda?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or was it a portentous yogi?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Yogi Bear and Booboo, in Jellystone Park?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't leaving food out for the bears supposed to be bad for them?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Mightn't it be bad for someone doing it, too, if confronted?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would the bears prefer people to nuts and berries?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you assuming there that there is no overlap between the group 'people' and the group 'nuts'?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you draw a Venn diagram to show that?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would a venerable Laplander be able to help?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or the Venerable Bede?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was he also Venomous?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did he bite like a serpent and sting like an adder?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
How was he on mental arithmetic?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Did his arithmetic have rhythm?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Who could ask for anything more?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I the only one that had to Google that to find the originator of the song?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Am I the only one who has gotten an earworm from these posts?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be a Good Thing?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Does your odd capitalisation indicate something special?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you define special?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What is the speciality of the house?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Doesn't that depend on the type of house?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is it the Blue Plate Special, a species of diner food?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it an endangered species?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, if one runs out of blue plates and/or diners?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How many diners dine in a diner?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do the diners dine at the diner at dinner time?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Might they dine in a cafe?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do they pay with dineri in a pizza hut?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is cardboard and plastic cheese taxable?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are they regarded as essentials?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on who you ask?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What if I asked the chef for cheddar on toast instead?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that be Cheddar from Somerset?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or possibly a misspelt headscarf?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Would the desperate diners scarf down that cardboard and plastic pizza?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would anyone be that desperate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that depend on a myriad of variables?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or on what myriad of vegetables was used on the pizza?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would myrmidons muse on myriad veg?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is myrmidon a term that only applies to our enemies?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
If we forgive and love our enemies, are they no longer our enemies?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or would they be frienemies?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do frienemies get freebies or must they pay?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is there any such thing as a free lunch?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does anything come free in this fallen world, or are we hopelessly enslaved?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that your own original lament, or did you paraphrase it from someone else?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is there anything new in this world?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is new necessarily better?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it really taste like butter?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
On yummy pancakes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
With real Maple Syrup?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Who do you know who would use fake Maple Syrup?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't you realise that some people are cheapskates?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would cheapskates win an Olympic gold?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would Russian cheapskates be allowed to enter?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
If they're cheap skates, are they less likely to help the wearer to win, whatever the nationality?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might not a cheap skate in a fishmonger's shop be of doubtful quality?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is that a cue for the Monty Python fish-slapping dance?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why would anyone want to slap a fish?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Because it slapped them first?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Might a quotation from the sermon on the mount be appropriate at this juncture?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you suggesting that the fish was a slapper?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you give a reasonable and accurate description of a slapper?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Might it be more appropriate to call a fish a flapper?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
And would you call a dolphin a Flipper?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it greater than the sum of its parts?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would that make it a mammal of parts?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will it then sing in parts?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that ensure a harmonious sound?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might it not be better in unison?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't that depend on what it's singing?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What would be the Unison* anthem?
*The largest trade union in the UK
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do long, boring ones sound more like Unisom anthems?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Has anyone stayed awake long enough to hear the rousing finale?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would it, by any chance, end as a carouse?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or a chorus of "When you walk through a storm"? from "Carousel"?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
But since you'll never walk alone, would you be in unison?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely being in unison is better than being in bison?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you saying we're not in Kansas anymore?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you saying you want to go back there?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Are we in Oz, then, and which one?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you think it's Australia?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How do you like walking upside down?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Could Dorothy cope with a kangaroo instead of Toto?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you doubt that someone who kills witches would have difficulty in handling a marsupial?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't some marsupials reputed to be cantankerous?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Don't some of them land a mighty kick?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you get your kicks from Roos?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would Roos dare?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Would Teddy Roosevelt dare?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would a big stick protect him from getting kicked?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How big a stick would that require?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would a stick of pineapple rock do?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What is the best thing to do with a stick of pineapple rock?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Where does one stick a stick of any kind?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
In the mud?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would it then be the sticks own fault?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps answering that is a sticky wicket?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a euphemism?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is it euphonious?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do you play euphonium in a band?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't a tuba larger?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is bigger better?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is better necessarily bigger?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would that apply to a bigmouth?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Didn't The Smiths write a song about that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't they write many songs?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Songs that make the whole world sing?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What about people who can't sing?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or those who can only sing in falsetto?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does anyone sing in a genuinetto?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
As in Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe through the tulips ?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did he laugh all the way to the bank?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Did that have something to do with a nitrous oxide leak?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was it helium that made his voice so high?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was that the reason for the High Camp?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Was the cause drinking Camp Coffee?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was that really as disgusting as I seem to remember?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Has not a kindly amnesia blocked the memory?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean similar to the way the body cannot remember pain?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But can't the body remember that pain happened?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
What if a body meets a body, comin' through the rye?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Ah, so you know what happens in Peckham after dark, do you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What percentage of the national output of rye is grown in Peckham?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does that mean there's a glut of rye whiskey and beer in Peckham?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is it packaged with a wry smile?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it right that that reminds me of an old Tom Swiftie?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that the same as having a swift pint down at the pub?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't a pint better supped slowly than swiftly?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Don't "slow and steady win the race"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Which race are we talking about?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Did everyone win the race and will all get prizes?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do we have to sign up for the race first?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can I use a pseudonym?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would it belong in Pseuds' Corner?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or Pooh Corner, perhaps?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What about Poet's Corner?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is Pooh a poet, and doesn't know it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or would that be Pooh Bah?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does he shout "Bah, humbug!"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that an acceptable thing to shout under the circumstances?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would it be better to suck a humbug than to shout about one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might I prefer to suck on something fierier?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Might it be better to suck on a Fishermans Friend?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Won't the fisherman -- or his friend -- object?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are fishermen, or their friends, objectionable?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Can they steer a ship straight?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What if they don't want to be straight?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely going straight would make a quicker voyage from A to B?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that still apply on the surface of a quasi-spherical object?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does that depend on one knowing a lot of geometry?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't mathematics merely the language of science?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is it found in Windermere?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Can you get there by means of a tesseract, folding space and time?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is folding in four dimensions difficult?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Per "A Wrinkle In Time", isn't a tesseract the *fifth* dimension?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't they sing "Up, Up, and Away"?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that the one about my beautiful balloon?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What if the only balloon available was a plain one?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't there beauty in it's very utility?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Have you seen the film "The Red Balloon"?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it similar to The Red Shoes with Moira Shearer?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did she start here career working with sheep?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Was she Welsh?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you thinking she was a rarebit?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you aware just how cheesy that sounds?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But what is the appropriate cheese?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Possibly Stinking Bishop?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
To drink with that is it appropriate to choose Bishop's Tipple?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would a Bishop's Finger be more appropriate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Where would you point it?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Goodness, does that mean the bishop is flipping someone off (which, in the US, is done with a single finger)?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would a bishop ever be so gauche?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
You haven't known very many bishops, have you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How should I ever aspire to such exalted company?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would you rather expire?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How might that event transpire?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
A failure to respire?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is respiratorion considered desirable?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is a respirator hireable?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If a church needs a new steeple do you re-spire it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If steeples are stationary why do people chase them?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
If they were indoors, would they be inspired?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
So what would you call them if they were sweaty?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Wouldn't sweaty spires be perspired?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would my local friends here thus be Perspir-Asians?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Do they venerate Persephone?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't that be only with persiflage?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that what happens when you disguise yourself as a washing up bottle?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is that a bottle of dish soap/detergent, for us cross-Pond folks?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Isn't that washing up liquid (detergent) named after the herb parsley?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't it Rosemary who suggested that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it thyme to get off this tangent?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Has anyone ever told you to marjoram business?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you consider that to be sage advice?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should I seek advice at the Basilica?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Wasn't Parsley a lion in 'The Herbs'?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wasn't Herbie a Volkswagen Beetle?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did he beetle off when told to?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
You mean, did Beetlebaum race off?
(NOTE: slightly possibly there might be some NSFW lyrics--it's been a long time since I listened to it thoroughly, and it's an old song from a rather raucous performer, Spike Jones. I just did a quick listen, and didn't *catch* any problems...)
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What is a Beetle Tree?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
A Christmas tree hung round with Volkswagen Beetles, silly?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that another supposed "German tradition" about Christmas that didn't actually exist 150 years ago?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Well, surely VWs didn't exist 150 years ago, so...?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But may they not well exist in the future?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you think bugs will outlast humanity?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Haven't cockroaches been around for about 320 million years -- and won't they outlive us by that much as well?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
You really think they'll outlive Keith Richards?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Isn't he a stone, rather than a beetle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could he be a stone Beetle?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Could he be a stoned Beatle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How unusual would that be?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that why Tom Jones sang 'It's not unusual'?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was it unusual for Tom Jones to sing?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about the Henry Fielding character?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Sorry, were my words supposed to have meaning?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are we talking about more meaning, less meaning, or total meaninglessness?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we limited to just the three categories?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Could we use catalogues instead?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Hasn't the internet made most catalogues obsolete?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't The Internet used for cataloguing?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that where you chase a cat around with a log?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't chasing a dog with a log rhyme better?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
But why would you want to chase a dog?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
It's dogs that chase after logs isn't it, not the other way around?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that rather depend on the nature of both dog and log?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Have you honestly ever seen a log chase anything at all?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could I have seen it after I took those funny pills at that party?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Did you think they were funny because they had smiley faces on them?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did they tell jokes?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Were they only funny to the initiated?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are funnies initiated or just repeated endlessly down the years?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is there an initiation ceremony?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Isn't the initiation done "sky-clad", leaping over a fire, on the slopes of Mt. Shasta (rumored to have space aliens living inside), followed by spiced cocoa, homemade doughnuts, and quiet conversation under the stars??
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it be possible to just go for the cocoa and doughnuts?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What have you got against conversations by starlight?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend upon the climate?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or who you're conversing with?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
With whom are you conversing?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Did you know that's what the voices in my head keep asking me, or was it a coincidence?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Gosh, can you hear them too?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you worry when they go quiet?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is this thread going quiet?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can't you hear the sound of whistling?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it downwind?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is it the gypsy rover, come over the hill, into the valley so shady?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Did you know that The Whistling Gypsy Rover is not a traditional folk song but a copyrighted piece from the 1950s?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't it amazing the wealth of knowledge stored in Shipmates brains?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is the daily rate of leakage greater than the daily input of new data?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Are you implying that shipmates are leaky cisterns?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or nuns who raise leeks?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do they wear leeks in their wimples on Saint David's Day?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely, they wear tureens of cream of leek soup as hats, to dish out to the poor, and juggle bowls and spoons as they walk??
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do they often do that kind of thing around your way?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely they'd look out of place if they didn't?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you familiar with nun's habits?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do they have familiars?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are they all black cats?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Can't familiars be owls?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
How does one familiarize oneself with owls?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might that not be a criminal offence?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Doesn't everyone want to be familiar with us owls?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you been hanging around with the Harry Potter fan club again?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does Hermione do the fan dance?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Do you think that would be worth watching or just downright embarrassing?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Do you think Harry would do it better?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you just wild about Harry?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can Harry be described as a Wild Thing?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does he make your heart sing? Does he make everything groovy?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, but only until he shouts "Expecto patronum!" and deals with you?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What's he dealing in?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is he a card dealer in Vegas?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would you buy a used card from him?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Shouldn't one always start with a new deck?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it need scrubbing with a holy-stone first?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely a bristle brush would be more efficient?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Does it matter where else those bristles may have been?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How pernickety are you about such things?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
How pernickety should we be?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
As members of the worldwide Church or as members of the public?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does the Worldwide Church use a nickelodeon?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can it afford the running cost of such a device?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it be cheaper if it walked?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it have the right boots?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are those boots made for walking?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that just what they'll do?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Will they walk all over you one of these days?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would they dare?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Wouldn't they enjoy it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you advocating hedonism?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Don't you mean pedestrianism?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you like me and find pedestrians annoying when you are driving and drivers annoying when you are walking?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Haven't you forgotten the cyclists?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't everyone?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Do the bicycle wheels go 'round and 'round, like the windmills of your mind?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you tilting at the windmills of your mind?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wasn't there a mouse with clogs on who lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam?
Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on
:
have you seen him ?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Wasn't he there on the stair?
Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on
:
Where on the stair ?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was it the stairway to Heaven?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If there's such a thing as a stairway to Heaven, do you think there's also an elevator to Purgatory?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or a fireman's pole to Hell?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Wouldn't it be a greasy pole?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did they use Oliver Oil?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that a character in an alternative version of Popeye?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it possible it runs on the plant Bluto?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or the planet Pluto?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wasn't Pluto Mickey Mouse's dog?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Is Pluto currently regarded as a planet or not?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can a planet also be a dog?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If a god can be a planet, does it not then become a matter of semantics?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps you should ask the god-commemorative planets in our solar system--Pluto, Saturn, etc.?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't this be considered idolatry in some quarters?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Earth the only planet in our solar system that isn't god-commemorative?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Isn't the Earth deified as Gaia?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should we put it on a pedestal?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Would that make it eligible for a pedicure?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does anyone have big enough clippers?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Big enough to sail in?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are they transporting tea?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it lead to transports of delight?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it a 37 horsepower, diesel-engined ominbus?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Did you mean omnibus or, perhaps, a fantastical conveyance?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang, a certain time-traveling police box, a flying carpet, the magic school bus?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is this a tick-box game?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is a tick happy in a box?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think it would be more comfortable on a dog?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Does the comfort level differ between different breeds of dog?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
For the dog or for the tick?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it a bluetick coonhound?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or is it Rikki-Tikki-Tavi from the jungle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But isn't Rikki-Tikki-Tavi a mongoose and not a dog?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
How did we get from deifying planets to a mongoose?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Drugs?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Where do drugs feature on this section of the thread, other than in your mind?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
And have you got any to spare?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would a spare tyre do?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you had a tiring day?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it time to retire?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Do you change your own tires?
[ 28. August 2016, 15:21: Message edited by: no prophet's flag is set so... ]
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Whose tires would you expect me to change?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is change inevitable?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't an occasional change of clothes be advisable, especially if residing in a hot climate?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did you pay with exact change?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is having exacting standards a good thing?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Was Thing, from the "Addams Family" TV show, good?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think I could have played that part?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, if you'd been a disembodied hand and arm that could think, understand speech, use sign language, be funny, and crawl around through things by unknown means?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you suggesting the thinking bit might be a problem for me?
Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on
:
what do you think ?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is thinking all that it's cracked up to be?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you think that I understand the meaning of that question or is possible that in the tumult in my mind caused by reading too much poorly worded philosophy that my cognitive functions have become so befuddled that I am no longer sure of the basic meaning, however simply meant, of what it is you ask of me?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could you repeat that for me but more simply?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Sipech, based on your post, perhaps you should take a long walk in the fresh air?
[ 31. August 2016, 03:38: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How fresh is the fresh air where Sipech is?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
If it gets too fresh should someone slap it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is violence the answer?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Would that someone be a slapstick comedian?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would a pie in the face help?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is there ice cream with that?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you prefer it in a cone or in a tub?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are those the only options?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely one could have wafers or brioche?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are sundaes not available?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Sunday a few days away?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But isn't it always getting closer?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps, as in the Tortoise and Hare Paradox, we never quite arrive there?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Where were we heading?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it a mystery tour?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you we might be heading to Wiltshire to find a mystery tor?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I what?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Do you ever?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Should I more often?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Is "more" a verb?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Might that not, at least partially, depend on context?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
So you're trying to context verbing "more"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Didn't Perry Como sing it a long time ago?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
If Perry Como bowled an over of cricket and his went all squiffy, would that explain the Como over hairstyle that is so much derided?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
His what went all squiffy?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you know why it is that when I post on this thread, the occasional word keep being cut out?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Would I have to kill you if I told you the answer?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it be worth the risk?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that a board game about world domination?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Freedom and Song the board for those interested in domination?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't submission count?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
I thought a submission counted for ten?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What about a knockout?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you think "It's a knockout" is due for a revival?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can't we just give thanks that is all over?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it really all over now?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Has the fat lady sung?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What did she sing this time?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How can I put this.....you know those crystal glasses you were given as a present?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
You mean that enormously expensive antique set?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Set of what?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I need a Venn diagram to explain it?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Is that the Venerable Venn?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is venerating mathematicians common?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Can they be both venerable and common?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can they be venial?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Isn't this a disease?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would the College of Cardinals agree?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Were they the ones that won University Challenge a few years back?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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What was their chosen topic?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Are you getting muddled with Mastermind?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is the female version Mistressmind?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is this opening the door for some very sexist humour?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Which shipmate do you think has the sexiest sense of humour?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Am I allowed to nominate myself?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Wouldn't you like to reconsider that request?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Who can I nominate instead?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Cher?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is Cher a Shipmate?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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How would we know?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is anonymity important?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Ask Anonymous and Julian Assange?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Didn't Anonymous write a lot of early poetry?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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But as Anon E. Mouse?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did he write poetry, too?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is this very thread not poetry in itself?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is it my imagination or does it lack the necessary metre and rhyme?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Doesn't your mind have rhythm?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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If I have no rhythm does that mean I have no music?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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If you did have rhythm and music, could you ask for anything more?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would an eternal supply of good cheese be too much to ask?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Isn't good cheese an oxymoron?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Wouldn't you be put off by the word Processed?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Have the disgusting processed peas been mentioned yet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do they still serve them at school dinners?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Has anyone ever gotten to the bottom of the question as why they weren't referred to as school lunches?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Did you know that we call them school lunches in the U.S.?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Why would I have known that?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Why wouldn't you?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Is it common knowledge?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is common knowledge necessarily common?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Is it necessarily contingent?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are you talking about the African Contingent or the Asian Contingent?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Could it not be the European contingent?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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On what continent is the European contingent currently congregating?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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XXX, the mysterious last continent of Disc World?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do they sell CDs?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do you mean Certificates of Deposit?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Are you certifiable?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Why don't we ask the king of the potato people?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can we have fries with that?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Or do you call them chips?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are we going to a casino?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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The Casino Royale, which James Bond frequented, or would you prefer one of Trump's gaming establishments?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do you think I would be caught dead (or alive) in a Trump establishment?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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With a name like that isn't it a shame he's not running for the Scottish Parliament?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Isn't that a bit much to wish on bonny Scotland?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would he look bonny in a bonnet?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do you mean the bonnet of a car?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Don't they call them "hoods" in the US?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Aren't 'hoods' gangsters?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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What then would be an academic hood?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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A scrap car hood from a junkyard*, sent to school all dressed up?
*No offense; it's just where you would get a car hood on its own. They hang out there.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would it have anywhere to go?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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I said it was going to school, but are you saying it's all dressed up and no place to go?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would I be so presumptuous?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Do you have a track record along those lines?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do you mean not going to school or being presumptuous?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Presumably going to school, but not really going?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Wouldn't my parents be cross with me if I tried that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Surely, at your age, it is none of their business?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Are you suggesting that our dear Wodders is closer to taking a Saga holiday than one with Club 18-30?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can I choose an option there, please?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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So which would you choose?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can I choose an eremetic holiday far from the madding crowd?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
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If the choice is yours, can you not choose what you wish?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Have asked that question to a Calvinist?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Or a Hobbesist?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can I give a Platonic answer?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Would not that be but a shadow of an answer?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Have we shadows offended?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Aren't we a full season late for that?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Perhaps there's an off-season sale?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is that when the salt has lost its savour?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Would you prefer savoury to mixed herbs?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Or Peaches & Herb?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Wasn't that a VW Beetle?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Did it run on Beetlejuice, all over Betelgeuse?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did it need a towel to wipe up the overspill of fuel?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Isn't this a Ship of Fuels?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are the fuels eco-friendly?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is someone who likes mice eek-o friendly?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Is that pun brain-o-friendly?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would Steve Martin consider it doubly so?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Certainly, but would it be all of him?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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What parts would you like to omit?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Perhaps we should ask Roxanne?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Does she have to put on the red light?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Wouldn't it be better to put on a dress?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Are you trying to put us on?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Like Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle in "Young Frankenstein", performing "Puttin' On The Ritz"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is that one of your favourite movies, too.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Yes; surely it's "super-duper"?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Or would that be super-duplicitous?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Mightn't it be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Don't you think that word sounds perfectly atrocious?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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If I say it loud enough will I sound precocious?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Is it the biggest word you ever heard, and how does it go?
ETA: Fix cross-post.
[ 27. September 2016, 17:00: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Has it gone?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Is it with the wind?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Has it whistled down the wind?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Is that the gypsy rover, whistling as he comes over the hill?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is the gypsy rover wild?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Surely, because he whistled and he sang 'til the green woods rang?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Sure it wasn't a wrong number?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Well, if so, Manhattan Transfer suggests you call the Operator, don't they?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does the operator perform operations?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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What if s/he's not operational?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Aren't non-operative operatives more of a concern to theoretical mathematicians?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Aren't they more concerned with imaginary numbers?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Would you write imaginary letters the same way you write imaginary numbers?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Would you write them with invisible ink?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does the Invisible Man write with invisible ink, or am I just imagining it?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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If we cover him with lemon juice, will he appear?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is that the way this church thinks the parousia will come about?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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As a concept can it be so closely defined?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Or would you describe it as a misconception?
[ 29. September 2016, 19:41: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Is that what has happened when one is expecting a baby girl?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are you expecting visitors?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Would it help if I fixed the doorbell?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Where would you fix it?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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In a bell tower?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Is that where the Beast kept Belle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Was her mind cracked?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Does the tale resonate?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are you talking about an echo?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Are you referring to Échos du temps perdu?*
*Echoes of times past (or lost)
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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What if I have forgotten what I was talking about?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Have you regotten it yet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Has it disappeared into the miasma that is my past?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do we really want to hear about your past?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Can I remember any of it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Aren't those who forget the past doomed to repeat it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does asparagus repeat on everybody?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Like an old Ronnie Barker programme?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do you lightly steam old Ronnie Barker programmes and serve them with butter?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Shouldn't that be parsnips?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do parsnips and asparagus really go together?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Might it be better than mishearing "parsnips and old mace"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do you grow mace in your garden?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Isn't a mace a weapon used to bludgeon people?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Do you not add it to milk puddings?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Is that what can also be called nutmeg?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Are you calling Meg a nut?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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What about her brother, Wing?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is his surname Walker?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Was he from Brazil?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did he wax?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Is the moon on the wane?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is that the same kind of wane that the hay was on?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Was Wayne's surname Kerr?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Was Wayne's first name Bruce, and was his mansion over a cave?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did the creature in the cave only come out after dark?
[ 06. October 2016, 07:45: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Are we talking about Michael Howard again?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Isn't he just one of many candidates?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Would that be a candidate for the film Vlad the Impaler?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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If the film were "Vlad The Impala", would PETA protest?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Isn't an Impala a Chevrolet car?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Isn't that part of the GM group?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Grand Masons?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does the prospect of Genetically Modified cars not appeal to you?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is that the next installment in the Disney Pixar franchise?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Who truly knows the depths to which Hollywood will sink?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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20, 000 Leagues under the Sea?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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City Beneath The Sea?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is that twinned with the City on the Edge of Forever?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Shouldn't the City on the Edge of Forever be twinned with Never-Never Land?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Could the town councils ever agree?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Surely not before the Second Coming?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Would that involve me being snatched bodily up to heaven?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why are you assuming an upward destination?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Could it be that the light from my halo keeps me awake some nights?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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I'm sure it must wake the neighbors, so perhaps you could wear a night-cap to bed?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do you enjoy a nightcap before going to bed?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Don't you find that the threads get caught in your teeth?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Doesn't that depend on the thread count, and whether it's Egyptian cotton?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is Egyptian cotton still preferred these days?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Perhaps only if it's also organic and fair trade, and laced with a dark chocolate scent?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Does the word dark refer to the chocolate or the scent?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Is 'dark chocolate scent' a euphemism for a coprological odour?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Doesn't that depend more on the purity of heart of both the writer and the reader?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Surely an impure mind can find filth in anything?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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And surely it's the scent of dark chocolate candy, wrapping every thread, to please those who venerate dark chocolate--and, of course, to get their money?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Has their money greatly devalued in the last 4 months?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Did you know Sterling has dropped 15+% in that time?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Do you know how nice that is for tourists from other countries?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Are you suggesting that UK is overpriced?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Just the "FCUK" brand?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is that any relation to Jo Brand?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Or Russell Brand?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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Was it really necessary to mention him?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is he an unmentionable?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
From Victoria's Secret?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did Queen Victoria have a secret?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Was it her use of opiates?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Aren't they now referred to as starburstiates?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a medical term?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What term would you use?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't Hilary a Term at certain universities?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about Sir Edmund Hillary?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Wasn't he a climber of some repute?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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How do you climb Repute--and where is it, anyway?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Isn't it very unwise to lose your Reputation?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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What if it's a good reputation?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
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What if it's not?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Is that an existential question?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Does an existential question really exist?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't the use of the word exist in that context rather loaded?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it help if it was a top loaded washing machine?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why are dryers never top loading?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't spin-driers qualify?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are rotary clothes driers eligible?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Eligible for the Rotary Club?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
How fast does a club rotate, and where does e=mc^2 come into it?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't that relative?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Relatively energetic square dancing, before mass, with the bright lights on?
[ 19. October 2016, 02:42: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will the lights all be focused on me?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why are you always the focus?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it because of my scintillating personality and stunning good looks?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is the Pope Catholic?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that a prerequisite for the job?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Might it not fall foul of religious discrimination laws?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do they have them in the Vatican State?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that a state of ecstasy?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was it ecstasy or agony?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
For some people can the two co-exist?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Michelangelo?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wasn't he a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Who sculpted?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are turtles known to be artistic?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't it be difficult for them to hold an implement?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely they could walk around on paper on which finger paint has been spread, thus painting with their toes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would The Tate Modern be interested?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps you should ask Larry Tate, from "Bewitched"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was he a sugar baron?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be like a jelly baby but grown up?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Like a sugar daddy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What do you call a sugar daddy with no money?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would he be an artificial sweetener daddy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does that mean Saccharine Daddy is appropriate?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that the new name for P Diddy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was he an enuretic member of the Diddy Men?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are there Diddy women as well?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Perhaps they all stay backstage to avoid the Tickling Stick - should we ask Ken Dodd?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Mightn't he dislike being interrogated about what he does with his tickling stick?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you afraid you might get the tickling treatment?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is that some form of "alternative" medicine?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps alternative medicine is required to recover from the tickling treatment?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
:
WouldMr Tickle approve?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you being Little Miss Silly now?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
:
Does she like a tickle?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is she up for a giggle?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Can't girly giggling become wearing, quite quickly?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is it worse than boyish giggling?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it not fun for all participants, but annoying for everyone else?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
What else might be conjured up in one's mind when you ask that?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you imagine yourself as a conjuror?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't judges and attorneys try to remove jurors who are ex-cons?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely they must feed all the jurors scones and jam, before releasing any of them?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Will there be clotted cream as well?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it be practical to offer a selection of different fruit jams?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Might it be more practical than vegetable jams?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
What about traffic jams?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
What about jim-jams?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What colour and design would you prefer?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Paisley, all sorts?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would that be with liquorice?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Curly liquorice, with hundreds and thousands?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or grape licorice, AKA grape vines?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did you hear it through the grapevine?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Won't you always be mine?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Have you ever been, or wished to have been a miner?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Mightn't you become a miner didn't have enough Latin to get through the rigorous judging exams?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Isn't it enough to have read the book "Winnie ille Puh", a real book that's a translation into Latin?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Who wants to read about a fictional bear?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't you like to read about Paddington Bear?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is he smarter than the average bear?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
By average do you mean or median or something else?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
I didn't know he was mean, but wasn't that Yogi?
[ 11. November 2016, 14:41: Message edited by: Doone ]
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Yogi, who studies yoga with Yogananda and Yoda?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does he also yodel?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is he a lonely goatherd?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Does he live high on a hill?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What has he been smoking this time?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Smoked beef jerky?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that with fries on the side?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps put the fries into a Bayritto, which is surprisingly good, having had one recently?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Where was the Bayritto in that link?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Did you scroll down the page?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Why, was it hiding?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did you expect it to jump out at you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
With my heart, why would I want that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are they so very frightening?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Are you a scaredy-cat?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't cowards live longer?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Are they cowards of the county?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Don't cowards die many times before their deaths?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do they dye as well?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
In the wool?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you woolgathering again?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you going to knit a Scandi sweater?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What made you think I can knit?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you not knit?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or can you knot a fringe?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you think my hair is long enough for that?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
You have hair?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was that a folically-challenged question?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Can you get medication for that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would snake oil do?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't snakes rather folically-challenged themselves?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Take folic acid supplements, do they?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that why the hairy mongoose always wins?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
If a mongoose isn't a bird, is it still descended from dinosaurs?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How direct a connection do you seek?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Might a spark plug do the trick?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is it some sort of stand-in magician?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why would you stand in a magician?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Were you sitting up when you posted that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why should I sit up when I can lie down and take a nap?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Does a cat accompany your naps?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you offering me your cat?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you want it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't they supposed to taste like chicken?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Where's Campbellite when you need him?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Didn't he produce tinned soup?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you mean cat soup?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Wasn't Duck Soup a Marxist plot?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Soup delivered to the table by Chico, hovered over by Groucho, and accompanied on the harp by Harpo, while Zeppo was there on a date, and Gummo handled the accounting?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Or was that Gumbo with the stew?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Would that be stew for people without any teeth?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why else would it be called gumbo?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Because it was a specialty of the claymation character Gumby?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Or perhaps Monty Python gumbies?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Did one of them kill the parrot?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How do you know it is dead?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Have you used the tried and tested method of poking it with a stick?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Have you noticed if it's nailed to the perch?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could it be just pining for the fjords?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Was its perch made of pine?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are they Norwegian Blue pines?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Do you ever get that strange feeling that you've lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is that déjà vu?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Or is it inebriation?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Why, is there a problem?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Have you had one too many?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Why not have two or three too many?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can too many be quantified rather more exactly?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
As "More than you can happily carry", perhaps?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you get someone else to carry them for you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you volunteering?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Can you trust Pigwidgeon that much?
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
Is this about a full, unopenned bottle or one which cap is off?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you remove your cap as a sign of respect?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Aren't caps rather passé?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do children still use them in toy guns?
Posted by Tobias (# 18613) on
:
Are not toy guns deprecated these days?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
What about those days?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Were they the days, my friend?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Excuse me, do I know you?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Has your dementia progressed so far?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Do you know the name of the Prime Minister?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does she have prime ribs?
[ 07. December 2016, 15:05: Message edited by: Pigwidgeon ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are they covered in a barbecue sauce?
Posted by Tobias (# 18613) on
:
Am I the one whom Sipech does not know, or should we look for another?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Are you the "unknown god", of the inscription in Athens?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What if he doesn't know?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Like Rob, in the H2G2 books, who was a rain god but didn't know it, and the clouds all cuddled up to him?
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Have you ever encountered a cuddly cloud?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
Is your head in the clouds?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do I look like a thurifer?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or, perhaps, a Thuringer sausage?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What are those made of?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't laws like sausages, in that it is better not to see them being made?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why does no one ever mention babies in the same context?
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
:
How might we compare babies to sausages?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are Little Smokies baby sausages, and will they grow up to be adult sausages?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely, they'll grow up to be fire ranger bears, like Smokey?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that a mountain all covered with snow?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or perhaps "On Top Of Spaghetti", as in the kids' song?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can vegetarian kids fully appreciate that song?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Surely they can, provided the "meat" balls are actually falafel, soy, or veggie burgers?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would a veggie burger be able to roll out of the door before tipping over?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would it roll into the garden and under a bush?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
George H W or George W Bush?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or a mulberry bush?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you cultivating silkworms?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Can you make a silkworm out of a sow's ear?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
As all life is inter-related aren't they already basically the same thing?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps a lovely sow with strong silk wings to play with Schroedinger's Cat?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But is the cat dead or alive?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Does the cat care, seeing it's now got an equally impossible playmate?
(When pigs fly...)
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If you move a cargo of pigs by airfreight does that qualify?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would they get frequent flyer miles?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
How often does Miles fly?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Have you asked him?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Seeing as he's Miles O'Brian of "Star Trek: TNG", mightn't that be a mite difficult?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can we calculate it in parsecs?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
While eating parsnips?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are the parsnips roast after being par-boiled and rolled in a little flour and grated [fresh!] parmesan?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
And served on a fresh croissant, with ham and Swiss?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Who is the Swiss person being served on a croissant?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Is he related to Monsieur Croque?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Was that the chap who invented the footwear known as Crocs?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Why do some people call me An Old Croc?
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on
:
Who would do a thing like that?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Hopefully, not an Aussie called "Dundee"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could the future assassin of the President Elect of the USA be called Dundonald?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Why don't we move on from that extremely unfortunate choice of humor?
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
:
[tangent]
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Could the future assassin of the President Elect of the USA be called Dundonald?
Quotes File!
[/tangent]
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Should I move this thread back to the top of the page?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Hmm...perhaps this would be a good day to go out and play hopscotch?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it require players hopping whilst holding a full glass of Single Malt and not spilling a drop?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Or does it involve ale made with hops?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that what Hopalong Cassidy drank?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was he related to Butch Cassidy?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or singer David Cassidy?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
So related to a Partridge as well?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was he in a pear tree?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or a funky, psychedelic bus for a traveling band?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was he flyin' 'cross the land tryin' to get a hand?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
From California to the New York island?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Was it made for you and me?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
If we roam and ramble, and are as cantankerous as Pete Seeger?
Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on
:
Am I supposed to know who he is ?
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
Do we ever, really, know who anybody is?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would we want to?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't it depend on how we see ourselves?
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on
:
Would we really want to see ourselves as others see us?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you consider it a gift?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are there not some gifts we would rather not receive?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it not unwise to look a gift horse in the mouth?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you seen horses' teeth recently?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Aren't they a little long in the tooth?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How old is the horse?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Why, are thinking of entering it for the Derby?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't Derby where they make Rolls Royces?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are they not made in Crewe any more?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
J.J. Crewe clothing stores?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do they supply clothing for crews?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Yes, and perhaps for crows?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do crows crew cruise ships?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't that why ships have crow's nests?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is that so they have a ready supply of cruising crows learning on the job?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can cruising crows learn to be aquatic?
Posted by Tobias (# 18613) on
:
Why are South Australians sometimes called 'crow-eaters'?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it because they eat crows?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do they crow about it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Aren't the Crow tribe based around Montana these days?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't Joe Montana play football?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you mean soccer?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does it depend on your nationality?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't everything depend on that in this increasingly divided world?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
But "There is just one moon and one golden sun, And a smile means friendship to everyone, there's so much that we share that it's time we're aware It's A Small World After All", surely?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
From whence did you pilfer that quote?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Haven't you ever had an earworm of "It's a Small World"?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
And isn't it the theme song from the "It's A Small World" exhibit/ride at Disneyland in Anaheim, California, with lots of dolls, from all sorts of countries and in national dress, singing that song?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Didn't that ride (and ear wormy song) first appear at the New York World's Fair in 1964?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can we all remember that far back?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Isn't it said that, if you can remember the 60's, then you weren't there (or something like that)?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that apply to someone as pure and innocent as me?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
From your self-effacing description, would I be right in surmising that you are not a Calvinist?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you think of many Calvinist Quakers?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Like comics characters Calvin & Hobbes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was Hobbes really a Quaker?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Of course, and didn't he eat Quaker Oats every morning?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Was he a regular sort of guy?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't he need to add prunes to ensure that?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can you write runes on prunes or are they too wrinkly?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does it ruin the prune?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is the prune stoned?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is a stoned prune like a Pickled Plum?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be a character from Clue, or Cluedo?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Col. Mustard, is that you in the library?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Isn't is messy to have condiments in the library?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on how scrupulous one is?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Does one need scruples to eat in a library?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wouldn't only an unscrupulous person dare to eat in a library?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
What if there's a food cart in the library?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would the temptation prove too great for most?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Wouldn't it depend on what's on the food cart?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would you care to make some suggestions?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
"Books" made of chocolate and shortbread?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But what about the poor souls who are allergic to chocolate?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Wouldn't the food truck serve more than one thing?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
How many food trucks do you expect in a library?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't there be a danger of greasy finger marks all over the books?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wouldn't that be an ideal way to keep track of the types of books that individuals prefer to read?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Could we also, via the same information, keep track of the most popular foods?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What, like a railway timetable?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Or an Excel spreadsheet?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are the other spreadsheets that are available not as good?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely its name should answer that for you, or was its designer just being boastful?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Isn't that what companies do to promote their wares?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would sweet Molly Malone's ditty (she of Dublin's fair city fame), have fulfilled that function?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Would you want to buy live cockles and mussels in a library
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
May I be forgiven for omitting the question mark in my previous post?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you asking individuals or the Deity for forgiveness?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Does the Deity care about punctuation?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Don't you think that it can sometimes be important?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
As in the placement of commas in the title of the humorous grammar book "Eats, Shoots, And Leaves"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you read that as well?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely required reading for all punctuation-phobes?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Only punctuation-phobes or punctuation-philes as well?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Are you trying to increase sales?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Do you not think it is a worthy book?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
:
What is a worthy book?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is that a moral judgment?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Does it have a moral?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Could you define that?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
As in "'That' is a relative pronoun in the English language"?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
What if my first language is Iroquois?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Can you think of an alternative?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is an alternative language like an alternative fact?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would that be classed as a paradox?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is a paradox a pair of dachshunds?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would they be classified as Germans?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
:
If they are declassified, would that make them French Poodles?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Is there any other type of poodle?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
The felt poodle on a poodle skirt?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
A toy poodle?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
If you can get a toy poodle why can't you get a toy Great Dane?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would a small Viking fit the bill?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Doesn't that depend on the size of the bill?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Who's going to pay the bill?
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
Did I just hear Wodders offering?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Have you talked to anyone about your hallucinations?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Is it a case of 'can I have some of what he's on on'?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Am I going on and on again?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
And on and on, to infinity and beyond?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wgat will we find beyond infinity?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Surely it will be Buzz, Woody and friends?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Along with Woody the Woodpecker and Friends, from the old cartoon series?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would we also be in 'Hitchhikers Guide' territory?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Isn't *everything* in H2G2 territory?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Wasn't there something about 42?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Are you talking about Bill Clinton?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What could I possibly have, of interest, to say about him?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Nothing, apparently, since we've been silent for a couple of months; so why don't we talk about Bigfoot, Nessie, etc.?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Hadn't this thread sunk to the bottom of Loch Ness?
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Perhaps it escaped through the theoretical hole that lets Nessie and kin out into the sea?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Should we welcome it back with open arms?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that hole purely theoretical?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Has anyone ever seen it?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Wouldn't it then be not quite classed as theoretical?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Are you sure you're not getting muddled with hypothetical?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are we discussing my brain power?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Well, how much have you got?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
How good are you at fractions?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it tell you enough that I got the absolute bottom fail grade (I think grade 9) for o'level maths twice?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Can we blame the teachers for that?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Would it not be more generous just to say I'm mathematically challenged?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
But would that be generous to you?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Under the circumstances, how could it not be?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
To be or not to be?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is that the question?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
How would you know if that's the right question?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Are you doubting The Bard?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
I understand that the Bard didn't always get his facts right?
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
Do you mean that clocks didn't strike during the time of Julius Caesar?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Did they have trades unions then?
Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on
:
Is Len McCluskey that old?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
How old does one have to be?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Is it older than me?
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
:
Is that possible ?
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
What are the chances of finding eternity?
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
Would it be easier to find MATernity?
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