Thread: Scene 6: On the road to Bethlehem Board: Nativity Play / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Lickel Donkey

So Mary and Joseph have set off on their way. But where is Joseph? And why is Mary riding on a donkey? We will find out, I'm sure...
 
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
A donkey plods the road to Bethlehem
Upon its back, a maiden great with child
Joseph sent ahead the pair of them
Because his tax return soon must be filed

Through winter's depth they journey, weary, on
For Mary it's a time when doubts might loom
She thinks, "Is truly this God's only Son?
And I do hope that Joseph's booked a room."

In Naz'reth Joseph wears a look forlorn
His tax return he's busy filling in.
An endless struggle with a complex form
His only comfort slugs of Bombay gin.

The Christmas traffic's backed up nose to tail
And, sod it all, it's coming on to rain.
To register at home they must not fail,
But getting there is one right regal pain
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Enter stage right a not-quite-as-serene-as-usual Mary, plus donkey and several suitcases. She is dressed in a rather fetching outfit in...er... blue.

Oh poor poor Joseph, stuck at home with all those forms to fill in. I think it was very kind of him to let me set off ahead with the donkey - he said he'd run and catch us up later. What a hero!

[ 15. December 2002, 10:50: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 stands on the stage, chewing her cud, idly looking around.]

Baa.

[Her attention, such as it is, turns to the clip-clop of donkey hooves.]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mind you, I must admit I thought he was kidding about the donkey.

Donkey?

I ask you?

In my condition? Travelling to Bethlehem on a donkey? And a ickle donkey at that!
 
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
<Sotto voce>

"Hero" my foot. He knew what the traffic would be like. And it's even worse than usual.

Look, someone's left a caravan of camels parked right on the main road. It's holding up traffic for miles.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Still, at least he's going to ring up and confirm the booking at the Plaza while he's home. Bless him... he's spending so much on me, I shouldn't grumble.

But this donkey, I ask you! [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Oh look at that, would you believe it? Hold on donkey... it looks like we might be here some time!
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
What you mean, this Donkey, I'll let you know I can 4 wheel drive anything on this planet!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Serenely clips the donkey round the ear'ole Hmmmm.... not only a donkey but a donkey with attitude!

Looks around for signs of assistance
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
You want a Caravan huh? Leather interior, or what? With the kid seat converter in the back? Dodge or Ford?
 
Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
A donkey. A $^@!&# donkey. Yo, bro!

*pokes the boring, good twin*

You're, like, God and everything, right? You're omnipotent, snap those proto-fingers and get us there, now. Preferably somewhere with a soft bed and lots of room service.

Thanks muchly.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Surely someone must be able to help!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
# Stereo turned up # Humming along #

I'm driving home for Christmas
Oh, I can't wait to see those faces
I'm driving home for Christmas, yea
Well I'm moving down that line
And it's been so long
But I will be there
I sing this song
To pass the time away
Driving in my car
Driving home for...


Oh my God!
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Hay, watch those ears, that's a Lloyd's of London protected Asset!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary looks serenely round and sees a little pink Skoda approaching at high speed, driven by what looks like a handsome young man.... She smiles, whispers a silent "thank you" towards the sky

Oh look, my shoelace is coming undone. That will never do!

Lifts the hem of her blue dress a little higher... well, considerably higher.... to facilitate tying her lace, of course
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Removing her sunglasses, she notices that the Skoda is in fact silver, and the handsome young man not quite as tanned as she first imagined, but then beggars can't be choosers!
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Ah, Mary, you know, Joe's at home, and I kind of said that I'd be like, watching out for ya, ya know? So just lower that hemline a bit, let me try, (jumps in front of car) STOP in the name of ....(doesn't know what to say) HAY!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Ultra confused] [Slams on breaks]

[Pulls alongside heavily pregnant lady at the roadside]

Em ... hello there, ... wait just one minute, I know your face from somewhere ...

... ah never mind - what does your problem appear to be?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary scratches the donkey tenderly behind the ears

Hold on ickle fellow, there may be hope for us yet.

Well, good morning young man... yes, your face does look surprisingly familiar. Don't I know your mother??? Well, the thing is, this donkey and I have got to get to Bethlehem and as you may have noticed, I am heavily pregnant.... and we have rather a lot of luggage too. I wondered whether you might be able to...er... Glances at Skoda squeeze at least one of us in.
 
Posted by Angel 2 (# 3710) on :
 
Angel 2 enters stage left.

Oh! But what a cute ickle donkey.

I just popped in to check on your progress. It's a bit slow isn't it, but then that camel jam ahead isn't helping, and Mary plus twins is quite a load.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mutters under her breath....
Quite a load? huh!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Very versitile car this, I'm sure I could squeeze both of you in, just as long as the donkey doesnt mind bending it's legs a bit and lying on it's side, otherwise it'll have to walk.

Starts folding down back seats

Hope you've got your purse with you, I need to fill up somewhere.
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
["HAY"? Sheep 3 sniffs the air and then heads for the Donkey in hopes of getting something to eat.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaa.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(Speaks from the side of his mouth so driver can't see or hear) Psst!, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea, it's you, me or the luggage. Maybe he could take the luggage on ahead and we'll meet him there? Like a walking holiday kind of thing...
 
Posted by Angel 2 (# 3710) on :
 
Angel 2 [Embarrassed]
Quite a beautiful load too. Such a becoming shade of blue.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Come on then donkey, are you ready? In you get!

Money... hmmm.... Joseph gave me a little ready cash, just in case of emergencies... and I do happen to have his credit card here, just in case.
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Hey - sheep, get away from my car ... I don't want dirty sheeps wool all over the interior [Mad]
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
Unfortunately, while crossing the stage, Sheep 3 upsets the camels parked on the road, who proceed to mill around in confusion, thus completely blocking all lanes.
 
Posted by Angel 2 (# 3710) on :
 
Oh, Mary, should you really?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Penny drops!

Leave the luggage? You must be joking!!!!!

Er, donkey.... how would you feel about walking? You could go with the angel [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
Vroooommmmmmrrrrwwwwww-BANG!-PHUT!-Vrom, Vrom, Chug, Vroooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

(The Tour Bus, laden with sheep and other assorted stable and unstable animals, and various gifts and gear that the Wise Men have not been able to fit on their Harleys, lurches past, going, inexplicably, in the opposite direction, dripping oil and leaving clouds of smoke in its wake. Sounds of snoring, interspersed with extracts from Mme Soleil's horoscope predictions for the Judea area, drift from the windows as it passes)
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Watch the ears, and ouch, my tail, and I have to hold my neck like this? (Begins to sing)
On the road again,
Can't wait to get on the road again
makin' heaven with my friends
and I can't wait to get on the road again....
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 ignores the naughty boy and continues trying to climb into the car and get at the hay.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[Sheep 3 wonders why she is thinking nasty thoughts about something called "Flood Control"]
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Saunters backstage and looks across to the action*

Sheep!!!! [Eek!]

Right after yesterday it's revenge

Here sheepy sheepy - come to Fairy Godmother Where's those shepheards when you need them?
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Fear not oh maiden, we'll get everything in.

[Proceeds to pile luggage around the donkey]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Right, that's the donkey in.... Hey donkey, you're a beast of burden... would you mind awfully carrying these suitcases on your lap? Thanks.

With a sweet, innocent smile at the young man, Mary slips into the front seat...well, sort of manoeuvres into the front seat... well, sort of wedges herself in sideways and shuffles a bit. Good job pregnant women don't have to wear a seatbelt!
 
Posted by Angel 2 (# 3710) on :
 
Naughty boy - it's not the sheep's wool
you need to be worried about.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Hayyyyyyy! That one is heavy, must be Mary's, put it on top!! Mine can go with me, everything else, tie it on top...
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 ignores the naughty boy and continues trying to climb into the car and get at the hay.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[Sheep 3 wonders why she is thinking nasty thoughts about something called "Flood Control"]

*Runs on stage and grabs back legs of sheep*

Not so fast you four legged, poop dropping, woolly haired, cud chewing, bottom butter...
[Mad]
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
BAAAAAA.

[Sheep 3 kicks and struggles]

BAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
The sacrifices I go to!

[Ties one or two cases on the top and puts as much as the donkey can livingly bear in the boot]

[Smile] @ Fairy Godmother

To the preggers woman Are you moving then?
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[...and of course that natural response to terror in nearly any animal is...]

*sheep plop*
*pssssssssssssssss*
*sheep plop*

[ 15. December 2002, 10:55: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Anyone for some Tic-Tacs? I mean I wouldn't want to point at some two legged mammals here in the car, but one of you needs something, or at least roll down the windows..Pleeeeaaazze!!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
No, just going for a short winter break with my husband-to-be. He's booked us in at the Plaza in Bethlehem, 'cos we've got to go there to hand the census forms in, of course.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
BAAAAAA.

[Sheep 3 kicks and struggles]

BAAAAAAAAAAAA

Got you - and there's no getting away this time
*Suddenly finds herself thrown inside the car still clinging to a protesting sheep*

Ouch you brute
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
All this stuff is for a *short* winter break??? How many of them are you expecting?

[changes the CD, starts the engine, and the car pulls away]
 
Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:

*pssssssssssssssss*
*sheep plop*

[Well, I did warn you ... ]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
# Turns Stereo up again #

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain...

*Turns and shouts at passenger*
so what's your name.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[...and of course that natural response to terror in nearly any animal is...]

*sheep plop*
*pssssssssssssssss*
*sheep plop*

Missed!!!!

*Notices rather large stain on BVM's lump*

[ 15. December 2002, 10:56: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary breathes in considerably in an attempt to let the young man get at the gear lever without too much difficulty

Sorry Jesus, sorry Cyril.. you're just going to have to put up with being a bit squashed for a while, my dears!

Turns to the young man with a smile It's twins, you know. Joseph is so proud of them!
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Hay, got any Christmas CD's in there? Can I look through your collection?
Away with a Donkey?
Donkeys we Have Heard on High?
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 notices she is jammed into the car within reach of the Donkey's bale of hay and begins eating]

*munch*
baaa.
*munch*
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Oh, and my name is the Virgin Mary because...well..it's a long story. *Blushes* What's yours?
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Brian.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Oh, and this is the donkey...er... what's your name donkey?
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
and I'm Donkey, in case you didn't notice there was someone sitting back here. (Notices sheep) Hay! He's eating my hay! Go find your own hay.
Haylleluah! Haylleluah!
(looks out windows)
What a nice drive, nothin' like takin' transportation.
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3, being securely wedged in among the luggage, ignores Donkey and continues eating.]

*munch*
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 notices she is jammed into the car within reach of the Donkey's bale of hay and begins eating]

*munch*
baaa.
*munch*

Give over you heavy brute

*Shoves sheep on to donkey*

Give a lady some room here
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Car hits black ice and swerves on road

*struggles to keep car on road*


grrrrrr [Help]

*winning battle*

*phew*


Why do they never treat these back roads. I blame that flock of sheep on the freeway.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Get off! You cud chewing excuse for a four legged mammal! Hay, I thought Fairies were small and tiny?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Gazes admiringly at Brian

Oh, excellent control.. though don't you think you may be going a little fast for the conditions? And my condition in particular....

Glances serenely at the fairy godmother Just keep that carrier bag handy!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Still sweating

Car's just a little full ...

Hey donkey ... found any good music in there?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Get off! You cud chewing excuse for a four legged mammal! Hay, I thought Fairies were small and tiny?

Watch it wise guy - this is the Godmother you're talking to.

This isn't any Disney Fairy [Snigger]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
well, let's see,
How about the soundtrack from the Sound of Music? That one is one of my favorites!
Move over fairy, give a donkey room to breathe back here (raises eyebrows at fairy godmother)
 
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Looks up from grazing in a nearby meadow to see a car go by with a number of large suitcases piled on top, with a very pregant woman squeezed into the front seat, a donkey, sheep and some kind of fairy woman squeezed into the back seat, with her wings hanging out the window, and some guy driving singing horribly off-key.

Shakes his head. They'll grant a driver's licence to anyone in Palestine these days. At least there aren't any of those wise guys around.

Saunters over to the side of the stage and begins chewing on the scenery.

 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Hmmm... would you like a wine gum?
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Why, yes I would, thank you so much Mary, I just knew we'd get along! (Begins to chew gum, blowing bubbles as gum softens while singing )
The Hills are Alive With the Sound of Music....
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
I have the sound of music in my car?

Throws CD out of window

Drat - just threw my fave [Paranoid] Spice Girls CD out the window - ah well.

# Skips a few tracks # Turns up volume #

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there ...

*Shouts at donkey*
We'll have the sound of music in a minute ... maybe. [Two face]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
There is the sound of "ickle donkey" played in rather artificial and jingly tones, at which Mary realises her mobile is ringing. Incoming text message

STILL STRGLING WIV FORM
HOPE DONKEY'S OK
WHERE DID U PUT THE PRINGLES?
C U SOONEST
LUV JOE
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
well, let's see,
How about the soundtrack from the Sound of Music? That one is one of my favorites!
Move over fairy, give a donkey room to breathe back here (raises eyebrows at fairy godmother)

Get rid of the sheep and we'll both have room
 
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on :
 
[From around a milling camel, ELS (Even Lowlier Shepherd) roars in on a moped, robe billowing behind him. As he passes Brian car, he reaches out, trying to recover the errant sheep.]
Just a bit more... Gotcha!!
[ELS pulls his arm from the car, holding...]
A fairy godmother?!!
[Distracted, ELS runs his moped off the road and into a nearby haystack.]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
DEAR JOE
PRINGLES IN SUITCASE
THANKS 4 REMINDER
DONKEY IN BACK SEAT
ALL'S WELL
C U THERE
LUV BVM

Hey, Brian... would you like a Pringle? Donkey, they're in the third suitcase down, tucked inside Joseph's shoe.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
WoW! You just don't see that every day! Hay sheep, just move over a bit, and I'll get you some more hay, deal?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Crawls from under moped and even lowlier shepherd - wings are twisted and straw is stuck to her hair*

What the? [Mad]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Yeah, now I've got some room back here, so lets see, some swaddling clothes, bibs, booties, ah yes, here it is, there ya go Mary!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Big Grin] # Flicks through a few more songs #

Well, I got us on a highway and I got us in a car
got us going faster than we've ever gone before
I got us on a highway and I got us in a car
got us going faster than we've ever gone before ...


Pringles - that all you got? ... I'd much rather have a Tunnocks caramel wafer and a can of Irn-Bru, just to keep me awake while driving these long distances.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Goodness Brian, the car suddenly seems to have got its second wind... doesn't seem to be making half such heavy work of it now!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
# Turns volume down #

and I know it ain't gonna last
and I know it ain't gonna last
when I see your eyes arrive
they explode like two bugs on glass ...


What was that Mary?
 
Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
[From around a milling camel, ELS (Even Lowlier Shepherd) roars in on a moped, robe billowing behind him. As he passes Brian car, he reaches out, trying to recover the errant sheep.]
Just a bit more... Gotcha!!
[ELS pulls his arm from the car, holding...]
A fairy godmother?!!
[Distracted, ELS runs his moped off the road and into a nearby haystack.]

<Enter the Director, already a teensiest bit annoyed after a disagreement with the blue arrow that insists on depositing her at the end of Page One every time she wants to reach the latest posts. At the sight of Fairy Godmother and ELS's legs emerging from the haystack she pales>

No way was this in the script! [Eek!]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Hold on Brian, they're right here in Joe's other shoe (rolls down window sticking his head outside), Hay, is it getting dark out already?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
I said .... sighs, serenely

Goodness Brian, the car suddenly seems to have got its second wind... doesn't seem to be making half such heavy work of it now!

Bugs on glass???

Hey, are you all right back there, donkey? You're unusually quiet!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
# Turns music down again #

she's a goddess on a highway, a goddess in a car
a goddess going faster than she's ever gone before
she's a goddess on a highway, a goddess in a car
a goddess going faster than she's ever gone before ...

*puzzled*
You what?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Sees car dissapearing slowly in the distance*

Never catch up with that sheep at this rate

*Picks up moped*

Thank goodness I did motorbike mechanics at nightschool

*Proceeds to make minor repairs to machine*
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
How far is it to Bethlehem, anyway? Not very far? Are you sure we're on the right route? I'm sure the sign there said Bognor Regis, but I may have been mistaken.
 
Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
(The Tour bus continues to hurtle on its misguided way. Amidst the sleeping animals, unWise men and spare Lap Dancers who were Left Behind ( [Ultra confused] ) when the Harley Davidsons set off, a solitary radar screen glows in the dark. Of the kind seen most often in Wacky Races, it show a series of moving blobs indicating the various cast members' locations. Out in front is Brian's Skoda. A smaller blob shows a shepherd's moped and Fairy G. A small red blob nearby indicates Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep. A wobbly blob near Nazareth is Joseph, next to a teeny tiny blob which is his tax form. A stationary blob marks the Camel Driver and his herd in a weekend layby. The Wise Harley Davidsons are nowhere to be seen. The Tour Bus has a flamingo coloured blob to itself, which is rapidly fading from the wrong corner of the screen.)
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Brian, could you at least turn on the lights please, I know it seems to be brighter than usual, but the law requires that lights come on at a certain time after the official sunset?
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
*Passes Mary the map*

We're going right here. That's the only Bethlehem I know.
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Oh s%^&, thanks donkey.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Fairy Godmother grabs hold of unconscious even lowlier shepherd and straps him on back of moped*

Right, lets get this show on the road

*Sets off to follow the car at high speed*

That sheep is dead meat when I catch up with it

You Ok back there?
 
Posted by Baby Jesus (# 3729) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
A donkey. A $^@!&# donkey. Yo, bro!

*pokes the boring, good twin*

*gradually wakens from sweetly sleeping due to incessant whining of Evil Twin - sorry, Cyril. Out of consideration for darling mummy, resists the temptation to stretch.

*sigh* Cyril dear, yes, I know I'm omnipotent, but I really don't think that laying on luxury transport as my first miracle would be the very best start to my important ministry. Why don't you just try and get some rest, and give mummy dearest a bit of peace for once? You can be nice, you know - go on, try it...

*mutters under breath* I might just start practising turning stuff into wine though. Never know when that might be a useful trick. Might keep Cyril happy that way too...
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Oh dear.. I was thinking more of... here actually...

Donkey, can you navigate please? Throws map book to donkey I think you turn left just here!
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Let me see that map. Well, it does say Bethlehem, and I don't know many foreign languages, so, yeah, that must be where it is, turn up the volume Brian, let's all sing!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Sorry can't look, I'm driving, did you mean that left right ...... there.

Oops.
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3, who had fallen asleep while munching hay, suddenly awakes, looks around, and begins chewing cud.]

Baaa.

*sheep plop*

[Sheep 3 settles comfortably onto the seat and stares out the window.]

Baaaa.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
No... here.... no, left just here... I mean...

Decides just to give up. After all, Joseph doesn't listen when she tries to help navigate either? What is it with men and navigation? helps herself to another wine gum and sits back to admire the scenery.
 
Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Let me see that map. Well, it does say Bethlehem, and I don't know many foreign languages, so, yeah, that must be where it is, turn up the volume Brian, let's all sing!

Lickle Donkey, Lickle Donkey [Big Grin]

[ 15. December 2002, 11:04: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Hold on, if we go right just after the next stop light, turn right at the next Jerusalem Junction, we'll be back on track. See, my ears are twitchin' and they know just where to go! And they say that way!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Heaves herself round in the seat - a task in itself! - and scratches the donkey behind the ears

Well done, have a carrot!
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*A vision in purple whizzes past the car doing a ton and weaving smoothly between the camels and assorted traffic and animals on the road*

Good things customised mopeds [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

*As Fairy Godmother zooms into the distance you can vaguely seen the outline of a shepherd who has given up the will to struggle*

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[sees petrol station in the distance]

Regardless - I need petrol. Get your money out Mary.

[pulls up to pump, climbs out the car and starts filling the tank]
 
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on :
 
[waking up and looking around dazedly, then grabbing on for dear life]
And my mother said shepherding was a safe occupation!!!!!! Aieeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Excuse me one minute. I don't like to appear ungrateful or anything, but... I mean, you were going this way anyway... How about I pay half? Or two thirds (me and the donkey?). Do they do any free gifts with the petrol?
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 sniffs and blinks as a moped races past, recognizes the scent of Fairy Godmother, and lurches over the Donkey and into the front seat, attempting to escape.]

Baaaaaaaaaaa. Baaaaaaaaaaaaa!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Free gifts, are you joking. You'll pay the full tank or you, the donkey, the sheep and the luggage are staying right here.
 
Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
<Whistling happily. This is in no way connected with the hip flask that Fairy Godmother left behind in her hurry to get out of the haystack>

All together now...

[Yipee]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(Donkey happily crunches on his carrot, looks over to see the sheep, and offers half) He humms crunchily offering Mary the other ear to scratch.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Looks longingly at her luggage; thinks about the fact that she hasn't a clue where she is, and if the donkey's carrying her it won't be able to map-read; remembers she needs to get to the Plaza in time to meet Joseph. Smiles serenely at Brian

Ok then. But maybe we could do a deal on the sheep!
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
[waking up and looking around dazedly, then grabbing on for dear life]
And my mother said shepherding was a safe occupation!!!!!! Aieeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Wheeeeeeeeee!!! You OK back there?
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
If you're willing to pay for the cleaning bill for the sheep then you can have it - deal done and dusted - now go pay - the poor chap inside is getting impatient.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Donkey spits carrot pieces and donkey spit all over Brian, WHAT!?!?!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary shrugs... she doesn't half pick 'em.... and goes on in to pay for the petrol. Still, it's on Joseph's card, so that still leaves the cash for a bit of last-minute shopping in Bethlehem whilst waiting for him to arrive
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Dusts carrot off jacket and glares at donkey]

Come on Mary, we need to get going.

[Starts engine]

*under breath*Women, they take forever! [Disappointed]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
If you're willing to pay for the cleaning bill for the sheep then you can have it - deal done and dusted

Hmmm... that wasn't quite what I meant, actually Brian! I thought we might just leave the sheep here as a, well a deposit! I hear they like sheep in Wales. It'd make a bit more room for the donkey too.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(Grins sheepishly) Sorry, I just hope she got me somethin' in there.
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
You never did study geography, did you Mary?

We're not in Wales. They don't have Romans there yet. *I* should know.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Smiles serenely at Brian

Ooops!
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
(Grins sheepishly) Sorry, I just hope she got me somethin' in there.

I wonder what kind of donkey treats are available in a petrol station? [Eek!]
 
Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
*goes VERY quiet and VERY still, alongside the boring twin that isn't moving either*
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 notices that it is raining and reconsiders need to escape; being a Palestinian sheep, she isn't much used to rain. She clambers back into the rear seat, next to the hay bale.]

Baa.

*munch*
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Fairy Godmothers screeches to a halt on the outskirts of Bethlehem - dust cloud behind her*

Right now to catch me a sheep

*Rolls up sleeves, unstraps shepherd from back of moped and lays him in the road*

Just lie there whilst I does a bit of tinkering
 
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on :
 
[tapping Fairy Godmother on the shoulder]
(shouting over the rushing wind)Er... wasn't that the car back at the gas station we just passed?
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Places car in second, and wheelspins out of garage, leaving a cloud of dust]

# Turns stereo back on #

Lemme hear ya say yeah! (wow!)
Lemme hear ya say yeah! (wow!)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ,no ,no, no there's no limit!
no, no, no ,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no there's no limit!
No no limits, we'll reach for the sky!
No valley to deep. No mountain too high.


yee haaaa!
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Here you go, Donkey.. a man round the side of the service station there came up to me and asked me if I wanted to buy some grass so I got it for you. Doesn't look much like grass to me, but he assured me it was best quality. Hope that's OK.

Smiles her sweet and innocent smile at the donkey and passes a brown paper bag over into the back seat
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

Don't you think you're going just a little too fast?
 
Posted by Baby Jesus (# 3729) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
*goes VERY quiet and VERY still, alongside the boring twin that isn't moving either*

*well-behaved twin heaves a big sigh of relief, hoping that Cyril doesn't notice, and settles down for a bit more sleep

[Snore]
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Here you go, Donkey.. a man round the side of the service station there came up to me and asked me if I wanted to buy some grass so I got it for you. Doesn't look much like grass to me, but he assured me it was best quality. Hope that's OK.

Smiles her sweet and innocent smile at the donkey and passes a brown paper bag over into the back seat

This was on my props table? Alright! Wonder if there is more about? [Wink]
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
[tapping Fairy Godmother on the shoulder]
(shouting over the rushing wind)Er... wasn't that the car back at the gas station we just passed?

Sorry down there - yes it was but we're going to catch us a sheep

Fancy Lancashire hot pot for dinner tonight?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

Don't you think you're going just a little too fast?

The babies are both sweetly sleeping and not stirring... which in itself is a miracle for little Cyril. I'd hate anything to disturb their comfortable sleeping and deep slumbering.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Just looks like a bunch of weeds to me, tastes funny too...but Hay, look over there, is that the lights of Bethlehem, or am I just seeing things?
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
*Locates another brown paper bag...*

I wonder if the Director would like to share? A little backstage tranquility would be way cool.
[Cool]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Flies past a road sign]

code:
A666

Bethlehem 5
Herod's Palace 15
Egypt 6921.38492


 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Using her advanced mechanics skills and with help of her magic wand the Fairy Godmother constructs a roadblock bearing the sign "STOP"

OK Shepherd get ready to grab that sheep
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(Immediately asks) Are we there yet? I'm getting a little hungry just now. Brownies perhaps! Hay, that stuff would be great mixed in with some brownies, let me just look in Joe's suitcase here...
(Donkey opens suitcase and rummages inside, begins to throw things all over car..)
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
The BVM sighs with relief at the sight of the road sign. They are on the right route after all. She had been a little worried that the nice young man might be leading her a little astray. Suddenly the sounds of "ickle donkey" once again herald the arrival of a message from Joseph

U THERE YET?
JUST LOCKING UP SHOP
FORMS FILLED - MOSTLY
HAD TO GUESS AT VITAL STATS NOW!
LUV 2 JES AND CYRIL
JOE
PS - GET ME A BEER IN
 
Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
*Locates another brown paper bag...*

I wonder if the Director would like to share? A little backstage tranquility would be way cool.
[Cool]

<Emerging from Google Search smelling suspiciously of something the donkey left behind>

She would indeed! [Big Grin]
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
(I have brownies. Trade you for the Pringles in Joseph's shoe in the suitcase.)
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Sees an *well, what's the politically correct way of putting this?* Fairy Godmother holding a stop sign in the middle of the road]

[Stops in a cloud of dust]

Wait a minute - Fairy Godmothers aren't real.

[ 14. December 2002, 22:33: Message edited by: Director ]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
JOE DARLING
ALMOST THERE
DONKEY HAD SURPRISING TURN OF SPEED
MET A NICE GUY CALLD BRIAN
U'D LIKE HIM
CAN'T W8 2 C U
LUV BVM
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
*Locates another brown paper bag...*

I wonder if the Director would like to share? A little backstage tranquility would be way cool.
[Cool]

<Emerging from Google Search smelling suspiciously of something the donkey left behind>

She would indeed! [Big Grin]

OK. Grab some snacks from the backstage bar.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Sure SM. Here ya go!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Eek!]

Mary - I need confirmation that there is a Fairy on the road. Have I been driving too long? And all you can do is play with that Mobile! [brick wall]
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[See's an *well, what's the politically correct way of putting this?* Fairy Godmother holding a stop sign in the middle of the road]

[Stops in a cloud of dust]

Wait a minute - Fairy Godmothers aren't real.

This one is sunshine

OK - we're looking for a woolly animal with the brain of a pea
 
Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Sees an *well, what's the politically correct way of putting this?* Fairy Godmother holding a stop sign in the middle of the road]

[Stops in a cloud of dust]

Wait a minute - Fairy Godmothers aren't real.

<Whispers from wings>

Psst! Remember what it said in 'Peter Pan?!' [Wink]

[ 14. December 2002, 22:32: Message edited by: Director ]
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3, who has once again dozed off while eating, disappears beneath a huge pile of stuff the Donkay threw out of the suitcases.]

*silence*
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
I thought it was meant to be Joseph that had dreams, and he aint even here! [Disappointed]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Fairy ... meet Brian.
Brian... meet Fairy. [Big Grin]

There, will that do? Of course she's a real imaginary Fairy Godmother, Brian. Don't you read your Bible? [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
I can see one! I can see one! Wow, there's a lot of them around! Wings, halos, and everything. Do ya think they grant wishes too?
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
hmmmmmm

How much will you give us for it Fairy?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
OK this won't take long

Opens car door and grabs sheep by throat

Brian - I need a hand with this creature.

You take it's rear end for me there'a a good lad
 
Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.

Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
I can see one! I can see one! Wow, there's a lot of them around! Wings, halos, and everything. Do ya think they grant wishes too?

I do give wishes - at the moment I wish you'd give this sheep a push out the car
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Name your price.
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 is suddenly awakened by being grabbed.]

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Name your price.

3 wishes and a ride on that moped
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
What about 4 wishes and a ride on the moped?
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[As she is shoved out of the car by the Donkey, she manages to slash Brian with one of her sharp hooves.]

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.

Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.

sigh....she would benefit from a bag of those weeds.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Name your price.

3 wishes and a ride on that moped
3 wishes, a ride on the moped and an elastoplast
 
Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[Cue scene of Hot rod with Joe Camel painted on the side driving across the desert trailed by a plume of dust]

Sheesh, where's the infernal bus and the pack of Harley's? I hope they remembered to turn left at Ararat ...

Oh well, what the hell. They'll get there when they get there.

[turns up the volume on the stereo as yet another ZZTop anthem swells]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Blinkin' sheep, anyone got a plaster?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.

Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.

Mary sighs serenely to herself If God is an Englishman, his progeny don't half have a strange way of expressing themselves. Still I am sure we will grow to understand each other, sweet Cyril and I, once she is born. She's probably just getting excited [Big Grin]
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Blinkin' sheep, anyone got a plaster?

Sneaks one from behind the curtains...
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[In all the confusion, Sheep 3 makes a mad dash for it and races off down the road.]

BAAAAAA

BAAAAAAA

BAAAAAAAAA
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Blinkin' sheep, anyone got a plaster?

*Waves wand*

One plaster (Mr Men)

Now 4 wishes, a ride and lamb curry?
 
Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.

Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.

Mary sighs serenely to herself If God is an Englishman, his progeny don't half have a strange way of expressing themselves. Still I am sure we will grow to understand each other, sweet Cyril and I, once she is born. She's probably just getting excited [Big Grin]
Translated into old-fart-parentese...

I'm going to have a Glock, which is a powerful and lovely gun, to take out every one of them damn animals, and I don't particularly care for the name "Cyril", so change it while you still have a chance.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
This is SO much better! (Donkey stretches out luxuriously over the entire back seat.) I just need a blanket to get comfy here. That was my wish, lots of room, no more sheep! Thanks Fairy Godmother!
 
Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[hot rod still driving in the desert with plume of dust trailing behind. A sheep darts out in front of the car and car swerves madly to miss it, spinning out and raising minor dust storm]

DAFT SHEEP!

[Hot rod fires up and roars on...]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Now 4 wishes, a ride and lamb curry?

Deal.

[Tries to stem blood and apply plaster but it's not happening ...]

No first aider tonight? - can someone tie down the sheep until I get this under control please?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
I don't particularly care for the name "Cyril", so change it while you still have a chance.

You know, I have a funny feeling that the baby isn't too happy with the name Cyril. I tried to tell Joseph it didn't seem right.
Serenely strokes tummy

Lavinia it is!
[Big Grin]
 
Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Oh I don't think so. Where's the bladder? *kick* And the lungs? *kick* And this sciatic nerve looks like a nice, comfortable place to catch some zzzzzzz.

[ 14. December 2002, 22:53: Message edited by: Jesus' evil twin ]
 
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on :
 
[Hopping off the moped]
Hey! Get back here sheep!!! I've got to get you back to the flock!!!
[Even Lowlier Shepherd chases off after the sheep, disappearing into the distance.]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Oh NO! Brian's bleeding, someone help! Medics, 911, Alchemist, Help! (Donkey faints at sight of blood)
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Mary has a mobile, someone phone for some help, please.
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Tries to stem blood and apply plaster but it's not happening ...]

No first aider tonight? - can someone tie down the sheep until I get this under control please?

(impassively)....I've called First-aider and left a voice mail message......
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Ouch! Ooh! Agh! Sitting in this tiny car seems to have given me a touch of cramp. I'll just stand up and stretch my legs while you lot are playing with that sheep. Now, where did I put my mobile?

JOE
NEARLY THERE
JUST A BIT HELD UP
WOT A JRNY !
LUV BVM
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Oh NO! Brian's bleeding, someone help! Medics, 911, Alchemist, Help! (Donkey faints at sight of blood)

(toneless and mercilessly) And I certainly don't take on the role of a veterinarian! [Frown]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Oh NO! Brian's bleeding, someone help! Medics, 911, Alchemist, Help! (Donkey faints at sight of blood)

(toneless and mercilessly) And I certainly don't take on the role of a veterinarian! [Frown]
What in the blazes do *I* need a vet for?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Sighs serenely again... why is life never simple?

I'd ring 999 but I think my mobile's out of credit.
Don't worry, Brian. I was in the Guides and did my first aider badge. I rather liked the blue uniform, you know. Hold on.

Modestly rips off the lower half of her skirt and uses it as a bandage for Brian's injury

There you are.. now can we get on please?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Realises that she is now sheepless as well as shepherless*

Come back here you blasted animal - mint sauce, mint sauce!

No good - can't run after them

Must deal with that cut on Brian's face [Wink]

Want a whiskey

*Searches fo hip flask under petticoats*
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
What in the blazes do *I* need a vet for?

The donkey's fainted. After having been chided by the Equity Director regarding exceeding the scope of my contract and job description, and after having not received a clarifying answer regarding filling in for First-aider, sorry - can't help except to pass you more bandages from the props table. You're in a DIY situation here. [Frown]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Fairy - first wish - can you heal that cut?
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
Clarifying, I mean the Equity Deputy....whatever. Ho hum.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Fairy - first wish - can you heal that cut?

That's easy

*waves wand over Brian's face*

Ooops sorry - did I poke you in the eye? [Embarrassed]
 
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Fairy - first wish - can you heal that cut?

That's easy

*waves wand over Brian's face*

Ooops sorry - did I poke you in the eye? [Embarrassed]

[Killing me] [Killing me] [Angel]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
You just cannot get the staff these days. [Whispers] Who's line is it again?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Excuse me, this IS a play, you know.. and I DO have to be in Bethlehem in time to meet Joseph and get changed for dinner at the Plaza. I've already administered first aid and it's a bit draughty hanging around here in this dress, so COULD WE GET A MOVE ON PLEASE?????
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
You just cannot get the staff these days. [Whispers] Who's line is it again?

Don't blame me sunshine - I'm only doing my bit to pad this out until the rest of the cast come back from the pub/lunch/bed
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Excuse me, this IS a play, you know.. and I DO have to be in Bethlehem in time to meet Joseph and get changed for dinner at the Plaza. I've already administered first aid and it's a bit draughty hanging around here in this dress, so COULD WE GET A MOVE ON PLEASE?????

Call that first aid? You've blindfolded the guy not bandaged his cut.... [Help]

Don't be such a wingebag [Mad]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
In the absense of any better ideas how about we all get in the car again and go find Mary's accomodation? Where are you kipping up Fairy?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
In the absense of any better ideas how about we all get in the car again and go find Mary's accomodation? Where are you kipping up Fairy?

The Plaza - nothing but the best for me

Hear it's mighty busy though - all this census business means rooms are now folly booked in this part of town
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Good idea, Brian. You're cleverer than you look.
Now, I am sure Joseph said the Plaza...
I wonder where that would be.
Look out for the biggest, poshest hotel in all of Bethlehem. He said nothing but the best for me! [Love]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(Donkey wakes up in front of the Plaza) Now we're talkin'! This is more like it! (Donkey sits up grinning) as they pull up to the valets.
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Slaps donkey around the face]

You're still 5 miles from the plaza dumb beast ... well at least the concussion will wear off eventually.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Slaps donkey around the face]

You're still 5 miles from the plaza dumb beast ... well at least the concussion will wear off eventually.

Don't think that's concussion mate - more like knocked out man [Wink]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Thanks, I think [Paranoid] . (Looks around the back seat, finds some more brownies hiding under Joe's socks).
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
OK - everyone aboard, we're off to Bethlehem.
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
OK - everyone aboard, we're off to Bethlehem.

Thanks Brian

Now turn that music UP
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Turns key]

[a chug, a chug, a chug, a chug, phat]


em ... we have a small problem.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
At last!

Mary takes one last stretch and then manouevres herself back into the front seat of the Skoda, leaning over to scratch the donkey behind the ears again as a gesture of reconciliation, sweet girl that she is.

Take me to the Plaza!
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Turns key]

[a chug, a chug, a chug, a chug, phat]


em ... we have a small problem.

Nothing a fairy can't fix

[Smile]
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Nothing a fairy can't fix



[ 15. December 2002, 11:16: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Brian, what's up? Please tell me that strange noise was just your music!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Go ahead then fairy - give it your best.
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Em, the car wont start - looks like we may have to all bunk up in the car, way out here in the middle of the cold arabian/welsh desert. Not much fun for pregnant women or donkeys. I feel for sheep 3, poor chap.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Hmmmm.... my mother's told me about men like you! [Angel]
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Gets out of car and lifts the bonnet (hood for the US contingent)*

Right what have we here?

Dipstick - oil level. Could do better

Spark plugs - dry

Radiator - hot, very hot but has water

*Rolls up sleeves and reaches into engine*

Give it another try Brian
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
I could jump out and give it a little, kick in the A** or sumthing, Brian?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Looks up from engine*

Did you say you felt for that sheep? [Frown]

*Wonders what she's got herself into*
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Thanks for the offer donkey, please treat my vehicle with some level of respect.

[yawn]

[a chug, a chug, a chug, a chug, BANG!]

[a large cloud of smoke rises engulfing the Fairy Godmother]


oops.
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
TEXT FROM JOSEPH

WILL BE THERE SOON
TAXI JUST ARRIVED
SMASHING LIMO - U'D LUV IT
SLEEP WELL
C U 2MORROW
LUV JOE
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*wipes soot from face with arm*

No good I'm afraid - think it's the big end

Garage job
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
[Mad] [Mad] [Mad]
Just wait till I see that Joseph Carpenter.
I'll give him a piece of my mind!
Limo, indeed!!!!!
[Mad] [Mad] [Mad]
And I'm stuck here in a field in the middle of nowhere with a donkey, a fairy godmother and....
and.... hmmm, a nice young man.
Oh well
Skoda it is, then.
But just remember I'm pure! [Angel] No funny business!
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Your mobile is definitely out of credit Mary?
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
Just let the master handle it! (Donkey walks up to the car. Positions himself accortdingly and lets fly with both heels) Did it work?
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Right - make room I need my sleep after this lark

[Snore]
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Your mobile is definitely out of credit Mary?

Hmmm, yes. Afraid so! [Big Grin] (oops, meant to say [Embarrassed] [Angel] )

I think we may be stuck here for the night.
Maybe in the morning the Fairy Godmother could walk into Bethlehem to fetch help.

[ 15. December 2002, 11:28: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Just let the master handle it! (Donkey walks up to the car. Positions himself accortdingly and lets fly with both heels) Did it work?

*Knocks fairy godmother into car and on top of Brian*

Sorry dear - looks like it's staying here tonight then
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
# Throws stereo on to keep spirits up #

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice ...

 
Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
<shuffles on, stage right>

Sotto voce: Is it just sheep and donkeys again tonight or can I have a go?

Er.... moo.
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
So, if we're staying the night (smacks lips) who's got dinner? I'm game for anything anyone would care to create! A little pasta maybe, manna in a pinch, or just some stone ground bread?
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary very serenely smiles and adjusts the seat to a reclining position

Goodnight Donkey
Goodnight Fairy
Goodnight Brian

TEXT 2 JOE

SORRY
CAN'T REPLY
OUT OF CREDIT
MARY
 
Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
ah well ...

flicks stereo off

time to settle down donkey!

night night

* what a day! *

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
 
Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
<shuffles off again, stage right>
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary serenely drops off to sleep, hoping against hope that Jesus and Cyr..Lavinia will give her a peaceful night's sleep and... oh please... not force her to get up to answer the call of nature. She settles down to sweet dreams of the Plaza tomorrow
 
Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
[Snore]
 
Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(Donkey yawns, turns around three times in the back seat. Lays down. Pulls Joe's robe over him for the night)
Goodnight all, sleep tight, don't let the fairies bite....
 
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
(Donkey yawns, turns around three times in the back seat. Lays down. Pulls Joe's robe over him for the night)
Goodnight all, sleep tight, don't let the fairies bite....

I heard that donkey [Mad]

[Snore] [Snore]
 
Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Mary serenely drops off to sleep, hoping against hope that Jesus and Cyr..Lavinia will give her a peaceful night's sleep and... oh please... not force her to get up to answer the call of nature. She settles down to sweet dreams of the Plaza tomorrow

[Snigger]

*kick*
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Meanwhile Sheep 3 has easily escaped Even Lowlier Shepherd because the shepherds were having a Christmas party.]

Baaaaaaa.

*sheep plop*

[Sheep 3 dimly remembers that she left behind a nice bale of hay, and begins retracing her path.]

Baaa.

*trudge*
*trudge*

Baaa.
 
Posted by Passer-by 3 (# 3711) on :
 
[Enters stage right, hurriedly. Exits stage left looking frantically at watch]
 
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 
(cos it has to be done...)
ickle donkey ickle donkey
on the dusty road
got to keep on plodding onward
with your heavy load
ring out those bells tonight
Bethlehem Bethlehem...


follows behind playing lickle donkey on her recorder!

(yes i know they arent' on a donkey but hey!)
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 wonders about this funny person with wings who is making strange sounds and following her, but continues on her way.]

*trudge, trudge*

Baaa.

*trudge, trudge*
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
*trudge*

Baa

*trudge*
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 hears a buzzing noise.]

Baaaa.

[A bee_of_good_cheer buzzes past]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

*trudge*
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 finds a brownie and eats it.]

*munch*

Baa.
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
*trudge*
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 begins to feel a bit odd and stops trudging.]

Baaa..a...a
 
Posted by Techie1 (# 3688) on :
 
The lights slowly dim.

Whew... is that scene finally over... seemed to drag on and on and on...
 
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 stops, settles down]

Baa...a......a..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
[Snore] [Snore] [Snore] [Snore]
 
Posted by Joseph (# 3666) on :
 
Leans back in limo, flute of champagne in hand.

I hate travelling. Such stress. Might send another text to Mary...

HEY BABE
NICE LIMO, SHME BOUT INCAR TV - NO SATLITE!
(N NO PRNGLZ IN MINIBAR. HAVNG DORITOS INSTD.)
HOPE ALLZ GD

Now I'm sure there was something I needed to do.

Looks at glass.

Nah. Mary will have dealt with anything really important.

*glug*

Driver, can we go a little faster please?
 
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*plays 'One Wild Night' by Bon Jovi, but quietly because of hangover...
 
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
Not another flaming synopsis

More rhyming couplets I can't think
So for the story follow this link.

But here's the gist of last night's plot.
Mary hit the road, but Joseph did not.

Mary went off upon a donkey
At this point the plot went wonkey

She got a lift with a naughty boy
To make better time her cunning ploy.

But his car has broken down
On the way to Bethlehem town.

The story's gone right off the rails.
It seems Bethlehem's a town in Wales!
 


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