Thread: FUCKING SLC!! ARRRGGGGGH Board: Hell / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Macrina (# 8807) on :
 
How fucking incompetent are you, you utter cretins of incredible stupidity?

Oh I want to pay my loan off? But the balance on your website isn't actually correct and I have to ring you, from FUCKING NEW ZEALAND, to get my actual balance because you haven't managed to GET INTO THE FUCKING MILLENNIUM and HAVE A FUCKING EMAIL ADDRESS and THEN you bitch and whine about how overseas students aren't contacting you?

So yeah I ring you and get some poor benighted minion who gives me my 'final settlement figure' which is definitely okay and includes all interest charged up until the 17th of July but no you don't let souls escape from your cage of Cthulic chaos that easily no, I pay the fucking balance off to the penny and yet next time I log in there's twenty fucking quid on my balance. Thanks I paid that in fucking currency charges to pay the figure you told me was actually correct in the fucking first place you incompetent sons of bitches.

(And no before any of you get smart and tell me it came off the sum I transferred to the UK I put it in a UK account and THEN paid it off, because again THE FUCKING SLC DON'T ACCEPT PAYMENTS FROM OVERSEAS ACCOUNTS BECAUSE THEY ENJOY BEING OBSTRUCTIVE FUCKING BASTARDS.

So I pay that too, overpay it in fact, and then as your website indicates I should I call the UK AGAIN from NZ to get you to cancel my direct debit. 'Oh no, we can't do that, the money hasn't appeared yet.' I'm sorry what? YOUR WEBSITE shows MY BALANCE as -0.21p but somehow the information YOUR WEBSITE tells me isn't actually the information that YOUR COMPANY has? What the actual fuck? Oh yes and even if it had appeared apparently I shouldn't call (contrary to the information on your website) and it all happens automatically. Pardon my skcepticism on that front.

So I check regularly throughout the whole of July, having paid this off on the 9th I was under the mistaken impression you might somehow acknowledge somewhere that I'd actually managed to pay it off, you know, with those letters you love to send 2nd class to NZ that take so long to get there that you send a second letter threatening me for not answering the first before the first one even arrives?

But no, a letter to give me information I want that I haven't paid in blood for? That's too hard, my balance shows as -0.21p for the whole of the month and so I log on to HSBC - see a UK company who have online services and email addresses and everything - see that's how you do business you fetid pile of space wasters - and cancel my direct debit myself.

Then I log in this morning and SOMEHOW - and I really do want to know HOW you've done this, you've managed to charge me 1.71 interest on -0.21p. How the actual fuck do you get 1.71 from -0.21 with a fucking interest rate of 0.9% what the fuck are you people even doing? Do you have even the slightest clue how to tie your own shoelaces????

Fuck you and the fucking government policies you rode in on.
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
[Killing me]

Sorry, but this is just too typical.

[Killing me]
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I'm gonna assume you are not talking about Salt Lake City.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
I should not be laughing at this. But I am.

Not because it's actually funny, mind you. It sucks. I know.

I've been there. The nouns were different, but Same Damn Story.

Stick it to 'em where it hurts. Make the poor minions so tired of you they turn on their bosses and help you to spite The Rules.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
(Finally clueing in) Y'know, tragedy plus really fine prose equals Comedy Gold.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I'm gonna assume you are not talking about Salt Lake City.
Looky looky.
 
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Thanks for the link Wesley, I was wondering how Sri Lankan Cricket got so bad.
 
Posted by alienfromzog (# 5327) on :
 
Always remember to cancel your direct debit. You can do that instantly if you have online banking.

I always find with awkward companies that gets their attention...

[Biased]

AFZ

[ 03. August 2016, 05:05: Message edited by: alienfromzog ]
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
They're not any easier to deal with for universities, if that's any consolation.
 
Posted by betjemaniac (# 17618) on :
 
I once rang them to find out when I would have finished repaying, and was given a date 12 months hence.

"Give us a ring a month or so beforehand" they said, "and we can start to put the blocks on and make sure you finish when you're supposed to."

11 months down the line I rang again.

"Oh, said the chap on the end of the phone, you actually paid it off 2.5 years ago. Thanks for telling us though, we can stop your payments now."

"But last year I was told I had a year to run?!?"

Genuine response: "that may very well be, but there again it wasn't me you spoke to and who told you that was it?"

The one consolation in the whole sorry story was that the absolutely bloody massive cheque they sent was an unexpected windfall.

Idiots, the lot of them.
 
Posted by betjemaniac (# 17618) on :
 
And that's not even going into the kafkaesque nightmare of a system that annually sends out your balance one year in arrears and even then, as my experience shows, doesn't necessarily pretend to the accuracy of that balance.
 
Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Macrina:
...I log on to HSBC - see a UK company who have online services and email addresses and everything - see that's how you do business you fetid pile of space wasters
It comes to something when HSBC are being held up as a paragon of virtue. HSBC (in the UK at least) are one of the most inept, unhelpful wastes of spaces that can possibly exist. One of my biggest regrets in recent years was to open an account with them before I emigrated to Canada. If SLC make them look good then I shudder to think how bad they must be.
 
Posted by Macrina (# 8807) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Oscar the Grouch:
quote:
Originally posted by Macrina:
...I log on to HSBC - see a UK company who have online services and email addresses and everything - see that's how you do business you fetid pile of space wasters
It comes to something when HSBC are being held up as a paragon of virtue. HSBC (in the UK at least) are one of the most inept, unhelpful wastes of spaces that can possibly exist. One of my biggest regrets in recent years was to open an account with them before I emigrated to Canada. If SLC make them look good then I shudder to think how bad they must be.
HSBC have actually been pretty good with me. I managed to lock myself out my account a while ago and their support guy rang me from the UK on my NZ mobile at his expense and talked me through how to reset everything and sort out a new app to log in. The SLC on the other hand are beyond superlatives in shitness.
 
Posted by Martin60 (# 368) on :
 
Always, ALWAYS write maximally detailed LETTERS of all events in chronological order to the present, offering your understanding, asking for confirmation and explanation, to the penny.

As an accountant for an airline in a previous life I once had to work out pilot logic and compare it with my own and ask them to choose. Funnily enough, even to their own multiple hurt, they chose mine. It did worry me thereafter about them establishing take-off altitude (particularly when another at the same airport flew right in to a radio beacon as the navigation compu'a he'd set said he was 2000 feet higher than he was, his FINAL direction/destination finding was spot on admittedly) and fuel consumption based on return journeys against the oscillating jetstream. Don't get me going on how I as a mere accountant couldn't possibly be right when I told them the crates of young turkeys would mercifully die of anoxia before they froze in the non-pressurized cargo hold.

Just last week took delivery of my 86 year old mother with insufficient medication, despite the re-order point being two weeks before. Got JUST the response I wanted from the new medical centre, who'd said registration would take a while, with a hand delivered letter.

Just stick to the facts. In meticulous detail. 'Is my understanding, do you concur?'. My favourite, ALL TIME question in all situations, dealing with doctors, lawyers, all sorts of clever people, is 'What would you do in my position?'. Variants are, 'What would you do if it was your mother, teeth, money, car?'.
 
Posted by Qoheleth. (# 9265) on :
 
My variant: "What do you advise me to do next?" <to sort out your pile of ordure>.
 
Posted by anoesis (# 14189) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Qoheleth.:
My variant: "What do you advise me to do next?" <to sort out your pile of ordure>.
I have ended more than one letter (including one to NZ's student-loan wallahs), with: "I look forward to hearing of your plans for resolving this situation."
 
Posted by Caz... (# 3026) on :
 
I refuse to deal with them over the phone. I will only deal by email (I said I would only make a payment when they did it over email and lo and behold suddenly they had email and ever since I have point blank refused to deal over the phone).

It's amazing how much more competent they get when forced to put stuff in writing.
 
Posted by Talitha (# 5085) on :
 
AFZ, cancelling direct debits works with some companies, but the SLC are allowed to deduct payments directly from your paycheque, so the power is all with them.
I think it took me about a year after my loan was paid off, and many many phone calls, to get them to stop taking payments.
Then, when they finally acknowledged they'd taken too much, they asked for bank account details to refund the overpayment to. So I supplied bank details, and they said they couldn't accept them because they were the same as the bank details of another of their customers.
That customer being my husband, who I share a joint account with. Evidently no other pair of graduates in the whole country ever got married and got a joint bank account.

[ 28. August 2016, 22:25: Message edited by: Talitha ]
 


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