Ship of Fools: Real Men Ride Women

Thread: Real Men Ride Women Board: Hell / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=005625

Posted by anoesis (# 14189) on :

The people of Australia are unfortunate enough to have had four changes of Prime Minister in the last eight years. The people of New Zealand are equally unfortunate to have had zero. Anyway, our very wealthy and (apparently) esteemed Prime Minister has two grown children, the younger of whom is somewhat prone to saying or doing inflammatory things and then posting them on social media. Prime Minister’s response to these episodes is usually something along the lines of: He is an adult, and not an extension of myself/you cannot apply Prime Ministerial standards to a twenty-something/he needs to be able to live his own life, and the media need to leave him alone.

Up until now I have thought that this young squit was just our antipodean equivalent of an overindulged, entitled, frat-boy and felt faintly sorry for him, reflecting on the fact that it will be trivially easy for anyone at all to dig up evidence of his larval stupidity and feed it back to him - or his kids - when he’s forty or fifty.

Until today. Because the title of this thread is the substance of his latest offering to social media. A video of three men riding bikes up a hill, who were treated to his considered opinion, yelled from the window of his car. “Real men ride women”. (Dad’s PR department got to it fairly quick and it’s been taken down from his own feed, but you not before the press got to it - you can view here: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/news/article.cfm?c_id=1501119&objectid=11737059 )

So. To start. On behalf of men, and cyclists, everywhere, you dickhead:

1.) It is not necessary to be heterosexual in order to be a man.
2.) Having a car/driver’s license does not make you a man, nor does any feature of your car enhance or compensate for any masculinity you may or may not have, in any way.
3.) My late father was a cyclist, and had more masculinity in his little fingernail than you have in your whole gelled, waxed, perma-tanned, designer-stubbled, preened and label-adorned body. Should you wish to take anything from his example, you might want to consider: a.) Getting a fucking job, instead of fannying about calling yourself a DJ. Do something manly. Drive a digger. Join a commercial fishing crew. Teach. Nurse. Program computers. Concrete driveways. Do some hard work. Do some useful work. Contribute something. b.) Live within your means, instead of sponging off your parents in your twenties. DJ’ing can be considered a career if and when you can support yourself by doing it. c.) Just grow the fuck up. Boys don’t get to say what real men do.

Now. On behalf of myself - a woman. Only one point, but it’s crucially important if you don’t want to become Donald Trump one day.

Women, unlike bicycles, have agency. They have opinions about when, how, and by whom they want to be ‘ridden’. Real men don’t ‘ride’ them without their explicit consent. Real men, in fact, understand this without needing to be told. Real men get that women are people, not poontang. Real men are not threatened by this idea, not one iota. Fortunately, I have met quite a few real men, which is what enables me to say, You have quite a way to go yet, on your journey to manhood, little squit. And right now, you’re headed in the wrong direction, in your fancy pimped-out car.

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :

What anoesis said.

What a silly little fucktard. Bet he's got a silly little willy as well.

I used to work with a bloke who had a similar attitude to women. He was known, perhaps unkindly, but also perhaps appropriately, as 'Brain Damage'.

IJ

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

I also wonder why there's a group who considers it to be "manly" to force themselves on women. If they had "can only get laid by forcing themselves on women" tattooed on their foreheads most people would consider that the opposite of true manliness.

And, besides, why can't real men have a (willing) cowgirl?

Posted by Martin60 (# 368) on :

I take it that the cyclists weren't fish?

And why is the sea boiling hot, that's what I'd like to know Alan!?

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

{quote]Key lives with his parents, Prime Minister John Key and wife Bronagh, on nearby St Stephen's Avenue.[/quote]

Real men don't live in their parents' basements, watching porno, playing video games, and only getting out of the house to drive around in sexual inadequacy, deformed personality-compensating personal transportation devices.

Posted by mr cheesy (# 3330) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
I also wonder why there's a group who considers it to be "manly" to force themselves on women. If they had "can only get laid by forcing themselves on women" tattooed on their foreheads most people would consider that the opposite of true manliness.

Too much porn.

NSFW: the following link is an important adult discussion of the issue of men accessing too much porn. Really. There are no pictures.

Hosts, the link below goes to a page that includes the link for the piece I'm suggesting above (ie two clicks needed to get the NFSW content) - I hope this is OK, the piece is worth reading.

http://checkshorturl.com/expand.php?u=http://bit.ly/2eVEicl

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

I think there is a big problem of people like Trump being role models - "If I want pussy I just go and grab some" style. And because he portrays himself as an "alpha-male", as a winner, a success. The fact that he isn't doesn't mean that these messages don't get across to people.

Some of this is promoted by porn (as per Mr Cheesy's link). But there is more to it as well - rather, I think it is a wider cultural issue that porn is a part of. We see it in the move to the political right, which is in essence self-focussed, for what I want, not so concerned about others.

Of course real men are not so concerned about their masculinity that they have to demean others.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

Good post, anoesis.

Let's see:

--Real men ride women.

--Creepy "real man" rides a car.

--Creepy "real man" is intimate with his car?

...in which case, let's hope it's Christine, the live car from the horror film of the same name...

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

The burger was too thick and too small in diameter, making it hard to eat while still getting all the flavors. The pickles looked a bit overpowering, I would have preferred either one pickle only, or just the lettuce and mayo. But those are trivial complaints compared to the shocking way the cook put his hands on the burger over and over. It's perfectly possible to grill, turn and place a burger without touching it. I hope he burned his fingers.

The dumb, jerk in the car? Pffft.

Posted by Hiro's Leap (# 12470) on :

quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
Real men don’t ‘ride’ [women] without their explicit consent.

Where did he say otherwise? His comment was aggressive, immature, douchy and probably homophobic, but "riding" someone doesn't imply rape.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

It doesn't exactly breathe tender, consensual mutual pleasuring either.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

Or acknowledge that women are human beings, not beasts of burden.

Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :

Or that women might like to do the riding. Or that men might also like women to do the riding.

[ 28. October 2016, 20:00: Message edited by: Doc Tor ]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Or that women are something other than a hole in a ticket one punches to aquire enough credit to get a free latte. Or in this case, validation of masculinity.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

Or that the guy in question is not "all that".

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

I've never been to NZ, but it was my impression (perhaps formed by the interests of my friend and his wife, who now live there) that it had a full-on outdoors-y culture, where real men donned lycra at the drop of a hat and cycled the length of both islands, before swimming around them both twice and then rounding it off with a bit of wild camping.

Maybe our friend is feeling a bit inadequate in the face of all this, and found a rather sad and unsympathetic way of expressing his frustration. It all sounds a bit Alan Partridge.

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

He might have said:

quote:
There's a time and a place for cycling; the time is summer, the place is Centre Parks

I couldn't find that in a clip, but here's another good one.

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0