Ship of Fools: Catching a monster fish

Thread: Catching a monster fish Board: The Laugh Judgment / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Simon (# 1) on :

Joke submitted by Bruce, Peter and tom saffell:

A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish."

"Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch."

Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster. The guide said, "Father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch," said the priest. "What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it of course!" said the guide. "You've never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch."

Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary. "Father!"

"It's ok, sister," said the priest. "That's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh, well then what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

"Why, eat it of course! The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a Bitch."

The sister informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for dinner. "I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the friar walked in. "What are you doing, sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the Pope's dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no," said Sister Mary. "It's called a Son of a Bitch fish."

"Really? Oh, well in that case I'll fix up a great meal and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course. Let me know when you've finished cleaning the Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was perfect. The friar had prepared an excellent meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent. The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught the Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.

The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the sister.

The Pope sat silent in disbelief.

And the friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!"

The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his face. "You fuckers are alright!"

[ 13. July 2005, 11:01: Message edited by: Simon ]

Posted by Ian Climacus (# 944) on :

Not funny; not overly offensive.

It seemed too unrealistic and dragged on a bit. And I'm not one for swearing so that probably put me off.

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :

This joke is perhaps a bit older than Rome, though it appears in different guises (for example, the minister who buys Goddamn Ham.) Kids probably would find it hilarious - but it's too exagerrated, unsophisticated, and repetitive to have any laugh value for me. It also is unrealistic, with none of the 'true life' quality that I find appealing in religious jokes. People in such a situation would refer to 'the fish,' not be (as it seems) looking for any opportunity to say the naughty words.

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
This joke is perhaps a bit older than Rome, though it appears in different guises (for example, the minister who buys Goddamn Ham.) Kids probably would find it hilarious - but it's too exagerrated, unsophisticated, and repetitive to have any laugh value for me. It also is unrealistic, with none of the 'true life' quality that I find appealing in religious jokes. People in such a situation would refer to 'the fish,' not be (as it seems) looking for any opportunity to say the naughty words.

I thought it was a hoot. But then I have a puerile sense of humour. So does the Amosling. We both laughed. It's a little offensive, but that's why it's funny.

Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :

Oh yes, same I'm afraid. I think my appreciation of the puerile varies from day to day. Today it's quite high and I briefly regressed to enjoy the holy ppl using the expression 'Son of Bitch'. Also very tickled by the hidden dimension of the Holy Father as someone comfortable with swearing who uses the word 'fucker'.

It's the first time I heard it, and the only thing that prevented me really enjoying it was an expectation that the expression would be somehow applied to the Most Blessed Sacrament or Jesus. [Ultra confused]

Which I would have found extremely offensive.

[ETA: Re the hidden dimension of the Holy Father, I think that's why I find a lot of these jokes funny: when people don't behave as we expect them to behave]

[ 11. July 2005, 11:30: Message edited by: The Coot ]

Posted by dj_ordinaire (# 4643) on :

Now I like that one!

Although although although... I would have enjoyed it more during the pontificate of HLH. BXVI seems just a little too serious for it to work.

Posted by HoosierNan (# 91) on :

HLH? I get BXVI--Benedict the 16th. Is HLH His Late Holiness? If not, whatever do you mean?

Posted by Ricardus (# 8757) on :

Funny - but not quite enough to justify its length.

Posted by Corpus cani (# 1663) on :

Never heard it and laughed like a drain. That's because I'm only twelve and any jokes that are irreverent (without being offensive of course) make me laugh.

Corpus

Posted by Atmospheric Skull (# 4513) on :

I didn't think it was going to be funny, because it went on so long... but the punchline creeps up on you, and the sudden escalation from "son of a bitch" to "fucker" takes you by surprise. Yes, that's quite funny.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

The Vicar of Christ musht have been enjoying too mush wine before ushing dat wordddd... [Razz]

Posted by Back-to-Front (# 5638) on :

quote:
Originally posted by HoosierNan:
HLH? I get BXVI--Benedict the 16th. Is HLH His Late Holiness? If not, whatever do you mean?

Yes, it's his Late Holiness.

Amos, I too found it an absolute hoot, and Coot, I too paused awhile at the repeated and gratuitous use of "Son of a Botch" by all these priests and religious. Nice - and didn't involve sex.

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

Actually the more I think about it, the subtler the humour is. It's all about naivete and knowingness and misapprehension. Maybe we're not so childish after all. [Snigger]

Posted by The Dumb Acolyte (# 1158) on :

I'm not sure it's all that subtle. In the US we would call this a shaggy dog story, though it is fairly short. Much of the humor for me is in the (puerile) repetition of sonuvabitch and hearing the Pope say Fuck.

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :

What is a shaggy dog joke?

My German is no longer much good, but, when it was, I heard jokes of this sort in Germany - where the same 'gag' is repeated again and again. Not my style, but it seemed characteristic of a certain genre.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

My understanding of a "Shaggy Dog Story" is a long rambling joke/story which has repeated themes and with a weak pun at the end. The skill is in the telling, which has to be entertaining and the "hiding" of the tag line.

P

Posted by Richthemoose (# 5362) on :

Mildly amusing, I do agree with the whole "shaggy dog thing". Think it may be better said out loud (would of course depend who told it). Not being catholic I don't really find it that offensive, but then again wouldn't really anyway.

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

Funny, kinda, but WAAAAAY too long.

Posted by starbelly (# 25) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
Funny, kinda, but WAAAAAY too long.

No, I disagree, when actually told (as opposed to read) long jokes with poor endings can be really funny, and a skilled joke-teller can get many laughs on the way to a punchline as well.

Neil

Posted by molitva (# 7859) on :

Hilarious and well told. IMHO the length of it works well, and --in best shaggy dog tradition-- the escalating repetition is effective in ratcheting up the dramatic tension before the (for me) unexpected punchline. And I think Amos is on to something re "misapprehension and knowingness".

Posted by Lurker McLurker™ (# 1384) on :

Long jokes can work, but not if the ending is predictable. This one was predictable.

Posted by Zeke (# 3271) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
What is a shaggy dog joke?

My father used to have a very long favorite joke in which a dog wins a contest for shaggy dogs, and goes on to win many more, and when it comes to the most important contest of all, the judges realize the dog is not really shaggy after all, and the dog loses.

It was kind of funny the first time.

Posted by sakura (# 1449) on :

I had a version of this joke (in which the fish is referred to as a 'fucker' and the Pope says 'you c#@ts are alright' told me by an expert story teller. It was hilarious.

On the page it loses something. One of those jokes which stands or falls by the quality of the person telling it.

Posted by Rat (# 3373) on :

quote:
Originally posted by sakura:
I had a version of this joke (in which the fish is referred to as a 'fucker' and the Pope says 'you c#@ts are alright' told me by an expert story teller. It was hilarious.

Yes, that was the version I heard and like you I was told it rather than read it, by somebody with good comic timing. It was very, very funny, but I'm not sure it works so well in writing.

Posted by Papio. (# 4201) on :

It was funny, because you expect the Bishop to be very disaproving.

That might not be the profoundest insight in the world, but it is true.

Posted by Emma-Jean (# 7165) on :

I think I'd find it much funnier if I heard it rather than read it. Most especially if I heard it told by a good joke teller who also rarely used "naughty words". The 12 year old in me finds it hilarious to hear "naughty words" come out of unexpected mouths.

Posted by TheLearner (# 9740) on :

I take great pleasure in telling these types of jokes. Those that ramble on until an unexpected (thought not overly hillarious) punchline. (I've got one that I've been telling for years, though it wouldn't really transfer to a message board). That being said, the humor here is contigent upon the surprise of the Pope using the F-word and it would be much funnier if told in person by a good joke teller. I am a bit juvenile in my humor, so I'm sure that made it more funny to me than it would be to most, but jokes of this nature are good to share in small doses.

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