Thread: Porn Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
Someone mentioned that Nigella was food-porn, I agree. I have often thought Top Gear was car-porn.

twitter: emotional cripple-porn.

I have others but what about you?

Fly Safe Pyx_e


(this may be a bit game-like, sorry hosts, please move if req)
 
Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :
 
Wedding magazines seem to be a form of 'bridal porn'. But there's probably another sort as well.
 
Posted by Mr Clingford (# 7961) on :
 
We can't move on the telly without coming across house porn.
 
Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :
 
Kevin McCloud (et al) - property porn

Daytime telly kids-with-medical-problems-stories - empathy porn

Daily Mail - indignation porn

Ian Paisly / Abu Hamza - racism porn

(as Cockburn sang...'don't need no reverend-Paisly-hate-masturbation...')

It's a shame the formal definitions are explicitly about sex. Telly really is 90% porn, taken in a wider sense.
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Several threads on the Ship qualify - we have Bike Porn and Camera Porn and Food Porn and Intellect Porn [isn't that what Purgatory is all about?] and...
 
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
I often look at websites and magazines to look at the silky smoothness of a neck or the erotic curves on a body.

I like guitar porn, so what.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Never thought of myself as a porn addict, but I fancy just about all mentioned so far.
I am a dirty, dirty person.
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
I can't be the only Ecclesiantics poster who has ordered a copy of the J. Whippell catalog for my own perusal, even though I am neither a priest nor in a position to buy vestments for a priest, right?
 
Posted by Barefoot Friar (# 13100) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't be the only Ecclesiantics poster who has ordered a copy of the J. Whippell catalog for my own perusal, even though I am neither a priest nor in a position to buy vestments for a priest, right?
I do the same with Gaspard.
 
Posted by Ruudy (# 3939) on :
 
The mail order catalogs still being sent to us are clothes porn and toy porn.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Knitting porn - aka bottom shelf magazines.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
R W Brunskill (b.1929) is an academic architect. His field is English vernacular architecture and I want all his books! I'll accept the contributions of others, especially regarding timber-framed buildings, but Brunskill is yer man.

I'm not sure what kind of porn that is though.

eta: Reality TV - Failure Porn.

[ 31. October 2012, 17:00: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
There's a nice Purgatory thread title:

Capitalism needs porn to survive - discuss
 
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
lolcats = kittehporn. [Big Grin]

[ 31. October 2012, 18:07: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]
 
Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :
 
Christmas porn: coming soon to a supermarket shelf near you.
 
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Knitting porn - aka bottom shelf magazines.
Then, when you have succumbed to the temptations in the magazines, you sit and fondle the purchases. [Biased]
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Vehicular porn, goes with the photographic porn - photographs of silky sheens and voluptuous curves (we do actually say that on photos)
 
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
R W Brunskill (b.1929) is an academic architect. His field is English vernacular architecture and I want all his books! I'll accept the contributions of others, especially regarding timber-framed buildings, but Brunskill is yer man.
Cecil Hewitt: The collars have clasping ends to hold the principal rafters, and similarly the spur ties clasp the eaves pieces to the arch timbers; the common couples are framed in seven cants porn.

AG
(that's not even the most quoted piece of Hewitt impenetrability - knew what he was about with wood, but oh boy did he like long descriptions!)
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Ever seen the centrefold spread in this magazine each month? Pure Organ Porn.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Antiques programmes on BBC (they grow like Hydra's heads....) = Retro Porn.

Ian J.
 
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
Or bow-tie and tweed porn depending how you look at it.
 
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Barefoot Friar:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't be the only Ecclesiantics poster who has ordered a copy of the J. Whippell catalog for my own perusal, even though I am neither a priest nor in a position to buy vestments for a priest, right?
I do the same with Gaspard.
You two really ought to have got into glam rock - then you could actually be wearing the shiny stuff.
 
Posted by ebeth (# 4474) on :
 
The film Eat, Pray, Love = travel porn.
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
Fundamentalism = bible porn

Politicians = dishonesty porn, a-hole porn

Banks = money porn

If porn is supposed to get one aroused, what I've seen of royal weddings and TV tours of royal houses = revolution porn
 
Posted by monkeylizard (# 952) on :
 
I like my porn outdoors in natural settings. Cabela's, Bass Pro Shops, REI, Outdoor Life and Field & Stream are my vices...

They all (except the family-friendly REI) include some extra naughty gun-porn too.

[ 01. November 2012, 17:20: Message edited by: monkeylizard ]
 
Posted by Oferyas (# 14031) on :
 
Sorry, this thread is just so out of date. Plant catalogues from the more specialist nurseries have been known as Hortiporn in our family for years now!

[Votive] not a prayer in this context, just the government burning more Ash trees. (They were warned by the industry in 2009 - why are they only doing something three years later???)
 
Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :
 
Guitar porn. There's a lot more of it out there. I'm so ashamed...
 
Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by monkeylizard:
I like my porn outdoors in natural settings. Cabela's, Bass Pro Shops, REI, Outdoor Life and Field & Stream are my vices...

They all (except the family-friendly REI) include some extra naughty gun-porn too.
Ooohhh! [Hot and Hormonal] Any of Phil Robertson's* first couple of movies = Duck Hunting Porn. Most of what you can see on hunting shows on TV are absolute Redneck Porn.

*Duck Dynasty for those non-duck-hunters in the States.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
Guitar porn. There's a lot more of it out there. I'm so ashamed...
Timothy, sorry but your link crashed my browser both times I tried to access it, so I'm guessing that this may happen for other people too.
 
Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :
 
Bless me father/mother, for I have sinned
 
Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :
 
Clothes catelogues; and shoe shops (incl. handbags). It's not right how much pleasure I get out of perusing them. [Hot and Hormonal]
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
Bless me father/mother, for I have sinned
Venial sin, this one is mortal
 
Posted by DonLogan2 (# 15608) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by monkeylizard:
I like my porn outdoors in natural settings. Cabela's, Bass Pro Shops, REI, Outdoor Life and Field & Stream are my vices...

They all (except the family-friendly REI) include some extra naughty gun-porn too.
And don`t forget the creme de la creme, 6mm br website, laminated stocks, heavy barrels and overpriced optics [Big Grin]
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by monkeylizard:
I like my porn outdoors in natural settings. Cabela's,
I saw a Cabela store for the first time recently. Good god almighty mother of Honey Boo Boo wet your pants. It's dead animal heads on the wall porn. Also plastic animal decoy porn. And aw-shucks idiots wearing camo porn.
 
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Car porn.

Furniture porn.

[Cool]
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Piano Porn.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Piano porn
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Organ Porn

Machine porn
 
Posted by Vulpior (# 12744) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Wedding magazines seem to be a form of 'bridal porn'. But there's probably another sort as well.
Wedding magazines were frequently to be found on the tables, and being read, in the Special/GU/STD clinic in Bath. I guess that there were a lot of people going in for a pre-nup check-up.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:

Furniture porn.

Not as phwoar! as this.

[ 04. November 2012, 08:59: Message edited by: Firenze ]
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
Furniture porn.
Not as phwoar! as this
Sorry Firenze, all that link does is link back to this post.

[ 04. November 2012, 09:04: Message edited by: Firenze ]
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
There you go. All fixed. Revel in the velvet.
 
Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :
 
A wargaming magazine recently reached its 300th publication and celebrated with a big glossy full colour issue full of lovely pictures of beautifully painted little lead soldiers. At the club it was called "toy soldier porn" right up until the point when one of our "more adventurous" members slapped a german (always german!) publication on the table. It featured men and women in shiny PVC napoleonic uniforms with apple-red cheeks and blank expressions doing unspeakable things among giant gift wrapped boxes under enormous Christmas trees.

"Now THATs toy-soldier porn..."
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
lol
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
When most boys were into trains, i was into busses. Do bus timetables and magazines count as 'porn'? There wasn't much porn of the 'normal' kind when i was a teenager or, at least, not that I was aware of.
 
Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
Ah..... Steam porn. I can spend hours watching old films of puffing, heavy breathing steam locomotives, and I do.
 
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
Furniture porn.
A music room that stylish needs something to play in it.

The grain pattern of the ash on this baby is striking too. And it's mine [Cool]
 
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
Who can resist cute kitteh porn?
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Who can resist cute kitteh porn?
Me. I made the mistake of clicking such a link once. Was nauseous for days after.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
Bless me father/mother, for I have sinned
Venial sin, this one is mortal
I'm burning with you. It'll be worth it.

As I'm pretty sure many of you have noticed, I have my own pornographic weakness. Some of my friends have learned that if I send them a link marked NSFW, it probably comes from Bianchi USA.
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
I take pictures of vehicular porn. Sadly the light wasn't good enough, but there was an amazing yellow VW last night. But cats, not so often.
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Organ porn. Really!
 
Posted by JB (# 1776) on :
 
Pony Porn

(The rider was Jedijudy.)
 
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by JB:
Pony Porn

(The rider was Jedijudy.)
Half of the ten-year-olds I knew when I was also ten would have given their right eye teeth to have that handsome picture hanging in their bedrooms. [Yipee]
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
Car porn.

[Cool]
I'd prefer the current Jaguar XKS-R: I've driven it and though it costs less than an Aston Martin and does not have a V-12, it is wicked fast! It does have 550 horsepower.


Salome is opera porn. I've seen The Dance of the Seven Vails at our local symphony hall...
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by JB:
Pony Porn

(The rider was Jedijudy.)
Pony Porn indeed! [Axe murder]
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Christmas Porn.
 
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
No, no, JJ. IMHO Christmas porn is the Praetorius Christmas Mass, sung by the Gabrieli Consort. I'd link to you-tube if it was on it but it doesn't seem to be; you'll just have to buy the CD.
 
Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :
 
Christmas Porn for me begins with Henri Busser's 'Sleep of the Infant Jesus,' a super-scrumptious meditation for harp, solo violin and organ. If that's not the prelude to Midnight Mass I always feel cheated somehow. (It doesn't seem to be on YouTube.) And then, of course, Porn Part 2 is 'Ceremony of Carols' (since the harp is there already)!
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Old school camera porn.
 
Posted by JB (# 1776) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Old school camera porn.
Old School

(It still works.)
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by JB:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Old school camera porn.
Old School

(It still works.)
Reminds me of mine—which also still works.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
My neph found a bunch of those cameras in the attic yesterday-- Dad used to collect them. They are being passed on to cousin Andy, a shutterbug.

He also found something very much like this --and the batteries (which we figure were about 20 years old) still worked! He took it home to play with.

[ 09. November 2012, 02:08: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Cake maker's porn

Mrs Sioni bought this on Saturday at the International Cake Show at the NEC, and it is impressive.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by JB:


(It still works.)
My Dad had a tiny Minox spy camera. It still worked when I last saw it about 40 years ago, but it wasn't new then. It took tiny film and you separated the two halves to take a picture. In order to keep it from falling on the ground and getting smashed or lost, it was retained by a stainless-steel cord and a leather button-hole so you could hook it onto your shirt of coat button.

It probably still works but it was not among his effects when he passed just prior to age 83 in 2005.
 
Posted by angelfish (# 8884) on :
 
Harp porn.

<<groans with desire>>

[Fixed the link for you!]

[ 13. November 2012, 01:14: Message edited by: jedijudy ]
 
Posted by fluff (# 12871) on :
 
There is an Apple Shop located in my vicinity - lop-top porn - not quite as bad as it sounds...
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
church architecture porn
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Anyone else see the RoN cartoon of a priest surreptitiously going into a magazine shop and furtively looking at the top shelf? On it were periodicals entitled 'Thurible Weekly' and similar. I can't quite remember the caption, but you get the idea.
 
Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :
 
Chorister... I used to see that roof in Salisbury Cathedral once a month...I lived and went to school close by... we went for a morning service, us lads from the upper school!

I still see it occasionally when I go home to see my aged mother.
 
Posted by JB (# 1776) on :
 
More Church Porn
 


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