Thread: I Could Have Been a... Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
Over in Heaven, Angel Wrestler has a thread about potential alternative careers that may have been possible...
It reminded me of a game played with pals re. job types and a punny style of reason concerning why it didn't quite work out...
Shall we have a bash at it, but perhaps a limit of one job per response, rather than someone writing about 70 in the one reply?
Using 'I could have been a ... but...' as the formula:

I could have been a parachutist, but it never really opened up...

[ 17. February 2012, 11:35: Message edited by: joan knox ]
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a pilot, but that idea didn't fly ...

[ 17. February 2012, 11:39: Message edited by: Yam-uk ]
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
I could have been a surgeon, but couldn't cut it.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
I could have been a medium, but I didn't have the spirit.
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
I could have been a chef but I didn't cut the mustard
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
I could've been a eunuch, but didn't have the balls for it.
 
Posted by Chelley (# 11322) on :
 
I could have been a vet but I didn't have the animal instinct!
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I could have been a drunk but I didn't have the bottle.
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
I could have been a Taxidermist, but I didn't have the guts.
 
Posted by Silver Faux (# 8783) on :
 
I could have been a wastrel and a libertine, but I didn't have any money to waste or the good looks to attract babes.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
I could have been a dentist, but I didn't know the drill.
 
Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :
 
I could have been a cardiologist but my heart wasn't in it.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a farmer, but I wanted to plough my own furrow
 
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
I could have been a spy. Actually... dammit, now I'm going to have to shoot the lot of you.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a secretary, but I just wasn't the type.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
I could have been a detective but I haven't got a clue.
 
Posted by Pure Sunshine (# 11904) on :
 
I could have been a neurologist, but I didn't have the nerve.
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
I could have been a doctor but I never had the patience (geddit?)
 
Posted by Silver Faux (# 8783) on :
 
I could have been a flower, but I smoked up all of the pot.
 
Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :
 
I could have been a K9 detective, but I didn't have any leads.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have been the public executioner, but I couldn't get the hang of it.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could've been a neurosurgeon but didn"t have the brains.
 
Posted by WhateverTheySay (# 16598) on :
 
I could have been a travel agent, but I couldn't take the holiday.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
I could have been a massage therapist, but I couldn't get a feel for the job.
 
Posted by Pure Sunshine (# 11904) on :
 
I could have been a lorry driver, but I don't have any truck with that.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a donkey wrangler, but I just couldn't be arsed...
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have worked in hydro power, but I couldn't give a damn.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I could have been a farmer, but I wasn't outstanding in my field.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I had plans to become an executioner but I couldn't get the hang of it.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could of been a sailor
but I missed the boat
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a toilet attendant but then the shit hit the fan.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been an Oil Tycoon, but I soon got bored.

Then I tried my hand as a crossword compiler and found it got one down.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been an architect, but didn't have the plans.
 
Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :
 
I could have been an astronaut but I was too spaced out.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a priest, but it just didn't feel rite.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have been a gym instructor, but it didn't work out.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I could have been a computer programmer, but I didn't know where to go to.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a Communications Officer in the Navy.... but try telling THAT to the Marines!
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
I tried to be a barrister, but I didn't have any briefs so I had to take up soliciting
 
Posted by Pure Sunshine (# 11904) on :
 
I could have been a journalist, but I just couldn't hack it.
 
Posted by Angel Wrestler (# 13673) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dafyd:
I could have been the public executioner, but I couldn't get the hang of it.

[Killing me]

I could have been a Navy captain, but that ship sailed.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
First of all .. Apologies to Dafyd for doubling on his post... I hadn't seen it Sorry!

I could have been an Artist, but had to draw the line at that.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been a statistician but I didn't have the means.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a tailor
but I did not measure up
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
I could have been an actor, but I gave up at an early stage

(You do know we're basically writing the script for Milton Jones' next radio series here, don't you?)
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a writer but I rather lost the plot
 
Posted by no_prophet (# 15560) on :
 
I could have been a cowboy but I horsed around too much, so that idea was shot full of holes.
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
I started off as a gigolo, but I just couldn't keep it up
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a high flying baker, but I realised it was just pie in the sky. [Frown]
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a psychic, but due to unforeseen circumstances, it just never happened.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a Ventriloquist.... but they told me I was talking out of my ****.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a bootblack -- but I never took a shine to it.
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
Here's a couple that came up in conversation:

I could have been a pilot but that flew in the face of reason

I could have been an Anglican vicar, but I got collared by the Methodists
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a dentist but I couldn't get my teeth into it
 
Posted by WhateverTheySay (# 16598) on :
 
I could have been a musician, but I couldn't hit the note.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a photographer
But I had a negative approach
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I could have been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

Sorry, had to do it. Carry on.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a podiatrist, but I got off on the wrong foot.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I coulda been a teacher - until they found out I had Form
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a contender, but I did not know how to box.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
coulda been an undertaker but I was late for the interview
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I could have been an apiarist,
But I never got a buzz out of it.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
<thread crossover>

I could have been a Banner Lady - but I have no standards
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been an ice skater
but I got cold feet
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
coulda been an architect - but I had to draw the line somewhere
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a draughtsman
But it really put the wind up me
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
coulda been a Diarist - but I couldn't get a date
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Coulda been a hearse driver,
'cept I kept a-coughin'...

(Jah: [Overused] )
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
Could have been a bus driver, but I didn't have a coach.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could've been a procotologist, but they told me where to stick it...
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been an archeologist, but I just didn't dig it.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been an Egyptologist, but that would've been a grave decision.
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I could have been an electrician but I sort of lacked the spark.
 
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 
Could have been a professional skier, but it all went downhill.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a shepherd, but I got crook
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a knife-thrower, but I couldn't really see the point
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
I could have been a knife-thrower's assistant, but I got the point rather too quickly
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been an archer
but my legs went all of a quiver
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been an artist but I got the brush off
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a refuse disposal officer
But it was just a load of rubbish
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have managed a laundromat, but I got taken to the cleaners.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
I could have been a reality TV star, but I had a brain. And moral scruples.
 
Posted by Angel Wrestler (# 13673) on :
 
I could have been a gastroenterologist but I didn't have the gall.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been a goalie but I got kicked out.

[ 20. February 2012, 15:11: Message edited by: Sylvander ]
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
I could have been a Bishop, but they don't allow my sort of crook.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
Like Jahlove, I too could have been a dentist, but I couldn't find an opening.

[ 20. February 2012, 15:55: Message edited by: Dafyd ]
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a post-grad, but I couldn't stay the course...
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I could have been a pole dancer, but I couldn't get a grip on it.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a welder but I was in a state of flux
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a furrower
But I got stuck in a rut
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
....could have been a gynecologist, but I couldn't adjust the stirrups.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
I could have been a cruise ship captain, but I wasn't stern enough.
 
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on :
 
I could have been a dental hygienist if only I weren't so down in the mouth.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
Coulda have been an alcoholic, but I didnt have the bottle.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a mining engineer but I got shafted
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a hooker, but I got mislaid.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a professional chess player
But I got bored
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I could have been a politician, but I wasn't one of the Elect.
 
Posted by Nunzia (# 4766) on :
 
I could have been a funeral director, but I'm just not a mourning person.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a creationist, but I just couldn't adam'n'eve it.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have played football and been a striker, but it wasn't my goal.
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I could have worked with computers but I just couldn't hack it.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a liturgist but I got no response
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a Jehovah's Witness, but one door shut after another.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a nun but could never get into the habit
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I could have been a mountaineer but I couldn't make the grade.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a heritage line engine driver, but I ran out of steam.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been an inventor, but I couldn't engineer my way out of a paper bag.
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by joan knox:
I could have been a nun but could never get into the habit

I could have been a monk but I got into the wrong habits.
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I could have been a Judge, but I just couldn't make a decision.
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I could have been a cab driver, but I never fared well.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been a climber but I wasn't up for it.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
I could have been a carpenter, but I didn't measure up.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a glazier but I couldn't see a way into it
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been an undergarment designer, but I thought it was pants.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a urologist, but it was bollocks.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a glazier
but it too much of a pain
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have run for Congress but I couldn't deal with my bills.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a tailor, but someone stitched me up
 
Posted by WhateverTheySay (# 16598) on :
 
I could have been a baker, but I just couldn't rise that early.
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I could have been a writer, but somehow it just seemed wrong.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a pimp, but I couldn't hook 'er.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a manicurist but I wasn't quick enough
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a puppeteer.
but there was to many strings attached
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a badger, but I got in with the wrong sett.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a badger hunter, but I didn't follow the cull of the wild.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been a baker but I thought it was crêpe.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a candlestick maker, but I burned my candle at both ends.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I was going to be a hot air balloonist, but that fell flat.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a herbalist but I didn't have thyme
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a snooker-player, but I didn't have the balls...
 
Posted by Angel Wrestler (# 13673) on :
 
I could have been an orinthologist, but it was for the birds.
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I could have been a banker, but I lost interest.
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I could have been a haberdasher but I didn't have the zip.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been an angler but it just wasn't my line
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pearl B4 Swine:
I could have been a banker, but I lost interest.

[Overused]
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
seconded! [Overused]
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a jailer
but I was too keyed up
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a plumber but I got lead out of it
 
Posted by Silver Faux (# 8783) on :
 
I could have been a pussy but I didn't have a split personality.
 
Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :
 
And I could have been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence.
 
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
I could have been a police officer, but I couldn't beat the other candidates for the position.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been an angler but it just wasn't my mine
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
line*

meh
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a poultry farmer
But I chickened out
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I could have been a flutist, but I blew it.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a cellist, but I had another string to my bow.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a farmer, but I didn't care a straw.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a dietician
But I had too much on my plate
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a toymaker but I had to lego of that idea
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have bee a toy-maker, but I kept playing with myself [Biased] [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a motorcycle racer, but I wasn't hellbent for leathers.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a brain surgeon, but I preferred a full bottle in front of me... [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a psychologist but i was too a-freud (and they said I was too Jung)
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been an engineer and design construction sets, but I couldn't meccano sense of it.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a mountaineer, but I was past my peak.
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I could have been a jockey, but I knew it would stir up trouble.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a jockey, but I couldn't whip myself into shape.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been an actor, but it wasn't my scene.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have been a bartender, but I couldn't pull my weight. So I didn't get ahead.
 
Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :
 
I could have been a mathematician, but couldn't figure out how... it just didn't add up!
 
Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :
 
I could have been a snooker player, but I missed my cue!
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a circus performer, but I didn't have the ring of confidence.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a bellringer, but I dropped a clanger.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could've been a physicist, but I didn't have the gravitas for it.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been an actor but it was just a stage I went through.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a vampire, but thought it kinda sucked...

*yeah, I'll just get my coat*
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a fruit grower, but it all went pear-shaped.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have been a farmer, but I came a cropper.
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I could have been a ball boy, but I lost my bounce...
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a lion tamer, but had issues with my pride.
 
Posted by Silver Faux (# 8783) on :
 
I could have been a pollster, but I questioned the value of it.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a astronaut, but I was all spaced out
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a yachtsman, but I didn't have the sails technique.
 
Posted by WhateverTheySay (# 16598) on :
 
I could have been a carpenter, but I got lost in the wood.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been an armourer but it gave me too much greave


[Eta: UK English spelling [Hot and Hormonal] ]

[ 29. February 2012, 20:19: Message edited by: Jahlove ]
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a laundryman, but I was a washout.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been an Archer, but my given name's not Tom, Tony or David.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a horseman, but I never harnessed my full potential.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been an optimist but I was hopeless.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been an archer, but I had other strings to my bow.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
I could have been a violinist
But I was always on the fiddle
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been in door-to-door sales, but there weren't any openings
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a decorator, but I painted myself into a corner.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a taxidermist, but I couldn't be stuffed...

And on that very dire note, I suspect this game may finally be running oot of steam.
Shall we see if we can make it to 200, then call it a day folks? [on the 'better to burn out, than fade away' way of ending?]
...And if not, do feel free to close this particular job centre, oh hostly ones.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
Marching on toward 200 . . .

I could have been a locomotive engineer but I ran out of steam.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
I could have built a Gothic cathedral but I wasn't inspired.
 
Posted by Nanny Ogg (# 1176) on :
 
I could have been an insurance assessor but that was too risky.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a beautician, but it all turned ugly.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a playwright, but I couldn't get my act together.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I wanted to be a psychologist but I was too Jung
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been an actor, but I was upstaged.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
I could have been a submarine commander, but that ambition got torpedoed. Now I'm out of my depth.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
so could I - but they gave me das Boot

[eta: correction to poor German grammar]

[ 07. March 2012, 20:24: Message edited by: Jahlove ]
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a fortune teller, but there were unforeseen circumstances.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a mountaineer, but I was over the hill.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a lavatory attendant, but it all went down the pan.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have been a peacekeeper, but I couldn't stand the pace.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a pharmacist, but I was dispensed with.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been a wheat farmer but it all went awry.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I could have been a Hellhost but they moved my post.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
you all could have been awesome...
and indeed, you all actually are!! [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a psychoanalyst but id did nothing for me
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a bus conductor, but it just wasn't the ticket.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a reincarnationist but nobody had a vacancy
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a midwife, but I gave it a wide birth.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a brain-surgeon, but I lost my mind
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a heart surgeon, but I got stuck on the bypass.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a watchmaker but I ran out of time.

[Is this thread still open?]
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I could have been a floral arranger, but I had a vase-ectomy.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
I could have been a watchmaker but I ran out of time.

[Is this thread still open?]

*wanders in, looks around, notices Miss Amanda*
[It would appear to be so - seems there's life in the ole thread yet]

*wanders off*
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a water conservationist, but I didn't give a dam.
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
I could have been a sexton, but I didn't dig it.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a leatherworker, but I had to go into hiding.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
I could have been a Photographer, but I just couldn't focus.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a piano tutor, but my Bach was worse than my bite.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a violin-player, but I had other strings to my bow

[ 09. March 2012, 14:56: Message edited by: Yam-uk ]
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been an ornithologist but I got twitchy
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a bingo caller, but my number was up.
 
Posted by Jahlove (# 10290) on :
 
I could have been a Cockney - but i bowed* out


* for our non-londophile viewers, a cockney must be born within the sound of Bow Bells [Big Grin]
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a footballer, but they moved the goalposts.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been an oceanographer but it didn't float my boat.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a gravedigger, but it was a dead end job.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
Miss Amanda should think it would have gotten you deeper into a hole.

[She'll get her wrap.]
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a luggage handler, but it wasn't my bag.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a survivor, but I couldn't live with myself.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
Like Yam-Uk I could have been a snooker champion but I was blackballed from the club.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been in the chorus for The Messiah, but I couldn't get a handle on it.
 
Posted by Sylvander (# 12857) on :
 
I could have been a proctologist but I couldn't be arsed.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a vegetable grower, but I didn't know my onions.
 
Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
i could have been a coal miner, but it turned out
to be the pits
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a haematologist, but I was bloody awful.
 
Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :
 
I could have been a rugby player, but I didn't really try.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a seaside entertainer, but I was not the only pebble on the beach.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I could have been a funeral director, but it was too grave an undertaking.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I could have been a general, but I thought, "Sod this for a game of soldiers!"
 
Posted by Sister Influenza (# 15557) on :
 
I could have been a composer but I had to write my chopin liszt
 
Posted by Sister Influenza (# 15557) on :
 
I could have been a ghost hunter but I got haunted down
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been an arborist, but I was barking up the wrong tree.
 
Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :
 
I could have been a rock star, but I spent too much time getting stoned.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a cadaver, but I'm not dead yet!
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a calligrapher, but I blotted my copybook.
 
Posted by piccolo (# 16989) on :
 
I could have been a golfer, but I didn't have the drive.
 
Posted by piccolo (# 16989) on :
 
I could have been the Messiah, but I'm a very naughty boy.
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could have been a translator but it was all Greek to me
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a river pilot, but it all went down the Swanee.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have worked at McDonald's, but I didn't have a humanities degree...
 
Posted by Yam-uk (# 12791) on :
 
I could've been an arms-trader but I got fired
 
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Yam-uk:
I could've been an arms-trader but I got fired

[Killing me] Just struck me funny
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a sign-maker, but the writing was on the wall.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a cobbler, but I didn't think it would last.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by East Price Road:
I could have been a cobbler, but I didn't think it would last.

Shame! Just think, if you'd persevered you could have been: East Price Road & Co, by Appointment, Shoemakers to the Queen and Cobblers to the Duke of Edinburgh
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
quote:
Originally posted by East Price Road:
I could have been a cobbler, but I didn't think it would last.

Shame! Just think, if you'd persevered you could have been: East Price Road & Co, by Appointment, Shoemakers to the Queen and Cobblers to the Duke of Edinburgh
[Killing me] I like it I like it!

Moving on:

I could have been a hay-baler, but I drew the short straw.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a seamstress, but it was a so-so kinda job.
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
I could have been a Cheesemaker, but I lost my whey.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a statistician, but it came to nought.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a gastronome but found the idea unpalatable...
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a construction worker, but it all fell apart.
 
Posted by MSHB (# 9228) on :
 
I could have been a baker but I didn't knead the dough.
 
Posted by kankucho (# 14318) on :
 
I could have been a clairvoyant but I couldn't see any future in it.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a teapot-maker, but it all went up the spout.
 
Posted by kankucho (# 14318) on :
 
I could have been an origami artist. But that all folded.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a London Underground driver, but it all went down the tubes.
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
I could have been a proofreader, but I wasn't the ti'pE;
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have gone to finishing school, but
 
Posted by kankucho (# 14318) on :
 
I could have been a peripatetic teacher. But, well, you know how it is if you didn't go to the right school...
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a contender, but I was out of contention for the post!
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a postman, but it didn't deliver.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a square dancer, but like, I was too hip man.
 
Posted by Rosa Winkel (# 11424) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by East Price Road:
I could have been a gravedigger, but it was a dead end job.

Me too, but I just didn't dig it.

I could also have been a dentist, but I didn't fancy looking down in the mouth.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a scarecrow, but I sat too long on the fence.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been the bloke who put up the fences, but the post was taken.
 
Posted by Poptart22 (# 17096) on :
 
I could have been a photographer, but I just didn't get a shot.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a crematorium assistant but I never really warmed to the idea...
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a snooker player, but there was a queue.
 
Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by East Price Road:
I could have been a snooker player, but there was a queue.

Even for a punny thread, that's egregious. I'm not sure whether I should applaud, or refer you to the admins for planking.
 
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
Well, so could I, but I couldn't get the breaks.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been an eco-warrior but discovered it's not easy being green.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a breathing trainer, but I had aspirations.
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have worked for Levi Strauss, but it wasn't in my genes.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a sheet metal worker, but I wasn't galvanised.
 
Posted by kankucho (# 14318) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Poptart22:
I could have been a photographer, but I just didn't get a shot.

You should have been more focused.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by kankucho:
quote:
Originally posted by Poptart22:
I could have been a photographer, but I just didn't get a shot.

You should have been more focused.
Which would have gotten you more exposure . . . ?

[Miss Amanda will get her wrap.]
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I wanted to change paradigms, but I couldn't take the shift work.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a poet, but I couldn't find rhyme or reason.
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have been a miner, but it was beneath me.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a gold miner, but the prospects were not good.
 
Posted by joan knox (# 16100) on :
 
I could have been a watchmaker but I didn't have the time...

Then I wondered if I could have been a clockmaker, but didn't like dealing in second-hand goods.

[ 17. May 2012, 11:29: Message edited by: joan knox ]
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a children's book author, but I was just pottering about.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been a slacker, but I couldn't find my slacks!
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a blacksmith, but I couldn't forge ahead.
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have been a rodeo rider, but I bucked the trend.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a swimming pool attendant, but I was just dropping in.
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have been an Anger Management consultant, it was all the rage.

with acknowledgment to Sioni Sais' sig
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a Latin grammar teacher, but I declined.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a trigonometry professor but I went off on a tangent.
 
Posted by Edith (# 16978) on :
 
I could have been a printer but I wasn't the type.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by East Price Road:
I could have been a Latin grammar teacher, but I declined.

Are we giving prizes? I like that one!
 
Posted by Bean Sidhe (# 11823) on :
 
I could have been a toyboy, but I didn't have the balls.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
(Thanks, Sioni!)

I could have been a lunar observer, but my interest was waning.
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have been a baker, but I needed more dough.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a tree surgeon, but I was hacked off.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Fidei Defensor:
I could have been a baker, but I needed more dough.

If you had become a baker, you'd have kneaded more dough. [Biased]
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
I could have been a grave-digger , but they showed me 2 shovels and said 'take your pick'.
 
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :
 
I could have been a quiz-master , but it was out of the question .
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have joined the Paris River Police, but that would have been insane.

[ 22. May 2012, 13:40: Message edited by: Fidei Defensor ]
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a weather forecaster, but I was under a cloud.
 
Posted by Fidei Defensor (# 17105) on :
 
I could have been a Citroën salesman, but I didn't have a CV.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a sprinter, but my hopes were dashed.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a train driver, but they all railed against me.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a harbormaster, but my ship came in.
 
Posted by Taking the Peace (# 17155) on :
 
I could have been a man of sorrows, but I was rejected.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a fencer, but I was foiled.
 
Posted by Taking the Peace (# 17155) on :
 
I could have been Prince of Denmark, but it was not to be.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a lumberjack, but the post was axed.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a newscaster and it's six months since my interview and still there's NO NEWS!
 
Posted by Enigma (# 16158) on :
 
I could have been a hang-glider but it's all up in the air.
 
Posted by Taking the Peace (# 17155) on :
 
I could have been an albino, but that would have been beyond the pale.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a soldier, but I was given my marching orders.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a Royal Chef. I made Eaton Mess and was told it wasn't - that it was a (right?) Royal Mess!
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been an assembly line worker (having tried my best), but what the Foreman told me I couldn't repeat.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a policeman, but I was not much cop.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a detective, but I hadn't a clue.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a cocktail bartender, but I was no great shakes.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a stand up, but my friends all fell over laughing.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a foreign correspondent, but I was nothing to write home about.
 
Posted by badger@thesett (# 16422) on :
 
I could have been a grave digger
but I lost the plot
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been an "extra" but I had had one too many.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a hill walker, but I wasn't inclined.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I thought I might spend the rest of my life sitting in a chair that gently moved back and forth, but I was off my rocker.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a monk, but my mum and dad had silenced me.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a member of the polar exploration team, but I was frozen out.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been an ancestor, but my dates have all said, "Who do you think you are?! * "


[* UK TV programme tracing celebrities' ancestors]
 
Posted by cosmic dance (# 14025) on :
 
I could have been an economist but was stopped by the invisible hand.
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pasco:
I could have been an "extra" but I had had one too many.

(Stealing the "extra" idea)

I could've been an extra, but they had too much of me.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a disc jockey, but I spun out of control.
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
I could've been a blues guitarist, but I let that opportunity slide.
 
Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on :
 
I could have been an acoustic guitarist, but I fret too much.
 
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on :
 
I could have been a locksmith but I get too keyed up.
 
Posted by agrgurich (# 5724) on :
 
I could have been a dermatologist, but I was too rash.
 
Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :
 
I could have been a clown but my Career's Advisor said, "Don't be silly."
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a whisky distiller, but my plans were scotched.
 
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
I could have been fighter pilot, but the interview panel shot me down.
 
Posted by beachcomber (# 17294) on :
 
I could have been a brick-layer, but I dropped one.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a chimney sweep, but I had a brush with the law.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I could have been an architect, but my left hand is dominant
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a huntsman, but I was outfoxed.
 
Posted by Below the Lansker (# 17297) on :
 
I could have been an organist, but someone put a stop to it.
 
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
I could have got pregnant, but the oven went out*


*Reference to an English term for preganant - "having a bun in the oven."
 
Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
I could have been a milkman*, but I didn't have the bottle.


*OK - strictly speaking, a dairy-related goods delivery person.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by QLib:
OK - strictly speaking, a dairy-related goods delivery person.

Now that's udder nonsense!

[Miss Amanda will get her wrap.]

[ 11. September 2012, 20:23: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
 
Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on :
 
I could've been a GCSE English examiner but I couldn't make the grade.
 
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
I could have been a gardener, but was weeded out.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I could have been a gravedigger, but the opening was filled.
 
Posted by Bean Sidhe (# 11823) on :
 
I could have been a Spice Girl but I couldn't cut the mustard.
 
Posted by Below the Lansker (# 17297) on :
 
I could have been a seamstress, but I rather lost the thread.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a prosecutor, but I didn't have the conviction.
 
Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :
 
I could have been a magician, but I was disillusioned.
 
Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on :
 
I could've been a ski instructor, but I got cold feet.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
I could have had a career as a weightlifter, but I couldn't get it off the ground.
 
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
I could have bred puppies, but was dogged by misfortune.
 
Posted by Sir Pellinore (# 12163) on :
 
A Jesuit. Unlike the Vicar of Bray, no Glorious Revolution purportedly interfered. Merely a subterranean inner murmur that this wasn't the life for me.
 
Posted by Cara (# 16966) on :
 
I could have been a builder, but people put the wrong construction on it.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
And I could have destroyed Hull but—oh wait, I am!
 


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