Thread: Christmas is banned because . . . Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
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Advent is upon us again and with it comes that hardy perennial, the banned Christmas story , such as this corker from the Daily Heil.
So all you need to do is answer the previous poster's anguished cry of X have banned Christmas because... with your own reason, and then post your own person/august body to have banned it for the next player to answer.
Eg: Jesus has banned Christmas because
and the next player responds
"because Santa's never got him a bike!"
Away you go!
AG
<small>[ 12. February 2013, 05:51: Message buggered about with by: comet ]</small>
[ 13. February 2013, 15:39: Message edited by: Ariston ]
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
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Your starter for ten:
The Daily Wail have banned Christmas because...
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Your starter for ten:
The Daily Wail have banned Christmas because...
All that stuff about love, peace and helping the poor is just a European, lefty plot to help welfare scroungers and refugees living in mansions take more money from hard-working families. As if refugees have anything to do with the nativity story...
And it probably gives you cancer. There was a study once...
The Church of England General Synod have banned Christmas because...
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Stejjie:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Your starter for ten:
The Daily Wail have banned Christmas because...
All that stuff about love, peace and helping the poor is just a European, lefty plot to help welfare scroungers and refugees living in mansions take more money from hard-working families. As if refugees have anything to do with the nativity story...
And it probably gives you cancer. There was a study once...
The Church of England General Synod have banned Christmas because...
An obscure bunch of neo-Puritans objects to the observance and alternative non-Christmas observing episcopal oversight cannot be adequately arranged to ensure they never have to have contact with a bishop who's ever dressed up as Father Christmas or eaten a plum duff.
The Tory Government has Banned Christmas because
Posted by Imersge Canfield (# 17431) on
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The Church of England General Synod have banned Christmas because... their committee has nt reported back on the validity & assurance of Christlingles !
The Republicans have banned Christmas because
Posted by Robert Armin (# 182) on
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The Tory Government has Banned Christmas because the shepherds and the wise men were clearly an early form of coalition, formed to promote the worship of the baby Jesus, and we all know that this Coalition is mess, preventing us from being as draconian as we would like to be, so let's not remind folk that working together can ever be successful!
Flower arrangers have banned Christmas because:
ETA: Apologies to IC but I don't know the Republicans well enough to make jokes about them, so I went with the Tories.
[ 05. December 2012, 12:06: Message edited by: Robert Armin ]
Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on
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Flower arrangers have banned Christmas because they can't see the point(settia).
Jewellers have banned Christmas because...
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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Jewellers have banned Christmas because... 5 gold rings is barely enough to sustain a business with.
Lord Leveson has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Ceannaideach (# 12007) on
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Lord Leveson has banned Christmas because good news to all men is clearly bad product placement.
Mr Ed (not David) Milliband has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Stejjie:
Jewellers have banned Christmas because... 5 gold rings is barely enough to sustain a business with.
Lord Leveson has banned Christmas because...
He's read the Daily Heil too much and believes it's already banned.
My boss has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Ceannaideach (# 12007) on
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(Karl, we need to stop bumping into each other like this! People will start to talk!)
My boss has banned Christmas because having the company open will mean more money in the tills
Mr Ed (not David) Milliband has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
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Mr Ed (not David) Milliband has banned Christmas because...
...with all those Nick Park repeats on the TV someone might realise that actually Gromit is the brains of the operation!
The BBC have banned Christmas because...
AG
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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There have been accusations about the shepherds' activities with the sheep.
The three kings have banned Christmas because -
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
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Because two are allergic to frankincense and myrrh and the other won't let the other two carry gold instead.
Santa has banned Christmas because
Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on
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Santa has banned Christmas because...
...he thought it was too religious.
Our vicar has banned Christmas because…
Posted by womanspeak (# 15394) on
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THE VICAR HAS BANNED CHRISTMAS BECAUSE
he is just too busy at this time of year and has complained about Christmas time so much in his Advent ramblings in the hope we will all stay away.
MOTHERS HAVE BANNED CHRISTMAS BECAUSE...
Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Our vicar has banned Christmas because…
He's fed up of trying to grab a quick nap between finishing Midnight Mass and getting ready for the 8am service.
Gerry Adams has banned Christmas because...
Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on
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Cross-post
quote:
Originally posted by womanspeak:
MOTHERS HAVE BANNED CHRISTMAS BECAUSE...
They'd need to remortgage the house to buy everything on their children's Christmas lists.
Gerry Adams has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Imersge Canfield (# 17431) on
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Gerry Adams has banned Christmas because...he hates the way 'they' bring religion into it !
The Turkey in chief has banned Christmas because...
[ 07. December 2012, 09:25: Message edited by: Imersge Canfield ]
Posted by SyNoddy (# 17009) on
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The turkey in chief has banned Christmas because the chestnut stuffing causes an adverse reaction in an unfortunate location
The choir has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Jane R (# 331) on
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The choir has banned Christmas because... they all have throat infections
(actually that's too true to be funny)
The donkey has banned Christmas because...
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
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The donkey has banned Christmas because...
... well, the clue is in the words.
"Little donkey, little donkey
Had a heavy day
Little donkey carry Mary
Safely on her way."
A heavy day? That Mary is pregnant. That makes her two people. I'm only one donkey. You've heard of the last straw that breaks the donkey's back? Well how many straws do you think a pregnant woman weighs?
The angel from the top of the tree has banned Christmas because...
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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The angel from the top of the tree has banned Christmas because... she is fed up with where they stick the Christmas tree. It takes ages to get the pine needles out.
Marks and Spencer have banned Christmas because...
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
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Marks and Spencer have banned Christmas because...
They just can't get enough fabric for all those pairs of Christmassy apple-catcher knickers!
Lord Lucan has banned Christmas because...
AG
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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it's celebrated in Hull!
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