Thread: Golf Haters - Just Throwbacks To The 50's Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
I don’t play but my ten year old son does, and he plays very well (he’s on the fringe of the Derbyshire U11 squad). He plays and is coached at a municipal course, and the junior section is thriving. The coach works with local state schools to give kids a taste of golf, and it costs the magic sum of £30 per year to join the junior section, which gives them access to weekly coaching. As I say, I don’t play (but I can see me having to start!), but I do caddy for my son and I’m on the junior committee. Oh by the way, we are also trying to encourage the junior ladies section by arranging girls only coaching sessions, and on that subject, ALL competitions at the club and at county level are mixed.

Why on Earth is the game of golf hated? It’s certainly not elitist. My lad’s local course is £17 for a full round, which will last about 3-4 hours, which works out far cheaper than going to watch professional football.

A cheap set of clubs is around £100 in Sports Direct and that’s cheaper than some trainers! There are very few BMW’s in the car park but plenty of Fords, Vauxhalls, Kia’s and so on, as well as fair amount of builders and plumbers vans!

So my view is that people who stereotype golf and golfers have never actually played the game and seem to live in some 1950’s version of reality. It says more about the prejudices of those condemning the game than of those who actually play the game! It's amazing where you can find bigotry these days isn't it?
 
Posted by Zach82 (# 3208) on :
 
quote:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated?
Because it's fucking boring?
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
Golfers should be shot. All of them. Without mercy.
 
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
My husband plays - pays a fortune for membership fees. Crazy dress codes. Misogynist rules.

A good walk ruined imo.

(But it keeps him out of trouble so there is a up side)

[Smile]
 
Posted by Niteowl (# 15841) on :
 
Played a few rounds when my father was still alive. Only pleasure I got was from the fact I shouldn't be able to play. Other than that it's boring to play and watching it on TV is like watching paint dry. I will admit it takes skill on the part of the player. It's not a popular game because it's dull and boring.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I like golf.

Correction. I like the spectacle of televised golf. If it's coming from a links course, with a bracing onshore breeze, and McElroy is leading the field.* From the hyper-manicured lawns of Augusta, not so much. From Wentworth with Peter Allis droning on about Old Buffy Scrote-Grumbling used to shoot a 72 at Poona, not at all.

*and if it ever came from the Royal County Down, that would be best of all.
 
Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
oh look, a Heck Thread.

how cute.
 
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated?

I hate it for two reasons. Public courses take up a lot of public space for a very limited use, and all golf courses use a lot of water, something in short supply here in southern California.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
The first 18 holes are OK, but what goes on in the 19th of membership golf clubs brings the whole game into disrepute. It's the last refuge of neo-fascism in England. And I include the car park at Twickenham on Middlesex Sevens day.

Quite why deano is defending golf as a whole is a mystery, for there is a world of difference between a municipal golf course, such as that at which his son plays, and the private clubs, some of which award membership on an invitation-only basis. Many of those which do accept applications keep very quiet about membership fees. I suppose if you have to ask, you're probably not the kind of chap they want as a member.

nb. the above does not apply to Scotland. Some clubs are smarter than others, but it doesn't have quite the same image that it has in England.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
As per George Carlin. We can solve the homeless problem tomorrow if we commandeer the golf courses.

There was nothing so frustrating during the early 90's drought in Greater California as to see the persistent glowing greenness of the 3-4 golf courses I live near.
 
Posted by The Riv (# 3553) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated?

I hate it for two reasons. Public courses take up a lot of public space for a very limited use, and all golf courses use a lot of water, something in short supply here in southern California.
You're going to be down on golf because someone decided that a coastal desert would be a good place to grow a gargantuan city? There's not a lot of water there becuase there's not supposed to be. [Biased]
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
How many baseball/football/soccer pitches does southern California have that need watering? Or do you mean you hate all sports that user water?

Second, boring is subjective, so fuck opinions like that.

If we're talking fashion - what the hell do those basketball players wear? How long do shorts have to be? They look like twats. Do they know that? And speed skaters and skiers... all fashion victims of the first order.

SS, how do you kinow what golf club bars are like? Do you have personal experience? Or is it what I said - prejudice based on some fairy tale you've picked up?

[ 27. February 2013, 20:10: Message edited by: deano ]
 
Posted by ToujoursDan (# 10578) on :
 
A golf course takes up much more space than a football or soccer field and tend to be off limits to anyone who isn't part of the club, whereas most soccer or football fields are in parks and can easily be converted for other uses.

[ 27. February 2013, 20:14: Message edited by: ToujoursDan ]
 
Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :
 
Aren't they quite good wildlife preserves?
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Niteowl:
Other than that it's boring to play and watching it on TV is like watching paint dry.

Yes, whenever they announce "live golf" on the telly I always wonder how they can tell the difference between that and dead golf.

On the Sport Boredom Scale I'd rank it 10, equal with darts and bowls.
 
Posted by moron (# 206) on :
 
The sport gave us John Daly so it can't be all bad.

And David Feherty is entertaining:

quote:
The outspoken columnist then took a shot at actor and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise, who has said that therapy and drugs are useless and that depression can be cured by physical exercise: "Actually, some sort of exercise would have helped me. If I kicked the shit out of Tom Cruise, I'd feel a lot better about myself."

 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated?

Until this thread and its responses, I don't think I was aware that it was.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
oh look, a Heck Thread.

how cute.

Yeah, they're adorable when they first come in, with their bedraggled fur and wide little eyes.

But then they start eating all the food and leaving unpleasant messes all over the place for us to clean up. And you know that if we keep it, sooner or later we'll have to talk about neutering.
 
Posted by Sober Preacher's Kid (# 12699) on :
 
Golf is simply what curlers do in the warm months.
 
Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated? It’s certainly not elitist.

So my view is that people who stereotype golf and golfers have never actually played the game and seem to live in some 1950’s version of reality. It says more about the prejudices of those condemning the game than of those who actually play the game! It's amazing where you can find bigotry these days isn't it?

In the late 1960s, the rules of the Royal Birkdale Golf Club still specified that Jews could not be members. So much for stereotypes and bigotry.
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
After going through a terrible time looking after my mum we organised a day off a week respite for my dad. For some strange reason he took up golf and for the rest of her life and during his grief it saved him, gave him a reason to get up and meet people and be out in the open air.

He is also a brave (but small) man who managed to stop the people in the club saying "nigger" (in front of him) after two near fights and several blazing rows in which he was often alone. I saw him once walk across the clubhouse and face down 2 off-duty policemen.

They tolerated him (leftie peace, lover that he is) and he changed them a bit around him, but a more mean spirited, borderline alcoholic, repressed (Oh the clothes!) bigoted bunch of non thinking splutter-cocks I have never met.

He misses the golf (now his knees won’t let him play) not so much the endless clubhouse bullshit.

Fly Safe, Pyx_e
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by QLib:
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated? It’s certainly not elitist.

So my view is that people who stereotype golf and golfers have never actually played the game and seem to live in some 1950’s version of reality. It says more about the prejudices of those condemning the game than of those who actually play the game! It's amazing where you can find bigotry these days isn't it?

In the late 1960s, the rules of the Royal Birkdale Golf Club still specified that Jews could not be members. So much for stereotypes and bigotry.
Way to prove deano's point by referring to something from before half of us were born.
 
Posted by anne (# 73) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated?

I don't think it is.
Golf Clubs with misogynist membership rules are hated by lots of people.
Golf Club members who are ghastly little-englanders are hated by - well, I'm tempted to say by all right-minded people, but lots of right-minded people are not into hating other people.
Golf Courses that use vast amounts of natural resources for the benefit of a few members or which destroy local areas of beauty and deny local people established and historic access to land (looking at no-one Mr Trump) - they're not very popular.
But the game of Golf itself - who hates that? Who cares?

anne
 
Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
Yeah, I know it's the latest thing to keep saying (re Saville, etc) "Oh, it was another world then". No, it fucking wasn't. This was post Holocaust. People should have known better. They didn't. Yes, things have changed since then, but not that much. Some golf clubs are very inclusive, some aren't, though their worst crimes these days are probably sartorial.

Having said that, I don't hate golf, and I can't say I know anyone else who does - why waste the energy?
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
If you're trying to say that the Holocaust should have caused everyone to suddenly be terribly nice to Jews as they realised the error of 'their' ways, then you're asking the people who fought the Germans to immediately think "gosh, those Germans massacring Jews are exactly like us keeping them out of our clubs". Not going to happen.

It's also fairly ridiculous to think that golf clubs (as in organisations, not sticks) were any different from a myriad other ones. You're not describing 1960s golfing. You're describing 1960s culture.
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sober Preacher's Kid:
Golf is simply what curlers do in the warm months.

This is true. Both games may been invented in Scotland, but are played to death in Canada. Along with the bagpipes. If someone wanted to really have a good thread about something to hate from Scotland, bagpipes might be it.

Back to golf. Thankfully it's possible to play 9 for less than $20 at publically owned courses in many parts of the west. I do agree with the hate of golf when the fees for 18 top $200 or more. It's absolutely elitist and a rich person's activity then.

I also think it is hateful that golf courses dump chemicals and water than ends up in surface water.
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
It's also fairly ridiculous to think that golf clubs (as in organisations, not sticks) were any different from a myriad other ones. You're not describing 1960s golfing. You're describing 1960s culture.

Or 1990's culture. (Fife Symington was a Republican Governor of Arizona who was impeached and left the office in disgrace. Paradise Valley is a super wealthy suburb of Phoenix.)

[ 27. February 2013, 23:13: Message edited by: Pigwidgeon ]
 
Posted by Jon in the Nati (# 15849) on :
 
Firstly, this is a piss-weak hell thread. I thought the EE hell thread was weak, but this is worse.

Secondly, golf is maligned primarily by two groups of people: people who do not understand or appreciate the game, and people who see it as an elitist pastime.

The first group can be forgiven; there is no accounting for taste, really. Just because I enjoy playing golf does not mean another person will. I don't particularly care for cricket or boxing or mixed martial arts, but apparently some people like those things.

The second group are wrong.

As to golf-club culture: I don't pretend know what it is like in the UK, or in the most-exclusive private clubs in the United States, but most public and semi-private golf clubs are not significantly more exclusive or snobby or whatever than any other given organization. Not every golf club is Bushwood. Most people I know from the local golf club are decidedly middle class. Others' mileage may, of course, vary.

Also, this is a piss-weak hell thread.
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
You know it really depends. My folks live above a golf course and I live across the street from one; there's not a chance in hell that we could afford to take up the game at either of those two country clubs. (My home is on the "wrong side of the tracks," if you get that reference.) But I can imagine there are some municipal places where we could, if we only lived near enough. I just don't know of any in this metro area.

My son's school offers basic golf lessons after school, but the cost is again rather out of our reach. It's much more affordable to do track and field, or swimming, or tennis or something. I think in terms of cost golf is about two to three times as expensive as any of the other sports offered.
 
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
How many baseball/football/soccer pitches does southern California have that need watering?

Baseball, football and soccer fields are all a lot smaller than golf courses, and serve more people per acre.
 
Posted by HenryT (# 3722) on :
 
Metro Ottawa seems to have over 100 golf courses. Can't be hated that badly. That's around a course per thousand humans.

I've played a few office golf days. I enjoyed them. I can take it or leave it, myself. One course was quite pretty.

One local course's clubhouse is a frequent venue for big parties; such as 50th anniversary or the like. We have no serious water shortage most summers.
 
Posted by John Holding (# 158) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
oh look, a Heck Thread.

how cute.

Yeah, they're adorable when they first come in, with their bedraggled fur and wide little eyes.

But then they start eating all the food and leaving unpleasant messes all over the place for us to clean up. And you know that if we keep it, sooner or later we'll have to talk about neutering.

Are you suggesting you might confiscate his balls? Golf balls, I mean. Of course. What else could I mean.

John
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I think we're agreed then that golf played - as God intended- in the sterner and wilder parts of Caledonia as an eternal battle between humanity, landscape and the weather is fine.

But apart from that, it's ecological vandalism perpetrated by rich, sexist, fascist anti-Semites with the conversational allure of industrial solvent back labels and no taste.

Seems fair to me.
 
Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
It's also fairly ridiculous to think that golf clubs (as in organisations, not sticks) were any different from a myriad other ones. You're not describing 1960s golfing. You're describing 1960s culture.

No, blatant anti-semitism of the "No Jews allowed" type was not acceptable in the late 1960s, except of course for allegedly Christian institutions such as some schools, and in certain social circles things could be said: dodgy jokes, snide comments, that kind of thing. Of course, there was a spectrum (and still is); the point is that golf clubs were on the wrong end of it - and the suspicion is that, at the top end of the game, some of them still are. Living on the wrong side of the tracks does still mean something in certain circles, and those circles seem to overlap quite markedly with golfing circles.

No doubt there are lots of very nice people who play golf, and I gather that there's usually at least one club in every large town that tries to make golf accessible to all - but the suspicions of golf club culture that deano refers to are not unfounded. Having said that, objections to golf as a game are simply a matter of individual preference - 'silly way of spoiling a good walk' being a good example - but the idea that people hate the game is ridiculous.
 
Posted by Niteowl (# 15841) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:

They tolerated him (leftie peace, lover that he is) and he changed them a bit around him, but a more mean spirited, borderline alcoholic, repressed (Oh the clothes!) bigoted bunch of non thinking splutter-cocks I have never met.

He misses the golf (now his knees won’t let him play) not so much the endless clubhouse bullshit.

Fly Safe, Pyx_e

My father was one of the full blown alcoholic and bigoted men who hung out in the bar after the game. I was still trying (not sure why) to have a relationship with him when I played, but I refused to hang out with him in the bar afterward and didn't put up with the bigoted bullshit. Could be one reason why there was no relationship. I finally gave up on both the relationship and the game.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by QLib:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
It's also fairly ridiculous to think that golf clubs (as in organisations, not sticks) were any different from a myriad other ones. You're not describing 1960s golfing. You're describing 1960s culture.

No, blatant anti-semitism of the "No Jews allowed" type was not acceptable in the late 1960s, except of course...
Where to start, where to start...

Well, first off I agree with you that different parts of society were more or less progressive on such issues.

But I still think you're talking about culture, and as much as anything else I think you're talking about different age groups. Let's face it, golf is not generally thought of as a young person's game (although of course some people do start it young, otherwise we'd never have the professional ranks that we do - but I'm thinking in recreational terms). Among the people who've got time for a round of golf are lots of older people. And it is also a sport that people are capable of participating in when age/health prevents them from participating in some other sports.

I certainly don't think that the late 1960s were tremendously enlightened in general and golf was some particularly weird holdout. As occasionally discussed in Heaven, I'm watching 1960s Doctor Who at the moment. And in 1967 it was still apparently perfectly acceptable to air a story (Tomb of the Cybermen) where it's rather obvious that all the nasty characters have coloured skin and all the good characters are white. This is the same show that in some other stories (The War Machines from 1966 stands out) was tremendously keen to show how hip and aligned with youth culture it was.
 
Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :
 
I don't hate golf, I'm just bemused by it.

Why would anyone want to waste an entire day playing golf when you can have a game of crazy golf in half an hour* and then do something else? [Devil]

*Provided you don't get stuck under the windmill.
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Deano, you know and I know that all the way up Tapton Hill is a public golf course where anyone can play. You and I also, surely, know that this isn't the case everywhere and the country is littered with elitist little clubs where sit-com plots are hatched.

Golf itself is hated because, as has been stated already, it's fucking boring.
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
I can't believe some here are saying that it's interesting to watch. I can just about stomach playing it and used to at school, but watching it on TV is an abomination whic makes the Baby Jesus cry.
 
Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
I think everyone should like the things I like and hate the things I hate, and anyone who doesn't is WORSE THAN HITLER!!1!ONE!
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
But of course!
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
I can't believe some here are saying that it's interesting to watch. I can just about stomach playing it and used to at school, but watching it on TV is an abomination whic makes the Baby Jesus cry.

Each to their own. Personally I love watching the drama unfold during the four days of a major tournament.

But then, I like test match cricket as well. Maybe it's just that I have an attention span longer than thirty seconds and don't need constant intense action in order to be entertained.

Some people only have an interest in really simple, "kick-the-ball-then-run-after-it" sports. Others, like me, can appreciate the more cerebral ones. Ones like golf, where the choice of which club to use can be more important than the actual swing.
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
No, Marv, it's not that, since I like test cricket and loathe watching golf.
 
Posted by Niteowl (# 15841) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Each to their own. Personally I love watching the drama unfold during the four days of a major tournament.

But then, I like test match cricket as well. Maybe it's just that I have an attention span longer than thirty seconds and don't need constant intense action in order to be entertained.

Some people only have an interest in really simple, "kick-the-ball-then-run-after-it" sports. Others, like me, can appreciate the more cerebral ones. Ones like golf, where the choice of which club to use can be more important than the actual swing.

I've got a got a long attention span, I just fail to see any drama in Golf, including and especially a 4 day tournament. As I said, it's like watching paint dry. Which might have been entertaining when I was 20 and had just smoked some of the funny green stuff and spaced on just about anything when high.
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
quote:
But then, I like test match cricket as well. Maybe it's just that I have an attention span longer than thirty seconds and don't need constant intense action in order to be entertained.
Or maybe it needs to be very slow so the hard of thinking can keep up.

Fly Safe, Pyx-e
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
I can't believe some here are saying that it's interesting to watch. I can just about stomach playing it and used to at school, but watching it on TV is an abomination which makes the Baby Jesus cry.

Not in the age of digital receivers, skip and fast forward.

I suspect I also like watching golf because the strategy is eerily similar to one of my own sports, orienteering.

[ 28. February 2013, 10:13: Message edited by: orfeo ]
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
Hey Deno. Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
quote:
I suspect I also like watching golf because the strategy is eerily similar to one of my own sports, orienteering.
Getting lost in the rough?
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
SS, how do you kinow what golf club bars are like? Do you have personal experience? Or is it what I said - prejudice based on some fairy tale you've picked up?

If you had read my post you would have seen that I referred to membership-only golf clubs, not golf or even golfers.

I do have some practical and personal experience of these clubs. It was my misfortune to work for a few weeks in a Norfolk golf club of that kind. Imagine a "UKIP sports club" and you've got a fair idea what it was like.

----------------

On the subject of cricket and golf both being boring, the fundamental difference is that golf is between a player and the course while cricket is between players. But that's too obvious a difference for some to appreciate.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
I suspect I also like watching golf because the strategy is eerily similar to one of my own sports, orienteering.
Getting lost in the rough?
Effectively that's part of it, yes, as in both sports require consideration of the best route to the goal.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
SS, how do you kinow what golf club bars are like? Do you have personal experience? Or is it what I said - prejudice based on some fairy tale you've picked up?

If you had read my post you would have seen that I referred to membership-only golf clubs, not golf or even golfers.

I do have some practical and personal experience of these clubs. It was my misfortune to work for a few weeks in a Norfolk golf club of that kind. Imagine a "UKIP sports club" and you've got a fair idea what it was like.

----------------

On the subject of cricket and golf both being boring, the fundamental difference is that golf is between a player and the course while cricket is between players. But that's too obvious a difference for some to appreciate.

The UK Equality Act has made it illegal for any golf club to exclude people on gender, ethnicity, religious, sexual preference etc.

I understand a specific golf club can make itself exclusively male if the members vote for it, but that means there can be no ladies section etc, which virtually all clubs have. So clubs becoming all-male will lose revenue as they have to get rid of the lady members and their membership fee’s.

I believe that the large majority of membership clubs are now mixed sex. The number of all-male clubs is dwindling. They will all be mixed at some point.

In terms of bar attitudes, you get arseholes holding forth on their prejudices in any bar in the country! I reckon that even in Labour clubs, somebody will get onto a hobby horse after a few pints! That isn’t news, it’s just booze!

(I like cricket as well, but 5-day test is my preferred format. I think the world cup should be 20/20 for the group stages, ODI for the knockout stages and a 5-day test match for the final. Then the best team in the world really will have won)

[ 28. February 2013, 11:51: Message edited by: deano ]
 
Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :
 
This ad maybe highlights one of golf's premier PR problems! (I love the man's little face-pull at the end!)

Deano, well done to you and your son for finding an activity he can really get into, develop skills, away from computers, the indoors and the less attractive things youngsters can get into. I hope he does well and goes far!
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
and in one of those odd coincidences the name of the actor who plays “John” is Deano.
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I think the world cup should be 20/20 for the group stages, ODI for the knockout stages and a 5-day test match for the final. Then the best team in the world really will have won

I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I think the world cup should be 20/20 for the group stages, ODI for the knockout stages and a 5-day test match for the final. Then the best team in the world really will have won

I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
[Killing me]
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
I've never played but I saw a film about it once so I always assume that golf clubs are all like this one.

Standard golf club.
 
Posted by Sober Preacher's Kid (# 12699) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
I suspect I also like watching golf because the strategy is eerily similar to one of my own sports, orienteering.
Getting lost in the rough?
Effectively that's part of it, yes, as in both sports require consideration of the best route to the goal.
You know, in another context the sexual content of those posts might appear objectionable.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
That's twice in 5 minutes I've read someone claiming that my posts have sexual content, the other one being a reference to 'the Australian position' in Dead Horses. What is with you sick fucks around here?
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Spring fever.

And I'm not above it all, my Hitachi Wand is currently set on "Turbo."
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
Thanks for that picture.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
See, that's what I get for trying to find common ground.

Tell me you don't have a Hitachi Wand, George. Something sure seems to be jammed somewhere. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
That's twice in 5 minutes I've read someone claiming that my posts have sexual content, the other one being a reference to 'the Australian position' in Dead Horses. What is with you sick fucks around here?

Is it that the Northern hemisphere is only a month or so from spring?

Huia
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I'm sayin!
 
Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
I think my sistah in spirit needs to get laid.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Fine. Maybe I do. Sue me. [Big Grin]

Anyway according to Orfeo, I;m not the only one,
 
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
Good to see you bouncing back to good spirits Huia .
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
Sadly I own no wands of any kind but a friend did once show me her Harry Potter slash fiction does that count?
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Ohdeargod.
 
Posted by goperryrevs (# 13504) on :
 
No-one's linked to this yet, so I kind of feel like it's my duty to:

scene from Falling Down
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
See what you've started deano?
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by George Spigot:
See what you've started deano?

"Heck" thread my arse!
 
Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :
 
About three years ago, while I was still on the corporate treadmill, I was "encouraged" (as in you won't be considered for promotion unless) to put myself forward for membership of the local golf club. To join this club as a member you had to be proposed and seconded by existing members and yet the club was struggling for people. I asked why they didn't throw membership open to the general public and was told "we tried that once, somebody objected to us using <the n-word> when talking about Obama so that was the end of that". I withdrew my application and by mere coincidence got made redundant the same year. I now play at municipal courses or pay and plays where I don't need a handicap certificate.

Which brings me to the handicap certificate. To play on most non-municipal courses you need a signed handicap certificate from another golf club. It is a closed shop, you are either in the system and can play virtually anywhere or you are persona non grata and have to play at municipals. Club golfing and municipal golfing are two entirely different spheres separated by class and cash.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
I finally broke and Googled "Hitachi Wand".

Anyway, yes, to sum up what we've learned: some golfers are horrible elitist snobs who thoroughly deserve Michael Douglas pulling a shotgun on them. As a result, the game of golf itself gets tarred with negative associations that aren't justified, causing innocent municipal golfers in some parts of the world to suffer.

Also, the Ship is a haven for Northern Hemisphere perverts with dirty minds, but this is something we confirmed rather than learned.
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
I finally broke and Googled "Hitachi Wand".

@Kelly Our work here is done?

quote:
Also, the Ship is a haven for Northern Hemisphere perverts with dirty minds, but this is something we confirmed rather than learned.

My dirty mind is a constant source of solace.
 
Posted by Pulsator Organorum Ineptus (# 2515) on :
 
I still find it difficult to understand how in this day and age golf clubs can have both men and women as members, but the women aren't allowed on the course for part of each week. But that's how it seems to be in all the clubs around here.

I'm not interested in golf - I just looked on their websites in order to be appalled. And I was!
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Girls clearly have cooties.
 
Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :
 
It's a safety thing...women are terrible drivers <ducks>

[Devil]

[ 01. March 2013, 14:53: Message edited by: Bob Two-Owls ]
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
"Heck" thread my arse!

Just to clarify, is this part of sex tangent?

[ 01. March 2013, 15:54: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
 
Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Bob Two-Owls:
It's a safety thing...women are terrible drivers <ducks>

[Devil]

I think you'll find men are worse at putting because they will insist five inches are actualy nine.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Which is odd really, as golf has to be he least sexy sport on the planet. Oh, OK, bowls. And curling.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Which is odd really, as golf has to be he least sexy sport on the planet. Oh, OK, bowls. And curling.

I was going to add that darts is less sexy than all three but as ane fule kno, darts is not a sport.

(OTOH, chess isn't a sport either, but a game of chess can be immensely erotic.)
 
Posted by Sober Preacher's Kid (# 12699) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Which is odd really, as golf has to be he least sexy sport on the planet. Oh, OK, bowls. And curling.

The Canadian Ladies Rink has a few hotties.

I'd like them to hurry hard with *my* rocks. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Which is odd really, as golf has to be he least sexy sport on the planet. Oh, OK, bowls. And curling.

I was going to add that darts is less sexy than all three but as ane fule kno, darts is not a sport.

(OTOH, chess isn't a sport either, but a game of chess can be immensely erotic.)

Isn't there a school of thought that says the only sports are hunting, shooting and fishing and that the rest are just 'games'?
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
Absolute gnarf chewing nonsense about curling and sexiness.

Curlers Bare All For Calender (no questionable images in link)

Curling gets sexy (no questionable images in link)

http://www.theage.com.au/sport/winter-olympics/curling-gets-sexy-20100221-on8a.html:
quote:
Canada's John Morris, 31, was recently named as one of the country's most eligible bachelors by "Entertainment Tonight Canada" while US player Chris Plys, 22, was Entertainment Weekly's Olympic stud of the day.
And if you are really into it, you can find the reposts of past curling calenders, where curlers around world have bared it all for charity.
 
Posted by Porridge (# 15405) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

(OTOH, chess isn't a sport either, but a game of chess can be immensely erotic.)

T. S. Eliot certainly thought so. "The chair she sat in, like a burnished throne . . ."
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
(no questionable images in link)

How very disappointing.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Which is odd really, as golf has to be he least sexy sport on the planet. Oh, OK, bowls. And curling.

I was going to add that darts is less sexy than all three but as ane fule kno, darts is not a sport.

(OTOH, chess isn't a sport either, but a game of chess can be immensely erotic.)

Isn't there a school of thought that says the only sports are hunting, shooting and fishing and that the rest are just 'games'?
Yes, there is and within that only fly fishing is a sport! Everything else is "games and pastimes".
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
Ig golf isn't sexy, how come Rory Mcilroy is having it away with that sexy looking tennis player.

And how much crumpet did Tiger Woods get!!!

Golf babes know how to handle a wood!
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Ig golf isn't sexy, how come Rory Mcilroy is having it away with that sexy looking tennis player.

"Miss Wozniacki, what first attracted you to millionaire golfer Rory McIlroy?"
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
Getting plenty AND rich! Sweet.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Ig golf isn't sexy, how come Rory Mcilroy is having it away with that sexy looking tennis player.

And how much crumpet did Tiger Woods get!!!

Golf babes know how to handle a wood!

Have you seen Rory's recent form? On the course that is. Opinions vary as to whether his new clubs or GF affect him most.
 
Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :
 
Some typical right-wing, nut-job golfers.

Bunch of fascists, the lot of 'em.
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Che may have been a good general, but from the look of that photo he couldn't putt for shit.
 
Posted by ExclamationMark (# 14715) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Absolute gnarf chewing nonsense about curling and sexiness.

Curlers Bare All For Calender (no questionable images in link)

Curling gets sexy (no questionable images in link)

http://www.theage.com.au/sport/winter-olympics/curling-gets-sexy-20100221-on8a.html :
quote:
Canada's John Morris, 31, was recently named as one of the country's most eligible bachelors by "Entertainment Tonight Canada" while US player Chris Plys, 22, was Entertainment Weekly's Olympic stud of the day.
And if you are really into it, you can find the reposts of past curling calenders, where curlers around world have bared it all for charity.
Curling? Bowls on ice, that says it all. A waste of a good brush.
 
Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Zach82:
quote:
Why on Earth is the game of golf hated?
Because it's fucking boring?
As Furio Giunta once said : "Stupid-a fucking game."
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
I think any bigotry found amongst golfers is not because they are golfer, but because they are bigots.

I would hazard a guess that in a bar or pub following the playing of any sport, whether football, cricket, basketball or baseball, you will find your fair share or bigotted arseholes in roughly the same proportions as in golf club bars.

This is about money. Golf is seen as a rich man's game - it isn't - and so a certain part of society hates golf and golfers because they percieve them as wealthy, and that certain part of society hates wealthy people.

That's all it boils down to, class and income envy amongst lefties.

Get over it!
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I think any bigotry found amongst golfers is not because they are golfer, but because they are bigots.

I would hazard a guess that in a bar or pub following the playing of any sport, whether football, cricket, basketball or baseball, you will find your fair share or bigotted arseholes in roughly the same proportions as in golf club bars.

This is about money. Golf is seen as a rich man's game - it isn't - and so a certain part of society hates golf and golfers because they percieve them as wealthy, and that certain part of society hates wealthy people.

That's all it boils down to, class and income envy amongst lefties.

Get over it!

Golf is a rich person's sport. This does not mean middle class cannot play, but they are not on an equal footing.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
My clubs cost £100 from Sports Direct. How much does decent fishing tackle cost?

Membership fee's? How much is a season ticket to Chelsea?

It isn't a rich man's sport unless you are a fifties throwback!
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
My clubs cost £100 from Sports Direct. How much does decent fishing tackle cost?

Membership fee's? How much is a season ticket to Chelsea?

It isn't a rich man's sport unless you are a fifties throwback!

deano, I've already pointed out that municipal courses and membership-only clubs are totally different entities. Others have done this too and you persist in ignoring this!

It isn't a rich man's sport, but it's very much "the right kind of chap's" sport, and if you aren't of that type, you won't even get to find out what the membership fee is.

Unless you've been banned from their ground anyone, from any class and of any gender, race or religion, can buy a season ticket for a Premiership football club (although I believe a few have waiting lists).
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Not to mention that Deano lives in a town that even I, a non-golfer, knows has a notoriously good municipal golf course where anyone can play. I just cycle through it.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
But it is still a rich man's sport. How many poor, urban children end up playing professionally? Contrast this to football, rugby, etc. How many municipal players get to play the clubs where business deals are made?
Yes, middle class people can afford the kit and find courses to play, doesn't change that the majority of the courses are not available to everyone.

Does this make golf and golfers bad or evil? No.


Though some of the attire might be.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
That's all it boils down to, class and income envy amongst lefties.

Get over it!

How about you get over your kneejerk association with a particular wing of politics?
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
My clubs cost £100 from Sports Direct. How much does decent fishing tackle cost?


When was the last time somebody bought up 140 acres of dedicated ocean space that you had to pay to use?
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
deano, I've already pointed out that municipal courses and membership-only clubs are totally different entities. Others have done this too and you persist in ignoring this!

It isn't a rich man's sport, but it's very much "the right kind of chap's" sport, and if you aren't of that type, you won't even get to find out what the membership fee is.

Unless you've been banned from their ground anyone, from any class and of any gender, race or religion, can buy a season ticket for a Premiership football club (although I believe a few have waiting lists).

And I’ve already told you that in Britain it’s illegal for a club to discriminate on those grounds, so you really should be dropping your objections to golf – membership or municipal – if that’s your only argument.

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

How about you get over your kneejerk association with a particular wing of politics?

Motes… eyes… ring any bells?

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

When was the last time somebody bought up 140 acres of dedicated ocean space that you had to pay to use?

That’s the same for any sporting area though. The local sports centre was built in land they bought and now they charge people to use their football pitches. It’s not specific to golf, but to any activity which occupies some land and which is charged for. I have to pay to use a car park, but that land has been bought up by someone.

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
But it is still a rich man's sport. How many poor, urban children end up playing professionally? Contrast this to football, rugby, etc. How many municipal players get to play the clubs where business deals are made?
Yes, middle class people can afford the kit and find courses to play, doesn't change that the majority of the courses are not available to everyone.

But again you are displaying your lack of familiarity with the game. In Scotland it is not a middle-class sport, it is the sport of regular people from all walks of life.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
<snip>

And I’ve already told you that in Britain it’s illegal for a club to discriminate on those grounds, so you really should be dropping your objections to golf – membership or municipal – if that’s your only argument.


It may be illegal, but if members have to be proposed and seconded by current members it will keep a "closed shop" in place. How many members would be willing to put up for membership anyone who might be felt to be an undesirable presence in the 19th hole?

quote:

In Scotland it is not a middle-class sport, it is the sport of regular people from all walks of life.

That is Scotland, the home of golf, not far more class-ridden England.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

How about you get over your kneejerk association with a particular wing of politics?

Motes… eyes… ring any bells?

Yeah. I'd say there was something in your eye that's seriously affecting your ability to read, given that I'm a left-leaning bloke with working class origins who's been supporting your viewpoint on this thread. You berk.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
But again you are displaying your lack of familiarity with the game. In Scotland it is not a middle-class sport, it is the sport of regular people from all walks of life.

I'd not ignore Scotland, but you are not playing there. And Scotland is pretty much the exception, as one would expect.

Understand, I do not hate golf. I've my own set of clubs and everything. I simply disagree that it is an every persons sport in most of the world.
 
Posted by St. Punk the Pious (# 683) on :
 
I've quit the game three times (or is it four?), and the last time stuck. So I have something of a love/hate relationship with the game. [Smile]

I do hate some of the rules. The lost ball rule is absurd and rightly ignored by many amateurs. That you can't move a ball out of a fairway divot is another one I detest.

I like to have the majors such as the Open on. Makes catching up with paperwork tolerable. Otherwise, I don't pay golf much attention now.

Oh, funny story - I did work hard on my game when I did play, but with mixed results. But once I topped a ball badly on the tee of a Par 3. It rolled and rolled and rolled . . . right into the hole for my only ace. All that work and my only ace was pure luck. [Smile] (I did have my moments that were not luck, but I won't brag.)
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
A hole in one is always luck. The better the golfer, the better the chance; but always chance.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by St. Punk the Pious:


I do hate some of the rules. The lost ball rule is absurd and rightly ignored by many amateurs. That you can't move a ball out of a fairway divot is another one I detest.


You have to remember that the rules are set by the Royal and Ancient Golf Club, at St Andrews. Never forget that the most Scottish of games is governed by a Scottish body. Do you think they would do anything to make it simple? To make it easy? I expect the custodians of the rules think "What would John Knox do?" when they are asked for an interpretation.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by St. Punk the Pious:
I do hate some of the rules. The lost ball rule is absurd and rightly ignored by many amateurs. That you can't move a ball out of a fairway divot is another one I detest.

Not sure which lost ball rule you mean. The juniors are taught to play a provisional ball if there is any doubt, then to go and look for it. If the original ball is found then great, if not, play the provisional and take the penalty.

The only time they get annoyed is when the original ball is found but in a bad lie and they want to play the provisional anyway. Sorry kiddo!
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by St. Punk the Pious:


I do hate some of the rules. The lost ball rule is absurd and rightly ignored by many amateurs. That you can't move a ball out of a fairway divot is another one I detest.


You have to remember that the rules are set by the Royal and Ancient Golf Club, at St Andrews. Never forget that the most Scottish of games is governed by a Scottish body. Do you think they would do anything to make it simple? To make it easy? I expect the custodians of the rules think "What would John Knox do?" when they are asked for an interpretation.
It's been observed that the Scottish stereotype is disproven by the fact that they invented a game where it's so easy to lose the ball.

/coat etc.
 
Posted by St. Punk the Pious (# 683) on :
 
Very good, Karl. [Big Grin]

My problem with the lost ball rule is that it punishes the golfer more (stroke AND distance) than if he had hit into a water hazard. And sometimes a ball can be lost after shots that aren't that bad. I remember losing a ball in a field mainly because it was so big and lacked landmarks.

I'm not Scottish, btw.
 
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
I think the answer is to make golf balls with GPS chips and to carry a hand held detector. It ain't the 15th century, you know.
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
I think the answer is to make golf balls with GPS chips and to carry a hand held detector. It ain't the 15th century, you know.

Or even better, fit a homing device so that the ball can find its own way into the hole without anyone needing to hit it. That would save everyone a lot of bother.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
I think the answer is to make golf balls with GPS chips and to carry a hand held detector. It ain't the 15th century, you know.

Brilliant! You need to pass this idea on to Titleist et al to do this. RFID chips will be better as they will not only allow lost balls to be found, but if they are plugged they can be identified without having to handle them.

I don't mind the lost ball rule. To be honest the rule we tend to let the juniors break more than anything - and it's a function of playing in England - is that when the bunkers are flooded out we allow them to drop the ball without penalty outside of the bunker. It's just too frustrating for them otherwise.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Nice idea, but currently impractical. Between the technical limitations and cost it is unlikely at the moment.
And would Titleist make more from the added cost of the RFID chip, or replacing the lost balls?

BTW, Spike, that was funny.
 
Posted by Jolly Jape (# 3296) on :
 
The thing about golf is that it combines the worst features of both "working class" and "upper class" sports. For example, football is devoid of snobbery, but taken far too seriously, whilst, say, polo, though full of snobbery and exclusivity, is not really taken seriously at all. Golf manages to combine all the snobbery of the second with the "more serious than life and death" approach of the first. Plus, what Karl said.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jolly Jape:
The thing about golf is that it combines the worst features of both "working class" and "upper class" sports. For example, football is devoid of snobbery, but taken far too seriously, whilst, say, polo, though full of snobbery and exclusivity, is not really taken seriously at all. Golf manages to combine all the snobbery of the second with the "more serious than life and death" approach of the first. Plus, what Karl said.

Bollocks!

Do you mean ALL golf in EVERY country, or do you want to qualify it and also explain your experience of the sport so we can more accuratly judge whether your opinion is worthy of attention.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
do you want to qualify it and also explain your experience of the sport so we can more accuratly judge whether your opinion is worthy of attention.

You first. AFAIR you don't play and your opinions are founded on your sons access to an not necessarily typical public course.

If you can launch into specious generalisations on that basis, why not the rest of us?
 
Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
quote:
Originally posted by Jolly Jape:
The thing about golf is that it combines the worst features of both "working class" and "upper class" sports. For example, football is devoid of snobbery, but taken far too seriously, whilst, say, polo, though full of snobbery and exclusivity, is not really taken seriously at all. Golf manages to combine all the snobbery of the second with the "more serious than life and death" approach of the first. Plus, what Karl said.

....Do you mean ALL golf in EVERY country, or do you want to qualify it and also explain your experience of the sport so we can more accuratly judge whether your opinion is worthy of attention.
Actually, I'm quite happy judging it on the basis of my own experience* and I guess most other people are too. What? You think there's some kind of objective measure of how good/bad golf is? You need to spend more time with Evensong.

* [Big Grin] incidentally.
 
Posted by HenryT (# 3722) on :
 
I'm surprised no one has linked to the Robin Williams monolog on the invention of golf. He suggests it was invented by a bunch of drunken Scots, and then everyone took it seriously.
 


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