Ship of Fools: Bad Trinity

Thread: Bad Trinity Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by TurquoiseTastic (# 8978) on :

Trinity Sunday is a time for shamrocks, a time for Neapolitan ice-cream, a time for even dodgier analogies that purport to explain the Trinity in simple terms but which on not-very-close inspection turn out to be basically Modalism, tritheism or "something else".

I once nearly preached a sermon saying that the Trinity was like those teenagers in "Battle Of The Planets" ("G-Force" to youngsters or "Gatchaman" to manga aficionados) who could assemble themselves together into a fiery phoenix - "Dedicated, Inseparable, Invincible".

Unfortunately - well, fortunately, really - I realised just in time that

a) there were five of them
b) that a) wasn't even the main problem

So what is the worst "explanation" of the Trinity you have ever encountered?

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

I once heard a sermon by a priest who admitted he'd been listening to the basketball play-offs the day before when he should have been preparing his sermon. He compared the Holy Trinity to our city's basketball team. (Nope, it didn't work.)
[Disappointed]

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

quote:
Originally posted by TurquoiseTastic:
Trinity Sunday is a time for shamrocks, a time for Neapolitan ice-cream, a time for even dodgier analogies that purport to explain the Trinity in simple terms but which on not-very-close inspection turn out to be basically Modalism, tritheism or "something else".

At the risk of heading for Purgatory, isn't that telling us something?

quote:
I once nearly preached a sermon saying that the Trinity was like those teenagers in "Battle Of The Planets" ("G-Force" to youngsters or "Gatchaman" to manga aficionados) who could assemble themselves together into a fiery phoenix - "Dedicated, Inseparable, Invincible".

I so want to hear that sermon...

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:

quote:
Originally posted by TurquoiseTastic:
Trinity Sunday is a time for shamrocks, a time for Neapolitan ice-cream, a time for even dodgier analogies that purport to explain the Trinity in simple terms but which on not-very-close inspection turn out to be basically Modalism, tritheism or "something else".
At the risk of heading for Purgatory, isn't that telling us something?

That it's a difficult concept and people are too intellectually lazy to get it right?

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
It's a difficult concept and people are too intellectually lazy to get it right?

It's intellectual laziness that after two thousand years of kicking the idea about, no-one can give a straightforward explanation of it?

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
It's a difficult concept and people are too intellectually lazy to get it right?
It's intellectual laziness that after two thousand years of kicking the idea about, no-one can give a straightforward explanation of it?

One God. Three Persons. Next?

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

The premise of this thread is that (a) that concept needs explaining, and (b) most of the time the explanation is crap.

Your turn.

Posted by TurquoiseTastic (# 8978) on :

Well... that isn't really the premise of this thread... this is more a "point and laugh" sort of thread... or a "chuckle in a tolerant manner" thread if you are especially fluffy.

There is already a thriving Purg thread on the Trinity I think?

I did try to rescue my sermon BTW by making it about the Church instead of the Trinity. I asked a Catholic friend whether he thought it was OK to call the Church "Dedicated, Inseparable, Invincible" and he said that it would be much better to call it "One, Holy and Apostolic".

Only about three people heard the sermon and the only feedback I got was "Well... it went on... a WHILE...."

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

Apologies. I didn't intend to hijack your thread!

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

Dodgy explanation of the Trinity? Not the genuine article, but has anyone seen Nuns on the Run? I can't remember the details and the youtube clip is being blocked I assume for copyright reasons, but the scene where Robbie Coltrane tries to explain it to a class of curious 17-year-old girls is the epitome of dodgy.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
Dodgy explanation of the Trinity? Not the genuine article, but has anyone seen Nuns on the Run? I can't remember the details and the youtube clip is being blocked I assume for copyright reasons, but the scene where Robbie Coltrane tries to explain it to a class of curious 17-year-old girls is the epitome of dodgy.

I had just thought of that! I can't find it on Youtube, but the dialogue is here (scroll down a bit).

Posted by OddJob (# 17591) on :

I think I'm correct in saying that the sport of cricket was devised as a means of explaining the Trinity. You decide if it's good or bad.

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by OddJob:
... the sport of cricket was devised as a means of explaining the Trinity ...

You mean this explains it? [Confused]

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

I think the link to "St Patrick's bad analogies" (from "Lutheran Satire") on the anlicanmemes website is excellent - perhaps it ought to be on the Purg thread.

Posted by St. Stephen the Stoned (# 9841) on :

I can't find the exact quote, but in Alan Bennett's 40 Years On, the boys satirise the Headmaster's RE lesson something like this:

The Trinity? Three in one, one in three. Perfectly straightforward! If you want to know any more, ask your maths teacher.

Works for me, although I'm no good at maths.

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