Thread: Sensitive topics? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Beautiful Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
I love how the Ship has a generally light-hearted, not-too-serious tone at times. We can laugh at ourselves, but are there things you are particularly sensitive about? Things that, while most other things are fine, you really don't like being picked on about?


For me, it's my driving. I'm not a good driver and will only do it if I absolutely have to. I don't mind when my husband or some of my longtime friends mentions something, but I got really annoyed when someone mentioned it in front of a group of our friends and suggested that my driving instruction "didn't work". She says shit like this about everyone, but there are some people who are so critical about everything that I will *not* drive in the car with if I don't have to. I'll take criticism or jokes lightly about everything else but that. I don't know why.

My husband is also a self-depricating type, but "mama jokes" (not just about his!) bother him because of some family issues. My friend doesn't mind when I joke about anti-depressants because I take them too, but she doesn't want anyone else to know because of how she thinks they'll comment.

Do you have any particularly sensitive issues? You might kid about anything else, but some topics really bother you?
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I think I bitched about this on TICTH once, I hate, hate, hate when someone repeated a one-liner of mine right in front of me without giving me a nod. Even a secret wink would do it.

It's kind of mollified when the person in question actually laughs at the joke in the first place, but is particularly galling when the person sniffs at the joke, comment, whatever as if it was the dumbest thing ever said, then trot it out at a dinner party, or whatever. If I'm too much of a loser to appreciate, then I am too much of a loser to poach from, right?

My ex husband was the absolute king of pissing on my jokes in private and then trotting them out for company, and I had a Facebook friend who used to only--ONLY-- ever comment on anything I posted if there was a mistake to point out or a fight to pick, but went through this phase of lifting entire lines of commentary I had written and planting them in their status updates. Pitiful. Luckily it was only temporary weirdness-- a couple years, say-- but I always wanted to ask, "Clearly you think I am brilliant, so why is it when you actually talk to me you do so as if I were the village idiot?"

But obviously these are actions that should inspire pity rather than wrath, and the amount it annoys me suggests narcissistic preoccupation I need work on.

[ 24. October 2013, 20:22: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 

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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
My ex husband was the absolute king of pissing on my jokes in private and then trotting them out for company...

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Kelly, I didn't realize you and I had both been married to the same creep. As soon as I read your first paragraph he immediately came to mind (unfortunately).
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Pathetic. I mean, when does pride kick in?
 

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Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
I find myself not very happy when those who know that noises such as fans, dishwashers or the rumble of many conversations around us, tell me that I'm not listening or paying attention. I cannot hear properly and, if close friends or if family, they know I've had the hearing testing that proves it. I have started to pre-emptively say that I am unable to hear above the background noise.
 

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Posted by Try (# 4951) on :
 
Teasing about the fact that I'm have any steryotypically nerdy or gay trait, even in good fun, is sure to hit my beserk button. It brings me back to Jr. High, which was an absolutely miserable period of my life.
 

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Posted by Amorya (# 2652) on :
 
I suspect this is true for many people, but I can't stand it when someone implies I shouldn't have attempted something, or I should have known it's too difficult. If I've failed at something, the only appropriate response is "That sucks, I hope you do better next time".
 

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Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
I'm extremely hard of hearing, and it irritates me beyond belief when people do not take my-sometimes-not-so-gentle hints to speak up, or look at me when they are talking. Or assume that, if I have a hearing aid in my right ear, it is OK to shout in my left. That doesn't work well either, since I have only sound distinction in my left. Or ignore a proffered notebook in which to write their part of the conversation. That being said, my close friends and family can say anything they want, and it doesn't bother me. Anyone else will get the rough side of my tongue.

I hate noisy environments and only go when not to go would be more impolite.
 

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Posted by Porridge (# 15405) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by PeteC:
I'm extremely hard of hearing, and it irritates me beyond belief when people do not take my-sometimes-not-so-gentle hints to speak up, or look at me when they are talking. Or assume that, if I have a hearing aid in my right ear, it is OK to shout in my left. That doesn't work well either, since I have only sound distinction in my left. Or ignore a proffered notebook in which to write their part of the conversation. That being said, my close friends and family can say anything they want, and it doesn't bother me. Anyone else will get the rough side of my tongue.

I hate noisy environments and only go when not to go would be more impolite.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
My ex husband was the absolute king of pissing on my jokes in private and then trotting them out for company...

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Kelly, I didn't realize you and I had both been married to the same creep.

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...and I dated him. And what's more, he didn't even repeat them *well*.

[ 25. October 2013, 00:26: Message edited by: Beautiful Dreamer ]
 

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Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
I don't tolerate racist/sexist/classist/homophobic talk, even if supposedly in jest; and jokes about sexual abuse, particularly of children, turn me into a pea-soup spewing psycho bitch.

otherwise, I'm pretty much game for anything.
 

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Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
Not entirely sure that a thread about what really annoys or upsets us is very Heavenly!

Anyway, I hate it when people (Usually men...) make jokes about women with beards or facial hair.
I've even heard it from the front of church.

Those of us women who have a common hormone imbalance (PCOS) frequently have to spend a lot of time and effort to meet your expectations of women's faces being free of hair. It is horrible. It undermines your sense of attractiveness, femininity and self-esteem. It damages your skin. It makes you envy those women who wake up every morning with a smooth face. I very much hope my daughter has not inherited this particular set of genes.

So yeah, you can go stick your jokes about bearded women, I'm not laughing and I doubt the many other women affected by this are either.

[ 25. October 2013, 06:32: Message edited by: Lucia ]
 

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Posted by Beautiful Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
Comet that bugs me too.
Actually, the spewing pea soup might be a *good* thing, since the soup would be made from the brains of the people
who make those comments. Assuming they're even *that* big, that is.
 

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Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
I am dypraxic and my handwriting is appalling. Most of the time I will joke with poeple first and say you won't be able to read it. BUT if my OH or anybody who knows me comments about my writing I get very upset..
 

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Posted by Fineline (# 12143) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
I am dypraxic and my handwriting is appalling. Most of the time I will joke with poeple first and say you won't be able to read it. BUT if my OH or anybody who knows me comments about my writing I get very upset..

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quote:

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Originally posted by Fineline:

quote:

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Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
I am dypraxic and my handwriting is appalling. Most of the time I will joke with poeple first and say you won't be able to read it. BUT if my OH or anybody who knows me comments about my writing I get very upset..

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Oddly, I'm the opposite. I am happy for people who know me well and know I have Aspergers to joke around with me about, say, my taking things literally, or my lack of reading between the lines. I enjoy laughing at myself. But if someone who doesn't know me or know I have Aspergers comments on it, then I get upset. But then it depends how they do it - people who don't know me can be quite hostile or sneering about it, assuming that I'm either stupid or being deliberately dense, whereas those who know me are joking in a friendly way. I guess I'm more sensitive about intent than topic. And I hate being misinterpreted.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
It is not when they tease - sometimes OH and others will get impatient with things like my shopping lists..

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Ah yes, I know what you mean. I find it hard when people are impatient with me for things I can't help - it makes me feel somehow as if I'm inferior to other people.
 

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Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Don't mind me. I'm just taking notes on how to wind y'all up on the off chance that any of you decide to argue against me on a Hell thread...
 

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Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
I am over sensitive to criticism full stop.

I don't show it and laugh it off etc, but bother myself about it when I get home Eventually, after having a long conversation with myself, I work out if the criticism is warranted or not and either ignore it or do something about it.

But at the time I curl up and die inside
 

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Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
Don't y'all worry that a thread saying my buttons are here, here and here might leave you a tad vulnerable in cyberspace ?

Maybe I am just paranoid
 

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Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
Thread count.
 

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Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
I'm not worried about people knowing my hot button issue, because it is evident from things I have posted. I am sensitive to terms that denigrate people with intellectually disabilities, which I consider every bit as offensive as terms used about skin colour and homophobia. I am also sensitive about sexual assault and violence in general, which are less dependent on specific word choices.
 

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Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
And as my hot button is my handwriting, I don't think cyberspace matters...
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by mousethief:
Thread count.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Don't mind me. I'm just taking notes on how to wind y'all up on the off chance that any of you decide to argue against me on a Hell thread...

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Bring It On, Alien boy.

I enjoy a good excuse to release the screaming monster. It's so therapeutic!
 

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Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :
 
Age jokes, and remarks. I am fine with us silver haired lot laughing among and about ourselves, but young people making fun of my older generation gets me upset. I also do not like people who call me dear, honey and sweetie. I am not a child.
 

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Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Don't mind me. I'm just taking notes on how to wind y'all up on the off chance that any of you decide to argue against me on a Hell thread...

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quote:

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Originally posted by Doublethink:
Don't y'all worry that a thread saying my buttons are here, here and here might leave you a tad vulnerable in cyberspace ?

Maybe I am just paranoid

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quote:

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Originally posted by Graven Image:
Age jokes, and remarks. I am fine with us silver haired lot laughing among and about ourselves, but young people making fun of my older generation gets me upset.

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Fear not - they will get their turn at being old (if they are lucky!). Which is exactly what I say to any youngsters making ageist remarks.


 

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Posted by Fineline (# 12143) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Doublethink:
Don't y'all worry that a thread saying my buttons are here, here and here might leave you a tad vulnerable in cyberspace ?

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quote:

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Originally posted by L'organist:
Casual anti-semitism really winds me up: I can't stand it and will always plunge in to challenge it. Possibly to do with having Jewish cousins, and also because I have friends who lost most of their family in the camps.

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That's my hot button as well, stemming from attending a private high school with lots of Jewish students. The closest I have ever been to slugging someone (no exaggeration, it took some real effort to fight off blind rage) was a guy I worked with one winter who didn't know why I had tried to go out of my way to help a man who was, in the co-workers opinion, "acting like such a Jew," whatever that meant.

One of the oddest moments I have ever experienced was at a driver's education class I took at the local public school, when a group of guys approached me, pointed at their friend, and said "this guy hates Jews." I don't know if they thought I was Jewish or what (hard mistake to make as I have very blond hair), but I just figured they assumed something because of my school, and got the hell out of there.
 

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Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :
 
Teasing me about my voice shaking or stuttering, occasionally. Or, when I mispronounce a word. That's a REALLY big deal in my immediate family. We were raised to sneer disdainfully at friends or relatives who misspelled words or mispronounce them but sometimes I do mispronounce something and there's a family member, eager to scream with laughter at my blundering idiocy.
 

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Posted by Beautiful Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
I am dypraxic and my handwriting is appalling. Most of the time I will joke with poeple first and say you won't be able to read it. BUT if my OH or anybody who knows me comments about my writing I get very upset..

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My handwriting has always been awful too. I never did that "girly-girl" print that of us saw in junior high.

I once had a teacher ask, "can you write better?" when I asked to go to the bathroom. No lie.

Sometimes I make fun of it the same way you do, but other times it gets on my nerves. A lot depends on who it is that made the comment, though. There are just some people who can bother us doing things that would be fine coming from anyone else. Odd, that.
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
My brethren. I have huge handwriting shame. I hate in-class essay exams. I just yesterday offerer to stay after class to read sections of an exam aloud if need be. She said she would give it a crack and get back to me. I was mortified by the look of doomed resignation on her face.

Area of sensitivity-- when I am at an event/ in a situation that is supposed to be community-oriented or team building, and I sees someone being shoved to the periphery. Including me, but it doesn't have to be me.
 

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Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
In general, I like to think I don't have sensitive topics. Which can't really be true, of course.

This is not so much a sensitive topic as a pet peeve, I think, that I've noticed from time to time and have noticed again recently. It's when I make a mistake, whether due to forgetfulness, a brain fart, or just fumbling something, and someone responds by explaining the whole thing to me as if the reason I made the mistake was lack of understanding or knowledge. Sometimes my abilities are just limited. Knowing something, or about something, doesn't render me, or anyone else, perfect re: that something.

I can't give a very concrete example at the moment, but recently it came up when I simply forgot to do something at work (filling in on a weekday, and I'm normally not there on weekdays, so I'm not used to their rhythm) and a coworker not only pointed it out and told me to do it (yes, told me to do it, as if he were my boss), he also explained why it needed to be done. All via email copied to several parties, of course. I should be able to let that slide right off me, but for some reason, that added bit of explaining things really tries my patience. In this instance, because my mood was unstable, I lost it completely.

Maybe it's because I've always tended to catch on to the ideas behind things pretty easily, and so having them explained to me becomes tedious. Maybe I hate when people assume I'm ignorant. Maybe both, maybe something else I can't put my finger on. The fact that it's condescending and patronizing? I don't know. But that's a huge pet peeve of mine.
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Oh, yeah. That, too.
 

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Posted by que sais-je (# 17185) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer:

For me, it's my driving. I'm not a good driver

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