quote:

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Originally posted by Galilit:
We should probably be living like that ALL the time actually.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
I would buy a lot of wine, and drink a great deal.

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quote:

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Just for clarity, lets assume you have an illness that doesn't really have significant impact, as long as you continue to live you current life.

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In other words, a "brain cloud".

Well, if I had a bit more money, I'd come to the UK and hit all the shipmeets that would put up with me plus go to lots and lots of Evensongs and other musical events.

I'd also book an eleven day cruise from San Francisco to Alaska and back.

And after doing all that for myself I'd stop being a selfish schlub and pay attention to my friends and the state of my soul.
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I would just. write.
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
If I were given one year to live by my local hospital I'd move very swiftly to ensure my affairs were in order because they tend to be over-optimistic (or crap at their job, take your pick): generally they over-state by about 4 to 5 times...
 

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Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:

quote:

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Originally posted by Galilit:
We should probably be living like that ALL the time actually.

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I don't know- it is sometimes the more mundane moments of my life that end up being the most satisfying.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
I might travel a bit but basically I'd want to stay most round here and be with the people I love.

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Indeed, if I had a year to live, I would wish the last 4 months to be in India.
 

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Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on :
 
I'd spend as much time as possible with my grandchildren, taking them to places I've loved and trying to give them happy memories.

When my Father knew he was dying he did something similar, he spent the whole summer and much of the autumn taking my brother and myself out nearly every day until he got too ill to drive. At the time I found it frustrating and longed to spend a quiet day in the garden occasionally but I didn't realise he was dying, I was only 15 and he had had health problems for as long as I could remember so I assumed he would come through this as well. Looking back I am grateful to him for that summer of memories. He also had many deep conversations with me, the significance of which did not occur to me until afterwards.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
After the practical stuff which Heavenly Anarchist mentions I would set out on a tour of The World's Best Restaurants (not excluding Deli's, coffee shops, street food stalls; heck, how much can one man eat in twelve months?)

I wouldn't use guidebooks much, but get some local knowledge.

It could even, in some way, turn into a serial shipmeet, so people could find out what I'm really like before the bowdlerised version is presented at my funeral!
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
I'm already acting on the assumption that life is short, so am making an effort to get off the fence and try a variety of new things, or old things in a new way, and savouring the moment. It's all any of us can do really. The Eurostar trip will hopefully come later.
 

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Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on :
 
I would give up my job but stay in touch to write the software that we so desperately need. That way I will be at home with my family all the time. I may or may not finish the job.
 

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Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
As has been pointed out elsewhere, your in tray is never empty when you die, but I would keep working and try to get my students through their exams before shoving off this mortal coil. Then I would have a round of farewell visits, sit in my garden and watch the birds squabbling for precedence at the seed feeder, and drink.
 

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Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
Spend all my savings on foreign holidays.

But people have done that and then found out that their diagnosis was wrong and they continue to live in penury.
 

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Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
It's not All Saints but ...ken .
 

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Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :
 
for ken.

Basically, what Og said. I would also waste less time on the Internet so I could play more boardgames and go on outings with Daughter and Other Half.
 

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Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
Exactly one year ago I was told I had an incurable cancer. At first I thought it meant I'd bought the ticket and the train was leaving. Mostly it meant confusion, but reason kicked in, and as Schroedinger's Cat recommended, we made sure there was a good supply of wine at all times.

In the event, the medics never gave me any time to think about it, and they rushed me off my feet for six months while they messed with my body. I still had a major project to finish, so when I got back on my feet I had to finish that, and before it was over I had two more to do. I did a fair amount of writing too, but mostly unpublishable. Right now, I haven't got time to think about dying, and probably won't get around to it for quite a long time.

My response to the OP is: carry on doing what you need to do and like to do. Don't pay more attention to death than is necessary until it's staring you in the face, and even then, get a second opinion. And keep a good stock of wine.
 

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Posted by Ethne Alba (# 5804) on :
 
Find a way to live very close to the coast for the whole year
 

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Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :
 
Unless your plan is to max out your credit card limits in exactly one year, the best plan is to do what you want to do, simplify your estate and cherish your family and friends.

The annoying follow up question is: What would you do if you only had two years to live, or ten, or fifty? I can see not doing long range projects like having children or planting topiary but the harder part of the question is; if you know how you want to live if you only have one year, why don't you live that way even if you would live longer.
 

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Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ethne Alba:
Find a way to live very close to the coast for the whole year

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
It's not All Saints but ...ken .

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quote:

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Originally posted by Palimpsest:
...if you know how you want to live if you only have one year, why don't you live that way even if you would live longer.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Palimpsest:
...if you know how you want to live if you only have one year, why don't you live that way even if you would live longer.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:

quote:

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Originally posted by Palimpsest:
...if you know how you want to live if you only have one year, why don't you live that way even if you would live longer.

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I think you have it absolutely right.

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I think there is a point there, and I did say that I would try to do the visiting things. The drinking thing would just become a self-fullfiller. That is something I would only do to numb the pain.

Most other things I do try to live like that anyway. But this really is about focusing on the special stuff - selfish or otherwise.

And Ken - really sorry to hear this. Prayers with you.
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
I'd be unlikely to tell anybody until it became unavoidable. I wouldn't want a fuss and I'd want people to behave just as normally: all the joys and woes and petty squabbles that make up what real life is.

There's always going to be something that you leave unfinished. Nobody, anywhere, ever lives life perfectly. I'd aim, though, not to be on bad terms with anyone before I left; even if we're no longer in touch I'd like that to be without rancour, just a sense of having moved on and accepted that we don't agree on some issues, and that nobody ever agrees perfectly with everyone on everything anyway.

And I know this isn't particularly Heavenly, but two years ago after having visited a friend in a hospice I came away feeling a bit shocked, but deeply grateful for being able to get out of bed unaided on a cold, dark, rainy winter morning and just go to work. Have a normal, ordinary day, with all the little niggles and tiny pleasures, look forward to doing things I'd put off for years, while I still had the chance.

So if the weather ever improves, that Eurostar trip will have to happen, and meanwhile, trying to find something good in each day.

But as per the OP, let's try to keep the tone light and let's hear your "bucket lists".
 

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Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :
 
Ken...
 

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Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 
ken

I'm completely in agreement with carrying on pretty much as I am. I love my job and it is part time, so I have regular slots in the week for coffees and lunches with people I care about and love spending time with.

I don't enjoy travelling and am particularly phobic about going abroad, but there are places here I'd like to visit with Mr Nen. Some for sentimental reasons - I'd like to go to Chichester where my mum grew up and I haven't visited there for years. I'd like to go to Norfolk which was a special place for my brother and his partner (my brother died two years ago) and I'd like to revisit the Fort William area of Scotland where Mr Nen and I fell in love. I'd like to go to York and Ely and Wells. There are some friends I'd like to visit and a few people I know online that I'd like to meet in real life - so there'd be a bit of private-messaging and arrangement-making.

In writing this I realise that most of these things are eminently doable... not sure why I'm not making plans already...

Nen - thoughtful after reading this thread.
 

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Posted by the famous rachel (# 1258) on :
 
I would write a long series of letters and stories for my three year-old son, and probably film some videos. I would leave the letters for him to read when he is older.

I would declutter the house and make every possible arrangement for my son and husband's futures to be as stress-free as possible under the circumstances.

And then I would stop being sensible and blow some of the money we are saving for a house on a big trip to South Africa to a really swanky game reserve, and go on Safari. I've been dreaming about something like this for when the famous pre-schooler is older, and three may not be the right age, but if it were now or never, I'd go now!

Rachel.
 

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Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Twilight:
First I would buy a carton of cigarettes

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quote:

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Originally posted by no prophet:
(Am I allowed to be outrageously manipulative and selfish in this thread?)

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quote:

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Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:

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Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
I would buy a lot of wine, and drink a great deal.

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Yes, I'd just carry on as normal as well.

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I'd definitely up the quality.
 

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Posted by Aggie (# 4385) on :
 
I would give up work - that's the first thing I would do, and then I'd go travelling and see all the places I've always wanted to see, and try to pack in the lot if my health and finances allowed:
1) Santiago de Compostela and I'd like to walk the Camino
2) Asturias, Basque Country and Rioja in Northern Spain
3) Rome and the Vatican
4) The Amalfi coast of Italy
5) California
6) south-east Asia
7) Moscow
I would also eat and drink what I wanted to.
 

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Posted by bib (# 13074) on :
 
I find this question to be rather insensitive given that I have a close friend who is in such a situation. It is impossible for us to walk in her shoes and to imagine ourselves in her situation is IMO quite wrong. Her battles and options are changing daily and even her personality has changed. Although she would like life to continue as normal, it doesn't work like that, particularly as time passes and she approaches the end. I pray that her final days are filled with peace and love.
 

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Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
But we're not asking or talking about her and are therefore not being insensitive to her. We are discussing ourselves in what are for most of us hypothetical situations, and hoping to learn from the discussion. On your principle we would have to give up discussing parenthood, for the sake of the infertile among us; old age; cancer; job problems; and so forth.

[ 28. February 2014, 14:21: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
The OP was posed as it was not with the intention of getting people to focus on their own mortality (I hope SC will confirm that), but with the intention of defining a set of parameters to form the framework for a discussion. It could for that matter have been posed as “you only have one year left on Earth before you’re sent to Mars on a one-way ticket to help build a new colony” or “incarcerated for a very long time”.

If we can, let’s keep this thread to a reasonably lighthearted sort of discussion about what you would do under those circumstances. The “bucket list” is a widespread concept across the internet, and very likely the first that came to mind, but the principle we’re considering for the purposes of this thread isn’t actually mortality so much as those as-yet-to-be-actualized dreams when you know time is limited – for whatever reason – and want to fill it in your own way. Let’s go with that.
 

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Posted by Ethne Alba (# 5804) on :
 
There is the stuff I'd like to be doing
and also
There is stuff stubbornly unfinished where I am

Between the two yawns a gap the size of the Grand Canyon.
 

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Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
I would confirm that this is in heaven because it is intended as a lighthearted question as to what you think you would do. It is not intended to minimise the truth of this situation - and Kens news did shock me and others.

It is also true that most of us will a) never have this time to finalise stuff and b) even if we did, we would probably do completely different things.

It is a bucket list type of idea, but with certain specific parameters - one year, asymptomatic. It is for fun, to consider how we might chill out for a year.
 

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Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :
 
Yes, I'd carry on as normal, with a bit more sex and booze.

Incidentally, I used to run therapy groups, and this is one structure we used to do, but we would do it in stages, first a year, then 6 months, then 3 months, then a week.

The answers were interesting as the time got shorter.
 

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Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :
 
Incidentally, my best friend died in October, and he astonished everybody by saying that he just wanted to be alone, except for his two daughters.

He had many friends, so they never saw him for the last few months.

People were annoyed at the time, but now sort of admire it; he was always an awkward bugger.
 

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Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
What would you do if you have a year to live?

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