Ship of Fools: What the Facebook?

Thread: What the Facebook? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=027170

Posted by fletcher christian (# 13919) on :

So I was driving along in someone's new car - you know the type; everything beeps at you, talks to you, wants to update the operating system every four hours, has a mini computer onboard with touch screen and can be controlled from the steering wheel, basically a four wheeled internal distraction mobile that has more things to make you crash and have to buy a new one. I actually hate all of that pointless crap in a car, but then I noticed something as the person beside me barked instructions as to what distraction to pick next as we swung out onto the motorway - it was Facebook. Yes, Facebook in a car on a screen that is angled at the driver and controlled from their steering wheel! Maybe I live in a totally different world seeing that two wheels are my preferred method and when I do get in a four wheeled thing it usually resembles a skip and generally handles like one, but heck, there aren't any distractions in the damn thing. Why would a driver need Facebook in a car? Did someone's brain fall out in the development departments of car manufacturers? Are there not regulations about this kind of thing; and if there isn't, why the hell not?

I am on the road a lot - probably too much for my own good and since I'm no spring chicken I can remember a time when we didn't have mobile phones. Back then, driving was a lot less scary, even though cars were apparently not as safe as today. Today pretty much any road is a major hazard with phone users driving like they are blind drunk, weaving all over the road, putting their own life in danger and others just so they can answer the text that reads, 'Hi. How r u?'. It's become like fairground dodgems with added blood and death. Now it's just got worse; not only will the mobile phone distract, but there's a bloody computer that will play your favourite shows, access your emails and allow you to play on fucking arsebook. Who in hell thought this was a good idea?

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

It wasn't me, guv. Honest.

Posted by luvanddaisies (# 5761) on :

Maybe a clever person can hack it so that accessing FB from a car's steering wheel relays a dangerous driver alert and a GPS fix to the nearest transport police division.

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

I like Jeremy Clarkson. I especially like his idea for the best safety feature on a car. A one foot sharp spike mounted on the steering wheel pointing at the drivers chest.

Posted by Ad Orientem (# 17574) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I like Jeremy Clarkson. I especially like his idea for the best safety feature on a car. A one foot sharp spike mounted on the steering wheel pointing at the drivers chest.

LOL!

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

The Myth of Progress in bold print.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I like Jeremy Clarkson. I especially like his idea for the best safety feature on a car. A one foot sharp spike mounted on the steering wheel pointing at the drivers chest.

I believe that there was a car with this feature at one time - when a car crash probably meant you were dead anyway.

I like being able to talk on my phone while in the car - handsfree, bluetooth. I like being able to use GPS. They both, I think make the driving easier, and safer - I can call ahead if I am late and explain, and I know that I am going the right way.

But anything that is a distraction is a bad idea. I can see there is a place for a passenger using it, but they have phones for that. There is no place for distractive features.

Posted by monkeylizard (# 952) on :

Meh. I'm waiting for an infotainment system to have integrated access to snapchat and instagram to make my driving selfies easier to share.

[ 25. July 2014, 14:51: Message edited by: monkeylizard ]

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

When my head finally and terminally explodes and I can no longer bear taking the black I am going to ride round Bristol on a clapped out 500cc alternating between stealing mobiles phones from drivers who are stationary at the lights while telling their loved one to order the pizza alongside riding into the ones who are chatting away and not paying attention while actually moving. I reckon 3 phones and 1 "accident" claim a day could net me about £5k a week.

Posted by luvanddaisies (# 5761) on :

I love that you just called your job "taking the black". [Big Grin]

(which would have passed me by before I read all the Song of Ice & Fire books so far)

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I like Jeremy Clarkson. I especially like his idea for the best safety feature on a car. A one foot sharp spike mounted on the steering wheel pointing at the drivers chest.

That wasn't Jeremy Clarkson's idea. He nicked it off someone else.

Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

I call shenanigans.

Oh no I don't [Disappointed]

Apparently this is simply further proof that if you ask people to pay for surveillance, they'll fall over themselves to embrace it, and the more you get them to pay, the faster they will fall.

[ 25. July 2014, 19:07: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Motherfucker.

Y'all don't understand, I live at the north gate of Silicon Valley (If you include biotech) I will be dead within a year. Dead. Underneath the wheels of a Cadillac Escalade Platinum whose owner is Yelping a tandoori place. While still in my tiny Neon.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Here's something low tech you can all buy. Hang it from your car's mirror. Be the envy of all who see you. Stick it where ever you like.

Stick on a string.

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

Can you get a Kindle app on that badboy? I've always felt the only thing missing from my roadtrips was a nice epic novel.

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :

Is this a way to introduce the automatic vehicles without protest? If the drivers are all watching their computer rather than the road, will they mind when the car also takes over the driving?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

I see that idiocy knows no technological bounds.

Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :

I've noticed taxis where I live which have a smartphone showing a video in the place of the rear view mirror. I'm not sure they really need further distraction to their driving...

Posted by Liopleurodon (# 4836) on :

My best friend who is a lovely person outside a car but a really awful, aggressive, frightening driver recently got a very expensive and shiny new car with all sorts of high tech features. I was pleased to see her driving improved dramtically and at first I thought she was being more careful because the car was so expensive. Then I discovered that the car was full of sensors that were connected to the brakes, and it was actually refusing to let her drive like a dick. This is the kind of innovation we could use more of.

Posted by Honest Ron Bacardi (# 38) on :

If you wanted to make good money, set up a company who can convert the front screen into a wrap-around widescreen movie experience. It's got to come - we already have the ear-shattering 7 channel 150dB sound systems.

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Motherfucker.

Y'all don't understand, I live at the north gate of Silicon Valley (If you include biotech) I will be dead within a year. Dead. Underneath the wheels of a Cadillac Escalade Platinum [...]

That what you guys call 'The Big One'?

Posted by monkeylizard (# 952) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
That what you guys call 'The Big One'?

No. That's this one. Yes, that's real.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Straight up. Imagine six of those looking for your stopping space on the freeway. That would be 280 South..

Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Honest Ron Bacardi:
If you wanted to make good money, set up a company who can convert the front screen into a wrap-around widescreen movie experience. It's got to come - we already have the ear-shattering 7 channel 150dB sound systems.

How good would it be with 'Fast and the Furious'.
Or playing burnout paradise.

That would rock.

Posted by ToujoursDan (# 10578) on :

Being one of the 70% of New York City residents that don't have a car, sometimes I miss not having one. Then I read this and realize that I'm not missing much. I'll stick to getting my best reading done while riding the Subway.

Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :

My dear late dad prophesied that staring into computer scenes would 'be the death of us all'.
Says me staring into a computer scene .

Mind you, it probably will be the death of me if I don't get the strife's pond dug this morning .

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Liopleurodon:
My best friend who is a lovely person outside a car but a really awful, aggressive, frightening driver recently got a very expensive and shiny new car with all sorts of high tech features. I was pleased to see her driving improved dramtically and at first I thought she was being more careful because the car was so expensive. Then I discovered that the car was full of sensors that were connected to the brakes, and it was actually refusing to let her drive like a dick. This is the kind of innovation we could use more of.

Actually it is terrifying. When the technology works, it is brilliant. When it gets old and fails.......

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0