Ship of Fools: 12 Days of Zilchmas

Thread: 12 Days of Zilchmas Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

Yes, you read it right.

This year we're turning the tables and doing a 12-day special on all those atheistic novelties out there.

Time to dig out those lamentable but highly entertaining gifts for the Godless.

We've only just thought of this angle so we're putting it all together at breakneck speed. Your offerings, please as soon as possible. A namecheck guaranteed for those that make the list.

[Cool]

[ 13. December 2013, 13:50: Message edited by: Ancient Mariner ]

Posted by passer (# 13329) on :

Well, in the spirit of Chris... I mean kicking it off, try this.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Do they have to be explicitly aimed at atheists? (Buy your Dawkins Dongle here!)

Or do they just not have to mention God - in which case the Innovations catalogue lies before you?

Or do they have to be such a waste of molecules that they lead inevitably to the conclusion that 'design' and 'intelligent' are meaningless along with the rest of the universe?

Posted by Tubbs (# 440) on :

I've flagged this up in Heaven as well in the hope of widening the suggestion pool.

Tubbs

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

Thanks Tubbs.

Firenze, throw anything in that even touches on the atheistic thing. Of course, the more bizarre, the better.

We are thinking, for example, of one item being the empty chair which Dawkins didn't sit on when invited to a debate in Oxford last year. He refused to attend. The chair is destined to become a relic, surely.

Think through any angles for the description as well.

[Cool]

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

I knew I could depend on Cafe Press: a fun seasonal tee-shirt.

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

It might not be Atheist per se, but you'd have a little difficulty marketing it as even vaguely Christian.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

Zazzle is pretty good, too.

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

A Mousepad from Zazzle

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

For the Creationist in your life.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

How about a handsome bench?

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

Some great ones! Keep 'em coming. [Big Grin]

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

Stocking stuffer.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Stocking stuffer.

...and the stocking.

Posted by St. Stephen the Stoned (# 9841) on :

How about this one?

Posted by tessaB (# 8533) on :

Red Molotov T-shirts are always good for a laugh.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Atheistmas tree ornaments. The perfect gift for the man who has nothing that's not part of the spacetime continuum.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Merry Solstice.

Posted by Melisande (# 4177) on :

Nom.

Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :

Tired of playing God? Try playing with gods instead! And when you're done and wish to express your will to power by bringing about the twilight of the idols, you can do it in style.

Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on :

Christmas cards from the British Humanist Association.

If I actually sent cards, I'd send these. The calligraphic Christmas/Saturnalia one is great!!

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

I quite like this card myself.

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

You should definitely have this.

Maybe
this .

And of course, a car sticker.

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

Some more xmas cards , I particularly like - axial tilt is the reason for the season.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Read my footprints.

Can you point us to the page with the sales pitch, Firenze?

[ 15. December 2013, 11:07: Message edited by: Ancient Mariner ]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Contains real baby.

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

Knew you wouldn't let us down. Some great finds. [Smile]

We're putting the final list together tomorrow (Monday) so fire your last offerings here ASAP.

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

Wrapping paper, specifically the "Have a satisfactory non-denominational capitalist wintertime gift giving season" wrapping paper.

[Eta, mustn't forget the Festivus pole .]

[ 15. December 2013, 19:30: Message edited by: Doublethink ]

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :

I presume you know about the Brian Cox / Robin Ince shows? Christmas Compendium of Reason and Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Read my footprints.

Can you point us to the page with the sales pitch, Firenze?

It from this German shoe company.

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

Actually, there's nothing Christmassy about this - reminiscent of this.

(As I was driving to see my daughter, there was a Lapland UK between Bracknell and Ascot - fortunately, my children are too old to find out if this is any better.)

Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :

Okay, slipping these in under the wire:
Because, in the end, we all just want to be loved.
If you want to celebrate the birth of your favorite concussed calculus-developing Arian, here's your shirt
And, for those who like their religions disguised as jokes (or jokes disguised as religions), we have appropriately inappropriate Discordian bumper stickers, membership in the Church of the SubGenius, or the ever-elegant Invisible Pink Unicorn Car Plaque, offering of ham and pineapple pizza not included.
Of course, for the sartorially-minded unbeliever who still insists on wearing their Sunday best, you can wear your ever elegant IPU necklace with your lovely noodly appendage earrings. Whoever said the godless can't enjoy the finer things in "the only life you get?"

[ 16. December 2013, 05:54: Message edited by: Ariston ]

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

Don't know if I'm still I'm time, but I quite like this fluffy Friedrich Nietzche.

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

Thanks for recent contribs. Not too late but the 12 are being put together today.

[Cool]

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

I'm probably past the deadline, but you might just enjoy this.

Want to compete with those garish yard displays in your neighborhood? In Chicago's Daley Plaza, where we have a traditional Nativity scene and a menorah, a group of atheists have erected a big red "A."

(Frankly, it's a little too Hester Prynne for my tastes.)

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
It might not be Atheist per se, but you'd have a little difficulty marketing it as even vaguely Christian.

One of my all time favorites!

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

Good to see you here, Campbellite!
[Big Grin]

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

We're live!

Thanks to all for contributions (espesh the redoutable Doublethink for no less than three offerings [Yipee]

)

----

For immediate release

ANNOUNCING SHIP OF FOOLS' FIRST-EVER 12 DAYS OF ZILCHMAS

(LONDON -- 18.12.13) -- UNABLE to beat us, they've finally joined us - the godless are having themselves a kitschy little Christmas.

And the very best seasonal gifts with a decidedly secular focus, can be found at shipoffools.com's brand new 12 Days of Zilchmas.

'When it comes to tasteless Yuletide tat, the church has traditionally cornered the market,' said Simon Jenkins, editor of the iconoclastic Christian website. 'From Virgin Mary fridge magnets to musical weeping Santas, God botherers have blazed a tacky trail. This year, all that has changed. You won't need to ask "What Would Dawkins Buy?" after you've grabbed these goodies.'

Gifts include the Friedrich Nietzsche finger puppet, a Santa-denying ipad cover, a science-versus-religion mousemat, even shoes for the budding atheistic baby.

'For years we have run the 12 Days of Kitschmas, celebrating those surely-not religious gifts for the sanctified stocking,' said Steve Goddard, co-editor of shipoffools.com. 'This year the secularists have got in on the act - and, disturbingly, they're beginning to match us tat-for-tat.'

(ends)

[ 18. December 2013, 09:25: Message edited by: Ancient Mariner ]

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Mariner:
We're live!

The Festivus Pole image doesn't seem to be working for me. Is it a problem at my end, or yours?

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Mariner:
We're live!
The Festivus Pole image doesn't seem to be working for me. Is it a problem at my end, or yours?

Working OK here. Anyone else have Marvin's problem?

Posted by lily pad (# 11456) on :

Working fine even with the big snowstorm in Canada.

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

I wasn't seeing the image at home this morning (noticing the front page before AM announced it being live here), and it's also not loading at work.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

OK on iPad (in UK), both now and early this morning (c 7.30)

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

I hope it will get some media attention! (But shouldn't it be "the godless are having themselves a kitschy little Xmas"? [Biased]

)

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

Now I see the pole. With the TV set borrowed from the local museum. I almost said "TV set that last saw service on the Ark", but it looks too real to be part of the furniture of a mythical boat. And, too antique to have been on any virtual reality vessel either.

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

Exudes a small cloud of xmas spiced smugness.

Posted by Chesterbelloc (# 3128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by passer:
Well, in the spirit of Chris... I mean kicking it off, try this.

For illiterate athEIsts only, presumably. Not very good for the brand, I'd have thought...

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

Too late for consideration, but there are some interesting t-shirts here,

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