Thread: Letters and greetings Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
Here in Kenya people in the Anglican church write their letters with an abundance of Christian greetings. They also call one another "Reverend"(if they are ordained) as a sign of respect.
I have become so acclimatised to this that writing letters/ emails to people in Europe or North America has become a veritable minefield....

This has got me thinking about how one starts and in particular how one ends written communication other than the formal.
I'm fine with "Yours faithfully" etc. but I'd be interested to know which greetings are favoured and which are abhorred by other shipmates.
 

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Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
Dear Mrs. Beaky,
I'm glad to see your topic and hope it evolves to include e-mail correspondence, where I usually begin with "Hi Beaky."

If I was writing to a minister I would start with, "Dear Pastor Smith,' Or "Dear Mother Joan," if I knew her well and she was Anglican.

Christian closings such as, "Yours In Christ," are something I've never done but like to receive.

I have a feeling I'm way out of date in this area, even unto sending handwritten letters in cursive.

Yours truly,
Twilight
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
I'm the secretary for the local Anglican Cemetery Committee and I always begin collective e-mails with "Dear Committee Members" and finish with "Regards, Piglet"

If I'm e-mailing to an individual, I usually start with "Hello Whoever", or Hello Fr. Whoever" if it's one of the clergy.

Personal e-mails - "Hello Whoever"

If we get round to finishing the Dreaded Christmas Letter™ the greeting and signatures will be hand-written.
 

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Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on :
 
Most of my writing is via email. If I know the individual it is usually "Hi (first name)" and if I do not know the person well "Hi (title) (last name") I sign all of my emails "Cheers". In letters, the few I write, I use "Dear (appropriate name based on familiarity)" and close with "Sincerely" followed by my name. I add my title and degrees if it is business correspondence.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Dear sir ... Yours faithfully (formally), Dear Mr/Mrs ... Yours sincerely (less formal) and 'Regards' (everything else, except personal friends in personal capacity).
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
We discovered that my son had never written a social letter (other than Christmas and birthday thank yous, which usually involved me standing over him until they were done) when he went to University and started writing to his sister. He finished his letters with phrases such as "I remain, my dear sister, your most affectionate brother" and used other phrases such as "You will please excuse the brevity of this letter but I fear I must hurry to catch the post."

Apparently they'd never been taught to write a social letter at school, so everything he knew about letter-writing came from Jane Austen.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
The Scottish education system has obviously gone to the dogs since my day ...
 

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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
My greeting and sign-off vary a great deal, depending on the recipient.

What has been puzzling me recently are emails signed "Best" followed by the sender's name. Best what?
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
All the best? Best wishes? Best of luck? Best be going now? Number of the best?

I find the omni-use of 'Cheers' as greeting, sign-off, thank you, acknowledgment as well as toast puzzling. When did that start?
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Dear Mrs/ Mr/ Reverend/ = Yours sincerely

Dear Sir/ Madam = Yours faithfully

Dear Duchess = Yours sincerely
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
I agree "Best" and "Cheers" just don't work for me.
"Yours faithfully/ sincerely" are fine until the relationship moves on and then I go into rampant confusion.....
I can't sign off "Love" as I would to a friend to a vicar but as we are now on first name terms what on earth can I do?
I'd love to settle on an appropriate, less formal, friendly but not cheesy greeting.
Here they sign off and start emails or letters with things like
"Many Christian Greetings"
"With warm Christian greetings"
A priest I know in the UK signs off with "Love in Christ"
My favourite was from a man I once knew who I later discovered was at the same time spreading completely unfounded rumours about me who signed off an message to me with "Every blessing"
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
If I'm writing to someone I haven't had any contact with before I'll start with "Dear [firstname] (if I may?)" or "Dear [title and surname]". I don't actually like starting letters with "Dear..." but it is the convention for formal correspondence.

I'd never begin an email to a new business contact with "Hi [firstname]". "Hi" is for people I already know and am on familiar/first-name terms with.

In emails I'll sign off with "Best wishes" or "Best regards". I have sometimes been guilty of "Best" but it isn't always an appropriate sign-off, if, for example, you have to tell a business contact something you know they won't particularly like. ("Sorry, but it will now cost you twice as much. Best, Ariel.")

"Regards" is kept for people who have already signed off their email to me that way, I always think it looks a bit cold. I do sometimes put "Cheers" in emails to colleagues if it is something to be cheery about. It functions as a cross between "thank-you", "good news" and "all the best".

I've seen "Kindest" (and even "KR") but hate that and don't use them.

Letters will be ended with "Yours sincerely" in most cases as I don't write personal letters any more - most people have moved to email these days.
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Firenze:
I find the omni-use of 'Cheers' as greeting, sign-off, thank you, acknowledgment as well as toast puzzling. When did that start?

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quote:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
We discovered that my son had never written a social letter (other than Christmas and birthday thank yous, which usually involved me standing over him until they were done) when he went to University and started writing to his sister. He finished his letters with phrases such as "I remain, my dear sister, your most affectionate brother" and used other phrases such as "You will please excuse the brevity of this letter but I fear I must hurry to catch the post."

Apparently they'd never been taught to write a social letter at school, so everything he knew about letter-writing came from Jane Austen.

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quote:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
We discovered that my son had never written a social letter (other than Christmas and birthday thank yous, which usually involved me standing over him until they were done) when he went to University and started writing to his sister. He finished his letters with phrases such as "I remain, my dear sister, your most affectionate brother" and used other phrases such as "You will please excuse the brevity of this letter but I fear I must hurry to catch the post."

Apparently they'd never been taught to write a social letter at school, so everything he knew about letter-writing came from Jane Austen.

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I love your son!

My formal messages usually start "Dear So-an-So" and end "Regards, jedijudy". My informal ones and ones to friends (and Shipmates, as some of you will have noticed) start "Hi Name!" and usually end with "Hugs! judy". With lots of exclamation points in between. I got an outrageous amount of "!!!" many years ago when they were on sale, so I'm pretty extravagant with them.
 

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Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
... when he went to University and started writing to his sister. He finished his letters with phrases such as "I remain, my dear sister, your most affectionate brother" and used other phrases such as "You will please excuse the brevity of this letter but I fear I must hurry to catch the post."

Apparently they'd never been taught to write a social letter at school, so everything he knew about letter-writing came from Jane Austen.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Dear sir ... Yours faithfully (formally), Dear Mr/Mrs ... Yours sincerely (less formal) and 'Regards' (everything else, except personal friends in personal capacity).

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quote:

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Originally posted by Augustine the Aleut:
An Irish friend uses Gaelic salutations and closings and I have always been nervous about asking for a translation.

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How wise!
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
This is all great, thank you everybody.

One thing I have also learned to do is to take my lead from the person who wrote to me if they initiated the exchange.
I also treat emails as I would handwritten letters using the same formal or informal address as I would when sending a note/ card/ letter.

Another related question:
if you are writing to a priest you have never met and do not know his preferences how would you address him in the UK? The waters have been muddied for me here. When people meet the the Bishop here they call him "Baba Scofu" (Father Bishop) and when they write to him they use all sorts of forms of address and the same with priests.
I also find that certain people I know don't seem to try to match their greetings to the person they are writing to thus sending fuzzy Christian messages to people they don't know at all- all a bit odd!
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Piglet:
The Scottish education system has obviously gone to the dogs since my day ...

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quote:

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Originally posted by MrsBeaky:
...
Another related question:
if you are writing to a priest you have never met and do not know his preferences how would you address him in the UK? ..

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Originally posted by betjemaniac:
At Dartmouth we had weekly "defence writing" assignments on a Sunday evening where we had battered into us the various ways of writing formal/official/Demi-official/routine/social/thank you/memoranda/note and social letters. All on plain paper with a one inch margin all the way round (rubbed out when you finished, text written in fountain pen. This was 12 years ago. It's now second nature (thank God).

We were issued a 200-odd page manual of defence writing, whic went into exhaustive detail (even to the extent of which corner to turn down when leaving calling cards), to read and inwardly digest, it's still something I consult now.

Formats were always my favourite - I resort to them when I wan to write patronising letters to utility companies.

They always begin:

Sir,

I have the honour to......

And conclude:

I have the honour to remain,

Sir,

Your obedient Servant,

Betjemaniac

I usually find this guarantees a fast response.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Evangeline:
A letter that begins with Dear Sir, should never end with "Yours Sincerely"-as they taught us in primary school the two "s" s should never go together!

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Je vous prie de croire, Chère Madame, à l’expression de mes salutations distinguées/mes sentiments les meilleurs/ma considération distinguée

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Originally posted by Angloid:
Emails are a problem. 'Dear...' seems too formal in most cases; 'Hi' too American. 'Hello' strikes me as odd. Some people begin them with simply one's name which seems a bit brusque. My default is 'Hi' but I know not everyone is happy with it.

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I agree that 'Dear...' seems too formal for an email; if I know the person's name, I will use that (in the gruff way that upsets Egeria ). If I don't know their name, my preference is 'Good morning/afternoon' but I am not sure what to say when I am writing in the evening. 'Hello' or 'Hi' feel too informal to use with a stranger.
I generally just end with my name, adding 'Love' to friends & family.
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
I've just checked my emails from the last two days and have received the following salutations:
Dear....thank you so much
Dear....Best wishes
Greetings friend.....Love
Hello........Best

Which seems to confirm much of the what others here have said.It is quite hard I've decided to strike the right note between being warm without becoming cringe-worthy when entering the middle ground between formal and friendship!
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
When the children send me emails (which usually means they want something) they sign off with LUGS - which stands for Love and Hugs.
 

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Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :
 
When, in the increasingly distant past, I turned 18 and became eligible to vote, I received a letter from a local prospective parliamentary candidate congratulating me on reaching my legal majority, and, in the mode of such letters, assuring me that, just like me, said candidate was concerned about issues A, B and C, and would take actions X, Y and Z to address them if elected.

She chose to begin her letter "Dear Firstname", an impertinence that guaranteed that she would never have my vote.

So put inappropriate familiarity at the top of my personal blacklist.
 

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Posted by venbede (# 16669) on :
 
I can remember on another message board discussing this and a younger gay man and self agreeing that "Cheers" is hopelessly straight.
 

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