Ship of Fools: When you call out my name.

Thread: When you call out my name. Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

I have a new daughter-in-law. Lovely lady and I am very happy. This however brings up a question. What will she call me? Mom no she has one of those. Graven fine that is what she has been calling me prior to their marriage, but then when I send her and my son a gift how do I sign the card? I worked this out with son # 2 as now he, his wife, and child all call me by a silly name my grandchild came up with while learning to say Grandmother. As son and new daughter-in-law are not planning to have any children this will not work. How are others on the ship addressed my their younger in-laws and how do you sign cards?

Posted by Nicolemr (# 28) on :

My son-in-law calls me by my first name.

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

My son-in-law calls me "mom" but if I'm signing something to him alone I write "cliffdweller". If it's to both daughter and SIL I write "mom". I'm pretty easy going about it.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

I was married for more than twenty years -- and never did come to any conclusion of what my Mother-in-Law wanted me to call her. (Yes, I could have asked, but she was the Mother-in-Law from You-Know-Where.)

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I was married for more than twenty years -- and never did come to any conclusion of what my Mother-in-Law wanted me to call her.

I've been married for close to that, and still engage in circumlocutions to avoid calling my mother-in-law any kind of name. I like her very much, but using her name doesn't feel right. Equally, "Mum" feels wrong. So I end up finding ways to address her without any kind of name.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

We had to have kids so we could call my in-laws "Nain and Taid" (Welsh for grandparents).

I never worked it out before the kids.

Posted by Doone (# 18470) on :

Two daughters in law call me by my first name, though I'm Mum in joint communications with my sons like Christmas cards. The third calls me Mum and is very comfortable with that, but she's South Korean so maybe a cultural thing (their language is very specific about relationships, so I believe, for example, they have a different word for the eldest and youngest daughter). Now we're usually grandma and grandpa, which probably makes it easier all round as I remember being excruciatingly embarrassed at what to call my m-i-l and ended up not calling her anything till our first son was born.

Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :

I call my in laws by their first names.

This does remind me of the wonderful and bitter-sweet Joyce Grenfell sketch 'First Flight'.

"She calls me "Mother Comstock". Which is nice. When I think of my own mother in law ... I never called her anything for thirty-five years. Well, except 'dear' in a time of crisis."

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

My first MiL I called by her first name; the second died before my time so problem solved - and the same with FsiL.

My (step)SsiL call me by my first name while my stepchildren prefer not to address me at all! My step-grandchild calls me by my name.

A cousin, brought up by elderly parents, refers to her MiL as "Mother-in-Law" and calls her that: rather disconcerting the first few times you hear it but the whole family is rather odd!

Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on :

It's an odd situation, sometimes. Most of my nephews and nieces (all adults ranging from 28-52) call me Uncle Pete when they are talking to me but I am told they refer to me by my first name when they are talking about me. I have a special relationship with one great-nephew: he calls me Grampa Pete. His parents call me by my first name, as do some others. I respond politely and sign all cards and letters as Uncle Pete. I refuse to respond to any great-nephew or niece who calls me by my first name. That includes a great-great niece. Her mother calls me Uncle as does her grandfather.

When I was married I called my parents-in-law by the names my wife used. My own mother was far away, so there was no intermingling or confusion.

In any event, context always made it clear. I am a great fan of relationship honorifics.

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

I like my Father-in-law very much, but don't think I've addressed him as anything in the last thirty years. He's "Dad" on birthday cards etc which are signed by both of us.

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

My mom spent years not knowing what to call her mother in law, so to avoid the awkwardness, she came right out and wrote "please feel free to call us (first name) and (first name)" on the first card she sent to my wife after we got married. My wife thought it was kind of strange, because she had always just planned on it, but she appreciated the thought once I explained. (And yes, grand kids solve the problem, and some others. My father in law would be embarrassed if I ever said "I love you" to him. If I say it though the grand-daughter who mostly babbles still? No problem.)

quote:
Originally posted by Doone:
The third calls me Mum and is very comfortable with that, but she's South Korean so maybe a cultural thing (their language is very specific about relationships, so I believe, for example, they have a different word for the eldest and youngest daughter).

Yes, from what I understand from my Korean sister in law, you would never think to address family by their name, especially older relatives. So my brother refers to his MIL by the Korean word for "honored mother" (or something along those lines). And it was a sign of acceptance when she started calling him "son in law" rather than a somewhat rude term for "foreigner" (it took him a while to work his way in to the family- once again, grand kids fixed a lot).

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :

I call my in-laws by their first names. If they are writing a card to both of us they put 'mum' and 'dad', but if it was just to me they use their first names.

That works fine until it comes to me writing cards to them. Because they are from both of us it feels weird me writing their names when my husband knows them as 'mum' and 'dad', but feels even weirder if I write 'mum' and 'dad' because they're not my mum and dad. The only way I've been able to get round it is to get him to write any cards from both of us to them (and likewise I write any cards from both of us to my parents).

Posted by Nick Tamen (# 15164) on :

My wife called my parents by their first names. If my mother was writing to both of us, she sign the card or letter "Mother/Name." (If she was writing the whole family, she'd sign "Mother/Name/Gran.") My wife always laughed a little; she thought it was overkill.

Meanwhile, my mother-in-law, whom I also call by her first name, just uses "Mom" if she's writing both or all of us.

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

My daughter is expecting her first. I need to decide what the new one is going to call me. (Although I concede I probably have a year or so to work on this, but one must begin as one means to go on.) I don't think I want to be Grandma. Do I want to go full Chinese, and have the new one call me Po-Po? I am tempted to coin a totally new term for myself.

Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on :

I knew the family-in-law for many years before anyone thought it possible I would marry one of them. A group of us (all completely not related) were calling them mother and father so it seems natural to continue the habit. In fact using their real names feels quite odd.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

I called the parents of my first husband Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So. Now, both my children-in-law call me by my first name. If I sign a card to D-i-L, it's with my name. To my S-i-L, it's Other Mom.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

I was first introduced to my in-laws quite a while before I knew they would be my in-laws (D. and I were in the same circle of friends and they were in Orkney on holiday), and they introduced themselves by their Christian names, and that's how things stayed.

When we started dating, my dad was D's boss*, but as they knew each other outside work through choirs, orchestras etc., they'd been on first name terms anyway.

I was quite shocked when we moved to Northern Ireland to find that many people there still addressed their in-laws as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" even after 30-odd years of marriage - it just seemed so formal.

While we're on such forms of address, I didn't half feel old the first time I heard my great-niece address my sister as "Granny". [Big Grin]

* D. was a teacher, Dad was the director of education.

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
My daughter is expecting her first. I need to decide what the new one is going to call me. (Although I concede I probably have a year or so to work on this, but one must begin as one means to go on.) I don't think I want to be Grandma. Do I want to go full Chinese, and have the new one call me Po-Po? I am tempted to coin a totally new term for myself.

I thought Chinese for grandma was Neinei? Which I kinda like.

edit: (oh-- google tells me that Mandarin has separate names for paternal and maternal grandma, hence "po-po")

[ 06. June 2016, 15:23: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

Yeah, I'm on the hook to be Po-Po. Which is a name I associate with my own grandmother, now long gone. I am hoping the new one will babble and generate some charming term of his own.

Posted by Mrs Shrew (# 8635) on :

Mr Shrew and I both use first names for parents in law.

When we receive cards, they will be signed " Mum and Dad" if to both of us, or by first name if to the in law. ( there was also a time my dad obviously got distracted and signed his first name on my birthday card - mum and I had a good giggle about that!)

When sending cards or addressing gifts from both of us, I would write first name for my mother in law if I were writing it, but like Jack-the-Lass I normally try to get Mr Shrew to write that bit, so it says To Mum instead. And I would write To Mum for my mum, even for joint gifts.

I guess the trick is to come up with something everyone feels happy with.

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Yeah, I'm on the hook to be Po-Po. Which is a name I associate with my own grandmother, now long gone. I am hoping the new one will babble and generate some charming term of his own.

I'm convinced that the grandchild's parents have the most sway on what the child calls you, since they are the ones the child hears identify you as Po-Po or Grandma or Oma (which is what my mother in law chose). So make sure they are on board with whatever you want to be called from the start.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

Brenda Clough posted

quote:
My daughter is expecting her first. I need to decide what the new one is going to call me. (Although I concede I probably have a year or so to work on this, but one must begin as one means to go on.) I don't think I want to be Grandma. Do I want to go full Chinese, and have the new one call me Po-Po? I am tempted to coin a totally new term for myself.

I had name planned but grandchild changed it, so I just decided the first grandchild gets to name you. Grandmother became Mankie? Who knew? So Mankie it is to all of her family.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Remember in Downton Abbey when the grandaughter Sybs named her grandfather, the Earl of Grantham, "Donk" - after pin the tail on the donkey?

Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :

I call my PIL by their first names and my husband calls my parents by their first names. My dad isn't really a first name person, my SIL jokingly refers to him as Mr [Surname], or more often Grandpa these days. My husband, being fearless, went straight for the first name.

The awkward bit was what name my husband's grandmother should use to sign cards to me. She felt a bit odd using her first name, so ended up signing it as "Nanny", which is what my husband calls her. My own granny died when I was a teenager, and all my other grandparents died before I was born - none of them would have used that name, so it works quite well!

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

Mother (Welsh) was Mam. Mil (English) was Mum.

Posted by Landlubber (# 11055) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Nick Tamen:
My wife called my parents by their first names. If my mother was writing to both of us, she sign the card or letter "Mother/Name."

We do this, except that the abbreviated form of my given name is the same as that of my husband's name, so we fetched up with Mum/Land & Dad/Land. Child 1 said early on "this has got out of hand, just write Mum & Dad" so we do. Child 2 has said nothing, so we carry on expending the extra ink.

If there are grandchildren, how do others decide who gets which name? My (step) M-I-L announced a baby-talk grandparental name for my F-I--L which I could not abide. I spent years running a secret campaign to stop my children using it. I like my children-in-law and would rather not provoke them, but unless the baby-talk originates with the (hypothetical, at this moment) babies, not the adults, words might be said.

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

quote:
I am tempted to coin a totally new term for myself.

I know a man who did that, but it turned out to be a kind of vanity in avoiding the more normal terms which might have implied ageing.

Since that vanity eventually extended to no longer speaking to his son or grandchildren, the point is now moot [Smile]

Posted by Cathscats (# 17827) on :

I went with "Grandma" for MIL along with my kids. But when she began to get a bit vague (she is nearly 96) I changed and now call her by her name. It is a way of reminding her who she is, still the same person she has been for nearly a century. (Also, she never wanted to be "Grandma" but hoped for "Granny". However my mother already had that title by virtue of already having grandchildren.)

Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :

When the time comes, my son-in-law will refer to me as 'Lord High Potentate of Space and Time'. If time is short, 'my lord' will suffice.

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :

I try to discourage titles such as The Old Goat, and prefer to be Dad to our daughters, and first name to all in-laws and grandchildren. For some reason, I like to hear very small people call me by my name.

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

Betjeman's f-in-l was Field Marshal Sir Philip Chetwode, who said to him before the wedding a propos of this 'You can't call me father, because I'm not your father. You can't all me Philip: that's out of the question. You'd better just call me Field Marshal'.
As neither of my in-laws holds high military rank, it has never occurred to me or AFAIK to them that I should call them by anything other than their first names.

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

My s-i-l is an Army captain, and is inclined to address me as Mrs. Clough. I have hope that if the new one addresses me as [some name TBD} then it'll trickle over.

Posted by Celtic Knotweed (# 13008) on :

I call Sandemaniac's parents by their names, and Sandemaniac calls my parents by their names. Far as I know my siblings and their spouses follow the same pattern. The nieces have a Granny, Grandpa, Grandma, Grand-dad (and I can't recall which one uses which for which pairing), complicated by my sis-in-law being Polish, so using another set of names again.

Mind you, I do call the maternal Knotweed by her given name sometimes, having spent 4 years in the late 90s working out of the same office. (Having the students see one of the people they were asking for help with coursework say to another "Want a cuppa Mum?" would probably not have inspired confidence...) She does answer to it [Big Grin]

Posted by M. (# 3291) on :

A bit off topic, but this discussion reminds me of when my mother was about to become a great grandmother. I asked her what she was going to be called, and she sighed theatrically and announced,

'Oh, M., I can't decide whether to be great or grand'

M.

Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on :

I called my in laws by their first names. I often call my parents by their first names, as well.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

I knew my in laws first adn met my husband through them so first names were already in place.

My kids partners call me either first name or Mum

But as all the in laws on my mother's side called her mum (my grandmother, mum) it seems natural.

My grandmother had a hated first name she refused to use or answer to...

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

We have more or less given up on this as of about 5 years ago. One child has been living with her partner* for going on 8 years. No sign of that bourgeois institution of marriage. This has resulted in first names all around. It is not my preference, but my preference is the least important. Younger children have followed suit.

With my dearly loved inlaws, I called them Pappa/Mumma <given name>. After we had children, we just called them grandma and grampa. (My parents were mostly absent from our lives, so it didn't become an issue. Our children called them nicknames they'd invented, but seldom had to address them.)

*partner: I heartily dislike this term for couples. I am in business and have partners. I am not married to my partners. But this apparently is the approved term, so I have never said and never will say anything about it.

(Code fix)

[ 13. June 2016, 21:24: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:

*partner: I heartily dislike this term for couples. I am in business and have partners. I am not married to my partners. But this apparently is the approved term, so I have never said and never will say anything about it.

What would you suggest as a more appropriate name? Common-law wife/husband seems a bit long-winded.

There are many different kinds of partner - dancing, duetting, partners in crime... it needn't mean just a business relationship.

[ 14. June 2016, 06:45: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
What would you suggest as a more appropriate name? Common-law wife/husband seems a bit long-winded.

As well as (in England and Wales) misleading, since the law recognises no such thing, and hasn't done for over 200 years.

[ 14. June 2016, 12:28: Message edited by: BroJames ]

Posted by Daffodil (# 13164) on :

The next generation use my first name. I let them decide what title I would have when the Grandkids arrived, and try and use this title when signing my name - different name from each group! In reality the Grandkids are starting to use my first name, as that is how they hear everyone else address me. My husband seems to have kept the suffix Granddad when they address him. Is the difference because I am slightly younger, or because technically they are step grandkids who knows and who cares [Smile]

Tho some may object to the term "grandkids" it is shorter than grandchildren. I confess we refer to them collectively (and affectionately ) as 'The Rugrats" as there are a number of them of them aged 8 years - 5 weeks.

My mother used to title Auntie, followed by her first name for her Mil, and we followed suit [Ultra confused]

My father used the term "Mrs T" for his Mil...

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:

*partner: I heartily dislike this term for couples. I am in business and have partners. I am not married to my partners. But this apparently is the approved term, so I have never said and never will say anything about it.

What would you suggest as a more appropriate name? Common-law wife/husband seems a bit long-winded.

There are many different kinds of partner - dancing, duetting, partners in crime... it needn't mean just a business relationship.

I have no idea how to sort out this. It is co-opting of a word, that meant something different previously. I get the modern thing that marriage is passé for some. People invent themselves now. But I haven't any idea better than "son's girlfriend" or "daughter's special friend" for the relationship with the person who they live with. ?son/daughter in commonlaw? This I asked about once, and won't again. Back to first names.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Daffodil:
Tho some may object to the term "grandkids" it is shorter than grandchildren.

I'm noticing a lot of people referring to their offspring's offspring as "the grands." I think the reason this rubs me the wrong way is that the only time I've heard "grands" used as a noun is here.

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

Language is so very mutable that you can make it do anything you want to. (Google on the correct usage of the term 'nigger' for a current example.) The only question is what you want.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
I have no idea how to sort out this. It is co-opting of a word, that meant something different previously. I get the modern thing that marriage is passé for some. People invent themselves now. But I haven't any idea better than "son's girlfriend" or "daughter's special friend" for the relationship with the person who they live with. ?son/daughter in commonlaw? This I asked about once, and won't again. Back to first names.

Perhaps POSSLQ? But only if they're of the opposite sex -- PSSSLQ is unpronounceable.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I don't suppose 'co-fornicater' is going to fly either.

You don't hear 'fancy man/woman' which is what my mother would have used for a presumed lover where the parties were of mature years.

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
I have no idea how to sort out this. It is co-opting of a word, that meant something different previously. I get the modern thing that marriage is passé for some. People invent themselves now. But I haven't any idea better than "son's girlfriend" or "daughter's special friend" for the relationship with the person who they live with. ?son/daughter in commonlaw? This I asked about once, and won't again. Back to first names.
Perhaps POSSLQ? But only if they're of the opposite sex -- PSSSLQ is unpronounceable.

When I talk to close friends, we revert to old lingo and say they're "shacked up". Good friends also learn to stop asking when they're getting married. No one, parents nor anyone else has the right to ask such things in the modern era.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

"Live-in lover"? Last time I heard that phrase used was 20 years ago, though.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

I call my parents-in-law by their first names, and my wife does the same. Can't say it's ever been a problem.

Posted by Uncle Pete (# 10422) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by Daffodil:
Tho some may object to the term "grandkids" it is shorter than grandchildren.
I'm noticing a lot of people referring to their offspring's offspring as "the grands." I think the reason this rubs me the wrong way is that the only time I've heard "grands" used as a noun is here.

In some friendships I have people who have given up the hope of ever having grandchildren use grands to refer to their children's dogs or cats. [Projectile]

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:

You don't hear 'fancy man/woman' which is what my mother would have used for a presumed lover where the parties were of mature years.

I've always liked that term. Were I not very happily married to Mrs A I would be delighted to be thought of as someone's 'fancy man'.

Posted by VirginiaKneeling (# 18414) on :

I referred to my first MIL by her first name. I disliked my first FIL so much I generally tried to avoid being in his presence, let alone speaking to him. When I remarried, I referred to my in-laws by their first names, which was what they preferred. When the children were born, it became somewhat complicated, as they had on my side not only grandparents but a great-grandmother who was so firmly "Grandma" that nobody else could lay claim to that name, and on the other, a grandfather and step-grandmother, and a grandmother and her domestic partner. So my parents became Nana and Baba, and the ones on the other side were Grandpa John and Grandma Lu, and Grandma Liz and Zackie. My grandsons have nearly as many complications! To #1, who when he was born had not only the usual complement of grandparents but 5(!) living great-grandparents, I am Grandma J, while his other grandmother preferred Grandmama. The grandfathers were Grandpa and Grandaddy. My parents remained Nana and Baba, but I don't remember what he called the other great-grands. #2 and #3 have different fathers but the same mom (more complications!). One dad calls me Ms. J(first name), the other calls me Mom. Both grandsons call me Grandma and called my late ex Grandpa. #2 called his other grandmother Nanna and calls his other grandfather Granddaddy. They both call #3's grandmother, with whom they have a warm relationship, "Lita", short for Abuelita....that's the Puerto Rican side of the family.

And just to make things more complicated, after having been married twice each, my current partner and I have no plans to marry. I usually refer to him as "my gentleman" or sometimes as my partner, although I like that less. I've heard him refer to me when speaking to others as "my lady", which I like, but he often says "my partner". I think he'd die if I called him my "fancy man".

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

Nothing like dialect. A "fancy man" here means someone who is pretentious and pompous. Saying someone is "swish" means similar. The younger generation might say that "they think they're all that". "My lady" I have only ever heard as a term of address to a judge. Usually said milady, counterpart to milord.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

I'm always at a bit of a loss as to how to describe my brother's Significant Other; they've been living together for over 20 years (both having previously been married and divorced). At first I referred to her as his girlfriend, but as they're now both over 60 it seems to be stretching the term a bit, and "partner" seems the only sensible option.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Scots offers the additional option of 'bidey-in'.

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :

The term "de facto" used to be commonly used to describe such a relationship and couples used the term to describe their partner. Since such relationships are now treated basically the same as a couple who are married, the term seems to have disappeared. A long time since I have heard it.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Scots offers the additional option of 'bidey-in'.

Indeed it does. [Big Grin]

Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
I'm always at a bit of a loss as to how to describe my brother's Significant Other; they've been living together for over 20 years (both having previously been married and divorced). At first I referred to her as his girlfriend, but as they're now both over 60 it seems to be stretching the term a bit, and "partner" seems the only sensible option.

My BF and I have the same problem, being not married, definitely of mature years and not actually living together either. He doesn't have any problem referring to me as his girlfriend, which is nice, but "boyfriend" doesn't seem appropriate for a older man and I feel awkward saying "man friend". If pressed I have referred to him as "my chap".

[Confused]

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
I'm always at a bit of a loss as to how to describe my brother's Significant Other...

You've just done it, beautifully.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sparrow:

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
I'm always at a bit of a loss as to how to describe my brother's Significant Other; they've been living together for over 20 years (both having previously been married and divorced). At first I referred to her as his girlfriend, but as they're now both over 60 it seems to be stretching the term a bit, and "partner" seems the only sensible option.
My BF and I have the same problem, being not married, definitely of mature years and not actually living together either. He doesn't have any problem referring to me as his girlfriend, which is nice, but "boyfriend" doesn't seem appropriate for a older man and I feel awkward saying "man friend". If pressed I have referred to him as "my chap".

In old fashioned books he would be your 'gentleman friend'

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

There was a young lady of Joppa
Who came a Society cropper.
She went to Ostend
With a gentleman friend
And the rest of the story's improper.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

"Long-time companion" is another possibility--though, IME, it gradually came to be used mostly for same-sex couples.

Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
"Long-time companion" is another possibility--though, IME, it gradually came to be used mostly for same-sex couples.

Rather a mouthful though.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
There was a young lady of Joppa
Who came a Society cropper.
She went to Ostend
With a gentleman friend
And the rest of the story's improper.

lol

How about better half, or other half? Her indoors. himself?

No waiting for more Limericks...

[ 16. June 2016, 16:41: Message edited by: Zacchaeus ]

Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :

I wasn't married to my husband when I was pregnant with our son and was rather nonplussed when he was described as my 'consort' on my hospital notes.

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Scots offers the additional option of 'bidey-in'.

I use "bidie." Another option for male partners in Scots is "man" which applies equally to married or unmarried men e.g. "I see Jessie's man has a new car" "My man's playing golf the morn's morn" etc.

My aunt gave me the following piece of never-to-be forgotten advice when I was 17 "Books'll do you nae guid fan yir oxter deep in dirty hippens an' yer man crying on his tea" (Translation - Books will do you no good when you are up to your armpits in dirty nappies and your husband / bidie is demanding you cook him a meal.")

Scots also lets you use "wife" as a general term for women, not necessarily implying marriage. I think English used to do the same, hence words such as "midwife" and "housewife."

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

It seems that whatever one would prefer to be called, mostly it is one's children or grandchildren who decide. I have one sister who is such a stickler for "proper words" she refused to let them call our mother by any diminutive at all. They had to address her as "grandmother". Recently I saw my 98 yr old mother sign a letter to my sister...."your mother". It just made me feel sad. I call her Mum. My kids call her grandma, or GeeMa. My grandchildren call her great Grandma.

My mother-in-law likes it when I call her Mama. This is formal enough with the right accent. She is Nan, or big Nan to her many grands and great-grands.

My kids call me Mum, Mumma or Ma. The grandkids call me Nanna. My sons-in-law simply try to avoid having to address me by any name at all.

My father referred to his own parents as Mater and Pater. I called them Nanna and Pa. I did suggest I could be called Mutti when one daughter asked what her children could call me to differentiate from the other grandmother (they call her Baka). She was horrified by that, so Nanna it is.

One set of grandchildren already have a Nanna and Pa. They call us Nanna and Gang gang and most of their cousins simply followed suit. One son-in-law hated Gang gang as an option and insists on Grandad.

So now I simply leave it to them. Though occasionally at family functions my husband will announce: "You may all call me The Emperor!" [Razz]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

When my dad died my brother, the oldest of the brood, declared that henceforth he would be known as El Supremo. As he probably expected he didn't get his wish.

Posted by Hugal (# 2734) on :

First names in my case. I get on well with my in-laws. They get on well with my parents. That said my parents are Preston and my in-laws are in Llantwit Major South Wales so they are not exactly in each other's pockets.

Posted by Clarence (# 9491) on :

Prior to our wedding, FD asked my cousin what he called his in-laws. "Des and Beryl", was the response. So, for many years, FD called my parents Des and Beryl, even though their names are Jim and Audrey. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Clarence, I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breathe!!

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