Ship of Fools: VOTE! Wit of the Year

Thread: VOTE! Wit of the Year Board: The Simmies 2009 / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=74;t=000030

Posted by Simon (# 1) on :

Here are the nominations for Wit of the Year. Please remind yourself of why each person was nominated by reading the post below... and then vote for your choice.

Posted by Simon (# 1) on :

Here are the nominations, in alphabetical order, for Wit of the Year.

1. comet

Wit's best post: ho ho ho

Nominated by Chorister: "As much as I hate it when people choose nominations from the last few days rather than bothering to hunt through a year's worth of posts, this one made me LOL after a busy day. Comet, IMO, has just the right blend of cantankerousness blended with wit to make her posts worth reading for their amusement as well as for the point she is trying to make."

2. Gildas

Wit's best post: Potted history of Russia

Nominated by lady in red: "My reasons for nominating: Gildas is a particularly English wit, ISTM. One of those people with a vast knowledge of everything who doubles up as a great raconteur and tells you about everything with dry, sardonic English irony. Gildas gets my vote for being witty while talking about serious things."

3. KenWritez

Wit's best post: Interpretive dance

Nominated by Left at the Altar: "Back from extended leave for only a short time, Ken's in fine form, as usual. The funniest bloke aboard."

Seconded by (among others) Potoroo: "For this post."

4. Sine Nomine

Wit's best post: I gave Gordo up for Lent

Nominated by Ariel: "His posts are consistently witty and his use of language skilled and graceful. He usually manages to sum up a situation or a poster pretty neatly - and shrewdly. Sine has style and quality, and should definitely be nominated."

Seconded by (among others) Twilight: "Supporting quotes are great and I'm sure there are dozens of excellent examples for both candidates, but as a Sine Nomine backer, I would like to point out that many of his wittiest posts have been spontaneous, in the moment, quips that would require reading the entire thread to 'get'. Even better if you happened to be reading the thread as it posted, so you could appreciate the sheer speed of Sine's quirky brain. That's not to say I haven't read entire threads out loud to my family just so they would be able to 'get' Sine's comment and they always think it's worth it."

[fixed link]

[ 19. January 2009, 14:13: Message edited by: Scot ]

Posted by John Donne (# 220) on :

Mm. I see no-one has commented on any real live people yet. So genteel and sensitive you all are confining yourselves to avatars.

But God has laid the heavy burden on my heart of overcoming audience reticence, hence:

Here we have a choice of

a) Sine channelling Noel Coward;

b) Kenwritez channelling the love child of Charlie Chaplin and Marcel Marceau;

c) Gildas channelling Peter Ustinov;

and
d) Comet being Comet.

Now Comet has said many funny things over the course of a year, but this, bless, is not one of them. I blame the nominator of course. Poor Chorister was clearly having a humour-enfeebled day and functioning at the sophistication level of a studio canned-laughter machine in choosing this example.

I like the Coward dryness, bitchiness and campery which is suited to Hell; whereas the Ustinov dryness: cruel-lite and unfazed in the presence of the intelligentsia is suitable for Purg.

Chaplin/Marceau love-child. This post is from the Circus, a board not noted for finely-crafted humour. Therefore, it attracts marks for trying to rise above the mediocrity of its board origins. It was crafted for a context, therefore it is unfair to judge it by more stringent standards. But I will anyway. In true Chaplin/Marceau style, it is overt and tedious.

These are my opinions, of course. If you don't like them; write your own.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by John Donne:
Mm. I see no-one has commented on any real live people yet. So genteel and sensitive you all are confining yourselves to avatars.

But God has laid the heavy burden on my heart of overcoming audience reticence, hence:

Here we have a choice of

a) Sine channelling Noel Coward;

b) Kenwritez channelling the love child of Charlie Chaplin and Marcel Marceau;

c) Gildas channelling Peter Ustinov;

and
d) Comet being Comet.

Let's look a bit further: Sine's entire life channels Noel Coward. I think he deserves points for wit allied to consistency. KenWritez is not only influenced by Chaplin and Marceau (and how do you get Marceau into poetry?) but also by Martha Graham. Quite a trick and even better to make it work. Gildas has put a bit of Ustinov into his military history of Russia but the style leans heavily on the late Alan Coren and finally comet is comet. comet channels nothing and no-one but comet, blazing her own path through virtual space with almost too many examples to choose from.

I go for KenWritez because it works as well as the others but is unique on the Ship. Quite possibly unique to the Ship for that matter.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 66) on :

quote:
Originally posted by John Donne:
These are my opinions, of course. If you don't like them; write your own.

Seemed fine to me.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by John Donne:
Poor Chorister was clearly having a humour-enfeebled day and functioning at the sophistication level of a studio canned-laughter machine in choosing this example.

She tickled me. What else was I supposed to do?

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

in some circles I am known as the tickle monster.

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:

quote:
Originally posted by John Donne:
These are my opinions, of course. If you don't like them; write your own.
Seemed fine to me.

You are such an attention whore.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 66) on :

It's not my fault. I was a neglected middle child.

Posted by duchess (# 2764) on :

I voted for the Hawaiian shirt even though I am another neglected middle child. His dance made me lose it.

Posted by Hermes66 (# 12156) on :

It had to be Gildas.

Comparing Hamas to the Pathetic Sharks has made my day.

[Big Grin]

(What should the World do about Gaza? thread).

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

quote:
Originally posted by John Donne:
a) Sine channelling Noel Coward...

Interesting--I've always seen him more as Cole Porter, but I can see your point.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 66) on :

I keep hoping people will see me as Jeff Stryker, but they never do somehow.

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

Perhaps a more revealing gallery pic is called for.

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 66) on :

I'm not sure that would help my case actually.

(Not that anyone's complaining, mind you. But there are no horses being frightened either.)

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

At least you have nice hair...

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

Yes, but since he's No Longer 20 Years Old, it may be that the nice hair just ain't where he wants it any more. At least that's what I've seen as beautiful men age.

This is gonna be a tough one.

The choosing of Wit Of The Year, I mean, not the getting rid of unwanted hair.

Posted by Foaming Draught (# 9134) on :

Do I speak too quickly, or does Simon's injunction come out as Vote Twit of the Year?

FD

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

I see it that way every time.

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

... waiting for The Wit to be revealed... the new American Prez will need a good speech-perker-upper...

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

*the spotlights seem to hunt for something as they roam across the stage. Finally they come to rest, illuminating the podium.*

*to the skirl of the bagpipes, Wet Kipper takes to the stage, resplendent in his full highland outfit as he strides through the fake fog.*

Ladies and gentlemen, shipmates, trolls and lurkers!
Welcome to the award for Best Wit.
No, not a Scotsman asking you to repeat what you said, but a celebration of posts showing:
" the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure."

And now, to help me present the award, would you please welcome on stage JediJudy !

Posted by eeGAD (# 4675) on :

clapping loudly and throwing in a WHOOP WHOOP for JediJudy!

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Through the fog comes a lady in a sparkly midnight blue gown. Her diamonds and sapphires gleaming at her throat and hands...

...she almost trips over some imaginary line...

Thank you, thank you Wet Kipper! It's a great honor to be with you here on this auspicious occasion!

whispers to WK...*Was I supposed to provide some music too, or are we just having bagpipers today??*

I know everyone will be sitting on the edges of their seats to find out who wins Wit of the Year!!!

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

Indeed, Judy !

By the way, would you mind holstering that light saber whilst we're up here ?

So, on to the awards
William Haslett said that "Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.", so let's see who's the saltiest shipmate

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :

Pokes head quickly around curtain.

Has anyone seen a sheep with little blue bows and bells?

Blasted animal!

Scurries off in a frenzy.

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

<... goodness... if that fog don't clear up, they'll have to read the winner's name by sabre-light!...>

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

But, but...I dressed to match my favorite lightsaber. *sigh*

OK, I'll put it away. *****ssssssss*****

Yes! Wet Kipper, you are so right. Salty Shipmates, indeed. And, for those who missed it, there were recipes. I didn't taste any Shipmates, myself, but I'm sure they're delicious!

Posted by eeGAD (# 4675) on :

This presentation is making me hungry. Perhaps I should find a nosh to go with all this champagne....

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

Sheep3 wanders in and nibbles at JediJudy's sparkly blue gown, then gazes up adoringly.

Baaa?

*jingle*

Posted by eeGAD (# 4675) on :

oh look! They're serving lamb chops!

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

Wet Kipper pulls out his skean dhu and chases the sheep offstage
"Judy, would you like to say a few words about each of the nominees?"

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

You know, WK, a lot of these Shipmates who were nominated are close to my heart! (Notice I didn't say "stomach".)

Take, for instance, comet! Our proud Alaskan! And salty to boot! She's witty and shows it in her "right to the point" posts!

And Gildas, it is amazing to learn things while laughing out loud!

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

KenWritez has always made me laugh! I'm sure that Sturdy Wench has a smile on her face from listening to Mr. Writez...not to mention a fully stocked larder of "Shipmate". I'm sure they'll always be able to serve their guests only the best!

Sine Nomine, or as he is known in the Mafia, Uncle Sine. Always correct, always funny, always using the correct utensils.

So, shall I give you the fancy envelope, Wet Kipper?

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

*sounds of bleating are heard from offstage. along with
"there's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman"..*

Posted by jlg (# 98) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wet Kipper:
Wet Kipper pulls out his skean dhu and chases the sheep offstage

Aha, Sheep! Gotcha!

(jlg saves the sheep from Wet Kipper and drags it off to a waiting crowd staring at an empty stage in another auditorium.)

[ 01. February 2009, 17:50: Message edited by: jlg ]

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

jj hugs the sheep and chastizes WK for using his knife.

I thought that was a dirk, Sir!

I'm sure there is some good sheep food around here, Darlin'.

[cain't type fastly]

[ 01. February 2009, 17:50: Message edited by: jedijudy ]

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

* wet Kipper returns, not quite so well dressed as before.
he takes the envelope from Judy, and opens it with his (so far unused) ceremonial dagger

Posted by eeGAD (# 4675) on :

*drooling over shirtless man in kilt*

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

While being dragged away, Sheep3 gazes longingly at JediJudy, wanting more hugs and sheep nibbles...

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wet Kipper:
* wet Kipper returns, not quite so well dressed as before.
he takes the envelope from Judy, and opens it with his (so far unused) ceremonial dagger

A well-made man without a shirt is always dressed for the occasion.

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

"And the winner is..."
the camera pans the audience, to find the nominees. it settles on Comet in her pyjamas , having been unsuccessful in finding Sine Nomine

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

The audience goes "Awwwww" from the cuteness attack.

jj passes her sparkly blue cape to Wet Kipper so as to not destroy his pristine image, and also because Little Miss Chatterbox is looking askance at him.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Look! Isn't that KenWritez dancing in the mezzanine?

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

I'm sure that Gildas is in the Purgatory section, but that's a scary place for little ole me to go on a search mission...

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

Oh, Lord. Does the Presenter have another cloak? He's unfairly distracting the audience...

<... eta, not Gildas, I'm sure Gildas is the very soul of proper ceremonial attire. I meant the Be-Thong-Ed One with the tassel-fringes...>

[ 01. February 2009, 18:07: Message edited by: Janine ]

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

*pausing to watch the dance, Wet Kipper forgets why he's here.*

ummmmm, okay !

"Without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have great pleasure in revealing..."

* from no-where, a sudden and large gust of wind blows across the stage*
[Eek!]

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

That's prolly the Holy Spirit on His way to the Theologian of the Year stage.

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

*ahem*

I have great pleasure in letting you all know.
the winner of Wit of the year is......

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

Never mind flashing your meat and 2 veg - get a bloody move on

eta [Hot and Hormonal]

Bad code. Had a wee dram (or two) while waiting

[ 01. February 2009, 18:15: Message edited by: Qlib ]

Posted by eeGAD (# 4675) on :

*swigs more champagne and stares at WK's pecs*

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

Doublethink is still laughing at the Holy Spirit's revelation of what Wet Kipper wears under his kilt, and almost misses the announcement.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

jj steps deftly in front of Wet Kipper. No wardrobe malfunctions here!

Mr. Kipper, Sir, would you like me to bring the podium out here so you can stand behind it? We don't want any Holy Spirit "accidents", you know.

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

The Ubermeister of Urbanity himself.....
Sine Nomine

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

[Hot and Hormonal]

Bad code. You can tell I've had a dram or two while waiting. Actually 3 drams - because it's taking so bloody long

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

[Overused]

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

The crowd humans, sheep, cannibals and all jump up and down, cheering wildly!!!

Uncle Sine! Uncle Sine! Uncle Sine! Uncle Sine!

WooHoo!

Posted by Angus McDangley (# 11091) on :

Very well deserved. [Biased]

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! [Yipee]

[Trips and falls. Stewards move forward, but she revives and waves them away]

Speech! Speech!

Posted by eeGAD (# 4675) on :

He's now the Award Winning Uncle Sine!! Couldn't have given it to a wittier chap!
[Overused]

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

*not realising his microphone is still on, Wet Kipper leans over to Judy*

"Ah'd better be going, the dinner's oan and a'm starvin".

*and with that, he runs offstage *

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Well done, Sine Nomine!

jj waves at Wet Kipper, then looking at the length of the stage, takes her shoes off and pads barefooted across the stage...without tripping even once.

Sheep 3! There you are! [Big Grin]

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

<... cue much sinuous waving of be-bangled arms overhead, shrill bellydance style cheering... well, someone has to retain the tackiness factor, now Sine's won the thread is suddenly all classy-like...>

Posted by Gort (# 6855) on :

...stares entranced at Janine's jangling belly...

Oh, yes - um...<koff> Ahem! Congratulations, Sine!

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wet Kipper:
*and with that, he runs offstage *

*comet shakes herself awake, looks up to see the parting "shot", and leaps up to chase the real trophy off the stage.*

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

Well deserved! Congratulations, Sine!

Posted by Grits (# 4169) on :

He'll be thrilled. No, seriously -- he will be thrilled. I hope there's a prize. He'll be expecting it.

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

Yay, Sine!

Oh there's a fine prize, Grits. Simon displays it on the show thread above. It may mean that Sine won't need to buy that new TV after all.

Posted by KenWritez (# 3238) on :

Congratulations, Sine! It was the ice cream forks that did it, I bet. [Big Grin]

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 66) on :

Oh, jeez...you guys. That is just so nice. I'm speechless.

Well, perhaps not really speechless. But touched. Definitely touched. (I see a lot of heads nodding out there.)

And I just wanna thank all the people who give me so much material to work with by being on the same planet. Because I like to think 'wit' has to do with pointing out - in Christian love, of course - the huge difference between what people say and what they do, which even as a little child puzzled and confused me. In fact it still does.

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

*schniffle*

Congratulations, Sine. And you are not tetched.

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

I am so proud of Sine Nomine. Somebody pass the ice cream.

[ 03. February 2009, 05:11: Message edited by: Janine ]

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0