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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: On my 80th birthday I am going to ........
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Start smoking again.
P
[ 19. June 2003, 18:02: Message edited by: Erin ]
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
My mother who has been smoking since she was 16 gave up a few months ago at the age of 76. She always says if she were told she had 6 months to live she would take it up again.
Huia - whose only smoking is the passive kind.
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sean D
Cheery barman
# 2271
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Posted
On my 80th birthday I am going to be very glad I'm still alive.
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postpostevangelical
http://www.stmellitus.org/
Posts: 2126 | From: North and South Kensington | Registered: Feb 2002
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
On my 80th birthday I am going to...
pee on my nurse's feet!
After all, people have been doing it to me for years - so, why the hell not?? ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Raspberry Rabbit
Will preach for food
# 3080
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Posted
With Pyx_e I am going to buy a 25 pack of Players Light and have a cup of Tim Horton's coffee and a smoke.
Raspberry Rabbit
Montreal, QC
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...naked pirates not respecting boundaries...
(((BLOG)))
Posts: 2215 | From: In the middle of France | Registered: Jul 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I expect I shall probably be spinning in my grave. Alternatively, I have an increasingly long list of people I intend to haunt.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Tell people I'm 29, again.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Go Karting. ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
At the risk of just wheeling out a list of "things I have to give up a day at a time but really can not wait til I am to old to care to do again" (which is what this thread is really about for me) I also wish to add:
Sit on a beach and get utterly wasted on blow.
Drink real coffee after 4.00 p.m.
Make a few inappropriate passes at young women (and maybe by then men?)
Moon the bishop.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Gambit
London Shipmeet King
# 766
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Posted
To trans/di-gress slightly, on my 800th (and yes, I do mean that) birthday I'm going to think 'Why's it so dark in here?'
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There is a little bit of my mitral regurgitation that is forever yours.
Wiblog: Now being updated less than regularly (again).
Posts: 1105 | From: the best bar in Heaven | Registered: Jul 2001
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Slide down a banister, like the aged Indiana Jones in the "Young Indiana Jones" tv series. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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QLib
Bad Example
# 43
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Posted
.....assassinate somebody worth chopping, preferably in a country where they have both armed police and the death penalty, so that I don't have to die of old age.
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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
A friend of mine wants to form a Convalescent Home that is recreational-drug friendly.
The gardens would have some interesting weeds and fungi.
The motto would be:
"Kid's don't bother to come visit us, we are doing FINE."
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Thumbprint
Shipmate
# 3056
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Posted
Having my children take care of me while I scatter my toys all over their house.
- turn about is fair play right? ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
T.
Posts: 172 | From: In the Pool | Registered: Jul 2002
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Puffin
Apprentice
# 1295
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Posted
Blow out the candles and enjoy the cake
Posts: 40 | From: Glasgow | Registered: Sep 2001
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
With a glass of champagne and hopefully a cuddle...
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Visit the graves of my enemies and laugh.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
Daughter-Unit says I should go on a cruise and find a "hot" man.
She also says I will probably go to work and play the organ.
"Look! She's still alive! Do you think she'll make it up the platform? Oh, Geeez, she made it. When is she going to die so we can get a new, young organist???"
jj
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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
...hopefully have finally learnt how to write a good screenplay, and write them.
...still wink at my wife and grab her ass.
...admire my vast collection of baseball-style caps.
...enjoy an oak-grilled porterhouse steak with grilled onions, a side of french fries, and the best damn bottle of wine I can find.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
...STREAK! Streak, streak, STREAK! Flabby breasts and dangling buttocks everywhere, folks! It ain't gonna be pretty, but it must be done!
And after that I'm gonna take a nice hot bath while getting my feet rubbed by a smooth young man.
Anyone want to check up on me in 46 years?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
...piss in the front yard.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
Probably not very much, because if I take after anyone in my family I´ll be dead, or have another 10 years to live.
No-one has bothered making a big thing of 80th birthdays in our family, we had a couple of great 90ths and we´re coming up to one 95th...
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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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auntbeast
Shipmate
# 377
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Posted
Get a bottle of really good Scotch, a bottle of exceptional wine, a chef to make dinner, and some strapping young "pool boy" to serve and amuse me. Of course I would be more than willing long before I am 80... any time now would be fine!
I remember once sitting in a bar in a small Northern town with a friend of mine who was in her early 50's then (I was in my mid 20's) and discussing age from our relative standpoints. My friend said "I can't wait until I am really old and can sit in the bar, drink, belch, fart, and grab young men's asses with impunity (sp?)... what the hell I think I shall practice!" and with that ordered another drink and went in search of some poor young man.
Here's to making it to 80 with our brains and bladder control intact!
All good things,
Auntbeast
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"My vices are the children of a forced solitude that I abhor; and my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal" - Mary Shelley (Frankenstein)
Posts: 820 | From: Vancouver, Canada | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
tell that joke about the undertakers in the pulpit.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
Or you could tell us it now.
Viki
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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nouwen
Shipmate
# 3103
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Posted
streak across a football pitch ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Speaking the truth is not the same as being negative.
Posts: 477 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jul 2002
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
Collect on my life insurance, if I haven't already. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
That should have said "if my wife hasn't already."
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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seadog
Shipmate
# 2931
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Posted
Fart openly in front of visitors.
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A good landing is a succession of errors rapidly corrected.
Posts: 433 | From: Isle of Wight, UK | Registered: Jun 2002
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PeteB
Shipmate
# 2357
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Posted
Be shot by a jealous husband whilst on my way home from an all-night party.
(After Roger McGough)
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Believe in the ethics. Can't accept the mumbo jumbo.
Clem Attlee on Christianity
Posts: 211 | From: Swindon, UK | Registered: Feb 2002
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
who's snowden?
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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DorotheaLydgate
Apprentice
# 3893
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Posted
a mountain in wales. my brother and I have a pact to climb it again, only because I think I'll be able to beat him when I'm 80 and he's 82.
Posts: 29 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2003
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
write a "tell-all" book.
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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zephirine of the roses
Soul of the rose
# 3323
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
...STREAK! Streak, streak, STREAK! Flabby breasts and dangling buttocks everywhere, folks! It ain't gonna be pretty, but it must be done!
And after that I'm gonna take a nice hot bath while getting my feet rubbed by a smooth young man.
Anyone want to check up on me in 46 years?
LOL!
i'll join you and if we're unable to run, we'll lady godiva it with our wheelchairs. mine will have a sissy bar, a flathead motor with a kick-start and magenta leather uphostery.
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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We are, each of us, angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other."
*~ Luciano De Crescenzo
Posts: 1756 | From: middle of an apple orchard in ny | Registered: Sep 2002
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
ARRGHHH! The imagery, the imagery!! ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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zephirine of the roses
Soul of the rose
# 3323
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Geo:
ARRGHHH! The imagery, the imagery!!
you'll be wearing thick glasses by then. just take em off. or better yet...
join us! ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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We are, each of us, angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other."
*~ Luciano De Crescenzo
Posts: 1756 | From: middle of an apple orchard in ny | Registered: Sep 2002
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Yes, but I have a graphic imagination now!!!!!
Okay maybe if I can join in, that helps.....
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Nude old lady wheelchair drag racing! HOODY-HOO!
It's a date!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ags:
On my 80th birthday I am going to...
pee on my nurse's feet!
After all, people have been doing it to me for years - so, why the hell not??
Why have I never seen this thread before - it's fantastic!
When I worked on an orthopaedic ward a few years ago we had a very similar discussion, and I am happy to report that should I be in hospital for my 80th with a fractured neck of femur, I have every intention of sleeping all day, screaming all night and being sexually inappropriate with the male nurses 60 years my junior.
However if I'm anywhere else I'd love to join Kelly and Zeph's nekkid bathchair race. Or perhaps we should go for a trans-Atlantic challenge maybe?
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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ChrisT
One of the Good Guys™
# 62
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Posted
I will start reliving my misspent youth.
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Firmly on dry land
Posts: 6489 | From: Here, there and everywhere | Registered: May 2001
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Quizmaster
Quick quipper
# 1435
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Posted
Adopt a pensioner and look after them.
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The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions.
OR=========================================
The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.
Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001
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Clyde
Shipmate
# 752
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Posted
Does this thread not preclude and thereby descriminates against those of us who are already over eighty.?
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I've not been on the ship for a long time. I'm very old now and don't like it when the sea gets rough.
Posts: 1279 | From: England. | Registered: Jul 2001
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Arabella Purity Winterbottom
Trumpeting hope
# 3434
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Posted
I want to be like my partner's mother, who is still active politically - she stopped travelling all over the world to UN gatherings at 80, but is still invited to speak and harrass governments fairly frequently.
Or my own mother, for that matter, who will probably be looking after "old" ladies.
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Hell is full of the talented and Heaven is full of the energetic. St Jane Frances de Chantal
Posts: 3702 | From: Aotearoa, New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2002
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Eminentisimo
Apprentice
# 3924
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Posted
Grow my nose hair.
It will look great flowing in the breeze in the nude wheel chair races.
Go Granny go!
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Numerare tuos disce dias
Posts: 22 | From: London, England | Registered: Jan 2003
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