quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:
I got an email today from a customer who couldn't use some data files I had sent her -- and the reason she gave was that their computer system was K sensitive

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:


“Asterix” for *.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pânts:
Allelulia

Makes me laugh every time (particularly when people dont realise they're doing it!!).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by PhilA:
If I receive anything in text language, I respond by asking them to write in English, and ignore the message until they do. I don't know why it winds me up, but it does.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Just a few, the first of which annoys me.

“Asterix” for *.

---

I had a few friends who just would not be convinced that it was actually asterisk. Despite my running both through the spellcheck, etc...

They said "Why else were the Asterix books so named?"

I gave up. It was a losing battle.


Amorya
 

---

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I heard someone say of some uneconomic office space - 'The place was a complete pink elephant!'

Belfast used to have a local dignitary who was famous for the likes of:

[on redecorating the city chambers] 'Sure all it needs is a coat of Durex'

'There have been allegations made! I tell yous I know that allegations have been made - and whats more, I know the alligator!'
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
There are lots of people who write "free reign" or "reign in" for "free rein" or "rein in" - they're horse-riding metaphors, not kinging (or queening) ones.
 

---

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
My mother used to work with a woman who would say, "We have enough to tidy us over."

On the face of it, that actually makes more sense.

Moo
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
Just had an email to tell me a sink is 'licking'. Not to worry, though - 'the staff have put a plastic recipient under it'.
 

---

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
A relative of mine, who had heard that a friend of hers had a coronary thrombosis, told me that he had a 'trombone heart.'

I did not laugh in front of her (though she'd previously told me that someone with a hysterectormy had a 'hysteria operation.') But I'm afraid I did laugh aloud when she saw a man playing a string bass on television, and said he had 'the big guitar.'

My dad's brother was afraid of heights. Dad used to say that he had 'hydrophobia.'
 

---

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
My very favorite was a flyer I saw at my auto mechanic's - someone advertising their services as a "Notory Republic." If you don't even know what you do, don't advertise!

My grandmother was known for linguistic slips... For example, she once met a relative of a prominent Utah politician and said they were a "Moron" just like their uncle. She also told the story of when my family had a "torpedo" go over our house. My grandpa laughed at her, so she said, "I mean, a Toronado!"

I seem to have inherited that somewhat, though. I was bringing a friend with me to visit my parents, and I pointed out (what looked like a recent grave) my mom's "spagetti garden." Of course, it's a "lasagna" garden (so named for the layering technique involved).
 

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Posted by melliethepooh (# 8762) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amorya:

They said "Why else were the Asterix books so named?"

Amorya

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:
I got an email today from a customer who couldn't use some data files I had sent her -- and the reason she gave was that their computer system was K sensitive -- I needed to make the file names all lower-case. Clearly she had heard this term but had never seen it in print (or made the connection).

This to me goes far beyond knowing where to put the apostrophe in its.

Anybody else have any run-ins with the linguistically handicapped that we can laugh at?

---

I'll keep my eye out. My helpdesk feeds me a daily supply. It's "The Chronicles of George" all over again.

Charlotte
 

---

Posted by Freddy (# 365) on :
 
My wife worked with someone who would often observe that we live in a doggy-dog world.
 

---

Posted by Hazey Jane (# 8754) on :
 
*Someone* I know thought, for far too many years, that the phrase was "If the cat fits....". The actually phrase does make a little more sense...
 

---

Posted by Jajehu (# 6196) on :
 
A few days back, laying in supplies for the holiday season, I stopped in one of our state liquor stores. An attempted consultation with the nice young man on duty quickly escalated into "pronounced" warfare, thus:

Me: I'm looking for a nice claret(KLAH -rett)."

Him: Oh, right this way. Here's where we stock the claret (klah-RAY)."

Me: Ah. Er. Is there anything particular claret (KLAH -rett)you could recommend for (describe needs)?

Him: Well, this claret (klah-RAY) is especially nice with . . . but this other claret (klah-RAY) is also recommended for . . .

Me: Well, that claret (KLAH -rett) is a bit pricey. Do you have a CLARET (KLAH -rett) with the fruity tones you mentioned that's a little less expensive?

And so on. Neither of us gave an inch, but got increasingly insistent as we went on. By the end of the transaction we were pronouncing daggers at each other.

Only later did I find it funny.
 

---

Posted by Matrix (# 3452) on :
 
My mother, bless her, is somewhat linguistically challenged. One of her better ones was when she looked up at the ceiling in the lounge and declared that "Your dad needs to aztec that again"

bizarre huh?

on a personal level, it's spoonerisms that trip me up, i once, in a sermon, talked of those who "don't peel a fart of God's family"



M
 

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Posted by Vikki Pollard (# 5548) on :
 
It's a quarter of a century since I noticed someone using 'pacific' for 'specific'. I always notice that one, for some reason, and I think it's getting more common.

Even very well-educated people use it, and at times it leads to interesting unintentional meanings!
 

---

Posted by Pob (# 8009) on :
 
My sister once announced proudly to her friends that I was mainlining at a prominent music venue...
 

---

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pob:
My sister once announced proudly to her friends that I was mainlining at a prominent music venue...

---

Well, as long as you're not doing it prominently, I guess...

Vikki, I have a similar one to yours. (Actually, "similar" is one too - people in my family even say "simular" - and we don't even need to mention "nucular"...)
I've been noticing more and more educated people, including people on TV (who may or may not be so educated) saying "quote... unquote." Am I wrong, or isn't it supposed to be "endquote"? Not that it bugs me a whole lot, but it surprises me. Might be one of those things where usage is changing what's considered to be correct.
 

---

Posted by Zipporah (# 3896) on :
 
I remember some years ago, my old landlady used to tell me quite seriously, that "Take The High Road" (a Scottish soap opera, now long gone) was filmed in lust! 'Twas all I could do to keep from laughing out loud (it was actually filmed in the village of Luss ... )
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
And does anyone still have a muriel on their wall?

I was once told in shocked tones by a new neighbour that the people she had previously lived next door to were, horror of horrors, naturalists. I knew immediately what she meant. Nobody wants a neighbour who goes round collecting wild animals. People have quite enough trouble keeping other people's cats out of their gardens, never mind coping with herds of straying wildebeest and kangaroos constantly demolishing fences and sheds.
 

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Posted by Rowen (# 1194) on :
 
Yesterday, an elderly lady told me her daughter was "pett-tight". I thought she said "Hittite" at first, and my look of puzzlement made the woman explain impatiently "Pett-tight, you know.... small, slender...."
"Oh, that pett-tight" I replied. "Of course."

And, even living by the Pacific Ocean doesn't help some people here remember "specific" shouldn't be confused with "Pacific".

[ 16. December 2004, 19:58: Message edited by: Rowen ]
 

---

Posted by The Prophetess (# 1439) on :
 
A friend once described a dodgy neighborhood as "a place where they throw Mazel Tov cocktails."
 

---

Posted by Laura (# 10) on :
 
Asterix, of comic fame, is a humorously false Gaulish kingly name, a take-off of, for example, Vercingetorix (a real Arverni chieftain who lead the Gauls to victory against the Romans back around 52 BCE), as the Wikipedia entry clarifies:

quote:

---

A key feature of the text of the Asterix books are the constant puns used as names of characters; The names of the two protagonists come from asterisk and obelisk, Asterix being the star of the books (Latin aster [star] and Celtic rix [king]), and Obelix being a menhir delivery-man. Nearly all the Gaulish characters' names end in -ix, probably a reference to the real-life Gaulish chieftain such as Vercingetorix. (All male Gaulish characters, including Obelix's small dog, have names ending in -ix. Now, in reality, only the names of Gaulish kings—and not even all of the kings—ended in -ix. In fact, those that did always ended in -rix, which meant "king" and is incidentally a cognate to Latin rex, German Reich, English rich, Sanskrit raajaH, etc. English language examples include the chief (Vitalstatistix), the druid (Getafix), the fishmonger (Unhygienix), an old man (Geriatrix) with a young wife. Incidental characters often feature names like Hiphiphurrax and Mykingdomforanos. These puns reflect the French original, in which, for example, the chief is called Abraracourcix, derived from the phrase "à bras raccourcis" meaning with arms raised and ready, ready to punch. The Egyptian in Astérix Légionnaire is named Courdeténis in French and Ptenisnet in English.

---

 

---

Posted by m.t_tomb (# 3012) on :
 
In response to my not liking liver: 'It's a required taste'

In response to my being selfish: 'You think the world evolves around you.'

I love my mum
 

---

Posted by Laura (# 10) on :
 
A prominent attorney with whom I have worked was once telling me about a witness he had who was "prevaricating" on how he would answer a certain question if asked on the stand. I knew he meant "vacillating"; he was far too august to correct in a meeting, but I hope it was a temporary slip of the tongue and not something he went on to use in court!
 

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Posted by Rowen (# 1194) on :
 
And my own favourite.... Although you need to remember that in Oz "ass" usually means "donkey", whilst "arse" usually means one's backside. This can be a bit surprising to American visitors, who may use "ass" to refer to one's posterior.

The American in my smalltown congregation loved her new country of residence, and believed she was learning the culture and fitting in nicely. She had stopped telling folk which sports team she was rooting for (here that would mean to "have wild sex with the whole lot of them!"). Then we rostered her to do the gospel reading for Palm Sunday. She asked which version she should use- and I said any was fine... The one she used had some Americanisms in it, and I realised she was making a few running changes on the spot to Australianise the phrases.
And then she got to some verse which referred to how Jesus rode into Jerusalem.... She looked a bit panicky, but then beamed proudly. She had remembered all those confusing cross-ocean word-meaning-changes.
"Jesus rode into Jerusalem on his small arse." (Or however the words went- but it was definately "arse")

We restrained our giggles, but the whole congregation appeared to share my vision!

[ 16. December 2004, 20:09: Message edited by: Rowen ]
 

---

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
When I was working in IT, the help desk manager was a competent but highly nervous sort, who would be in a rush to get messages out whenever there was a problem. When he saw a word flagged by the 'spell checker' as incorrect, he tended to hit 'replace' without seeing if the highlighted correction was the one he wished.

My favourite example: "The server is down. We are working to bring it back up. Sorry for the incontinence."
 

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Posted by Boopy (# 4738) on :
 
As the party season is nearly upon us I have noticed this year that more and more people seem to think that 'invite' is a noun. Aaarrgh.
 

---

Posted by aj (# 1383) on :
 
Kath & Kim

(will be appearing on BBC TV soon, I believe)

Kim: "I want to be effluent"
Kath: "You are effluent, Kim"
 

---

Posted by KenWritez (# 3238) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amazing Grace:
It's "The Chronicles of George" all over again.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
It's a quarter of a century since I noticed someone using 'pacific' for 'specific'. I always notice that one, for some reason, and I think it's getting more common.

Even very well-educated people use it, and at times it leads to interesting unintentional meanings!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Boopy:
As the party season is nearly upon us I have noticed this year that more and more people seem to think that 'invite' is a noun. Aaarrgh.

---

It is... it's in the OED

n. invite
colloq.

[f. INVITE v.: cf. command, request, etc.] 

    1. The act of inviting; an invitation.


Amorya
 

---

Posted by Laura (# 10) on :
 
There's a nice scene in House of Cards in which Francis Urquhart looks wryly into the camera after hearing a colleague say the following line in a speech: We have grasped the nettle, and we've taken it on board!"

On the other hand, certain phrases can only stand up to so much abuse before they appear used incorrectly in major newspapers. The Washington Post printed a story the other day in which "begs the question" was used to mean "raises the question", which is not at all what "begs the question" means.
 

---

Posted by Laura (# 10) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ringtailed Lemur:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
It's a quarter of a century since I noticed someone using 'pacific' for 'specific'. I always notice that one, for some reason, and I think it's getting more common.

...at least once in every sentence, pronounced it every time as "pacific", despite two or three of us pointedly pronouncing it correctly in comments we made to her. And I saw at least four of the group wincing every time she pronounced it wrong.

---

---

I hear this all the time. It drives me as nuts as "irregardless" does.

[Fixed bad Admin's code. You parse it out. ]

[ 17. December 2004, 00:15: Message edited by: KenWritez ]
 

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Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
I once worked with a woman who thought the expression was "at the drop of a hand" and told me the heartbreaking story of a neighbor's dog that ran into traffic, was struck by a car, and died instamaticly.
 

---

Posted by Esme:ralda (# 582) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Prophetess:
A friend once described a dodgy neighborhood as "a place where they throw Mazel Tov cocktails."

---

Ooh... I want to live in that neighbourhood!

My pet hate is when people say 'nucular'. Come on - if you can say 'new' and 'clear', surely you can say 'nuclear'? 'Nuptual' annoys me too - it's nuptial ! (Maybe they think 'nuptual' sounds more 'voluptious'? . I also hate that neologism, 'attendee'. A person who attends something is an 'attender'. An 'attendee' is someone who is attended (or possibly attended to?).

As for slips, my school friend's little sister ran into the house and announced to her mother that school friend no 2 (aged, I seem to remember, 13) and a boy were 'shagging' in the shed. Actually, they were only snogging...

The friend who was the snogger (or snoggee?) grew up to work in the complaints department at British Telecom. She received a letter saying 'My husband refuses to pay the phone bill because he says it is absorbent'.

I had a university friend who used to do Tai Chi. To my great surprise, twenty years after I'd last seen him, he and his wife and kid moved into the next road to me. When I mentioned this to my mother, she said 'Is he still practising his marital arts?' I presume, given the presence of the kid, that he is.
 

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Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
My school friend had a number of these - how about 'pompous grass' for pampas grass? Since pampas grass sticks up very tall, and is often on the front lawns of pompous people, it fits very well.

Then there was 'desecrated coconut' (for dessicated) and when I had my nose cauterised, she told everyone I was having it 'castrated'.

I'm still trying to convince Hugal that you do something 'off your own bat' and not 'off your own back' too.
 

---

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 
Hugal, you had the good sense to marry her. Now have the good sense to listen to her.

----
I often engage in Spoonerisms. Sometimes this for humourous intent, other times cos I stuff up.

One day I was watching a festival parade. A friend was on a parade float decorated as a medieval castle. He jumped down and presented me with a rose. "Ah, my shite in knining armour!" I knew something was wrong with that phrase, but it took me 5 minutes to work out why it didn't sound quite right.
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
My mother once heard a very young priest telling the congo how "Jesus farted forty days in the wilderness". The tragedy was that nobody had noticed until he corrected himself...
 

---

Posted by Papa Smurf (# 1654) on :
 
My boss keeps talking about something "as apposed to" something else.....
 

---

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
If we're allowed to include Mothers, many of whom seem to gain a particular number of linguistic oddities about the same time they stop producing colostrum, we have:

War and Far for Wire and Fire
Brought for Bought (owing to repeated corrections by over zealous children, she now emphasises the word "bought" to show she now says it correctly)
Obsroclous for Obstreperous
Cold Slaw. I loved that one. Well, you keep it in the fridge; it is cold, isn't it?

And the answer to many questions as a child was "It awe depends".
 

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Posted by Karin 3 (# 3474) on :
 
Your poor mum, Karl. I thought it was meant to be the other way round, although I've tried to restrain those tendencies so as not to sap my kids' confidence as they learnt to speak.

A classic the other day was a customer telling me how much she was enjoying listening to Bercause (like because with an "r"). It transpierd it was Berceuse.
 

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Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
On the pronunciation front, one that really annoys me is 'vunnrible' for vulnerable.

Matt
 

---

Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 
Mrs Dogwatch, who is slightly dyslexic, has a way with malapropisms, some of which have passed into the family vocabulary, rather like examples from the recent thread on the development of language in small children.

Among her best are "hunchback" for a 5-door car and "laptop dancer" for an employee in a men's club.

A propos the dyslexia, she once phoned BT's directory enquiries and asked for the number of the British Dyslexia Association. The BT employee asked, "Can you spell that?" You can imagine the answer.

Dogwatch
 

---

Posted by dorothea (# 4398) on :
 
When encountering this degree of pedantry, it heartens me to recall that Shakespeare had problems spelling his name.

You poor, poor babes.


J



 

---

Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
'Substantial' and 'substantive' confusion is another bugbear of mine

Matt
 

---

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Don't forget "relative" and "relevant".

Number of times I've been told that a particular seminar is relative to my job...
 

---

Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by dorothea:
When encountering this degree of pedantry, it heartens me to recall that Shakespeare had problems spelling his name.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matt Black:
On the pronunciation front, one that really annoys me is 'vunnrible' for vulnerable.

Matt

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by dorothea:
When encountering this degree of pedantry, it heartens me to recall that Shakespeare had problems spelling his name.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:
In response to my being selfish: 'You think the world evolves around you.'

---

Ah, but isn't this the point of this thread? We all wish the world around us would evolve...
 

---

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Telling one on myself: though I do not do this when I 'hand write' letters, and normally catch the mistake if I type and then review anything in print, when I am posting on the Internet I often misspell words - or, more accurately, use the wrong form - if they sound alike. Typing "here" for "hear" is a common fault.

I made a huge blunder yesterday, when I was reading aloud from a theological work. The term used was 'living organisms'... the mistake I made with the second word probably means that this is one of those weeks when I'm finding my vowed celibacy difficult...

Have any of you heard people say 'acropolis' for 'apocalypse'? I know someone who does that all of the time. (I never heard of 'pacific' for 'specific' until I read this thread. Yet the priests among us have undoubtedly heard people say they wanted to 'make concession'... indeed, concession often is exactly what must be on their minds.)
 

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Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
'Respectfully' for 'respectively'

Matt
 

---

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sparrow:
Mine is "deteriate" for deteriorate - even heard it said that way by an announcer on the BBC 6pm news!

---

I worked at a TV station for a while, and became convinced that the folks in our news department went into TV journalism rather than print because they couldn't read or write.
 

---

Posted by Atmospheric Skull (# 4513) on :
 
Along the lines of Jajehu's "claret" experience:

ME: [To assistant in supermarket] Excuse me, where do you keep your humous?
HIM: Our...
ME: Houmous.
HIM: Oh, the humorous. It's just over here, sir.
 

---

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
If I read or hear one more person using "specie" as the singular of "species", or "phenomena" or "bacteria" as singulars, I shall probably blow a vessel.
 

---

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
I grew up calling parmesan cheese "par-MEE-zhun," as that's how my parents pronounced it. When a neighbor gave us some eggplant parmesan, we asked what the dish was called, and mom didn't understand her pronunciation of "Eggplant PAR-mi-zhan." When my mom wrote down the recipe later, she named the dish "Eggplant Pommijohn."
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
If I read or hear one more person using "specie" as the singular of "species", or "phenomena" or "bacteria" as singulars, I shall probably blow a vessel.

---

• Feb-yoo-ary;
• supposably, rather that supposedly; and
• the misused reflexive, e.g., "Who was at the meeting? John, Mary, and myself."

And here's where I confess that for years I thought the phrase was "Don't take me for granite."
 

---

Posted by melliethepooh (# 8762) on :
 
is it feb-ru-rary or feb-ru-ary or feb-u-ary or what? I've heard it pronounced as many ways as possible and none more often than the other.
 

---

Posted by Sienna (# 5574) on :
 
For years, I put folded garments into my "chester drawers" instead of my "chest of drawers."

And a secretary in our office painstaking typed a very detailed "foyer" request to a government agency, instead of a FOIA request - then told me she'd been doing it that way for years, and no one had ever said anything.
 

---

Posted by Boopy (# 4738) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amorya:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Boopy:
As the party season is nearly upon us I have noticed this year that more and more people seem to think that 'invite' is a noun. Aaarrgh.

---

It is... it's in the OED

n. invite
colloq.

[f. INVITE v.: cf. command, request, etc.] 

    1. The act of inviting; an invitation.


Amorya

---

Blast! Clearly one of those occasions when the OED is Plain Wrong.

At least they had the grace to agree it is a colloquialism.
 

---

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
is it feb-ru-rary or feb-ru-ary or feb-u-ary or what? I've heard it pronounced as many ways as possible and none more often than the other.

---

Feb-ru-ary, the clue is in the spelling. I have recently noticed how many people mis-pronounce "Wednesday" as "Wensday".

Quite a few years ago I went to a library to find a book on origami. The assistant told me that there probably wasn't a book specifically about origami, but she would be able to get me one in which it was mention.

She got me a book on culinary herbs! She couldn't hear the difference between oregano and origami.
 

---

Posted by Talitha (# 5085) on :
 
People mixing up horde and hoard. (OK, I suppose they both involve large quantities, but still.)

People saying "on X's behalf" instead of "on X's part". As in, "I thought that was really restrained on my behalf."
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
is it feb-ru-rary or feb-ru-ary or feb-u-ary or what?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Laura:
I hate it when people say "he changed tact" instead of "tack".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:
I have recently noticed how many people mis-pronounce "Wednesday" as "Wensday".

---

quote:

---

Wednes·day [ wénz dày, wénzdee ] (plural Wednes·days)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mamacita:
When my mom wrote down the recipe later, she named the dish "Eggplant Pommijohn."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pânts:
Allelulia

Makes me laugh every time (particularly when people dont realise they're doing it!!).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jajehu:

Someone posted this above, but I have several students this term who are determined to make "supposably" a word.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Balaam:

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:
I have recently noticed how many people mis-pronounce "Wednesday" as "Wensday".

---

That is not mis-pronounced.

From Encarta:

quote:

---

Wednes·day [ wénz dày, wénzdee ] (plural Wednes·days)

---

How would you pronounce "Wednesday"?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
Voe-tawn's dog (Wodansdag) when I'm Speaking Swedish or attempting German...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Balaam:

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:
I have recently noticed how many people mis-pronounce "Wednesday" as "Wensday".

---

That is not mis-pronounced.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
Voe-tawn's dog (Wodansdag) when I'm Speaking Swedish or attempting German...

---

Actually in German it's just Mittwoch.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Newman's Own:
I naturally have my pedantic streak (and know I am in good company here), but it irks me when people who do not know how to pronounce a word (or who cannot accept that some words have various pronunciations) are always correcting others. I remember one such soul who used to correct my Italian (for example, if I were referring to operas), though she did not even speak the language.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
Since the line has been crossed into foreign pronunciation of words: The town of San Jose, near my Grandparent's out in Illinois, is always pronounced phonetically. Cairo becomes kay-ro, like the corn syrup. And Buena Vista, not too far from home, is more like byoona vesta.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Laura:
I had a great-great-great aunt named "Buena Vista", after the eponymous battle. They called her "Byoo-nee".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
hugs (or hot chocolate if he's the kind of person who hits people who hug him) for Jajehu

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Laura:
I had a great-great-great aunt named "Buena Vista", after the eponymous battle. They called her "Byoo-nee".

---

You're joking...right? no?

Then that's wonderful...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
Then there are all the (probably apocryphal) audio-typist stories. Like 'triennial balance sheet' which ended up as 'try any old balance sheet'. Or 'Sir Michael Spears' for 'cervical smears'.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Lad Himself:
I also know an English teacher who agrees with the rest of the cosmos that the word "amn't" is unacceptable, but is no more able to provide a decent explanation for why that should be so than the rest of the cosmos. Perhaps someone here could explain it. "I amn't going to go there." What's the problem? Am I bound by some insane rule to merge the "I" into the "a" of "am"? It may be an ugly word but it's perfectly logical.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
Then there are all the (probably apocryphal) audio-typist stories. Like 'triennial balance sheet' which ended up as 'try any old balance sheet'. Or 'Sir Michael Spears' for 'cervical smears'.

---

Might have a germ of truth in them...

When I was working in a university Humanities Center, we hosted a conference and decided later to issue a proceedings. I was compiling and editing the papers. We had a student assistant at the time who started transcribing the talks (of those speakers who spoke from notes & couldn't provide their paper). The theme was "The Humanities and Civic Engagement," and one speaker was talking about Horace Mann's pioneer work in the public schools. The student assistant transcribed it as "the horsemen" who founded the public schools...

Unfortunately, there was a Distinguished Professor who submitted his paper with a very ambiguously worded sentence (due to grammatical error). I emailed him two versions of the sentence, which had different meanings but could each be construed as a correction of his grammar. He wrote back, "I prefer to leave it alone and let the reader figure it out." Of course, I then picked which one I thought reflected his meaning, since poor grammar in print reflects badly on the editor more than on the writer! (What would some professors do if people stopped holding their hands? )
 

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Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
Oops, missed the edit window.

A friend of mine was staying with people in London for a while, and her hostess offered them some "tor-till-as" - pronouncing the "l"s. When the Americans corrected her, "You mean 'tor-tee-yas?" she was puzzled, went and got the bag, pointed to the spelling and said, "No, it says here, 'tor-till-as'."

That's not how you Brits pronounce it, is it?
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
Oops, missed the edit window.

A friend of mine was staying with people in London for a while, and her hostess offered them some "tor-till-as" - pronouncing the "l"s. When the Americans corrected her, "You mean 'tor-tee-yas?" she was puzzled, went and got the bag, pointed to the spelling and said, "No, it says here, 'tor-till-as'."

That's not how you Brits pronounce it, is it?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:

A friend of mine was staying with people in London for a while, and her hostess offered them some "tor-till-as" - pronouncing the "l"s. When the Americans corrected her, "You mean 'tor-tee-yas?" she was puzzled, went and got the bag, pointed to the spelling and said, "No, it says here, 'tor-till-as'."

---

Um, pronounce Edinburgh for me, please. Now, I must admit that a thrill of irritation went through me as I read this post. The very idea of an American correcting an English[wo]man's pronunciation fills me with a horrid combination of revulsion and irritation.
 

---

Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
There's a UK sandwich chain called Pret a Manger, which has a branch near my office. A former colleague used to try to show off her knowledge of French by pronouncing it 'Pray' - not realising that you pronounce the t when the next word starts with a vowel.

Hearing 'I'm just off to Pray' was rather bizarre, particularly from this particular colleague.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:
The very idea of an American correcting an English[wo]man's pronunciation fills me with a horrid combination of revulsion and irritation.

---

Sure, it was your language first. But there are more of us. And we're louder.
 

---

Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:
Um, pronounce Edinburgh for me, please.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matt Black:
A similar error seems to be made frequently with the champers Moet et chandon

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ann:
No, but I'd prefer people said Jalopeno Peppers using English Rules rather than authentic Spanish and sprayed the whole deli.

---

Seeing as in Spanish you pronounce J as an H...I really wonder how this individual managed to spray anything.

Now say "Saguaro"!
 

---

Posted by KenWritez (# 3238) on :
 
...so yeah, I can see your irritation has a valid basis, much as when you Brits correct us on the pronunciation of "Worcestershire" and "Mapledurham."

Of course, that brings up the bizarre and illogical UK practice of the shoving in of unnecessary extra letters into words, such as those that ought to end in "-or" but now end in "-our." "Honour," "colour," et al.

Let's not forget "-re" either. No, the UK doesn't have center theater, it has "centre theatre," and I hope you all eat "fibre," not fiber.

When UK people get sick, they wear "pyjamas" and have "diarrhoea," and when they're in wombs, they're a "foetus," and when they find themselves singing, they "realise" they "harmonise" while driving cars which are equipped with a "bonnet," a "boot," "tyres" and a "carburettor."

Sheesh! Somebody'd think we spoke a common language or something!
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
When the Americans corrected her, "You mean 'tor-tee-yas?" she was puzzled, went and got the bag, pointed to the spelling and said, "No, it says here, 'tor-till-as'."

That's not how you Brits pronounce it, is it?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matt Black:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
A former colleague used to try to show off her knowledge of French by pronouncing it 'Pray' - not realising that you pronounce the t when the next word starts with a vowel.

Hearing 'I'm just off to Pray' was rather bizarre, particularly from this particular colleague.

---

A similar error seems to be made frequently with the champers Moet et chandon

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:
Um, pronounce Edinburgh for me, please.

---

Tortilla is a Spanish word. What is your point?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:
Um, pronounce Edinburgh for me, please.

---

Tortilla is a Spanish word. What is your point?

---

I guess my point is that Edinburgh is just as foreign a word to an American as tortilla, and yet Americans seem to quite happily mis-pronounce Edinburgh and many other 'burghs' without much concern! Plus the said Americans were guests in someone else's home, eating food that someone else had bought them. And furthermore... Well, no this is heaven so I shan't continue,,,
 

---

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Lad Himself:
I also know an English teacher who agrees with the rest of the cosmos that the word "amn't" is unacceptable, but is no more able to provide a decent explanation for why that should be so than the rest of the cosmos. Perhaps someone here could explain it.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matt Black:
A similar error seems to be made frequently with the champers Moet et chandon

Matt

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:
It used to be considered perfectly acceptable. Go back just a 150 years and everything is fine. There isn't actually anything wrong with it. But because it doesn't get used very often it sounds weird, so people think it is wrong.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
I have a question-what's up with the British pronunciation of idea, or rather the preponderance of Brits (and Australians) who say 'idee-er'?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:
But consider the American pronunciation of Spanish words such as "Los Angeles." My personal favorite is a street name in my home town: Higuera, which the locals, even those whose first language is Spanish, pronounce "hi-GAR-a" with the "gar" sounding like the first syllable in "Gary."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
I was actually adding an R. I hear it all the time from the english folks I know and it always throws me off.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
Then there are all the (probably apocryphal) audio-typist stories. Like 'triennial balance sheet' which ended up as 'try any old balance sheet'. Or 'Sir Michael Spears' for 'cervical smears'.

---

There's also the probably apocryphal story of the opera reviewer who dictated her copy down the phone. Next day a review appeared of 'Doris Goodenough' (she'd been to see 'Boris Godunov').

But I have an absolutely real one. My Dad, a chest doctor and a refugee from Austria, dictated to his secretary, 'This patient is a mouth breather'. The secretary typed 'This patient is a mouse breeder'!

Another delightful spin off of my parents' English was the time when my Mum, not long in England, remarked that the weather was so cold that she had seen some workmen 'warming their hands at a brassiere'.

[ 20. December 2004, 20:08: Message edited by: Esmeralda ]
 

---

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sir Kevin:

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:
But consider the American pronunciation of Spanish words such as "Los Angeles." My personal favorite is a street name in my home town: Higuera, which the locals, even those whose first language is Spanish, pronounce "hi-GAR-a" with the "gar" sounding like the first syllable in "Gary."

---

I used to live on 'EX-imeno' (Ximeno) in that very city in the late '70s.

---

quote:

---

LA is of course pronounced 'Loss-Anjelus'.

---

Or more commonly, el-lay.
 

---

Posted by melliethepooh (# 8762) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
I was actually adding an R. I hear it all the time from the english folks I know and it always throws me off.

---

Ah. To me, Americans sound as if they have Rs where we don't!

In my version of English "idea" rhymes with "beer" - and neither of them have an "R".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by m.t_tomb:

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:

A friend of mine was staying with people in London for a while, and her hostess offered them some "tor-till-as" - pronouncing the "l"s. When the Americans corrected her, "You mean 'tor-tee-yas?" she was puzzled, went and got the bag, pointed to the spelling and said, "No, it says here, 'tor-till-as'."

---

Um, pronounce Edinburgh for me, please. Now, I must admit that a thrill of irritation went through me as I read this post. The very idea of an American correcting an English[wo]man's pronunciation fills me with a horrid combination of revulsion and irritation.

---

Normally, I'd agree with you, but "tortilla" isn't an English word. Although since England is on the border of Mexico and the US is all the way across a continent and an ocean, I'm sure the English person rather than the American would be correct on how to pronounce a Mexican food's name.

And probably my friend was just surprised at the strange pronunciation. I suppose there's no harm in letting the English anglicize non-English words.

[ 20. December 2004, 20:41: Message edited by: churchgeek ]
 

---

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
There is a woman in our community named Azalea, pronounced Aza LEE. (initial "a" as in "cat")
 

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Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
On names, there's a name in my family, Xenia, which everyone has always pronounced "zenny." (Rhymes with "Kenny") I have no idea why - the spelling isn't changed (as if a nickname). When I see it elsewhere, though, I'm not sure how it should be pronounced. "ZEEN-ya" would be my guess...

Re: "idee-er" etc. - "R-insertion" and "R-deletion" are very regional. In the US, I think both tend to occur on the East Coast, as in Boston or the Bronx. We don't do it here in the Midwest, but in Michigan, we have our own peculiarities - the most obvious is in words like "like" and "fire" - monosyllabic words with an "i" followed by either an "r" or an unvoiced consonant - we say the "i" as the dipthong "uh-ee" where "uh" is the schwa and "ee" is as in "see." (This would be easier with IPA characters, I know...) I think some parts of Canada around us do that too.
 

---

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
Re: "idee-er" etc. - "R-insertion" and "R-deletion" are very regional. In the US, I think both tend to occur on the East Coast, as in Boston or the Bronx.

---

Also in Warshington State.
 

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Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
More on names: I used to work with a woman named Yvette, who pronounced her name Y-vette (as in saying the letter "Y" for the first syllable), instead of Eee-vette. I never did figure out how that happened.
 

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Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
I have a co-worked named Yvonne, and people do that to her name all the time. It would drive me nuts if I were her.
 

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Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :
 
Before I realised the correct pronunciation of 'Yvonne' I thought there was another name... 'Evon'... not like this name which I pronounced: 'Yee-von' or 'Yuh-von'

Now why would ya put a 'Y' at the beginning of a word for the 'Ee' sound when there are so many other options?!
 

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Posted by Gracie (# 3870) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Coot:


Now why would ya put a 'Y' at the beginning of a word for the 'Ee' sound when there are so many other options?!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
Then there was 'desecrated coconut' (for dessicated)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by KenWritez:
Of course, that brings up the bizarre and illogical UK practice of the shoving in of unnecessary extra letters into words...when they're in wombs, they're a "foetus,"...

Sheesh! Somebody'd think we spoke a common language or something!

---

Tangent
I have to confess that it really annoys me reading American textbooks with the proper ( ) spellings dropped. Is it THAT much effort to put in the extra letters to be clear on pronunciation and meaning? eg. "foetal" is clearly pronounced "fee-tal", but how are you supposed to know that "fetal" doesn't rhyme with "petal" if you are unfamiliar with the word? Also, doesn't the change from "paediatric" to "pediatric" suggest that the former is pertaining to children whilst the latter is pertaining to feet? And then there are the changes that don't even eliminate letters eg "eukaryote" to "eucaryote". Why?!

Tangent over

Sorry, hope that wasn't too rant-y for Heaven
 

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Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 
Further illustration of adding sounds (not just an -r) as a regional phenomenon:

Around Bristol, they add an "l" sound to words that end in a neutral vowel - usually -a. So you hear "That's a good ideal!" and "He's had an operation on his hernial." Girls' names are not exempt - "Sandral!" And the city motto is "Virtute et industrial". They've even done it to the name of the city - originally Anglo-Saxon Brycgstow.
 

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Posted by melliethepooh (# 8762) on :
 
foetal looks like it should be pronounced foi-tal. Mayhap 'somebody' should edit American texts before they go across the pond.
 

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Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
Yes, there's the joke about the three girls from Bristol called Normal, Eval and Idal.

While we're talking UK/US differences, is it true (as I read today) that the word 'twice' isn't used in the US? I know that 'fortnight' isn't used.
 

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Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :
 
Just thought of another ... "different to" or (even worse) "different THAN"

It's different FROM, people.
 

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Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
While we're talking UK/US differences, is it true (as I read today) that the word 'twice' isn't used in the US?

---

quote:

---

Please refrain yourself from touching the tank!!

---

But nothing annoys me like people who "Could care less".
 

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Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
Obviously my information source (an article by Barry Humphries) was wrong. He must have blanked out 'you're once, twice, three times a lady'!
 

---

Posted by Gracie (# 3870) on :
 
To come back to the whether or not the 'r' is pronounced thing. In the distant past when I had to teach phonetics, I discovered the difference between a letter and a phoneme. It then transpired that the letter 'r' in many words does not represent a phoneme, but alters the phoneme for the letter it follows.

So if you put an 'r' in cat pronounced with a short 'a' it becomes cart pronounced with a long a [ a:] but no 'r'.

cod becomes cord pronounced in the same way as the 'augh' in taught or 'ough' in bought.

etc.
 

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Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
I think you are on to something there.

Maybe this business of hearing "R" when it isn't there is a sort of overcompensating shift in decoding other people's speech.

For example, people from the south of England notoriously use a long "a" in many words where all other English speakers have a short "a".

So if I'm in the north of England I sort of "shift" my hearing. If somone uses the short "a" in "bath", "dance", I soon get used to compensating and I hear it as the word I'm used to.

Us southerners really don't have an R in words like "beer" or "fear" or "cheer". There is no consonant there, no interruption in the flow of breth through the mouth, no flick of the tongue against hte troof of the mouth just behind the teeth (which is what an R sound is of course). Those words as spoken and in vowel sounds - a glide from the long "ee" to a schawa.

It might be that Americans (or even Scots) listening to us get used to that and hear that sound as just our way of saying "R". So when we make exactly the same sound at the end of "idea" they mentally assume that an R ws in there.

For at least some Scots (& from this conversation I assume for at least some Americans) "deer" and "idea" do not rhyme. For them there is a consonant at the end of "deer". For us southerners, there isn't.
 

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Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
There's a town next to Ann Arbor called Ypsilanti (where Iggy Pop is from ). The "Y" should be pronounced "i" as in "hip," but people are always saying "yip-silanti."

The thing about place names, I think, is that they should be pronounced as the locals do, no matter how "wrong" it may be. There's another town near Ann Arbor called Saline. The "a" is a schwa, and the second syllable is accented. My dad always pronounces it like the solution he uses to clean his contact lens. Turns out the town really was named for its salt mines, though.

And on people's names, I had a friend whose sister was named Siobhan, but she eventually had to change the spelling to "Shevon," because no one ever said it right! I would never have caved like that if I were her.
 

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Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 
"Siobhan" is Irish. Irish spelling is a law unto itself - e.g. names like Niamh (pron. Neev), Padraig (pron. Porrig), Grainne (pron. Grawnia). There's material there for a whole new thread, but I suspect it would be the Irish who would regard us Brits and Americans as linguistically challenged.

Any Erse-speakers care to comment?
 

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Posted by Carys (# 78) on :
 
Ken's post on r makes a lot of sense.

We haven't mentioned the intrusive r yet though. Despite the fact that we often don't pronounce an r at the end of the word, it is often audible if the following word begins with a vowel. However, on occasion this occurs when the word actually ends in a vowel and not in an r at all.

The most obvious example of this is:
Gloria in Excelsis
which often ends up being said (or sung) Gloria rin Excelsis

Though I just find pronouncing rs difficult. It is noticeable that native English people usually understand my version of my name, but that non-native English speakers (excluding of course Welsh first language people) struggle and think I've said Cavis or something.

Carys
 

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Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 
Ah, the intrusive r! Don't forget the mistress of all politicians desperate for re-election - Laura Norder.
 

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Posted by melliethepooh (# 8762) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
The thing about place names, I think, is that they should be pronounced as the locals do, no matter how "wrong" it may be.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:
It might be that Americans (or even Scots) listening to us get used to that and hear that sound as just our way of saying "R". So when we make exactly the same sound at the end of "idea" they mentally assume that an R ws in there.

For at least some Scots (& from this conversation I assume for at least some Americans) "deer" and "idea" do not rhyme. For them there is a consonant at the end of "deer". For us southerners, there isn't.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by melliethepooh:
Absolutely-that's how you tell the natives from the outsiders, eh? I've had more arguments with people trying to correct the way I say "Coloradan" (as opposed to Coloradoan). It's my state, I will say it as I please.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:


Us southerners really don't have an R in words like "beer" or "fear" or "cheer". There is no consonant there, no interruption in the flow of breth through the mouth, no flick of the tongue against hte troof of the mouth just behind the teeth (which is what an R sound is of course). Those words as spoken and in vowel sounds - a glide from the long "ee" to a schawa.

---

That's exactly it. The phonetic transcription for "beer", "fear", "cheer" etc. has no 'r'. So maybe you're right in your supposition that people who put one there in their own pronunciation, imagine that other people are pronouncing one when they aren't - I like your comparison with the pronunciation of "bath" (though I'm form the north ). I wonder if American dictionaries have phonetic transcriptions included? And whether it's possible to write in phonetic transcription in UBB code?
 

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Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hazey Jane:
I have to confess that it really annoys me reading American textbooks with the proper ( ) spellings dropped. Is it THAT much effort to put in the extra letters to be clear on pronunciation and meaning?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:
I wonder if American dictionaries have phonetic transcriptions included?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
Yes, there's the joke about the three girls from Bristol called Normal, Eval and Idal.

While we're talking UK/US differences, is it true (as I read today) that the word 'twice' isn't used in the US? I know that 'fortnight' isn't used.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:
I wonder if American dictionaries have phonetic transcriptions included?

---

Yes. See dictionary.com. The pronunciation of "beer" is given as "bîr" there.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Campbellite:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:
It might be that Americans (or even Scots) listening to us get used to that and hear that sound as just our way of saying "R". So when we make exactly the same sound at the end of "idea" they mentally assume that an R ws in there.

For at least some Scots (& from this conversation I assume for at least some Americans) "deer" and "idea" do not rhyme. For them there is a consonant at the end of "deer". For us southerners, there isn't.

---

Ken,
I don't think this should be surprizing, since such a large number of the early American settlers were of Scottish decent.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:
That's exactly it. The phonetic transcription for "beer", "fear", "cheer" etc. has no 'r'.

---

That's only becuase it's the phonetic representation of a southern English person saying it.

We (Me Scottish, wife English ) have often had pronunciation discussions. She uses a Dictionary as back up, which it seems had an southern english person do all the phonetics, so I can never win. bath pronounced 'barth', etc

If it is supposed to be pronounced 'beea', why isn't it written that way ?
And how come it bears a striking resemblance to the German word 'Bier' which is definitely pronounced with an "R"?

The Germans have the right idea - you pronounce every letter in a word,(subject to certain rules) and they have laws about spelling....
 

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Posted by Gracie (# 3870) on :
 
The dictionaries I use stipulate that the phonetic transcript given is that of Received Pronunciation. In many cases it isn't mine either...
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by chukovsky:
Although it's also been said that the common US English accent, with /r/ pronounced, is derived from the rural South of England accent (now mainly to be heard in the West Country).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:
I wonder if American dictionaries have phonetic transcriptions included?

---

Yes. See dictionary.com. The pronunciation of "beer" is given as "bîr" there.

---

Thank you, Ruth. Except all that I ger when I click on the link is a completely white page. Either I have a problem or their site is down. I'll try again later.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Papa Smurf:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:
That's exactly it. The phonetic transcription for "beer", "fear", "cheer" etc. has no 'r'.

---

That's only becuase it's the phonetic representation of a southern English person saying it.

We (Me Scottish, wife English ) have often had pronunciation discussions. She uses a Dictionary as back up, which it seems had an southern english person do all the phonetics, so I can never win. bath pronounced 'barth', etc

---

quote:

---

If it is supposed to be pronounced 'beea', why isn't it written that way ?

---

You need to read Mark Twain's piece on spelling reform!

But it's obviously to identify the non-locals.

Charlotte
 

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Posted by Pindy (# 8848) on :
 
Oh dear... I only have myself to laugh at for being linguistically handicapped...

My mum says I talk like a foreigner sometimes...

One thing I can never say right it car park... always comes out as par cark.

Actually now I'm thinking about it one of my friends isn't actually very good at talking either... we developed a book with all the weird things she came out with (occupied much of our time at school)
One which sticks in my mind is her saying "they got as much in a little as possible"
I'm affraid I can't translate as we never did find out what the hell she was talking about

Pindy
 

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Posted by Hazey Jane (# 8754) on :
 
Not so much a case of the wrong words, but has anyone else come across what I can only describe as 'unnecessary euphemisms'? I was on a London Underground platform the other day and there was an announcement over the speaker:

"Please stand behind the yellow line. Your next Mobile Service will be arriving in one minute."

Mobile Service?! What on earth is offensive about the word "train"?
 

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Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
Welcome, Hazy Jane!

I know what you mean - I think this one started about 10 years ago, but I really hate when retailers call their customers "guests." Especially the low-price supermarket types. I'm sorry, I don't make my guests wait in line and pay for stuff on their way out the door.


Here's another I'd forgotten until I was listening to some Christmas music last night (for the first time this year)... On the first Christmas CD by the Projekt label (darkwave) - "Excelsis" - there's a track of Eva O singing "O Holy Night." I'm not making this up: she sings

quote:

---

Long lay the world in sin and error pinning

---

quote:

---

I know what you mean - I think this one started about 10 years ago, but I really hate when retailers call their customers "guests." Especially the low-price supermarket types. I'm sorry, I don't make my guests wait in line and pay for stuff on their way out the door.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Astro:
The equivalent trend in the UK was to refer to everyone as customers - thus hospitals did not have patients but customers, trains and airlines did not have passengers but customers etc. This seem to co-incide with a deteriation in standards of service so it seems to me that a hospital treats its customers worse than it does its patients, and transport companies treat their customers worse than thay treated their passengers.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
Here's another I'd forgotten until I was listening to some Christmas music last night (for the first time this year)... On the first Christmas CD by the Projekt label (darkwave) - "Excelsis" - there's a track of Eva O singing "O Holy Night." I'm not making this up: she sings

quote:

---

Long lay the world in sin and error pinning

---

The thing is, that had to pass everyone who heard the song rehearsed; the band; the recording engineers; the producer (presumably); the CD's compiler, and who knows who else, and nobody said, "Er, I think it's pining..."

---

I always remember our organisation's Christmas carol service a couple of years ago, when a woman got up to read the lesson about the shepherds going to the manger. She pronounced "manger" to rhyme with "anger".

Last week we had this year's service and it was this lady's turn again, this time the reading about the three wise men. This time, "magi" rhymed with "Magee" (like the actor Patrick Magee).

But what is really baffling is that this lady is the representative of our organisation's Christian Fellowship. I can't believe that she had never heard either of these words read out loud before!


 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A very useful book if you are reading in church - to avoid enormous howlers - is 'A guide to pronouncing biblical names' by T.S.K. Scott-Craig. Purchasing such a book would have saved the dignity of the previous poster's example, the dignity of my mother who, as a child, stood up to read the 'beauty tudes' and my son from threatening to read 'the serpent big willied me' at the 9 lessons and carols. (Well, the final example was him horsing around while practising it, but I was on the edge of my seat during the service, terrified that he would commit a Freudian slip due to nerves )
 

---

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chorister
A very useful book if you are reading in church - to avoid enormous howlers - is 'A guide to pronouncing biblical names' by T.S.K. Scott-Craig.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chorister:
A very useful book if you are reading in church - to avoid enormous howlers - is 'A guide to pronouncing biblical names' by T.S.K. Scott-Craig. ...

---

Or a KJV.
 

---

Posted by Custard. (# 5402) on :
 
A slogan outside a sports clothing shop.

quote:

---

We got it. They don't.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sparrow:
But what is really baffling is that this lady is the representative of our organisation's Christian Fellowship. I can't believe that she had never heard either of these words read out loud before!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chorister:
A very useful book if you are reading in church - to avoid enormous howlers - is 'A guide to pronouncing biblical names' by T.S.K. Scott-Craig. Purchasing such a book would have saved the dignity of the previous poster's example, the dignity of my mother who, as a child, stood up to read the 'beauty tudes' and my son from threatening to read 'the serpent big willied me' at the 9 lessons and carols. (Well, the final example was him horsing around while practising it, but I was on the edge of my seat during the service, terrified that he would commit a Freudian slip due to nerves )

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zeke:
Hence, we say sec-ruh-tehr-ree, instead of sec-ruh-tree for "secretary."

---

quote:

---

Sean McLaughlin.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zeke:
There is a man who was a local weather forecaster here and recently was promoted to a major cable news network so that we are regularly irritated by the way he says his name, which is Sean McLaughlin. He pronounces it "Seen."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zeke:
Hence, we say sec-ruh-tehr-ree, instead of sec-ruh-tree for "secretary."

---

SEKtri

quote:

---

Sean McLaughlin.

---

But how does he say his surname?

I'd go for m@kh-LOKH-l@n

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zeke:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zeke:
Sean McLaughlin.

---

But how does he say his surname?

I'd go for m@kh-LOKH-l@n

---

Mick LOFF-lin. That's usually how you hear it said over here.

---

Jones.

Well, there aren't any f's in it either.
 

---

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matt Black:
Another thing that annoys me is the proliferation of 'specialists'; this seems to be a recent trend here. It's not longer sufficient to be a mere plumber, builder, or glazer; one has to be a 'plumbing specialist', 'building and construction specialist' and 'window installation and glazing specialist'.

Matt, Legal Specialist

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sir Kevin:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Balaam:
How would you pronounce "Wednesday"?

---

Voe-tawn's dog (Wodansdag) when I'm Speaking Swedish or attempting German...

---

Hey, when did Sweden change it from Onsdag?????
 

---

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:
I used to think Americans called their mothers "Mom".

Then I met some and found that they call them "Mum" almost exactly as we do.

Its just that they spell it "Mom".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sinisterial:
At work when I put people on hold I say "Just one moment" and as soon as I say it I tell myself, you can't count moments - it should be 'just a moment.

Can anyone tell me if it is okay to say 'just one moment'?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:
I used to think Americans called their mothers "Mom".

Then I met some and found that they call them "Mum" almost exactly as we do.

Its just that they spell it "Mom".

---

Actually, everyone I know really does say "Mom" with a short o, not a short u. Must be a regional thing.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zeke:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

quote:

---

Sean McLaughlin.

---

But how does he say his surname?

I'd go for m@kh-LOKH-l@n

---

Mick LOFF-lin. That's usually how you hear it said over here.

---

Hey, it's his name. If he wants to pronounce it "Smith", it's Smith.

As one who gets his name mispronounced (not drastically, just enough to peeve slightly) you just have to accept that folk don't get it right first time, every time. Mrs Sioni's maiden name is Irish and is rarely pronounced or spelt correctly.
 

---

Posted by Astro (# 84) on :
 
On names at one time Leslie was a boy's name and Lesley a girls's name but these days lots of girls spell their name Leslie which i find confusing.
 

---

Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
I once encountered a child called Keighley*, which she pronounced 'Kay-lee'.


*Keighley is a town in West (I think) Yorkshire, and is pronounced 'Keeff-lee'.
 

---

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Linguo:
I once encountered a child called Keighley, which she pronounced 'Kay-lee'.

---

That is because that is the way to pronounce it.

quote:

---

Keighley is a town in West (I think) Yorkshire, and is pronounced 'Keeff-lee'.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:

quote:

---

Keighley is a town in West (I think) Yorkshire, and is pronounced 'Keeff-lee'.

---

Gremlin grew up close to Keighley, and says that it is only pronounced 'Keeff-lee' by people who say "free" instead of "three"

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:

quote:

---

Keighley is a town in West (I think) Yorkshire, and is pronounced 'Keeff-lee'.

---

Gremlin grew up close to Keighley, and says that it is only pronounced 'Keeff-lee' by people who say "free" instead of "three"

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracie:

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:

quote:

---

Keighley is a town in West (I think) Yorkshire, and is pronounced 'Keeff-lee'.

---

Gremlin grew up close to Keighley, and says that it is only pronounced 'Keeff-lee' by people who say "free" instead of "three"

---

I also grew up close to Keighley. Most people seemed to pronounce the 'gh' not as a 'th' but as a kind of 'kl' sound which is otherwise foreign to the English language (I can't find the exact phonectic transcription).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

I thing the "-kl" is probably close to the Welsh "-ll" sound, which isn't far off "-th" either. Maybe it is to do with geography: the hills round Keighley look almost Welsh.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chorister:
A very useful book if you are reading in church - to avoid enormous howlers - is 'A guide to pronouncing biblical names' by T.S.K. Scott-Craig. Purchasing such a book would have saved the dignity of the previous poster's example, the dignity of my mother who, as a child, stood up to read the 'beauty tudes' and my son from threatening to read 'the serpent big willied me' at the 9 lessons and carols. (Well, the final example was him horsing around while practising it, but I was on the edge of my seat during the service, terrified that he would commit a Freudian slip due to nerves )

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Red Star Bethlehem:
Go and ask if you want to know.
Why do we not all just start to write in civilised and simple tongues like German or better still, Italian, where all letters have one and only one pronounciation and confusion is virtually unknown.

---

German? Simple? With three genders of definite article, and half a dozen cases? Italian, with dozens of incomprehensible idioms? No, give me English, the world language, any day. If it was good enough for Shakespeare and Tyndale...

Yes, pronunciation is a bit erratic. But have you ever tried to pronounce Irish Gaelic?
 

---

Posted by In Theory (# 2964) on :
 
Talking of Greek, what's the difference between -nomy and -logy? Should I be offended when people say, "What is it you study - astrology?"

[P.S. Also always wondered, is it a bare midriff or midrift?]

[ 28. December 2004, 17:22: Message edited by: In Theory ]
 

---

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
Pedant ON:

Midriff. In spite of my son's school's printed dress code.

nomos = law, therefore astro + nomos = "laws of the stars" etymologically speaking, which often has little to do with the current meaning. But in this case it's not too bad. An astronomer studies the laws of nature as they pertain to the stars.

-ology comes from logos, which = meaning, knowledge, science, word, etc. So astrology = "study of the stars." There is nothing to indicate whether the study is bogus or not (or forbidden, for that matter).

Don't get offended when someone screws them up. Sigh wearily like the rest of us do.

PEDANT OFF

[Edited because I screwed up.]

[ 28. December 2004, 18:11: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
 

---

Posted by Lurker McLurker™ (# 1384) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by In Theory:
Talking of Greek, what's the difference between -nomy and -logy? Should I be offended when people say, "What is it you study - astrology?"

[P.S. Also always wondered, is it a bare midriff or midrift?]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by In Theory:
[P.S. Also always wondered, is it a bare midriff or midrift?]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sparrow:
Oh, that reminds me - how do you pronounce "forehead"? Our family have always said "fore-head", except for a rather snobbish aunt who says "forrid".

---

quote:

---

quote:Originally posted by dorothea:
When encountering this degree of pedantry, it heartens me to recall that Shakespeare had problems spelling his name.

As I understand it, Shakespeare didn't have the idea that there was a "right" way to spell his name.

The idea of standardized spelling of names appears to have come later.

Moo

---

Excellent point - in heavenly fashion, I concede.
 

---

Posted by Custard. (# 5402) on :
 
on the same lines, spelling "cough" as "coff" gets on my nerves as well as being wrong.

[ 29. December 2004, 15:33: Message edited by: Custard. ]
 

---

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
An article in yesterday's Los Angeles Times on whether or not the common communion cup spreads disease was headlined "Does Communion Cup Runneth Over With Germs?"
 

---

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
I always am vaguely puzzled with myself when I hear a sentence that falls strongly into the 'linguistically handicapped' category, and concurrently realise that I understood exactly what the person meant (despite the absurdity of what was actually said.)

A few (true) examples:

I was buying some cream for my face, and the lady behind the counter (hearing that, in middle age, I have oily skin) informed me that "you're lucky - your skin will last longer."

Actual conversation:
Mary: "Andy, is Tony G. dead?"
Andy: "No."
Mary" "You know why I'm asking - I saw him last week."

Worst, perhaps (from a man who was considering buying a car): "I might almost buy a Ford."
 

---

Posted by sundog (# 8916) on :
 
I love this thread, I've been laughing so much I have tears, and as a former ESL teacher I thought I'd become immune to such things. Of course, I'm probably good fodder for those who make note of language slip ups.

Rowen's ass/arse story reminds me of a time that not knowing the hemispherical diiferences in the meaning of fanny.

There are websites that archive mistakes like this, but this thread is even better.

Thanks all for a great laugh!
 

---

Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
Yes, I know what you mean, Newman's Own. My mother once came out with a classic, and my husband is still amazed that I knew what she meant. After travelling home from my grandfather's house, she commented:

"Well, it's been a good journey - all the traffic has been either with us, or going the other way."
 

---

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Once, I had a very upper class young lady from Spain working in the office on an internship programme. She sat near Delia, whose language tended towards the colourful.

One day, the Spanish lady asked me, with the dignity befitting a queen, "Who should be contacted? My telephone be all fucked up."
 

---

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
There were apparently not enough candles at the late service Christmas Eve at the church where I work. The attendance sheet has been labelled:

quote:

---

Friday, December 24, 2004
10:30 PM
(Candle-lite Service)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Beethoven:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sir Kevin:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Balaam:
How would you pronounce "Wednesday"?

---

Voe-tawn's dog (Wodansdag) when I'm Speaking Swedish or attempting German...

---

Hey, when did Sweden change it from Onsdag?????

---

We haven't changed. Or if we have, noone has told me.

English is not my first language and I'm learning loads from this thread. It seems that I have unknowingly been mixing British and American words and spelling. I don't even want to think about pronounciation...
 

---

Posted by Hazey Jane (# 8754) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
Yes, I know what you mean, Newman's Own. My mother once came out with a classic, and my husband is still amazed that I knew what she meant. After travelling home from my grandfather's house, she commented:

"Well, it's been a good journey - all the traffic has been either with us, or going the other way."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Light:
English is not my first language and I'm learning loads from this thread. It seems that I have unknowingly been mixing British and American words and spelling. I don't even want to think about pronunciation...

---

Your use of English is fantastic. It is a huge deal better than a lot of written English that I have seen, supposedly written by native speakers.

I don't think that anyone on the Ship would notice if you mixed American and British words or spelling. We are so used to seeing both that I doubt it would even register.

Don't worry about pronunciation, you are probably far more intelligible than an average person from London.

[ 04. January 2005, 13:13: Message edited by: babybear ]
 

---

Posted by Exiled Youth (# 8744) on :
 
going back to dictation howlers briefly...one that i heard somewhere was a professor dictating the title of a module to the uni secretary, and turning up to find the lecture hall crammed with girls. The lecture on "discovering micro-organisms and fungis" had, predictably enough, been advertised as "discovering micro-orgasms and fun guys".

The one that REALLY gets my goat is aluminum. There are TWO "I"s in that word. Grr. Just another one to add to the list of pond-hopping annoyances.
 

---

Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Exiled Youth:


The one that REALLY gets my goat is aluminum. There are TWO "I"s in that word. Grr. Just another one to add to the list of pond-hopping annoyances.

---

But sadly in this case I think you'll find our american cousins have even changed the spelling to match their (mis)pronunciation! So I don't think we have much cause for complaint on that one.
 

---

Posted by zandolit (# 346) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Exiled Youth:

The one that REALLY gets my goat is aluminum. There are TWO "I"s in that word. Grr. Just another one to add to the list of pond-hopping annoyances.

---

Well, apparently the guy (Humphry Davy)who originally isolated aluminium named it alumium. Then for reasons unknown he changed the name to aluminum. Americans adopted the new term. But then the Brits decided they didn't like it because it mucked up the -ium pattern and just decided to change the name without checking with the guy who named it in the first place.
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
On the ship, for me, British spelling is the default. What right do we uppity former colonists think we have to change it? Of course in the classroom I give spelling tests and occasionally introduce new words. Now if I could only pronounce all the letters as my pupils' parents and grandparents did in Mexico, they'd all get 100%. Grrrr!

One thing I hear in spoken English alot is 'should of', should've mis-enunciated. I always try to speak without contractions in school as pupils aged 6-8 years are often English language learners; if they started in my school district at age 5, I do expect them to be able to spell and write in US English but due to their different pronunciation of the alphabet that is not always the case. I can however always tell an intelligent student who only has language problems by his skill in maths. (I am missing teaching right now as my school is on hiatus for another week).

A misconception I have had for years is popular phrases I had never seen wriiten, i.e. song lyrics such as You've got another think coming by Judas Priest. Can anyone come up with any others?

[I'm just now learning now how intelligent and well-educated bands like the Rolling Stones are. I always knew Sir Mick graduated from LSE and that Charlie was a graphic artist, but now know Keith and Ronnie went to art school (as did I although it was a department at a major university).]
 

---

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I can however always tell an intelligent student who only has language problems by his skill in maths.

---

Bad move!

There is far more to intelligence than being good at maths. Some people have a special aptitude at maths that is not present in the rest of their work. There are some who have dyscalculia and would appear to be utterly thick (but of course are not).
 

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Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
/tangent/
Admittedly, I'm only a supply teacher and father of one (who has dysgraphia), but if someone cannot tell the difference between 10+10 and 10x10 by age 10, they should be in 'special class', not in a regular classroom. I have to spend 25% of my time with these pupils at the expense of the other 22! Although our great-grandfather was a medical doctor and our father and grandfather were both mechanical engineers, my sister, brother and I did not inherit the family math gene; I cannot do calculus and chemistry but we all learned our times tables before we were 10!

/end tangent/
 

---

Posted by musician (# 4873) on :
 
Sir Kevin

quote:

---

/tangent/
Admittedly, I'm only a supply teacher and father of one (who has dysgraphia), but if someone cannot tell the difference between 10+10 and 10x10 by age 10, they should be in 'special class', not in a regular classroom. I have to spend 25% of my time with these pupils at the expense of the other 22! Although our great-grandfather was a medical doctor and our father and grandfather were both mechanical engineers, my sister, brother and I did not inherit the family math gene; I cannot do calculus and chemistry but we all learned our times tables before we were 10!

/end tangent/

---

that's a wind up. please tell me that's a wind up.
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
That it is! I spend more time on my principal career stage tech, but principals (head teachers), other teachers and pupils know me as a very caring and concerned teacher who believes that every pupil and every subject is important.
 

---

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
It is worrying me that I understood perfectly what the comments about the traffic meant.. Then again, I have often heard such gems as 'pull the door behind you.'

Those who work in the insurance field generally are not the strongest in humour. I once was proofreading a proposal from an acquaintance, in that field, who was involved with a programme of education related to liability. He did not understand my hilarity at his recommendation of a "Sexual Misconduct Workshop."

Do any of you find that there are certain words (in your native tongue, or another, though it is funnier when it is the former) that you simply cannot pronounce? I have no speech impediments, yet there are some words that come out wrong - for example, anything with a 'ger' ending, such as (of all things, since it was my profession) 'singer.'
 

---

Posted by Light (# 4693) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Light:
English is not my first language and I'm learning loads from this thread. It seems that I have unknowingly been mixing British and American words and spelling. I don't even want to think about pronunciation...

---

Your use of English is fantastic. It is a huge deal better than a lot of written English that I have seen, supposedly written by native speakers.

---

Thank you!
Being on the Ship has really helped me improve my written English.
 

---

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
Light,
If you had not said that English was not your native language, I would not have noticed.
Is that a triple negative???
 

---

Posted by Red Star Bethlehem (# 8897) on :
 

quote:

---

German? Simple? With three genders of definite article, and half a dozen cases? Italian, with dozens of incomprehensible idioms? No, give me English, the world language, any day. If it was good enough for Shakespeare and Tyndale...

Yes, pronunciation is a bit erratic. But have you ever tried to pronounce Irish Gaelic?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hazey Jane:
I guess it depends. If you want the nursery rhyme 'There was a little girl, who had a little curl...' to work then it's got to be 'forrid'. But I think the usual pronunciation is 'forehead'.

---

Hence (or otherwise) "Puddle" and "Middle" must rhyme, out of deference to the good doctor of Gloucester.

I have a wonderful letter from a piling contractor, in which the word "borehole" has been replaced throughout by the word "brothel". Injudicious use of a spell checker, I fear. So the letter asks me to provide a drawing that shows the location of the brothels around a particular site.

Y.
 

---

Posted by Tina (# 63) on :
 
(Explanatory note: Barking is a place in Essex.)

Headline seen yesterday: 'Barking armed robber jailed.'

Sadly, a local fried chicken emporium has changed hands and no longer has the signs in its window:

'Student Special Offer: 2 chicken pieces lag or wing with school uniform.'

and my personal favourite:

'Please no dog and bicycle'

[ 08. January 2005, 10:07: Message edited by: Tina ]
 

---

Posted by Yrmenlaf (# 8392) on :
 
Or (since we are getting into headlines)

"British Left Waffles on Falklands"

Y.
 

---

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 
An unfortunate waste of breakfast foods.
 

---

Posted by HopPik (# 8510) on :
 
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".
 

---

Posted by Pulsator Organorum Ineptus (# 2515) on :
 
That rhotic / non-rhotic map is quite misleading as far as the UK is concerned. It shows all of England to be non-rhotic. The northwest and southwest of the country are quite strongly rhotic, and most of the midlands are too - e.g. the residents of Derby call it Darby, not Dahby.

In fact, where I come from (East Lancashire) the letter R is always pronounced very strongly, as in parts of the USA. A story is told of a famous conductor rehearsing a local choral society in a sacred oratorio, and telling them, It's not "Owwer Soles" .. it's "aaaaah soles" and reducing the orchestra to fits of helpless laughter.

Up here, we would never insert an R where there isn't one written (e.g. drawring a picture). That seems to be a London area phenomenon. Basically, the illiterate buggers never pronounce an R where one is written, and make up for it by sticking them in randomly where there isn't one.

Of course, sticking an R on the end of the word "draw" means that people then get mixed up between "draw" and "drawer" because they pronounce them the same. I've even seen the word "draw" used on the BBC web site when "drawer" was intended.

Somebody mentioned that around Bristol way they tend to stick L's on the ends of words. Is it true that Bristol was originally Bristow, and got its L by this process?

I have in my possession a book on (Scots) Gaelic. The pronunciations are done "in English" - but it's southern English! Thus where the author wishes to indicate an "uh" sound, she uses "er" ... very confusing to people from round here. To get any idea what the Gaelic word sounds like, you have to read the pronunciation as if you were Jeeves.
 

---

Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on :
 
When I was working in an office in Greece, the office manager spoke excellent English apart from one or two little quirks, the best one being that she told me to "use the phone on your backside."
Quite logical, after I'd done the double take - left side, right side, back side.
 

---

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yrmenlaf:
I have a wonderful letter from a piling contractor, in which the word "borehole" has been replaced throughout by the word "brothel". Injudicious use of a spell checker, I fear. So the letter asks me to provide a drawing that shows the location of the brothels around a particular site.

---

great one.

I put this on a new thread, but it sank without trace, so here it is again:

On Jan 2 we had our annual joint service (that's a service with two churches, not a service with joints) with the Baptist church from whom we hire a hall. Worship was led by a man with a strong Caribbean accent (honest, I'm really not being racist here, he was a lovely man, but his accent was strong. It could have been Geordie... )

At the beginning of the service I clearly heard him give thanks for being here 'with two toes on fire'. I thought this was odd even in a charismatic congregation. It wasn't till half way through the service that a light bulb came on above my head and I realized that he'd said he was thankful for being here 'in 2005'!

[edited to correct my time travel - I typed 2205 ]

[ 09. January 2005, 10:53: Message edited by: Esmeralda ]
 

---

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by HopPik:
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Newman's Own:
Do any of you find that there are certain words (in your native tongue, or another, though it is funnier when it is the former) that you simply cannot pronounce? I have no speech impediments, yet there are some words that come out wrong - for example, anything with a 'ger' ending, such as (of all things, since it was my profession) 'singer.'

---

quote:

---

I can't pronounce my own surname...

---

Good job I can, though I have trouble with Amorya-transpose the r and the y

Despite speaking SE/Estuary English I have trouble with some words and a love of hitting my CAPS LOCK key when typing-thank God for the green warning message on my screen
 

---

Posted by Amorya (# 2652) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pendragon:

quote:

---

I can't pronounce my own surname...

---

Good job I can, though I have trouble with Amorya-transpose the r and the y

---

Yeah - Sophs did that too. Seems to be a common one.

Amoyra
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Light:
Sir Kevin, I study mostly computer science (datorteknik). I am doing my last exams this week and the next so please wish me luck!
I'm sure you would have been welcome to study here too, there is an architectural course. But the weather in California must be much more pleasant!

(Will stop derailing thread now.)

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quote:

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Originally posted by Exiled Youth:
The lecture on "discovering micro-organisms and fungis" had, predictably enough, been advertised as "discovering micro-orgasms and fun guys".

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quote:

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Originally posted by HopPik:
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

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When I see a "wet paint" sign, I want to write "this is not an instruction" underneath.
 

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Posted by Leetle Masha (# 8209) on :
 
"Spelling pronunciation" might be helpful in understanding people who speak with the "Philadelphia accent", in which the words our, hour and are are all pronounced the same way: "awr". Words with diphthongs get an extra "y" before the diphthong, as "Hyawse" (house). The newspaper, the Philadelphia Inquirer, is pronounced "Fluffier Inkwire".
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Leetle Masha:
"Spelling pronunciation" might be helpful in understanding people who speak with the "Philadelphia accent", in which the words our, hour and are are all pronounced the same way: "awr". Words with diphthongs get an extra "y" before the diphthong, as "Hyawse" (house). The newspaper, the Philadelphia Inquirer, is pronounced "Fluffier Inkwire".

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quote:

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Originally posted by HopPik:
For years I thought there was a place in South London called Fort Neef.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
'Fore-head', like "Waist-coat", is a spelling pronunciation.

Before widespread literacy, these words were always pronounced "forrid" and "weskit".

---

I knew what a waistcoat was, but I'd always wondered what a "weskit" was!
 

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Posted by HopPik (# 8510) on :
 

 

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Posted by Yrmenlaf (# 8392) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by HopPik:
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

quote:

---

Originally posted by HopPik:
For years I thought there was a place in South London called Fort Neef.

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There is! It's story is a little known, and often a strange one, most strange. Fort Neef, by the oasis of Fort Neef Pond, overlooked by the great Cow Idol was besieged by the Neef tribesmen.

A relief column of the Penge Foreign Legion marched over the hills of Sidi-en-Ham and yet arrived too late, to find the fort unfallen but abandoned save by dead men, guarding their posts as in life.

Where was the rest of the garrison?

Little did they knew that the survivors from the garrison of Ford Neef had fled over the Western Commons to the safety of the monastery of St. Reatham...

---

Particulary the bit about the 'Penge Foreign Legion'
 

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Posted by Amphibalus (# 5351) on :
 
Having been on shore leave for the last five weeks (Christmas, New Year, brother's 50th birthday, the Gwen/Augustus John exhibition at the Tate - all spent in computerless locations ), I come back to find a wonderfully amusing thread like this in full flow.

To add to the merriment, can I mention a howler I noticed in a recent film review? The film was described by the reviewer as 'action-pact' - presumably indicating a promise that there would be some.

And speaking of biblical mispronunciations, I remember a very elderly churchwarden, reading a lesson at one of the country parishes I served, urging the congregation 'not to be mizzled' (misled), and another (very pompous) parishioner once pronouncing the name of Jeremiah's secretary as 'Baroosh' (Baruch).
 

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Posted by Leetle Masha (# 8209) on :
 
Sarky inquired,

quote:

---

Is this [Philadelphia] where "egg" consists of three syllables? Or is that further See-yow-erth.

---

It would be further Seehowerth, in Charleston, South Carolina, where you can have aigs and beckon fuh brakefuss. And shet the d'oh on yo' way oat.
 

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Posted by Leetle Masha (# 8209) on :
 
Oops, I did it again! Truly unintentional...very, very tired and suffering from a severe squint, I attributed a remark of Sioni Sais to Sarkycow! Very sorry!

No more posting after 1 a.m.


 

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Posted by Red Star Bethlehem (# 8897) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by chukovsky:

quote:

---

Originally posted by PhilA:

---

I do this to my students; nasty, aren't I?

---

Do your students tell you that it should be "am I not"?
Or do they say "I are" in your part of the world?

Red Star, the nice nasty pedant
 

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Posted by Red Star Bethlehem (# 8897) on :
 
Can one poke fun at oneself here?
When I was young and innocent and an overseas student in the UK, I was invited to a professor's house for dinner. Professors don't do this in Germany and so I was suitably excited.
Towards the end of the meal his wife asked if I wanted more.
But I was very ...., eh, ehm, er ... I struggled and did not know the word for German "satt" (full). So, ever quickwitted, I decided to use a very fitting idiom which I had only first heard the day before and replied: "No thank you, I am fed up."
Well, they say the use of idioms is good style in English, right?

And you'll admit that 'full' is a somewhat clumsy and graphic word to describe you've had enough food, whereas my usage of 'fed up' at least had logic going for it.

I am glad to say that despite this wee mishap they invited me again.
 

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Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
And if I went to Germany and said 'Ich bin voll' in the same situation, it would mean 'I'm pregnant' wouldn't it?

(I also know not to say 'Ich bin heiss' when the weather is warm!)

I hope Hugal won't mind me mentioning his slip-up in the reading on Sunday. It was sprung on him at the last minute, which is some excuse.

"... and those whom He called, He also presidented" (rather than 'predestined').

I consoled him by saying that the Bible says we are kings and priests, so presumably we can be presidents too.
 

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Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 
Red Star's German-induced howler reminded me of the phrase from the famous Gerard Hoffnung (musician and humorist in the 1950s, he of the builder and the barrel of bricks monologue fame) hotel guide for tourists:
"You will be well fed up and pleasantly drunk in our restaurant."

There is something about German which leads to quaint errors in English. My German exchange partner in my school days creased us up on the first night he stayed with us. As we were about to retire, he asked: "At what time will you excite me in the morning?

I just hope my efforts to speak German over the years have brought equal merriment. I can remember a bunch of German christians having a snigger when, speaking of a recent church-crawl around their town, I attempted to say, "I tried the catholic church!" I suspect the word I chose ("probieren") suggested I had been attempting to ingest small portions of RC adherents, to see what they tasted like.

Hundewache
 

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Posted by Linguo (# 7220) on :
 
I was once walking down a road in a small German town with a friend when she announced loudly "Ich bin sehr, sehr heiss!"

[ETA: what she meant was 'I'm very very hot'; what she said was 'I'm very very horny']

[ 14. January 2005, 13:20: Message edited by: Linguo ]
 

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Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
I remember whilst doing missionary work with OM about 100 years ago when I actually still looked like my avatar, one of the Norwegian members of our OM team read from Romans, instead of "God has revealed Himself", "God has relieved Himself".

Not as bad as my French howler: whilst in Paris, I got the gender of its river confused when asking directions to it, which meant I asked a Parisienne passer-by where her knockers were. Or so I was informed by my French companion...

Matt
 

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Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :
 
Here is another selection from the "it worries me that I know what he meant" category.

For this to make sense, I'll mention that my friend John (who proves that even those who went to Oxford can be linguistically handicapped) is the younger of two sons, who were born one year apart. His mother had been thought sterile, and was married for ten years before her first son arrived.

John often said, "They didn't think my mother could have children - and, after she had Ray, they were sure."
 

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Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
There was a professor at Yale who had come from Austria about twenty-five years before; he never deigned to master the English language.

There was a student who had immigrated to America with his parents when he was a baby. The professor meant to ask whether his parents had come to America before his birth. In fact he asked, "Have you already been born in America?", which is a literal translation of, "Sind Sie schon in Amerika gerboren?"

Moo

[Edited because I can.]

[ 16. January 2005, 00:17: Message edited by: KenWritez ]
 

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Posted by Pendragon (# 8759) on :
 
And anyone who meets me can expect my name pronunciation to be erratic-I tend to do things the way they seem, not the way they are, until I've been corrected
 

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Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
I tried to say "You're welcome" in Vietnamese, but used the wrong voice pitch. It came out "I don't have lice."

They were very glad to hear that.
 

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Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Red Star Bethlehem:

quote:

---

Originally posted by chukovsky:

quote:

---

Originally posted by PhilA:

---

I do this to my students; nasty, aren't I?

---

Do your students tell you that it should be "am I not"?
Or do they say "I are" in your part of the world?

---

quote:

---

"Aren't I" is acceptable in this context, at least in the USA.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jajehu:
An attempted consultation with the nice young man on duty quickly escalated into "pronounced" warfare, thus:
Me: I'm looking for a nice claret(KLAH -rett)."
Him: Oh, right this way. Here's where we stock the claret (klah-RAY)."
And so on. Neither of us gave an inch, but got increasingly insistent as we went on. By the end of the transaction we were pronouncing daggers at each other.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
If I read or hear one more person using "specie" as the singular of "species", or "phenomena" or "bacteria" as singulars, I shall probably blow a vessel.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Newman's Own:
I don't know if this still is popular, but, in the days when I worked for the Roman Catholics, it was common to see reports such as "bishops and superiors to dialogue." Or to hear 'we dialogued.'

---

quote:

---

Do your students tell you that it should be "am I not"?
Or do they say "I are" in your part of the world?

---

quote:

---

"Aren't I" is acceptable in this context, at least in the USA. Your pedantry is ill-placed.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gill H:
And if I went to Germany and said 'Ich bin voll' in the same situation, it would mean 'I'm pregnant' wouldn't it?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Red Star Bethlehem:
I have been officially told on my job to speak of ‘Forums’, not ‘Fora’ (we have them as official networks). It sounds pedantic I was told. But if one knows Latin well, it feels just like being forced to say "And he goed and bringed me some biscuits."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Red Star Bethlehem:
I thought Claret is a French word and the young man was right?!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Campbellite:
I drive a Ford Focus. If I make reference to two of them, they should be Foci, no?

---

Yes, of course! When they had just come out I was being driven to a meeting by my then boss when he said to me, deadpan: "I'm not sure what I think of these Foci." It took me a couple of minutes...

We used to spend a lot of time in Latin lessons making sentences with Volvo and Mercedes in them which made sense - but that probably belongs in the Circus.

Mrs Whibley
 

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Posted by Phaedra (# 8385) on :
 
According to linguist guy Steven Pinker (The Language Instinct, Words and Rules) it's actually right to make the plural regular when the meaning of a word is extended in certain ways... Tom and Mary Foreman aren't the Foremen, they're the Foremans; the Toronto hockey team is the Maple Leafs, not the Maple Leaves; and even when you're being pedantic, I suspect that more than one Ford Focus would be Focuses, not Foci.

And if there can be legitimate disagreement over whether computer pointing devices are mice or mouses, I'm sure the same is true of forums. The meaning's just distant enough from the original that the irregular plural doesn't necessarily copy over.
 

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Posted by Egeria (# 4517) on :
 
I don't believe anyone has yet mentioned the proud or indignant writers of letters-to-the-editor who proclaim: "I am an alumni..."


Really? You were cloned? Or perhaps you are a conjoined twin?

No--just no way to explain that one away...
 

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Posted by Yrmenlaf (# 8392) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:
Hotel, hostel and hospital are all based on a French word. ......And leaving the "h" off the front is extreme ignorant pretension.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yrmenlaf:

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:
Hotel, hostel and hospital are all based on a French word. ......And leaving the "h" off the front is extreme ignorant pretension.

---

Now I always thought that the correct English was "an 'otel" or "an 'ospital" (rather than "a hotel" or "a hospital").

Those of us who are English and of a certain age will remember a newsreader called Moira Stewart who was delightfully precise in her diction of these words.

I pronounce the "H"

Y.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yrmenlaf:
Now I always thought that the correct English was "an 'otel" or "an 'ospital" (rather than "a hotel" or "a hospital").

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nikon User:
"Expresso" always grates a bit.

---

Yes, it does.

I was in the supermarket just before Christmas, waiting at the cheese counter, and a very posh-looking lady in front of me asked if they had any of that "Em-MENT-al" cheese. At which the girl behind the counter turned and asked her colleague "Karen, do we have any EMMental?" correctly and very loudly.

A friend who's a waitress also gets irked by ladies-who-lunch types asking for "see-a-batta" bread.
 

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Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
I'm fighting a lone rear-guard action against the adoption of Panini as a singular noun into English.

As in "Any panini and crisps £3" - I'm inclined to ask how many panini I get for my money

Inexplicably, it's always 1.
 

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Posted by Caz... (# 3026) on :
 
What's the singular then? Panin?
 

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Posted by dogwatch (# 5226) on :
 
Panino?

Or maybe that's a minor character in "The Magic Flute".
 

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Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Like virtually every other Italian plural in -i, the singular ends in -o.
 

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Posted by Mathmo (# 5837) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yrmenlaf:
Those of us who are English and of a certain age will remember a newsreader called Moira Stewart who was delightfully precise in her diction of these words.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'm fighting a lone rear-guard action against the adoption of Panini as a singular noun into English.

---

One of the coffee shops near work sells

PANINI'S [sic]


 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'm fighting a lone rear-guard action against the adoption of Panini as a singular noun into English.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Like virtually every other Italian plural in -i, the singular ends in -o.

---

This is the language which my Italian teacher describes as having "an exception to every rule, an an exception to the exception"
I did the imperfect yesterday-there are two irregular endings which revert (confusingly) to an old form in the imperfect: -urre and -orre.

(I was also asked yesterday if I would like to take the class next time, as I was the only one to virtually finish the translation (by virtue of doing two things at once, to which my reply was "I got a lot of translation practise at A Level"-I did Latin and French.))

[edited because I forgot to count the brackets! ]

[ 01. February 2005, 19:38: Message edited by: Pendragon ]
 

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Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'm fighting a lone rear-guard action against the adoption of Panini as a singular noun into English.

---

Yup, well, I think you just lost. The practice is now so widespread you haven't a cat in hell's chance of reversing it now.

Incidentally are you consistent in your policy? Do you also pay for pizze when you eat out, and finish off your meal with a couple of cappuchini? Do you ever accidentally drop a spaghetto on the carpet? Inquiring minds would like to know.

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Pendragon:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Like virtually every other Italian plural in -i, the singular ends in -o.

---

This is the language which my Italian teacher describes as having "an exception to every rule, an an exception to the exception"
I did the imperfect yesterday-there are two irregular endings which revert (confusingly) to an old form in the imperfect: -urre and -orre.

(I was also asked yesterday if I would like to take the class next time, as I was the only one to virtually finish the translation (by virtue of doing two things at once, to which my reply was "I got a lot of translation practise at A Level"-I did Latin and French.))

[edited because I forgot to count the brackets! ]

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:


Yes, I'd drop a spaghetto.

---

If I was in England I think I'd drop a piece of spaghetti. In France, a spaghetti.
 

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Posted by angelfish (# 8884) on :
 
The school where my church currently meets is obviously educating the children about different countries. This Sunday, the country was Brazil and there was a collage on the school hall wall with the following phrase (in teacher's handwriting):

"The Brazilian flag is green with a yellow-shaped diamond in the middle"


 

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Posted by Mrs Badcrumble (# 5839) on :
 
Someone in my work place has a spelling problem,
Apparently we have -

scrap papper
a vacume nossle
and things are sent to det recovery
 

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Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by angelfish:
"The Brazilian flag is green with a yellow-shaped diamond in the middle"

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by babybear:

quote:

---

Originally posted by angelfish:
"The Brazilian flag is green with a yellow-shaped diamond in the middle"

---

How the Dickens can you have a yellow-shaped diamond? Diamonds are blue and yellows are circular.

---

Well, that's why she had to specify it was yellow-shaped, instead of it being obvious!

Amorya
 

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Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
No, no, no! Diamonds are brown and white. Yellow is a plane. Sheesh.
 

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Posted by angelfish (# 8884) on :
 
Amorya, if as babybear has stated, diamonds are blue and yellows are circular, then a yellow-shaped diamond would be a circular diamond.

How could such a thing exist? My head hurts.
 

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Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I spent five minutes trying to teach a colleague to say 'NEW-clee-are' instead of 'nuke-you-lear'! Wonder what it would take to have Jimmy Carter to give lessons to GWBush?
 

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Posted by babybear (# 34) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by angelfish:
a yellow-shaped diamond would be a circular diamond. How could such a thing exist?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by w_houle:
How does one pronounce excelsior or for that matter excelsis.

---

quote:

---

sheared squircle

---

Custard, you absolute fiend
I'll never ever be able to say that right again...
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.

---

Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?
 

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Posted by Hazey Jane (# 8754) on :
 
If I heard correctly, according to a woman on my train, a quick way to make Spaghetti Bolognase is to use a jar of ready made Napoleon sauce! I wonder how she makes Beef Wellington...
 

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Posted by Girl with the pearl earring (# 9151) on :
 
I managed to make a provide some unscheduled comedy in the last reading I did at chapel. It was the story of David and Goliath, and I managed to read it as David saving his lamb from the 'lions drawers'. Needless to say, the choir was in stitches! I didn't dare look at them, especially as the guy sitting nearest to the lectern was my boyfriend, and apparently can't keep a straight face when I'm reading at the best of times!

GWTPE x
 

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Posted by Anichan (# 9086) on :
 
At a Bible study group, someone had read the relevent passage out loud. Someone else said her translation had different connotations, and so read hers out loud. A third person piped up:

"That is quite different, isn't it? What translation is that, the HIV?"

[ 14. March 2005, 23:46: Message edited by: Anichan ]
 

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Posted by Leetle Masha (# 8209) on :
 
Hoping to prevent future embarrassment for the linguistically handicapped, I learned recently while watching a cooking demonstration that "Puttanesca" sauce for pasta is a sauce that Italian ladies of the evening used to keep simmering on a brazier in their dwellings, so as to have sauce for the pasta they consumed between clients.
 

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Posted by Margaret (# 283) on :
 
I'd always wondered if "puttanesca" was any relation of the French "putain" - that explains it all! Must be wonderfully restorative stuff
 

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Posted by Henry Troup (# 3722) on :
 
My wife was giving a short talk on calligraphy, and afterwards someone wanted to know what a sealed script would be like, since she had mentioned the uncial script, and the person had heard that as unsealed.

A common usage around here is to talk of "unthawing" something - which actually means thawing.

Then there are the Ottawa Valley waitress second person plurals: the singular is "dear", and the plural is "youse". "The cheeseburger, dear?" and "Does youse want anything else?"
 

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Posted by Leetle Masha (# 8209) on :
 
Ah, Margaret! A fellow philologist!
 

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Posted by Margaret (# 283) on :
 
Hi, Masha - and a fellow cat-lover too!

I wonder if the Ottawa Valley waitresses can trace their ancestry back to Glasgow? "Youse" is the second person plural there too, quite logically, I suppose.
 

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Posted by Henry Troup (# 3722) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Margaret:
...I wonder if the Ottawa Valley waitresses can trace their ancestry back to Glasgow? "Youse" is the second person plural there too, quite logically, I suppose.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.

---

Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.

---

Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?

---

Ex-sell. Is there another way?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.

---

Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?

---

Ex-sell. Is there another way?

---

Ex-ell.

Drop the 'c' when speaking (sure that's what you meant though Karl)

---

No, call me a Nyissan, but I definitely pronounce it with a double 's'.
 

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Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?

Since the 'x' in excel is pronounced 'ks' I would say that the whole word is pronounced 'eksel'. To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!
 

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Posted by Custard. (# 5402) on :
 
XL
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
...I remember reading somewhere that the ancient Babylonians had no less than 6 different pronunciations of the letter S. ..

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mousethief:
Anybody else have any run-ins with the linguistically handicapped that we can laugh at?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?

Since the 'x' in excel is pronounced 'ks' I would say that the whole word is pronounced 'eksel'. To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!

---

Ex-sell instead of Ex-el. There's a difference when I say the two; if anything a glottal stop is required to get the single 's'.
 

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Posted by sparkly_h (# 7997) on :
 
A friend of mine was comforting me during a crisis on our course and told me if I left, the profession would be "depraved" without me.

And we think she's headed for a first
 

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Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?

Since the 'x' in excel is pronounced 'ks' I would say that the whole word is pronounced 'eksel'. To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!

---

Ex-sell instead of Ex-el. There's a difference when I say the two; if anything a glottal stop is required to get the single 's'.

---

I think we may be talking at cross purposes. Do you or do you not agree with my phonetic rendering of 'Eksel'? The crucial thing to me is that an 'x' sound already includes an 's' sound (as well as a 'k' or hard 'c' sound) and this is what make is difficult to add another 's' sound after it.
 

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Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Perhaps it's conceptual, but if I split the word into two syllables, I get Ex-sell, not Ex-el - in other words the first syllable ends in an s and the second starts with one.

It's like the difference between "bookcase" and "backup". Perhaps it's better to call it a "long s" rather than a double s.
 

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Posted by Flubb (# 918) on :
 
My sister in law was a few days from giving birth, and had asked me to keep my phone with me at all times in case she needed a lift to the hospital. On the way to Sainsbury's I suddenly realised I hadn't got it with me, so I turned to my argentine girlfriend and said 'I hope Lorraine doesn't go into labour', to which she asked puzzled, 'What, the political party?'.

At which point I almost drove off the road.

Not quite lingustically handicapped, but close enuff

[ 18. March 2005, 23:07: Message edited by: Flubb ]
 

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Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?...

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T'was Captain Kangaroo who taught me how to say "wasps". Dancing around with a glottal stop can't be any harder can it?
 

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Posted by Anichan (# 9086) on :
 
Does apostrophic inconsistency count as a linguistic handicap? I saw a sign today that said:

"TOILETS - Ladies and Gentleman's"



[ 20. March 2005, 17:23: Message edited by: Anichan ]
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?
<snip>

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quote:

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Originally posted by Calindreams:
When my theology lecturer was asking everyone where we came from, one woman said she came from Chester.

The tutor asked 'Is that where they make the draws?'

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Can you explain this to a non-Brit?
 

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Posted by Amazing Grace (# 4754) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Mousethief:

quote:

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Originally posted by Calindreams:
When my theology lecturer was asking everyone where we came from, one woman said she came from Chester.

The tutor asked 'Is that where they make the draws?'

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Can you explain this to a non-Brit?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Ormo:
I dunno if it has been mentioned, but I was just at dinner with my father, uncle, aunt and brother and I was the only one who didn't pronounce espresso as expresso...

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